By Elias Cepeda

This week’s episode essentially begins with Coach Dominick Cruz lambasting last week’s losing fighter Chris Tickle. Faber gloats after his team’s second consecutive win.

“Cruz is trying to hold it together but he’s a poor loser. I know. I beat him before.” Oh snap.

Sure enough, Cruz appears to be losing it. “We had one thing to do; stuff the takedown,” Cruz tells Tickle in the locker room immediately after his submission loss to Joe Proctor. “We were telling you in the corner, turn you back to the mat. He didn’t have the choke in…that loss shouldn’t have happened.”

Then Tickle tries to say something. Cruz responds, “shut up and listen.”

Cruz continues to lecture Tickle outside of their locker room. Faber notices this and shouts out to Chris, “Great job, Tickle. You did good. Don’t let anybody get you down. Don’t let anybody get you down.”

Cruz loses it. “Faber, nobody cares what you have to say. Just get out of here,” he says. Then Cruz proceeds to insult Faber’s fashion sense. Really.

On to this week’s matchup – Team Cruz’ Vinc Pincel vs. Team Faber’s John Cofer. Faber offers simple advice to the former division I wrestler Cofer. “Weather the storm. When he comes in hard, go for the takedown.”

Faber says that he feels that Pincel has terrible takedown defense. Let’s see if Pincel makes him a liar.

Why yes, I do like Huey Lewis and The News… Props: Las Vegas Sun

The speculation has officially ended. After ruling out Frank Mir, Cain Velasquez and Mark Hunt as potential replacements for Alistair Overeem to fight heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146, Dana White has officially announced his pick. Late last night, Dana White sent out a tweet confirming that Overeem’s replacement will be none other than…Frank Mir.

Huh. How about that?

While we’re all sure that there’s a reasonable explanation for Alistair Overeem’s suspiciously high 14:1 testosterone-to-epitestosterone ratio, the UFC aren’t taking any chances. Rather than waiting for Overeem to meet with the Nevada State Athletic Commission on Tuesday, “The Demolition Man” has been removed from the card entirely. Draw your own conclusions.

(Thank God they brought in Joe Silva to separate two former UFC champions if things got heated.) 

With the exception of John Makdessi, who weighed in at 158 pounds and was forced to hand over 20 percent of his purse to opponent Anthony Njokuani, all fighters made weight at this afternoon’s UFC 145 weigh-ins. Jon Jones tipped the scales at the light-heavyweight limit of 205, where Rashad Evans weighed-in just shy at 204. One of the more interesting moments from the event, as noted by our buddy Ariel Helwani, was the stare down between the newly re-signed Miguel Torres and Michael McDonald. Obviously a fan of how the 209 do business, Torres put on his finest mean mug for the pair’s stare down, only to be basically laughed at by “Mayday,” who clearly wasn’t intimidated.

Another thing of note: Despite weighing in just under the heavyweight limit, Ben Rothwell looked to be in way better shape than we’ve seen in the past. Will it help him come fight night? Probably not, but we can all dream.

Full results and the video are after the jump. 

(Jessica Eye and Anita Rodriguez face off at yesterday’s weigh-ins. / Photo via Bellator.com)

Before the main card kicks off on MTV2, Bellator 66 will feature a set of prelim bouts featuring two UFC vets — Jason Dent and Donny Walker — as well as women’s flyweight up-and-comer Jessica “Evil” Eye. For the first time ever, you can watch all the preliminary card action right here on CagePotato.com starting at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT, in the streaming video player after the jump. Free MMA is always a good thing, so give it a look!

(Apparently Lesnar was the only one who wasn’t a fan of Anderson Silva’s nude pictorial.) 

Adhering to its usual formula and taking a look back at the locker room footage from the previous event, the newest edition of UFC President Dana White’s infamous vlog features an up close and personal look at the poor bastards who came up short at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva. And Brian Stann. He’s simply too nice to not be around at all times.

After DW’s regular introduction, we are treated to the woeful words of Damacio Page, Damarques Johnson, and Thiago Silva, who all insist that they are “fine.” We know what that really means. But worse than “The Angel of Death,” worse even than “Darkness,” is the silent sorrow of Paulo Thiago, who stares on in disbelief when re-watching the final moments of his first round KO loss to Siyar Bahadurzada. Thiago has now lost three of his last four UFC contests, despite having the most badass day job of any UFC fighter ever. Chin up, Paulo, we know you’ll be back with a vengeance.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Never touch Herb Dean’s hair. It’s a lesson you only need to learn once. / Photo via Sherdog)

As if we don’t give you vultures enough free swag, we were just hooked up with four passes to the movie Safe, which hits theaters on April 27th. Starring MMA superfan Jason Statham, the flick is about an ex-cage-fighter who seeks to protect a young Chinese girl whose memory holds a priceless numerical code wanted by the Russian Mafia, the Triads, and corrupt police. In other words, Statham beats the living f*ck out of lots of people.

It’s caption contest time, and the winner takes all. Post a caption to the above photo in the comments section by Monday at midnight ET, and we’ll round up the best ones on Tuesday. The best one gets all four movie passes. Any questions? Now get crackin’…

(Click for full-size version. Photo courtesy of Twitter.com/theJadeBryce)

Every Friday, Playboy’s twitter account asks its past models to send in steamy pics of themselves, in an orgy of crowd-sourced hotness called #FriskyFriday. Representing the MMA ring girl community this week is everyone’s favorite Cybergirl, Jade Bryce. Jade tweeted out the above photo earlier today with these instructions:

Here’s my #friskyfriday pic! Promoting #SAFE w/ @Playboy ) RT w/ #JadeBryce to win a signed copy!!

So make a travel-size model happy and retweet her tweet, okay? And make sure to follow her @theJadeBryce.

Also, because Jade loves CagePotato so damn much, she sent us a bonus pic which you can view after the jump. Like the one above, it’s safe-for-work as long as your boss is cool about naked chicks.

(What? Is that ghost you’ve been staring at all these years on his lunch break?) 

By Ryan Sarr

The time for talk is up. For over a year now, we’ve watched as Jon Jones and Rashad Evans’ relationship has deteriorated from training partners willing to fake injury to avoid fighting one another, to bitter enemies just waiting for the chance to beat the other into a living death. Is all the personal heat real? Can these two bury the hatchet after the fight? We’ll find out soon enough, but either way, this has all the makings of a can’t miss war that will not soon be forgotten. All signs point to a decisive victory for “Bones” in ATL tomorrow night, but as we all know, anything can happen in a fight. So join me as I break down all the main card fights taking place at UFC 145 and give you my street-certified predictions.

Jon Jones (15-1, 9-1 UFC) vs. Rashad Evans (17-1-1, 12-1-1 UFC)

At only 24 years old, Jones has already been in more title fights(3) than the 32 year-old Evans(2). So clearly, Jones should not be intimidated, for he is battle-tested and has proven himself worthy of carrying that UFC Light Heavyweight belt. And not only has Jones taken out three former UFC champions in his last three fights, he has done so in devastating fashion. In his last fight, Jones dropped Lyoto Machida (a.k.a the man who made Rashad do the cross-eyed stanky leg) face down on the mat after choking him unconscious. That type of win has to make Jones feel good going into his fight with Rashad.

While Jones comes into Saturday night riding a stratospheric surge of momentum, Rashad enters this fight following an unceremonious, workmanlike decision victory over Phil Davis at UFC on Fox in January. However, there are many positives to take away from that victory, the first of which being the decisive, dominant manner in which Rashad managed to defeat a very talented prospect in Davis. “Suga” overcame a significant reach disadvantage (like he will face with Jones) to close the gap and effectively control Davis with his superior wrestling and ground game. Second, Rashad finally had the chance to prove that he could go the full five rounds, and imposed his will on “Mr. Wonderful” from the start of round 1 to the end of the fifth. Most of the Potato Nation seems to agree that his fight with Jones will likely be a knock down, drag out war that tests the will, strength, and cardiac endurance of both men, so it’s good to know that Rashad will be able to keep up with Jones if the fight makes it into the championship rounds. Finally, Rashad demonstrated that once he gets his opponent down on the mat, he can do some serious damage. So even if Rashad may not be able to stand and trade with Jones, he at least knows that if he can get Jones down, his chances of grinding out a victory significantly increase.

Join us after the jump for more on Jones/Evans, as well as a break down of all of the main card’s match-ups. 

(Matt Serra: MMA’s patron saint of lost causes.)

With tomorrow night’s UFC 145 main event slated as a 4-1 squash match, the CP gang is talking upsets for today’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable. If you have a topic-suggestion for a future Roundtable column, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com, and share your own MMA-upset testimonials in the comments section…

Doug “ReX13″ Richardson

This wasn’t a hard decision for me: My personal “greatest upset” would have to be Fabricio Werdum vs. Fedor Emelianenko.

While I normally disagree with that crazy fanboy (hey Sodak) explaining to me how Fedor is an intelligent machine, sent back in time to destroy craniums and assassinate Andrei Arlovski, I completely wrote off Werdum here. Like, no way a guy who hung out in Minotauro Nogueira’s guard for six days is going to get tapped by a dude who calls himself “Go Horse” and smiles like this, right? So yeah, I gave him no chance of pulling out a victory. I could be on tape somewhere saying that he had no chance, in an obnoxiously opinionated manner. I may also be credited with one of the worst predictions in CP history.

So yeah, that one stung a little bit.

(“MMA: Inside the Cage” #90 — skip to 5:54 for MMA’s latest three-second knockout, 6:38 for a Gash of the Year candidate, and 8:38 for highlights from Nick Newell‘s decision victory over Chris Coggins last weekend.)

Some must-see content from our homies and partners around the Internet…

- New York State Senate Passes MMA Legalization Bill…Again (Fightline)

- Once Jon Jones Stopped ‘Wild’ Partying and ‘Immature Things,’ Real Problems With Rashad Evans Started (MMAMania)

- Kid Yamamoto Risks His Life to Save Injured Man at Tokyo Subway Station (MMAFighting)

- NAC Excludes Diaz from April Agenda; Camp Says Doctor’s Statement Proof of Legal Marijuana Use (Sherdog)

- The Top Ten Unreleased MiddleEasy Videos You’ve Never Seen…Because They’re Unreleased (MiddleEasy)

- The Super Mega Ultimate Wedding Fails Montage (WorldWideInternet)

- Why Slow Sex Is Better (MensFitness)

- The 7 Sandwiches of Shame (HolyTaco)

- The 10 Sorriest Excuses for Sports (MadeMan)

- Who Will Take Dick Clark’s Title Of World’s Oldest Teenager? (ScreenJunkies)

- Half-Life 3 Needs to Shit or Get Off the Pot (Gamefront)

- ‘Draw Something’ Taken to a Whole New Level (TurdFergusonBlog)

- Better Lefty QB: Obama or Tebow (TerezOwens)

(In Brazilian culture, the “Easter Bunny” is two men, one small and one large, covered in body hair and scars. / Photo via SporTV)

It’s not Rolles Gracie, it’s not Bobby Lashley, and it’s not Todd Duffee. According to a tweet sent out today by M-1 Global Director of Operations Evgeni Kogan, Fedor Emelianenko‘s opponent at the June 21st M-1 event at the Ice Palace in St. Petersburg will instead be three-time UFC heavyweight title contender Pedro Rizzo. Please, try to control your excitement.

A free-agent who’s been out of the elite circuit of MMA competition for years, Rizzo didn’t compete at all last year, partly due to an arm injury. Still, he’s riding a three-fight win streak dating back to September 2009, with victories over Jeff Monson, Gary Goodridge, and Ken Shamrock. Meanwhile, Fedor picked-up back-to-back wins over Monson and Satoshi Ishii late last year, which followed his disastrous 1-3 run in Strikeforce.

On one hand, Rizzo feels like a hand-picked opponent for Fedor. On the other hand, there aren’t many better options outside of the Zuffa umbrella. Anybody looking forward to this one?

(Excellent use of Le Tigre, Mr. Silva.) 

Whether you’re referring to his antics in or out of the cage, to describe UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva as anything less than an enigma would be a massive understatement. Aside from his appearances in some of the most bizarrely entertaining commercials this side of Japan, “The Spider” has willingly spent time around Sensei Seagal, a man so off-the-wall insane that he will literally threaten you with a lawsuit if you attempt to poke fun at his massive ego. 

*looks over shoulder*

Apparently not satisfied with the amount of verbal attacks being lobbed at him by Chael Sonnen recently, Silva sat down with Brazilian news outlet Globo magazine, who referred to an interview the champ did with Istoe Gente in which he described himself as both a metrosexual and a user of Victoria’s secret products. Thank Christ, it wasn’t the lingerie.

Check out an excerpt from the interview after the jump. 

(Don’t worry, we put more effort into this piece than the UFC marketing department did into that poster.) 

Rumor has it that on Saturday night, two certain somebodies may or may not partake in a certain fight that you may or may not be able to place a certain wager on, which may or may not be dependent on whether you think or don’t think you know a certain outcome of the fight itself, capiche? In either case, we are going to offer some advice that may or may not help you arrive at that determination. Check out what could hypothetically be the betting lines for UFC 145, courtesy of BestFightOdds, below, and follow us after the jump for what may or may not be our advice on where to place a certain bet that may or may not exist.

MAIN CARD
Jon Jones (-485) vs. Rashad Evans (+385)
Rory MacDonald (-600) vs. Che Mills (+450)
Ben Rothwell (+240) vs. Brendan Schaub (-280)
Mark Hominick (-600) vs. Eddie Yagin (+450)
Mark Bocek (-400) vs. John Alessio (+325)
Michael McDonald (even) vs. Miguel Torres (-120)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Travis Browne (-260) vs. Chad Griggs (+220)
Matt Brown (+250) vs. Stephen Thompson (-300)
John Makdessi (+175) vs. Anthony Njokuani (-210)
Mac Danzig (-210) vs. Efrain Escudero (+175)
Chris Clements (-200) vs. Keith Wisniewski (+170)
Maximo Blanco (-265) vs. Marcus Brimage (+225)

Thoughts…

(Aoki vs. Alvarez 1, 12/31/08)

Cripes, is it April 19th already? We didn’t burn a lot of calories discussing this fight, but the long-awaited rematch between former Bellator lightweight champ Eddie Alvarez and DREAM lightweight champ Shinya Aoki is happening tomorrow night at the I-X Center in Cleveland, as the main event of Bellator 66.

Aoki and Alvarez originally met at Dynamite!! 2008, with Aoki wrenching out a heel-hook victory in just 92 seconds. Now he’s agreed to meet his old foe on American soil, which is very sportsmanlike of him — but keep in mind that the last time he gave an American a rematch on their own turf he got dominated by Gilbert Melendez. Aoki has won all seven of his fights since that loss to El Niño, while Alvarez is coming off his submission loss to Michael Chandler in their Fight of the Year candidate at Bellator 58.

Bellator 66 will also feature the semi-finals of their season 6 lightweight and middleweight tournaments, and get this: We’ll be streaming the Bellator 66 prelims on CagePotato.com tomorrow starting at 7 p.m. ET. So be sure to come back for that, and check out the full event lineup after the jump…

(Click images for full-size versions.)

In honor of tomorrow’s release of our new favorite MMA documentary Fightville — look out for it in select theaters, video-on-demand, and iTunes digital download — we thought we’d give away some movie-related swag. We have in our possession three prize packages that include the official Fightville t-shirt produced by the geniuses at No Mas, as well as a Fightville movie poster signed by Dustin Poirier and Tim Credeur. To get it all, you’ll have to out-guess the competition in this weekend’s UFC 145 fight picking contest.

Along with the Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans main event, we’d like you to predict the results for two preliminary-card bouts: Travis Browne vs. Chad Griggs, and Mac Danzig vs. Efrain Escudero. Submit your predictions for all three fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage, if any. Your entry should be in this format:

(Pass the punchie pon the left hand side…)

Just two days out from his showdown with former UFC light heavyweight champion and bitter frenemy Rashad Evans, it appears that current champ Jon Jones has elevated his training level from Keanu Reeves to “Threat Level Midnight.” Believe it or not, his enthusiasm has had an adverse effect on the mental and physical well-being of his training partners.

Take the following video, for instance, in which Jones is matched up against who we can only assume is Nick Diaz’s pot dealer. Seriously, if we weren’t such knowledgeable MMA fans, this video would look more like the singer of Shadows Fall stumbled off his tour bus into what he believed was a cafeteria, feeling irie and looking for the nearest bag of Doritos Cool Ranch, only to be knocked the fuck out by a large African American man with hands as quick as lightning and twice as powerful. The poor bastard.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Nope. Not even gonna go there. / Photo via Zimbio.)

After all the unexpected drama on Tuesday, I was really hoping we could put “caption-gate” behind us. Oh, if only. Following up their first report on the UFC’s demand for retraction, USA Today did a second piece with UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta which further explains why the promotion was so furious with this website. Here are some choice quotes from Fertitta:

“These fighters are already paranoid enough. Dana had to talk to Rashad on the phone for 30 minutes to calm him down, to tell him, ‘Are you crazy? There’s no way I would ever bet on a fight or bet against you.’…You’ve got to understand, Rashad’s entire team — his entire camp — was in his ear telling him they read this online and that Dana bet half a million dollars against him.”

“[CagePotato] flatout lied. They just made up a story and lied. Somebody who doesn’t know what our policies are and what we do, they could look at it in a very negative light…These guys go out and do this reckless reporting — it’s not even reporting — make these reckless statements and they end up causing us fallout and having to deal with issues. Why should we even have to deal with this stuff? They made this up and lied and put it online.”

“It didn’t read like a joke at all. If you look at the article, when you first read that, it sounds like that they were in a room with Dana, talking to him, and he says, ‘Oh,’ and he kind of made a mistake and said something, and said ‘Don’t print that.’…if I read an article like that, I would seriously believe that that actually happened and that went down.”

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com / Click image for larger version.)

Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans, this Saturday night — rivalries will be settled, swagger will be jacked, special nights will be ruined. The two light-heavyweights met face-to-face yesterday at a press conference in Atlanta, and though Jones and Evans are all talked out at this point, their staredown was enough to get us hyped up in the home stretch to UFC 145. After the jump: Video highlights from the press conference.

(Anyone else want to negotiate?)

It’s looking like current Bellator middleweight champion and world renowned can-crusher Hector Lombard may finally get his chance to make waves in the UFC. Yes, it seems the man who has vowed to “take Anderson Silva’s head off” was recently offered a contract with the UFC in light of his dispute-ridden contract with Bellator expiring earlier this month. The Cuban-born knockout artist has been out of action since steamrolling Trevor Prangley in the second round of their catchweight non-title affair back in November of 2011, and has still yet to grant season five middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko his much deserved rematch. We can likely call that one a wash at this point.

And although that sucks for Shlemenko, we’ve got to admit that we’d much rather see “Lightning” in the UFC. If you recall, Lombard was supposed to make his promotional debut way back at UFC 78 in November of 2007 against Karo Parisyan, but Visa issues forced him to withdraw after he was denied entry into the country. He was eventually replaced by Ryo Chonan, who couldn’t handle “The Heat” and was defeated by unanimous decision.

Five years and countless corpses of MMA journeyman later, we may finally see Lombard live up to his potential.

But before we start setting ourselves up for disappointment, we (and the UFC) are awaiting a move from the Bellator brass, who still have an opportunity to match the UFC’s offer. Bellator CEO told Sherdog that a “strategic decision” would determine Lombard’s future with the company, but that they wouldn’t even begin deliberation until after this weekend’s Bellator 66 event:

We’ve received the final proposed UFC agreement from Hector’s attorney, and right now we are in the process of reviewing it to determine whether we’re going to match the agreement. We’ve got the 60 pages of UFC contract that were forwarded to us by Hector’s counsel.

Out of respect for Hector, I think we will turn [the UFC contract] around very quickly. Obviously, we have a huge event coming up Friday. As soon as that is over, we will sit down with our partners and go through the UFC contract line-for-line and make a strategic decision whether we’re going to match it or pass. [If we pass, we will] wish him the best and let him go knock out everybody in the UFC.

Check out more from the interview after the jump.

(Did you just call my mum a bumbag, you budgie-smuggler wearing dole bludger?) 

Meet “Diamond” Dan Pauling, a nineteen year old undefeated prospect fighting out of the Australian-based Shindo New Breed camp. All of his eight victories have come inside the distance, with all but one of them coming by way of submission. Just four days ago, he stepped into the cage at FightWorld Cup 11 to square off against 4-3 slugger James Vainikolo in the evening’s main event. What transpired will ultimately go down as one of the most gutsy comebacks in the history of MMA.

To be clear, this wasn’t a Cheick Kongo/Pat Barry return-from-the-grave type comeback that will make you recoil in shock and awe. No, until the very end, this fight more closely resembled something out of a Rocky movie, in which our hero absorbed well over one thousand punches and offered little to nothing in return. Now take that and combine it with an attrition level that would make you beg for Ben Rothwell vs. Mark Hunt II, and you’ve pretty much got the picture here.

That being said, Pauling deserves some sort of award for his performance based on pure heart and determination alone.

Check out the crazy video after the jump.

(Come on guys, I promise never to let you down again…pinky swear! / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

By Josh Hutchinson

Alistair Overeem — former Strikeforce and Dream heavyweight champion, K-1 Grand Prix champion, two-time World MMA Awards International Fighter of the Year recipient, horse-meat enthusiast, music video superstar, and the #1 contender in the UFC’s heavyweight division. By now we all know the drama surrounding him and his scheduled championship fight at UFC 146. We’ve seen various replacement opponents for Junior Dos Santos get shot down, and have come to a general consensus that the Reem is most likely a cheating bastard. Fans and pundits alike have collectively called bullshit on the idea that NSAC would still consider letting the fight occur. If you take things like science, logic, and common sense into account, it’s pretty obvious what should happen here — but if we don’t play devil’s advocate, who will? Instead, let’s look at three reasons why Overeem vs. Dos Santos must happen. For example…

1) Why let all this publicity go to waste? Of the major MMA news stories that have popped up over the last few weeks, which one has dominated the headlines? If you said “Overeem’s urine analysis results,” then congratulations — you’ve not only been reading this site, but you have a much better vocabulary than me, because I would have said “Reem’s hot piss test.” For better or worse, Overeem’s dodgy test results have consumed the MMA world like the plagues of Egypt, and his name is on everyone’s lips. Maybe it’s not exactly the publicity that the UFC was hoping for, but they’d be fools not to take advantage of it. Dos Santos is such a likeable, soft-spoken character, and it would be very easy to spin the Reem as the villain in their match. And suddenly, what was simply a great heavyweight matchup just got a compelling storyline.

(And to think this all started with a friction-based erection.) 

Chuck Liddell has been through some shit, ladies and gentlemen. He fought through the dark ages of the UFC, and in fact helped spearhead its rise into the mainstream. And he walked that path to glory on the mangled bones and concussed skulls of his dearest friends and family. The man’s nickname is “The Iceman,” for Christ’s sake, and considering that the nickname is written in quotations, it must literally mean that he has ice flowing through his veins. So you can imagine his lack of understanding when it comes to all these pussified, liberal fighters claiming that they won’t fight their teammates nowadays. According to Liddell, these so-called fighters should put their differences aside in the cage, duke it out, and then have a beer afterward. Here’s what he told The MMA Hour: 

If (a teammate) can beat me, they can beat me. It is what it is. They deserve to fight me then. I’m not going to hold back some guy that’s in my camp if he wants to fight me. That’s not my thing. It’s just a personal choice and a personal opinion, but I think eventually, hey you guys are going at it, then go out and have two beers together afterwards. Go out there and prove who’s best that day, and go out and be friends again.

Given Liddell’s well documented feud with former teammate Tito Ortiz, you can rest assured that he is a man of his word. Hell, the fact that these two can even stand in the same room with each other, let alone pose for these kinds of pictures is pretty amazing after all that they have been through.

(Props: FuelTV)

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Chael Sonnen feels sympathy for Alistair Overeem, considering his own history with abnormally high testosterone levels. On last night’s installment of his weekly troll segment for UFC Tonight, Sonnen blasted MMA media for implying that the Reem tested positive for anything illegal:

“Congratulations, MMA media. Right when I think your incompetence cannot get to any higher level, the Alistair Overeem story comes out. From you kids on the interwebs, running your little dot-com’s from the couch in your mother’s basement, to you beneficiaries of Mark Cuban’s tax write-off, you’ve gone and screwed up the Alistair Overeem case beyond all belief. Is it repairable? I doubt it. If I’m a member of the media and someone tells me that Alistair Overeem failed a drug test, the very first thing I’m going to say is: ‘Really? What substance did he test positive for?’ You see, those basic questions are where the wheels begin to fall off the bus to this entire story.

On May 5th, 2006, Canadian welterweight Chris Clements (1-1 at the time) met a first-time fighter named Lautaro Tucas at TKO 25 in Montreal. Putting his lack of experience on full display, Tucas opened the fight by skipping madly across the ring at Clements, his arms draped at his sides. Clements loaded up a right straight and immediately knocked Tucas out cold.

The stoppage was recorded at 0:03 of round 1 — the first three-second knockout in MMA history, establishing a record that has yet to be broken in professional competition. (In case you’re wondering, Kid Yamamoto’s famous flying knee was officially marked as four seconds, and the Harris/Fuller fake-tap backfire KO was recorded as five seconds, even though they both seemed to end just as immediately as Clements vs. Tucas.)

Tucas never fought again, but Clements — now 10-4 with all of his wins by KO/TKO — continued to compete in Canada, and is finally making his Octagon debut this Saturday at UFC 145 in Atlanta. Currently riding a four-fight win streak that includes stoppages of UFC vets Rich Clementi and Jonathan Goulet, Clements will be part of UFC 145′s Facebook prelims broadcast, facing off against Keith Wisniewski (28-13-1, 0-2 UFC), the Indiana-based journeyman who’s perhaps most famous for getting his arm snapped by Shinya Aoki.

After the jump: Two more examples of Clements’s freaky power.

By Elias Cepeda

(Photo via Esther Lin & MMAFighting )

A week before he will appear before the Nevada State Athletic Commission for a hearing regarding his failed March drug test and to request a license to fight Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146, the NSAC’s Executive Director Keith Kizer says that Alistair Overeem’s legal team has yet to request additional sample tests or to indicate that they will apply for a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy.

“They’ve asked for no additional testing ,” Kizer told CagePotato.com. “I have talked with Overeem’s attorney and that issue has not been raised.”

“He has not indicated what [Overeem’s] defense will be, but he has not said to me, as I’m sure he would have if he was using it, that [Overeem] is on TRT,” Kizer continued. “That is not to say that they could not still make that case and ask for a therapeutic use exemption for TRT, but if they do, I’d be as shocked as the next person. We’ll all see what they do when April 24^th comes around.”

When Overeem’s hearing does take place in one week, Kizer anticipates that the fighter will not have an easy road to getting licensed again. “It is going to be a very tough hearing for Mr. Overeem, to say the least,” Kizer said.

On Saturday, we published a post about the UFC’s sponsorship of Jon Jones for his upcoming fight against Rashad Evans, which included a satirical caption about UFC president Dana White betting money on the fight. The caption was intended to be a joke, and we were confident that it would interpreted that way by our readers. Earlier today, we received a press release announcing that the UFC and Dana White are demanding a retraction “regarding certain false and defamatory statements attributed to UFC® President, Dana White.” As the release stated:

“The claim that Mr. White would financially wager on the outcome of a UFC® event is outrageous in the extreme. Indeed, in the verified complaint we are presently preparing for Mr. White’s signature upon his return from Abu Dhabi, Mr. White expressly states under oath that at no time in the history of his association with the UFC® has he ever financially wagered on the outcome of a UFC® event.”

CagePotato doesn’t contest any part of this request; we hereby retract the line in question, which has since been removed from our site. Again, the caption wasn’t published with any malicious intent whatsoever, but we understand that Dana White’s reputation would be harmed if our readers actually believed that he bets on the UFC’s matches. Once again, Dana White does not bet on his own fights, and he never has. We apologize for any misunderstanding the caption may have caused.

(And then it’s back to the glory days.) 

Fresh off a unanimous decision win over Thiago Silva at UFC on FUEL 2 in Sweden, rumor has it that Alexander Gustafsson is being looked at as a potential opponent for Quinton Jackson’s much desired swan song with the UFC. No potential date or venue has been mentioned.

Although it was previously reported that Jackson would duke it out with Mauricio Rua in a rematch of their PRIDE Total Elimination 2005 fight, our fanboyish dreams were almost immediately squashed when Page was forced to undergo double knee surgery in the fallout of his UFC 144 decision loss to Ryan Bader.

(Come on, would we let you down?)

So #1 UFC heavyweight title contender Alistair Overeem failed a late March surprise drug test administered by the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) for having a testosterone to epitestosterone ratio level higher than five men of Krypton and is now scheduled to appear before the commission in one week to ask for a license to face champ Junior Dos Santos May 26th. But not to worry, Reem fans: Alistair’s manager assures that his fighter will have a “reasonable explanation” for his unreasonable levels, according to Inside MMA‘s Ron Kruck, via CagedInsider.

“I spoke with Glenn Robinson, manager of Overeem and he says he is very respectful and is hopeful that he will be granted his license and the entire team is very confident that he will be facing Junior dos Santos come May 26th,” Kruck said.

“Now Robinson wanted to make it very clear that despite other reports, Overeem did not test high for testosterone, but rather his testosterone to epitestosterone was off and he has a reasonable explanation to why that is, which he will present to the commission next Tuesday.”

(Pictured above: The REAL reason Nate Marquardt got fired.) 

When taking a look at Nate Marquardt‘s Sherdog profile, we were kind of shocked to find that it has only been a little over a year since he last fought. Perhaps it was a result of his repeated delays when signed under the BAMMA banner some 6 months ago, but it feels like it has been a long time since we’ve seen the one-time UFC middleweight title contender in action. Like Gina Carano long.

And go figure, it all began with TRT. Because it always begins with TRT. After going 2-2 in his last four UFC fights, including a most recent UD win over Dan Miller at UFC 128, Marquardt was expected to make his welterweight debut against Rick Story at the main event of UFC Live 4. Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he was pulled from the card at the last minute for elevated testosterone levels. He was subsequently ousted by the UFC and replaced by Charlie Brenneman, who went on to score the upset over Story and completely derail his hype train.

News broke in February that Marquardt had signed with Strikeforce and was expected to face Tyron Woodley. No date was set for his ever-elusive welterweight debut, likely due to the fact that the Strikeforce website developers hadn’t yet learned how to spell Marquardt and couldn’t afford to scan the Word document twice.

Well, ladies and gents, a date has finally been set for the return of “The Great.”

(Props: Pepper and Bones)

After paying his dues for the last three years, Fightville star Dustin Poirier will have his first UFC headlining appearance at UFC on FUEL 3: Korean Zombie vs. Poirier, May 15th in Fairfax, Virginia. And what better way to prepare for Chan Jung Sung than facing down an invasion of the undead? Remember Dustin, all it takes is one good shot to the head…

Fightville debuts this Friday in select theaters (NY/LA), video-on-demand (Comcast, Cox, Time Warner Cable), and digital download (iTunes, Xbox, VUDU).