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Iggy Azalea is sexy (46 pics)

September, 2012

And Now, A Knockout Even More Horrific Than The Demise of Tater Williams [VIDEO]


(From the guys who brought you Shockfights, Wheelchair MMA, and Ultimate Ball, comes the latest fighting craze to hit the UK: Narcoleptic Kickboxing.)  

Q: How do you know it’s a slow news day in the MMA world?

A: When CagePotato covers Jon Fitch interviewzzzz.

Now that we’ve all had time to digest that bit of heartbreaking news, I’ll be bringing you the sweetest knockouts from around the globe for the rest of the day, whether they be of the MMA variety, the kickboxing variety, or of the “two fat dudes throwing down for the right to the last spoonful of gravy” variety. Today’s next knockout comes to us from Los Angeles’ Memorial Sports Arena, which recently played host to the K-1 Rising 2012 US Grand Prix qualifying tournament and featured everyone from Kit Cope to Seth Petruzelli in action. With names like that, K-1 should at least be able to secure a better time slot than Manswers on the Spike TV lineup, right?

Anyways, the “Superfight” phase of the night began with a match pitting Japan’s Shuichi Wentz against American Romie Adanza. While saying that the fight ended in eerily similar fashion to the Tater Williams/Bond Laupua slugfest we witnessed this morning would be blasphemy, both fights did end in less than a minute and with one of the participants putting “five of these across the sneeze” of the other. And in both cases, those five things were toes rather than fingers, so do what you want with that.

But the big difference here was that we were not treated to a hilarious, dubstep(?) soundtracked “Dangler Alert” once one of the fighters was knocked out. Instead, we got to sit back and watch Adanza topple over like a fallen oak and then convulse like a caveman who had just been freed from an iceberg.

You tell us which is more entertaining.

Video after the jump.

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Jon Fitch Learns Too Late That UFC Title Shots Are About Money


(Once again proving our theory that you could make a badass highlight reel based on *anybody.*)

Throughout his seven year career in the UFC, Jon Fitch has been one of the most consistent fighters in the sport. He rarely diverges from his grinding, top-control based gameplan. He usually goes the distance in his fights — including one stretch when he went to the judges in nine consecutive contests. And like him or not, the vast majority of his fights have ended with his hand raised.

But after a controversial draw against BJ Penn, a 12-second knockout loss to Johny Hendricks, and a series of injuries, Fitch is the most precarious position of his career, both financially and competitively. Temporarily bumped out of the welterweight title “mix,” Fitch has no idea when his next title shot will come — especially since fans aren’t exactly clamoring to see him get that chance. Here’s what he said about his situation recently, in a rant session with FCFighter.com:

There’s no system for picking number one contenders. There’s no order, there’s no lineup, there’s no point system. It’s just whoever they feel they’re going to make the most money off of. That’s who gets the title shot. It kind of sucks, because in other sports there’s kind of a clear path; you do this, this and this, and you get this. That’s just not the way combat sports work I guess. It doesn’t work that way with boxing or the UFC. It comes down to showmanship. I have to be a better showman to get a title shot. I don’t have to be a better fighter I just have to be a better showman.”

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Sad Video of the Day: Behold, The First XARM Knockout of 2012


(Personally, I think this is a reasonable reaction.) 

We don’t mean to judge a book by it’s cover, but when that cover is a 327 lb man who goes by the name Tater Williams, it’s safe to say that he will more than likely end up on the wrong side of a knockout. Scratch that. If anything, a 327 lb dude named Tater Williams should most certainly end up on the RIGHT side of a knockout. His name is freaking TATER FREAKING WILLIAMS, and he uses catchphrases like “Five of these across the sneeze,” and “You’re gonna get ‘that’ about 147 times” in between asthmatic gasps for air. “That” being the aforementioned sneeze punches. Throw in the fact that Tater is apparently “a really great athlete” who has studied judo, wrestling, sambo, and had a high school wrestling record of 226-12* and not only is Tater suddenly looking like a well-rounded Goliath, but one who could demolish the likes of Junior Dos Santos, Cain Velasquez, and Alistair Overeem. At the same time. While in a diabetic coma.

Sadly, things do go quite according to plan in the next chapter of the XARM saga (but have they ever, really?), a sport so hilariously misguided that it really makes you yearn for the subtle nuances of wheelchair MMA. In today’s contest, Tater finds himself matched up against the slightly-slimmer Bond Laupua (I swear to God I am not making these names up), who is quick to admit that “I don’t really have a strategy” heading into the fight. The announcers inform us that Tater’s gameplan was to gain weight. HOW DID HE LOSE THIS.

Join us after the jump to see two bears wrestle over a jar of honey until one falls down. 

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Hot Potato: 16 Photos of ‘TUF Smashes’ Ring Girl Kristie Jane McKeon

Fightlinker gives us the heads-up that Australian models Kahili Blundell and Kristie Jane McKeon have been hired as ring girls for the UFC’s upcoming Australia vs. U.K. season of The Ultimate Fighter (aka “The Smashes“). As it turns out, Kristie McKeon is the girlfriend of Smashes coach Ross Pearson, which means that on-set hooting directed at the blonde fitness instructor will probably be kept to a minimum.

In honor of Pearson’s impressive accomplishment, we’ve rounded up 16 great photos of Kristie, which you can check out in the gallery after the jump. If you like what you see, follow Kristie on twitter for more. The Smashes debuts this Wednesday on FX Australia and ESPN UK.

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‘TUF 16′ Episode 1 Pulls In 947k Viewers For Worst Premiere Ratings in Show’s History


(If you don’t tune in to see this guy put his shoulder through some drywall, then you’re just not a real fan.)

As first reported by MMAJunkie, Friday’s debut episode of The Ultimate Fighter 16: Team Carwin vs. Team Nelson drew just 947,000 viewers on FX. That number makes it the worst-performing premiere episode in the history of TUF, and marks a 27% drop from the 1.3 million viewers who watched the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Live in March.

And while we’re piling on abuse, 947k viewers means that TUF 16‘s first episode is tied for the fourth-lowest-rated episode in the history of the show; only the 8th, 11th, and 12th episodes of last season did worse. That’s particularly bad news when you consider that premieres are generally the highest-rated episodes of each TUF season — aside from the Kimbo Exception — with the ratings numbers gradually sinking afterwards.

So how low will the numbers sink this season, and how long will it take before the total viewership drops below the show’s all-time bottom of 821k? Cue Dana White rant about how they got this [expletive] thing dialed in, and FX is actually really happy with the numbers. Come on guys. Put this sick dog out of its misery.

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[VIDEO] Stephan Bonnar Details His Gameplan to Beat Anderson Silva and It Is a Doozy


(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

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A Note To All Flyweights: Michael Bisping Can Make Fun of *You*, Not the Other Way Around


(Benavidez REALLY lets Bisping have it at the 4:05 mark. That is sarcasm, by the way.)

It used to simply surprise me each time someone raced to defend the actions of Michael Bisping after we had given him the public tongue-lashing he so rightfully deserved, be it for his coaching exploits, his insistence on insulting every middleweight he comes across, or his general dickishness when alcohol is involved. His supporters, whom I can only assume are as crass, doltish, and incoherent as the subject at hand, often label us “anti-British,” because clearly Bisping’s ancestry is at the forefront of our issues with the guy, not the relentless douchbaggery he displays at every conceivable opportunity. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that no matter how sound a given argument is, there will always be a minority rallying against it. It’s why Old Dad was recently lambasted by the readers over at MMAJunkie for declaring that Brock Lesnar and all 8 of his professional fights had not earned him a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame because he had helped the sport get some fans (bring it on, bitches!). And it’s undoubtedly why some of you — for God knows what reason — will always be quick to defend the hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni known as Count Bisping (seriously, BRING IT ON!).

Take his recent squabble with the UFC’s flyweight division, for instance. With no clear motivation (other than being billed below them at UFC 152), Bisping decided to launch into a diatribe aimed at the 125-pounders, declaring that “no one cares about little flyweights.” Bisping continued his attack at the UFC 152 press conference, where, when forced to deal with a response from Joseph Benavidez, stated that “when you were a glint in your dad’s eye, I was kicking ass in the UFC,” which makes sense because AGE IS DETERMINED BY HEIGHT AND WEIGHT AND THAT’S IT SHUT UP. Benavidez, along with most of us who can subtract 28 from 33, dismissed Bisping’s comments as “ridiculous” and moved on. However, when Benavidez was asked by teammate Urijah Faber in the “fighter diary” above if he thought he hit harder than Bisping, he nonchalantly declared that yes, he believed he did.

This was the kind of insolence that Bisping would simply not tolerate.

After the jump: Bisping’s response, which is as eloquently phrased and intelligent as Winston Churchill’s epic pwnage of Nancy Astor.

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Ronda Rousey Is ‘Like a (Expletive) Dude Trapped in This Beautiful Body’, According to Dana White


(“Ronda, do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong body? Like, maybe your real gender isn’t the one that everybody sees? Oh. Okay. No, I don’t either, I was just asking. Hey, look, Pinkberry.”)

You can tell when UFC president Dana White is excited, because he swears slightly more than he usually does. Here’s what he had to say last week about his recent platonic play-date with Ronda Rousey (via MMAFighting):

I took Ronda Rousey to the Sons of Anarchy premiere the other day. And you know how Hollywood premieres are with (expletive) people lined up and down the streets. You got the red carpet. So we pull up and you got all the Sons guys, and all the celebrities that are there from FX TV shows. We got out of the car and the whole (expletive) place started screaming ‘Ronda, Ronda, Ronda,’ like (expletive) crazy. Like a (expletive) Kardashian got out of the car. I was like holy (expletive) (expletive) this girl is right there.

She’s a (expletive) unique individual. She’s like a Diaz brother. She really is. Inside like a (expletive) dude trapped in this beautiful body. The reason I got interested in women’s MMA is because of her…everyone is like it’s cause she’s good-looking and ‘Dana blah-blah.’ Gina Carano is good-looking too. She’s very pretty. There’s (expletive) something different about Ronda Rousey.

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Jon Jones. Banana Hammock. Male Ring Girls. Michelle Waterson. I Don’t Know, Man. [VIDEO]


(Skip to 1:05 for the bad stuff.)

As you can tell, this new Invicta 3 promo starring Michelle Waterson defies normal headline writing. We could call it amateurish and weird, and more cheap ammo for the Jon Jones haters, but that would be dismissive. Personally, I think it’s a clever parody of how female fights are promoted, and how discussion of Waterson almost always focuses on her “Karate Hottie” persona, rather than her fearsome skills as a fighter. And so, the female athlete gets a moment in the spotlight, while the boys in the gym — some of whom are much, much more famous than Waterson — are reduced to scantily-clad eye-candy.

I mean, you have to believe that this video is trying to make some kind of statement, right? Otherwise, how the hell would you explain it? When Michelle and Greg Jackson were spitballing viral video ideas in his office, did Jones pop his head in and say, “I FEEL LIKE I COULD MAKE A GOOD RING GIRL, LIKE MAYBE THE BEST RING GIRL EVER, EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS, PHILIPPIANS YOU GUYS”? Really, does that sound like the Jon Jones you know?

The real star of this clip is obviously UFC heavyweight Travis Browne, who sells the shit out of his role as “ring girl #2.” Gotta love the blown-kiss at 1:18, and his celebratory hop at 1:31. The guy has clearly mastered the art form. So does this mean Arianny will try to get him fired now?

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Georges St. Pierre Signs Endorsement Deal With NOS Energy Drink


(Think that’s risky? Try downing three cans of NOS in a row.)

When an athlete like Georges St. Pierre signs with a major product like the Coca Cola-owned NOS Energy Drink, there’s a couple directions we can go in bringing you the news. The most obvious angle is that the news of GSP signing with a prominent brand like NOS is yet another coup for him personally, and possibly for mixed martial arts on the whole, because it signifies another step towards mainstream acceptance and will expose the sports to scores of new potential fans, blah blah blah, etc.

All that is nice, but what sticks in my craw is that I can’t imagine St. Pierre actually choking down that toxic go-go juice in real life. We hope that the deal nets GSP loads of cash and we’re truly happy for him; he seems like a nice dude and is the epitome of what a top-notch professional MMA fighter should be. That said, what are the chances that the health-conscious welterweight champion gets his energy edge from the same caffeinated sugar-water that your 15 year-old cousin uses to stay awake during all-night Halo marathons?

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