(“Uh…your hands getting tired yet?”)

For our first crowd-sourced CagePotato Roundtable, we asked you to give us your wildest fight memories, and damn did you people deliver. Our tip-line was flooded with dozens of hilarious, horrifying, obviously exaggerated tales. In the interest of brevity, we cherry-picked the 12 best submissions for today’s column, which you can read below, including a gem from CageWriter‘s own Maggie Hendricks, and a heart-warming story of asshole-comeuppance from the amateur MMA circuit. But first, one that’s near and dear to my heart…

RollsRoyceGracie writes:

This was back in 1988, when I was a senior in college, in Boston. It was late and I was a little drunk, but my biggest problem was the horrible Chinese food I had for dinner earlier that was trying to make its way down the pipeline and into my drawers. I was walking in a mostly residential neighborhood, having failed to score with my date, and I was looking for a McDonalds or a gas station, but I was getting ready to settle for a dark corner behind someone’s garage. [Ed. note: Been there, bro. Been there.]

As luck would have it, two local dropouts spotted me and innately sensed my vulnerability. They hustled over to my side of the street, but I decided to keep walking and ignore them. They didn’t like being ignored. I remember them calling me “Cock” – “Hey cock, where ya headed?” “Hey cock, why ya lookin’ so sour?” I foolishly insulted them by blurting out that I didn’t have any money. “Ya think we’re gonna rob ya, cock? We’re just lookin’ for some sport.” And with that, the smaller one, a skinny kid maybe 40 pounds lighter than me (because I let myself get fat in college), punched me in the stomach. I shit myself on the spot. Loudly.

(Kazushi Sakuraba during his PRIDE glory days in 2005.)

By Elias Cepeda

What does it take for a person not to eagerly anticipate the next time one of his favorite fighters competes? When that fighter should have retired years ago due to the damage he’s endured over the years. That’s the way I’ve feel each time Kazushi Sakuraba gets a new match — not with excitement, but with genuine concern for his well-being. The legendary “Gracie Hunter” may be the best MMA fighter the warrior-nation of Japan has ever produced, but he’s lost four fights in a row, hasn’t won a bout since 2009, and has suffered enough beatings for 12 lifetimes. (This guy knows what I’m talking about.)

What makes Saku’s situation worse is that so many of his early losses were the result of savage abuse at the hands of much larger opponents (Wanderlei Silva, Mirko Cro Cop, Ricardo Arona, etc.), leaving him completely broken down at the age of 42. Sakuraba competed just once in 2011 — getting choked out at Dream 17 by unheralded Brazilian prospect Yan Cabral — and has yet to fight this year, while venturing back into pro wrestling just to stay active.

It is now being reported that Sakuraba will return to the ring at Dream’s next event, for a welterweight match against Shinya Aoki. If there’s a silver lining to rolling out Saku for another pay day, it’s that Aoki is foremost a grappler like Sakuraba, so it’s possible that we could see a technical wrestling and Jiu Jitsu match with minimal blunt strikes hitting the legend. Also, Bloody Elbow’s Anton Tabuena is reporting that the fight, now signed according to him, could be Sakuraba’s final MMA appearance.

(Never go up against a thespian when death is on the line.)

According to new reports, Strikeforce middleweight champ Luke Rockhold will defend his belt at Strikeforce’s July 14th event in Portland, where he’ll face off against former title contender/video-parodist Tim Kennedy.

Luke Rockhold has won his last eight fights, most recently beating the crap out of Keith Jardine in a somewhat farcical title defense in January. Kennedy has won his last two bouts under the Strikeforce banner, but hasn’t competed since a unanimous decision win over Robbie Lawler in July 2011. Rockhold and Kennedy were briefly scheduled to face each other last year before Rockhold pulled out of the matchup, and were matched up again earlier this year before Tim had to withdraw due to injury, so this one’s been a long time coming. Can the Special Forces sniper shock Rockhold and take that belt?

Also on the card…

(Like this, Stone Cold?)

MMA Weekly is reporting that former Strikeforce light heavyweight champion Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal has signed with MMA promotion Bellator Fighting Championships and professional wrestling organization Total Nonstop Action Wrestling.

Lawal was fired from Strikeforce after testing positive for a banned steroid and is currently serving out a nine-month suspension from the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Because of that suspension, Lawal will have to wait to be able to compete under the Bellator banner — but since he’s also signed with TNA, he can conceivably begin making some money much sooner since professional wrestling is not regulated as a competitive sport by athletic commissions. Lawal signing with both organizations fuels rumors that Bellator and TNA  — both of which air on Viacom-owned television channels and, starting in 2013, will appear on Spike TV — will somehow collaborate or cross-promote.

(The truth is, Ronda walked into the gym and Dominick’s knees buckled on their own. / Photo via @RondaRousey)

In light of the sly gamesmanship in that recent Urijah Faber video, UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz went on MMAFighting’s The MMA (After) Hour to explain how his knee injury came about, and that it wasn’t the result of being beat up by a girl. Here’s what he had to say, as transcribed by MMAMania:

“I was in training camp, I had just gotten done with TUF, and I usually get done about 11. I got to practice at 11:30 and I was sparring that day with kickboxing and takedowns and a guy got behind me in a scramble and he went for a trip, the trip, his hips went in on my knee and it just buckled my knee right then and there. I sat out the rest of the round, threw some ice on my knee, it was pretty painful. I was just kind of hoping for the best to be honest. I was hoping and praying that it was nothing crazy because it was a very, very loud pop. I kind of went into denial mode for the rest of that day saying ‘Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine.’ So I took some ibuprofen and that night I went in to get my normal workout in and I go to move around and get my shadowboxing going to warm up and me knee just pops right out. And I just knew right then and there that I needed to go get an MRI and get this checked out because me knee wasn’t stable and it kind of felt like I was walking on ice. I went in and got an MRI that day and got the bad results, the bad news…

Just to shut down some rumors that Faber thinks is funny to start and makes jokes about an Olympic bronze medalist and her taking out my knees. To me it’s not really funny, it’s just another way to know, for the world to know why me and Faber don’t get along. I wasn’t training with her at all. I brought her in to help my team on TUF…

(Shirt image via TrauMMACombat.com)

In honor of Chan Sung Jung‘s upcoming fight against Dustin Poirier at UFC on FUEL 3 on Tuesday, TrauMMA Combat Apparel has released a brand-new “Korean Zombie” t-shirt that you can buy right here for $29.99. But we know that thirty bucks is hard to come by in this economy, so how ’bout we give you a chance to win one for free?

You know how this works: Submit your prediction for the Zombie vs. Poirier main event in the comments section below by Monday night at midnight ET, including the winner, method of victory, and time/round of stoppage (if applicable). No need to include judges’ scores if you’re predicting a decision, but for the purposes of a tie-breaker, please include which end-of-night bonus you think the fight will win, if you think it’ll be bonus-worthy. Your entry should look like this…

Jung def. Poirier via split-decision [Fight of the Night]
or
Poirier def. Jung via submission (triangle choke), 3:54 of round 2 [Submission of the Night]
or
Jung def. Poirier via TKO, 1:59 of round 3 [no bonus]

And there’s just one more twist…

(The ouchie comes at the 1:56 mark.)

In case you haven’t been keeping up with The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil — and sure, I’m one of those people — Team Wanderlei finally got its first victory on Sunday’s episode, after losing the first five quarterfinal matches to Team Vitor. Featherweight Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra put the Axe-Murderers on the board with a first-round submission win over Anistavio “Gasparzinho” Medeiros de Figueiredo, who proved why it’s rarely a good idea to slam your way out of an armbar. Jason will now meet Hugo “Wolverine” Viana in the featherweight semis.

The arm-snappage led to a shouting match between the coaches, which you can check out after the jump. If you understand Portuguese, please enlighten us with a summary…

(The quiet confidence that comes from knowing that, even if you lost at the polls, you could still easily beat your opponent up if you needed to. | Photo via Lytle For Indiana)

Retired UFC star Chris Lytle turned to politics a month after his final fight — a submission win over former #1 contender Dan Hardy — and last night that dream, as Jon Anik might say, ended. Lytle came in second in the three-candidate Republican Primary race for Indiana’s 28th Senate District.

Mike Crider earned the nomination with 41% of the vote, to Lytle’s 30%. Last night Lytle tweeted his concession,“Almost. I finished 2nd. It was a good fight.”

For a first-time political candidate, it absolutely was. And even if the self-described “constitutional conservative,” never attains elected office, at least he can say he tapped out someone that the greatest welterweight in history couldn’t finish, at the end of a wildly entertaining fight career that saw him earn more end-of-of-night bonuses than anybody in UFC history. Also, we got to see him a suit, so there’s that.

Since 1999, we’ve seen Lytle as a world-class fighter, a fireman, and a political hopeful. (This guy raises his beer to you, buddy.) We wish Lights Out the best in whatever he puts his hands to next.

-Elias Cepeda

(The key to defeating Marcus Jones? A few drops of barbecue sauce on your glove, believe it or not.) 

Ever since dropping a unanimous decision in a snorefest to Cheick Kongo at UFC 137, a loss that snapped a five fight win streak that included vicious (T)KO victories over Christian Morecraft, Tim Hague, and Kimbo Slice, TUF 10 veteran Matt Mitrione has been M.I.A. He hasn’t returned any of our phone calls, and he damn sure hasn’t left us any messages, so we just assumed he was taking a really long vacation on a mysterious, remote island that had yet to develop cell phone technology…like Australia. Because surely no one would willingly ignore us, right? RIGHT?!

…

Ahem. Well, most of you will be happy to know that “Meathead” will be returning to action at UFC on FOX 4 against Rob Broughton. Who is Rob Broughton, you ask? He would be the British gentlemen with the, let’s call it “Fedorian” physique, who is currently 1-2 in the octagon. After scoring a debut victory (via third round rear-naked choke) over a juiced up Vinicius Quieroz, “The Bear” has dropped a pair of unanimous decision victories to Travis Browne and Philip De Fries at UFC 135 and UFC 138, respectively. He also holds notable victories over Neil Grove (via decision), Robert Berry (via TKO), and James Thompson (via WTFdoyouthink).

Contain your excitement. CONTAIN IT.

UFC on FOX 4 goes down from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California on August 4th.

Since we kind of have to ask this, who you got?

-J. Jones

(We’re sorry, Tom, but it’s just not the same. Photo courtesy of MMAMania.)

Just a couple of hours ago, the UFC held a press conference in Shaw Court, Alberta, Canada, to promote UFC 149: Jose Aldo vs. Some Guy (it’s a joke, take it easy), which is expected to transpire on July 21st from Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Surprisingly absent from the conference was that of UFC President Dana White, who was in turn replaced by Director of Operations for UFC Canada, Tom Wright. Also absent was a hearty supply of French fries and gravy for the fighters involved, which was a real shame in our opinion.

In the co-main event of the evening, the most hated wanted man in the middleweight division, Michael Bisping, will square off against hard nosed slugger Tim Boetsch. Also expected for UFC 149 will be Antonio Rodrigo’s Nogueria’s return to the octagon for the first time since Frank Mir went all Paul Harris on his arm, the difference between their UFC 140 scrap and the average Paul Harris fight being that Nog waited until after Mir broke his arm to tap, not the other way around. Anyway, Big Nog will be squaring off against the inconsistent but always dangerous Cheick Kongo, who is coming off a knockout loss at the hands of Mark Hunt at UFC 144.

Check out the full video and lineup after the jump. 

(In defense of Dana’s flip flop, who could say no to that face?)

By Josh Hutchinson

As some of you may remember, I recently attempted to make a case for why Alistair Overeem vs. Junior Dos Santos had to happen at UFC 146, testosterone-levels be damned. And though that fight didn’t quite pan out, we’ll instead be treated to an even better fight that evening in Frank Mir vs. Junior Dos Santos (assuming that no other weird shit happens beforehand). That’s right, I said even better. “But you just tried telling us why the UFC needs to keep Overeem vs. Dos Santos,” I hear you screaming. To that extent I have two retorts. The first being that apparently my hypocrisy knows no bounds. The second being that a quick look at Frank Mir vs. any of the other potential replacements makes the case loud and clear. Take for instance the man that Mir is officially replacing…

Alistair Overeem

Yes, Overeem and Dos Santos would have been an epic slugfest, with a near-guarantee of someone being knocked stupid, but if you look at the quality of opponents the two men have faced in recent years, the nod clearly goes to Mir. Since moving up to heavyweight full time, Overeem has compiled a record of 12-1-1, which while sounding impressive, is actually rather deceiving. The majority of the fighters he beat in those twelve wins resemble less of a contender list, and more of a “MMA Fighters: Where Are They Now?” list. I of course am talking about guys like Paul Buentello, Tony Sylvester, James Thompson, Brett Rogers, you get the point. Frank Mir on the other hand, has been wading through the UFC’s heavyweight elites since UFC 34 back in 2001, picking up big name wins like Tim Sylvia (before he was a joke), Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (2x), Cheick Kongo, and others. Besides there is still a great chance of seeing someone get knocked the hell out. We all know Dos Santos likes to do it, and if you ask guys like Cro Cop and the aforementioned Nogueria, Mir likes to dabble as well.

(Former featherweight champion Urijah Faber will get another crack at the bantamweight title.)

UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz may be out of his UFC 148 fight with Urijah Faber on July 7th, but “The California Kid” will still get a title bout that night, according to UFC President Dana White. “So what’s going to happen is Urijah Faber will, he’s going to fight still. He’s going to fight on the same card. Now, I’m looking for the right opponent. The guy who deserves this shot at Urijah Faber,” White said on Tuesday’s episode of UFC Tonight, according to MMA Weekly.

Faber, who was also interviewed on UFC Tonight, said he imagines that either Renan Barao, Ivan Menjivar or Michael McDonald will get a crack at him but does not know for certain. Barao is riding a seven-year win streak and is currently slated to face Menjivar at UFC 148. McDonald knocked out former champion Miguel Torres last month.

Talk about stepping in a turd and turning it into gold. Word broke late last night that Yoshihiro Akiyama suffered an undisclosed injury that has forced him out of his upcoming UFC 149 bout with Thiago Alves. To say that the MMA blogosphere entered a brief yet hysterical state of mourning upon hearing this news would be an understatement…until we found out that Afghanistan-born power puncher Siyar Bahadurzada would be stepping in as his replacement. Then there was much rejoicing.

Bahadurzada is coming off a quick and brutal first round knockout of Paulo Thiago at UFC on FUEL 2, the first stoppage loss of Thiago’s career. The win instantly put the welterweight division on notice, and a victory over Alves would further cement Bahadurzada’s status amongst the division’s elite. To be fair, Alves has been struggling a bit as of late, sandwiching a first round submission win over Papy Abedi at UFC 138 between a decision loss to Rick Story at UFC 130 and a most recent submission loss to Martin Kampmann at UFC on FX 2. Despite the fact that “Pitbull” seemed on his way to a clear cut decision victory in that fight, an ill-timed takedown at the end of the third round provided Kampmann all the leeway he would need to snatch up a fight-ending guillotine choke.

Alves should not have to fear the submission prowess of Bahadurzada coming into this one, as two of his four losses have come by way of submission — the most recent of which was a first round heel hook to Jorge Santiago at Sengoku – Sixth Battle back in 2008. What we’re saying is, expect a brawl, Potato Nation, because what appeared to be a decent scrap at first glance has now been updated to an early candidate for Fight of the Night and/or Knockout of the Night.

Speaking of injury replacements…

In the latest installment of MMA: Inside the Cage, Casey and Cyrus discuss Hector Lombard’s UFC signing, the new beef between MFC and Bellator, and the ongoing Nick Diaz vs. NSAC saga, before presenting the week’s best batch of knockouts and an exclusive interview with the ever-charming Bas Rutten. Part 2 of the show is after the jump, which features an analysis of Invicta’s debut show plus the must-see slugfest between Kaitlin Young and Leslie Smith.

Check it out and support our good friends at MMA:ITC, who have managed to put together a consistently entertaining half-hour MMA show that isn’t based on a bunch of jerkoffs yelling at each other. If you dig it, follow ‘em on Facebook and Twitter.

(“It’s okay, boy. Doesn’t really look like Johnny Cash, but you did the best you could.” / Photo via CageWriter)

By Jason Moles

What was supposed to be a monumental night for Alan Belcher at UFC 100, filled with celebration and grandeur, turned out to be more of a grand illusion thanks to the gross incompetence of the judges. Belcher’s controversial split-decision loss to then-UFC newcomer Yoshihiro Akiyama still leaves a sour taste in the mouth of many who recall Bruce Buffer’s reading of the scorecards. That sweaty July night, although only three years ago, feels like an eternity ago when you consider all that the Biloxi, Mississippi native has endured over the past few years. From that memorable fight to unforeseeable medical threats and his surge to the top of the middleweight division, the burden-laden path has proved Belcher both remarkable and resilient.

Leading up to the historical UFC 100 pay-per-view, you heard a lot of chatter about “Sexyama” losing only once in fifteen professional fights. Since then, the Japanese veteran has been falling in a downward spiral, going o-4 in the cage. Belcher on the other hand, hasn’t looked back, earning four consecutive stoppage victories and two end-of-night bonuses. Suffice it to say that it’s more than a coincidence that they’ve been heading in opposite directions since their paths crossed. It’s just a shame no one called the cops to report the robbery that night.

If you saw the Fight of the Night bout between Akiyama and “The Talent” then you know the fight was close, but not that close. “He got me down a couple of times, but I swept him just as many times as he took me down,” Belcher said after the fight. “I tried for submissions; I think he only hit me a few times on the ground. I landed leg kick after leg kick over and over and over.”

(WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SPRAY TAN?!) 

Just three days ago, Alan Belcher was fed to the lions. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, but like those who choose to stay in Omelas, the Zuffa head-honchos knew that a sacrifice had to be made for the good of the community. For if the insatiable beast known as “Toquinho” was not fed his daily quotient of appendages, theirs would surely be next. So they sent forth the only American brave enough to tattoo Kim Jong-il on his arm to narfle the Garthok, so to speak. But like the mighty Beldar Conehead before him, Alan Belcher emerged from the monstrosity’s repugnant dwelling unscathed, and earned a lifetime supply of free wishes for doing so.

At least that’s how “The Talent” sees it, because when asked on who he’d like to face next (if a title shot was out of the question, of course) Belcher was rather adamant about his options, telling the following to BloodyElbow’s Steph Daniels:

I think a fight with Michael Bisping makes a lot of sense. I mean, Boetsch looks like a beast at 185, and I’ve got to admit, he looks pretty scary. The other guys in the division, in my mind, I’ve already beat them so many times, and I know everything about them, and I know they don’t have anything really threatening. Boetsch has got some pretty powerful tools, and is a pretty scary dude.

Bisping, of course, is getting to be a professional point fighter, and he’s kind of hard to beat like that. That fight would be a nice payday, and a big fight for the media, so I’m kind of leaning towards that one. It would make sense, and the fans would love it. I can almost feel the energy I would get from the fans if I put him to sleep.

In case you’re keeping track, Belcher has now joined a list of fighters who have called out the British “point fighter” that includes Mark Munoz, Brian Stann, Tim Boetsch (who was successful in doing so), and Jorge Rivera (who was less than successful).

Join us after the jump for much more from the interview. 

(Good gravy. This is neck-and-neck with the glasses/heels shot for greatest Arianny Celeste photo of all time. Props to rsvlts.com for the scans and MMAMania for the find.)

Arianny Celeste has been doing her part to keep the international men’s magazine industry alive, posing for an absurdly hot pictorial in this month’s edition of FHM Philippines. Check out the veteran UFC ring girl‘s latest photo-highlights in the gallery below, and let us know what you think…

(Unfortunately, there is still no word on the mysterious disappearance of Heidi Androl. Sad.)   

It looks like the speculations that arose in the aftermath of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Tate had some truth behind it, because it has been reported that newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey will defend her title against inaugural bantamweight champ Sarah Kaufman. Though no specific date or location has been mentioned, the Strikeforce brass are hoping to have these two throw down sometime in August, and probably in either Nevada or California, as the majority of Strikeforce’s recent cards have been held in those locations.

Rumors of a potential clash between Rousey and Kaufman first started following the pair’s respective wins over Miesha Tate and Alexis Davis on March 13th. “Rowdy” took the considerably easier path to victory, snatching up her fifth consecutive first round armbar in typically gruesome fashion over Tate, whereas Kaufman chose to slug it out with Davis for three rounds in what was one of the most exciting brawls of the year, bar none, and brought home a majority decision victory.

Although Kaufman has a considerable experience and striking advantage over Rousey, her lone loss in sixteen fights has come by way of armbar (to Marloes Coenen in their October 2010 title fight), so expect her to be a considerable underdog coming into this one. As with any fight against Rousey, Kaufman’s only chance will lie in her ability to sprawl-and-brawl with the Olympic judoka, or God forbid take her out of the first round. Then again, we hear Rousey is taking out champions in the men’s division nowadays, so perhaps Kaufman is already dead in the water.

Full fight videos of Kaufman/Davis and Rousey/Tate await you after the jump. 

(“You break my high-score on Frogger? I break *you*.”)

We’re going to do something a little different for this week’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable. Instead of listening to us blowhards pontificate, we’re going to let you guys run the show. The topic is: “What was the most memorable fight you’ve ever been in?”

It could be your first schoolyard scrap, a wild bar brawl when you were old enough to know better, or your first/greatest experience with sanctioned competition. Maybe a simple Halloween visit to Denny’s ended with you having to throw a chair at a bitch. Maybe you insulted Bas Rutten’s wife a few years back and have walked with a limp ever since. As long as your story is entertaining, we’d love to hear it.

Send your stories to tips@cagepotato.com by this Thursday night at midnight ET. We’ll pick a handful of the best ones and run ‘em on Friday. Please let us know if you don’t want us to print your names; we know some of you have outstanding warrants. Thanks guys!

Urijah Faber is a smooth media operator. After so many years being at the top of the sport, the “California Kid” knows how to handle himself in the public eye and promote himself.

Watch the above video for a case in point. Yesterday it was announced that bantamweight champ Dominick Cruz had torn his ACL and would be out of his July rubber match with Faber. In this reaction video released by Faber, he, almost at once, empathizes with the injured Cruz, dryly starts a rumor that a woman injured the champ, calls for an interim title bout between himself and somebody else, and plugs his new book. Hell, Faber even manages to offer his unsolicited ranking of the top three guys that deserve to fight him for the interim title.

(How ignorant we were.) 

Chances are, if Chael Sonnen is not training for an upcoming fight or doing battle inside the octagon itself, he is sitting down in front of a camera and ranting about whatever is on his mind, be it Anderson Silva or the irresponsibility of Canadian reporters. As far as he’s concerned, these rants are meant to provide his audience with a higher understanding of the world around them, and are in the general public’s better interest. Thankfully, Sonnen was able to fight off the schizophrenia that will inevitably overtake his brain for long enough to jot down a collection of these rants into a “self help” book subtly titled “The Voice of Reason.” To say that it is the greatest collection of words and sentences ever committed to paper would be an understatement, so Sonnen opts to call it “A V.I.P pass to enlightenment” instead.

But just in case you didn’t pick up “The Voice of Reason” at your nearest bookstore (or in today’s society, on your Kindle), Sonnen recently locked himself in a dark and dreary basement to elaborate on everything from John McCain’s attempt to crush MMA before it got its sea legs to the conspiracies behind Area 51 and professional wrestling. Are these three things somehow related? Is Chael Sonnen some rogue government agent who has access to this kind of information? Is the Oregonian truly the UFC middleweight champion of the world, and we just don’t know it yet? To put it simply; no, maybe, and DUH.

Join us after the jump for the videos. 

(Upkick me once, shame on you. Upkick me twice, shame on me. Upkick me six times…seriously, bro?)

From Nate Diaz‘s hilarious taunts to Lavar Johnson‘s brutalization of Pat Barry, here are the best moments from Saturday night’s UFC card in animated GIF form. Props to IronForgesIron, the UG, and TheBigLead. More good stuff after the jump.

(Sheldon Silver: Son of a bitch.)

You know, there was a time when we believed that an online petition could change the world. Ah, the naivete of youth. But despite years of UFC lobbying efforts and fan support, MMA is still at square one when it comes to regulation in New York State. In what has become an annual letdown, Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver — who has never been an ally of the sport — determined during a closed-door meeting yesterday that a bill seeking to legalize MMA in New York didn’t have enough support to pass. According to a New York Daily News report, the circumstances seemed profoundly shady:

The decision not to bring the bill to the floor helped highlight a growing split between younger members of the Assembly and older lawmakers, insiders said. “[Silver] is still siding with a dwindling number of aging veterans,” one source in the room griped.

The source said after eight people had spoken in favor of legalizing MMA and eight against, Silver called on members who don’t support the bill to raise their hands. About 25 members did. Then he asked for a show of hands of those who support it before saying that it looked even, the source said. 

An upstate member who supports the measure complained it didn’t look even to her, the source said…The speaker took another informal vote, with 25 again raising their hands against. The “ayes” seemingly had more than 60, the source said.

Silver then said others had expressed opposition privately and that the votes weren’t there to move the bill.

(Skip to the 2:20 mark if you want to watch your dad get his ass kicked.)

Good afternoon, Potato Nation. How’s your Monday going? Well, it’s about to get even worse, because everyone’s favorite kilt-wearing former UFC welterweight, Marcus Davis, nearly met his maker this past weekend, and since we had to sit through it, so shall you. After opting out of his Zuffa contract the hard way at UFC 125, “The Irish Hand Grenade” would go 3-1 in various promotions before facing off against Mark Casserly in a kickboxing match.

Now, Davis has suffered some of the most brutal knockouts in the history of the sport (*cough* Ben Saunders *cough*), but this may be the cherry on the blood flavored ice cream sundae. We can’t remember the last time that a kick turned its recipient into a human rocking chair, but we’ll remember this KO for years to come, that’s for sure. Seriously, it’s like that scene in Bad Santa when the midget from Me, Myself, and Irene gets punched in the nuts and falls head over heels, except not nearly as hilarious.

We’re not doctors, but we think this might be the fight that prompts Davis to call it a career. As you can see, it took him more than a few minutes before he was able to regain his composure, and sometimes that is all it takes for a fighter to reconsider his line of work, especially at Davis’ age. Regardless of the decision he may or not make within the next couple weeks, we’d like to take a moment here at CP to thank Davis for his contributions to the sport…

…Alrighty then, now join us after the jump to watch another ferocious head-kick KO from this past weekend, courtesy of our friends over at MiddleEasy. Don’t blink, because it happens just over five seconds into the fight.

(UFC bantamweight Dominick Cruz | Scott Hirano Low Kick)

Well, that sucks. Dana White has tweeted that Dominick Cruz is out of his UFC 148 title defense against TUF 15 opposing coach and arch nemesis Urijah Faber because of a torn ACL. “It’s true Cruz blew his ACL. Stay tuned for more info” White tweeted just a few minutes ago.

(Remember when this happened? Yup. It was kinda awesome)

We’ve known for some time now that Dan Henderson will get the next chance to dethrone young phenom 205 pound UFC champ Jon Jones, and now we have an idea of when that will happen. “On Thursday afternoon, UFC president Dana White said that the organization was targeting an early September date for the UFC light-heavyweight champion’s next title defense, likely on Labor Day weekend,” MMA Fighting’s Mike Chiappetta reports.

“The UFC currently has no September 1 show on its official schedule, but if and when it gets added, future Hall of Famer Dan Henderson is on deck in the challenger’s role.”

Details and bad-ass highlight videos after the jump.

(And for my next trick, I will enter a state of comatose using only a roided man’s fists and sheer determination.) 

On the heels of a devastating one-punch knockout at the hands of Muhammed Lawal in September, it looks like Roger Gracie will make his moderately-anticipated middleweight debut at an upcoming Strikeforce event in July. Rejoice. Across the cage from the Jiu-Jitsu phenom will be none other than UFC veteran and member of the undead army, Keith “The Dean of Mean” Johnson Jardine. Jardine has had a rough run of things as of late, dropping six of his last nine including a recent ill-fated title bid against Luke Rockhold in January.

But a matchup with Gracie is one that Jardine stands a better chance of winning than any fight in recent memory, believe it or not. Jardine has never been submitted in professional competition, and Gracie’s complete lack of the kind of striking game that has felled Jardine in the past might just make for a victory over a big name that has eluded “The Dean” since his UFC 89 split-decision win over Brandon Vera. In fact, the closest Jardine has even come to scoring an upset victory in recent years was his Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Daley performance that saw him fight to a majority draw with the heavily favored Gegard Mousasi.

Though it was previously reported that Gracie was on his way up to the UFC, those rumors were quickly squashed by UFC President Dana White, who stated, “[expletive] that [expletive] you [expletive] [expletive] Samuel L. Jackson [expletive] smartphone [expletive] hotspacho [expletive].” Something like that. *

In other fight booking news…

(Thompson vs. Lashley. Come for the nut shots, stay for Phil Baroni’s childlike enthusiasm behind the mic. All praises be to IronForgesIron for the vids.)

You know, maybe it’s due to the fact that our expectations were so low, but other than a few hiccups along the way (one of which involved the most ridiculously over-the-top celebrations you will ever see), Super Fight League’s third event was actually a mildly entertaining affair. Who would’ve thought such a thing would be possible without the graceful presence of Bob Sapp? Although SFL’s production team still needs to get their shit together and stop cutting to random angles from halfway across the stadium, SFL 3 featured more than a fair share of exciting finishes, topped off by an at times groggy but overall solid main event clash between Bobby Lashley and James Thompson.

But before we get to the main event, lets talk about the very first fight of the night: a middleweight throwdown between Dream and Bellator veteran Zelg Galesic and former WEC light heavyweight champion Doug “The Rhino” Marshall, whose mere appearance on the card was enough to bring this “writer” back to the days of yore. Unfortunately for Marshall, the trip down memory lane was cut short by a beautiful flying knee that turned his lights off just 34 seconds into the fight. Nostalgia is a bitch, ain’t it?

That video, along with a video of the most insane post fight celebration in MMA history and more, awaits you after the jump.

By Elias Cepeda

Props: MMAMania

As expected, it was a great idea to pit two heavyweight knock out artists against one another for the Fox audience. Lavar Johnson and Pat Barry swung for the fences and beat the tar out of each other for almost a whole round before Johnson stopped Barry with punches.

“Big” secured a $65,000 KO of the night bonus with the beating. Johnson now has two consecutive entertaining UFC wins under his belt, after back to back Strikeforce submission losses. He’ll likely get at least a couple more style-friendly sluggers to duke it out with from the UFC since he’s performed so well against them thus far.

Barry’s situation may be a little more complicated. The former K-1 fighter always brings it in his fights, is fan-friendly and has some big wins on his resume. But he’s also now lost three out of his last four fights and five out of his last eight. One would imagine he’ll get at least some more fights from the UFC given that he won his prior fight and how exciting he was, even in defeat, against Johnson.

IQ or sperm count? No, I mean FUCK YOU!

According to Dana White and Nate Diaz himself, the newly declared #1 contender for the light-weight division stated at the UFC on FOX post-fight press conference that he will wait for the winner of the pending Ben Henderson VS Frankie Edgar bout. Just prior to the Jim Miller VS Nate Diaz contest, the rumor mill began to swirl that Edgar had injured his nose in training and the upcoming rematch with BenDo was going to get pushed back until later this year in the September-November area. If that is the case, Diaz is going to be sitting for the next several months.

According to the official UFC twitter account:
“Dana says Diaz will wait for the title shot. He had the option to fight Pettis first if he wanted to stay busy but it was never mandated.”

Fair enough, I suppose, but if Nate is going to wait until after the scheduled championship rematch and then linger until the winner heals, we are conservatively looking at March of 2013 or later before he competes again. That is a pretty long lay-off for a competitor that had 4 fights in 2011. Not only did he compete 4 times last year, he mixed a change of weight-class in between the two. Since being dominated by Rory MacDonald, Diaz has destroyed Takanori Gomi, Donald Cerrone and Jim Miller while raking in 2 “submission of the night” bonuses plus a “fight of the night” check as well.