Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

April, 2012

Josh Thompson vs. Gilbert Melendez III Booked for May 19th Strikeforce Card, Because Why the Hell Not


(Hey Gil, hold up a finger for each title defense you’ve given a shit about lately.) 

OMG, you guys. Rematches are like SO HOT right now. So hot, in fact, that they are being booked regardless of whether they are necessary or not. Or, in the case of the recently booked Gilbert Melendez/Josh Thompson trilogy match, whether we even want to see them.

Don’t get us wrong, the first two scraps between these two were entertaining affairs, and the third should be no different. However, its matches like these that bring into question why Strikeforce is still in existence, you know, other than the ladies. Just check out the current roster of lightweights in the promotion and scoff accordingly. There are less contenders in that lineup than your average season of Dancing with the Stars, and even your friend Randy, who blew his hand to pieces with that M-80, could count the entire talent pool using his fingers and toes, and still have some left over.

Either Strikeforce needs to start recruiting fighters fast, or Melendez will be able to defend his belt more times than Anderson Silva and GSP combined…against Josh Thompson. Given that the UFC is currently purging all of Strikeforce’s remaining talent, it seems the latter is an inevitability. What will be most interesting to see is how Strikeforce will continue to market this from here to eternity. WHO’S READY FOR MELENDEZ/THOMPSON 10 IN OUTER SPACE?!

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Renato Laranja Tries to Spit Game at Ronda Rousey, Crashes and Burns in Humiliating Fashion [VIDEO]


(Props: twistereddie)

- Singing an R. Kelly love-jam in a thick Portuguese accent while your crush is getting out of the shower? EHHHHH!

- Bragging about your movie/pilot Return of the Death-Knuckle, then humbly following it up with “but you don’t wanna get bored with how much money I’m gonna make, that stuffs, how much fame gonna have for me and for the ladies in my life”? NOOOOOOOOO!

- Desperately offering to give her your “code for MySpace’ee” as she walks away, then beating your head against a wall? Fail upon fail.

Keep your head up, Laranja. There’s other fish in the sea

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VIDEO: Brock Lesnar Returns to WWE, Immediately F-5′s John Cena


(BROCK CARES NOT FOR JORTS.)

Brock Lesnar‘s rumored return to professional wrestling became terrifyingly real last night on WWE Raw. After a long-winded, jeer-drawing monologue from John Cena — who had just lost a match to The Rock in Wrestlemania 28′s main event the night before — Lesnar interrupted the proceedings by stalking into the arena. Pants were shat.

It was as if Lesnar’s previous four years fighting in the UFC, which included two years as the promotion’s heavyweight champion, was all a dream. The WWE fans in attendance at Miami’s American Airlines Arena welcomed Brock like he’d never left, and the Next Big Thing clearly hadn’t lost an ounce of his old swagger. Lesnar entered the ring, and without a whole lot of preamble, picked up Cena, spun him to the mat with his trademark F-5, then soccer-kicked Cena’s stupid little hat.

The video is after the jump. Discuss.

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Dana White Says Ellenberger/Kampmann Will Be For a Title Shot, We Call Shenanigans


(Wait, now I’m fighting who?) 

Maybe it’s because we’ve been burned many, many times before, but we’re not exactly sold on Dana White’s recent claims that the upcoming TUF 15 Finale headlining match between Martin Kampmann and Jake Ellenberger will be for the next title shot. You see, “number one contender” is a term that is so loosely used and abused by the Zuffa brass these days that it might as well be Rampage Jackson.

But be that as it may, a press release sent out by the UFC this morning, quoting the almighty DW nonetheless, has stated that the victor of Kampmann/Ellenberger will indeed get the winner of Condit/GSP, whenever the hell that happens:

The welterweight division is stacked and Jake Ellenberger and Martin Kampmann are going to fight for the chance to earn a title shot. They will headline the season finale of TUF Live on FX to crown the next Ultimate Fighter. There’s a lot at stake for the guys competing on this card at the Palms.

You see how they did that? “For the chance to earn a title shot,” is about as brilliant a non-commitment as we’ve ever seen. Dan Henderson would be impressed by such a classic Dana White misdirection, and would undoubtedly have a better response than the one you are about to read. But if you feel tricked, hoodwinked, or even bamboozled by such a statement, then you’re not alone. We’re not going to take it anymore, and are calling shenanigans on this right now before things get out of hand. Here’s why.

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Junior Dos Santos Sings Adele, Loves Katy Perry, And Doesn’t Give a F*ck What You Think About That [VIDEO]


(“Don’t you ever dismiss Katy Perry as an empty vessel for pop drivel again! ‘Teenage Dream’ is this generation’s ‘Sounds of Silence’!”)

TMZ is usually just good for catching Quinton “Rampage” Jackson monster truck racing police, Chuck Liddell drunk off his ass, or Dan Henderson corralling comely young ladies into cars. But recently their camera-creeps ran into the very well-behaved and incredibly friendly UFC heavyweight champ, Junior Dos Santos. As you’ll see, Dos Santos is becoming the new Wanderlei Silva — nightmare-inducing inside the ring but completely disarming and approachable outside of it.

Somehow, the amicable Dos Santos was able to turn the asinine pestering questions from the TMZ crew into an adorable video of him signing pop songs, and putting the sport of MMA in a favorable light. Check out the video after the jump of Dos Santos “singing” Adele and professing his love for Katy Perry.

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Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans, And Four More ‘Good Friends, Better Enemies’ Rivalries


(“You and I were long friends; you are now my enemy, and I am yours. – Ben Franklin)

By Jason Moles

Friendship is, and always will be, one of life’s trickiest puzzles. It is also one of the most rewarding and enriching experiences a person will ever have. But despite all of the wonderful joys that come from having a friend, not all friendships are made to last the sands of time like Fred and Barney. How could they? Ego, pride, and the opposite sex often reduce the strongest of bonds to mere ashes. And we wouldn’t want it any other way because some guys make good friends, but much better enemies. Here’s a look at five classic friendships gone awry…

Jon Jones – Rashad Evans

In a time when instant gratification is king, the world is still awaiting the showdown between former friends and training partners, ‘Suga’ Rashad Evans and Jon ‘Bones’ Jones. Jackson’s MMA used to be a place where the two sweat and bled together, side by side, day after day — as friends. These two were more like brothers than Ken and Frank, so much so that they vowed never to fight each other, suggesting someone would fake an injury to avoid the confrontation at all costs.

We’ve had multiple in-cage showdowns, a twitter beef or two, and a minor club incident since the moment the young rising star confirmed that he would indeed fight the former TUF 2 winner if Dana White really wanted him to. Fast forward a year and the two have still yet to fight thanks to injuries, both real and imagined. Some would argue that “Good things come to those who wait,” but patience is not a virtue most of us possess. We want to see these dudes throw down now! All we are concerned with at this point is who the teacher is and who is the student.

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Brock Lesnar Rumored to Have Signed with the WWE


(Has Lesnar decided to return to the quiet and dignified life of professional wrestling?)

Earlier this weekend there were rumors that former UFC heavyweight champion — and before that, former WWE champion — Brock Lesnar had signed a new deal with the WWE and would be making an appearance at their annual pay-per-view centerpiece WrestleMania yesterday. Lesnar never actually showed up on the broadcast, and the rumors of his re-signing with the WWE are still just that, but they come from about as reliable a rumor-mill as there is in the business, Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer (via MMAMania):

“Brock Lesnar has arrived in Miami and arrived with security and a large group of people shielding him from everyone. This is the going story, but not confirmed, that Lesnar has signed a one year deal and will work a more than Undertaker and less than Goldberg type of schedule.”

What they mean is that Lesnar would not be driving all over the country in a rental car five days a week, working show after show like most people on the WWE roster. That’s good, since Lesnar first left the WWE because he didn’t want to have to maintain the brutal grind of a pro wrestler’s life, no matter how well it paid.

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‘The Ultimate Fighter Brazil’ Complete Episode 2 Video


(On next week’s episode: The machete-and-claws deathmatch between Rony Jason and Hugo Wolverine.)

My complete ignorance of the Portugeuse language kept me from fully appreciating yesterday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil, but I do know that teams were selected, UFC featherweight champ Jose Aldo stopped by to hang out with Team Wanderlei, and the first featherweight quarterfinal went down between Wagner “Galeto” Campos and Godofredo “Pepey” de Oliveira. Team breakdowns are below, and the full episode video (including result spoiler) is after the jump, courtesy of TUFBrazil

Team Wanderlei: [FEATHERWEIGHTS] Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra, John “Macapa” Teixeira, Wagner “Galeto” Campos, Marcos Vinicius “Vina” Borges Pancini, [MIDDLEWEIGHTS] Leonardo “Macarrao” Mafra Teixeira, Delson “Pe de Chumbo” Heleno, Francisco “Massaranduba” Drinaldo, Renee Forte

Team Vitor: [FEATHERWEIGHTS] Hugo “Wolverine” Viana, Anistavio “Gasparzinho” Medeiros, Godofredo “Pepey” de Oliveira, Rodrigo Damm, [MIDDLEWEIGHTS] Cezar “Mutante” Ferreira, Daniel Sarafian, Sergio “Serginho” Moraes, Thiago “Bodao” Rela

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Quote(s) of the Day: Don Frye Bashes Dana White, Brock Lesnar, and Himself


(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)

For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.

So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.

First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:

Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.

Join us after the jump for more from the interview. Don’t worry, it only gets better.

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“WMMA: McCorkle vs. Heden” — Big Sexy Gets TKO’d, Parisyan and Fancy Pants Win Big


(McCorkle vs. Heden round 1; round 2 is after the jump. Props: PVTHansen16)

Notably stacked for a regional card, Worldwide Mixed Martial Arts‘ debut event went down Saturday night in El Paso, Texas, and was highlighted by an upset in the main event and a handful of UFC vets smashing their way into the win column.

At this point, when Sean McCorkle gets booked against a smaller, doughier opponent with a journeyman’s record, we just assume that “Big Sexy” will bully his way to a first-round stoppage without much difficulty. But WMMA 1′s super-heavyweight main event didn’t go down like that. Though McCorkle (who tipped the scales at 312 pounds) came very close to finishing the 287-pound Brian Heden near the end of the first round, he blew his cardio wad in the process. With McCorkle barely able to lift his arms in round two, Heden was able to reverse a takedown, trap McCorkle’s left arm, and slug his way to a TKO victory. According to Danga, the announcer referred to the win as “the upset of the century.” (Somewhere, Gus Johnson is masturbating.) In a follow-up post on the UG, McCorkle lamented the cardio problems that have plagued his entire athletic career, credited Heden for showing up in “decent shape”* and vowed to retire if his cardio ever contributed to another loss.

In the co-main event, Karo Parisyan snapped a three-fight losing streak when he scored a unanimous decision over veteran Thomas Denny. Even more impressive, Drew Fickett snapped a four-fight losing streak when he choked out WEC/Bellator vet Kevin Knabjian, despite reports that Fickett was pretty well sauced throughout fight week. (Obviously, it could have been worse.)

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