After consulting with the big-wigs at Roots of Fight and Black House, we’re pleased to announce the three winners of our recent fan-art contest. So who will be taking home ROF’s limited edition Black House apparel line, which includes the Black House Tee and Black House Insignia Sweatshirt shown above? First, a pair of honorable mentions, which were deemed worthy enough to win t-shirts:

“Battle Scars,” by yellow wrkahlc

“Spider and Dragon,” by Ryan G. (click for larger versions)

And now, the top three…

(Duane, how many times do I have to tell you to STOP SLEEPING ON THE JOB??!!!!)

Well, well, well…it looks like the UFC has finally delivered a free card matchup that doesn’t make us yearn for the days of Arlovski/Sylvia III. Word just broke (and by just, we mean a good six or seven hours ago) that veteran strikers Duane “Bang” Ludwig and Che Mills have been paired up for UFC on FUEL 5, which goes down on September 29, 2012 at the Capital FM Arena in Nottingham, England and features a headlining matchup between heavyweight contenders Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic. Mills broke the news via his Twitter:

After stringing together a pair of wins over Nick Osipczak and Amir Sodallah to save his UFC career, Ludwig again finds himself with his back against the wall. He has dropped his last two contests to Josh Neer (via Ambienotine) and Dan Hardy (via lead left hook of death) and could be looking at his final fight under the promotion if he is not successful against Mills.

(As Dennis Reynolds once said, “I’m not gonna take no for an answer, because I just refuse to do that. Because I’m a winner, and winners… we don’t listen to words like ‘no,’ or ‘don’t,’ or ‘STOP!”) 

Either our math is a little off, or Alistair Overeem has literally gotten so strong that he can both fly and alter the very fabric of time using the power of his centrifugal forces. Because, according to a recent tweet sent out by “The Reem,” the former Dream and Strikeforce heavyweight champion will be back in action this December, despite the fact that he received a nine month suspension just under two months ago:

Well at least he gave you fair warning, Amish communities of Florida.

As he was told in his April hearing, the earliest Alistair could reapply for his license would be December 27th, meaning that the earliest he could compete would be in the UFC’s always loaded New Year’s Eve card, exactly one year after he demolished Brock Lesnar at UFC 141.

Come on, Strikeforce. A simple MOM MADE PIZZA ROLLS would have been far less embarrassing

You know what? I honestly try to be optimistic about the future of Strikeforce. Even when the promotion is hemorrhaging money, even when their website is reduced to an MS Word document, I want to believe that the promotion is run by competent individuals who will find a way to keep it alive.

And then I see the vignette made to promote the upcoming “Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Kennedy” on July 14, and feel stupid for learning nothing from the death of WCW. Case in point:

Video after the jump

(Couture locks horns with a killer whale on the set of the upcoming sequel to 1977′s Orca.) 

Randy Couture is sick of these monkey-fighting terrorists on this Monday-to-Friday plane!

With the premiere of The Expendables 2 just a couple of months away, it seems like the former UFC Light Heavy/Heavyweight champion’s film career is just be beginning to take off. Aside from his returning role as Toll Road* in the aforementioned Sylvester Stallone-lead action extravaganza, he also has two other projects either completed or in post-production this year alone. One such project, Hijacked, sees him take on a role with a little more meat, alongside such stars as Vinnie Jones and Dominick Purcell. Although the IMDB page has yet to add a plot synopsis, the Youtube page that houses the trailer provided the following:

A high-octane, pulse-pounding story of one man out for justice in the sky, HIJACKED stars a top-notch cast of action heroes including former UFC Heavyweight Champion Randy Couture(The Expendables, and the upcoming The Expendables 2), Dominic Purcell (Straw Dogs, “Prison Break”), Tiffany Dupont (“Greek”), Holt McCallany (Fight Club), Craig Fairbrass (The Bank Job) and Vinnie Jones (Snatch, Kill The Irishman) .

Special Agent Ross’s (Couture) plans to reconcile with his ex-fiancé are ruined when she boards a private jet that is targeted by hijackers working for the same crime lord he is chasing. With no time to inform his team, Ross wriggles his way aboard the aircraft and risks it all to save the love of his life.

So basically, it’s kind of like Air Force One, minus the awesomeness of Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford, and thankfully without the suspension of disbelief necessary for us to believe that a woman could ever be Vice President (Sorry, Mrs. Close). Then again, considering Couture’s character is seeking to reconcile with an ex, it will be interesting to see Captain America play against type.

Trailer after the jump. 

Former UFC light-heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell could have been inducted into the UFC hall of fame simply for his post-fight (and pre-fight and everything in between) partying prowess. So we’re not that surprised that Liddell recently partied at an Los Angeles night club with members of the NHL champion LA Kings, Sir Stanley’s cup itself, and several little people dressed up as Oompa Loompas.

All in the night of a UFC ambassador, we suppose. In addition to a couple photos of that night courtesy of Pulitzer-winning TMZ, we’re including a collection of some of our favorite Chuck Liddell partying photos from over the years. As you’ll see, Chuck has gotten down with classy pairs of ladies, celebrities, more classy ladies, former opponents, douchebags, and piles of yet more comely finishing-school drop outs.

Here’s to you, Chuck — the world’s hardest hitting and hardest partying accountant. Cheers. Video and enviable photos await you after the jump…

(“Just gimme the ‘roids and pass the ‘lol, bussanothaneedle’a'zo…”)

Following Rafael Cavalcante‘s $2,500 fine and one-year suspension for testing positive for a banned substance, the California State Athletic Commission has confirmed that “Feijao” pissed hot for stanozolol, the anabolic steroid of choice for such MMA fighters as Tim Sylvia, Chris Leben, Ken Shamrock and Cris Cyborg. As a result, Cavalcante’s May 19th submission win over Mike Kyle has been overturned to a no-contest.

Cavalcante and his management team have already filed an appeal with the CSAC, and are awaiting a hearing date.

According to our handy guide to this sort of thing, the four failed drug tests so far this year (Cyborg, Lawal, Overeem, Cavalcante) mean that 2012 has already seen as many failed drug tests in MMA as 2010 and 2011 combined. At the current rate, 2012 will be the second most drug-fueled year in the sport’s modern history after 2007, in which a whopping 14 fighters tested positive for steroids.

(Finally we can look forward to an injury that happens IN the cage.) 

It’s finally happened, Potato Nation. The soil has reached over-saturation point and the paper clip that finally breaks the surface tension has been dropped. Confused? So are we, because even though the UFC held that UFC on FUEL event on an Indian burial ground in Fairfax earlier this year, we were told that everything would be fine. “Florida is a tough market,” they said. “They’re training too hard,” they clamored. But we weren’t fooled by the red herrings, the smoke and mirrors. This is karma for the UFC’s aforementioned acts of stepping on hallowed ground. Those insolent baboons.

The injury curse that has pulled the rug out from the UFC’s summer plans has officially become so frequent that we can’t even finish an article informing you of an injury before another one has already occurred. The chances of us mentioning a fighter within a sentence who isn’t currently injured has dropped to a staggering 0.0126 percent, and we simply don’t know what to do anymore. Begin stockpiling your canned goods and first aid kits, because surely the end times are upon us.

(Wanderlei Silva, seen here mirroring the feelings of everyone who purchased a ticket for any UFC event this summer.) 

The tales of UFC 147-UFC 149 are not unlike the tale of Meg Ryan. What started off as a moderately attractive, if not rather inviting group of cards, has undergone so many face lifts and botched botox injections that they have been left a hollowed, sun-dried husk of what it once was. It has gotten so bad, in fact, that most of us can’t even recognize the frumpy, blonde haired cards we fell in love with in the first place and now must resort to faking it. “It” being interest.

So you’ll forgive our apathy as we inform you that TUF: Brazil finalist Daniel Sarafian has been forced to withdraw from his matchup with fellow finalist Cezar “Mutante” Ferreira less than a week out from UFC 147. UFC.com broke the news:

The Ultimate Fighter Brazil® middleweight favorite Daniel Sarafian, who earned a spot in the finals with an impressive flying-knee knockout, has been injured and cannot compete in this Saturday’s UFC® 147: Silva vs. Franklin II.

More from this story and the tattered remains of the UFC 147 fight card are after the jump.

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(“DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE FRANK IS COOKING??”)

Wow, Frank Mir wants to face Brock Lesnar again more than we realized. The two-time UFC heavyweight champion (and two-time Lesnar adversary) recently told The Chronicle Journal that he is “not opposed to the idea” of becoming a professional wrestler, although he did clarify that he “can’t do a back flip or anything.”

Mir has never kept secret the fact that he wants revenge on Lesnar for the beating he took at Brock’s hands in their rematch. With Lesnar back in the WWE, maybe Mir realizes that his only chance at getting his paws on Brock again is for the two of them to work together in a squared circle.

But could Mir really be trusted to stick to the script and work collaboratively with his nemesis, should they meet up in the WWE? Daniel Puder taught us that MMA fighters can’t always be trusted to make pro wrestling superstars look good in the ring.

In his prime, Wanderlei Silva was the scariest man in MMA — the kind of fighter you’d cross the cage just to avoid. As he heads into his main event fight against Rich Franklin at UFC 147 this Saturday, let’s take a moment to remember the Axe Murderer the way he should be remembered. Our favorite GIFs of Wandy tearing people apart and acting like a psycho begin after the jump…

(How much of a gentlemen is Brian Stann? He tried to break Santiago’s UFC curse the only way he knew how; with a kiss on bended knee.) 

Woe is Jorge Santiago. “The Sandman” has been put to sleep in three out of his five performances in his two runs with the UFC, and was released a second time after dropping a unanimous decision to Demian Maia at UFC 136. But whenever we catch a glimpse of him in a smaller promotion, you’d think you were watching some up and coming prospect that the UFC  must be overlooking. As Tim McCarver would say, as good as Santiago has looked outside the UFC, that’s how as bad he’s looked inside of it. Since exiting the promotion, Santiago has scored a devastating first round knockout of his own over Leonardo Pecanha last March, and tried to make it two in a row when he squared off against 16-5 Justin Guthrie in the main event of last weekend’s TFC 23 card in Fort Riley, Kansas.

Spoiler alert: Santiago picked up another first round finish, this time by reverse heel hook. Unfortunately for “The Sandman,” he was knocked unconscious by the phone call he received from Joe Silva shortly thereafter.

Video after the jump.

(When you walk around heavier than King Mo, dwarf Demian Maia, and are about the same size as Brett Rogers, you probably weren’t a middleweight to begin with. / Photo via KnockOutDogFighting.org)

It was always a joke that Anthony Johnson competed at welterweight; having to cut over 40 pounds to make your limit isn’t healthy for your body or for fair competition. But in an ironic twist, making middleweight was even harder for Johnson than making 170. He failed miserably in two separate attempts, coming in at 197 pounds (!) for his final UFC fight against Vitor Belfort, and at 194.2 for a “catchweight” match against Dave Branch at Titan FC 22 that was originally scheduled as a middleweight contest.

Rather than risk further humiliation, AJ has decided to go up the ladder again, where he’ll compete even closer to his natural weight, whatever that may be. According to Titan Fighting Championships promoter Joe Kelly, “[Anthony Johnson] has stated that in his next fight, he wants to fight for us at 205 so that’s where the fight will be in July. We’ll see.“

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

UFC 147′s replacement main event may seem like a re-tread of an old classic, but it’s the little differences, y’know? First off, Rich Franklin and Wanderlei Silva will be fighting a five-rounder this time, which could affect their pace and game-plans, and allows each man more time to secure a finish.

Second, unlike their first meeting at 195 pounds, this one will happen slightly lower down the catchweight scale at 190. While that won’t matter much to Silva, who’s been competing at middleweight for the last two years, it’ll be the first time Franklin has had to fight below 195 pounds since he beat up Travis Lutter in 2008.

And of course, Silva vs. Franklin 2 will go down in Silva’s home country of Brazil, whereas their first fight at UFC 99 took place in the neutral territory of Cologne, Germany. Add up enough minor differences, and the tenor of the fight could change drastically. Franklin is a slightly heavier favorite over Wandy going into this fight (-155) as he was going into their last one (-140). Should he be?

As for the other fight on this card that you halfway-care about…

Hope you jerks are having a better Father’s Day than some of us.

Yesterday didn’t just provide us with depressing fights from former contenders. We also got to witness a fight from former champion Tim Sylvia and Jong Dae Kim attempt to win The Bob Sapp Challenge™. Okay, so it was still somewhat depressing. But at least you won’t feel guilty for pointing and laughing at anyone involved, so what else can you ask for?

Tim Sylvia has been making a valiant effort to win fights and get back to the UFC as of late- although the overwhelming majority of his battles have taken place on Twitter and YouTube. Fresh off of back-to-back TKO losses to Patrick Cote and dignity, Tim Sylvia decided to do his fighting inside the cage last night against Randy Smith, a thirty-eight year old journeyman who entered the bout with a 13-10-1 professional record. A can of his caliber shouldn’t last ten seconds in the cage with a former UFC champion, yet Smith defied the odds by being knocked twelve seconds into the first round.

Impressive victory over a game opponent? Not so much. Will it take our minds off of his last effort, a forgettable decision over Andreas Kraniotakes at the abysmal Pro Elite 2: Big Guns? Trick question- we’ve blocked that fight from our memories a long time ago. Low-Quality to the point of being virtually unwatchable video after the jump? You betcha.

It’s easy- perhaps even a bit lazy- to compare the embattled MMA fighter Drew Fickett to the similarly troubled Scott Hall. In their primes, both men performed on their respective sport’s biggest stages against recognizable names. In Fickett’s case, this meant a run in the UFC and notable victories over Dennis Hallman, Kenny Florian, Josh Neer, Josh Koscheck and Kurt Pellegrino.

Yet it’s arguable that both men are more famous for their self-destructive, chaotic lifestyles outside of sport than they are for their accomplishments. Both men have well documented struggles with addiction, have been fired from major promotions over their drunken antics and have attempted to stay relevant in their respective sports with increasingly tragic results.

Case in point: Last night’s ShoFIGHT 20, which took place on the campus of Drury University in Springfield, Missouri. The show was essentially a who’s who of washouts from bigger promotions, which included (aside from Fickett) John Gunderson, Karo Parisyan, Kendall Grove, Lyle Beerbohm, Marcus Aurelio, Charles Bennett, “Smilin’” Sam Alvey and Roli Delgado. This card saw Fickett matched up against submission specialist Jonatas Novaes.

“I have no problem with you competing like this, but first you’re going to have to trim those bangs.”

There’s nothing funny about the ‘Injury Curse‘ that’s been pillaging the UFC 149 card of talent, and for once our piss-poor writing isn’t to blame. Last night Sherdog.com broke the news (and what was left of our hearts) that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira has not fully recovered from the broken arm he suffered courtesy of a Frank Mir kimura back at UFC 140.

Some might say it was wishful thinking when we prematurely celebrated how quickly “Minotauro” was healing; others might say it was a slow news day and that a short video helped fill the void. Either way, Dr. Frankenstein is running low on corpses and won’t be able to swap out Big Nog’s arm in time for his July 21^st duel with the rule breaking hard hitting Cheick Kongo.

Details on Kongo’s opponent and how this card stacks up in the ‘Injury Card Hall Of Fame’ after the jump.

Previous experiments have involved a flat iron and a tub of Crisco.

We enjoy a great hairdo as much as the next guy, but it’s not often that one plays a role in the outcome of a fight. Back in the day, Jason Fairn and Guy Mezger famously made a gentlemen’s agreement not to tug on each other’s locks during their fight, and more recently Louis Gaudinot has considered chopping off his tresses after his hair hampered his performance against John Lineker. Those men took a look in the mirror and decided the fate of their own follicles, an option that has sadly been taken out of the hands of Clay Guida.

“The Carpenter’s” signature coiffure was recently placed on the proverbial chopping block after Gray Maynard‘s camp filed a formal complaint with the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board. Sanctioning bodies are responsible for determining “whether head or facial hair presents any hazard to the safety of the unarmed combatant or his opponent or will interfere with the supervision and conduct of the contest or exhibition.” Though Guida has the right to contest Camp Maynard’s objection to his hair, he has opted to braid his Medusa-like top for their bout rather than bog himself down with legal wranglings.

Hear from all parties involved after the jump.

“Damn it, you can listen to Triple F Life later! We need someone to pay attention to this card!” – Abraham Lincoln

Earlier this week, we asked a very simple question: Is it possible that the UFC is over-saturating its market? Perhaps the UFC’s quest to become as mainstream as, say, the NBA, is causing it to stretch its events a little thin on known names and marketable fights. Ironically, this means that it may be possible that the UFC’s attempts to draw in new fans may be repelling them.

Well, the UFC appears to have issued a pretty clear answer to this discussion.

The UFC will make its first appearance in Nottingham, England- and its first appearance in England since UFC 138- with UFC on Fuel TV 5 on September 29th. The main event? Stefan Struve vs. Stipe Miocic.

We won’t be as pessimistic as FrontRowBrian, but…ouch.

Like a true champion, Junior Dos Santos has found an all-natural way to shrink his testicles. (Photo: paperlenses.wordpress.com)

Between irresponsible TRT use and baseless speculation concerning the recent injury epidemic, the use of performance enhancing drugs in MMA has cast the sport in a rather negative light of late. So it’s a breath of fresh air to have a fighter not only come out against PED use, but to express a willingness to take part in more comprehensive drug tests. And it’s even better when that fighter is the current UFC heavyweight champion. In a recent press conference, Junior Dos Santos stated that he advocated random blood testing for his future fights for both himself and his opponents.

“I am champion and never have used anything, and I am proud to say that. It is unfair to use substances. With or without authorization, it makes a difference. A fighter who can do this kind of treatment is not himself in the octagon and using tricks to improve [his] performance.”

This is significant for three reasons. First, because Junior Dos Santos said it. It’s unlikely that Dana White will read this and retort “I would rather watch flys [sic] fuck,” as he did when Ben Askren accused White of not doing enough to prevent the use of PEDs. If your heavyweight champion wants something, especially when that something will contribute to the legitimacy of your sport, you’d do well to accommodate him.

More on the need for increased testing after the jump…

Defense exhibit I: You can clearly see Feijao’s teammate slipping him something behind his back. Don’t waste your time, Feijao, it’s been tried before. (Photo: MMAJunkie.com)

If Dana White has been hexed with an “Injury Curse“, surely someone has placed a “Banned Substance Pox” on poor Scott Coker. After losing two stars in Cyborg Santos and Muhammed Lawal to failed drug tests earlier this year, he’ll now likely have to soldier on without the services of former Strikeforce Light Heavyweight champion Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante.

As first tweeted by Gabriel Montoya and reported by MMAFighting.com [thanks for doing the heavy lifting, guys], the California State Athletic Commission has suspended ‘Feijao’ for one year and fined him $2,500 after testing positive for a banned substance following his quick destruction of Mike Kyle last month at “Strikeforce: Barnett vs Cormier”. ‘Feijao’ stunned Kyle with a big knee in the opening moments of the bout then swarmed him with ground and pound before pulling guard, sinking in a guillotine choke, and drawing the tap—all in a cool 33 seconds.

CSAC’s George Dodd has yet to reveal which banned substance Cavalcante was popped for, but his manager, Ed Soares, isn’t buying it…

(You mean to tell me that this man *isn’t* number one? UNBELIEVABLE.) 

Regardless of where you stand on the whole “pound for pound” rankings debate, FightMatrix recently released a list of what they referred to as ‘Division Dominance’ rankings, which rank fighters according to how impressively they’ve fared against the fellow members of their respective weight divisions. Where you’d think that Anderson Silva would be a the top of this list by about a million points, being that he has never lost a fight in the UFC, it might surprise you who topped him.

Here’s the description FightMatrix provided along with the list of criteria that led them to their conclusion:

The division point dominance list debuted on 3/16/08, and is comparable, but not identical to a pound-for-pound list.  While a pound-for-pound list factors in divisional tenure and the ability to transcend weight divisions while remaining successful, this list does not.  This list ranks fighters based on their point level superiority over those in the division in which they are currently ranked.

This is done by averaging the point level which encompasses the typical transition between the elites and top contenders of the division, then compares this average to the fighter’s current point level. The higher a fighter’s division dominance points, the more “dominant” they are over their divisional peers.

One important thing to note is that there are two important factors that comprise a fighter’s division dominance rating. The strength of the division’s top fighters and the fighter’s own current rating. A fluctuation in the fighter’s rating, division strength, and/or division assignment can all result in changes to a fighter’s division dominance rating.

As of 8/28/2011, we have added further requirements:
Fighter must have a win, draw, or quality performance in the previous 360 days (450 if currently in “inactive decay”).
Fighter must have at least two wins in their listed division within the past 900 days OR be ranked #1 in their division.

Check out the list after the jump and express your agreement or outrage in the comments section.

Say what you want about her ability to pick ‘em, but if there’s one thing longtime UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste knows, it’s how to look good in front of a camera. We don’t mean to be crude, but MYGODLOOKATHER…presence. It’s truly something to behold. Anyway, check out an extended gallery of her talents after the jump, and if you want to see Ms. Celeste’s shoot in its entirety, head over to Egotastic.com. Be sure to follow Arianny on Twitter as well, and tell her that CP sent you. We’re sure she’ll be thrilled.

-J. Jones

(“Let’s fight like men, okay? No leg kicks, takedowns, submissions, or any punches that aren’t blind haymakers.”)

Remember when we said that Bellator’s roster is “becoming a dumping ground for disgraced former Zuffa prospects“? (We were specifically talking about heavyweights then, but still.) The latest word out of Rebneyville is that welterweight bad boy Paul Daley — who had recently asked to be released from his Strikeforce contract because they weren’t giving him enough fights — has been signed by Bellator. Daley’s promotional debut will take place at Bellator 72, July 20th at the University of South Florida’s Sun Dome in Tampa. Said Bjorn Rebney via press release:

“I’ve been a Semtex fan for years. He’s an incredibly explosive fighter who is magic to watch inside the cage. So, when the opportunity presented itself to join forces with Paul, it was a simple decision to make. Paul’s one of those fighters I’ve always intentionally stayed home to watch and now I can watch him cageside at Bellator.”

Though Rebney deserves to be excited about signing a well-known knockout artist like Daley, two factors might stall out Semtex’s success in the Bellator cage:

(Mike Tyson, Urijah Faber, and Snoop Dogg discuss the influence of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu. Props: RootsofFight. From now until Sunday, you can get 15% off their new Helio Gracie shirt — or anything else in their store — by entering Coupon code FD2012JB when you check out.)

-  Knockout of the Half-Year: Edson Barboza Banishes Terry Etim to a Lifetime Highlight Reel (MMAFighting)

- Scoring Error Corrected for UFC on FX 3; Mike Pierce Now Unanimous Decision Victor (MMAWeekly)

- ‘Shogun’ Rua Says He Would ‘Gain Nothing’ Fighting Glover Teixeira (Fightline)

- Brett Rogers Says House Fire Sparked Rift With Bellator 71 Opponent Kevin Asplund (MMAJunkie)

- Between Choices and Chance, the UFC Has Spread Itself Too Thin (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Three Exercises to Build ‘Dad Strength’ (MensFitness)

- The Ultimate Runway Model Fails Compilation (WorldWideInterweb)

- Kevin Durant’s Top 10 Plays For The 2012 Season (TurdFergusonBlog)

- How to Spend Your Lottery Winnings (HolyTaco)

- Girl on Girls: Sex Advice From a Woman (MadeMan)

Yes, it’s ugly, trashy and tasteless to include Arianny on this list. Just like this t-shirt. Props: UFCStore.com

MMA fighters aren’t exactly known for their fashion sense. So it should come as little surprise that most MMA t-shirt companies produce some pretty questionable designs. The rampant abuse of foil print, skulls, chains, tribal designs and nautical stars among most MMA t-shirts is bad enough on its own; even worse when you consider that they sell for thirty bucks a pop.

Which I guess makes it all the worse when a fighter makes his way to the cage covered in an “athletic fit” Old-English mess. Not only is the shirt revolting, but it’s going to sell for an outlandish sum of money, and be worn by every overweight Texas Roadhouse chef, milquetoast tech support geek and muscle-bound frat boy.

Perhaps the reason that we’ve never attempted an “Ugliest Walkout Shirts” post is because ranking these train wrecks is like ranking, well, actual train wrecks. No matter what order you place them in, you’re a total scumbag for attempting to rank a tragedy from most to least depressing. And besides, you’re clearly wrong about which one belongs at number three. For that reason, these will not be ranked, per se, but rather categorized. How you feel these shirts fall into place is up to you.

Let’s start with the most obvious category:

(CAAAANNN YOOOUUU DIG IT?!!) 

If you’ve ever found yourself entranced by a raspy, baritone voice calling out “We’re rollin!” from the locker rooms of a UFC event, then you are undoubtedly familiar with the UFC’s “babysitter to the stars,” Burt Watson. I will be the first to admit that in my infinite wisdom, I once failed to recognize one of the most crucial members of the sport’s highest promotion when he was caught on camera during one of Dana White’s infamous Danavlogs. It is to this date the biggest mindfart I have ever farted (which is saying something), but needless to say, without Watson shuffling fighters around, organizing them for press conferences, and getting them amped up for their fights, the UFC would be a shell of the “well-oiled machine” that it truly is.

Wanting to recognize the crucial role Watson plays in the UFC, Sportsnet recently dedicated a brief video to his greatness, reeling in such UFC stars as Georges. St Pierre (who does a hilarious Watson impression when prompted), Frank Mir, Junior dos Santos, and even the boss man himself to sing his praises. So check it out if you’ve got a couple extra minutes, and leave your own praises in the comments section.

(Too obvious?)

Friends, Romans, countrymen, welcome to the most star-studded — and foolishly ambitious — CagePotato Roundtable in history. This week’s topic is “Who’s the Baddest Motherfucker of All Time?” and we have two very, very special guests to help us out. They are…

- Ben Fowlkes, the former CagePotato senior editor who abandoned us in April 2010 and has been writing incredible features for MMAFighting.com ever since. Last month, he and fellow CP veteran Chad Dundas launched a hilarious and thought-provoking weekly MMA podcast called The Co-Main Event. Do yourself a favor and subscribe to the show on iTunes right here, right now.

- Jason Ellis, the professional skateboarder, author, MMA fighter, truck racer, boxer, singer, and actor who hosts The Jason Ellis Show on weekday afternoons on Sirius XM Radio’s Faction channel. Jason’s best-selling autobiography — the appropriately titled I’m Awesome — details his triumph over drugs, personal tragedy, and being Australian, en route to becoming “the new voice of action sports in America”? Go buy it.

I’m sure some of you have already passed out from shock and excitement. As for the rest of you, pack a canteen and follow us into the abyss. Warning: It’s gonna get weird…

Ben Fowlkes

You want to talk old school badasses? I mean really, really old school? Like pre-Rickson Gracie old school? Look no further than Julius Caesar, son. Right about now you’re all like, ‘Who, dude with the cheap pizzas?’ First of all, that’s Little Caesar’s, which sucks. Second of all, shut up. I’m trying to teach you something here.

(Props: BitchCombo via MRuss)

When our favorite UFC commentator (and stand-up comedian/actor/television show host) Joe Rogan came back with a re-launch of his long-running NBC extreme game show Fear Factor, critics wondered what the point was. We should have known better than to doubt Joe and the Factor producers because they had a sure-fire ratings ace up their sleeves — pairs of pretty twin girls in bikinis gulping down gallons and gallons of donkey jizz and piss.

Unfortunately the suits at NBC decided not to air the episode in America and shortly after, Fear Factor was cancelled. Coincidence? We think not. The pornographic segment* has finally seen the light of day, on Danish Television. We’ll go ahead and assume that Martin Kampmann may have already watched and enjoyed the clip.

(Earning red wings: It is a messier right of passage for some than for others.) 

If the name hadn’t already been used for UFC 125, Resolution would be the perfect title for UFC 154, which promises to finally clear up the traffic jam that has clogged the welterweight division for what has felt like an eternity. Not only will it feature the potential return of Georges St. Pierre, who will in turn battle interim champ Carlos Condit for the bragging rights of a division that has long been missing them, but now it appears that the winner of that bout (ruling out any horrific decisions or immediate rematches) will have his next (or first) challenger already lined up.

Word has it that Martin Kampmann, fresh off yet another come-from-behind victory over Jake Ellenberger at the TUF 15 Finale will be facing hard hitting Johny Hendricks at the same event to determine the true number one contender at 170 lbs. This sounds all too familiar for Hendricks, who was promised the next title shot if he were to beat Josh Koscheck at UFC on FOX 3 last month. He did, and was promptly denied in favor of a Condit/GSP showdown. “Bigg Rigg” was rather blunt about his disappointment in a recent interview with MMAFighting, but stated that it wasn’t going to peeve him for too long.

Hear what Hendricks had to say after the jump.