11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

August, 2012

Turns Out, Cris Cyborg Was Figuratively Dicknailed by CSAC Prior to the Rousey/Kaufman Fight


(WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOAMING OF THE MOUTH ALLOWED IN THIS ARENA?!)

You might recall that in the immediate aftermath of Ronda Rousey’s win over Sarah Kaufman last weekend, “Rowdy” called out former women’s featherweight champion Cris Cyborg. Unlike past Strikeforce events, Cyborg was not allowed to enter the ring and cause a full-fledged riot for our entertainment, and in fact was actually removed from her seat in the audience before the fight even started.

Why, you ask? Well, it turns out that the California State Athletic Commission has a rule declaring that any fighter under a current suspension is not allowed inside to be at a professional mixed martial arts event. Cyborg shared your current confusion while she was being removed form the audience, telling Tatame in a recent interview:

I watched all fights but on the last one, Ronda’s, a woman working on the event came to tell me I had to leave because the commission doesn’t accept suspended athletes on the shows. My manager talked to the guys at the commission and there’s really a law that says that.

I was upset for the way they treated me. They could’ve pulled me on a corner and told me, not in front of the fans. I was taking pictures and they interrupted me, saying I had to go. It was very disrespectful. I believe a champion deserves to be treated with respect. Everyone knows an athlete’s life isn’t easy, so all fighters deserve respect. When I was in Brazil I watched UFC and there was no problem.

An odd rule indeed, made all the more unusual by the fact that the commission decided to wait until the main event to inform Cyborg that she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place, which is the equivalent of letting a homeless man wander into your dinner party uninvited and waiting until the nightcap to kick him out.

More news on the Cyborg/Rousey match is after the jump.

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Must-See Video: Real Crime Documents Lee Murray & Britain’s Biggest Heist

It might take Real Crime’s documentary on the biggest cash heist in British history some thirty minutes to get to former UFC fighter Lee Murray, but that doesn’t make it any less entertaining. Detailing the intricate, if not mismanaged, raid of the Medway cash depot in Kent, South East England on February 22nd, 2006, Real Crime provides an enthralling look back at the whos, wheres, and hows of the meticulously planned heist unlike any other documentary in recent memory.

Managing to get interviews with everyone from Colin Dixon, the manager of the depot who was held hostage along with his family and coworkers, to Dave O’Donnell, an English fight promoter who simply cannot speak highly enough of Murray despite the evidence at hand, this documentary labels Murray “the mastermind” behind the entire escapade, which resulted in the theft of over 53 million pounds (84 million dollars). Murray and his gang utilized prosthetic masks, fake police uniforms, hidden cameras, and an arsenal of weapons that would make the cast of Predator blush to pull off their crime, only to be caught within the four months that followed it. Murray was sentenced to 10 years in Moroccan prison for his role in the heist, where he managed to pull off an even greater one: fathering a child and skipping out on the alimony payments LIKE A BOSS.

Unfortunately, the documentary fails to provide any insight regarding “Lightning’s” back alley brawl with Tito Ortiz, which is what we all really want to know about. But check out the video above, which features several highlights from Murray’s fight with Anderson Silva, and learn yourself something new. Who knows, maybe you can use this information to one day pull off an even greater robbery and actually get away with it. May the force be with you.

After the jump: A full video of Murray vs. Silva, because we’ve got to make this MMA-related somehow.

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Hot Potato: 16 Photos of Model/Fighter Jenae Noonan


(Props: Faline Photography. Click for full-size version.)

Jenae “Turbo” Noonan is an MMA fighter, kickboxer, boxer, model, motivational speaker, and vegan, who returns to competition on October 13th, when she’ll be representing the U.S.A. at the next World Sports MMA tournament in Moscow. According to this new Babes of MMA interview, Noonan got involved in MMA when she moved into a house with UFC vets Javier Vasquez and Gabe Ruediger, who took her to their gyms and started working with her. Currently based in Pomona, California, the foxy redhead works out at the King of Kings boxing gym in Covina, the UFC Gym in Rosemead, and the University of La Verne for strength and conditioning.

Check out some of our favorite Jenae Noonan photos in the gallery below, and if you want to see more, visit her on Facebook, Twitter, and ModelMayhem. And if you’re really feeling generous, donate a few bucks for her upcoming trip to Russia!

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Will Dan Henderson Become the Light Heavyweight G.O.A.T. If He Beats Jon Jones?


(Pic Props: MMA Photoshops)

By Jason Moles and Doug “ReX” Richardson

Before the ink on the contract dried, MMA fans began debating if Dan “Hendo” Henderson would become the greatest light heavyweight champion of all time should he beat Jon “Bones” Jones at UFC 151. While that is certainly entertaining water cooler fodder, I’m not so sure it’s a conversation we’re even allowed to have at this point. Remember the old Ric Flair maxim, “To be the man, you gotta beat the man.” Are you certain that Jones is the man? Before you get all up in arms about the perceived blasphemy, consider this: legacies are not born overnight. A legacy is built over years of dominance — after much blood, sweat and tears have been spilled. Although both Jones and Henderson were nominated for being the Best American Fighter in MMA History, I still wasn’t convinced the winner of the fight would automatically reach GOAT status. That’s where Rex comes in. Join us, won’t you, as we banter back and forth over a couple of cold ones…

Alright Rex, before we go any further let’s settle this one small thing: Who is the current holder of the “Greatest Light Heavyweight Champ of All Time?”

RX: Well, technically speaking, Dan Henderson has only held a light-heavyweight championship once: in Strikeforce, for like five minutes before he said “Deuce, bitches” and bulked up to heavyweight. While I think we all agree that a Strikeforce title doesn’t count because LOLOL, the fact remains that Hendo is making a strong argument for true GOAT status, not just as a light heavy, but as a fighter, period.

JM: For me, it’s gotta be Chuck Liddell. His record speaks for itself, but we’ll get to that in a minute. When you think of UFC, you almost immediately think of Liddell. Why do you suppose that is? I’ll tell you — it’s because he was the sport’s first crossover star. The Hall of Famer and former light heavyweight champion “wrote” a best-selling autobiography, made numerous television and movie cameos, and was the first UFC fighter to appear on the cover of ESPN the Magazine. When I think of greatness, I think big-picture, in and out of the Octagon.

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Society Is Imploding: Three Delaware Daycare Workers Arrested for Inciting Toddler Fight Club


(I met three women with these blank, emotionless faces and…the blackest eyes. The devil’s eyes. Props to our buddies at FilmDrunk for the find.)

It’s pretty common knowledge that most of the writers here at CP have a particularly dark sense of humor. We talk about death around the water cooler with the casual, nonchalant attitude that coworkers in normal society exude when discussing TPS reports or last night’s episode of The Big Bang Theory. Our hearts are basically filled with obsidian, which we write off as a coping mechanism to deal the disintegrating society in which we live.

But apparently we don’t even hold a candle to the ladies running the Hands of Our Future Daycare in Dover, Delaware, who were recently arrested for staging, then recording, a fight between two three-year old children who had been dropped off at the daycare center earlier that morning.

Sound familiar?

Full story after the jump. 

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And Now He’s Fired (Again): Miguel Torres Released by UFC, Signs With Titan FC


(True story.)

As a wise man once tweeted, “everyone likes surprises.” Nevertheless, Miguel Torres probably didn’t enjoy the surprise he got recently when he found out that he had been cut for the second time by the UFC. Torres confirmed on his official website that he was handed his walking papers following his first-round knockout loss against rising star Michael McDonald at UFC 145. The firing follows a temporary release in December, which Torres caught for rape-joke-related offenses.

At one point the most dominant bantamweight in the history of the sport, Torres ends his UFC stint with an underwhelming record of 2-2, including decision wins over Antonio Banuelos and Nick Pace, and losses to McDonald and Demetrious Johnson. Prior to that, Torres spent three fruitful years in the WEC, where he won the promotion’s 135-pound belt and successfully defended it three times before a pair of stoppage losses to Brian Bowles and Joseph Benavidez permanently dethroned him.

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Frankie Edgar Faces Reality, Will Drop to Featherweight for Next Fight


(Props: fueltv)

Following his second heartbreaking decision loss to Ben Henderson, former UFC lightweight champion Frankie Edgar has made the decision to drop to featherweight. The news was broken by Ariel Helwani yesterday on FUEL TV’s UFC Tonight. Since he reportedly walks around at less than 160 pounds, it’ll be a much more competitive division for Edgar, who has generally been out-sized in the Octagon, sometimes significantly. Of course, when Edgar began his UFC career in February 2007, featherweight wasn’t even an option.

Edgar is looking at December for his 145-pound debut, against an opponent to be named later. Though Frankie will likely have to win at least one fight before getting a crack at the title, featherweight champion Jose Aldo — who fights Erik Koch in October — is already laying the groundwork for a heated rivalry. As “Scarface” told Tatame:

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Don’t Worry, You Guys, Chael Sonnen is At Least Two Wins Away From a Title Shot at 205


(Realizing his impending doom, Chael signaled to his wife that her weekly sandwich quota would be doubling in the near future.) 

When it was originally announced that Chael Sonnen would be returning to the light heavyweight division to face Forrest Griffin at UFC 155, we took it as a classic case of a fighter changing weight classes in order to save his career. He had come up short in both his title shots at middleweight, and as Josh Koscheck would tell you if he was aware of it, the chances of any 0-2 fighter receiving a third shot against the same champion is next to impossible. And being that Chael fraking Sonnen is not a man who fights anything but marquee fights these days, his chances to make waves at 205 were clearly better than his chances at 185. The fact that he could barely even make the announcement without drawing Jon Jones into a Twitter war only confirms Sonnen’s devious intentions.

And as is usually the case, Chael was successful in drawing us out of the woodwork to throw his name in with the phrase “title shot,” whether it was in agreement or bitter disapproval of the idea. Because Sonnen is like the entire cast of a heist movie packed into one person when it comes to hustling in the MMA game, capable of releasing more red herrings, smoke signals, and false MacGuffins than Ocean’s Eleven through Thirteen combined. Hell, I immediately launched into a vast conspiracy theory in which Sonnen became the number one contender and Jones possibly faked injury in order to set up a fight between them down the line.

But I live in a world of paranoia, delusion, and fear. One that apparently many of you are living in as well, because in a recent appearance on Las Vegas’ “Dave and Mahoney” show, Dana White addressed the concerns that a lot of us are sharing, another undeserved title shot for Sonnen.

Dana’s remarks are after the jump. 

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Following Dramatic Victory Over Julie Kedzie, Miesha Tate Vows to “Take a Step Back” From MMA

Miesha Tate hot MMA fighter sexy photos photo gallery Strikeforce
(Well, at least she has looking hot in front of a camera as a fallback career.) 

Although the main card of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman card provided most of the evening’s highlights, you would be hard pressed to find an MMA site that didn’t declare Miesha Tate’s come-from-behind win (insert puns now) over Julie Kedzie to be the most exciting fight of the evening. Despite being rocked on various occasions and almost ending up as the first entry in the head-kick-nip-slip Hall of Fame, Tate was able to brave the storm and score an armbar victory of her own late in the third round.

But up until that point, it was plain to see that there was clearly something a little off about the former title holder. Her combinations came few and far between, and her takedown attempts seemed to be lacking a certain gusto that they had previously held. While part of this could be attributed to the toughness of Kedzie, who has been training at Greg Jackson’s gym for some time now (and is in fact his personal assistant), an equal amount could just as easily be blamed on Tate’s somewhat lackadaisical attitude in the cage on Saturday night.

The fact that she still managed to pull off an amazing, gritty win over a tough opponent despite this only shows what caliber of fighter Tate truly is, but according to the source herself, we might not be seeing “Cupcake” in action for a while. In a recent interview with Ariel Helwani during The MMA Hour, Tate explained that she simply “didn’t feel the passion and fire that [she] had felt in her previous fights” when facing Kedzie:

I felt out of my element, I didn’t feel normal in there whatsoever. It was very strange, it was not a feeling I enjoyed and not something I want to experience again, I don’t really know what my next step is here. Even when I was when lined up with Julie, across the cage, I was like, ‘Is this really happening right now? Am I really here? Am I really in this fight?’ I felt like I was kind of just in this twilight zone. I did not like that. It’s not how I normally feel, not how emotions really run. Normally I’m excited to be there, I’m amped and pumped, and I felt little to nothing, and I mean, she literally elbowed me and got my lip really good and I was like ‘ehh, whatever.’ She kicked me in the face, ‘ehh, whatever,’ It was not, it wasn’t a normal circumstance for me I don’t know why that is but I’m asking myself a lot of questions. I think I need to take a step back, relax a minute, and evaluate it. 

More from this interview is after the jump.

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Nevada Secretary of State Ross Miller Wins Amateur MMA Bout, Retires From Sport [LIKE A BOSS]


(Props: CNN.com)

Well this is a welcome change of pace — a politician who not only understands and supports MMA, but is gutsy enough to step into the cage and try it for himself. The story of Nevada Secretary of State Ross Miller‘s amateur MMA debut/retirement has been sweeping the Internet since last night. The 36-year-old Democrat and Las Vegas native grew up around Nevada’s combat sports scene, became a fan of the UFC, and began training in MMA a few years ago. The sport became “an absolute passion” for Miller, who spent the last year preparing for his first amateur fight.

That fight went down this past Saturday night at the World Fighting Championships‘ “MMA at the Lake” event in South Lake Tahoe, where the 6’4″ Miller competed in a light-heavyweight match against an opponent named Jamal Williams. As a favor to the Secretary of State, the match was kept a secret by WFC promoter Matt McGovern. And while Miller eventually came away with a second-round TKO victory, the fight didn’t exactly go as planned. As Miller explained to MMAJunkie:

It was much different than sparring,” Miller admitted. “I froze a little bit. I had a tough time letting my hands go. I didn’t teep at all, which I usually do in sparring. I threw very few kicks. The gameplan was to set up a couple of punches and maybe a leg kick and take him down and try to submit him because he didn’t appear to have much jiu-jitsu. That’s not how the first round worked out at all.

At the end of the first round, my cornerman came in, and I asked him, ‘Where’s the stool?’ He said, ‘There is no stool.’ I said, ‘You didn’t think this was going to go to the second round?’ He said, ‘I think you just need to relax, breathe and start listening to us because you’re scaring the hell out of us’”…

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