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Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

May, 2012

Mark Hunt Injures Knee, Replaced By Lavar Johnson Against Stefan Struve at UFC 146


(Mark Hunt, seen here at the moment he found out where Lavar Johnson got his nickname.) 

Shitty news for you “Super Samoan” fans, as it has been confirmed by none other than Mark Hunt himself, via his Twitter account, that he has suffered a knee injury in training and has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest against Stefan Struve at UFC 146. For those of you keeping track, this now means that every single main card fight has been altered from its original pairing, and we’re still over a week out. If you’re currently a ticket holder for UFC 146, we recommend you cross your fingers and stick your head in the sand until May 26th comes around.

Thankfully, replacing Hunt will be a similarly hard hitting and Jiu-Jitsu shy fighter in Lavar Johnson, who is coming off a big knockout over Pat Barry at UFC on FOX 3 just twelve days ago. Johnson told UFC.com that he accepted the fight almost immediately:

I heard last night there was a chance I could get this fight and I accepted right away. You don’t get chances like this too much in life, so when you are lucky, you got to make the most of it. I took one week off after last fight [May 5] and then went back to the gym.

So, Potato Nation, is anyone more stoked at the idea of Johnson/Struve than the original matchup? And who do you think takes this?

-J. Jones

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Bellator 69 Weigh-Ins: Maiquel Falcao Picks a Bad Time to Miss Weight [UPDATED]


(Props: TheFightNerd)

Bellator has already proven that they have a zero-tolerance policy for tournament competitors missing weight, and this afternoon, Maiquel Falcao put himself in danger of being the second finalist to be disqualified this season.

During the weigh-ins for tomorrow’s Bellator 69 event at L’Auberge du Lac Casino Resort in Lake Charles, Louisiana, Falcao punished the scales at 188 pounds, three above his middleweight limit. He has been given two hours to sweat off the excess; if he doesn’t make it happen, his opponent Andreas Spang could win the Season Six Middleweight Tournament by default, earning a title shot against a cardboard cutout of Hector Lombard. Cross your fingers for a good result, because these two really need to squash their beefUPDATE: Falcao made weight on his second attempt.

In other Bellator weigh-in news, two undercard fighters also came in heavy on their first attempts, and welterweight semifinalist Karl Amoussou made opponent David Rickels his bitch during the staredown. You can see a GIF of that rather embarrassing moment after the jump, along with complete weigh-in results from Bellator 69, which will also feature a 115-pound women’s match between Megumi Fujii and Jessica Aguilar.

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[VIDEO] Chael Sonnen Goes Back to His Old, Asinine Self, Blames Loss to Silva on “Misunderstanding of the Rules”


(This tender moment is brought to you by the word: clownshoe.) 

As we mentioned earlier this week, Chael Sonnen is basically the living reincarnation of the legend of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He has the capability to come off as a reasonable individual, but more often than not, he chooses to drink that devilish potion, the proceeding surge of bravado almost always coming at the cost of his sanity. Where as Dr. Jekyll becomes a prostitute murdering madman upon drinking said potion, Sonnen reverts into a compulsive liar on such a ridiculous level — spouting claims of certain cycling legends and PED use — that he all but but erases the belief that he is one of the more intelligent figures in the sport today.

Take his recent interview with Jim Rome, in which he discussed his upcoming title fight with Anderson Silva, set for UFC 148 on July 7th. As he did while on “The Joe Rogan Experience,” Sonnen talked about the perceived danger of accepting the rematch in Brazil (as was the original plan) as well as his claims that Silva is a “fake Brazilian.” But you don’t start to smell the fish, so to speak, until his UFC 117 loss to Silva is brought up. After Rome gives the viewers a quick recap of the fight, Sonnen drops this beauty on us:

I am so happy you brought that up for the viewers who may not have seen this…what had happened was an absolute misunderstanding and misapplication of the rules by me. We’re in the fifth and final round, he locks on a submission, and I acknowledge that he has it tight by slapping my hand on his leg.

I tapped. So what I thought is you go to the cards. I win four rounds, he wins that round. Apparently, if you tap, it ends the entire contest, which I was not ever made privy to.

Jesus f’ing Christ. Words cannot even begin to describe the amount of facepalm that is necessary for that aneurysm-inducing bit of drivel. It is as if he is having a four-year old with a inoperable brain tumor scribble out his interview answers in crayon, knowing damn well that the child does not posses the ability to spell “inoperable” or “crayon.” Bill Clinton could not dream up a more ham-fisted response if you were to give him the third runner-up of Miss Plus America, an empty hotel room, and all the time in the world.

Join us after a jump for a play-by-play of the rest of the interview and a full video. 

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K-1/DREAM Parent Company FEG Files for Bankruptcy


(Behold: The most fabulous bounced-check in combat sports history.)

The writing was on the wall when they couldn’t pay their fighters anymore, but it looks like Japanese kickboxing and MMA promoter FEG might be one step closer to officially closing up shop. Sherdog is reporting that the combat sports promoter best known for K-1, DREAM, and the now-defunct Hero’s brand has declared bankruptcy after eight-and-a-half years of operation:

“Long-beleaguered combat sports giant Fighting and Entertainment Group (FEG) has officially declared bankruptcy, according to a report by private credit research firm Teikoku Databank. First published Wednesday by Yahoo.co.jp, the Databank report claims that FEG began the process of declaring bankruptcy on May 7 in Tokyo District Court. No figures indicating the extent of FEG’s debts were revealed,” Sherdog‘s Tony Loiseleur writes.

“Though K-1’s brand rights were transferred to Japanese real estate firm Barbizon, Inc. in January 2006, FEG continued to promote the event under their banner. After the purchase and closure of Pride Fighting Championships by Lorenzo and Frank Fertitta in 2007, FEG partnered with former Pride production staff in the form of Real Entertainment to produce the Dream series.”

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Hot Potato: 10 More Photos of Bellator Ring Girl Mercedes Terrell

Like a film on the Tomatometer, it’s very rare that a featured ring girl in our Hot Potato galleries receives 100 percent approval from the Potato Nation. We assume it’s because most of you are pulling in some pretty incredible trim, and we chalk up the rest to trolling. In either case, Bellator ring girl Mercedes Terrell is the exception to the rule, for when we posted our original gallery devoted to her “talents” back in October, she was met with overwhelming validation by you Taters, so we decided that a follow-up gallery was necessary. To check out an even more extensive gallery of Ms. Terrell, head over to It’sFightingStupid, and be sure to follow Mercedes on Twitter.

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Retirement Can Wait: BJ Penn vs. Josh Koscheck Reportedly in the Works [UPDATED]

bj penn val kilmer
(Val Kilmer isn’t the most experienced strength-and-conditioning coach that BJ’s trained with, but he works cheap, and he’s available pretty much all the time.)

BJ Penn may have tried to retire after his crushing loss to Nick Diaz last October, but the UFC hasn’t given up on him yet, and is reportedly trying to lure the future Hall of Famer back to the Octagon with a bout against Josh Koscheck. Here’s what Kos said via twitter last night:

#UFC just offered me to fight BJ Penn…I said YES!!!!! Just waiting on him!!!!!! Let’s scrap bra?

UFC president Dana White revealed earlier this month that Penn turned down a fight against Strikeforce champion Gilbert Melendez. A return fight against Koscheck — who’s coming off a split-decision loss to Johny Hendricks at UFC on FOX 3 — might be more attractive to Penn, in that it wouldn’t require the Prodigy to cut to 155 or make a “downgrading” appearance in Strikeforce.

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Dana White Responds to ‘UFC on FOX 3′ Ratings Criticism With Personal Attacks Towards Reporter

By Elias Cepeda


(The rant in question. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

You might have read one of the many stories recently on the ratings of the UFC on Fox event that took place Cinco de Mayo weekend. Dave Meltzer probably penned the most significant analysis, given that he’s been providing great business coverage of the sport since 1993. He also had some of the harshest words to describe UFC on Fox 3′s downward-trending numbers.

The overall viewership numbers were down nearly 50% from the previous UFC on FOX broadcast — and significantly lower than other network television MMA broadcasts in the past — and UFC President Dana White didn’t appreciate Meltzer saying so, making his feelings clear in a new video that you can watch above. White argued that his “doom and gloom” report failed to mention the many demographic ratings successes the UFC earned that night.

According to Bloody Elbow’s summary of Meltzer’s piece, published through his subscription-based newsletter, the Wrestling Observer, the writer pulled no punches in characterizing UFC on Fox 3 as a ratings failure:

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Armchair Matchmaker: UFC on FUEL 3 Edition


(Tom Lawlor: The UFC’s undisputed Seven Up champion.) 

Maybe it’s just us, but it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to drum up a potential list of future opponents for the winners of a given UFC card these days. Not only are most fighters already booked for the promotion’s ever-increasing amount of cards, but the ones selected for title shots are seemingly being drawn out of a hat. Be that as it may, we are going to try and sift through the wreckage of last night’s UFC on FUEL card and determine who the big winners should face next. Enjoy.

Chan Sung Jung: We’ll be the first to admit that we underestimated “The Korean Zombie” heading into yesterday’s fight. But aside from his excellent transitions on the ground, or that amazing takedown reversal to mount he was able to pull off, the thing that impressed us the most about Jung was his tranquility. While Poirier was throwing his best shots at him, Jung remained calm, and worked his way out of every hairy situation like a true pro. He deserves a title shot, and Dana White claims that he is next in line for one. And The Baldfather would never go back on his word. Just ask Anthony Pettis.

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Quote of the Day: Fedor Emelianenko May Just Retire After His Fight With Pedro Rizzo


(For some reason, we can’t watch this fight without first playing “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” on loop for a good 3 hours.) 

Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the fragile hope that it was only a matter of time before Fedor Emelianenko would rise from the ashes of mediocrity that he seems to have entrenched himself in lately. In a recent interview with Russian publication Rianovosti, “The Last Emperor” candidly spoke about his future in MMA, and claimed that it might be coming to an end after his fight with fellow legend Pedro Rizzo, which is set to transpire on June 21st in St. Petersberg. True to form, Fedor was not one to elaborate when discussing the possibility of retirement.

I think it’s time to call it a day. This fight may be my last one. 

So there you have it. God is dead, there will be no Christmas this year, and Fedor f’ing Emelianenko is never going to fight an opponent that stands a chance of beating him ever again. And this is in no way an insult to Rizzo, it’s just that, well, if Gilbert Yvel was able to do this to him, just imagine what Fedor will do. Now combine that with the fact that Rizzo has not fought since nearly crippling the human punching bag that is Ken Shamrock back in July of 2010, and you have the makings for another brutal KO win on Emelianenko’s record over an opponent that no one wants to see get knocked out again.

But Emelianenko was nothing but considerate when discussing his opponent, as has become the standard with a true gentlemen like Fedor:

I have been learning from Pedro’s fights and have a lot of respect for him. He is a fighter of a great maturity, beating many of the strongest.

There’s no denying that in his prime, Rizzo was one of the most feared strikers in the sport, and deserves a boatload of respect for his accomplishments as a mixed martial artist. But come June 21st, we might see two illustrious careers come to an end. One via retirement, and the other via death.

-J. Jones

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Zombie vs. Poirier Fight-Picking Contest: The Winners!


(Wear it like a champion. Or at the very least, like a #1 contender.)

Y’know, it would have been helpful last week if we knew that Jung vs. Poirier was going to be a five-round fight. (Serves me right for trusting the word of a fly-by-night MMA fan-blog.) Though we got a wide variety of guesses in our TrauMMA/No Mas fight-picking contest, none of you guessed that the fight would go to the championship rounds, probably because you didn’t know that it was even a possibility.

Nevertheless, the two closest picks belonged to spidey811 (“Zombie def. Poirier via Anaconda Choke at 3:54 in Round 3 [Submission of the Night]“) and topdog (“Jung def Poirier via submission (RNC) @ 3:23 of rd 3 [Submission of the night]“) — who will both be getting the new Korean Zombie t-shirt from TrauMMA Combat Apparel.

Honorable mention goes to Freddyboiiiii, who predicted a second-round submission win for Jung, and correctly guessed that the fight would pick up the Submission of the Night and Fight of the Night bonuses. That’s good enough for a CagePotato t-shirt, I think. If your name has been called, please send your real name, shirt size, and address to contest@cagepotato.com, and we’ll send out your prizes ASAP. Thanks again to TrauMMA for the hookup!

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