(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

In advance of Georges St. Pierre‘s long-awaited return at UFC 154 on November 17th, the UFC has made four of the welterweight champ’s greatest performances available on YouTube, along with the last four fights from the interim champ, Carlos Condit. Unfortunately the videos aren’t embeddable, but you can use the handy player above to give yourself a refresher course on the following…

- GSP’s blitzkrieg of Jay Hieron in his Octagon debut at UFC 48.
- GSP’s rear-naked choke of Frank Trigg at UFC 54.
- GSP’s revenge-TKO of Matt Hughes to win his first title at UFC 65.
- GSP’s revenge-TKO of Matt Serra to reclaim the unified belt at UFC 83.
- Carlos Condit snatching a knockout victory from the jaws of defeat against Rory MacDonald at UFC 115.
- Condit’s highlight-reel knockout of Dan Hardy at UFC 120.
- Condit’s demolition of Dong-Hyun Kim at UFC 132.
- Condit’s controversial decision win over Nick Diaz at UFC 143.

And for a different take on GSP’s historic reign in the sport, check out lookoutawhale‘s classic “Bloodsport Karma” film after the jump. We know it’s a lot to watch, so feel free to take the rest of the day off.

(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.) 

No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.

What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.

Former UFC middleweight slugger Drew McFedries — who competed in the Octagon from 2006-2009 without ever meeting the judges — is recovering after being stabbed in the back during a nightclub altercation last Saturday.

According to reports, the incident occurred at The Chorus Line, a BYOB strip club (with a somewhat checkered past) in Davenport, Iowa, where McFedries has been working security for the last six months. The alleged assailant was a 42-year-old man named Calvin Hammock, who stabbed McFedries on the left side of his back, with the blade hitting his scapula. McFedries and his fellow bouncers were able to subdue the man until police arrived. Hammock was taken to the Scott County Jail in Davenport, but was released less than an hour later after posting a $10,000 bond.

FightersOnly passes along more details, which suggest that Calvin Hammock maybe wasn’t the sanest dude to begin with…

(…sit back there and say his jacket ain’t luxurious when you know it is, bitch.)

The UFC announced yesterday that its next UFC on FOX event — slated for January 26 at Chicago’s United Center — will be headlined by Demetrious Johnson‘s first flyweight title defense against TUF 14 winner John Dodson. Dodson has gone 2-0 at 125 pounds since his stint on the reality show, including his recent TKO of top contender Jussier Formiga.

But hey, maybe you don’t care about that sort of thing. Luckily, the UFC also confirmed that UFC on FOX 6 will feature the long-rumored lightweight tilt (and possible #1 contender match) between Donald Cerrone and Anthony Pettis, a guaranteed barnburner for which Cerrone has already promised to “pack a lunch.” Considering that Pettis has been out of action since February due to injuries, Cowboy might be the favorite here. Of course if he wins, Cerrone could be booked against a guy who already beat him twice in the WEC, or a guy who punked him as badly as any UFC fighter has ever been punked — which makes us wonder if this is one of those “#1 contender match for one guy but not necessarily the other”-type scenarios.

But wait, there’s more…

(Unfortunately for him, Bonnar’s sad puppy face failed to inspire any sympathy.) 

Not that it really matters given his retirement from the sport and all, but according to the UFC’s VP of regulatory affairs, Marc Ratner, the verdict has already been turned in for Stephan Bonnar, who pissed hot after his UFC 153 loss to Anderson Silva. “The American Psycho” will receive a one year suspension as a result of his positive test for Drostanolone. But again, being that Bonnar pulled a Richard Nixon and got the fuck out of office — thereby negating the weight of all possible punishments — we’re sure he won’t be planning on putting up much of a fight. The fact that he has yet to even make a statement regarding his test further solidifies this theory.

But here’s where things get interesting.

Also according to Ratner, the punishment in the case of Dave Herman‘s second failed test for marijuana will not only be a suspension of “months,” but could require him to enter a rehab facility as well.

This weekend, the UFC will be making its first ever trip to China, which totally explains why they decided to stack a garbage ass card with Japanese fighters and put a Vietnamese guy in the main event, because close enough, right kids?

All kidding and racially misguided motivations aside, we will be in for a hell of a fight when Rich Franklin and Cung Le throw down this Saturday. Both men are known for turning in crowd-pleasing performances each and every time they step into the octagon — thanks in part to Rich’s fearless demeanor and Cung’s Cirque du Soleil-esque kicking ability — and both have gone win-loss in their last four fights. It’s not exactly a must win for either of these company men, but with Franklin currently standing at around a -300 favorite heading into fight night, we figured we would take a look at just how well these two match up, Head to Head style. Enjoy.

(“It’s a romantic comedy called ‘You’ve Got Wrist-Locks.’ You play my girlfriend’s father, and you don’t approve of our relationship because I’m so fucking old and gross.”)

File this one under not sure if awesome. According to a new report from Estadão (via Fighters Only), UFC middleweight king Anderson Silva will be filming a role in an action-packed “police story” alongside, who else, Steven Seagal. Silva received the first script draft this week, and is heading to the U.S. to shoot the flick after he gets back from a vacation in Dubai. As Silva explained:

“I will make a lot of fight scenes and this is also the first time I will act. I received a long plot and I will have the opportunity of putting in practice what I have been studying for some time.”

Wait, here’s the best part:

“I don’t want to be seen as somebody who caught the role because I am on the media and to be a fighter. Of course it is difficult, I am not Lorenzo Lamas, but I want to do it well done to the people see that I am a good actor.”

LOL, Lorenzo freakin’ Lamas! That’s the first (and surely last) time we’ve heard that guy’s name used as a standard for fine acting. (“Is Andy a good actor? Well, he’s no dude-from-Renegade, but I suppose he’ll do.”)

(We can’t be the only ones seeing the metaphorical connection here, right?) 

Less than a week ago, Hurricane Sandy blew through the Northeast like the seventh plague of Egypt, leaving over 40,000 New Yorkers alone without a home to go back to. One of the people we originally reported to be among the homeless was UFC middleweight contender Chris Weidman, whose house was “lost in the storm” according to a tweet sent out by UFC light heavyweight Ryan Bader.

And although it turns out that the damage wasn’t as bad as we reported (his house is still standing for starters), it will still be weeks, if not months, before Weidman’s home is deemed livable again. Luckily for us, Weidman was generous enough to give MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani a tour of his home and the surrounding damage and even managed to capture some footage of his house as the storm was progressing. Pretty captivating stuff.

Video after the jump. 

(Hey, that reminds me…please remember to vote today!)

The hilariously nonsensical light-heavyweight title match between Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen just got a venue. UFC officials confirmed yesterday that Sonnen’s public execution will take place at UFC 159, April 27th at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ.

It’ll be the UFC’s fourth appearance at the Prudential Center, where Jones first became light-heavyweight champion by tearing apart Mauricio Rua in March 2011. If Jones defeats Sonnen in April — which he absolutely, positively will, and I’m willing to bet my whole blogger purse on it — he will tie Tito Ortiz’s UFC record for consecutive light-heavyweight title defenses (5).

Jones vs. Sonnen will follow the fighters’ coaching stints on TUF 17, which will surely put the sport in a good light and won’t at all be an embarrassment to all humanity. So start saving that cash, Tri-State Area residents. You don’t want to miss history.

Anthony Johnson picked up his third consecutive victory at 205 pounds over the weekend at World Series of Fighting 1, and while we described the moment as best we could, words simply don’t do justice to this Knockout of the Year candidate. Check out the moment above, in which Johnson, owner of the most cursed retinas in MMA, gets poked in the eye during an exchange with DJ Linderman, then immediately responds by turning Linderman into lumber with a single right straight. Even Johnson’s former boss was impressed.

After the fight, Johnson began speculating wildly (our favorite kind of speculation!) about how crazy it would be if the WSOF decided to book him against Andrei Arlovski:

“I thought about that fight too, I’d take it if they offered it to me. I was actually thinking about it today. I was thinking about it today whenever I watched the fights, I watched the whole card today, and I was like it would be crazy if I got to fight Andrei Arlovski…If it happened, I would accept it. Andrei’s a great athlete. I remember when he won the title, I remember when he lost the title, I’ve followed his career. He’s a great fighter, a real athlete, a real fighter too, so it would be an honor to fight him. If it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. That’s just something that popped in my head this morning, what if it did happen? That would be crazy.”

That would indeed be crazy — especially considering that AJ was competing successfully at 170 pounds as recently as October 2011. Then again, their size difference isn’t much of a difference at all. Arlovski was also victorious in his World Series of Fighting appearance, TKO’ing Devin Cole in the first round of the show’s main event. Arlovski has now gone four fights without suffering a scary concussion, which is as impressive an accomplishment as anything else that happened this weekend. Check out the Arlovski vs. Cole fight after the jump, and tell us who you think would win the hypothetical moneyweight matchup between Rumble and the Pitbull.

“My management paid HOW MANY Pitbull bucks for this song?! Paulo Filho won’t be impressed.”

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has released fighter salaries for the inaugural World Series of Fighting event, held last Saturday night in Las Vegas. Former UFC heavyweight champion Andrei Arlovski made the most money that evening, bringing home $60,000 for crushing Devin Cole in the main event. While we’re all glad to see Arlovski get paid, hopefully he spends some money on better entrance music; having some rapper bark your name is something that an amateur on the undercard of a local show would do to get people to notice him (assuming none of his friends knew how to shave stars into his hair, of course), not something a former UFC champion should do to keep people interested in his career. Just saying, it was pretty cheesy.

Taking home the second-largest purse of the evening was Anthony “Rumble” Johnson, who earned $55,000 for his highlight reel knockout against D.J. Linderman. Since moving up to a weight class that he should reasonably be fighting at, Anthony Johnson has looked pretty impressive. It’s a shame that he sacrificed so much of his career – not to even mention his health – cutting to welterweight, but at twenty-eight years old it’s by no means over for the UFC veteran.

Keep in mind that none of these salaries include any undisclosed bonuses or end of the night bonuses that World Series of Fighting may have given out. Also, even though this promotion is riding a lot of hype and had recognizable talent throughout the card, keep in mind that WSoF is a brand new promotion that just put on its first event. Basically, no one made Anderson Silva money, is what I’m trying to say:

(If this man does not strike you as the kind of person who spends most of his free time getting stoned, playing Xbox, and waxing poetic about the flaws of Jiu-Jitsu, then we don’t know who does.) 

When we first heard word that Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman failed their UFC 153 drug tests — for Drostanolone and Marijuana respectively — we couldn’t help but reflect on the timeless words of George W. Bush when he stated, “Fool me once…..shame on………..shame on you. Fool me, I can’t get fooled again.” Unfortunately for Bonnar and Herman, they failed to fool the piss test even once while in the UFC (at least to our knowledge) and have felt the unforgiving wrath of the Interwebs as a result of their insolence. Hearts were broken. Tears were shed. Butts were hurt.

And in an effort to gauge their fellow fighters feelings on the issue, FightHubTv recently interviewed such fighters as Travis Browne, Eddie Alvarez, and Tyrone Spong to get some perspective on the issue. Also, Rampage Jackson threw in his two cents and actually managed to do so without turning the interview into another “Dear Diary” entry aimed at the UFC. Good for him.

Video after the jump. 

(Bruce Lee is “the father of mixed martial arts” — which more than qualifies him for a spot on the next UFC event poster. Video via LancasterLTD)

As we enter the first full week of Movember, your moustache-in-progress may be looking thin, patchy, and unattractive — more befitting a McPoyle than an alpha male. Stay strong and stick with it, because you have greatness in your future.

Thanks so much to the folks who have already contributed cash to our Movember team, the Mo’tato Nation; your money will help fund awareness efforts, research, and other critical support for men’s health issues. Last year, the Break and Friends network (which we’re a part of) raised over $40,000. If you want to help us smash that mark this year, please register and donate.

Onto the business at hand. Our good friends at Lancaster LTD — who are also celebrating Movember with a series of limited edition t-shirts — have pledged us a couple of their new Movember Bruce Lee tees for the Mo’tato Nation. To win one, simply guess the exact outcome of this Saturday’s main event fight between Rich Franklin and Cung Le at UFC on FUEL 6 in Macao, along with which bonus(es) the fight will earn, if any. Your entry should be in this format…

(“Well Michael, you’ve really talked yourself into a corner this time.”) 

The good news: Michael Bisping is being given a fight that will at least semi-legitimize his claims of being the number one contender should he emerge victorious from it.

The bad news (for him at least): It’s against this man. (Author’s note: I’m sorry, I literally could not find ONE Vitor Belfort highlight video with a decent soundtrack. For shame, Youtube users.) 

Although the UFC tried to keep this matchup under wraps when it was first rumored, it looks like we will be seeing Bisping square off against the Brazilian “Phenom” Vitor Belfort after all. Not only that, this fight will serve as the main event of UFC on FX 7 on January 19th. Bully day!

Bisping has spent the past year or so calling out every viable contender in the middleweight division, so he should be more than satisfied (or terrified) knowing that he will be taking on a former light heavyweight champion and middleweight title challenger in Belfort for his next fight, as the Brazilian would easily make for the biggest win in the Brit’s career should the scaffolding fall from the roof and knock Belfort out in the first round. Because that is the only way Bisping is winning this one.

But who are we kidding, Belfort isn’t making it to this fight in one piece anyway, if at all.

Basics of negotiation dictate that one starts with a high asking price. UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva doesn’t need to be told that twice.

Fans want Silva to fight light heavyweight king Jon Jones, but neither he nor Jones really seem all that interested in tainting their legacies testing themselves against one another. Well, sorta, but not really. Nonetheless, UFC Prez Dana White has confidently declared on several occasions that he has the cashflow to change their minds completely.

“I think the Jon Jones fight is a big fight. I know my man says ‘No, no, no,’” White told reporters at the UFC 153 post-fight press conference, “but the amount of money that would be offered for that fight, I guarantee you I will make Anderson Silva say, ‘Yes, yes, yes.’”

“O RLY?”, Silva recently replied in an interview with Brazil’s Tatame Magazine, stating that his price tag to fight Jon Jones is a completely reasonable 50% of the UFC’s net worth. “Let’s ask him to see if [White] will give me 50% of the UFC,” Silva told Tatame.

White has publicly estimated that the UFC is worth $2.5 billion. Half of that is…well, we’re writers not mathematicians but we’re betting its a lot of money.

(Watch Randleman transform from Bruce Banner into The Incredibly Vengeful Hulk at 30 second mark.) 

Back in August, we ran with a story on former UFC heavyweight champion and recently retired (at least according to his Wikipedia page) martial artist Kevin Randleman, who threatened to “rip a piece off” that “pussy” Matt Riddle via Twitter for allegedly disrespecting his wife back in the day. It’s not that we didn’t believe Randleman, it’s just that we were a little puzzled that Riddle, who always struck us as the Corky from Life Goes On of the MMA world (specifically, Corky during his “Fight the Power” phase), would even posses the ability to verbally berate anyone other than those “butter-toothed Brits.”

But whatever Riddle did say to Randleman’s wife must have been a doozy, because in his recent interview with MiddleEasy, Randleman absolutely lost his shit when Riddle’s name was brought up, calling him a “bitch ass motherfucking pussy” (4 STRIKE COMBO!!) among other things. Making it all the more hilarious was the fact that Randleman’s profanity-laden rant came less than 30 seconds after he discussed what it was like to finally be a role model for his son now that he was removed from all the negative publicity he’s received in the past. You just don’t see that kind of irony everyday.

After the jump: The low down on what allegedly led to the beef between Riddle and Randleman, as told by a UGer claiming to be a former ring announcer for Pure MMA.

(“It is a statement… a proclamation of the inner attitude of the alpha. It is about having the confidence that says ‘I am my own man, and will decide the rules for how I live my life according to how I see fit.” )

There are times, ‘taters, when we don’t have to put our own stamp on a post about something in pop culture that touches on the fight world in order to make it humorous.

This is one of those times.

Here’s what makes this relevant to CP – Former top UFC lightweight Roger Huerta once gave up MMA to pursue modeling and acting. He eventually returned to the sport, but not the UFC, and hasn’t been able to recreate the same success he initially he did. No shame in that and he’s not done yet if he doesn’t want to be.

But we’re fine with saying that just a tad of shame might be in order for his newest product endorsement – Alpha Nail nail polish marketed to men. Their marketing seems pretty strong (using images the fit, good looking Huerta surrounded by women while his nails, wow look at that, happen to be painted with polish) until digging deeper shows how sad it is (claims that it will make getting girls easier, ‘peacocking’ tips, etc.).

As they mention, many guys that don’t actually endorse the product, like Chuck Liddell, rock guitarist Dave Navarro and mother flipping Zac Efron (!!) paint their nails. So…you should, too. After the jump, check out the very helpful instructional video by MMA fighter Nick Gonzalez, incredible user testimonials, replete with their own douchebag lingo that takes some time to decipher and more images of cool guys being manly with nail polish on.

And, oh yeah, reason number three of why you should use Alpha Nail. Hint, it will help you have intercourse with females. Guaranteed.

Clearly, there are zero inappropriate jokes to be made here.

In the territorial days of professional wrestling, the loser leaves town match was a way for wrestling promoters to wrap up a storyline when one of the wrestlers left his company for a rival promotion. Even though MMA is much different from professional wrestling, our sport still books these fights every so often. It isn’t exactly uncommon for the UFC to book fights between two not-quite-contenders, where the losers receive a pink slip and a call from Ray or Bjorn.

Case in point: The UFC announced yesterday that featherweights Leonard Garcia and Cody McKenzie will meet up at UFC 155. With both men being a combined 3-7 in their last ten fights (2-8 if you aren’t blind, deaf and dumb), and both coming off of less-than-impressive losses, the loser of this fight will almost certainly be spending time outside of the UFC.

On paper, Leonard Garcia is heading into this bout in worse condition than his opponent. Garcia has only won once in his last five fights, and that victory was a total bullshit decision over Nam Phan. The only thing that may save Garcia is the fact that he’s usually entertaining in defeat – his Zuffa career includes a total of five Fight of the Night awards, one Knockout of the Night and 2010′s Fight of the Year, a total bullshit victory over The Korean Zombie at WEC 48. Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, judges have an inexplicable love for the guy.

By CagePotato contributer Andreas Hale

The World Series of Fighting held their first event at the Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas, NV. Although the main card appeared to be stuffed with squash matches, it was a pretty good night of fights and I was there to get a good gauge on the atmosphere and if WSoF could become a player in the MMA world that Dana White rules with an iron fist.

First things first, it wasn’t the sellout they promised as word is that they only sold 1500 tickets and comped double that to ensure a nice fight atmosphere. Nevertheless, it was a good evening of fights that the crowd was receptive to. Oh yeah, ring girls. Lots of ring girls. They were like a platoon that switched in and out. I didn’t know ring girls needed breaks but whatever. It’s enough variety to keep fans engaged between rounds. I mean, Brittany Palmer and Arianny Celeste are great but six beats two every single gotdamn time. Right? But I digress…

Media sat on a stage that put us eye level with the cage and we could damn near touch it (or slap a cameraman) if we tried hard enough. We could actually feel some of the punches landed. Pretty good stuff. Oh yeah, and there were fights.

The main event of last night’s Bellator 79 produced one of the oddest instances of an athlete giving up mid-contest since Bob Hamelin retired during a minor league baseball game. Santos dominates the fight from the beginning, rocking him with early combinations and controlling him on the ground. Yet as the fighters are separated, Santos takes out his mouth guard and appears disinterested in continuing. A few half-assed punches later, Hale counters Santos, who drops to the canvas and turtles up until the fight is waived off.

Was this just a case of Thiago Santos having conditioning issues? Probably, although gassing out halfway through the first round is pathetic even at the amateur levels. Is Richard Hale’s striking just that underrated? Maybe – Santos lost a tooth during the fight, which explains why his mouth was bleeding, although don’t ask me to point out the punch that caused it. Regardless of the reason, Hale earned a victory last night because Santos essentially gave up during the fight, and will now face the winner of Vinicius Queiroz vs. Alexander Volkov for the promotion’s heavyweight championship.

After the jump – Shahbulat Shamhalaev knocks out Mike Richman at Bellator 79 in a far more traditional fashion.

(Video via the UFC Youtube page)

Not going to beat around the bush here and make you read more than you’d like to before getting to the goods, ‘taters. Above a we’ve got Episode 1 of UFC Primetime: Georges St. Pierre vs. Carlos Condit for you and its definitely worth a watch. You know the drill by this point – behind the scenes access to the fighters’ training, personal lives and thoughts.

November 17th UFC welterweight king St. Pierre fights again for the first time in over a year and a half, and since tearing his ACL. Interim titlist Condit is intent on being more than a one-man welcoming parade.

Episode 1 offers a glimpse at the new and improved life Condit has been able to make for himself as champion. He’s got a new fancy home he and his young family now inhabit, no doubt made more possible by champion’s fees. For his part, St. Pierre talks more in depth about his long recovery than we’ve heard before.

Turns out that, at first, St. Pierre’s return to training was going so poorly that he and his teammates wondered if he’d ever be able to fight effectively again. The idea depressed him at first, but then drove him to excel. Episode 1 also shines the spotlight at the vaunted head coaches for both fighters, Firas Zihabi for GSP and Mike Winkeljohn for Condit. Nice to see ‘Wink’ finally get some credit for a change.

- Elias Cepeda

(P-p-please, Ben! Don’t knock me out! You’re making a big mistake!)

Although none of the bouts have been officially confirmed by the UFC as of this writing, it looks like the UFC will be sticking with their time-tested method of stacking its foreign cards with local fighters, as Brazilian’s Gabriel Gonzaga, Diego Nunes, Milton Viera, and Iuri Alcantara have been booked to face Ben Rothwell, Nik Lentz, Godofredo Castro, and Johnny Eduardo, respectively, at an unnamed event scheduled for Janurary 19th in Brazil.

Rothwell vs. Gonzaga is probably the biggest fight out of the four that us non-Brazilians can get excited about. Both men are big heavyweights who aren’t afraid to throw leather and have knockout power when they choose to do so. Although Gonzaga has relied heavily upon his grappling base (and rightfully so) since un-retiring and returning to the UFC, it’s only a matter of time before we see “Napao” revert to the whimsically hopeful striker that we came to know and love in his victories over Mirko Cro Cop and Chris Tuschsererererer’s balls and his losses to Shane Carwin and Junior dos Santos. Speaking of dos Santos, Gonzaga was scheduled to square off against Geronimo dos Santos at UFC 153, but the bout was cancelled when “Mondragon” failed his medical exam due to Hepatitis B (Author’s note: Brazilian prostitutes, they’ll get you every time.). Rothwell, on the other hand, recently saved his UFC career by knocking out Brendan Schaub in hilarious fashion at UFC 145.

(Click for full-size image.)

Like and Share this post on our Facebook page for a chance to win the killer Optical Panacea poster shown above, signed by Urijah Faber himself. Five winners will be selected at random by Monday. Thanks to Torque Sports and Performance for the hookup, and stay tuned for more Torque gear giveaways coming soon! Now, onto today’s links…

- Must-See Infographic: UFC History, Facts, and Figures (Havocstore.co.uk)

- Vitor Belfort: Forrest Griffin Declined A Fight With Me (Fightline)

- Bellator Debuts in Michigan on Nov 30, Good-Koreshkov Tournament Final Headlines (BleacherReport)

- UFC 154 Judo Chop: GSP and Smashing Past the Guard (BloodyElbow)

- Dan Henderson Says He’ll Help Chael Sonnen on TUF and Corner Him Against Jones if His Schedule Allows (MMAFighting)

- Kyung Ho Kang out, Motonobu Tezuka meets Alex Caceres at UFC on FUEL TV 6 (MMAJunkie)

- UFC Confirms “Minotauro” Nogueira-Fabricio Werdum as ‘TUF Brazil 2′ Coaches (MMAScraps)

- Top 5 MMA Fights Remaining in 2012 (HeavyMMA)

- 10 Moustache Styles for Movember (MensFitness)

- Honest Trailers: The Amazing Spider-Man (ScreenJunkies)

- Is Jeremy Lin Overrated? The 2012-13 NBA Point Guard Rankings (Complex)

- Hey Nostalgia Buffs – The 1990s Really Weren’t Very Good [20 PICS] (EgoTV)

- The Funniest Signs From ‘The Simpsons’ [PHOTOS] (WorldWideInterweb)

- Razor Tales #1: The Barber Shop Club (MadeMan)

(…but damn, did he look good doing it.)

As first reported by MMAJunkie, Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman both tested positive for banned substances in their UFC 153 post-fight drug screenings. With no athletic commission in place in Brazil, the UFC independently tested all 24 fighters who competed at the October 13th card at Rio de Janeiro’s HSBC Arena — and unfortunately nailed a pair of repeat offenders.

Bonnar, who announced his retirement from MMA earlier this week, tested positive for the anabolic steroid Drostanolone following his TKO loss to Anderson Silva in UFC 153′s main event. It is the second steroid bust for Bonnar, who was suspended for nine months after popping positive for Boldenone in 2006. Now that Bonnar is retired from the sport, a suspension won’t be much of a punishment, though it certainly puts a black mark on the end of a crowd-pleasing career inside the Octagon. (Conspiracy theory time: Bonnar knew he’d be retiring after the Silva fight, and he simply didn’t give a fuck.)

As for the one they call Pee Wee…

I don’t care if Halloween was yesterday, when I came across this video of Arianny Celeste posing in a graveyard in her skivvies roughly five minutes ago, I felt inclined to immediately share it with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am, Potato Nation. I don’t know what magazine or calendar or necrophilia fetish website this shoot by Sam Honfoto was for, nor do I care to find out. It’s Arianny Celeste standing around in her underwear and getting attacked by zombies. That’s all I care about, and the same should go for all of you.

It’s funny (or perhaps sad), I’ve seen so many photos and videos of Ms. Celeste since joining the CagePotato staff — because I never once checked her out before then *looks nervously around room* – that I have begun to pick up on the go-to poses she has perfected over the years. There’s the panty pull (seen at :57), the classic hand bra, the double hand hair grab, and the very rarely seen behind the back ass shot. That last one is like seeing a unicorn at the exact moment that Halley’s Comet passes by.

And if you thought that video was awesome (or even if you didn’t) you will probably enjoy this much more…thorough (?) behind-the-scenes video of Brittney Palmer’s latest shoot for FHM magazine after the jump. Spoiler alert: It contains more side boob, under boob, and extended shots of dat ass then you’ll probably be able to handle at work today. Adjust your screens accordingly.

(The best way to stop Cheick Kongo from kneeing you in the jewels? Turns out, it’s a simple jab. Who woulda thunk it?) 

As is the case for approximately 95% of the UFC’s current roster, Mark Hunt was forced to pull out of his last scheduled fight (against Stefan Struve) due to injury. But while he’s been quietly recuperating his knee and enjoying his current, not to mention improbable 3 fight win streak in the UFC, he’s apparently also been thinking about leveling the score with some of his former foes. Mainly, that of Alistair Overeem, who defeated Hunt by first round keylock when the two clashed back in June of 2008 at DREAM 5. It was Hunt’s third straight loss to come via form of arm-lock, but it certainly wouldn’t be his most painful.

In either case, it appears that Hunt may have heard through the grapevine that Alistair stated he would prefer to fight as soon as he got his license back, title shot or not, and figured he could kill two birds with one stone. Those two birds being a bit of redemption and possibly the next heavyweight title shot. He told The MMA Hour: 

If they’d like to get me a fight I’d like to get a rematch with Alistair Overeem, you know, when he comes back from his injury or from whatever, his hiatus. You know? I’d like to have my rematch with him. I’d be willing to fight next year so it doesn’t matter. If he gets a title shot, that’s good on him.

We hate to sound like a bunch of little schoolgirls but OMG JOE SILVA BOOK THIS FIGHT WE’LL LUV U 4EVER PLZZ!!

(Props: UFC)

Carlos Condit‘s platform of “Knockouts…Knockouts…Shorts” may sound nice, but his last fight proved that he’s beholden to the same special interests that Georges St. Pierre is. For real change in the welterweight division, you should go with the third-party candidate.

Actually, the first thing this video makes me think about is all the Americans who will buy the UFC 154 pay-per-view next month but won’t bother to vote in the presidential election next week. Get it together, people. If you don’t vote, you don’t get to bitch and moan for the next four years when your guy loses.

(And we mean that literally — Guillard is an arsonist with a deep hatred for farm structures.)

Between Carwin vs. Nelson, Barry vs. Del Rosario, and Brookins vs. Poirier, December 15th’s TUF 16 Finale is shaping up to be one of the best free cards of the year. It’s also looking like only the season’s welterweight finalists will get a spot on the finale card, which would be a first for the show, though I doubt too many people (outside of the hardcore Sam Alvey fanbase) will be disappointed, since it makes room for even more great matchups between proven UFC vets.

Case in point: The UFC announced yesterday that a lightweight smash-up between Melvin Guillard and Jamie Varner has been added to the lineup. Both fighters are coming off of losses in August, although they earned Fight of the Night bonuses for their gritty efforts. Guillard was the victim of a knockout against Donald Cerrone, in a wild 76-second firefight at UFC 150; it was Guillard’s third first-round loss in his last four fights. Meanwhile, Varner’s improbable UFC comeback was stopped abruptly when Joe Lauzon finished him by triangle choke during their battle at UFC on FOX: Shogun vs. Vera.

So which fighter will get back on track, and which bonus check(s) will be handed out? Shoot us your predictions in the comments section.

(If you are implying that this photo has anything to do with odds…you’re probably right.) 

You’ve gotta love the kind of needless analysis and ridiculous speculation that the Internet era has brought to modern sports. Despite the fact that the Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane Cyborg fight is still trapped in MMA purgatory, the mere possibility of the matchup is apparently enough for several gambling sites around the MMA blogosphere to start laying out the betting lines for what could be the biggest fight in WMMA history. If it ever happens.

Currently, the women’s bantamweight champion is listed between a -160 to -170 favorite over the former featherweight champ on various sports gambling sites. Sure, Cristiane hasn’t fought in nearly a year since she was stripped of her title for a positive steroids test, and Ronda hasn’t met a challenger with anywhere near the kind of devastating knockout power that Cyborg possesses, but who are we to judge the motives of our cyber-bookie overlords?

(Bonnar has clearly yet to inform the little guy of the rules regarding small joint manipulation in MMA, but we’ll give him a pass for now.) 

I don’t mean to get all transcendent on you Taters, but to me, life is little more than a cyclical series of events; with death comes birth, with loss comes acquisition, and so on. And before you ask, yes, I take all of my philosophical life lessons from The Lion King. So it only makes sense that just a day after we bid farewell to one of MMA’s greatest ambassadors in Stephan Bonnar — professionally at least — we should welcome Stephan’s newborn son into the world.

Stephan released this photo on his Twitter account yesterday, along with the caption: “Just wanted to welcome in my MINI ME to this world…right in time to wish ya’ll a Happy Holloween!”