(From the guys who brought you Shockfights, Wheelchair MMA, and Ultimate Ball, comes the latest fighting craze to hit the UK: Narcoleptic Kickboxing.)  

Q: How do you know it’s a slow news day in the MMA world?

A: When CagePotato covers Jon Fitch interviewzzzz.

Now that we’ve all had time to digest that bit of heartbreaking news, I’ll be bringing you the sweetest knockouts from around the globe for the rest of the day, whether they be of the MMA variety, the kickboxing variety, or of the “two fat dudes throwing down for the right to the last spoonful of gravy” variety. Today’s next knockout comes to us from Los Angeles’ Memorial Sports Arena, which recently played host to the K-1 Rising 2012 US Grand Prix qualifying tournament and featured everyone from Kit Cope to Seth Petruzelli in action. With names like that, K-1 should at least be able to secure a better time slot than Manswers on the Spike TV lineup, right?

Anyways, the “Superfight” phase of the night began with a match pitting Japan’s Shuichi Wentz against American Romie Adanza. While saying that the fight ended in eerily similar fashion to the Tater Williams/Bond Laupua slugfest we witnessed this morning would be blasphemy, both fights did end in less than a minute and with one of the participants putting “five of these across the sneeze” of the other. And in both cases, those five things were toes rather than fingers, so do what you want with that.

But the big difference here was that we were not treated to a hilarious, dubstep(?) soundtracked “Dangler Alert” once one of the fighters was knocked out. Instead, we got to sit back and watch Adanza topple over like a fallen oak and then convulse like a caveman who had just been freed from an iceberg.

You tell us which is more entertaining.

Video after the jump.

(Once again proving our theory that you could make a badass highlight reel based on *anybody.*)

Throughout his seven year career in the UFC, Jon Fitch has been one of the most consistent fighters in the sport. He rarely diverges from his grinding, top-control based gameplan. He usually goes the distance in his fights — including one stretch when he went to the judges in nine consecutive contests. And like him or not, the vast majority of his fights have ended with his hand raised.

But after a controversial draw against BJ Penn, a 12-second knockout loss to Johny Hendricks, and a series of injuries, Fitch is the most precarious position of his career, both financially and competitively. Temporarily bumped out of the welterweight title “mix,” Fitch has no idea when his next title shot will come — especially since fans aren’t exactly clamoring to see him get that chance. Here’s what he said about his situation recently, in a rant session with FCFighter.com:

“There’s no system for picking number one contenders. There’s no order, there’s no lineup, there’s no point system. It’s just whoever they feel they’re going to make the most money off of. That’s who gets the title shot. It kind of sucks, because in other sports there’s kind of a clear path; you do this, this and this, and you get this. That’s just not the way combat sports work I guess. It doesn’t work that way with boxing or the UFC. It comes down to showmanship. I have to be a better showman to get a title shot. I don’t have to be a better fighter I just have to be a better showman.”

(Personally, I think this is a reasonable reaction.) 

We don’t mean to judge a book by it’s cover, but when that cover is a 327 lb man who goes by the name Tater Williams, it’s safe to say that he will more than likely end up on the wrong side of a knockout. Scratch that, a 327 lb dude named Tater Williams should most certainly end up on the RIGHT side of a knockout if anything. His name is freaking TATER FREAKING WILLIAMS, and he uses catchphrases like “Five of these across the sneeze,” and “You’re gonna get that about 147 times” in between asthmatic gasps for air. “That” being the aforementioned sneeze punches. Throw in the fact that Tater is apparently “a really great athlete” who has studied judo, wrestling, sambo, and had a high school wrestling record of 226-12* and Tater is not only looking like a well-rounded Goliath, but a man who could decimate Junior Dos Santos, Cain Velasquez, and Alistair Overeem without batting an eye. At the same time. While in a diabetic coma.

Sadly, things do go quite according to plan (have they ever, really?) in the next chapter of the XARM saga, a sport so hilariously misguided that it really makes you yearn for the subtle nuances of wheelchair MMA. In today’s contest, Tater finds himself matched up against the slightly slimmer Bond Laupua (I swear to God I am not making these names up), who is quick to admit that “I don’t really have a strategy” heading into the fight. The announcers inform us that Tater’s gameplan was to gain weight. HOW DID HE LOSE THIS.

Join us after the jump to see two bears wrestle over a jar of honey until one falls down. 

Fightlinker gives us the heads-up that Australian models Kahili Blundell and Kristie Jane McKeon have been hired as ring girls for the UFC’s upcoming Australia vs. U.K. season of The Ultimate Fighter (aka “The Smashes“). As it turns out, Kristie McKeon is the girlfriend of Smashes coach Ross Pearson, which means that on-set hooting directed at the blonde fitness instructor will probably be kept to a minimum.

In honor of Pearson’s impressive accomplishment, we’ve rounded up 16 great photos of Kristie, which you can check out in the gallery after the jump. If you like what you see, follow Kristie on twitter for more. The Smashes debuts this Wednesday on FX Australia and ESPN UK.

(If you don’t tune in to see this guy put his shoulder through some drywall, then you’re just not a real fan.)

As first reported by MMAJunkie, Friday’s debut episode of The Ultimate Fighter 16: Team Carwin vs. Team Nelson drew just 947,000 viewers on FX. That number makes it the worst-performing premiere episode in the history of TUF, and marks a 27% drop from the 1.3 million viewers who watched the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Live in March.

And while we’re piling on abuse, 947k viewers means that TUF 16‘s first episode is tied for the fourth-lowest-rated episode in the history of the show; only the 8th, 11th, and 12th episodes of last season did worse. That’s particularly bad news when you consider that premieres are generally the highest-rated episodes of each TUF season — aside from the Kimbo Exception — with the ratings numbers gradually sinking afterwards.

So how low will the numbers sink this season, and how long will it take before the total viewership drops below the show’s all-time bottom of 821k? Cue Dana White rant about how they got this [expletive] thing dialed in, and FX is actually really happy with the numbers. Come on guys. Put this sick dog out of its misery.

(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

(Benavidez REALLY lets Bisping have it at the 4:05 mark. That is sarcasm, by the way.)

It used to simply surprise me each time someone raced to defend the actions of Michael Bisping after we had given him the public tongue-lashing he so rightfully deserved, be it for his coaching exploits, his insistence on insulting every middleweight he comes across, or his general dickishness when alcohol is involved. His supporters, whom I can only assume are as crass, doltish, and incoherent as the subject at hand, often label us “anti-British,” because clearly Bisping’s ancestry is at the forefront of our issues with the guy, not the relentless douchbaggery he displays at every conceivable opportunity. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that no matter how sound a given argument is, there will always be a minority rallying against it. It’s why Old Dad was recently lambasted by the readers over at MMAJunkie for declaring that Brock Lesnar and all 8 of his professional fights had not earned him a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame because he had helped the sport get some fans (bring it on, bitches!). And it’s undoubtedly why some of you — for God knows what reason — will always be quick to defend the hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni known as Count Bisping (seriously, BRING IT ON!).

Take his recent squabble with the UFC’s flyweight division, for instance. With no clear motivation (other than being billed below them at UFC 152), Bisping decided to launch into a diatribe aimed at the 125-pounders, declaring that “no one cares about little flyweights.” Bisping continued his attack at the UFC 152 press conference, where, when forced to deal with a response from Joseph Benavidez, stated that “when you were a glint in your dad’s eye, I was kicking ass in the UFC,” which makes sense because AGE IS DETERMINED BY HEIGHT AND WEIGHT AND THAT’S IT SHUT UP. Benavidez, along with most of us who can subtract 28 from 33, dismissed Bisping’s comments as “ridiculous” and moved on. However, when Benavidez was asked by teammate Urijah Faber in the “fighter diary” above if he thought he hit harder than Bisping, he nonchalantly declared that yes, he believed he did.

This was the kind of insolence that Bisping would simply not tolerate.

After the jump: Bisping’s response, which is as eloquently phrased and intelligent as Winston Churchill’s epic pwnage of Nancy Astor.

(“Ronda, do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong body? Like, maybe your real gender isn’t the one that everybody sees? Oh. Okay. No, I don’t either, I was just asking. Hey, look, Pinkberry.”)

You can tell when UFC president Dana White is excited, because he swears slightly more than he usually does. Here’s what he had to say last week about his recent platonic play-date with Ronda Rousey (via MMAFighting):

“I took Ronda Rousey to the Sons of Anarchy premiere the other day. And you know how Hollywood premieres are with (expletive) people lined up and down the streets. You got the red carpet. So we pull up and you got all the Sons guys, and all the celebrities that are there from FX TV shows. We got out of the car and the whole (expletive) place started screaming ‘Ronda, Ronda, Ronda,’ like (expletive) crazy. Like a (expletive) Kardashian got out of the car. I was like holy (expletive) (expletive) this girl is right there.

“She’s a (expletive) unique individual. She’s like a Diaz brother. She really is. Inside like a (expletive) dude trapped in this beautiful body. The reason I got interested in women’s MMA is because of her…everyone is like it’s cause she’s good-looking and ‘Dana blah-blah.’ Gina Carano is good-looking too. She’s very pretty. There’s (expletive) something different about Ronda Rousey.

(Skip to 1:05 for the bad stuff.)

As you can tell, this new Invicta 3 promo starring Michelle Waterson defies normal headline writing. We could call it amateurish and weird, and more cheap ammo for the Jon Jones haters, but that would be dismissive. Personally, I think it’s a clever parody of how female fights are promoted, and how discussion of Waterson almost always focuses on her “Karate Hottie” persona, rather than her fearsome skills as a fighter. And so, the female athlete gets a moment in the spotlight, while the boys in the gym — some of whom are much, much more famous than Waterson — are reduced to scantily-clad eye-candy.

I mean, you have to believe that this video is trying to make some kind of statement, right? Otherwise, how the hell would you explain it? When Michelle and Greg Jackson were spitballing viral video ideas in his office, did Jones pop his head in and say, “I FEEL LIKE I COULD MAKE A GOOD RING GIRL, LIKE MAYBE THE BEST RING GIRL EVER, EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS, PHILIPPIANS YOU GUYS”? Really, does that sound like the Jon Jones you know?

The real star of this clip is obviously UFC heavyweight Travis Browne, who sells the shit out of his role as “ring girl #2.” Gotta love the blown-kiss at 1:18, and his celebratory hop at 1:31. The guy has clearly mastered the art form. So does this mean Arianny will try to get him fired now?

(Think that’s risky? Try downing three cans of NOS in a row.)

When an athlete like Georges St. Pierre signs with a major product like the Coca Cola-owned NOS Energy Drink, there’s a couple directions we can go in bringing you the news. The most obvious angle is that the news of GSP signing with a prominent brand like NOS is yet another coup for him personally, and possibly for mixed martial arts on the whole, because it signifies another step towards mainstream acceptance and will expose the sports to scores of new potential fans, blah blah blah, etc.

All that is nice, but what sticks in my craw is that I can’t imagine St. Pierre actually choking down that toxic go-go juice in real life. We hope that the deal nets GSP loads of cash and we’re truly happy for him; he seems like a nice dude and is the epitome of what a top-notch professional MMA fighter should be. That said, what are the chances that the health-conscious welterweight champion gets his energy edge from the same caffeinated sugar-water that your 15 year-old cousin uses to stay awake during all-night Halo marathons?

(“OK, Ms. Celeste, we want this calendar to reflect both your future and your past, which is why I’m going to need you to kick in the window of that Ferrari for this next shot.”)

Allow me to take you through my thought process whilst attempting to determine a worthy enough post this morning:

OK, Jared, another weekend, another dead hooker in the trunk, but that’s not important, you must focus on an MMA-related topic for the time being…let’s see here, Nick Ring has his next fight booked against Constantinos Philippou at UFC 154, but no one cares about that………dammit, Latisha, you just had to threaten to call Big Ron again, didn’t you?! Focus, focus…uh…Marloes Coenen said Ronda Rousey has “no balls”…I suppose that is true, but not really newsworthy, because bitches be crazy, right Latisha? *attempts high five, receives no response*….think Jared, what would the Potato Nation like to start their Monday off with? *looks over to Latisha once again*…TITS. Of course, it’s so obvious! Time to break out the lime, I mean computer, and get started!

So while it may not be all that significant that a behind-the-scenes video of Arianny Celeste’s 2013 Calendar shoot was recently released online, please trust that this is probably the most captivating bit of news you could come across this morning given the options at hand. So just shut up and enjoy Ms. Celeste rocking no shirt like only she can.

Video after the jump. 

(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

(During international expansion negotiations, UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta lets his pecs and arms do the talking.)

MMA Junkie has an interesting item up on their site from UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta where the owner/executive discusses the organization’s expansion into India. If you’re anything like this writer, your initial reaction to the news that the UFC was looking to break into the sub-continent nation with The Ultimate Fighter: India was, “Yeah, that’s a huge market! What with all their people, and such. Wait, do they like MMA in India? Are there Indian MMA fighters?”

Perhaps you’re much more worldly and cultured than I (more than likely) and didn’t think that. But in the Junkie article, Fertitta admits that the UFC is starting from scratch in India. He just believes that there are cultural forces and trends that might make Indians of a certain age very receptive to MMA and the UFC.

“It’s a market we think has a lot of potential, but we are literally starting from ground zero,” Fertitta said. “People (there) really don’t know anything about this sport or the UFC.”

No, the legendary Super Hluk title was not on the line.

At a glance, these fights could have just as easily been included in this morning’s can-crushing roundup. Both fights featured established names taking on little-known Korean fighters with less-than-stellar records- one of which ended rather predictably. But perhaps that wouldn’t be a fair interpretation of the phrase “can-crusher.”

Over the past three years, Melvin Manhoef has deteriorated into a fighter who is only capable of defeating his own shins, having gone 1-4 (1) since 2009. Last night, Manhoef was matched up against 14-9 (2) Korean fighter Jae Young Kim. Despite his mediocre record, Kim had won ten of his fights by knockout and wasn’t lost on the ground, either; his most recent fight was a victory by North-South choke against Hee Seung Kim.

The duo produced an entertaining three round fight that saw Manhoef walk away with a split-decision victory. Manhoef may have looked slow at times, but his ground game appears to be less of a liability than it has usually been, as he was taken down but never submitted. He now stands at 25-9-1 (1) overall.

*sigh*

Sometimes, there’s no shame in being a can crusher. As much as we love watching close fights between our sport’s top fighters, some of our sport’s most entertaining finishes came to fruition because a fighter of reasonable competence was locked in the cage with an utterly hopeless ham-n-egger. There’s nothing wrong with pounding the bejesus out of a hapless jobber every once in a while, which is exactly what Mariusz Pudzianowski, Jan Blachowicz and Dusan Panajotovic did yesterday. Fortunately for us, they filmed it for posterity as well.

At thirty-five years old, “can crusher” is probably the ceiling for five-time World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski’s MMA career. The odds of him ending up in the big leagues outside of his home country are pretty slim- which is perfect, because he seems more than content to smash freaks and nobodies in front of enthusiastic Polish fans. At yesterday’s KSW 20, Pudzianowski faced 4-1 Greek American prospect Christos Piliafas. All of Piliafas’ fights have ended by TKO- four of which in the first round. A technical grappling clinic this would not be, as Pudzianowski scored takedowns and eventually punched out Piliafas 3:48 seconds into round one. Unfortunately, videos of this scrap have quickly been taken off of YouTube. We know, we’re just as heartbroken as you are.

But as a consolation prize, we’re going to offer you KSW Light Heavyweight Champion Jan Blachowicz’s successful title defense against Houston Alexander from the same card. A win over Alexander may not mean too much anymore, yet Blachowicz never appeared in trouble throughout the fight. Unfortunately, save for an armbar at the end of round one and a triangle choke at the end of round two, neither did Alexander. Okay, so it’s a pretty lousy consolation prize. Whaddayagonnado?

I’ve been trying all day, but I can’t seem to find *any* opportunities for sophomoric humor. Props to Zombie Prophet for the GIFs

The Legacy Fighting Championships promotion may anywhere near the most famous or popular MMA organization out there but hot damn their fighters put on a great show Friday night in Houston Texas. Since you probably didn’t see LFC14 last night, we’ve got you covered with some of the best GIFS from the event.

Crazy chokes, power punches and even a honest to God sidekick to the head that lands cleanly…in MMA competition! Catch it all after the jump.

Meh.

Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of  Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.

If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.

Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.

As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.

(What has 2 thumbs and can muffle a fart on the first date?)

By Nathan Smith

Dan Henderson’s knee injury and the refusal by Jon Jones to fight his chosen replacement, Chael P. Sonnen on 8 days notice, forced the first UFC event cancelation in history and the infamous Dana White conference call to announce the goings-on took the MMA world by storm. DW chastised and spewed vitriol towards JBJ’s unwillingness to step up to fight Sonnen which infuriated the UFC brass as a whole. Likewise, it enraged the Bones nuthuggers and haters who in turn inundated the CP comment section for more than a week with well-reasoned arguments but mostly sophomoric jabs involving nipples.

Now Lyoto Machida Vitor Belfort has been named JBJ’s next opponent but that is not stopping Sonnen from getting ready to fight the man that turned down his challenge. The American Gangster expects to walk to the octagon and go mano y mano with Bones next weekend.

Dana White told mmajunkie.com:
“Chael Sonnen is in full training camp right now. He’s been training since he got offered the Jones fight. He said, ‘I’m in full camp right now because Vitor will get hurt and pull out, and it will be Jones vs. Sonnen, anyway.’”

(He’s just jolly. Who could begrudge him that outlook?)

Since tonight marks the premiere of TUF 16, coached by UFC heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, and featuring Uncle Dana on backup vocals, it seems like a good time to round up all the vitriol spewed at Nelson by Carwin and White, as well as preview all the drama to come. In recent interviews, both Shane and the Baldfather spoke about their distaste for Big Boy Roy.

Carwin is succinct in telling Bleacher Report, ”I hate [Nelson]. I dislike him. I hate him as a person. That’s just it.”

Apparently, Shane feels that Roy poses as a hardworking blue-collar guy, but instead spends most of his time complaining. “He always has an excuse for everything. He claims to be this average, normal guy and that’s who he tries to reach too, the blue-collar workers,” Carwin tells BR.

“Well, that’s me. That’s where I came from. I was the one working at 15 years old and working concrete in construction, working at meat packing plants, throwing boxes and things like that. He hasn’t had a job in his life. This is the only thing he has ever done. He’s the farthest thing from a blue-collar worker that he claims to be.”

While Carwin chastises Nelson for not doing enough chores around the family farm as a kid, White has his own reasons for criticizing the more rotund TUF coach:

(Machida has a lot riding on this fight: A UFC title shot, the respect of Brazil’s fans, and a chance to one day sit on the Cool Guy Bench.)

The UFC’s light-heavyweight title picture has become quite a twisted web over the last few weeks. When Dan Henderson blew out his knee before his scheduled title challenge against Jon Jones at UFC 151 (R.I.P.), the call went out to Lyoto Machida to meet Jones at UFC 152, since the Dragon was officially next in line. But then Machida declined the offer, and yada yada yada, we now have an aging middleweight looking to shock the world next weekend.

So does that mean that Henderson keeps his spot at the front of the 205-pound contender-line when he heals up? Not exactly. According to a new report from Dave Meltzer on MMAFighting, UFC president Dana White now intends to have Hendo and Machida fight each other to determine the true #1 LHW contender. The planned booking seems to be motivated at least partly by anger. As Meltzer writes:

(Fighter escapes power-bomb to land big knockout on neckbearded savage, via MMA: Inside the Cage.)

- Dana White Goes Off Again on Jon Jones, Greg Jackson (MMAFighting)

- Contracts, How Do They Work? The Bellator Story (BloodyElbow)

- UFC 153 Timetable: How The Rio Card Recovered From Devastation (HeavyMMA)

- Matt Lindland Discusses His Future, Fedor Emelianenko, Fallout With the UFC, And More (Fightline)

- Woman vs. Workout: Model Lauren Berlingeri Learns the MMA Basics With Louis Gaudinot (YouTube.com/3V)

- Must…resist…horsemeat joke… (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- A Female MMA Fighter Will Be a Character in the Upcoming ‘Dead or Alive 5′ Game (MiddleEasy)

- The 25 Fittest Football Players (MensFitness)

- The 50 Most Brutal Hits in NFL History (Complex)

- Movie Supercut Video: Animals Covering Their Eyes With Their Paws (FilmDrunk)

- The 50 Coolest Kids in the History of the Internet (WorldWideInterweb)

- How to Fight With Your Wife (MadeMan)

- 20 Extremely Remote Landmarks (EgoTV)

Via none other than the bossman’s Twitter account, here is the funniest thing you will see all day. I’m going to go as far as to say that it completely negates the fact that we were deprived of a pay-per-view oh so long ago. Then again, it’s Friday, and I’m already drunk. Have a great weekend, Potato Nation!

-J. Jones

(“What?! Vitor’s fighting who now? God damn you, JC, you are really bending me over a barrel here!”) 

How the tides have shifted.

When Alan Belcher and Yushin Okami first met at UFC 62 all the way back in August of 2006, both men were actually making their promotional debut. In a hard fought contest, Okami used his superior grappling prowess to reel in a unanimous decision victory over “The Talent,” and would follow the victory with three more before dropping a unanimous decision to Rich Franklin at UFC 72. Belcher, on the other hand, would rebound from the defeat by scoring a head kick KO over woeful UFC washout Jorge Santiago, then dropping a third round submission via Brabo choke to TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove.

Since then, Okami has compiled a 10-4 record in the UFC, including wins over a certain Strikeforce welterweight champion and a certain injury-plagued middleweight contender, a title losing bid to Anderson Silva at UFC 134, and a shocking third round upset at the hands of Tim Boetsch that was responsible for the greatest Joe Rogan meltdown in UFC history. Belcher has gone 8-3, with an upset loss of his own to Jason Day and notable wins over Patrick Cote, Ed Herman, and most recently Rousimar Palhares. It should be noted, and has been on several occasions, that his victory over Palhares made one CagePotato writer look like a complete a-hole.

But although Belcher was a considerable underdog heading into their first contest, one has to imagine that he may find himself the favorite heading into their rematch at UFC 155 in light of their recent momentum swings.

(Seriously? Not even *one* vote for Jason Guida?)

The 16th season of The Ultimate Fighter kicks off tonight on FX, and while we wouldn’t exactly say we’re looking forward to it, the premiere of a new season always puts us in a reflective mood. In this week’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable, we’ll be paying tribute to our favorite cast-members in TUF history, and joining us today is a very, very special guest — Luke O’Brien, an award-winning journalist whose work has appeared in Rolling Stone, The New York Times, The Atlantic, Fortune, and many other outlets that are much more respectable than the one you’re reading right now. (I first discovered Luke through his excellent MMA reporting for Deadspin.)

Shoot us your own favorite TUF guys in the comments section, and if you have a topic for a future Roundtable column, e-mail us at tips@cagepotato.com

Luke O’Brien

Has there been a more unlikely TUF champion than Amir Sadollah? In 2008, the Persian-Irish surgical technologist came out of nowhere — or in his case, Richmond — to win the seventh season of the show by beating All-American wrestler C.B. Dollaway. Sadollah armbarred Dollaway not once, but twice. Before that, he triangled Matt Brown, who oozed tough. And before that, he TKOd Gerald Harris, who certainly looked tough. At the time, Sadollah had never had a pro fight. Not one. I liked him immediately. Not because he was an upstart, a little doughy around the middle and a bit of a lumberer. There were purer reasons that drew me to a fighter who walks out to Iranian techno music.

For one, he had a mullet. This wasn’t the unaware bumpkin coiffure found in many stretches of this country. Rather, it was a curated flange of keratin that complemented the smirk often playing on Sadollah’s face. It was a mullet that, like its owner, didn’t take itself too seriously. A mullet that grasped irony. And irony has always been in short supply on TUF. The premise of the show — quarantine 16 fighters for a month in a house stocked with unlimited amounts of booze and see what happens — is absurd, although I guess you could say the same about all reality television. As much as I enjoy TUF, the only way I can fully appreciate it is at a sardonic remove. Sadollah allowed me to do that.

For the past few years, the MMA world has been anxiously awaiting the debut of a certain Brazilian grappling phenom with a list of credentials that reads like “been there, done that” of the BJJ landscape. No, not Braulio Estima, although seeing him pick up his first MMA win was pretty outstanding. We’re talking about none other than Kyra Gracie, who has been honing her boxing skills with Claudio Coelho for the past two years in preparation for her MMA debut, which she promises will happen by the end of 2012.

Recently, Brazilian fight site BJJPix.com did a photoshoot with Kyra during one such training session, so we’ve decided to compile a collection of those photos, along with some generally enticing photos of Kyra, for your enjoyment. Because like we said, you could use a distraction. Check out the gallery after the jump, and make sure to follow Kyra on Twitter. Who knows, if she gets enough followers, maybe they’ll book her against Ronda Rousey just for the hell of it. One can only fap…I mean dream!

-J. Jones

(It was on this night that Dana realized: No matter how many f-bombs you can get away with in public, one n-bomb will still get you shot.)

As difficult as it is to be a poster-designer for the UFC these days, it seems that it is even more trying to be a fan of the promotion in general, especially one who actually purchases tickets and pay-per-views (chumps). Main events, co-main events, and entire cards are being switcherooed, discombobulated, kerfluffled, skip-skopped, skallywagged, and outright cancelled seemingly willy-nilly, and the constant change of pace is clearly taking its toll on UFC fans around the world.

Realizing the mounting frustration that has taken over our already acrimonious audience, we’ve tried to coax you away from this harsh, unforgiving world of news and enchant you with fancy knockouts, hot chicks, and pot-shots at Jose Canseco to make it all better. Basically, we’ve rubbed some ‘tussin on your open, festering wounds, but as Sam Peebles will tell you, no amount of Bull’s Eye Red Licorice will make up for the fact that you were raped in the library bushes as a child.

…

I forgot where I was going with that analogy, but here’s a supercut of Dana White’s best f-bombs to help get you through this topsy-turvy day in MMA.

(“ERMAHGERD. WERST GERMBLING ERDS ERVER”)

Since the Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar replacement main event at UFC 153 was announced, I’ve been waiting patiently to see what kind of absurd betting line would be tied to this fight, and the oddsmakers didn’t disappoint. As MMAWeekly informs us, Silva has just opened as a -1350 (!) favorite, compared to Stephan Bonnar’s +850 underdog line. Gambling n00b translation: A $1,350 bet on Anderson would net you just a $100 profit if he wins, while a $100 bet on Bonnar would pay off $850 in profit if he does the unthinkable. And if you’re trying to decide which guy to put money on, I can confidently say that either bet would be stupid as fuck.

That -1350 line represents the most lopsided odds for an Anderson Silva fight ever, and even surpasses the -1300 opening line that was given to Jon Jones against Vitor Belfort. In general, once the gambling line passes -1000 for the favorite, it’s a pretty clear sign that the fight is a dangerous squash match that shouldn’t have been booked in the first place. (Example: Cris Cyborg‘s -2000 opening line over Jan Finney, a fight that turned out to be exactly as competitive as we thought it would.)

(Believe it or not, Columbia Pictures saw this coming some 8 months ago, and chose Kevin James to star in a movie about Konrad’s life.) 

Maybe it’s just me, Potato Nation, but recent events have led me to believe that I have stepped into some sort of alternate reality where up is green, foot is west, and Joe Silva apparently never existed. So maybe I should just take the confounding news that current Bellator heavyweight champion and undefeated powerhouse Cole Konrad is retiring from MMA to obtain a position as a financial trader specializing in milk products as sign that my suspicions are correct. Seriously, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

MMAJunkie has the scoop:

The Twincities.com report said Konrad, 28, is leaving fighting to become a financial trader at a Minnesota-based firm that supplies ingredients to the feed, pet food, food processing and chemical industries. Konrad will specialize in trading milk products. 

Plans to find a new champion are unclear at the moment. The news first was reported byTwincities.com and subsequently confirmed to MMAjunkie.com (www.mmajunkie.com) by a source close to the promotion. 

Of all the reasons for retirement we have heard MMA fighters give…this is a new one.

(“Yeah, training’s going well, I feel like I’m in killer shape right now and…whoa. Is your cameraman masturbating?”)

With his one-year suspension for prescription painkillers coming to an end in November, Chris Leben already has his return fight booked. The UFC has confirmed that Leben will face Czech wrestler Karlos Vemola at UFC 155, the stacked end-of-year card scheduled for December 29th in Las Vegas.

Vemola has compiled a less-than-stellar 2-3 record in the UFC over three weight classes, and was most recently choked out by Francis Carmont in July. Leben, who was suspended following his TKO loss to Mark Munoz at UFC 138, hasn’t won a match since his 27-second bar fight with Wanderlei Silva at UFC 132.

That fact that Leben is immediately returning to action after his suspension — and against a beatable rebound opponent — suggests that the UFC still has a fondness for him. But considering that this wasn’t Leben’s first time-out for unapproved substances, it might be his last chance to straighten up and fly right. Good luck, Cat Smasher.

Being the poster-designer for the UFC must be a horrible job. You spend all day selecting the perfect photos of each headliner, tweaking size and shading until they’re juuuuust right, and then you get a frantic phone call from your boss just as you’re leaving for the weekend, saying that so-and-so blew out his such-and-such, and it’s time to start over.

Case in point, check out the poster above. For a brief moment between UFC 151 being canceled and Jones vs. Belfort being booked, some poor bastard actually had to make a Jones vs. Machida 2 poster, and Lyoto Machida hadn’t even accepted the fight. I’m not saying a lot of time was spent on this, I’m saying that no matter how long it took, that time could have been better spent napping.

We’ve compiled a lot more outdated UFC posters in the pages below. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be reminded of great fights that were sunk due to injury, and of the fragility of human ACLs. If we’ve left out any good ones, shoot us some links in the comments section.