(Damn, Brittney, where’d you get those vintage Brawlin’ Buddies?)

It’s a good time to be Chad Mendes, Nation. Not only has he been all but cleared of the battery charges he was facing following a massive bar brawl in October, but the UFC apparently feels so bad for sacrificing his undefeated virginity to Jose Aldo at UFC 142 that they’ve thrown him three straight gimme fights against dudes who would be lucky to wash his jockstrap at Team Alpha Male.

First he got called out by Cody McKenzie, which somewhat justified their insane pairing at UFC 148 (which ended in just over 30 seconds, by the way). And last weekend, Mendes dispatched promotional newcomer Yaotzin Meza in just under two minutes at UFC on FX 6. That’s two fights at 36K a piece with a total fight time of under half a round. No wonder he calls himself “Money,” the dude’s somehow become the most efficient worker in the UFC. Think about that for a second, Potato Nation, then take a moment to wonder aloud why Mendes has been paired against TUF 5 runner-up Manny Gamburyan at UFC 157.

(I have no joke prepared. I simply wanted another opportunity to remind you that this was a thing that happened.)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, Nation. And since the ratings for The Ultimate Fighter are nose-diving faster than Charlie Sheen into a silica sandbox, old Dana White has had to step up his obligatory pre-TUF hype a notch. You might recall this from last season’s TUF: Smashes, which Dana declared to be the “CRAZIEST SEASON OF TUF EVER!!!!” in the weeks leading up to it; a claim that — although we cannot refute — we are going to go right ahead and call bullshit on.

So perhaps you should take his recent bit of insider info regarding The Ultimate Fighter 17 with a grain (or a 10-pound bag) of salt. The Baldfather recently told MMAFighting that there is apparently one contestant on the upcoming season so dangerous, so terrifying, that he is “scaring the shit out of” his fellow contestants:

I know you guys are going to call bulls— on me and all that (Ed note: Well, at least he’s honest.). I told you guys, last season of The Ultimate Fighter was the worst season in the history of TUF (Again, props DW). This next season is so awesome and so badass. We have a guy on this season of The Ultimate Fighter, every fight he’s in, someone goes to the hospital.

The whole house is terrified of this guy. F– terrified.

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(You can’t see his face from this angle, but we’re guessing it looked something like this. / Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Click for full-size version.)

The stunt-journalism powerhouse known as VICE magazine has launched its own MMA site called Fightland, which features the kind of on-the-scene video profiles and thought-provoking prose that we’ve come to expect from that crew. In particular, we recommend their new interview with Jonathan Brookins, who was just submitted by Dustin Poirier at the TUF 16 Finale. Short version: We’re going to have to start preparing a “And Now He’s Retired” post for this guy, because his days in the sport might be numbered. Here’s what the former Ultimate Fighter winner had to say about his fateful meeting with “The Diamond” and the uncomfortable realizations he made that night:

“It’s not hard to make a career in the UFC. If you really want it, you can make it happen. I think I just talked myself of really wanting it. I don’t know if I talked myself out of it or if I really don’t want it anymore. That made it tough to keep going and to fight last weekend. I didn’t really have much fight left in me. I kind of hit a dead end. 

I definitely had my mind on other things I wanted to do and pursue. I just stopped believing in the fight business and stopped believing in what it was I was even doing. I just didn’t quite understand. There wasn’t much that I wanted about that (Poirier) fight…This quest to be a fighter has gotten to be frivolous, to be the wrong pursuit. I know it can be pursued the right way, but I know I’m not anywhere close to it. I’m not really down to live this temporary, right-now way of life…

Before the fight I came in a little bit overweight. Mostly because I was bounding around a lot – living in Oregon then New York then Montreal. But everything was real sporadic. So I was cutting weight, and I went to a bikram yoga class, something I do all the time. This was Wednesday, and the weigh-in was Friday. I started to get real dizzy after running that morning and sitting in a salt bath and then the yoga class. I got dizzy like I was going to pass out. By the end of the class, I was cramping up. My feet were cramping. By the end of the class I think I hit severe dehydration. My legs cramped up really bad. I couldn’t move. I was exhausted, like I was going to die. My neck, back, and chest all cramped up. I felt tired and weak. I started throwing up all night and was real sick.

(Healy Pat: The only title challenger so obscure that Strikeforce couldn’t even remember which of his names came first.) 

We’re going to go out on a limb and assume that Pat Healy was either an SS guard or Ed Gein in his past life, because in recent weeks, something we can only chalk up to karma has been ravaging through his opponents like Roy Nelson through a free buffet. After collecting five straight wins under the Strikeforce banner — a feat made all the more impressive when you consider that Strikeforce has approximately 10 fighters left in their roster — Healy was scheduled to face off against lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez on Strikeforce’s September 29th card. However, when Melendez went down with an injury (go figure), Strikeforce quickly realized that the card was so garbage-ass that they should probably just cancel it altogether. And then cancel their next card for good measure.

Cut to mid-November. A still-injured Melendez declares that he is opting out of Strikeforce’s final event and will instead wait until the UFC absorbs the promotion to resuming training. Wanting to fill out their already injury-plagued final card, Strikeforce books Healy against a former challenger to Melendez’s throne in Jorge Masvidal. Shits were not given. But in an even crueler twist of fate, news has just broke that Masvidal has also gone down with an undisclosed injury and may be forced to withdraw from his January 12th showdown with Healy.

(You see, kids, this is why we don’t break the fourth rule of Project Mayhem. Photo via Complex)

By Jason Moles

As is customary, nay tradition, around these parts, we’re hitting the eggnog early and often this week — thus, the obligatory Top 10 list to close out another year in the world of mixed martial arts. It’s not all fluff, though: Last year we predicted a champion would test positive for a banned substance and Brock Lesnar would retire. Not bad, huh? So grab a seat while we break out the crystal ball and see what 2013 has in store for us.

1.) Showtime stays in the MMA biz, will announce deal with Invicta FC and others.

MMA is just too popular to completely wash your hands of. Showtime may finally be done with Strikeforce, but that only means they’re now free to partner up with the likes of all-female Invicta FC or the World Series of Fighting, both of which could be looking for more permanent homes after their early success in 2012. Don’t let the Invicta PPV news fool you; they can’t win that battle. No matter who inks the deal, expect Showtime to counter-program at least one UFC event.

2.) A Ronda Rousey loss brings about the swift execution of women’s MMA in the UFC.

(“Damn it. I know I came in here for something…” Photo via Strikeforce)

As if we needed any more evidence that Strikeforce is shutting down after their next event, check this out: Orange County Register reports that veteran banger Robbie Lawler will make his first UFC appearance in over eight years when he faces Josh Koscheck in a welterweight bout at UFC 157: Rousey vs. Carmouche (Feburary 23rd, Anaheim). The fight will also mark Lawler’s first match at 170 pounds since his knockout loss to Nick Diaz at UFC 47 in April 2004.

Though Lawler’s recent stint in Strikeforce suggested that the HIT Squad member’s best days are behind him — he won just three of eight fights for the promotion since 2009, and is coming off a decision loss to Lorenz Larkin — “Ruthless” hasn’t lost his savage knockout power, which helped him earn classic victories over Melvin Manhoef and Matt Lindland. (Fun fact: Since leaving the UFC after a middleweight loss to Evan Tanner at UFC 50, Lawler has earned all of his 11 victories by stoppage, with 10 coming via KO/TKO.)

(Welterweight, middleweight, we don’t care. Just don’t ever lose that twinkle in your eyes, you handsome son of a bitch.) 

Although Patrick Cote managed to secure his first UFC win since 2010 at UFC 154 last month (by way of DQ), we’re still not quite sure if his decision to cut down to welterweight falls into “last ditch effort to save career” territory or not. Regardless, Cote recently told MMAWeekly that he is planning on cutting down to 170 for his next bout now that his UFC 158 rematch with Alessio Sakara has been cancelled due to Sakara’s kidney issues. His reasoning: They build middleweights a lot bigger than they used to.

We’ve been thinking about it since about a year now. I think now it’s the time. I was a pretty decent middleweight a couple years ago, but now those guys are really, really big. They’re cutting from like 230, 225, and I’m walking around at 205 so I spoke with my coach and my nutritionist and it’s doable so we’re going to do it.

Although it seems like Cote might be exaggerating those numbers a little bit, one must first consider that Anthony Johnson walks around at upwards of 230 pounds and used to fight in the same division Cote is shrinking down to. Hell, Thiago Alves still fights at 170 and that dude regularly eats Adam Richman under the table in between training camps.

(Props: YouTube.com/fighthub)

FightHubTV recently got in front of boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya, and asked him for his thoughts on the Rory MacDonald vs. BJ Penn fight at UFC on FOX 5, which De La Hoya was apparently live-tweeting. It seems that De La Hoya enjoys that MMA stuff once in a while, although he was a little confused by Rory’s performance:

“Well I wondering like, ‘why don’t you just go finish him?’ Because [MacDonald] looks like he has talents, he looks like he has that little ‘it’ factor…just keep on working on it, keep on working on it. You have to feel that killer instinct. Feel it! And go after it. Grab it, get it…I would love to see him use that jab to the body. If I was in there with that opponent he was fighting against, that jab to the body would have just paralyzed him. I mean, it would have. You could see it. I mean, obviously you could see things from outside, but he’s a talented fighter, my hat goes off to him.”

Dang, I kind of feel bad that Oscar referred to UFC legend BJ Penn simply as “that opponent [Rory] was fighting against,” and I’m sure it would break Penn’s heart to hear that. But honestly, I wondered the same thing during the fight. Particularly in the second round, when Penn was doubled up from body shots, with only his pride and otherworldly toughness keeping him on his feet — could MacDonald have turned it up a notch and beaten Penn to the ground? In the third round, when Rory was, ahem, “trying to mix it up [with] different distances” — what if McDonald just threw more strikes instead of showing off his totally sweet Muhammad Ali shuffle-step impression?

(James Thompson, seen here demonstrating the CagePotato “What in the bloody hell are you on about, mate?” rule of early stoppages.) 

Over the past few days, we’ve witnessed a pair of rarely seen finishes in the octagon — a suplex KO and a flying reverse triangle — and after we here at CagePotato collectively picked our jaws up off the floor and found a clean pair of shorts, we got to thinking, what other techniques/finishes do we rarely come across in the MMA stratosphere? And more importantly, which of these techniques/finishes have we not devoted some sort of gif or video tribute to already?

Taking all of those factors into account, we came to the standing TKO, a finish so uncommon in MMA that we could only name a handful of occurrences before having to resort to the Interwebs for assistance. So in honor of the iron-jawed sumbitches who wouldn’t bow to defeat even when it was kneeing/punching/kicking them damn near to death, we’ve placed our favorite examples of this phenomenon below. Check ‘em out after the jump and let us know which stoppages you thought were warranted and which ones could have gone on a little longer.

A day after it was reported that Aleksander Emelianenko had been fired by M-1 Global due to repeated violations of his contract, the Russian heavyweight has announced his retirement from MMA at the age of 31. Emelianenko released the following statement on his Facebook page (translation via MMA Lives Here):

Dear fans,
I want to thank you for your support, for having supported me in spite of all that they say about me. Unfortunately, I will not be able to perform in the ring because of health problems caused by old injuries. Of course, as an athlete it’s a hard time. I am grateful to my fans and partners for their support, for believing in me, and I am grateful to my detractors. Your attitude always made me move forward and achieve new things. I realise now I was hit by a barrage of accusations and criticisms, not directly related to my job. Unfortunately, there will always be people who want you in bad situations to score points. I don’t want to comment on anything, explain or justify. Each of us in life does good and does bad – that is our nature. I think I did a lot for the sport and I hope my example has drawn a lot of young people to the gym. Otherwise, God will judge us all, in time. Now I want to give the publicity away. I want to take care of my health, my family, which I lost, and my daughter, who I love very much. Perhaps I will see you again. Thank you! Be well and believe in God!
Your AE

Tall, mulleted, and covered in Russian gangster tattoos, Aleksander Emelianenko in his prime was just as intimidating a presence as his older brother Fedor. “The Grim Reaper” kicked off his MMA career in October 2003 with a decision win over Assuerio Silva at PRIDE Bushido 1, and went on to compile a 6-2 record within the PRIDE promotion, where Fedor ruled as heavyweight champion. Though losses to top heavyweights Mirko Cro Cop and Josh Barnett stymied his momentum, Aleks was responsible for some of the most memorable knockouts in PRIDE history. Witness:

(“Aw thanks bro, these chips are so clutch. Say, you’re not an undercover cop, are you?”/ Props: CombatLifestyle)

Already smacked down by injuries to Forrest Griffin, Chris Weidman, and Gray Maynard, December 29th’s once-epic UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez 2 card just got hit with another pair of withdrawals, less than two weeks before showtime.

First up: Cody McKenzie, the affable guillotine-choker who got gut-shot KO’d by Chad Mendes in his last appearance in July, has pulled out of his preliminary card bout with Leonard Garcia due to an undisclosed training injury. The UFC is currently searching for a replacement opponent for Garcia, who is looking to rescue his career after losing his last three matches. We’ll update you if/when Bad Boy gets a new booking. Update: Garcia will be fighting Max Holloway, who has won his last two fights against Pat Schilling and Justin Lawrence.

Speaking of undisclosed injuries, Czech wrestler Karlos Vemola is out of his main card match against Chris Leben, and will be replaced by Strikeforce vet Derek Brunson. After winning his first nine pro fights, Brunson has dropped his last two, a knockout loss to Ronaldo Souza and a decision loss to Kendall Grove. Leben vs. Brunson will remain on the UFC 155 main card, and will mark Leben’s first UFC appearance since his TKO loss to Mark Munoz in November 2011, and subsequent one-year suspension for oxycodone and oxymorphone. The Crippler is currently taking it one day at a time.

UFC 155′s bruised lineup is after the jump. Check it out, and ponder what could have been…

(And another thing that bugs me about the guy is his insistence on using curse words so often. It’s like, for fuck’s sake Bob, our fucking children are watching this shit.) 

When it comes to picking sides in a fight between Dana White and Bob Arum, it often feels like we’re simply choosing the lesser of two evils. Don’t get us wrong, aside from his stance on marijuana in combat sports, Bob Arum comes off as a chode for the most part, especially when he decides to open his mouth about how MMA fans are all a bunch of homosexual skinhead racists. But every now and again, The Baldfather says something so pants-shittingly stupid and drenched in irony that it makes us wonder whether or not he has been completely blinded by his own power. Take the following for example, in which DW calls Arum “the dumbest promoter in the history of the world” for allowing Manny Pacquiao to fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time:

Dumbest fight in history. Bob Arum is a moron. You don’t take that fight, you idiot. Why would you do that fight? It’s all about the money, that’s why. That was a money fight, that’s what that fight was done for. He should have fought Bradley. Bradley’s the fight they should have done. He would have knocked Bradley out, he would have got his belt back and now he’s back in the position he should have been in. [Pacquiao's] one of the best fighters in the world. He goes out and fights Marquez again? Bob Arum is the dumbest promoter in the history of the world.

Right…but Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen and Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz are somehow not “money fights.” In case you’re wondering, this is where I’d normally insert a Scanners headsplosion gif, but I’m too busy trying to nurse the puppy I just kicked after reading this quote back to life.

(Don’t worry, Fido, we’re pissed we can’t hump her leg either.) 

Thanks to the athletic supplement brand Gamma Labs, my penis has officially never been more confused in its life. It’s like a nervous groundhog down there, unsure of whether or not we’ll have six more weeks of winter. And all in the name of Christmas.

Picture this scenario: Brittney Palmer is in your living room, counting down the 12 days of Christmas in red lingerie, preferably while you wait for her evil but equally hot doppelganger to arrive and help you pick out stocking stuffers together (BA-DUM-TSH!). Sounds awesome, right? Now picture that, as you’re about to lay this gorgeous piece of work down by the fireplace, she suddenly morphs into PETE FREAKING SELL, complete with two black eyes and a shitload of tinsel (and probably a cold cut combo somewhere in there). Then Shane Carwin shows up. Then Chuck Liddell. Then Joe Stevenson and an army of caroling children. And so on. And so forth. It is a hellish nightmare that I wouldn’t wish upon the dingus of my worst enemy, yet Gamma Labs has spawned forth this erectoral purgatory on us all seemingly as some sort of cruel holiday joke.

Video after the jump. 

(Buy it right here for $24.95)

Need a last-minute stocking stuffer? Consider this attractive Urijah Faber-tribute t-shirt, which tied for first place in our Punch Buddies design contest earlier this year. Created by Peter Starwalt, the shirt shows Urijah in a chill-bro victory pose after smacking down a shark who dared chomp his board. (You can see a full-size version here.)

The design is now available on CagePotato’s official Redbubble page in a wide range of colors, and sizes ranging from three-month-old baby to XXXL man-whale. You can also get it in sticker form! Pick one up today and hang loose, Potatoheads.

Previously: The CagePotato ‘Don Fryed’ T-Shirt Is Available for Purchase!

Although it has suffered its fair share of injuries, the UFC’s year-end event is still stacked enough to ensure that the sport’s highest promotion goes out with a bang rather than a whimper (*cough* Strikeforce *cough*). Featuring Joe Lauzon vs. Jim Miller in a FOTN front-runner, a rematch of top middleweights in Alan Belcher vs. Yushin Okami, and the return of The Duffman, UFC 155 will hopefully continue with the trend established by last weekend’s TUF 16 Finale, which is to say “Vicious knockout, vicious knockout, suplex knockout, knockout, rinse, repeat.”

And no matchup on the card has a higher likelihood of ending with a fantastic finish than the main event rematch between former heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez and the man that took his belt away, current heavyweight kingpin Junior dos Santos. There were a lot of extraneous factors leading into their original clash at UFC on FOX 1 — Velasquez had come off back-to-back surgeries and dos Santos went into the bout with a torn meniscus. However, Velasquez looked like a man possessed in his first round destruction of Antonio Silva at UFC 146 and promises to bring the same one sided ass-kicking to dos Santos in the above preview, so check it out and give us your predictions for the fight in the comments section.

After the jump: A video claiming to have captured Velasquez tearing his ACL just two weeks before his loss to dos Santos at UFC on FOX 1. If that’s truly the case, Velasquez deserves major bro hugs for even making into the ring, because damn.

(Above: UFC 157 poster via @rondarousey. / Below: UFC 157 tickets banner via UFC.com. Click both for larger versions.)

See? I told you guys this wasn’t just an elaborate prank. Here we have Ronda Rousey and Liz Carmouche front-and-center in the first official promo poster for UFC 157, while Dan Henderson and Lyoto Machida lurk in the background, just a couple more innocent men subjugated by the gynocratic culture of the UFC.

From the moment this event was announced, fans and pundits have debated whether the UFC made the right choice in having its first women’s match headline a pay-per-view, especially when one of the competitors has no name value with casual fans. I thought Zach Arnold at FightOpinion had an interesting take on it yesterday:

When Gary Shaw was promoting Gina Carano as his women’s ace, was he in the women’s MMA business or the Gina Carano business?…Gina drew plenty of eyeballs against female fighters who had lower media profiles. She saw her run end against Cyborg, but it was a hell of a run. You can’t say that the experiment was a failure…

Much in a similar vein to Gary Shaw with Gina Carano, Dana White sees Ronda Rousey as his vehicle to reach the masses who only care about Entertainment Tonight, Extra, The Insider, Access Hollywood, Inside Edition, and random Youtube video clips where Rousey can make remarks about sex & testosterone and know that a billion people are going to talk about her comments. Rousey is completely shameless in the way she attracts what political pundits call ‘low information voters’ and she’s proud of it…

(Props: Kalle Uusitalo via the UG)

Rustam Khabilov‘s UFC debut at the TUF 16 Finale resulted in a first-round knockout of Vinc Pichel; the fight was finished by the last of three suplexes. (Somewhere in Coldwater, Michigan, Dan Severn sheds a single tear.) But as rare as suplex-KOs are in this sport, it wasn’t the first time that the Russian lightweight has pulled it off.

On August 16, 2009, Khabilov faced Akin Duran at an M-1 Challenge event in the Netherlands. The fight lasted all of 28 seconds. Watch as Khabilov takes the center of the ring, corrals Duran into a corner, clinches, then drops Duran directly onto his head with a belly-to-belly suplex, knocking him out immediately. Duran never fought again.

As for Khabilov, he joined Greg Jackson’s team about two years ago, built his record to 14-1, then pulled off one of the most impressive Octagon debuts since these guys. Any ideas on who he should fight next?

(“My favorite Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? Isn’t it obvious?”) 

You know, it really speaks volumes about what The Ultimate Fighter has become when the greatest display of MMA from the past season came during an event that featured next to none of the show’s participants. Add in the fact that the Ricci/Smith “finale” was the MMA equivalent of watching two illiterates play Scrabble (BRYNDEX is so a word!) and that should give you a good indication of the Tijuana back-alley abortion that TUF 16 truly was. Hell, 12 of the show’s 16 contestants have already been cut from the UFC’s roster and even the coaches couldn’t care less.

What does this all add up to? Mainly, a payout that is as abysmal as the show itself, save a few exceptions. Granted, the money almost seems fair considering the talent levels of the guys involved, but we’ll be damned if it isn’t semi-depressing to look at all the same. So check out the salaries along with our thoughts after the jump and let us know who you think got royally screwed.

The original title of this post was going to be something along the lines of “F’n A, Cotton! Some G Just J’d Into a RT at HFC, SOTY?” However, feeling that it didn’t hold up to the high standard of journalistic integrity you’re used to seeing on CagePotato, I thought I’d go with a more straightforward title. In either case, here’s some Guy named Wolfgang Janssen Jumping into a Reverse Triangle at last weekend’s Havoc Fighting Championship 1 card. He may have used a little help from the fence to do so, but damn, that is a Submission of the Year nominee if I’ve ever seen one. Agree or disagree?

Props to our buddies at MiddleEasy for stumbling upon this beautiful piece of footage.

-J. Jones

Nick Diaz fans, it’s time to put your money where your stinkin’ mouths are. MMAFighting gives us the heads-up that UFC 158‘s main event just opened up with Georges St. Pierre as a -430 favorite, and Diaz as a +310 underdog. In other words, a $100 bet on Diaz would net you a $310 profit should the challenger win on March 16th, enough to buy you some of that good weed.

The only other UFC 158 fight that currently has odds attached to it is the co-main event between Carlos Condit and Rory MacDonald, in which Condit is listed as a slight underdog — you can find him as high as +145 — despite the fact that he won their first meeting by late TKO in June 2010. Maybe the oddsmakers got a little too excited about MacDonald’s stomping of a past-his-prime BJ Penn when they set the line. Sure, Condit was taking a beating before his comeback knockout of Rory, but he’s certainly capable of doing the same thing again. Your thoughts, please.

But back to the main event — I feel like some of these betting sites should offer wagers on if Diaz will actually make it to the fight without anything stupid happening. And speaking of which, it seems like the booking of Hendricks vs. Ellenberger on the same card as GSP vs. Diaz is the UFC’s insurance policy against just such an occurance. As Dana White explained:

(We’re not trying to say that Bisping is looking past Vitor Belfort, but…yes, Bisping is literally looking past Vitor Belfort. / Photo via @vitorbelfort)

The UFC has always seemed to favor British star Michael Bisping, so it came as a surprise when Dana White announced to media on Saturday that “The Count” would “probably” receive a middleweight title shot should he beat Vitor Belfort next month in Brazil. I mean, why would Dana give the poor, defenseless Brit a virtual death sentence in a fight with Anderson Silva?

Oh, that’s right — Bisping has, in the verbiage of much of the media, “been campaigning for years” for a shot at the middleweight title. Of course, Bisping’s arguments have been more verbal than physical lately, as his current win streak stands at 1. (Still, that’s one more than Nick Diaz and Chael Sonnen can boast; if anything, Bisping is over-qualified to fight for the belt.) In related news, it was announced that Chris Weidman will now have to begin fighting and beating two opponents at once from now on to earn consideration for a shot at the middleweight title.

Anyway, this is just one of those “news” items that exists primarily to anger us, more than anything else. Bisping could very likely be creamed by Belfort at UFC on FX 7. Or, maybe Dana’s vague promise of a resulting title shot is just something he likes to say to make a fight seem more important.

After the jump: A video highlight of Michael Bisping getting knocked out by Dan Henderson. Yes, it really is a highlight video of that one punch over and over, along with arrogant promises from Bisping that belied his lack of self-awareness, and brief moments of him having difficulty opening a door. And before you accuse us of posting this just to bash the Count, well, we are, but only because he’s a bullying, cheating, race-baiting dick who is prejudiced against the short. That’s all.

(“Move along folks, there is nothing to see here!” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

If the title of this post sounds familiar, it might be because Alessio Sakara has kind of become a master of the do-over during his time in the UFC. Back in 2010, Sakara was scheduled to face the now-retired Jorge Rivera at UFC 118, but the bout was eventually cancelled when both men pulled out due to injury. The fight was rescheduled for UFC 122, but was cancelled again at the last second when Sakara came down with some Jamie Varner-esque flu symptoms that may or may not have been caused by tuna fish. The fight was then tentatively rescheduled for an August event but was eventually scrapped altogether.

So perhaps you should take the news that Sakara has been rebooked against Patrick Cote at UFC 158 on March 16th in Montreal with a grain of salt, because if history is any indication, Sakara ain’t making it to this fight in one piece.

(At times like these, you just have to keep telling yourself, “At least I’m not Ray Elbe…at least I’m not Ray Elbe…” / Image via MiddleEasy)

Can we all just pretend that Hector Lombard‘s UFC debut against Tim Boetsch didn’t happen? The heavy-handed killer we saw run down Rousimar Palhares like a frightened deer at the TUF Smashes Finale was the guy we’ve been waiting for and expecting since he jumped over to the UFC from Bellator. But there was a reason why Lombard’s dance partner looked tentative during the match — Palhares suffered ligament damage and broken bones in his foot after throwing a kick in the opening moments. Toquinho explains:

“During the fight, my kick was working well. But soon in the first round, one of my kicks hit Lombard’s shin below his knee. I heard a snap, and I knew something bad happened. From that moment on, I [started] feeling my foot more and more numb and without strength to walk around the Octagon.”

An injury early into a match can take a fighter’s mind completely out of the competition — just ask Travis Browne. As Palhares struggled to process his body’s new limitations, he turned into a sitting duck for Lombard’s power punches, and now the Cuban is officially a factor in the middleweight division. Meanwhile, Palhares has now lost his last two UFC bouts by first-round stoppage, including his TKO defeat against Alan Belcher in May. Get well soon, Stump.

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Click it for the glorious, punch-face-tacular full-size version.)

If we ever re-launch our MMA Mythology comic series — which, like so many CagePotato features before it, sputtered out immediately after its debut — the tale of George Sotiropoulos getting knocked out off-camera during the filming of TUF: The Smashes would definitely deserve its own installment.

According to Team U.K. coach Ross Pearson, the incident occurred midway through the show’s filming, and began with some smack-talk between he and G-Sots over Twitter. At some point, Pearson’s assistant boxing coach Erin Beach* inserted himself into the eDrama. So, the next time Sotiropoulos saw Beach on set, the Australian fighter threw a punch at him. Beach fought back, and knocked Sotiropoulos clean out. MMAJunkie has more details:

The scrap drew an instant response from UFC President Dana White, who raised Pearson and his team on the phone. ”Dana chewed our heads off,” Pearson said. “George was acting unprofessional. I get paid to fight; I don’t fight in the streets for free.”

About a month ago, the UFC’s welterweight title picture cleared up after nearly two years of confusion. Champion Georges St. Pierre returned after a long injury-induced lay off to face and beat interim champion Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks stopped Martin Kampmann to establish himself as the clear number one contender to the St. Pierre’s belt.

Despite this, St. Pierre lobbied to face the suspended Nick Diaz, who had a shot against St. Pierre but then gave it because of, you know, reasons, lost to Carlos Condit and then tested positive for marijuana metabolites. Diaz will indeed get another crack at St. Pierre on March 16th in Montreal, assuming he decides to pick up a phone for media conference calls and make all his flights, and Hendricks will risk his earned #1 contender status against Jake Ellenberger on the same night.

Speaking to MMA Fighting this weekend, Hendricks said that the UFC made him take the Ellenberger fight and stuck to his “Georges is running scared,” line. “Man, he’s scared,” Hendricks said.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

If you haven’t been keeping up with a television series, taking the time on a Saturday night to watch the series finale is a gigantic waste of time. Heading into the finale of a season that we could not have cared less about, the UFC realized that they were facing this exact problem. The promotion realized that if the finale was going to generate any kind of interest, it would have to actually place as little emphasis as possible on the fighters from the show. Rather than focusing on the contestants, the finale was a card packed with current UFC talent.

In an effort to ensure that this wouldn’t backfire, the promotion made sure that the guys filling in for whoever was actually on this season of The Ultimate Fighter were guys you’ve heard of. One great fight led to another great fight, and pretty soon we were anticipating one of the best free shows we’ve been given in a while. As we wrote yesterday, on paper, this card wasn’t so much a TUF Finale as it was a genuinely stacked lineup of free fights that included one main card match between two guys you’ve never seen before.

Even though injuries scrapped the fight between this season’s coaches (as is tradition), and Jamie Varner was forced off of the card at the last minute (more on that later), this event exceeded all of our expectations. Actually, that puts things too mildly: this may have been, top to bottom, the best event of 2012. Let that sink in: A TUF Finale produced a legitimate candidate for Event of the Year – when was the last time we’ve been able to say THAT?

(Mitrione refused to undergo VADA drug-testing. Nelson refused to shampoo the crabs out of his beard. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched a single episode of The Ultimate Fighter this season. (Spoiler alert: You haven’t). Tonight’s TUF 16 Finale on FX is still one of the greatest free cards of the year, partly because there aren’t any TUF also-rans mucking it up.

Instead, we’ve got two heavyweight slugfests (Roy Nelson vs. injury fill-in Matt Mitrione and Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario), a lightweight battle that will likely end up in a brutal stoppage (Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner), a pair of featherweight contenders trying to bounce back from submission losses (Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins), and a TUF 16 welterweight final featuring a man so dehumanized by his time in captivity that at this point he’s nothing more than a vessel for unspeakable acts of violence.

Taking us through the play-by-play this evening is Level 8 Liveblog Wizard Anthony Gannon, who will be updating us with main card results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please, please, please, leave us some comments in the comments section.

You know, I won’t bother asking here. Props: Cagewall.com

You probably noticed this, but we usually lead off weekend coverage with event aftermath articles – especially the day after a UFC event. Today, not only did we lead off with a story about Cro Cop playing basketball, but honestly, we considered not writing an aftermath at all for this card. With nothing significant on the line, a total lack of Bruce Buffer and no especially memorable finishes, it’s hard to really say too much about last night’s UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson.

In the main event, Ross Pearson looked good in his return to lightweight. His boxing proved to be too much for Sotiropoulos throughout the fight, as Pearson eventually scored the TKO in round three. Not a bad fight by any means, but not especially memorable, either. Sotiropoulos has now lost three straight, with his last victory being a submission over Joe Lauzon back in 2010. And Pearson? Well, he won. I was going to write that he reestablished his place in the lightweight division, but he was never more than a mid-tier fighter in arguably the UFC’s deepest talent pool in the first place.

This concern over the lack of significance in the division leads directly into the TUF Smashes finals. I’m not saying that the Smashes winners Norman Parke and Robert Whittaker looked bad last night, as they didn’t. Nor will I say that their fights were boring to sit through – I actually think Whittaker vs. Scott deserved Fight of the Night honors. Rather, I simply don’t see either fighter having any sort of relevant future in the UFC.

The Peruvian Savage last fought at UFC 79 in 2007. Props to MMA-Latino for the image.

While there’s a chance that some of you reading this may not know who Tony DeSouza is, it’s hard not to respect him for what he has done for our sport. The thirty-eight year old Cholitzu practitioner (that’s Cholo Jiu-Jitsu, n00b) complied a 3-3 record in the UFC and a 10-4 record overall until his retirement in 2007. He was the wrestling coach of Team Penn throughout The Ultimate Fighter 5, and the inventor of the Peruvian Necktie.

Oh, and he also stepped up on short notice Thursday night to fill in for one of his injured students, and despite not fighting in five years, submitted Bolivian Luis Fernando in the first round.

As MMA-Latino explained to us in an email, Tony’s student was originally set to fight Luis Fernando on Thursday night. However, a freak accident at their hotel room saw the window fall out and cut his student’s hand and arm, forcing his student to withdraw from the fight [Author Note: "Freak accident" is really putting it mildly here, I imagine]. DeSouza stepped up to take the fight, and despite a respectable effort from Fernando, “The Peruvian Savage” secured a fight-ending choke in just over one minute. Video awaits after the jump.

This season, Bellator’s heavyweight tournament ended in the same place where it began – The Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana – but with far less fireworks than anticipated.

With Bellator fixture Richard Hale facing off against Alexander Volkov, a twenty-four year old Russian prospect who used to train with Fedor Emelianenko, fans anticipated a wild brawl would ensue for the heavyweight championship Cole Konrad vacated through his retirement. Hale would bring the fight to Volkov early, dropping the Russian with a right hook in the first round. However, that hook would end up being the only significant strike that Hale would land for the rest of the fight.

For the rest of the bout, the 6’7” Volkov was content to jab his way to a unanimous decision victory. It certainly wasn’t pretty, as the boos from those in attendance demonstrated, but it was enough for Volkov to take home $100,000 and the promotion’s heavyweight championship.