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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

May, 2012

BREAKING: Jon Jones Arrested for DUI in Binghamton, NY *UPDATED*


I’m not touching this one. *Innocently whistles* *Walks Away* Props to reader Johnnyozone22 for the tip.

This doesn’t look good, folks. Initially reported by TMZ.com and confirmed by Josh Gross, UFC Light-Heavyweight champion Jon Jones has been arrested in Binghamton, New York on DUI charges after totaling his Bentley. From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Jones was involved in an accident at around 5:00 AM in Binghamton, NY. We’re told the car — which Jones crashed into a pole — was totaled and cops arrested Jones on the scene for DUI.

According to our sources, Jones was taken into custody by Broome County Sheriff and bailed out a few hours later … by his mom. Jones is from nearby Ithaca.

Fortunately for Jones, it appears that he only suffered minor injuries, and it does not appear that anyone else was injured from this accident. It is unclear whether or not there were any passengers in the car at the time of the accident.

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TUF 15 Live Episode 11 Recap

By Elias Cepeda

We’ve got two quarter final match ups today so let’s jump right in. From Coach Dominick Cruz’ team we have Vinc Pichel taking on Coach Urijah Faber’s Chris Saunders. After that, Team Faber teammates Al Iaquinta and Andy Ogle lock up. At the end of the episode, injured Cruz’ replacement to face Faber at UFC 148 for the interim bantamweight title will also be announced.

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WTF of the Day: Headcase Dan Quinn Being Investigated for Death Threats Toward Dana White

(Video: TMZ.com. Props to reader Jeff Willson–Salem Oregon–for the tip)

If you haven’t followed Dan Quinn‘s insanity over the years, you’ve been missing out. The man may very well be MMA’s most tortured mind, and that’s seriously saying something. Things started off simply enough with him issuing YouTube challenges to the UFC’s best, bragging about his hands and his accomplishments in college football. Then he, along with Diego Sanchez, discovered the healing power of Stevia, nature’s answer to Sweet’N Low

For years he’s been preaching the Stevia gospel, claiming it ‘melted a tumor’ out of Octagon girl Ali Sonoma, but recently things have taken a turn for the (more) bizarre. He’s posted conversations with a mysterious caller who loosely claims affiliation with both the UFC and some sort of global power/secret society, offering him hush money and power in exchange for his silence. Another recent YouTube video of a conversation with police regarding threats of violence toward a veterinarian has since been deleted.

Things get crazier after the jump…

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“Strikeforce: Barnett vs Cormier” Weigh-In Results & Video


(Video via YouTube.com/AllElbows)

It may have lost some steam along the way, but the Heavyweight Grand Prix, Strikeforce’s little engine that could, is pulling into the station this evening. Tournament finalists Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett will slug it out to decide who rules the now-defunct Strikeforce Heavyweight division and get their face plastered on one of those cheesy motivational office posters. Cormier, the two-time Olympian, tipped the scales at 238lbs; his opponent, Josh Barnett, will enjoy a 10lb advantage when they climb into the cage. Those of you ballsy enough to bet “other” as the tournament winner way back in January ’11 are on the verge of a mega-payout this evening.

Strikeforce Lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez will defend his title in a rubbermatch against Josh Thompson. Rumors swirled online that a serious knee injury would sideline “The Punk” from tonight’s bout, but he was able-bodied enough to step up on the scale. Both men tallied a weight of 153lbs and will look to settle the score in San Jose.

We’re liveblogging the crap out of this thing tonight, so join us back here for the festivities.

Full weigh-in results are after the jump.

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Friday Link Dump: Matt Hughes’s Latest Conquest, Bob Sapp’s Latest Humiliation, Three-Way MMA Insanity + More


(Look, he killed that thing fair and square, and whatever he decides to do with it is his business. / Props: The UG)

- UFC 146 Heavyweights Predict Strikeforce Grand Prix Final (Fightline)

Bob Sapp Continues to Find New Ways to Embarrass Himself (BleacherReport/MMA)

Three Guys Fighting MMA Inside a Pit Makes No Sense, But We Still Have Video of It (MiddleEasy)

Junior dos Santos, Frank Mir, and the Video Game Showdown That Wasn’t (MMAFighting)

- ‘Inside the Cage’ Unscripted #2: Casey and Cyrus Interview Pro Wrestling Legend Ricky Morton (MMAInsideTheCageTV)

A Weird and Nasty Shin Break During a Muay Thai Fight (BloodyElbow)

Fighter Babe Lauren Sugihara Returns to the Ring Tomorrow (Babes of MMA)

- The All-New “F*ck You” Pizza From Pizza Hut (WorldWideInterweb)

- Huey Lewis Is Not “Punk,” You Idiots (HolyTaco)

- The 7 Most Comfortable Cars to Have Sex In (MadeMan)

Sugar Makes You Stupid (MensFitness)

Diablo 3′s Botched Launch: 3 Reasons Gamers Should Care (GameFront)

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Lamb to the Slaughter: Cody McKenzie vs. Chad Mendes Booked for UFC 148 in July


(You have no idea how right you are.) 

What in the name of Science is this bullshit? Fresh off a victory over Marcus LeVesseur at UFC on FUEL 3, it has been announced that the inventor of the deadliest guillotine choke known to man, TUF 12 veteran Cody McKenzie, will be making his featherweight debut at UFC 148, which transpires from the MGM Grand Garden Casino in Las Vegas on July 7th. Welcoming him to 145 lbs will be…Chad Mendes? Didn’t he just fight JOSE F’ING ALDO FOR THE F’ING TITLE?! Did McKenzie piss off Dana White, or is this Karma’s way of punishing him for making Josh Koscheck look like even more of a clown on the set of TUF 10? If it’s the latter, then Karma is a dick. A high school Letterman jacket wearing, clove cigarette smoking, man ass motorboating dick.

As we all know, McKenzie has won 11 of his 13 professional victories by way of his signature vice-grip like submission, aptly dubbed “The McKenzietine,” which has earned him a spot amongst the greatest one-trick ponies of all time. Mendes, on the other hand, has never been submitted, and is coming off the first blemish of his career, which came via brutal first round knockout to Aldo. Why it was decided that these two should face off is nothing short of baffling.

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Lulz of the Day: Mayhem Miller Calls C.B. Dollaway a “Fart-Face,” Promises to “Send Him Packing” at UFC 146


(A class act since the day he was born, Dolloway always takes time out of his day to pose for photos with his adoring fans.) 

When I first came across this tidbit of hilarity that Jason Miller told UFC.com during a recent interview, I considering starting this article with some hackneyed statement like “You gotta love Jason Miller,” or “Leave it to Mayhem to-insert stupid sentence here.” But then I paused for a moment, and decided to rewatch his match with Michael Bisping at the TUF 14 Finale. When it was airing live, I happened to be in staying in Boston at a friend’s house, and missed the fight due to an intensely heated game of beer pong that followed an Animals as Leaders concert we had just attended.

After the game had finished, I quickly shuffled into the living room, wide eyed and silently praying to be greeted by the image of Bisping’s unconscious, purple face. But I was too late. The broadcast had ended. I turned to another buddy of mine, and like a coma patient (or a victim of an H-bomb) being awoken for the first time, I found myself asking, “What happened?” He looked up at me, bitter disappointment in his eyes, and said, “I’m not really sure, but it was really sad. Like watching a rabbit die in slow motion.”

The point is, after talking up such a storm and subsequently getting his ass taken to the cleaners by “The Count,” Miller has more than likely earned the ire of at least a few dozen of you. Kind of like that poor Danga bastard. And once again, it’s do or die time for Mayhem, and here he is, falling back on his old habits. I’m not trying to sound negative, because I think the guy is a pretty entertaining fellow. I just wonder if he’s going to regret saying things like this again:

I just look at who he’s fought in the past, and I look at — you know — I look at who he’s fought in the past, and how I match up with them, and I know that… this should be an easy night for me. On top of that, I trained my ass off. I’m not gonna make this a personal thing with the guy, but at the same time, I’m not gonna pretend to respect him.

There’s a stark contrast between me and him. You can see that I’m mentally tough, and I’m a bit of a masochist, so I’ll take the abuse, and go through it. When the going gets tough, this guy quits, and I’m gonna make him quit. I’m going to knock his fart-face off, and I’m going to send him packing. There’s no way around it.

Ah fuck it, I’m back on the bandwagon.

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UFC 146 Shakeup: Is the New Heavyweight Lineup Better, Worse, or Much Worse?


(Let’s be honest, you’d pay to watch these three knuckleheads do *anything*.)

As Danga pointed out yesterday, injuries and surprise drug tests have led to all five of UFC 146‘s main card bouts being altered since they were first announced, which puts “Dos Santos vs. Mir” right up there with MMA’s most cursed events of all time. But let’s be fair — the UFC originally promised us ten aggressive heavyweights bashing the hell out of each other, and they’re still giving us just that. So is UFC 146 a rag-tag bunch of scab-fights, or a compelling lineup in itself? Let’s break it down…

Original main event: Junior dos Santos vs. Alistair Overeem
Current main event: Junior dos Santos vs. Frank Mir
Advantage: Even. Luckily, our schizophrenic contributor Josh Hutchinson has already presented both sides of this issue, and I’m leaning towards the idea that Mir as a main-event replacement isn’t a total disaster. At first, we had the two best heavyweight strikers in MMA slugging it out for supremacy. Now, we have…well, who knows? Mir’s brilliant ground game opens up a whole new set of outcomes for this one. And isn’t MMA at its best when it’s chaotic and unpredictable? (I know, some of you just watch for the big muscles, but I’m a true fan, okay bro?)

Original co-main event: Cain Velasquez vs. Frank Mir
Current co-main event: Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio Silva
Advantage: Original. And I only say that because Velasquez vs. Mir felt like less of a squash match. Bigfoot really could have used a softer landing in the Octagon; making his UFC debut in a pay-per-view co-main event against a juggernaut ex-champ like Velasquez smells like serious trouble for the Brazilian, who already failed a chin-test against Daniel Cormier in September.

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Report: Michael McDonald Injured, Scratched Off List of Potential Interim Title Challengers


(Tard face: For when punch face just doesn’t describe it.) 

It’s looking like Renan Barao might be getting a phone call from the UFC after all.

According to Dave Meltzer, bantamweight powerhouse Michael “Mayday” McDonald will not be the man to step up against Urijah Faber in Dominick Cruz’s absence, as he has suffered a hand injury that will keep him out of action for the unexpected future. Meltzer reported in his infamous publication, The Wrestling Observer, that the news came from none other than UFC President Dana White, although McDonald has yet to confirm it himself.

The news comes after the current bantamweight champion was forced to pull out of his heated trilogy match with Faber, scheduled for UFC 148, due to a torn ACL. Dana White announced during last week’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 15 that Faber’s new opponent would be announced on tonight’s episode, and the general consensus was that it would be the Californian-born slugger, who is coming off a huge win over former WEC bantamweight champion Miguel Torres, would be the mystery opponent in question. The fact that the other most probable contender, Renan Barao, was already scheduled to face Ivan Menjivar at the same event only confirmed this notion.

If Barao is not the man to claim the empty spot, who else do you think could, Potato Nation? One thing’s for sure, we expect that tonight’s episode of TUF might finally bounce back from the ratings disaster it has been thus far.

We will have more on this story as it continues to develop.

-J. Jones

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MMA Video Tribute: Josh Barnett’s Five Greatest Submissions


(Come on…hasn’t Mark Hunt suffered enough?)

Tomorrow night in San Jose, Josh Barnett will face the greatest challenge of his post-PRIDE career when he meets Daniel Cormier in the finals of Strikeforce’s World Heavyweight Grand Prix. (FYI, we’ll be liveblogging the Showtime main card starting at 10 p.m. ET, so don’t make any big plans.) Barnett’s comfort-level in the cage and catch-wrestling expertise have led him on a four-year winning streak, and one more victory could earn him an improbable return to the UFC. In honor of this pivotal moment for the Warmaster, we decided to round up his five greatest submissions. Enjoy, and shoot us your predictions for Barnett vs. Cormier in the comments section…


(Josh Barnett vs. Semmy Schilt; UFC 32, 6/29/01)

Barnett’s first submission in the Octagon came against gigantic kickboxer Semmy Schilt, who had made his UFC debut the previous month by smashing Pete Williams. Wisely, Barnett avoids the standup game entirely, immediately taking the Dutchman to the mat. Schilt is absolutely helpless underneath the Babyface Assassin, and eventually gives up mount. Barnett waits for the right moment then attacks Schilt’s arm, giving up position in the process. It doesn’t matter — Barnett sinks the armbar at the 4:21 mark of the first round and establishes himself as a fearsome heavyweight grappler.

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