(Ladies, you are not prepared to deal with Matt’s “O-face.” You just aren’t.) 

Matt Riddle is on the fast track to replacing Michael Phelps as the most motivated stoner on the planet Earth, you guys. After fighting just once in 2011, Riddle put together a 3-1 record in 2012 (well, 2-1 and 1 NC if you’ve ever sucked dick for weed before) and already has his first fight for 2013 lined up. The man with one of the sunniest dispositions in the sport will be taking on butter-toothed Brit Che “Beautiful” Mills at UFC on FUEL 7, which goes down from the Wembley Arena in London, England on February 16th.

On the heels of a disappointing victory via injury over Duane Ludwig at UFC on FUEL 5, Mills will be looking to extend his octagon record to 3-1 with a victory over Riddle, who is fresh off a unanimous decision victory over John Maguire at UFC 154. Although Riddle has developed for putting on exciting brawls in his last few performances, he might want to avoid these kind of shenanigans against a power striker like Mills, who proved to Rick Flair-impersonator Chris Cope that he is not a fan of theatrics in his UFC debut.

(Via HBOSports)

Recently we brought you episode one of HBO’s “24/7: Pacquiao vs. Marquez IV” documentary series. The third episode premiers Saturday night so it’s a perfect time for you to catch up and see episode two (above) if you haven’t already.

Other than the elusive white whale of a fight between PacMan and Floyd Mayweather Jr, a fourth fight between the Phillipine’s Pacquiao and Mexico’s Marquez is pretty much the only meaningful pound-for-pound match up in boxing right now. In the latest episode of “24/7″ we once again get uncomfortably close to Pacquiao and his wife Jinky’s embattled marriage and see up close and personal how the Marquez family has come up in the world.

We also get more from the two fighters’ trainers, Freddie Roach for Pacquiao and Ignacio Beristain for Marquez, two of the best and most famous in the sport. There’s Pacquiao dancing Gangman Style and filing for re-election for his congressional post in between Bible meetings, and Marquez starting his Mexico City training camp off early to fight off old age.

Check out Episode Two and then tune in to HBO Saturday night at 9:30EST for the third installment. If you miss that, we’ll have it published on CP later as well because we have to do everything for you guys.

- Elias Cepeda

(Ladies and gentleman, #69. There is no God.) 

I am going to apologize right from the get-go, Potato Nation, because as I’m writing this, I’m also trying to wrap my brain around the fight I just saw on Super Fight League’s latest installment of Friday Fight Nights and it’s all but completely crippling my ability to focus on my actual task.

While I appreciate the new format that SFL has taken — forgoing freak show fights in mega stadiums in favor of local talent in scaled down arenas — to describe the skill level of some of SFL’s fighters as amateur would be a disservice to amateur MMA fighters around the world. I’m talking specifically, about the heavyweight clash between Virender Singh and Naveen Rao I just witnessed, in which Rao seemingly refused to even attempt to get back to his feet after being taken down, like Butterbean trapped in the YAMMA pit all over again. Singh, on the other hand, was content to dance around and throw one or two GnP shots at a time instead of finishing the fight outright, as if he was unaware of what to do when an opponent literally offers zero defense. Anyway, Rao tapped to strike (yes, it appeared to be just one) and then the camera cut to the crowd engaging in synchronized dance for approximately 3 minutes. BOLLYWOOD IS CRAZY.

What does any of this have to do with the topic at hand? Nothing really, except that even for their completely subpar skill levels, most of the fighters participating on SFL 11 will likely walk away with more money than Tiki Ghosn did from his entire UFC career, at least according to the figures recently released by MMA Manifesto, which tabulated the approximate career earnings of every fighter to fight for the UFC over the past seven years. Of course, the figures only date back to UFC 46, and are void of any sponsorship or locker room bonus money, so perhaps the $2,000 Ghosn was paid should be taken with a grain of salt. Still though, makes you wonder even more how he pulled off this for years.

In either case, join us after the jump to find out how much each of your favorite fighters have made over the course of their UFC careers. And while you might not be shocked at the top few entries on the list, there are definitely more than a few totals that will leave you scratching your head.

How To Always Win In A Fight – Watch More Funny Videos
(Paul “Boom!” Vunak vs. Bas “Bang!” Rutten, held under Filipino Alley Fight rules: Who takes it and how? / Props: Break.com)

- Today’s Your Last Day to Donate to the “Mo’Tato Nation” Movember Team! Do It! (Movember.us)

- Power Ranking Every UFC Champion in History (BleacherReport)

- Michael Bisping Readies for Vitor Belfort, Aims to Avoid Dubious Distinction (MMAFighting)

- José Aldo Announces His MMA Retirement Age, Next Step Already Figured Out (Fightline)

- “Dat Ass!” Alert: MMA Ring Girl Shannon Ihrke Shows Off the Goods (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- UFC on Fox 5 Fighter Jeremy Stephens Jury Trial Scheduled for January 9, 2013 (BloodyElbow)

- Dana White To Fighters: Tone Down Training Ahead Of UFC on FOX 5 (FightDay)

- Support Movember, Eat an Onion (MadeMan)

- The Worst Thing Ever (HolyTaco)

- Five Easy Steps to Becoming a Successful Cult Leader (EgoTV)

- The 50 Dirtiest Moments in Cartoon History (WorldWideInterweb)

- Answers From a Hot Girl: Can I Encourage My Girlfriend to Lose Weight? (MensFitness)

- The 100 Biggest Twitter Fails of All Time (Complex)

In addition to being one of the least decision-prone fighters to ever grace the Octagon, James Irvin is also notorious for being the unluckiest bastard in the history of the sport. From poorly-timed injuries and ill-advised weight cuts to chemical misadventures and freak accidents, the Sandman has suffered through enough hardships to fill the careers of ten journeymen. So with the help of our friends at Havoc Store, we put together an illustrated timeline of the most unfortunate moments in Irvin’s MMA career, which you can check out after the jump.

Enjoy, share it with your friends, and show some love to Havoc Store by visiting their blog or following them on Facebook. And James? You have our sympathy, dude.

(So tell us more about this “pulled groin,” Lavar… / Photo via Maxim)

Just nine days out from UFC on FOX 5, the UFC confirmed last night that heavyweight slugger Lavar Johnson has withdrawn from his prelim meeting with Brendan Schaub due to a pulled groin. As a result, Schaub has also been removed from the card, and will not face a replacement opponent. “Frustrated would be an understatement..back to the gym,” Schaub tweeted after the news broke. The TUF 10 finalist has been inactive since April, and has lost his last two fights by knockout.

No word yet on the return dates for either fighter, or which Facebook match could potentially replace them on the FX broadcast. We’ll update you when we know more. Though the Johnson/Schaub fight was the card’s most likely candidate for a grisly knockout, UFC on FOX 5 is still loaded with the lightweight title fight between Ben Henderson and Nate Diaz, Mauricio Rua vs. Alexander Gustafsson, and Motivated Penn vs. Rory MacDonald.

(Jeez, I haven’t seen such poor fight choreography since Sonny Corleone went to town on that punk Carlo for beating on his kid sister.) 

If our past few posts are any indication, it doesn’t really matter what the subject of this article is, because you Taters will inevitably turn the comment section into a discussion on a feller who goes by dipsetkilla, whether he fucked your mom or not, and how gay you would be based on whether he fucked your mom or not. Personally, I think we should have dipset and bootystar (remember him?) engage in a winner-takes-all battle of incoherent superiority. Then again, dipset is probably hitching up his trousers and throwing a five dollar bill on my mother’s nightstand as we speak, so clearly I have a dog in this fight. Maybe I just miss bootystar and such whimsical gems as: “I bet the gladiator got asked cuz he was caught starring at the pork barrel sausage in the littereen next to his bald headed one yed jack of pades” but I digress.

Aaannnyyway…a pair of bouts have been added to Strikeforce’s stacked (LOL!) final card that will feature Luke Rockhold vs. Mr. Glass, Daniel Cormier vs. some dude, Josh Barnett vs. Imhotep, and Whoshisface vs. Whatshisname. We don’t mean to over-hype these fights, but needless to say, they will forever change your definition of the word “Superfight.”

(Weidman delivering an inspirational speech while still in his hospital bed, following surgery Wednesday | Via Weidman’s Youtube account)

The first step in Chris Weidman’s elaborate counter-plan to UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva chasing super-fights and blatantly avoiding him was completed Wednesday, as the contender underwent successful shoulder surgery. Weidman went under the knife to repair a host of problems, including a torn AC joint and a torn labrum and rotator cuff.

Unbeaten in nine professional fights, Weidman set himself apart as the clear number one contender to Silva’s belt with wins over former title challenger Demian Maia and fellow top contender Mark Munoz. The Long Island native’s campaign towards gold came at an inconvenient time as the champion turned his attention instead towards fights with Stephan Bonnar and, potentially, Georges St. Pierre, claiming he had no interest in defending his belt for some time.

Weidman was then matched up with Tim Boetsch at UFC 155, but his recent injuries forced him to pull out of the bout. Silva is still campaigning for the fight with St. Pierre, but GSP seems reluctant, at best, to make it happen. With Silva off filming the next, great crime film epic and saying he won’t fight again until late 2013, it looks like he and the number one contender’s schedules might just match up once more. Through his twitter account, Weidman said, “Surgery went perfect…I will be 90 percent in three months and 100 in four!”

(DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO THE GIRL, JUST DON’T HURT ME.) 

Meet Nandor “The Hun” Guelmino, a.k.a the man Josh Barnett will face in his final Strikeforce appearance at the hilariously mistitled Strikeforce: Champions event on January 12th. As you might have noticed, he is a terrifying individual who looks something like the freakish offspring of The Tall Man, The Silver Surfer, Imhotep, and an eighty pound bag of cement. With a record of 11-3, Guelmino has collected 7 straight victories not by consuming the souls of his opponents before pulling their spinal chords through their assholes as one would imagine, but rather by two earthly TKO’s, three submissions, and a pair of decisions. At 6’3” and just over 230 pounds, perhaps the most freakish thing about Guelmino is that he will actually be giving away some size to Barnett, who usually weighs in at just under 250lbs.

Having collected 6 victories by way of submission, it will be interesting to see how Guelmino will deals with the aggressive grappling attack of a guy like Barnett. My prediction: By lifting Barnett above his head, putting him in The Torture Rack, and spiking him through the canvas like a football. He will then grab the microphone from Gus Johnson and proclaim himself to be Ashta, Devourer of Worlds before unleashing a hellish sand monster in his likeness that descends upon the audience and wipes them out in one final flurry. Despite the massive loss of life, the moment will ultimately be declared a bit of redemption for Strikeforce.

Get familiar with “The Hun” after the jump.

(Props: FUEL TV Australia)

The latest in a series of video spots promoting the UFC in Australia, “The Art of Fighting Part 3: Learning to Dance” focuses on combat sports legend Mark Hunt, the former K-1/PRIDE veteran who has found an unexpected career rebirth inside the Octagon. After losing six consecutive MMA fights from 2006-2010 (five via armlock, one via Manhoef), Hunt is now on a three-fight win streak — including knockouts of Chris Tuchscherer and Cheick Kongo — and is currently calling out old foes while on injury leave.

Hunt is not a complicated man, and his best quotes in this clip are zen-like in their simplicity. (“The best part about fighting is the fighting.” “My gameplan is just knock his head off. That’s the gameplan.”) Plus, the 38-year-old New Zealander says he’d probably be in jail if not for fighting. So thank you, MMA, for saving Mark Hunt from a shameful life of white-collar crime.

After the jump: The first two installments of “The Art of Fighting,” in which James Te-Huna, Bernardo Magalhaes, and Anthony Perosh explain their philosophies on standup and ground-fighting.

(Being the ‘King of PPV’ has its perks. Photo via CombatLifestyle)

It is no wonder Dana White called Georges St. Pierre the “King of Pay Per View” (PPV) on a conference call tuesday. UFC 154, which featured the return of the welterweight champion, succesfully defending his title against interim champ Carlos Condit, did anywhere between 680,000 to 700,000 buys, according to Dave Meltzer.

Meltzer has used industry sources to report PPV buy estimates reliably and accurately for years. In his latest column for MMA Fighting, Meltzer says that the St. Pierre vs. Condit event was the third-highest performing PPV for the organization this year, behind only UFC 148 which featured Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen II, and UFC 145 which was headlined by Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans.

Both UFC 148 and 145 were centered on intense and well-publicized rivalries. UFC 154′s success can likely be attributed more singularly to the personal popularity of the returning Georges St. Pierre. As Meltzer explains:

(Props to FightersOnly for the find.) 

In the filmmaking/advertising business, the most common phrase you will hear is “Hey kid, if you want to make it anywhere you WILL get in this van.” But the second most common thing you will hear is to “show, not tell” — which oddly enough, normally precedes the first saying. So it is perhaps a testament to the people working in the Brazilian sector of Honda’s marketing department that they were able to convey so much in their new 45 second ad despite the fact that I couldn’t understand a goddamned word that was being said.

Seriously, this video has everything. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira rubbing lotion on his gloves. NO I DON’T KNOW WHY. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira eating a pineapple and dancing Gangnam style, then getting a spray tan. AGAIN, NO IDEA. Yet at the end of the day, the message is clear: HONDA GOOD. HONDA GET WOMAN. And being that it’s Brazilian, the ad also makes sure to squeeze in a few seconds of said women engaging in a pose-off whilst flames shoot out of some giant mechanical ring in the background. Did I not mention that this video has everything?

After the jump: A completely unrelated video that proves the superiority of Brazilian television once and for all. Again, it’s probably better if you just go in blind for this one.

(You want that hot, throbbing cauliflower ear, don’t you. Oh, yeah. Ohhhh y-[*vomits*] / Photo via TitoCouture)

One of the oldest combat sports training myths is that abstaining from sex helps your performance on fight night. Phil Baroni may have put it best when he told us: “You take punches better when you abstain from, ah…punching your own loads out. It makes you fuckin’ mean, I’ll tell you that much.”

But other fighters, including UFC welterweight champion/masturbation-enthusiast Georges St. Pierre have dismissed the no-sex rule, and apparently, Ronda Rousey preps for a fight by smushing as much as possible. As she told Jim Rome last night:

“For girls it raises your testosterone, so I try to have as much sex as possible before I fight actually. Not with like everybody, I don’t put out like a Craigslist ad or anything, but if I got a steady I’m going to be like ‘yo, fight time’s coming up’,” Rousey said with a laugh.

However: “You can’t (expletive) somebody and go fight that day.”

Sex with Ronda Rousey has to be a terrifying experience. Think about it. There you are, just sitting on the couch catching up on the Sunday Styles section, when Ronda busts in wearing a damp rash-guard, and says “Yo, fight time’s coming up. Dick: out,” then angrily demands that you get in her guard while at least one Diaz brother lurks around in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to use the blender. Are you man enough to deal with that?

(One of these men is a bantamweight, the other is a lightweight. They will fight at featherweight Feb. 2nd)

We were already plenty excited for former lightweight champion Frankie Edgar‘s challenge of featherweight king Jose Aldo — which will finally take place February 2nd at UFC 156 — but it turns out the stakes are larger than we thought. Aldo says that if he beats Edgar he will know he’s ready to move up to 155 pounds and challenge for that belt.

Edgar is trying to see if his speed will translate at featherweight and bring him more gold. Aldo is similarly using the fight as a litmus test for his readiness to take on the lightweights of the world. MMA Fighting’s Dave Doyle has the report.

“I’ve considered going to lightweight,” said Aldo. “As soon as my trainer decides that I can go up, then I will. This fight with Edgar will be a turning point. If I can win [against] him well, then I can prove that I can go [to 155 pounds].”

Everybody gather around and break out your tinfoil hats, because it’s conspiracy time.

The above clip comes to us courtesy of Inside MMA, who recently held interviews with both the lightweight number one contender Nate Diaz and coach Cesar Gracie, who is beginning to sound like little more than an omnipresent entity whose soul (get it? SOUL? I should really be getting paid more for this gold) reason for existence is to echo whatever a Diaz brother manages to mumble out between bong rips.

From what we could decipher, it appears that both Nate and Cesar have finally caught on to the longest running screwjob in MMA history: The judges vs. The brothers Diaz. Gracie was able to see through the bullshit and was the first to bring this to light, stating:

 I’ve never really seen a close decision where the nod was given to the Diaz’s. If it’s close, they’re going to lose. I don’t know why, maybe the judges don’t really care for them that much; they’re brash. 

While we were initially content to play Team Cesar Gracie a song on the world’s smallest violin, upon doing a little research (I KNOW RIGHT), we actually stumbled across a plot so thick and intricate that not even Nicolas Cage could unravel it in a series of increasingly shitty kids movies, so join us after the jump if you think your puny Earthling brains can handle it.

(The “doctor” in question. No joke, this is seriously the guy we’re talking about. / Props: Blog do Olivar)

In the U.S., a doctor is simply the person you visit when you need more prescription medication. In Brazil, a doctor is a parent, priest, and boss rolled into one — they know what’s best for you, and damned if you’ll try to defy them.

At least that’s how it seems lately. Two weeks after Cris Cyborg explained that she couldn’t possibly cut ten pounds of her freakish muscle mass because DOCTOR’S ORDERS, we have this translated report by Eduardo Cruz at FightersOnly, in which Anderson Silva‘s “personal physician” [Ed. note: referred here only as 'Camoes,' but we'll get to that after the jump] had a lot to say about Silva dropping a weight class to face Georges St. Pierre at 170, which is something that I didn’t think was even being considered by anybody, but nevertheless:

“It would be a crime for Anderson to try and fight at 77kg. He could maybe make the weight but the physical loss that he would suffer would be too much…For me this fight should happen at 80kg, since that would already be a sacrifice for Anderson. It would be his first shot at this weight and we would have to implement a very specific work for him to be able to perform at 100% of his capacity…Anderson losing 3gk and St-Pierre going up 3kg would be more fair for both of them and for the public, who would watch a great fight.”

(Props: YouTube/HBOsports)

Here in the Potato Nation we don’t take time to discuss boxing all too often. But we’d be remiss if we didn’t bring you HBO’s behind-the-scenes look at the next chapter of a rivalry that is already one of boxing’s greatest of all time.

On December 8th, Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez will fight one another for the fourth time in eight years. And no, this isn’t one of those boxing promoter scams where the same decrepit guys get rolled out in wheelchairs to fight one another, over and again, long after interest has died in the match up. Pacquiao and Marquez fill two of the top three pound-for-pound spots in boxing, in this writer’s opinion, and their first three fights have left fans clamoring for a fourth.

As episode 1 of this 24/7 documentary mini-series shows with footage and round-by-round analysis from the fighters, coaches and even a judge, all three fights were extremely close and could have gone one of three ways — a win for either man or a draw, as the first one did in May 2004. Since then, Pacquiao has gotten the nods, with a split-decision in 2008 and a majority decision last year.

(When Marcus Davis says he’s going to be Sloth for Halloween, Marcus Davis IS Sloth for Halloween.) 

Before Nate Diaz decided to put the Funyuns aside and start making a serious run at the 155 lb title, he floated between the welterweight and lightweight divisions for the majority of his UFC career with mixed results. However, his greatest performance at 170 came at UFC 118, where Diaz faced off against Irish-American powerhouse Marcus Davis. Known for his Angel of Death right hand, Davis was fresh off a TKO victory over the UFC’s favorite narcoleptic French Canadian, Jonathan Goulet, at UFC 114, and planned to do the same with Nate. But as Rory Markham and Melvin Guillard should have informed him, one-punch knockout power stands no chance against the iron chin and hailstorm of pitter-patter punches that constitute a Diaz beating.

The fight was classic Diaz — taunting within the first 30 seconds of the fight, getting rocked yet continuing to taunt upon recovery, breaking their opponents will until they finally give up — and received Fight of the Night honors when all was said and done. While we can assume that Nate blew the extra cash on beluga caviar and front row tickets to A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Davis undoubtedly spent his hiring Thedus’ finest doctor to remove the baby alien that Diaz had somehow implanted in his right eyeball.

Video after the jump. 

(Silva vs. Jones, in Madison Square Garden: If we dream it, we can achieve it. / Fan-poster by NixsonDesign via MiddleEasy)

Since 2004, the UFC’s Super Bowl weekend card in Las Vegas has been one of the most stacked pay-per-view events on the promotion’s annual schedule — and 2013′s will be no different. But in a conference call held yesterday for UFC on FOX 5: Henderson vs. Diaz, Fox Sports Group president Eric Shanks voiced his desire to make 2014′s installment a massive free event on FOX, as the network will also be broadcasting Super Bowl XLVIII, which goes down February 2nd, 2014, at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. As Shanks said:

“We think that Super Bowl week in New York is going to be like anything else. We’re gonna own the city, we’re going to own that week of sports television and there’s nothing better we can think of than a big fight that week. So, we’re talking to Dana and Lorenzo about that. We’d love for that to happen. We’ll see if they can put that together.”

Hosting a UFC event in New York City still seems like a lost cause, but maybe the neighboring Izod Center in East Rutherford (max. capacity: 20,000) would be a logical next-best option. And if the FOX really wants to make Super Bowl weekend a monster for their network — thereby sticking it up ESPN’s ass — Shanks and his crew would do all they can to make sure that the Super Bowl Eve 2014 UFC card is stacked to the damn rafters. So let’s all put on our fantasy-caps and come up with the craziest five-fight main card that the UFC could put on that night. Here’s how I see it…

Anderson Silva vs. Jon Jones [main event, 195-pound catchweight]
The fantasy fight of all UFC fantasy fights. Anderson will indeed take most of 2013 off before defending his middleweight belt in late fall 2013, maybe against Bisping, maybe against Weidman. (By the way, the Silva vs. GSP fight isn’t going to happen. Sorry about that.) Meanwhile, Jones will smash Chael Sonnen in April, then beat up the winner of Henderson vs. Machida in late summer. At that point, there won’t be anything left for Silva and Jones but each other. Convinced by the promise of a non-title catchweight and a billion dollars, Silva will finally accept the fight against Jones. Anderson Silva will win by TKO in one of the UFC’s all-time greatest battles, then announce his retirement during the post-fight interview with Joe Rogan. The Spider will then bow to the crowd, before beaming back up to his home planet. Rogan will be like, “I FUCKING KNEW IT! AND NONE OF YOU WOULD BELIEVE ME! AHHHHHHH!”

(Props: brakus73)

Years ago, my dad saw a young Georges St. Pierre fight before I did. When I finally got a chance to see GSP in action, I agreed with my dad that he was like some Jean Claude Van Damme movie character come to life, what with his crazy kicks and foreign accent.

How awesome and funny would it be if Van Damme and his real fighter counterpart ever met, we laughed. Turns out, it’s just creepy.

Van Damme spent some time in Montreal with St. Pierre before UFC 154 working out, which is captured in this new video that he produced. We give Van Damme credit for being an actual athlete and for staying in amazing shape — and for, more than likely, being able to kick our asses — but he is creeping into Steven Seagal territory with this video.

While no one can approach the arrogance and outright fabrications of Seagal, Van Damme’s video does include a highlight reel mixing him acting in movies and St. Pierre fighting in real life. Ok, for writers of a certain age (mine) who grew up loving Van Damme movies, short-short splits on counter tops and all, the highlight reel is kind of dope.

Then you realize, “wait, is he actually drawing parallels between his movie roles and St. Pierre?” All that we can forgive the fifty-something actor. It is understandable that a Hollywood actor would try to get attention by jumping on to the MMA bandwagon. Van Damme also seems to be a legit fan of the sport and its athletes. It’s just that he may be too much of a fan of its athletes. Remember his creepy attempted make-out session with Fedor a few years ago?

(Fighting, film, and Movember pioneer Bruce Lee)

Today would have been the birthday of martial artist and television and movie star Bruce Lee. Lee died tragically young, but still made an indelible mark on the world during his short life by demonstrating his unique abilities as a fighter, instructor and showman.

Part philosopher, part fighter and part entertainer, Lee did much to draw attention to martial arts in a more practical way as well as blow up stereotypes of Asian people around the world. As a practitioner and teacher, Bruce did not limit training to one set of dogmatic forms or a single style. Rather, he studied any and every style he could, from wing chun to western boxing to Judo and Jiu Jitsu. He took what worked from each and jettisoned what did not. He also was a pioneer in his emphasis on strength and conditioning.

To commemorate the man Dana White calls “the father of mixed martial arts,” we’re going to get out of the way and let you enjoy some videos of him tonight. One is a collection of grainy films showing Lee during demonstrations, a couple others are clips from films of his where he’s kicking butt in style and we’ve also included a couple full-length documentaries that we enjoy on the life and careers of Lee.

Enjoy and then get out there and train, like Bruce would have you do!

Before we get into the Pat Healy/Jorge Masvidal booking –which we’re sure will rustle your jimmies to no end — we’d like to discuss the actual name Strikeforce has decided upon for its final event and how it more or less serves as a euphemism for Strikeforce as a company over the past couple years. Champions. They named the event Champions. It made sense originally, with nearly every one of their belts being on the line, meaningless as they were. But one groundbreaking signing and a slew of injuries later, and Strikeforce’s final card — their swan song, their dying epilogue, the culmination of years of blood, sweat, and tears — will die a vapid, depleted shell of what it once was. Like Layne Staley.

Two of our title fights have been canceled. Daniel Cormier is fighting a complete wild card and it isn’t even for the title. Is Nate Marquardt defending his newly earned welterweight title against Tarec Saffiedine? Who the hell cares; one of them is going down in the next week and you can mark my words on that. We may like to have our fun at Strikeforce’s expense around here, but they deserved better than this. They gave us Gina Carano in a towel damn it. They gave us this gif of Ronda Rousey. Not to mention all of the less sexual, fight-related stuff they gave us, like Nick Diaz vs. Paul Daley, Scott Smith’s epic comebacks, and the God damned Nashville Brawl.

And now, they’ve been drained dry. Scott Coker had a milkshake, and Dana White had a milkshake and a straw, and Dana drank Coker’s milkshake.

(Diaz, seen here preparing the only gameplan that hasn’t been thwarted by Anderson Silva in the octagon yet. And no, that’s definitely not a hash pipe next to the dartboard. Props be to MiddleEasy.) 

Nick Diaz may be a shortsighted, virulent, pot smoking, press conference-skipping delinquent who didn’t go to college for buying houses, but damn it, we can’t help but love the guy’s “take on all comers” attitude when it comes to fighting. Blame it on the increased popularity of the sport, the ridiculous string of injuries, or whatever you want, but suffice it to say, the Diaz mentality of accepting fights is a fading one. It seems we can’t go a day without hearing that so and so turned down a fight with this guy, or that this champion will maybe fight this one under a ridiculous set of circumstances, and honestly, this prima donna nonsense has all but completely quelled our interest in seeing the “superfights” we would have killed for just a couple months ago.

But before you jump down our throats, we (or at least I) do not blame Georges St. Pierre for turning down the Anderson Silva fight. Because like GSP said, there are still several viable contenders in his division and he is just coming off an 18 month layoff. Plus, if Anderson wants to fight the smaller man, he should pony the fuck up and drop down to his weight class. And since Silva is (for whatever reason) dead set on fighting a smaller opponent next, Cesar Gracie recently threw Diaz’s name into the fold as a potential future opponent, because why the hell not at this point:

We’re pushing for the GSP fight. That’s what we’re going to push for, GSP or Anderson Silva. That’s the two fights that interest us the most, and that’s the one’s we’re going for.[Silva's] people are into it. We’re into it. The fans, I think, would be into it. We’ve got convince Dana about it now. Obviously the fight that makes sense to them, and I don’t disagree, is Anderson-GSP, and like I said, I would watch that fight. That would be great to watch. But let’s get real. If GSP just absolutely says no, then what? You can’t make a guy fight. That’s the thing. And Anderson, if they want to promote a superfight and if the stars align, I think Nick would be into it.

(Props: Ten Count)

Inspired by that punch-power machine Drago was lighting up in Rocky IV (seriously), Michael Williamson designed the Ten Count Bag to be a cutting-edge training tool for boxers and MMA fighters to analyze their striking power and frequency, and track their improvement. The tricked-out heavy-bag uses a bluetooth connection to transmit information to your computer, tablet, or cell phone, telling you how hard you hit, the average force of your strikes, and how many punches you throw per round, giving you hard data to compare your workouts over time; you can even compare your performance against other users online.

Williamson and his team are producing the Ten Count Bag independently — which ain’t cheap, as he explains in the video above — so he’s looking for some outside help to get his product to market. Here’s the link where you can donate money to his cause or pre-order one of the bags. And here’s what’s in it for you:

- Once the Ten Count Bag has raised $30,000, one CagePotato donor will be randomly selected to receive one of the bags. All you have to do is type the word “CagePotato” in the comments section of the Indiegogo page after you kick in some cash, and you’ll be entered to win.

- Everyone who pre-orders a bag (check out the $299 “Super Early Bird” level) before December 9th will receive a free pair of MMA gloves and a set of handwraps, compliments of CagePotato.

Once the Ten Count Bag hits market, Williamson plans to develop another product that will monitor concussions in combat sports — which could revolutionize training safety in MMA and boxing. (You wouldn’t need to be a Ph.D. candidate to know when to quit fighting, for example.) So give the video a look, donate or order if you can, and help an awesome new training product get off the ground — and possibly into your own home.

In our first installment of MMA in the Wild, we observed the fighting patterns of the HillBillyetica DipShiticus, a creature that used Facebook chicanery and a surprisingly diverse striking attack to display his dominance as alpha male of the porch-dwelling, slack-jawed humanoid tribe. In today’s installment, we will witness a beast of an entirely different nature (puns!), known henceforth as the Ninjitsu Ballisticus. Combining the hidden rage of the World of Warcraft freak out kid with the technical striking abilities of a young Cung Le, Ballisticus does not head into the wild seeking a fight, and will only resort to such primitive methods of solving a dispute when his back is against a wall.

But when his back is against the wall, prepare for hell, because he will hit you with such force that both a visible dust cloud will appear on impact and THE GUILE THEME SONG WILL BE EXPELLED FROM THE HEAVENS.

And just as quickly as he thrashes you to and fro like some kind of child’s play thing, he will declare that “He didn’t come to the river for this shit!” before vanishing back into the trees. The Ninjitsu Ballisticus, ladies and gentlemen.

-J. Jones

(Props: 0fficialbjpenn)

Check out the short video above and ask yourself one question: Has BJ Penn ever looked in better shape for a 170-pound fight? The former two-division champ released this video on Thanksgiving — 16 days before his December 8th meeting with Rory MacDonald at UFC on FOX 5 — and the video title claims that he’s already at 175 pounds, a quick schvitz away from making his welterweight limit. And to borrow an uncomfortable running gag from the UG, that’s 175 pounds of solid, thick, tightness.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say the Prodigy might be hitting the…actually, I’m not even going to go there. But bottom line, this is what a “motivated Penn” looks like. We found him, you guys. And for comparison, this is what a trench-coat model looks like. Does BJ have one more triumph left in him?

You guys remember when Jordan Mein elbow-raped Evangelista Santos like a God damned Papau New Guinea savage back at Strikeforce: Kharitonov vs. Barnett? Well, he did the same thing again last weekend to Forrest Petz, who is kind of like the poor man’s Jay Hieron, meaning that he is damn near flawless on the local circuit, yet falls apart every time we see him under the bright lights. To be fair, Petz can actually claim a UFC victory under his belt (he’s actually 2-5 lifetime), but Jordan Mein gives not a shit about where you’ve been. He only cares about where you are going to be, which, should you decided to scrap with him, will be crumpled against the cage beneath a hellstorm of elbows that would send Kenny Florian into a jealous, baby-kicking tantrum.

Not unlike Sensodyne’s rapport with American dentists, 9 out of Mein’s last 10 opponents would recommend him to anyone seeking to get their ass kicked. Now that he’s managed to successfully separate himself from Strikeforce’s sinking ship, how long do you think it will be until we see this kid in the UFC?

-J. Jones

(You should have gotten after him when you had the chance, Anderson. / Photo via Ric Fogel @ ESPN)

It appears that Georges St. Pierre wants to fight Anderson Silva about as bad as ‘The Spider’ wants to fight Jon Jones. That is to say, not at all, right now. We were told by UFC Prez Dana White that should the welterweight champ beat Carlos Condit as he did at UFC 154, he would take on the Brazilian middleweight king next, but St. Pierre revealed all of that to be a cruel tease recently while on Radio-Canada’s Tout Le Monde en Parle, or, Everyone is Talking as we’d say here in civilization. MMA Fighting had the translation.

“[The Anderson Silva] fight is the cherry on the sundae,” St. Pierre explained. “[Silva] wants to fight me so he can then retire. I would like to fight him too, but after I fight him and win the fight, what happens next? These days, yeah, there’s a lot of money to be made, but I don’t fight for the money. My motivation is to be the best. Like we said, to be the Wayne Gretzky of my sport. So if I fight him, what happens next? It will be over. So yes, I want the fight, but I want to take it when I decide the time is right, not when he wants the fight to happen.”

St. Pierre doesn’t want to move at Silva’s schedule just because he’s champion of a lighter division, even though Silva would appear to be much closer to retirement at age 37 than St. Pierre is. Speaking of weight differences, St. Pierre has appeared to have gotten some specific intel on just how much heavier Silva is than him.

More on that, as well as the complete video interview with St. Pierre wearing sunglasses and sipping wine, you know, just to emphasize the whole French thing, after the jump.

Look, we here at CagePotato can’t exactly claim to be the most up-to-date, unbiased, or even grammatically correct MMA website out there. Not that we’d want to, because that shit is for nerds anyway *high fives other members of the cool kid’s table*. But if there’s one thing we are good at, it’s bringing you, our readers, the latest in hot chicks and ring girl-related goodness, be it photos, videos, or arrest reports. We even have a little tab devoted to our shameless gawking of these hotties located at the top of the page. Go ahead. Click it. You know you want to.

But every so often, Arianny takes a week off from working the graveyard shift, or Brittney strips down and locks herself in her room until she finishes her latest tribute to Jimi Hendrix, leaving us with little “hot chick tenuously connected to MMA” content to bring you. Thankfully, there are women like Caitlin O’Connor who actually reach out to us for the chance to be featured on our Paddy’s Pub Billboard of sorts. And while Caitlin’s only involvement in the sport of MMA may be the pair of 4 ounce gloves she strapped on for a recent shoot with Lavar Johnson (photos inside), that’s good enough for us damn it!

So check out the absolute best photos of Caitlin in our time-tested gallery after the jump, then hit Caitlin up on her Twitter, because we’re positive that a girl who looks as good as this is just waiting for an internet love connection. Also, make sure to pick up the December issue of Maxim when it hit stands, as it will feature both Ms. O’Connor and a certain mug that you’ll probably recognize.

-J. Jones

(“It looks like this artist…*puts on sunglasses*… finally got his SHOT at fame. YEAAAAHHHH!!!) 

There is perhaps no fighter in MMA history who has looked more deadly in victory and more broken in defeat than former WEC featherweight champion Urijah Faber. After dropping his umpteenth title bid (albeit one of those pesky interim ones) to Renan Barao at UFC 149, many MMA pundits were calling for “The California Kid’s” retirement, because in their eyes, being able to beat 98% of your division just isn’t good enough to warrant your existence.

Yet for some reason, it appears that Faber still wants to continue making boatloads of cash in this thing called MMA, and will return at UFC 156 to face off against Vaughan Lee.

Who in the blue Hell is Vaughan Lee, you ask? Good question.