(“The Burger King Triple Stacker — I don’t jump up to light-heavyweight on short notice without it.”)

After UFC 153 lost its main event and co-main event in the same day, UFC matchmakers needed to get creative if they wanted to avoid another financially devastating event-cancellation. And by God, they’ve gotten creative. USA Today has just confirmed that Anderson Silva will now be headlining the October 13th event in Rio de Janeiro, in a light-heavyweight feature against…Stephan, freakin’, Bonnar. Allow that delicious insanity to sink in for just a moment. Alright, let’s continue.

The report follows an earlier story broken by MMAFighting, which confirmed that Frankie Edgar has been removed from the event altogether. So if you chose “other” in today’s poll, award yourself five PotatoBux.

This will be the third light-heavyweight UFC appearance for Silva, who previously scored brilliant knockouts against 205′ers James Irvin (in July 2008) and Forrest Griffin (in August 2009). Bonnar, who is currently riding a three-fight win streak, has been vocal in recent months about his desire to get at least one more big fight before he exits the sport — remember his campaign for a TUF coaching gig against Griffin? — and sort of retired in July due to his frustration that another marquee matchup wasn’t materializing. Well, Bonnar’s got his big fish, for better or for worse. And if he lasts more than one round against the Spider, he’ll do better than any UFC light-heavyweight before him.

(Seen here: One of the fighters who still has a chance of competing at UFC 153.)

Let’s face it: There is little more we can say to convey our disappointment in the disintegration of UFC 153. The card began solid enough (see above), then it got a little less awesome, then it got significantly more awesome, and now it is resting in a state of awesome limbo that it may never return from, which is not really awesome at all if you think about it.

With rumors flying that everything from Wanderlei Silva vs. Chael Sonnen to Rashad Evans vs. Anderson Silva at a catchweight is being eyed as the replacement main event for UFC 153, it got us thinking:

What fight would you, the fans, like to see as the new main event of UFC 153?

We’ve placed a few of the most likely options after the jump, but feel free to choose the “Other” option and give us your picks/reasoning in the comments section. The sky is the limit, but we must warn you, we’ve already asked Dana to consider Zimmer-Martinez II, and he gave us a resounding “maybe.”

-J. Jones

(“What kind of backwards country is this? The game is called Whac-a-Mole, not Whac-a-Capybara, and the animals aren’t supposed to be alive!”)

Just a few hours ago, we promised that a few beautiful knockout videos would successfully help us all blissfully drift into a world where injuries no longer determined both the content of every other CP article and the makeup of every other UFC card, but it seems our vision of an impossibly awesome MMA utopia is merely that…an impossibility.

Be that as it may, some of you might be pleased to hear that amidst the UFC 153 clusterfuck of injuries lies a potential silver lining. According to FightersOnly, who have sited several anonymous sources, a grudge match years in the making between Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen is being looked at as a possible replacement for UFC 153 now that Jose Aldo — or perhaps, the general incompetence of Brazilian drivers — has massacred our dreams of a featherweight title superfight.

Details remain sketchy at the moment, but in a recent interview with Portal do Vale Tudo, Silva stated that he would be more than willing to step up for the good of the UFC and his home country’s fans if asked to do so:

I think fighting in Rio would be great. Under no circumstances could I turn that down. I would love to fight for the crowd in Rio, and if it were against that guy who everybody wants me to face, it would be beautiful.

Spoiler alert: Chael Sonnen is “that guy who everybody wants me to face.”

More on this potential showdown after the jump.

(One of these days, Alex, right to the moon!) 

As I’ve discussed before, being a writer for a “comedic” “MMA” website such as CagePotato has its positives and its negatives. The positives, of course, are the legions of swooning, scantily clad women that are literally willing to do anything to meet Jon Jones, Chuck Liddell, or whomever we are claiming to be incredibly close friends with at the time. There are also the lavish cars, houses, and general respect from your peers that have become a staple of the blogger trade to be grateful for.

But perhaps even greater than the constant influx of trim and general swagger that comes hand-in-hand with the MMA blogger lifestyle are the epic knockout videos we get to post whenever we feel like it under the false guise of “journalism.” And with the great injury curse of 2012 once again putting us all in the dumps, today seems perfect for one such occasion, so join us after the jump for a trifecta of KO’s (and even a flying triangle) to help you cope with the fact that yet another UFC event has been temporarily upended.

(Props: Fox Sports via MMA Convert)

Even if Jon Jones wasn’t doing everything in his power to make us dislike him, there’d still be part of us silently hoping that Vitor Belfort shocks the world at UFC 152 and knocks Jones the hell out. Belfort’s story is just so perfect: A former prodigy now nearing the end of a rocky career, who has fought on through countless professional and personal setbacks, is now given an unexpected chance at glory in a fight he’s not supposed to win, against a young “phenom” representing a generation of fighters that is leaving the older star behind. And everybody is counting Belfort out — except the challenger himself.

“Everyone is beatable. You just gotta find the point when and how,” Belfort says. “I’m in a point that I’m ending my career. I made a commitment that I’m gonna finish as strong as I started…I’m testing [Jones's] chin, his liver, everything. We’re there to test each other, we’re there giving our full body to that competition…I believe in one thing: No sacrifice, no glory.”

Do you believe in miracles? And what happens if the light-heavyweight belt changes hands on September 22nd, and winds up in the possession of a middleweight nearing the end of the road? (Besides the obvious.) Personally, I think the UFC needs some chaos from time to time. The problem with “invincible” champs like Jones, Anderson Silva, and Georges St. Pierre, is that the outcomes of their fights are rarely in question. So…would a shocking upset victory for Belfort actually be a good thing for the UFC?

(Working title for the season: “TUF India — How Can They Slap?”)

At a press conference held yesterday in Mumbai, the UFC announced the signing of a strategic partnership with the sports channel Sony Six, which will bring a wide range of UFC programming to India. Most notably, the channel will host an Indian edition of The Ultimate Fighter, premiering sometime in 2013; casting details will be announced soon. From the press release:

SIX is the destination for all UFC programming in India, from live events featuring the biggest names in the sport to athlete profile shows including the seminal Countdown and Primetime. SIX will also feature the greatest fights in the UFC’s 19-year history with UFC Unleashed.

UFC Chairman and CEO Lorenzo Fertitta said: “We are very excited to partner with SIX as the UFC expands into India. We look forward to working with them to not only further expand the UFC’s fanbase here, but also to find and develop local talent and, ultimately, bring regular live events to India”…

(Can you help me, Siri? Well, you can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your shiny, lifeless, screen! And you can give me a bit of fucking good news: a fucking pay-per-view, that actually fucking happens, a fucking title fight, a fucking healthy fighter! Five fucking fights and a ringside seat!)

Well, if the news that Rampage Jackson was out of UFC 153 with an elbow injury wasn’t enough to get you fired up, then maybe this will. Making sure to cap off the summer with a bang, the injury curse of 2012 has struck again. And once again, featherweight champion Jose Aldo is the victim, as he has suffered a foot injury that has forced him out of his UFC 153 bout with Frankie Edgar, whom you may recall was stepping in for an injured Eric Koch. Whom you may recall was originally supposed to face Aldo at UFC 149 until Aldo injured himself for the first time.

It may not have happened yet, but we’re going to go ahead and claim that GSP is out of UFC Whatever with a torn Whachamacallit.

The news was once again delivered by Dana White via his Twitter.

Now Aldo is out with foot injury. Main and co main in the same day!! Another amazing day at the UFC. We have some work to do.

The injury is apparently related to the motorcycle accident Aldo was involved in just under a week ago, which shows us that the injury curse has moved on from simple hope crushing to full-on psychological warfare. Fuck you, injury curse. Fuck you right in the pooper.

So…Edgar vs. Sonnen, anybody?

In related injury news…

(He ain’t really old, just a little too old to be in the club. / Photo via VegasNews.com)

Like any great athlete with a long career, Anderson Silva and his team seem to enjoy toying with the hearts of fans with coy, contradictory talk about when the 37-year-old champ will retire. After originally threatening to retire at age 35, the Spider has had everyone from his boss to his manager opine since then about how long the UFC middleweight legend could and would possibly stay in the fight game he’s dominated since 2006. And now, Silva has gone on record himself with Estadao, saying that he’d like to fight for six more years, until he’s 43.

“I guess you can see more like six years of fighting,” Silva told Estadao. “I love what I do. The team that works with me does a fantastic job. I’ve never had a serious injury that took myself away from competition. So I think I have this a little while longer.”

Well, shit. Maybe Silva isn’t as aloof and carefree as we sometimes think. He’s one of the most financially successful MMA fighters in history and could conceivably go out on top in the next year or two, especially if he books that history-making super-fight with Georges St. Pierre. So it’s a bit surprising to see Anderson say that he loves the sport so much that he doesn’t want to leave it for some time. Maybe he’s going to take care of that unfinished Demian Maia and Thales Leites business. Or maybe he’ll get around to fighting Chris Weidman, before Weidman himself turns 43.

(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.) 

In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.

In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.

Well, my friends, Dana White just dropped a bombshell on Twitter, and not even Sly Stallone can get us out of this tunnel:

Rampage is hurt and out of UFC 153 RIO. SUCKS!!!!!!

You can almost feel the apathy in White’s tweet.

Ariel Helwani confirmed that Jackson suffered an elbow injury, and that the UFC is currently looking for a replacement opponent for Teixeira.

We will keep you informed as things transpire.

-J. Jones

If you asked a longtime UFC fan what he — or she! — thinks of The Ultimate Fighter, they would likely tell you that the series has gotten stale. (Damn, have we really been complaining about this for over three years now? Time flies when you’re bitching.) It’s not that we won’t tune in to watch up-and-coming fighters slug it out for a spot in the UFC — although that Friday night time-slot is still a pain in the ass — but all the “house drama” officially got old around the Junie Browning era, and highlighting the contestants’ dumb frat-boy behavior makes the sport look worse.

So it’s unfortunate when you watch this new teaser for “Ultimate Fighter Fridays” (known to regular folk as TUF 16), and you realize that the show is actually doubling down on the stupid. Let’s run through the checklist…

- A dude getting up in another dude’s face in the kitchen. (check)

- A prank involving flour. (check)

- A prank involving a bed being moved outdoors. (check)

- An idiotic piece of trash-talk, made worse due to silly delivery. (“You got more stories than Dr. Seuss, ho-mee.” –> check)

The Jose Canseco have the big lady boobs and the lil mouse balls.

There’s something to be said about a drug addict who chooses to make money by exploiting his struggles with addiction, all while enabling the addictions of other people. I’m not sure if there are proper words for it, but utterly tragic, pathetic and thoroughly reprehensible are probably good places to start. Case in point: Jose Canseco, who has been dangerously addicted to anabolic steroids in the past (and possibly still is), now dedicates his time to encouraging both current and potential steroid users through a series of videos on Steroid.com. If you’re surprised by any of this, I envy your ignorance.

Oh, and he makes his glorious man boobies dance. Did I mention that part yet? Because that happens.

Back to business though. This week, Canseco touches on the topic of which steroids are “the most awesome steroids,” which obviously are the ones that make your tits bounce, n00b. Naturally, Canseco addresses former teammates who decided not to use steroids in the unfortunately typical words of an addict who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions:

As a baseball player, if you didn’t take steroids you were just a pussy. You were just not part of the team at that time. You weren’t really trying to win. You weren’t doing everything possible to become the best baseball player out there and help your team win. It was like a sacrifice in a way, you really had to do everything possible to help your team win.

(Seen here: The WMMA fight that men and women around the world would *definitely* tune in to.) 

If we know anything about Strikeforce female bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey, it’s that she is not one to let go of a grudge. On the heels of yet another dominant armbar finish over Sarah Kaufman in August, Rousey was quick to call out the roided-up thorn in her side that the general public knows as Cris Cyborg. As it turned out, Cyborg had been removed from the building beforehand, but the table was nonetheless set for possibly the biggest fight in WMMA history. The only problem with this matchup appeared to be Cyborg’s insistence that she simply could not cut the weight necessary to challenge Rousey for her title. Rousey was also adamant about her desire to stay at 135, and the two have been locked in a stalemate ever since.

But that hasn’t stopped either party from continuing the endless war of words with one another. True to form, Rousey has lobbed significantly more verbal bombs at Cyborg as of late, mainly in regard to her past steroid use. Her most recent attacks took place on The MMA Hour:

If you can make 145 [pounds] while you’re super juiced out, you can make 135 if you’re clean.

Cyborg has never had a fair fight. If you really look at it, she’s had fights where she came in and outweighed the other girl by 12 pounds and then they still fought. This girl has a long history of cheating and using drugs, and coming in overweight, and no one’s ever put their foot down ever about it.

While Rousey has every right to criticize Cyborg’s history, to say that she’s never had a fair fight seems a bit audacious on her part. Sure, the opponents placed before Cyborg were little more than lambs being led to the killing field, lambs who stood next to no chance of beating Cyborg in this or any other dimension, but….we forgot what point we were trying to make. In any case, while we’re on the subject of audacious claims, Rousey followed up her anti-Cyborg rant by claiming that a fight with the former Strikeforce featherweight women’s champ would be “the biggest fight in MMA history.”

Those comments are after the jump. 

(Phenom vs. Tank, 5/30/97. Props: UFCVitorVBelfort)

In their continuing efforts to convince you that Vitor Belfort has at least a puncher’s chance against Jon Jones at UFC 152, the UFC has just made the Vitor Belfort vs. Tank Abbott fight from UFC 13 available on YouTube. Just 20 years old at the time, Belfort had made his Octagon debut three months prior at UFC 12, winning the four-man heavyweight bracket in a combined fight time of two minutes. Belfort’s subsequent “superfight” against Abbott — still a somewhat legitimate competitor back then — turned out to be another blitzkrieg. In just 52 seconds, it was all over.

But even more so than the overwhelming striking performance from the Phenom, I think my favorite part of this video is 3:30-3:41, where Belfort calls out for his beloved trainer “Stankie,” and we get a glimpse at a younger (but still pretty old) Al Stankiewicz. Then, we see that Stankie’s hands are wrapped as if he was going to fight that night. Classic.

In a related story, betting odds for Jones vs. Belfort have calmed down somewhat, and the champ is being offered as low as -740. You can also turn $100 into $12,000 if you bet that the fight will be a draw, and the fight actually turns out to be a draw. I’m just saying. What were going to do with that $100 anyway, you know?

(“And that was the first time I went full stanky leg.”) 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Newton’s third law of motion seems to apply to the world of kickboxing this week, as just a few days after it was announced that Swedish kickboxing legend Jorgen Kruth would be departing from the world of MMA, it has been reported that Dutch kickboxing powerhouse Tyrone Spong will be making the transition to it. Spong, who’s has hinted at a move to MMA for some time now, is best known for his battles with such legends of the sport as Peter Aerts, Ray Sefo, and Melvin Manhoef, and currently holds a 68-6-1 with 1 NC record to his credit.

While it was rumored that Spong would be making his debut under the Titan Fighting Championships banner, it appears that the heavyweight slugger will be debuting under upstart promotion World Series of Fighting, alongside UFC rape joke-castaway Miguel Torres and many more.

(Props: ricomix3000 via BloodyElbow)

It’s cool, we can say that about UFC president Dana White because he says it himself in this video. Of course, if we also said that Dana was “hunched over like a bridge-troll,” well that would just be hurtful and inappropriate.

So here’s Dana posing with his favorite female fighter Ronda Rousey at a premiere for the new season of the FX biker drama Sons of Anarchy. I’ll say one thing about DW: Whenever he does a photo-op with an attractive woman, he doesn’t act like a hover-handing sissy. He leans in and grabs a piece. Best perk of the job, if you ask me.

(That’s nice guys, but we’re just gonna stay out of this one. / Photo by Pattee Mak) 

Although I can’t pinpoint the exact date, at some point last week I found myself in a position that a blogger/writer for any niche site oft finds themselves in: tapping their fingers and waiting for some news to break that anyone would give half a shit about. “You know what you should do,” one of my roommates informed me, “is write an article about disabled athletes in MMA. It would tie in with the Paralympics and be quite topical.” It was a pretty good idea, so I immediately (well, after I set down the bong, I suppose) started drafting up some ideas and angles to approach such a story with. I started thinking about guys like Nick Newell and Matt Hamill, who, despite their disabilities, were still able to break open a can of whoop ass when the occasion called for it.

I also began to think of Kyle Maynard, who, despite being an incredible talent and inspiration, was simply not cut out for the sport of MMA. To put it politely, his amateur debut against Brian Fry was bizarre bordering on embarrassing. This was not due to Maynard’s physical limitations or desire to give the sport a try, but simply because someone out there thought that the fight should be both publicized and videotaped without first considering how it would be received by the general public.

But be that as it may, I began to draft up an article discussing the positives and negatives associated with disabilities in professional sports. I planned to discuss Oscar Pistorius, Im Dong Hyun, and Peter Gray. I planned to ask you, our esteemed readers, whether or not the decision for a disabled athlete to compete in a sport as dangerous as MMA should rest on the shoulders of the athletes themselves or of the commissions that are supposed to be protecting them.

That was, until I came across this article on Fighters Only this morning to find that a promotion in the UK was apparently moving forward with, and I cannot place enough emphasis on the quotes here, “a series of bouts with fighters in wheelchairs and also amputees under MMA rules.”

Full story after the jump.

(“Payback time!“)

Katie DeLuca is a 23-year-old professional model from South Florida who has appeared as a fighter interviewer, grappling instructor, and all-around hot-chick for MMACandy.com. Katie was recently named a Maxim Hometown Hotties 2013 semi-finalist, and is currently studying for a Masters of Economics degree. Discussing her jiu-jitsu training with Muze Magazine, she said:

Jiu Jitsu is a great workout and requires a lot of dexterity and strength. I know its not your conventional yoga or spinning class, but for aerobic and anaerobic training, there’s nothing like it. I always loved watching the UFC fights and all the action that goes with it, but its really different when you’re the one on the mat; it’s not as easy as it looks and I have a lot more respect for the fighters and the technique that goes into what they do…My friend Jessica Aguilar is also a really great fighter and that girl is #8-ranked pound-for-pound fighter in the world…[but] you would never catch me trying to roll with these girls, they are tough!

Follow Katie on Twitter and Facebook, and check out 18 of our favorite Katie DeLuca photos — as well as some must-see bonus videos — after the jump…

When Anderson Silva called out George St. Pierre a little over a week ago, the MMA blogosphere’s reactions ranged from overwhelming enthusiasm to bitter resentment. Being that this is the Internet, the majority of those who voiced their opinions apparently sided in the latter category, dubbing Silva –whom you may recall is a UFC champion — a “lazy coward,” a “bitch,” and a “pussy” whose “bitchassness” would hopefully lead to GSP “smashing his skull through the canvas.” The main issue seemed to be that Silva was calling out someone below him in weight, which therefore made him a bitch considering that Jon Jones would be totally willing to fight him if he were to move up to 205. In your humble opinions, Silva was basically being an O’Doyle and picking on the smallest kid in gym class, which is totally not cool behavior for a supposed pound-for-pound great.

That being the case, we’d just love to hear what you think of this. Last week, former MMA fighter Kit Cope declared that “MMA dudes are vaginas” compared to kickboxers in the above video, successfully drawing the attention and ire of any MMA fighter or fan dimwitted enough to take anything that Kit Cope says seriously. One of those people was CagePotato aficionado Sean McCorkle, a can crushing super heavyweight who spends more time arguing on the UG than any grown ass man ever should. McCorkle took it upon himself to defend the honor of the hundreds of thousands of tens of fighters who found themselves reeled in by the whimsical musings of Kit fucking Cope and posted a lengthy diatribe on his old stomping grounds while “bored on a Friday night.” As is often the case in Internet warfare (and therefore Sean McCorkle), the rant was little more than a series of personal attacks and gay jokes culminating in a futile challenge that has zero chance of coming to fruition in any country other than Japan.

Here’s just a little taste:

Hey, here’s a fun fact for you. You lost to Tiki Goshen. Let me repeat that. You lost to Tiki Goshen. In a fight. That means that if Tiki Goshen broke into your house, and you did not have a gun or other significant weapon readily available, Tiki Goshen would have little trouble subduing you, and rendering you completely helpless in a short amount of time. Then he would he proceed to take your belongings, and/or harm your family in any way he chooses.

This of course begs one to ask what would happen to McCorkle’s family if Brian Heden were to break into his house. You see, Sean? We can pick the low-hanging fruit too!

(“Blame it on the muh, muh-muh-muh, muh-mushroom tea…” / Wyatt, shown directly after his arrest and in an undated photo from the Del Norte County Sheriffs Office.)

In March 2010, a Northern California-based mixed martial artist named Jarrod Wyatt was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after drilling a hole into the chest of his friend and sparring partner Taylor Powell, removing his heart, tongue, and most of his face, then cooking the heart in a wood stove. ”Satan was in that dude,” Wyatt allegedly told the Del Norte County Police sergeant who responded to the scene. It’s worth mentioning that the incident occurred after Wyatt, Powell, and two other acquaintances got together to drink some psychedelic mushroom tea, and Wyatt became convinced that the world was about to end.

The case has suffered a series of delays resulting from Del Norte District Attorney Jon Alexander tossing out the original charges of murder, aggravated mayhem, and torture (which carried a maximum sentence of 25 years to life in prison), in order to re-file the case to include “special circumstance allegations of mayhem, extreme cruelty and depravity,” which would have brought a potential sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole. In May, Wyatt was ruled competent to stand trial, and a start date was originally sent for today, September 10th. But on Thursday, September 6th, Wyatt accepted a plea deal in which he pleaded guilty to first degree murder involving mayhem, with a special enhancement for using a weapon, and was sentenced to two consecutive sentences of 25 years to life.

The deal followed an earlier proposed deal from Wyatt’s attorney James Fallman, in which Wyatt would plead guilty to second-degree murder, ultimately serving 41 years to life in prison. But D.A. Jon Alexander wasn’t having that mess. As he told the Times-Standard:

(I guess we could caption this, but wrestling has a way of sometimes looking funny enough on its own.)

#1 middleweight contender Middleweight Chris Weidman just can’t let Mark Munoz have his own moment. First, Weidman spoiled Munoz’ hopes of earning a title shot. Now, just days after we found out Munoz injured his foot and will be out for some time, and also that his elbow is still jacked up from nasty bone chips, Weidman decided that he needed elbow surgery to remove bone chips as well.

We suppose its possible that Weidman’s elbow surgery is unrelated to sticking it to Munoz. MMA Fighting has the report. “[Weidman] underwent surgery at the Sanford Surgical Tower on his left elbow to clean out bone chips that had developed over time.”

According to the report, Weidman had been dealing with elbow issues for over two years.

MMA Weekly reports that the first American to ever win a gold medal in Judo at the Olympics, Kayla Harrison, has signed with manager Ali Abdel-Aziz and Dominance MMA. At this summer’s Olympic games Harrison brought home gold in the 78kg weight class.

Don’t get too excited at the prospect of the twenty two year-old taking her Judo skills to MMA just yet, however. According to MMA Weekly, Abdel-Aziz says that Harrison wants to go for another gold in four years.

“In an interview with MMAWeekly.com content partner Bleacher Report in July, Harrison discussed her potential move into MMA following along with former teammate Ronda Rousey.

‘Not sure as of right now. I never say never but I don’t know if the MMA world is ready for me! I’m a bit bigger than Ronda, and I’m not quite as flashy. I’m also not an entertainer. I do the sport because I love it, not for money or fame. So to make the transition into MMA would be a big one for me,’ said Harrison.”

Even though many MMA promoters are quick to resort hyperbole when talking about an upcoming card, I think it’s pretty safe to say that UFC on FUEL TV 5: Struve vs. Miocic is the most highly anticipated card of all time. Headlined by young, promising heavyweights Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic, the winner will undoubtedly be at least two more fights away from a title shot. Combined with the co-main event scrap between Dan Hardy and Amir Sadollah, a showdown between Duane Ludwig and Che Mills and the UFC debut of Gunnar Nelson, it’s no wonder that the fans can’t stop talking about this event. Hell, this event is so highly anticipated that one of the fighters on the undercard retired two days ago, presumably fearing he was unworthy of being associated with the best card in UFC history.

Before we go any further, if you guys could take a second to critique the new Cagepotato.com Sarcastic Font it would be greatly appreciated.

The UFC released an official promo to get the fans acquainted with Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic. In this video, we learn that aside from being really tall, Stefan Struve is a human destroyer who is part of the new generation of fighters. The undefeated Stipe Miocic, meanwhile, tells us that his mind is his weapon. Okay, so it’s a little cliché, but Struve vs. Miocic should be a great fight between two young, hungry fighters, which this video captures pretty well. Behold:

(Renzo Gracie’s knuckles after beating up muggers. Out of the frame, Renzo Gracie absolutely beaming with a huge smile on his face)

The other day we told you about how Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA legend Renzo Gracie managed to tweet about how he *ahem* defended himself from two muggers in Manhattan this week, at the same time as he was beating the snot out of defending himself from them. Well, The MMA After Hour got Renzo on the line for a short interview where Gracie goes in to detail of how, exactly, he came to beat up two thugs and why he was insulted that they even tried.

We’re not going to waste too much of your time with our copy here because Renzo has plenty to say himself (and we really can’t re-create the effect of his Brazilian accent in writing, and you know it adds a lot to the story, my friend). After the break you’ll find the full interview.

Hint.

With the UFC returning to Australia with UFC on FX 6 on December 14, the promotion is beginning to announce upcoming bouts. While the organization hasn’t announced a venue for said return yet, the card will be headlined by Hector Lombard attempting to redeem himself after his promotional debut at UFC 149, a completely forgettable three round sleeper against Tim Boetsch. The Cuban-born Australian has been given a second chance against none other than Brazilian leg lock specialist Rousimar Palhares. In other words, he isn’t exactly being given a rebound fight.

We all know about the lofty expectations that Hector Lombard carried into the UFC as a Bellator middleweight champion who hasn’t lost in twenty five fights. While Lombard claims that he was too injured to have been fighting during his UFC 149 clash against Tim Boetsch, many fans were quick to jump off of the Lombard bandwagon after that performance. A loss to perennial almost-contender Rousimar Palhares – especially a boring loss to Paul Harris, if that’s possible – could be enough to send Lombard back to Bellator. Likewise, Palhares has built an impressive 7-3 record in the UFC, yet has choked in the fights that would separate him from the pack and potentially earn him a title shot. If Toquinho can’t secure one of Lombard’s legs, he may be permanently relegated to gatekeeper status. Not exactly a great spot for either guy to be in.

Also, UFC on FX 6 will feature the finals of The Ultimate Fighter: Smashes, including the fight between TUF: Smashes coaches George Sotiropoulos and Ross Pearson. You guys remember Smashes, right? British fighters squaring off against Aussies? The answer to the TUF ratings woes? An opportunity for comments sections across the internet to rant about cockiness and make “That’s not a _____, THIS is a _____!” jokes? Well, you have three months to get familiar with it.

In other booking news…

(Mo wrote down all of his answers for this interview to prove, once more, to the Nevada State Athletic Commission that he can read and write in English.)

By Elias Cepeda

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether Muhammed Lawal is truly as carefree as he sounds or if “King Mo” just doesn’t want us to see him sweat. The former All-American wrestler and current MMA light heavyweight has been embattled recently.

After exploding onto the international fight scene in 2008 Lawal suffered a violent loss, his first, to Rafael Cavalcante in 2010. In 2011 and early 2012 he got back on the winning track, stringing together two-straight but then Lawal had his win over Lorenz Larkin overturned after he failed a post-fight drug test.

A subsequent hearing, suspension, twitter outburst where he called a Nevada State Athletic Commissioner a “bitch,” and firing from Strikeforce followed. Oh yeah, Lawal also nearly died after a staph infection.

When we ask Lawal how he’s managed to stay focused and sane throughout it all he says, “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Really?

“All I care about is providing for my family,” he tells CagePotato. “And MMA is a small part of what I do to make a living.”

It certainly is about to become just one of two professional athletic careers that Lawal uses to make ends meet. Since being released by Strikeforce, Lawal has signed with Bellator and Total Nonstop Action wrestling. The idea is for him to simultaneously and regularly take part in professional wrestling and pro MMA.

(Who ordered the mahi mahi?) 

You’ve gotta feel for Mark Munoz. In the past year, the dude has suffered not only one of the most disgusting elbow injuries on record (see above), but one of the most brutal, not to mention late stoppages of the year at the hands and elbows of Chris Weidman (see below). And he did the latter while rocking one of the goofiest haircuts in MMA history.

And just when you thought that Munoz might be headed down the path of recovery and redemption, it appears that he could be out of action for an entire year to deal with a foot injury he suffered in preparation for the ass kicking he would receive courtesy of Weidman.

Talk about adding injury to insult.

Full story after the jump. 

(McMann creates the most savage punch-face in women’s MMA history, against Raquel Pa’aluhi at ProElite 1 last August. Yeesh. That is just awful.)

Strikeforce’s latest red-hot female prospect now has a debut date and opponent. According to MMAFighting, undefeated bantamweight (and Olympic silver medalist) Sara McMann will compete on the supporting card of Strikeforce: Cormier vs. Mir, November 3rd in Oklahoma City, against 7-2 U.S. Marine Liz Carmouche.

Carmouche’s last two Strikeforce appearances in 2011 resulted in losses against Marloes Coenen and Sarah Kaufman. But this year, she rebounded with back-to-back wins against Ashleigh Curry and Kaitlin Young under the Invicta banner. Carmouche is a great test for McMann, and the fight has the potential to create some heat around McMann with Strikeforce viewers — assuming that Showtime doesn’t bury the fight on the prelims like they did with Miesha Tate vs. Julie Kedzie, which, now that I think about it, they probably will. Damn it.

Still no word on the next opponent for Strikeforce bantamweight champ/franchise star Ronda Rousey, but it’s safe to say that if McMann gets past Carmouche in November, she’ll punch her ticket to a title shot.

Related: Sara McMann Isn’t Convinced Ronda Rousey Wants to Fight ‘Cyborg’ Santos

(“One way or another, you *will* be able to dodge bullets like Keanu by the time this is over.”) 

You may or may not be aware of this, but tucked away on the preliminary card of the upcoming UFC on FUEL 5: Struve vs. Miocic card that noone can seem to stop talking about was the long awaited UFC debut of a Swedish kickboxing legend by the name of Jorgen Kruth. A three time K-1 champion and two time World Muay Thai Council Super Heavyweight Muay Thai World Champion, Kruth scored victories over fellow kickboxing champions Ray Sefo, Vitali Akhramenko, and Bob “Bitch Tits” Sapp before transitioning to MMA in 2009. He was successful in all of his first five contests, with none of his victories making it out of the first round.

After being forced to pull out from his originally scheduled debut against Cyrille Diabate at UFC on FUEL 2 due to a rib injury, Kruth was expected to grace the octagon for the first time against Brazilian body shot specialist Fabio Maldonado at the September 29th-scheduled event. However, in what may very well be an unprecedented move for a debuting UFC fighter, Kruth has actually retired from MMA less than three weeks out from his fight. The Swede made the announcement earlier today to the Swedish newspaper Expressen (as transcribed by MMAViking, appropriately enough), stating “…the last few years I have felt that I have not been there enough for my son, it’s been tough.”

After the jump: More comments from Kruth explaining his decision, and a video of him beating the shit out of Bob Sapp in a kickboxing match. And by beating the shit out of him, we mean kneeing him into submission. As he was falling back. With one of the first strikes he threw.

And yet another audience went home wondering why in the hell they passed up a trip to the zoo for that bullshit.

(Stare at the space directly between them, and slowly move toward your screen. If you do it correctly, you will eventually see the face of Phil Baroni.)

Now that Anderson Silva is “vacationing” until a big fight comes along, Chris Weidman‘s hard-earned #1 middleweight contender spot means jack shit. That’s reality, and there’s nothing Chris can do but exist within it, you know? And so, the undefeated Serra-Longo product will return to the Octagon against another contender, with the hope that he doesn’t get bumped down the ladder.

Multiple outlets are reporting that Weidman will face off against fellow 185-pound bruiser Tim Boetsch at UFC 155 (December 29th, Las Vegas). Weidman is coming off of his insane elbow-KO of Mark Munoz in July, which boosted his UFC record to 5-0. Meanwhile, Boetsch is on an improbable 4-0 run as a middleweight, including an epic comeback TKO against Yushin Okami, and his bizarre split-decision win against Hector Lombard — a “guaranteed slugfest” that turned out to be shockingly dull.

“Don’t call it a comeback! No seriously, don’t – I plan on pulling out of my next fight.”

Not to be outdone by One FC, last night’s hilariously named Best of the Best event in Belem, Brazil saw Murilo Rua and Paulo Filho come out of retirement for a pointless, irrelevant rematch. On paper, it’s pretty sad and kind of scary to see Murilo Rua, who looked completely washed up in his retirement fight against Tom Watson at last year’s BAMMA 6, step in the cage for one final fight. But his opponent is Paulo Filho, so it’ll be a small miracle if the troubled Rohypnol loving Brazilian even shows up, yet alone shows up in shape and ready to fight, right? Things can’t get too ugly for Ninja, can they?

Dude…you have no idea. Rua manages to do dick before getting tagged repeatedly by Filho’s sloppy haymakers, which were eerily reminiscent of this. The fight is mercifully stopped just forty eight seconds in, yet the internet is still crying early stoppage. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m okay with letting this one end while Ninja can still brush his teeth without assistance.

Props to Zombie Prophet for the video.