(“You’ll never get me Lucky Charms!”)

For nearly four years, the Japanese MMA promotion DREAM did its best to carry the mantle of PRIDE, presenting the same mix of top international talent and freak-show comic relief, all inside of a traditional ring, rather than a filthy American cage. But we were hit with some sad news this weekend as multiple sources reported that DREAM has ceased day-to-day operations, and will no longer be producing events. So as we like to do when great MMA traditions die, let’s take a look back at some of the fights that made this promotion so unique, so entertaining, and so balls-out insane…

#8: Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Melvin Manhoef
DREAM.4, 6/15/08 

Though Kazushi Sakuraba’s fame was partly based on his willingness to absorb damage from larger fighters, the level of savagery that Melvin Manhoef inflicted on him during their meeting at the Yokohama Arena probably should have convinced Saku to walk away from the sport. The moment when Manhoef drags Saku away from the ropes by his leg so he can dive in to continue the assault (see the 2:43 mark above) remains one of DREAM’s most indelible and brutal moments.

#7: Shinya Aoki vs. dumb-ass gaijin
DREAM.7, 3/8/09

Another tradition that DREAM inherited from PRIDE? Absurd mismatches. At the time of this fight, Aoki was widely considered to be a top-3 lightweight, while Gardner was an obscure 13-7 journeyman who was coming off a loss to Brian Cobb. Aoki’s domination on the mat was no surprise, but the fight became legendary for how it ended. Stuck with Aoki on his back, Gardner took advantage of a brief pause in the action — and the near-silence in the Saitama Super Arena — to wave to the crowd and shout “Hello Japan!” Aoki immediately wrapped up Gardner’s neck and choked him out, causing the crowd to break out in laughter and Bas Rutten to cry “Oh my God it is so dumb! So dumb! Why?!” Some things just can’t be explained, Bas.

Earlier this year, the future of undefeated Bellator heavyweight prospect Blagoi Ivanov appeared uncertain for the most unfortunate of reasons. However, Sherdog.com is reporting that Ivanov has made a “miraculous recovery” over the past ten days, and has been released from Pirogov Hospital in Sofia, Bulgaria. Ivanov will still require treatment, but is determined to eventually fight again.

In February, Blagoi Ivanov was attending the after party of a boxing tournament when a fight broke out. Ivanov attempted to break up the fight when he and two of his friends were attacked by eight men carrying guns and knives. While his friends only suffered minor injuries, Ivanov was stabbed in the armpit, with the blade piercing his heart.

Just beneath the picture: Heineken Light.

Depending on how you feel about UFC welterweight Jon Fitch, UFC on FUEL TV 4 either just became much more interesting or just suffered a massive blow.

As initially reported by WrestlingObserver.com and confirmed by MMAFighting.com, Jon Fitch has suffered a knee injury and has been forced to withdraw from his upcoming bout against Aaron Simpson at UFC on FUEL TV 4. At this time, a replacement opponent for Aaron Simpson has not been announced.

Just look at these two–like a couple of wild dogs you can’t keep apart.

With two bouts and two unsatisfying stoppages already under their belts, Waachiim Spiritwolf and Marius Zaromskis are slated to once more climb into a cage and go through the motions of fighting before a freak injury leaves the viewing audience with a massive case of blue balls.

The pair first locked horns at Strikeforce Challengers 12, where an inadvertent eyepoke just seconds into the fight left Spiritwolf unable to continue. The duo reloaded and clashed once more a few weeks back at Bellator 68, where cageside doctors would call a halt to the bout between the second and third frames due to a cut between Spiritwolf’s eyebrows.

With one ‘No Contest’ and one questionable tally in the win column for Zaromskis, Spiritwolf will have his chance to settle the score on July 20^th at Bellator 72.

After the jump, season six Welterweight tournament finalists will tie up loose ends as well…

“Anyone *else* want to punch me in the face?!?” (Photo: Louie Abigail/FightBulletin.net)

Still in the wake of last week’s heavyweight rumbles, Friday’s ‘The Ultimate Fighter: Live’ Finale drew little hype. It could be because it was sandwiched in the middle of a busy schedule, or because it’s the closer to the least-watched season of the franchise thus far. Either way, it was a night of action worthy of your eyeballs, particularly considering the pricetag.

Jake Ellenberger wasted little time in bringing the hurt to his opponent. Ellenberger swarmed Martin Kampmann, a notoriously slow starter, with a barrage of heavy hands right out of the gate, sending the Dane crashing to his back against the cage. “The Juggernaut” followed him to the ground, unloading with heavy ground and pound in search of the shot that would turn Kampmann’s lights out. The death blow wouldn’t come, and if Kampmann prayed for a moment’s rest the gods shined upon him with nearly four minutes of a protracted ground battle that allowed him to shake out the cobwebs and regain his composure.

(Brookins and Chiesa will be fighting hard for the UFC’s new “Filthiest Hair” bonus. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this gallery, click here.)

The UFC’s first experiment in “jive live” comes to an end tonight, as Team Faber lightweights Michael Chiesa and Al Iaquinta do battle for the TUF 15 trophy on FX. But wait, it gets better: Jake Ellenberger will be putting his six-fight win streak on the line against perennial welterweight contender Martin Kampmann in the main event, while TUF 12 winner Jonathan Brookins meets up with submission whiz Charles Oliveira in a featherweight feature.

Since he’s been recapping the season for us anyway, Elias Cepeda is back to handle liveblog duties for this evening. Round-by-round results from the Ultimate Fighter Live Finale main card broadcast will be collecting after the jump starting at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please, no comment-section lurking; if you’ve got something to say, share it with the class.

(So I sez to da brod, “Chael sent me,” and she just hands the needles right ova!!) 

To say that it has been a disturbing week in the world almost does too much justice for the term “disturbing.” It has been an abhorring week. There have been two cases of zombie-like acts of cannibalism reported in the past few days alone. Two. If you can stomach it, see for yourself what the human race is still capable of. Being a bit of a paranoid, Burt Gummer-esque survivalist at heart, upon hearing this news, I immediately took to the stocked gun cabinet that rests in the dining room of my countryside abode, stepped outside, and began target practicing on squirrels, chipmunks, and whatever else happened to cross my path. Because this is how it begins, people. You know, the stuff those guys in face paint and textiles told us would happen so many years ago. And I hate to be a dick, but I warned you fuckers. Many, many times. And you just didn’t want to listen.

Self whoring aside, I’d like to think that when the news in the real world gets me down, I can always turn to the world of MMA/combat sports for a little bit of solace, be it in the form of a fantastic knockout, a discussion with friends, or a news story that makes me smile from ear to ear. So you can imagine my disappointment when I came across yet another story of a mixed martial artist, this time Frank Mir, hopping on the TRT bandwagon.

I’ll admit, I found it a little odd when Frank told Ariel Helwani that he didn’t want to discuss the matter in the interviews leading up to his UFC 146 clash with Junior Dos Santos, because let’s be honest, when is there ever something that Frank Mir doesn’t want to talk about? BloodyElbow’s Brent Brookhouse seems to agree with this sentiment, and Mir’s avoidance of the issue makes so much more sense in retrospect.

(Photographic proof that Mayhem Miller stole his idea to give C.B. Dollaway a noogie just moments before doing so.) 

Call it “The Curse of the 140′s,” because it appears that yet another big fight in what has been a goat rope of a month in MMA matchmaking has been scratched from the books. Those of you expecting a sure-to-be-slugfest between former UFC light heavyweight champion Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and noted brawler Thiago Silva at UFC 149 are going to be more disappointed than a CagePotato contest winner, because word broke this morning that Thiago Silva has been forced to withdraw from his co-main event matchup due to a back injury. Go fucking figure. At this point, it seems the only thing that can save Silva’s spine from shattering into a million pieces would be the back brace that Sweet Dee Reynolds wore to her high school reunion. Or perhaps he just needs to find the David Dunn to his Mr. Glass.

But fret not, Potato Nation, for every shit-filled tunnel has a light at the end of it. In Silva’s absence, the UFC has called upon fellow Brazilian slugger Glover Teixeira to step up and fill the void. Here’s where things get a little muddy, so to speak. It was initially reported, by none other than Dana White, that Shogun had apparently turned down the fight. Here’s what he told MMAJunkie:

With Thiago hurt, we turned to Glover and asked him to go right back in to fight ‘Shogun’ at UFC 149. But ‘Shogun’s’ people are adamantly refusing to take the fight. They want nothing to do with Glover.

Shogun’ wants nothing to do with Glover. But that’s the fight Lorenzo and I are trying to put together.

According to members of Shogun’s camp, however, White’s claims are just a bunch of profanity-ridden malarkey, as they had not even been made aware of the fact that Silva was injured, let alone of a potential replacement.

(Yeah, I think he’ll fit right in.)

Today in Las Vegas, boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather Jr. finally went to jail for some shit he did two years ago. After being sentenced in December for beating the hell out of his ex-girlfriend then threatening her and their sons with further violence if they called the police, and then being allowed to remain a free man through May so he could make $32 million fighting Miguel Cotto — good lookin’ out, justice system! — Mayweather was scheduled to surrender before a Las Vegas judge today to start his 87-day jail term. Huffington Post passes along some details about his upcoming summer in the pokey:

Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be one of the richest prizefighters ever. But the unbeaten five-division champion who goes by the nickname “Money” is about to trade life in a posh five-bedroom Las Vegas home for almost three months in a cell about one-third the size of a small boxing ring…

As a high-profile inmate, police say Mayweather, 35, probably will serve most of his time in a small solo cell. There is floor space for sit-ups and push-ups. But Mayweather’s stint in the high-rise Clark County Detention Center is expected to limit his ability to train for another fight.

At least for the first week, Mayweather will be segregated for his protection from the other 3,200 inmates in the downtown Las Vegas facility, police Officer Bill Cassell said this week…

All fighters made weight at last night’s weigh-ins for The Ultimate Fighter 15 Finale, which goes down live on FX tonight at the Palms Casino Resort in Paradise, Nevada. The evening was surprisingly absent of anything even resembling intensity, as many of the fighters (especially those on the undercard) seemed more like they were trying to one-up each other in terms of how goofy a stance they could strike for the cameras. As Yves Edwards would surely tell them, the key to a great weigh in photo is simplicity. And a bag of KC Masterpiece potato chips.

Will Martin Kampmann finally score a victory over a top contender that has eluded him ever since his win over Carlos Condit? And will the winner of Kampmann/Ellenberger receive a title shot in the clusterfucked welterweight division? Who will be crowned “king shit” of what may have been the least memorable season of The Ultimate Fighter in the show’s history?

For the answers to all these questions and more, make sure to swing by CP tonight, where our very own writer/ass-kicker Elias Cepeda will be liveblogging all the action starting at 9 p.m.

Join us after the jump for the video and full weigh-in results. 

(I got winner.)

Today on the CagePotato Roundtable, we’re taking a trip through the magical world of make-believe! Which MMA fighter would you scrap with if reality was no object? Would it be a hated heel? A personal idol? An undersized Japanese lady who you might actually have a puncher’s chance against? Joining us this week is Vince Mancini, the esteemed editor of FilmDrunk.com and occasional CP commenter. Follow his shit @FilmDrunk, and if you have a topic idea for a future Roundtable column, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Chris Colemon

Saying that I could fight any MMA fighter implies that I also have the option not to do so, and I would exercise that option. You see, I’m what scientists call “a pussy.” I don’t like my chances in a scrap against anyone, trained or not. In that way I’m kind of like the anti-Krazy Horse: I’ll back down from men, women, children, retarded people…

But if I had to throw down with an MMA fighter of my choosing, it’s going to be Bob Sapp, all day. The reasons are plentiful. As stated earlier, any trained fighter is going to wreck me, badly, so I’m certainly not going to pick someone smaller than me or a female — why give my detractors [friends] more to mock? No, I’m going to pick an intimidating juggernaut, and few fit that bill better than Bob Sapp. If I lose the fight — which is pretty much the only possibility — non-MMA fans [again, my friends] will look at pictures of him, then back at my unimposing frame, and accept the loss as a forgone conclusion while giving me eternal props for climbing into the cage with such a monstrosity.

Actual MMA fans tuning into the fight will already be expecting to see someone turtle-up and play dead before the first punch connects, so they won’t be disappointed if I take a page out of “The Beast’s” own playbook and hit the canvas prematurely. All of Sapp’s recent battles have been farces, so at least no one will be expecting a real fight; I’d hate to disappoint the crowd.

(The announcement, via MMAWeeklyVideos)

Last night following the TUF Live Finale weigh-ins at the Pearl Theater at The Palms in Las Vegas, seven-year UFC veteran Kenny Florian announced his retirement from the sport. The affable fan-favorite had compiled a 12-5 record in the Octagon with seven of his wins by rear-naked choke, and was the only fighter in UFC history to compete in four weight classes, starting with his entry as a middleweight on the first season of The Ultimate Fighter. His greatest success came as a lightweight, where he spent the majority of his career, scoring victories over top competition like Joe Lauzon, Roger Huerta, Joe Stevenson, Clay Guida, and Takanori Gomi, and competing for the lightweight title twice. Most recently, he made a run at the featherweight belt, losing a unanimous decision to Jose Aldo at UFC 136. Here’s how he explained his decision to walk away:

“I’ve dealt with injuries in the past, and back in November I was back into training and hurt my back working out, and it just hasn’t quite been the same. Been dealing with it, been trying to get back and doing rehab and things like that, and a few weeks ago I kind of re-injured it again. So it’s been tough, man, I haven’t been able to train, and I’ve always been that person, I don’t want to do anything half-assed. If I’m going to train for a fight, if I’m going to train doing what I’m doing, I want to be able to do it 100%, and if I’m not able to do those things, I can’t really do it. So it’s been several months, it’s been very, very hard. Your identity becomes what you do, and it’s been tough.”