By Elias Cepeda

Episode four opens with Team Cruz’ Myles Jury and Team Faber’s Al Iaqunita walking into the training center for their fight, set to take place in 42. Cruz chose this matchup, putting Jury, who he had trained with in San Diego, against Faber’s first pick, Al Iaqunita.

Cruz looks to be using a strategy of trying to take out some of Faber’s toughest guys early in the competition.

“There’s a strategy to everything that I’m doing,” he says. “I want to go straight for the jugular on these guys, take out every guy that could give them hope.”

That he says it in his typical little boy voice makes Cruz’ ruthlessness even more eerie.

Faber , for his part, seems to like the match up as well. “Thank you! Yes,” he says of Cruz’ matchup.

We’ve discussed this season’s new format of live fights and related changes, but the season’s new theme music might be the best change of all. Invoking a lil Stevie Wonder and Red Hot Chili Peppers with their rendition of “Higher Ground,” is a step up from typical MMA-related music and also hits the right thematic note for a bunch of fighters trying to reach the next level.

Karl Amoussou vs. Chris Lozano, courtesy of IronForgesIron.com

As dangerous as Cleveland can be as a city, it has struggled to field decent sports teams and produce champions (not to mention keeping them). Last night at Bellator 63, which gave viewers the Quarterfinal round of this season’s welterweight tournament, “The Cleveland Assassin” Chris Lozano looked to break the cycle and make a run at Bellator’s welterweight title. If you’ve been paying any attention, you already know what to expect.

Perhaps no one in MMA other than Chael Sonnen embraces his alter-ego more than Lozano’s opponent, “Psycho” Karl Amoussou, who had Lozano uncharacteristically angered with his psycho routine before the fight. While that didn’t translate to either man swinging for the fences at the bell, it did lead to an early finish for the French judoka. After Amoussou cut Lozano with a head kick, “The Cleveland Assassin” took Amoussou down and landed in his guard, which would be Lozano’s only offense for the fight. From there, Amoussou swept Lozano, mounted him and took his back to sink in the rear-naked choke. Karl Amoussou improves to 14-4-2 in his welterweight debut.

The fight doesn’t show too much damage. That’s waiting for you after the jump. (Video: Our boy Zombie Prophet)

While Zuffa takes a load off, smaller organizations world ’round are stepping out from big brother’s shadow. In addition to last night’s stateside action, One FC 3 “War of the Lions” brought us an evening of duels straight out of Singapore. Originally slated to take on Renato Babalu, Melvin Manhoef didn’t let a change of opponents deter his game plan: maim everything in sight. Though he only threw down with Deep Light Heavyweight Champion Yoshiyuki Nakanishi for two minutes, he managed to deliver an impressive amount of damage to both of their legs before his gaping shin injury resulted in the bout being ruled a no-contest.

A bevy of unappetizing pictures and a slow-mo video of the injury await you after the jump.

Yvel vs Alexander (spoiler: no flying triangles)

We may be in the midst of a Zuffa drought, but that doesn’t mean we must thirst for knockouts. Last night Resurrection Fighting Alliance hooked up with Sherdog to bring you a live stream of their second card, which featured a pair of heavy hitters and a pioneer of the sport. Jens Pulver also returned to action for the promotion, though thankfully it was in the announcer’s booth this time.

The evening’s main event promised brain damage, and it lived up to our expectations. Houston Alexander displayed the one-strike power that launched his UFC-career, stammering Gilbert Yvel with an overhand right before knocking him down with a leg kick all in the opening thirty seconds of the bout. Yvel looked reserved in his second bout as a light-heavyweight, though against a brawler like Alexander pretty much everyone looks passive. “The Hurricane” started to open up in the latter half of the first round, and with just over a minute remaining on the clock he connected with a left hook that rocked Alexander followed by a big right hand that dropped him face first to the canvas–time to update our planking homage. That’s two straight wins for the recently re-invented 205′er and the second consecutive knockout loss for “The Assassin”.

Join us after the jump for videos and recaps of the Maurice Smith-Jorge Cordoba and Tara LaRosa-Kelly Warren bouts.

(Mickey O’Neil would not stand for this shit.)

As with anything featuring Kimbo Slice nowadays, the video of his “suspicious” fourth round KO of Brian Green last weekend has blown up thanks to a mix of controversy and street certified swagger (but mainly controversy), receiving over one million hits in just a few days (that’s good, right?). As many of you noticed when we originally reported on the fight, Slice’s last second knockout seemed a little too convenient to stomach. The punch didn’t seem to have much behind it, and Green’s reaction seemed like it was a poor bit of acting. Like Nicolas Cage in The Wicker Man remake poor.

When it comes down to it, no one but those involved can truly know whether the fight was fixed or not, but we all know the Internet has never needed a shred of evidence to start lobbing accusations at a public figure. For nearly five days, Green has had to endure the relentless mockery of keyboard warriors nationwide, and anyone from Dana White to well, myself, can attest to the lengths that a pissed off troll with a computer in his hands will go.

Brian Green, however, has enough of this shit. According to him, everyone just needs to step the hell back, because he ain’t no flopper. Matter of fact, Green says, if everyone wants validation, a rematch will certainly satisfy the naysayers.

We could be wrong, but it appears that Green, fueled by his own mix of disdain and Jagermeister, typed the following message for the entire world (ie. Facebook) to see at some point Wednesday night:

(Dammit! This was so much easier to escape in the video game!)  

On the heels of two straight submission via rear-naked choke losses courtesy of Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller, former “top contender” Melvin Guillard’s stock is probably at an all time low. The UFC, likely recognizing Melvin’s need to step up his ground game or GTFO, are not cutting him any slack, as they have paired him against 3rd degree (uh-oh) BJJ black belt (not good) under Royler Gracie (dear God) Fabricio Camoes. The worst part: Camoes is coming off a submission by rear-naked choke victory at UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller.

Game. Set. Soon.

Look, we’ve got mad respect for Melvin Guillard; how can you not love someone whose idea of avoiding the takedown is repeatedly throwing flying knees? But this does not look good for “The Young Assassin,” who may very well get the boot if he is submitted for the seventh time in his UFC career come July 7th. Come on Zuffa, you can’t even give him some low-level nobody to squash first?

Matter of fact, it looks to us like the UFC is trying to punish each and every member of The Blackzilians for Anthony Johnson’s colossal mistake. Have the Zuffa attorneys not informed DW and Joe Silva that judging a certain group of people based on one isolated incident is considered profiling, and could lead to a huge backlash from said group? If we could think of any examples from American history, say from around the 1960′s, that could possibly help prove this point, we would. Unfortunately, no such example exists. Perhaps we’re just lucky.

Join us after the jump for a ton of fight booking news…

(What has two thumbs, false teeth and a guaranteed title shot? This guy!)

After months of contradictory and unclear statements from Dan Henderson and UFC President Dana White, fans are now being told with certainty that Hendo’s next fight will be for a belt. Being the stone-cold pimp that he is, Henderson can fight in multiple divisions, and his next fight will take place at either middleweight or light-heavyweight. In a new interview with Heavy.com’s Megan Olivi, White had the following to say regarding the future of the winner of da greatest MMA fight ever:

“Dan Henderson will get the winner of that fight or the winner of the Anderson Silva [vs. Chael Sonnen] fight. Dan Henderson just wants a title shot. There’s been a lot of talk about the stuff that I said. Here’s the thing: I offered Dan Henderson two fights. Dan Henderson wants this fight. Normally I don’t do that. Guys don’t sit around and pick their fights. There’s been very specific cases where that’s happened and it’s guys who have earned it or deserve it, and Dan Henderson is one of those guys. Listen, if Dan Henderson, Henderson has been around forever. He’s forty-something years old, he’s been knocking guys out left and right. If he wants to sit around and wait for this title shot, he can do it.”

(Arianny Celeste photo of the month, via Nuts. Click for full-sized version.)

Some must-read content from our bros around the Internet…

- The Hurt Business: Little Victories, Tender Mercies (MMAFighting)

- Thiago Silva: I’m Going to Kill or Die Against Alexander Gustafsson (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Bittersweet Victory: Bellator Heavyweight Eric Prindle Discusses Thiago Santos and Upcoming Title Fight With Cole Konrad (MMAMania)

- We Seriously Want You to Watch Our Weigh-in Video for ONE FC: War of the Lions (MiddleEasy)

- Mighty Mouse Close to 2-to-1 Favored Status Over Ian McCall in Upcoming Rematch (FightOpinion)

- UFC Will Hold First Event in China in 2012 (MMAWeekly)

- Court McGee vs. Nick Ring Rematch Targeted for UFC 149 in Calgary (MMAJunkie)

- The Neighborhood Watch Reference Chart (HolyTaco)

- The 7 Worst Talk Show Hosts Of Our Generation (ScreenJunkies)

- Is Survival Horror Dead or Just Sleeping? (Gamefront)

- The 10 Funniest Comedy Songs (MadeMan)

- Charles Barkley Rocks A Dress For Weight Watchers (TerezOwens)

- VIDEO: Ron Burgundy’s Anchorman 2 Announcement (TurdFergusonBlog)

- How Many Calories Should You Eat To Lose Weight? (BuiltLean)

- What to Expect at This Weekend’s WrestleMania XXVIII (MensFitness)

(This will teach that animal shelter to let Rousimar Palhares adopt one of their strays.) 

Remember the video of that horrifying leg injury we posted earlier this month? Meet the complete opposite of that. In fact, this injury maiming is easily more traumatizing, because the poor bastard, who we will now refer to as…Timmy, had his leg bent in the opposite direction of that other chap.

Ninety degrees in the opposite direction. 

You see, Timmy partook in a wrestling tournament a few days ago, and mere seconds into the match, his opponent shot in for a double leg, utterly destroying Tim’s leg in the process. We were told that Timmy’s cries of pain, like the mighty conch that signals the KVWN-TV Channel 4 Evening News team, resonated all the way Williamsburg, Virginia, where Lawrence Taylor, as if under some form of mind control, immediately stood up and applauded in the dirty, empty alleyway he had fallen asleep in.

Check out the video after the jump. Just have your therapist on hold while you do so. 

In the final opening-round matchup of our epic t-shirt design tournament with Punch Buddies, UFC talent judges Stephan Bonnar and Urijah Faber send one more of your designs to the quarterfinals. Their choices are:

“Captain Butt Chin” by Bobby [who's misidentified in the vid, but whatevs]
vs.
“Urologist Faber” by Toby N.

As you’ll see in the video, both Stephan and Urijah fail to recognize Nazi pedophile Brandon Saling on the Captain Butt Chin shirt. We’re not sure if that affected Bobby’s chances, but it’s worth mentioning. Still, I think they made the right choice, simply based on Toby’s chin-placement.

The competition is only going to get tougher next week as we enter the quarterfinals. Catch up on our previous t-shirt tournament videos here, follow Punch Buddies on Twitter and Facebook, and let us know who you think is going all the way!

(“Did I at least win the grappling round?“)

Could Jason Miller‘s 10-plus-year fighting career come to an end on May 26th? Mayhem appeared on last night’s episode of Spike TV’s “MMA Uncensored Live,” and raised the stakes for his UFC 146 battle with CB Dollaway:

“I’m on my own chopping block. If I lose to him, I’m quitting! I don’t even deserve to be in there! There’s not an easy fight. In the UFC, there’s no easy fight. He doesn’t deserve to be in there with me, and I’ll prove it. I’ll prove it in under a round, because, we see…I tend to get tired in the second round. [laughs] We’re both in a similar spot in our career I guess. We’re both on the chopping block. That’s fine. I’m really happy with that.”

(Equinso Ocha: Always holding the black man down.) 

We could be wrong, because he speaks with a comprehensibility that would give a stenographer an aneurysm, but it definitely sounded like boxing great/MMA not-so-great James Toney just called former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson a “slave” in a recent interview with EsNewsReporting.com. Granted, he also claims that the UFC paid, and is still paying him, a grand total of 1.5 million dollars for his UFC 118 “fight” against Randy Couture, a notion that we know is complete and utter bullshit, but listen to what he had to say when asked about Rampage’s recurring plight with the UFC:

That’s what you get for being a slave to the white man. Don’t be scared. Step up and speak for yourself. That’s why I got paid the million-and-a-half dollars and am still getting paid by the UFC. You know what I’m sayin’? The highest paid fighter ever. You feel me, fat boy? Me. And you been there…what, twenty years and you’re getting paid pennies? While I make millions?

Rampage, if you wanna fight me boy? Come on down to the gym and I’ll give you a job first. …you could be the sparring partner. I pay $50 for a sparring partner.

First off, if you supposedly got paid $1.5 large at UFC 118, why is it that you only pay your sparring partners a measly fifty dollars? Who looks like an asshole now? You, Mr. Toney, that’s who.

Check out the video interview, along with our best attempt at transcribing it to English, after the jump. 

(The most notorious thief in MMA history chats cageside with Lee Murray.)

Lee Murray just can’t leave well enough alone. The former UFC/Cage Rage fighter and cash-heist mastermind has been in a Moroccan prison since 2006 after first being locked up on drug-possession charges, and is currently serving a 25-year sentence for his role in the Securitas kidnapping and robbery. Since then, we’ve heard stories of an escape attempt and the discovery of drugs and a laptop computer in his cell, but this shit right here takes the cake:

The cage-fighting crime boss behind the £53m Securitas heist has been moved to a high-security unit and stripped of prison luxuries. It comes after the Sunday Mirror revealed that Lee Murray, who is behind bars in Morocco on drug charges, fathered a child behind bars. Prison chiefs were furious after learning that he flouted rules by sleeping with a woman visitor who was not his wife.

Murray, 32, was moved to a tougher unit of Kenitra prison, near Rabat, and his mobile phone, television and DVDs were confiscated. It is believed that his right to have visitors has also been withdrawn…

(Step 1: MIRRORS.) 

Ladies and gentlemen (actually, just gentlemen), today is your lucky day, because you are about to learn how easy it is to become a UFC fighter. None other than TUF 8 runner up and rubber armed badass Vinny Magalhaes came across this instructional video last night and tweeted it for the world to see.

Simply put, if you have any aspirations of becoming an MMA UFC fighter, it would be idiotic not to watch this video, for it provides more insight into the world of mixed martial arts in a minute and a half than years of training and dedication could ever accomplish. Where Red Bull and The Secret failed, this video will succeed.

Join us after the jump to get your knowledge on.

(Muhammed Lawal in happier times.)

Remember two days ago when Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal went before the Nevada State Athletic Commission for a hearing on his for a positive drug test, got asked if he understood and could read English, was suspended and fined and then went on twitter to call the commissioner who asked about his literacy a racist? Well, her boss seems to disagree with that assessment.

We wrote NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer to ask him if he felt Commissioner Pat Lundvall’s line of questioning was offensive, racially or otherwise, or if her questions represented standard procedure in Nevada’s ongoing quest to emphasize fighters taking personal responsibility. Kizer was direct and concise in his response:

(Chael Sonnen posing with his favorite fake belt in front of his favorite fake backdrop.)

The UFC announced this week that middleweight champion Anderson Silva‘s highly anticipated rematch with #1 contender/doper/inspirational author/felon/snitch Chael Sonnen is to take place June 23rd in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. But when our friends at MMA Fighting asked Mr. Sonnen for comment on the announcement, he claimed to have not signed a bout agreement.

“My demand has not been met…I’ve signed nothing,” he told them.

It seems likely that while his actual signing is a formality at this point, the media-savvy Sonnen is trying to add some drama and comedy to the situation. Through his twitter account, Sonnen reiterated that he had one demand that needed to be met before he signed on to fight Silva, and that he would only “declare” it to television talk show host Jim Rome.

(Etim and Lauzon, seen here demonstrating the Tomax and Xamot effect.) 

Two lightweights will be looking to bounce back from horrific, nightmare-inducing losses and vie for the love of their malnourished alien overlord when Joe Lauzon takes on Terry Etim at UFC on Fox 4, which goes down on August 4th from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.

The last time we saw Etim in action, he fell victim to, and in fact helped spawn the idea behind, the “Falling Tree” knockout, when he was leveled via a spinning heel-kick compliments of Edson Barboza at UFC 142. The fight was only Etim’s second in as many years, as he spent most of the 2010-2011 season nursing a rib injury that forced him out of a match with, you guessed it, Joe Lauzon, at UFC 118. He was replaced by Gabe Rudiger for that event, and we all know how that ended up. Etim finally made his return at UFC 138 in England, where he submitted Edward Faaloloto with a guillotine in just 16 seconds. The victory earned Etim his fourth “Submission of the Night” award in his ten fight career under the Zuffa banner.

Lauzon is also coming off a devastating head kick KO loss– his coming against top lightweight contender Anthony Pettis in their main card scrap at UFC 144. Prior to that, Lauzon had put together a two fight win streak over Kurt Warburton (via kimura) at UFC Live: Kongo vs. Barry and Melvin Guillard (via rear-naked choke) at UFC 136. Lauzon has never lost two in a row in his UFC career, and Etim hasn’t since dropping back-to-back contests to Gleison Tibau and Rich Clementi at UFC 75 and 84, respectively.

I feel compelled to reiterate that the similarities between these two is nothing short of suspect. Both are coming off head kick knockout losses, both are SOTN savants, and both look like the offspring of Christopher Walken and a hairless Aye-Aye. Could it be that these two were separated at birth, destined to fight for the right to rule all of mankind somewhere down the road? Or are these mere coincidences? I suppose it all really depends on which type of person you are.

While you take a moment to reconsider everything your futile religion taught you to believe, join us after the jump for more fight booking news…

It’s day 3 of our Punch Buddies t-shirt design tournament, and the competition is only getting hairier and more intense. In today’s installment, your hosts Stephan Bonnar and Urijah Faber evaluate a pair of movie tributes — Michael P.’s “Fast Times” tee vs. Toby N.’s “Karate Kid” design — and Carlos G. does battle with himself in two Faber-on-a-bear designs. Which talented Potato Nation artist is going all the way? And how can I get my hands on one of those Diego “Dirty” Sanchez shirts? Stay tuned, and browse through some of PB’s classic t-shirts at PunchBuddies.com.

Semi-related video after the jump: Forrest Griffin does the monkey-face in his “Furious Forrest” Punch Buddies t-shirt.

Sigh…we just can’t help lovin’ Kenda Perez. Egotastic.com has released an exclusive photo-set of the foxy Best of PRIDE hostess, and we cherry-picked the best shots for your viewing pleasure. Check ‘em out in the gallery after the jump, along with two bonus shots from her 2012 calendar. Show Kenda some love on twitter @kendaperez.

Thanks to BabesofMMA for the tip!

(No, no, not THAT kind of ultimate fighter.) 

Seven years. Fifteen seasons. The Ultimate Fighter has been a part of our lives for nearly a decade, ladies and gentlemen, and not only is it still going strong, but it has spread at the rate of your average zombie apocalypse. With the first international installment of the hit reality show already under way, TUF has seemingly evolved beyond its counterparts, transcending even that of the sport in it’s ability to excite, and often inspire its audience. Sure, the next season of Jersey Shore will feature a piss drunk pregnant woman and a possible probable cokehead and will therefore rule the ratings from here to eternity, but The Ultimate Fighter has something better to bring to the table than fabricated drama. Mainly, sweet ass knockouts.

Seven years of sweet ass knockouts, to be precise. That’s the entire length of Tommy Callahan’s college career.

With these knockouts, we’ve seen underdogs pull off upsets, loudmouths get their comeuppance, and the emergence of future superstars. So in honor of what has already been a KO-ridden season of TUF, we decided to watch every season back to back, and determine the BEST knockout from its respective season. Enjoy.

(This is closest any of us ever got to Liddell without getting punched.)

Bad news, guys. As of yesterday, CagePotato senior editor Mike Russell has parted ways with this site. It wasn’t our choice, and it wasn’t his choice either. Sorry if that’s more cryptic than it should be, but we’d prefer to keep the details private for now.

What’s important is, Mike spent the past two years tirelessly writing and reporting for the Potato Nation’s entertainment, and we’re incredibly grateful for his efforts. He’ll be impossible to replace — and we can’t afford to replace him anyway, so hang on to those resumes for now.

After first impressing us in late 2009 with his artful mix of journalism and photoshop, Mike started as a full-time editor for CagePotato in April 2010. His introduction post immediately launched the old dad/new dad meme that has haunted our site ever since. On his first day (!), he had his martial arts credentials questioned by a butt-hurt Gus Johnson. Pissing off a public figure in the MMA world is something of a rite of passage on this site, and doing it within 12 hours of employment is a record that will probably never be broken.

Since then, “MRuss/GusBuster” has been our go-to guy for everything from Canadian fight news, to exclusive interviews with MMA stars, to podcast production, to hilarious photo galleries. We’ve placed links to some of Mike’s CP career highlights after the jump. Read on, and wish him well in the comments section…

(Test this man! No one has that much style naturally)

Mike Chiappetta reports that the Nevada State Athletic Commission decided to drug-test some of UFC 146′s big boys yesterday after a press conference held in Las Vegas to promote the May 26th event. Fighters given the surprise tests were heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos, #1 contender Alistair Overeem, Frank Mir, Cain Velasquez, Roy Nelson and Antonio Silva.

Nevada has been able to test athletes randomly for a while now, but only recently got an increase in their department’s funding that has allowed them to begin such testing in earnest, according to Chiappetta. The state commission decided to take advantage of all the fighters coming to the state, and save the money it might have cost to go to them, in effect. As the MMAFighting report explains:

After yesterday’s opening ceremonies, Stephan Bonnar and Urijah Faber are back to evaluate four more of your Punch Buddies t-shirt contest designs. Today’s opening-round matchups are…

- Ben S.’s California Kid action figure vs. Mandy M.’s “No Shirt Nation”
and in the ultra-violence division:
- Erik F.’s “Chucky Faber” vs. Dante F.’s Cruz-decapitation

Congrats to everybody who made it this far, and thanks to Punch Buddies for hooking us up with these videos! Be sure to check in with CagePotato every day through the rest of the week to see how the opening round of March T-Shirt Madness plays out. Was your design good enough to earn a pair of tickets to UFC 148 and a potential spot on Urijah’s torso?

(Now Mo, you’re going to have to be more original than that if you expect to get paid on the streets.) 

Quinton Jackson must be seething with rage right now. As you may recall, following his January 7th second round TKO victory over Lorenz Larkin at Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine, Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal tested positive for Drostanolone. Shortly thereafter, Mo acquired a particularly brutal case of staph infection that nearly took his life, but the bad news wasn’t over yet.

King Mo appeared before the Nevada State Athletic Commission yesterday to receive his punishment, which was rather standard — a 9 month suspension, a 30% fine of his $80,000 purse, the surrendering of his win bonus, and his bout with Larkin being overturned to a no-contest. However, things took a weird turn after chairperson Pat Lundvall, when referring to the information Lawal knowingly falsified on his pre-fight medical documents, called into question that of Lawal’s ability to read and understand English. Needless to say, Mo was rather insulted by such an accusation, and took to Twitter, where he promptly screwed himself royally.

Follow us after the jump for the full story. 

(Damn. We had completely repressed this memory.)

As confirmed on last night’s episode of UFC Tonight, Jake Shields will be returning to middleweight for his next fight, and will make his Octagon debut as a 185′er in the late summer. According to the report, Shields feels healthier at the higher weight and plans to add muscle to his frame during the transition. Making 170 has been a struggle for Shields in the past, and the difficulty of the welterweight cut was a factor in the decision.

As a UFC welterweight contender, Shields has somewhat fallen short of expectations. His four appearances have resulted in a 2-2 stretch highlighted by an anemic split-decision win over Martin Kampmann, a failed title-challenge against Georges St. Pierre, and a 53-second knockout loss against Jake Ellenberger. Most recently, Shields won a unanimous decision against Yoshihiro Akiyama, who was making his welterweight debut that night.

During his brief stint as a middleweight in Strikeforce, Shields won the promotion’s vacant middleweight title by out-pointing Jason Miller, then defended his belt in a stunning comeback against Dan Henderson. Will Shields be able to recapture some of that old magic in the UFC’s middleweight ranks? And who would you like to see him fight first? We know one guy who’s still waiting for his rematch, buddy…

(Does *this* look like the face of a man who might beat you to death with a large ceremonial hammer?)

You can all exhale now — Alistair Overeem‘s dust up at the Wynn Las Vegas hotel earlier this year, in which he allegedly shoved a woman, will not result in a jail sentence. This is good news for UFC fans who are salivating over his upcoming heavyweight title fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146, and great news for the lucky bastard who just avoided becoming the Reem’s cell mate. (I’m just saying, he’s a big man, and he needs love.)

Overeem waived his right to a trial and did not appear in court for his misdemeanor battery hearing yesterday. While he was busy throwing out energy fields at the UFC 146 press conference, Overeem’s attorney David Chesnoff finalized a plea deal that will require the fighter to fulfill 50 hours of community service and to undergo anger-management counseling. Hopefully Alistair learns to channel his aggression into something positive, like party-rocking. Overeem also received a suspended 90-day jail sentence, but the matter will be dismissed as long as he meets the conditions laid out by the court.

Without sharing details of the case, Overeem described the situation as a lesson about the differences between Holland and America:

(That moment when you get hit so hard you shit your pants in front of the whole gym.) 

Having worked with everyone from Manny Pacquiao to Andrei Arlovksi, it’s fair to say that Freddie Roach knows damn near all there is to know about the stand up game.

So when he sat down alongside current WBA (super), WBC, and The Ring super middleweight champion Andre Ward on last night’s edition of Inside MMA, the inevitable question came up: who does he think are the top five best boxers in MMA?

Check out Freddie’s top five, along with his thoughts on GSP vs. A. Silva, after the jump.

(“You’ve got him right where you want him, Patrick!”)

Since dropping his third straight fight to Tom Lawlor at UFC 121 and subsequently getting axed from the UFC, former middleweight title challenger (that still just seems weird to write) Patrick Cote has been quietly putting together wins under various Canadian promotions, and in fact has scored three straight over UFC veterans Kalib Starnes, Todd Brown, and Crafton Wallace.

Meanwhile, back here on Earth, Tim Sylvia has undergone one of the most obnoxious and plain bizarre campaigns to get back in the UFC that we have ever seen. He’s enlisted the help of the UG, he’s Twitter-bombed Dana White, and he’s even released a training video that was hands down the funniest two minutes this world has seen since that Leprechaun was spotted in Mobile, Alabama.

One thing Sylvia hasn’t been doing, however, is scoring convincing wins over decent opponents. And according to Cote, Sylvia, and any other ex-UFC fighters attempting to beg their way back into the promotion, need to simply “shut up and fight.”

It all started when Cote out the following Tweet amidst all of Sylvia’s UFC pandering.

“@patrick_cote: Dear Tim Sylvia, shut the hell up, win fights and stop begging, its f*cking anoying !!!”

Join us after the jump for the war of words. 

(Don’t play that shit around Senator Harry Reid. This is the man who *invented* invisible lat syndrome.)

As the editor of an MMA website, I’m constantly bombarded with images of tattooed skinheads engaged in gay foreplay. And yet, there are times when I’m faced with an image that even makes me uncomfortable. Check out 25 of the most chillingly awkward MMA photos in the gallery after the jump, laugh nervously, then avert your eyes in shame…

(You best believe that if Anderson’s wife isn’t making someone a sandwich, she’s doing their laundry.) 

Keeping with the theme of previous UFC on Fox promos, the latest ad features none other than UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva trying to convince us that he’s just a normal guy whilst performing tasks that only The Fonz could get away with. No, he isn’t lip singing Minnie Riperton or seducing Brazilian pop stars, but “The Spider” manages to be entertaining nonetheless.

But your probably asking yourself, how could someone who all but refuses to speak English appear in an American television commercial? Surely they didn’t subtitle him, because our forefathers didn’t die face down in the mud so that we’d be forced to listen to some cockamamie, Godless language in our own homes and read on top of it. But it turns out that there would be no need for subtitles, because wouldn’t you know, Chael Sonnen wasn’t lying to us; Anderson Silva speaks better English than Jackie Chan has managed to learn in twenty-some years of acting.

This more or less confirms that Big Nog did in fact try to feed a bus a carrot. It’s only a matter of time until the truth is revealed.

Join us after the jump for the video.