infomercial fail gifs
21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

August, 2012

Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Kaufman: Full Strikeforce Fight Video


(Props: jd45681 via fightvideomma. If this one goes down, there’s a backup after the jump.)

To quote ourselves: We’re not going to give away the winner of Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Kaufman, but let’s just say it ended by armbar in the first round. Goodness gracious. If you missed our liveblog of tonight’s Strikeforce card, click here.

Read More DIGG THIS

Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman — Live Results & Commentary


(“You want to go somewhere else? That creepy fat guy has been staring at us all night.” / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more pics from this set, click here.)

Tonight, we’re gonna have ourselves a real good time, we feel ali-hi-hi-hiiiive. Ronda Rousey — the lightning-rod heel-champion of women’s MMA — will attempt to defend her Strikeforce 135-pound title against former champ Sarah Kaufman, most likely by first-round armbar. (The winner will face Cris Cyborg immediately afterwards in the parking lot.) Before that, we’ve got a bunch of men’s fights that seem way less interesting by comparison. For instance, former Strikeforce middleweight champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza is in the co-main event spot against 9-1 middleweight Derek “The Human Blanket (!)” Brunson, while Tarec Saffiedine, Roger Bowling, Lumumba Sayers, and Ovince St. Preux round out the crew of featured fighters who you might have heard of before.

Handling the thankless job of spelling out all these names in tonight’s liveblog is CagePotato weekend warrior Anthony Gannon, who will be providing round-by-round results from the Showtime main card broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest and please make your presence known in the comments section.

Read More DIGG THIS

Jon Jones Doesn’t Want to Fight Lyoto Machida, if That’s Cool with Everyone


Five rounds against Machida could save you five percent or more on UFC PPVs.

As flawless as UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones has looked inside the Octagon, he’s looked just as imperfect outside of it. There’s his unchecked arrogance, his “You never have to worry about me with a DWI or doing something crazy” comment just weeks before his DUI arrest and his brutal honesty about potential opponents. Basically, Jon Jones does everything in his power outside of the cage to make it hard for most fans to celebrate his in-sport accomplishments.

Which is why most of you won’t be too surprised to learn that just two weeks before his Light-Heavyweight title defense against the legendary Dan Henderson at UFC 151, Jones had some pretty harsh words for his next opponent, Lyoto Machida. In an interview with ESPN.com, Jones stated that “The Dragon” doesn’t deserve a rematch with him, not so much because he isn’t a competent fighter, but because Machida won’t get the fans to buy pay-per-views. In his own words:

“I don’t want to fight Lyoto Machida. He was my lowest pay-per-view draw of last year. No one wants to see me fight Lyoto Machida. I don’t want to fight Lyoto again. Lyoto is high risk and low reward. He’s a tough fighter, but no one wants to buy that fight.

Quote continued after the jump

Read More DIGG THIS

*UPDATED* UFC Flyweight Contender Ian McCall Arrested

A community news and forum, Stu News Laguna reported Friday that UFC flyweight Ian McCall was arrested last Tuesday on some strange, if relatively benign, charges including “possession of narcotic paraphernalia, possession of prescription meds without a valid prescription, and driving on a suspended license,” after undercover DEA agents spotted him. According to a later report from MMA Weekly, however, McCall’s manager Jason House says that McCall’s arrest happened a bit differently and with different charges.

“According to House, McCall was driving home on Tuesday when an unmarked police car recognized his vehicle from past occurrences and pulled him over.  The police ran McCall’s plates and they found an outstanding warrant in his name,” MMA Weekly reported.

“The warrant stemmed from a ticket issued in June for McCall driving under a suspended license.  McCall apparently paid the fines, but did not make a scheduled court appearance due to a miscommunication and a warrant was issued.”

Read More DIGG THIS

Watch the ‘Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman’ Weigh-Ins Right Here at 6:45 p.m. ET / 3:45 p.m PT


(Yeah, and Sarah Kaufman scored the cover of Respectful Canadians Weekly, but does anyone seem to care? Nooooooo.)

While we don’t expect the kind of forehead-jockeying that Ronda Rousey got into with Miesha Tate back in March, it’ll be interesting to see what kind of shape the Strikeforce bantamweight champion is in going into her title defense against Sarah Kaufman tomorrow night. You can watch the weigh-ins for the entire Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman card in the player after the jump, live from San Diego. The first fighter will hit the scale at 6:45 p.m. ET / 3:45 p.m PT. Let us know what you think. Here, we’ll give you a discussion topic: The male fighters are a complete afterthought for this event — does that say more about the progress of women in MMA, or the supporting card‘s utter mediocrity?

Read More DIGG THIS

Chael Sonnen vs. Forrest Griffin: Head-to-Head


(Just bide your time, Chael, he’s gonna walk right into that kneebar any second now.) 

The current betting line on Forrest Griffin vs. Chael Sonnen is downright insane.

Say what you want about how Griffin has looked in the octagon as of late (Seriously, do it. Here are a few adjective suggestions: sluggish, apathetic, hairy, manic-depressive), but even we couldn’t have seen this coming. When it was announced a few days ago that Sonnen would making his return to 205 lbs at UFC 155 against FoGriff after being tarred and feathered coming up short in his rematch with Anderson Silva, we expected that he would open as a small favorite with the former Light Heavyweight champ, if not even. Despite Griffin’s aforementioned lack of firepower lately, especially considering he was riding the TRT train for his last bout, Forrest is pretty massive for a light heavyweight, and you know, already beat Sonnen once before. There is also the fact that Sonnen’s last fight in the UFC at light heavyweight ended in submission (you know which one), and that Griffin managed to catch him with that exact same submission in their first, etc…

In either case, we were dead wrong.

Currently, BestFightOdds has Sonnen listed at an even -300 over Griffin, which must be based entirely on their respective performances against Anderson Silva, with Sonnen lasting roughly six and a half rounds and Griffin lasting roughly three and a half minutes. But those were a long three and a half minutes, you guys, like watching the puppy you got for Christmas fall through the ice in your Grandma’s pond and drown in slow motion…on that very same Christmas.

Needless to say, if this blatant disrespect doesn’t light a fire under Griffin’s ass, nothing will. We feel like we’ve typed that a lot lately.

Is that line as bad as we’re making it out to be? Join us after the jump for a good old fashioned head-to-head breakdown to see if our outrage is justified.

Read More DIGG THIS

Friday Link Dump: Sarah Kaufman’s Title Fight Prep, Gina Carano’s Newest Co-Star, Front-Butts + More


(Is there anything that Nick Newell can’t do? NO EYE CONTACT! Props: TheRealClayHenry via Karmaatemycat)

- Kedzie Overcame Eating Disorder to Become Women’s MMA Contender (SI.com)

Javier Mendez Says “The Team Got Stronger After Koscheck Left” (Fightline)

Why Chael Sonnen At Light Heavyweight is Great for MMA (HeavyMMA)

- Sarah Kaufman Training Camp Journal [VIDEO] (MMAFighting)

- The Rock and Gina Carano on the Set of ‘Fast 6′ (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- GSP: “I Didn’t Have the Drive Anymore, I Lost a Little Bit of Love for MMA” (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Celebrities With Front Butts [GALLERY] (WorldWideInterweb)

Bryce Harper Tells Kids to ‘Be as Sexy as You Can’ (TerezOwens)

Amazing Photos of Lightning Storms Over 25 Cities (EgoTV)

- Official Trailer for ‘Ghost Tits,’ Starring Olivia Munn (TurdFergusonBlog)

How To Break Up With Class (I.E. Not Discuss What An Emotional Vampire Your Ex Was) (MadeMan)

Can Long-Distance Travel Make You Sick? (MensFitness)

- The Six Saddest Places Penises Have Had to Be Freed From (HolyTaco)

Read More DIGG THIS

[VIDEO] Michael Bisping Talks TRT and God Damn It, We Actually Agree With Him


(I don’t always accuse Hector Lombard of using steroids, but when I do, I make this face.)  

Potato Nation, I feel like I should say something in regards to Michael Bisping, because it seems that every time we poke fun at the bloke, a few of you get all butt hurt and call us wankers or poofters before begging your mothers to kiss the wound and make it all better. You claim that we are biased against British people, and though we have every right to be, this is simply not the case.

So here’s the deal; I personally have nothing against you Brits. I find your accents to be glorious, dignified, and far more soothing on the ear to than the slack jawed “wickid aaawesomes” New England has to offer. I love the The Inbetweeners, Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown Ale, Ricky Gervais, and a platter of Bangers and Mash as much as the rest of you probably do, if not more. As a matter of fact, I don’t even hate Michael Bisping. Sure, the guy is a dick by all accounts, but I can’t really claim to hate someone that I’ve never met before. I’m simply not that cynical, and I’m sure the same goes for my fellow writers. But this is CagePotato. We make jokes here. And we just happen to enjoy targeting guys like Bisping, Josh Koscheck, fat BJ Penn, and Dana White, because we enjoy picking the lowest hanging fruit. We good now? Alright, let’s move on.

The reason I give this disclaimer is due to the fact that Bisping recently sat down with Mauro Ranallo for a lengthy interview a month out from his UFC 152 fight with “All American” Brian Stann. We know, you’re thinking we’re going to set him up for a punchline here, but that is not the case today. Everything from the current injury curse to Hector Lombard’s dud of a debut was discussed, but it was when they came to the issue of TRT that Bisping actually made an argument that we could get behind. Our buddies over at MiddleEasy shared our concern. Granted, Bisping had to reduce most of his argument to the crudest terms available, but that doesn’t make it wrong:

I think it’s absolute nonsense, rubbish, bullshit. Listen, we all get old, we all grow up, you know? At some point, as you start getting older, your balls don’t work as well and you don’t make as much testosterone, but, that’s life and you deal with it. A guy that is 40-years old doesn’t make as much testosterone as a 21-year old so he gets an exemption certificate to say, ‘So now we will give him as much testosterone as a 21-year old.’ Well, what about me, I’m 33 (years of age), I’m not making the same amount as a 21-year old, but I make more than a 40-year old.

Where do we draw the line? It’s nonsense.

After the jump: The full interview, wherein Bisping accuses Lombard of steroid use, calls Mark Munoz fat, and says he’s “gonna knock the fucker out” when discussing Stann. And the world returned to normal.

Read More DIGG THIS

Submit Your Questions for Don Frye’s New Interview Series on CagePotato.com!


(Right back atcha, buddy!)

CagePotato.com — the site that brought you “Ask Gary,” “Ask Dan,” and “Ask Carmen” — is pleased to announce our next celebrity correspondent. We’ve secured the talents of legendary MMA brawler/actor/commentator/relationship counselor Don Frye for a weekly interview series that will begin later this month. And we’re going to try* it a little different this time; instead of a written mailbag column, we’re going to organize an interactive video podcast where you can ask Don questions yourself, face to face.

But first, let’s seed this little garden with some questions to start off with. If you have anything you’d like to ask Don, please toss your questions in the comments section below. From his early UFC career, to his classic battles in Japan, to his beef with Dana White, to his alleged sexual assault of Rob Schneider, nothing is off limits. Thanks so much, and brace yourselves. More details about our Ask Don broadcasts will arrive next week. In the meantime, follow check out Don’s official web site, thepredatordonfrye.com.

* Pending our own technological capabilities. I mean, you remember how shaky this kind of thing was last time.

Read More DIGG THIS

Quote of the Day: Ronda Rousey Seeks Murder, Dismemberment Against Sarah Kaufman


(From left to right: Ronda Rousey, Blaze Ya Dead Homie. / Ronda image via CombatLifestyle)

With her Strikeforce title defense against Sarah Kaufman coming up this weekend, Ronda Rousey’s latest bit of fight-hype was so violently over-the-top that it made Frank Mir look downright sportsmanlike in comparison. Here’s what Rowdy told reporters during yesterday’s Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman press conference:

Sarah Kaufman should be thanking her lucky stars that MMA is properly regulated in California. I respect her so much that I’m not taking any chances: If i get her in an armbar I’m going to try and rip it off and throw it at her corner, if I get her in a choke I’m going to hold it until she’s actually dead. And if I get a knockout I’m going to actually try and pound her face into the ground. She’s relying on the competence of the California athletic commission to walk out of that cage alive. That has nothing to do with whether I like her or respect her, she seems like a nice chick, but I go into every fight like my little sister’s life is depending on it. And in that kind of situation, no one can ever beat me.”

Wow. If this fighting thing doesn’t work out, Ronda might have a future as an artist signed to Psychopathic Records. Luckily, Kaufman was relatively cool and insightful about the whole thing, saying:

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA