(“OK, Josh, now act like this Nandor fellow was somehow able to land a punch on you. We’ll use it for the gag reel.”)

The Oklahoma Athletic Commission recently released the payout figures for Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine, and wouldn’t you know it, Heavyweight Grand Prix runner-up Josh Barnett was able to walk away with nearly a quarter of the total disclosed $1,153,500 payroll for less than three minutes of work. Also of note, Tarec Saffiedine collected approximately $2.50 for each kick he was able to land on Nate Marquardt, yet still wound up a grand shy of, you guessed it, Frank Stallone Nate Marquardt when all was said and done. Speaking of Marquardt, dude somehow didn’t even get a precautionary suspension despite exiting the arena on crutches with a leg that looked like it had stared at the Ark of the Covenant. We were able to secure an exclusive interview with his doctor earlier today, who smugly stated that “Leg kicks certainly do not end lives” before throwing a smoke bomb and disappearing from the room. A strange man indeed.

Anyway, check out the full list of salaries along with our thoughts after the jump. Per usual, these figures are absent of any locker room bonuses, sponsorship bonuses, or invitations to Scott Coker’s BBQ bash this weekend that any of the fighters may have received.

Tarec Saffiedine: $39,000 ($19,500 win bonus)
def. Nate Marquardt: $40,000

Daniel Cormier: $120,000 ($60,000 win bonus)
def. Dion Staring: $8,000

(Photo via Esther Lin for Strikeforce)

Update: The booking has been confirmed.

According to a new report from MMAFighting that cites “sources with knowledge of the situation,” reigning UFC lightweight champion Benson Henderson will attempt to make his third title-defense against longtime Strikeforce champ Gilbert Melendez at UFC on FOX 7, which is slated to go down April 20th at the HP Pavilion in San Jose.

Henderson is coming off arguably the most impressive win of his career, dominating Gilbert’s homey Nate Diaz for five rounds in their meeting last month at UFC on FOX 5. It was the sixth-consecutive win for “Smooth” since he migrated to the UFC from the WEC, though Henderson has yet to score a stoppage victory in the Octagon. That’s not likely to change against Melendez, who has never been knocked out or submitted in 23 professional fights.

Melendez picked up his seventh-straight win in May 2012, winning a split-decision in a rubber match against Josh Thompson. Since then, the Cesar Gracie product has been sidelined by injury after injury. And though we were skeptical of Melendez’s latest withdrawal — the Cesar Gracie fighter had much more to lose from a fight against Pat Healy at Strikeforce’s final event than he stood to gain, and may have acted accordingly — it’s clear that his devious plan worked.

But before you go booking your travel plans, MMAFighting adds this caveat:

Fun Fact: According to our Strikeforce underdog poll, a staggering majority of you Taters thought Ed Herman stood the best chance of pulling off an upset over Ronaldo Souza. In a distant second was that of the now retired Mike Kyle, and in an even more distant third was a tie between “Mike Goldberg over his drug addiction” and “Barnett’s ability to piss clean.” In short, the results were hurtful, hilarious, and wildly incorrect, which is exactly the kind of rapport we’ve been trying to establish around here for the past five years. So take in this kudos, Potato Nation, because like a rich, neglectful father in a children’s holiday movie, it will be a long time before we willingly give you another compliment.

But on the off chance you didn’t vote in our poll or even tune in for Strikeforce’s final event (Full disclosure: I am catching up on the fights as I write this. KJ Noons should be on his way to a clear cut UD victory, right?), we’ve placed a full video recap of the main card above. So sit back and let Pat Militech’s soothing baritone take you back to a night of squash matches topped off by Tarec Saffiedine’s destruction of Nate Marquardt’s leg, which apparently next to none of you saw coming.

-J. Jones

(Photo via sports.sho.com)

Following his first-round submission loss to Gegard Mousasi at Saturday’s Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine event, Mike Kyle reportedly told Ariel Helwani that he was throwing in the towel on his MMA career: “It’s not in me anymore. That was my last one,” Kyle said. Assuming that the 32-year-old AKA product keeps his word, Kyle’s overall record ends at 19-9-1 with 2 no-contests, competing as a heavyweight and light-heavyweight over the last 12 years.

How you react to this news will probably depend on how long you’ve been following the sport. If you’re a relatively new fan, you probably think of Kyle — if you think of him at all — as one of Strikeforce’s dependable space-fillers, who was always there when a guy like Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva or Fabricio Werdum needed an opponent. Kyle’s single greatest accomplishment over the last three years was his upset knockout of Rafael “Feijao” Cavlacante in June 2009; their rematch last year ended in a 33-second submission loss for Kyle, but the result was overturned due to the Brazilian slugger failing a drug test.

But if you’ve been an MMA fan for a long time, you might still think of Mike Kyle as a scumbag, a shameful black mark on an already nasty business. Here’s how we summarized Kyle’s greatest hits in our “10 Most Despicable People in MMA” list from April 2008, where we stuck Kyle at #3, between Nazi fighter Melvin Costa (#4) and UFC president Dana White (#2):

Bit Wes Sims‘s chest during their fight at UFC 47. Repeatedly kneed Justin Eilers in the balls during their fight at UFC 49. Poked Tsuyoshi Kosaka in the eye during a Pancrase match in October 2005. Poked Krzysztof Soszynski in the eye during a Strikeforce match in March 2006. Two months later, he illegally soccer kicked Brian Olsen during a WEC match, knocking him out, then punched him several times while he was unconscious, despite the ref’s efforts to pull Kyle off…

(Photo via dc_mma)

Besides his uncanny ability to ingratiate himself into the lives of elite MMA fighters, I’ll give Steven Seagal credit for something else — the guy knows how to pick winners. During an appearance at this weekend’s Fighters Only World MMA Awards in Las Vegas, the action star set his sights on his next pet project, telling MMAWeekly:

“If I had to choose anybody today [as 'Fighter of the Year'] I would probably pick Daniel Cormier because I think he is the best out of that lot…He’s the guy and I’m maybe going to be working with him a little bit, we’ll see. I think that he’s not the kind of person that everybody knows about, yet he’s sort of a sleeper, you know? I think that’s going to be really interesting. I’m not going to say any more than that. I’ll just say he’s a friend of mine, that’s all.”

The photo you see above was tweeted out by Cormier yesterday, accompanied by the caption “With sensei seagal ufc 148.” So why would Cormier release a random six-month-old photo of himself and Seagal, the day after his victory at Strikeforce’s final event? And why would he call Seagal “sensei”? No. Oh God, no. This isn’t happening.

I’ll be completely honest: I didn’t watch Strikeforce’s farewell card live last night. I recorded it, and watched it when I was done watching football. Am I just that dedicated of a 49ers/Packers fan? Not quite; last night was the first time I watched either team play all season. Rather, my mentality was that I haven’t been changing my schedule to accommodate Strikeforce events for the past two years now [Author Note: Damn, was the buyout really two years ago already? Time flies when you're watching something die.], so why start now for the promotion’s grand finale.

Reading through the collection of Strikeforce tributes online, it’s obvious that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Articles and tweets about the demise of Strikeforce have been respectful, but not overly-sentimental, and the comments sections of various liveblogs covering the event didn’t exactly blow up for the occasion. There were none of the regrets, what-nows and what-could-have-beens that usually come along with failed business ventures – just a few awkward goodbyes as Zuffa prepared to pull the plug on the machine that no longer served any purpose.

And honestly, why would anyone other than Strikeforce’s employees, fighters and Scott Coker feel any differently? The death of Strikeforce doesn’t mark the end of a promotion that has been pumping out relevant fights for the past two years. It isn’t the death of an alternative option for fighters not wanting to sign with Zuffa. It isn’t the even the end of free MMA on basic cable.

I guess it would be different if this card was stacked with the fighters who made Strikeforce Strikeforce, such as Cung Le, Nick Diaz, Alistair Overeem, Ronda Rousey, Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold, but they’ve either been assimilated into the UFC by now or they’ve pulled out of the event due to injury/apathy. Instead, this card served as one final night of squash fights – one of which actually ended differently than you may have expected.

(This guy, on roids? I’m sorry, but I’m going to need a little more evidence before I render my verdict.)

I’m confused, Potato Nation. You see, this morning I typed in “side effects of steroids” into Google, and took a look at roughly the first ten results. All of the common side effects were listed: Acne, man boobs, shrunken testicles, you know, the good stuff. Most of the websites even covered the long term effects: the aggression, the sterility, yadda yadda yadda. But not a one of those websites listed memory loss as a side effect, yet not a one of the MMA fighters who have been busted for the stuff in recent years seem to remember doing it.

Take Rousimar Palhares and Joey Beltran, for instance, who tested positive for elevated testosterone and Nandrolone, respectively, following their fights at UFC on FX 6 in Australia. Beltran immediately tweeted that a classic case of “tainted supplements” was responsible for his positive test, and it appears that Palhares — who released an official statement to MMAJunkie Friday — is going with a similar defense:

I’ve always been extremely regimented with my diet and would not use anything that could harm my body or my performance inside the octagon. And it wasn’t different this time. I never had the intention to cheat. I’ve got almost 30 fights in my career, most of them in the UFC. I have been subjected to several surprise tests, and there was never anything wrong. Besides, I knew that I would be tested after the fight in Australia because it is standard in the UFC. I have a clear conscience, but accepted the punishment. The rules are there for everyone and must be followed.

I consulted with my doctor, and he will go over all food supplements used in my preparation for the fight and the test results. I want to know exactly what happened that made the testosterone rate unusual in my body. 

(Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.)

First and foremost, we have to thank CP reader Walter Cardenas, who passed along the news (or lack thereof) regarding the much anticipated Spike TV/K-1 deal that was set to kick off in late 2012. And unfortunately, those of you who were looking forward to seeing the Japanese promotion both stateside and on a semi-major network in 2013 are in for some bad news, because according to multiple sources, the deal has already been killed. For starters, the promotion’s webpage on Spike.com is blank. And in less speculative news, Spike TV president Kevin Kay stated the following in an interview with MMAFighting:

We’re probably not going to move forward and continue with K-1. It was a little bit of an experiment. Those guys are great. We’re trying to figure out our kickboxing plans. It did okay. It was a digital play (K-1 aired on Spike.com late 2012). There are other things we can do in the kickboxing spectrum.

News of K-1′s demise (you know, their fourth or so in the past few years) started way back in July of 2012, when promotion insiders declared that the event they had targeted for the end of December at the Madison Square Garden would be “unfeasible.”

(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.

(Video via MMA Fighting)

Tonight is Strikeforce’s final event and one of its featured fighters (for all intents and purposes) heavyweight champ Daniel Cormier risks losing his momentum by fighting some dude before moving on to the UFC. To get you inside Cormier’s final days of preparation as well as his competitive mind set, we are bringing you MMA Fighting‘s great video documentary short on him.

In the doc (above), Cormier gets philosophical on topics ranging from success to deodorant and shares the story of his first day at the AKA gym. Teaser – He was fat as hell. Its also interesting to get a glimpse at just how much he admires and respects his friend and training partner, UFC Heavyweight Champion Cain Velasquez.

As a bonus, below is Cormier’s final collegiate wrestling match. It was against Cael Sanderson in the finals of the 2001 NCAA Championships. Cormier would lose but Sanderson was far from a nobody. In fact, Sanderson would go on to become perhaps the most accomplished college wrestler in history, earning four national titles and setting the record for most consecutive wins with 158-0. That match, from FloWrestling, after the jump.

(My God, Daniel Cormier is going to WRECK this dude.) 

Tomorrow night, the once great promotion known as Strikeforce will fade into obscurity, joining the ranks of such infinitely-inferior-yet-similarly-dissolved promotions as Affliction, EliteXC, and the oft forgotten Tank Abbott’s Backyard Brawlin’ Beergut Buddies.

So with their future careers on the line, make sure to swing by CagePotato at 5 p.m. EST to catch weigh-ins for all of the fighters participating at tomorrow’s Strikeforce: Pros vs. Joes event. Who knows? Maybe some of the randoms plucked from MMA obscurity will be too scared to show up, or piss themselves when they realize the huge mistake they’ve made. In either case, it should be fun.

(Superman: Quite an upgrade from Kit Cope. / Photo courtesy of Wenn via EntertainmentWise. Lots more photos of the new Hollywood power couple are after the jump.)

Disclaimer: Posting stuff like this makes us feel about as dirty as posting that other thing, but in a completely different way. Yes, this is gossipy tabloid bullshit not worthy of the ePaper it’s ePrinted on — but you can’t look me in the eye and say you’re no longer interested in Gina Carano, her rumored love life, or how she looks when she’s dolled up for a night on the town. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. Search your heart. You know it to be true. Here’s UsMagazine with the story:

Gina Carano had a hunk on her arm at the 18th Annual Critics’ Choice Movie Awards in Santa Monica, Calif., Jan. 10. The 30-year-old actress, who was nominated for Best Actress in an Action Movie for Hawyire, walked down the red carpet with Man of Steel’s leading man, Henry Cavill, 29. Carano (in Roland Mouret) and Cavill (in Tom Ford) stayed by each other’s side throughout the evening.

According to Just Jared, the two have been spotted together multiple times within the past few months. E! News reports the former MMA fighter and the Immortals actor began dating in September 2012…Carano is rumored to be making a surprise appearance as Wonder Woman in Cavill’s new film, Man of Steel. The movie hits theaters on June 14, 2013.

As we previously reported, Gina Carano will also be appearing in the upcoming Fast & Furious 6, and might be in that Lady Expendables thing.

Ugh. We here at CagePotato have been debating for days now whether or not we should cover the recent, horrific story involving two Lloyd Irvin Martial Arts School students, which has in turn brought to light the former and similarly shocking allegations aimed at Irvin himself. On one hand, we like to keep things light and humorous around here, and would prefer to wait until all of the evidence has surfaced. On the other hand, sweeping a story as heinous as this under the rug would be a cop out even by our standards. At the end of the day, we are supposed to report on all things MMA, no matter how positive or negative a light they shine on the sport, so here we go.

You might have heard that recently, two well known students of the Lloyd Irvin Martial Arts School – Matthew Maldonado and Nicholas Schultz — were accused of raping a female student of the gym on New Year’s Eve. Apparently, Shultz and Maldonado ran into the victim at a club in Washington D.C. and offered to drive her home, as she was too drunk to drive. What follows are the sickening details regarding what actually happened:

But the men took her to the St. Matthew’s Center parking garage instead, police explained, where surveillance cameras captured Maldanado raping the woman and Shultz joining.

After Maldanado left, police said, the tape shows Schultz raping her repeatedly. She told police he said at one point, “I am sorry. I am a sick bastard.”

Detectives said the woman claimed she had been raped, but it wasn’t until they saw the tape, that the extent of the allegations emerged.

They wrote of the alleged attack “She fell backwards…striking her head against the wall…later struck her head again…and noted she collapsed to the ground…several times…he head again hitting the ground.”

And if that bit of info didn’t have you closing your eyes, covering your ears, and screaming “NO! NO! NO!” while rocking back in forth in the nearest corner, just wait until you see the story these allegations have unearthed involving Lloyd Irvin himself.

(“Seems like oooooold times…” / Photo via allelbows)

- The Rise and Fall of the Pepsi to UFC’s Coke: A Strikeforce Oral History (BleacherReport)

- Chael Sonnen vs. Jon Jones Official For UFC 159 in New Jersey (FightDay)

- Gegard Mousasi and the Frustration of ‘Overrated’ (MMAFighting)

- King Mo Lawal Has Boxing Clause in His Contract, Would Like a Fight With Kimbo Slice (BloodyElbow)

- Cub Swanson Says Fight With Dennis Siver Is #1 Featherweight Contender Match (Fightline)

- The 50 Dirtiest Athletes in Sports History (Complex)

- Review: Brian J. D’Souza’s “Pound for Pound” MMA book Is Top-Class Reading (FightOpinion)

- Photo of the day: Ed O’Neill chokes out Royce Gracie on the set of ‘Modern Family’ (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Steven Seagal Owns a Bullet-Proof Kimono. This Is Not a Joke. (FilmDrunk)

- If You’ve Never Seen American Psycho, This Rory MacDonald Comic Will Not Make Sense (MiddleEasy)

- 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Laid (MensFitness)

- Honest Trailers: Inception (ScreenJunkies)

- 17 Gifts for People You Hate (EgoTV)

- A Gallery of White People Acting Extremely White (WorldWideInterweb)

(Do women in the UFC represent a new path to the future, or business as usual? Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

By Brian J. D’Souza

There have been many landmark events in MMA history — the inception of the UFC in 1993, the debut of The Ultimate Fighter in 2005, the fall of PRIDE in 2007, and the acquisition of Strikeforce in 2011. As 2013 gets underway, it’s already becoming apparent that the sport is undergoing a series of events that will change it forever.

THE DISSOLUTION OF STRIKEFORCE

On March 12, 2011, Zuffa acquired Strikeforce. Although the San Jose-based promotion was subsequently stripped of many of its best fighters, television network Showtime opted to renew their broadcast deal with the promotion — until now. The January 13, 2013 show headlined by Nate Marquardt vs. Tarec Saffiedine will be the promotion’s death knell, as the name “Strikeforce” takes its final resting place in the cemetery next to Affliction, WEC, PRIDE, Elite XC, BodogFight, and the IFL.

There were obvious benefits in Zuffa stringing Showtime along as a broadcast partner of the increasingly-diluted Strikeforce brand: It kept Showtime from seeking a new promoter, independent of Zuffa, to partner with. Currently, promotions like Shark Fights, Legacy Fighting Championship, Invicta FC, and Xtreme Fighting Championships are in the running as potential broadcast partners for Showtime. For the winning promotion(s), mainstream television exposure on CBS might also be possible, just as CBS aired Strikeforce events in the past.

However, no matter which promotion Showtime airs, the most significant component of the deal comes down to what brand-name fighters can be acquired to get better ratings and more subscribers for Showtime.

THE RISE OF BELLATOR

(You know what, bro, put down that birthday cake. You don’t deserve it anymore.)

MMA’s drug-failure tally has gotten off to a fast start in 2013, with two notable fighters already netted by the UFC’s independent testing. Here’s the promotion’s official statement via UFC.com:

“Rousimar Palhares tested positive for elevated testosterone and Joey Beltran tested positive for nandrolone, following their respective bouts at UFC on FX 6 in Australia. The UFC organization has a strict, consistent policy against the use of any illegal and/or performance-enhancing drugs, stimulants or masking agents. Both athletes have agreed to serve a nine-month suspension retroactive to December 14. They must pass a drug test upon completion of the suspension before receiving clearance to compete again.”

Palhares was knocked out by Hector Lombard on the “Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson” main card, marking Toquinho’s second-straight KO loss. Between his losing skid and the fact that this isn’t even his first suspension while under contract with the UFC, Palhares is on very thin ice. As for Beltran, the light-heavyweight slugger defeated Igor Pokrajac by decision during the UFC on FX 6 prelims. That win will likely be changed to a no-contest.

Update: Joey Beltran denies taking any illegal substances, and is laying the groundwork for a tainted supplements defense. His statement (via twitter) is after the jump…

(What makes Nandor so angry, you ask? Dirt. He *hates* dirt.) 

Thanks to a terrible yet completely expected slew of injuries, Strikeforce’s going away event has disintegrated from a once competitive night of title fights to a freakshow event on par with an end of the year JMMA card. Former top-contenders Josh Barnett and Pat Healy have been thrown opponents that redefine the phrase “high risk, low reward” and newly-crowned heavyweight champ Daniel Cormier has been booked against some dude with a chance of victory so slim that even he is pissed off by how little of a chance said dude has been given. It’s gotten so bad that the UFC has been forced to loan their middle-of-the-pack middleweights out to the very organization they have been purging, seemingly out of some twisted sense of empathy.

But if Jorge Gurgel’s assertion that the fighters who lose on Saturday will not be headed to the UFC is in fact true, one thing we will surely not witness this weekend is caution. So with that in mind, we threw together a little poll: Which (massive) underdog could most likely score an upset at ‘Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine?’ All the usual suspects are included in the survey that awaits you after the jump, so join us in a little harmless speculation, won’t you?

(Photo via esporte.uol.com.br)

After burying most of the UFC middleweight division in his last Yahoo! Sports column — including that poor, poor Chris Weidman, who has done nothing to deserve such rough treatment — angry MMA blogger Michael Bisping returned last night with his latest missive, which attacks pretty much every aspect of Vitor Belfort‘s character, from the Brazilian’s physical appearance, to his controversial history of rabbit-punching, to his Rex Ryan-esque affection for his wife’s feet. (Meanwhile, Belfort claims that talking trash is dangerous because it can infect the person doing the talking as much as it can hurt the target. Pffft, whatever!)

Here are some choice highlights from the Count’s latest blog, in order of brutality…

On embarrassing fetishes:
“A fan tweeted me a link to Vitor in some Brazilian reality TV show, a clip where he’s in a bath kissing someone’s feet. [Ed. note: In case you've somehow never seen this clip before, those feet belonged to Vitor's wife, Joana Prado.] It was pretty fruity stuff but, if he enjoyed sucking toes, he’s going to have the time of his life on January 19 because I’m going to kick him in the face all night long.” [Ed. note: You son of a bitch.]

On TRT and illegal punches:
“I’m thinking of asking Randy Couture if I can use him old nickname ‘the Natural’ just to make it clear I’m not one of these guys who is on TRT or any of that junk. Whenever someone asks me if I am on it, I give them a straight answer and if they ask me what I think of TRT I always say: ‘I think it is legalized cheating’…I don’t think it has a place in our sport and wish my opinion — and I think the majority of fans’ opinion — was shared by certain other fighters and the people who regulate our sport.

I was disappointed Vitor Belfort started talking in tongues when asked about TRT recently. He had a little more to say on Monday when he was asked directly about my concerns that all his recent UFC fights were won by illegal punches to the back of the head. In between lengthy references to the New Testament, Belfort basically said he doesn’t care if he hits opponents behind the head…

(Click the image for a full size version.)

Our buddies over at Fightnomics continue to crank out the finest in UFC-related empirical data. They’ve given us a breakdown of everything from how fights end by division to submission success rates by technique, and now they’ve released a statistical compilation of every single significant strike thrown in UFC history. And in even better news, it appears that the average pace at which significant strikes are thrown has nearly tripled since the promotion’s inception, even with Jon Fitch’s seventeen fights taken into account:

Since 2007, UFC fighters average 6.8 significant strikes per minute (SSpM) of fight time. Again, this is not just while standing, but also from dominant clinch and ground positions.  Significant strikes do damage, score knockdowns, set up submissions, or cause referees to jump in for the save.  Significant strikes generally define the action in a fight, and as the analysis shows, fighter output by this metric has changed drastically since the early years of the UFC.

Through the 1990’s, UFC fighters attempted an average of only 2.8 significant strikes per minute.  Averages for UFC fighters then more than doubled to 6.9 SSpM after the sport matured under Fertitta’s Zuffa umbrella.  Modern UFC fighters also score more knockdowns and throw a slightly higher percentage of power strikes than the old guard, further suggesting greater endurance. In terms of accuracy, about 42% of these significant strikes land on target.

My main question, of course, is whether or not those girly leg kicks Carlos Condit used to outpoint Nick Diaz at UFC 143 were factored into these figures. If so, this graph is therefore invalidated by the gold standard for significant strike measurement: The Unified Rules of Stockton. Obvious trolling attempts aside, this data should at least hinder the notion that lay-n-pray is the fastest rising trend in MMA, despite that scared bitch Georges St. Pierre’s endless attempts to prove otherwise.

After the jump: Fightnomics breaks down the most active and least active strikers in the UFC. And somehow, Jon Fitch is nowhere to be found.

(Props: TheBestMMAHouse. Take a look before this bad boy gets pulled.)

Why not blow the first 15 minutes of your workday watching dozens of the best UFC knockouts that last year had to offer? Obviously Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim gets a place of honor at the end of this highlight reel, but if I had to pick another favorite moment, it has to be the way that George Roop‘s mouthpiece explodes out of his face at the 12:01 mark, courtesy of a Cub Swanson right hand.

It’s also nice to revisit the pure frenzy of Anthony Pettis‘s finish of Joe Lauzon (6:30), Rich Franklin going all sack-of-potatoes against Cung Le (8:24), and that intense moment after Pat Barry gets pulled off of Christian Morecraft where it seems like ‘HD’ might just jump back on and keep pounding the poor bastard (10:56). For all of its disappointments, 2012 was a damn good year for dudes getting their lights turned out.

(It took forty minutes and 13 Vodka cranberries before War Machine realized that this wasn’t the Jenna Jameson cutout he had ordered.) 

Although Bellator’s current bidding war with Eddie Alvarez has snagged all of the headlines, the promotion actually does have a card worth discussing at the end of the month in Bellator 86. Including King Mo’s promotional debut and a headlining welterweight title fight between Ben Askren and…WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AWAY FROM ME. Askren will be fighting Karl Amoussou, who stands a better chance at ending the most uneventful title reign in MMA history than most of Askren’s challengers so far. I’M SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS.

In news you might define as “exciting,” elsewhere on the card will be the first round of action in Bellator’s next welterweight tournament, which features such former tournament participants as Ben Saunders, Douglas Lima, and Raul Amaya taking on Koffi Adzisto, Michail Tsarev, and Jose Reyes respectively. Also booked for the tourney is cursed in America fighter and recipient of truly the worst beating of 2012, Marius Zaromskis, who will be squaring off against Brent Weedman. Nearly half of these participants have faced one another before (Saunders has fought Amaya and Lima, who has fought Weedman) and six of the eight men have been knocked out of a Bellator welterweight tournament before. I’m not sure what to do with that information, but there it is.

As we know, both War Machine and Paul Daley were pulled from the tourney following a knee injury and a pub brawl, respectively. And in the twisted nightmare this universe has truly become, War Machine was not responsible for the latter. Bellator 86 goes down from the Winstar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma on January 23rd.

And in UFC fight booking news…

(In the words of my life coach, “If you ask me one more fucking question about that fucking joke Eddie Alvarez, I will fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before.”) 

The drama continues to unfold in the Eddie Alvarez/UFC/Bellator love triangle that last saw Bjorn Rebney and Co. break go Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer on their former lightweight champion’s ass. And as Bill Shakespeare would tell you himself, no love triangle would be complete without a little dash of comedy. Enter Rebney, who recently attempted to shed some light on the convoluted goatscrew that (Bellator) negotiations oft become in a recent interview with BloodyElbow radio. When Rebney previously told reporters that he had matched the UFC’s offer on Alvarez “word for word,” the general consensus seemed to be that Rebney was simply speaking in hyperbole, for how could Bellator match the pay-per-view stipulations of the UFC’s contract when they don’t in fact broadcast pay-per-view events to begin with?

Well, it turns out that — at least according to the man himself — Rebney was not tugging our respective dicks when he said “word for word”:

I didn’t anticipate that the UFC would come in where they came in. They came in at a dollar figure in terms of the $250,000 signing bonus and the $70,000 plus $70,000 and some of the terms that we felt very comfortable matching. To avoid any questioning, to avoid any conflict, we literally took the UFC contract, took it out of a PDF format and we changed the UFC name to Bellator and we signed it and we sent it back to Ed. 

Call me unrealistic, but I’d like to believe that Rebney signed his name in poo, or at least wiped his ass with the reprinted contract before sending it back to Eddie. And then when Alvarez flipped to the last page of this foul smelling document, there was a photo of Rebney, performing said act of asswhipery. Because those are the kinds of shenanigans that people who don’t give a fuck are wont to do.

Much more from this interview after the jump.

(“Yeah, well you tested positive for gingervitis, so suck it.” Props: Tracy Lee/Cagewriter)

When Jake Shields tested positive for having a banned substance in his system during his UFC 150 fight against Ed Herman last August, we assumed that the no-no substance was of the weed variety. Given some of his training partners and friends, it made perfect sense.

Here’s the thing: The sanctioning body of that fight, the Colorado Boxing Commission, never specified which banned substance Shields tested positive for. But Herman, who Shields beat by decision before the fight was changed to a No Contest, isn’t buying the marijuana story.

“I think Colorado is one of the HIPAA privacy states where they weren’t allowed to release what he tested positive for. I’m pretty sure it was for some type of performance enhancing substance, just by looking at his physique going in to the fight,” Herman told Bloody Elbow recently.

A lil Mary Jane to relax before fighting another trained professional is one thing, according to Herman, because, you know, all the cool kids do it. But “Short Fuse” is coming right out and accusing Shields of being more ‘roid monkey than stoner kid in an apparent effort to discredit him.

“He looked pretty puffed up and exhibited the common signs. As an athlete, you can recognize those signs. I can’t guarantee it, but I’m pretty positive that it was for some kind of performance enhancing drug. If it really was for marijuana, it’s a lot easier for a guy to come right out and say, ‘I smoked a joint, sorry,’” Herman continued to narc.

(Meanwhile in the Kingdom of Heaven, God continued to watch NASCAR. Photo courtesy of The Canadian Press/Nathan Denette)

Four months after his ill-fated light-heavyweight title bid against Jon Jones, Vitor Belfort will be returning to the UFC middleweight division on January 19th to face Michael Bisping in the main event of UFC on FX 7. Though he’s well into his 16th year of professional MMA competition, Belfort insists that he’s never felt so good in his entire life. Obviously, that particular fighter-cliche has become so overused that it’s virtually meaningless. But if the Phenom is telling the truth, maybe there’s a reason for it. And so, ESPN’s Brett Okamoto pointed out the elephant in the room during an interview published yesterday. Hilarity ensued:

ESPN: Some fighters in their 30s have been diagnosed with low testosterone levels and received exemptions to use testosterone replacement therapy [TRT]. Have you ever applied for TRT or would you consider it?

Belfort: If a question is private, I have the choice to answer or not. If I make it public, it’s not private anymore. If I want to say something private I will say it, but I keep to myself and I respect the laws of the sport. Whatever the organization, whatever the law — they know what to do. This is too controversial, why am I going to say something that doesn’t accomplish anything? If it’s legal, they know what to do. If it’s legal, there’s nothing to say about it. It’s legal.

(Cormier, seen here after placing his life savings on Staring while wearing his lucky spandex.) 

Well, it’s official, Strikeforce is planning to go out with a bang, and by “a bang” we mean “a public execution.” From the very first moment they announced that newly appointed heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier would be facing complete unknown Dion Staring in a non-title affair, we knew that the odds would be astronomically in Cormier’s favor, but -2000?!! MMAFighting’s Shaun Al-Shatti first broke the news via his Twitter:

Wow. Daniel Cormier opens as a -2000, I repeat, -2000 favorite over Dion Staring. Not quite the same as Frank Mir, is it?

This begs one to ask: Is Staring coming into this fight following a recent amputation? He’s a no-namer, sure, but the man also sports a 28-7 record compared to Cormier’s 10-0. Sure, Cormier’s fought a far higher level of opponents in those 10 fights, but at these odds, Staring has a better chance of knocking himself unconscious in the sauna than he does of beating Cormier. Hell, I have a better chance of knocking out Cormier in the sauna then this poor bastard does.

For a little perspective, consider this: Anderson Silva — that would be ten time defending UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva – was favored at around -1350 over Stephan Bonnar. The highest discrepancy in Strikeforce history came when Cris Cyborg fought Jan Finney at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, which also topped out around -2000. The highest discrepancy in MMA history (to my knowledge) came when Antonio Rogerio Nogueria fought Sokoudjou at Pride 33 (-2500) — a fight the former ended up losing, by the way.

(Basically, TUF 17 is ‘Eyes Wide Shut,’ with Chael Sonnen playing the Tom Cruise role.)

USA Today/MMAJunkie has released the 28-member cast list for The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen (aka TUF 17), which premieres Tuesday, January 22nd on FX. You can check out the full roster after the jump, but here are a few guys you may already know…

Nik Fekete (5-1, LHW): The New Jersey-bred wrestling savant had the dubious honor of becoming the second Bellator fighter to lose via flying inverted triangle choke. Fekete followed up that defeat with a TKO win over Mark Griffin at Bellator 48 in August 2011, but hasn’t competed since then.

Kevin Casey (5-2, MW): Best known as Heidi and Spencer’s BJJ coach, the rapper/grappler (“rappler”?), and Strikeforce vet has earned three of his five victories by first-round rear-naked choke, but has suffered TKO losses to Matt Lindland and Ikuhisa Minowa.

Zak Cummings (15-3, LHW, listed here as “Zach”): A Missouri-based vet who has made appearances in Strikeforce Challengers, Bellator, and MFC, Cummings kicked off his pro career with a 10-0 streak. Since then, he’s been more notable for losing to Tim Kennedy and losing to Ryan Jimmo.

Tor Troeng (15-4, MW): Remember how Dana White said there was one guy in the TUF 17 cast who “scared the living shit out of everyone” and put all his opponents in the hospital? Well, there are unsubstantiated rumors that it might be this guy, a Swedish vet who has won four straight fights since being submitted by Thales Leites at Superior Challenge 6 in October 2010.

Robert McDaniel (20-6, MW): “Bubba” has only gone to decision once in his long career, and 75% of his wins have come by submission. McDaniel holds stoppage wins over Kala Hose, Kyacey Uscola, and Johnny Rees, and is currently on a six-fight win streak.

And now, the full roster…

Props to MMASucka for turning us on to model Felixia Yeap, a Miss Universe Malaysia finalist who was just picked up as a ring girl for ONE FC. A former kindergarten teacher and the imaginary girlfriend of cock-talking lawyers worldwide, Felixia hails from Kuala Lumpur and became Malaysia’s first Playboy Bunny when she was hired to work at the Playboy Club in Macao.

Check out lots more of our favorite Felixia Yeap photos in the gallery after the jump, and if you like what you see, follow her life on twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

(“Oh, Georges, you couldn’t pull off a mean mug if you tried. Your eyes, they just have too much…soul in them.”)

You might not know this about the CagePotato writing staff, but not a one of us is a UFC-caliber fighter. Sure, Elias lays boots to asses every now and again and Goldstein once slapped Bas Rutten in public and lived to tell the tale, but none of us here at CP have ever had a situation arise where we forced to fight one of our fellow writers for the right to be called “King of the Mountain.” So maybe we’re not the correct sources to come to when discussing whether teammates in a given MMA camp should be more open to fighting one another or not. Then again, none of us (to my knowledge) have ever been busted for steroids before, yet we’re perfectly fine casting our respective opinions toward those who have, so here we go.

This whole “Fighter X won’t fight Teammate Y” nonsense is out of control. Rory MacDonald won’t fight GSP. Cain Velasquez won’t fight Daniel Cormier. Anderson Silva won’t fight anyone who doesn’t wear a kimono and firing range goggles 24/7. It’s getting ridiculous. Simply put, if you are unable to separate your personal life from your professional one in the fight game, then you probably shouldn’t be involved in the fight game. MMA is not a team sport, especially when a title shot and thousands of dollars are on the line.

Thankfully, guys like Dan Henderson are still around — old school, take-on-all-comers-even-if-that-means-fighting-at-heavyweight type guys who would fight their bedridden aunt for the last slice of pizza if she dared call dibs on it first. Ever since Hendo blew out his knee and was passed over for the next light heavyweight title shot by Chael Sonnen, things have been rather tense over at Team Quest, to the point that Hendo recently told FightersOnly that he would no doubt fight Sonnen now that he’s a LHW:

We’re friends, but above all we fight now in the same category and therefore have the same goal. We both compete for the same belt.

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(We now return to your regularly-scheduled maulings. / Photo via MMAWeekly)

Due to the comically-elevated levels of testosterone he produced during a random drug test last March, Alistair Overeem has spent the last nine months unable to re-apply for licensure with the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Overeem’s time-out came to an end this morning, when the Dutch heavyweight appeared at a Nevada State Athletic Commission hearing to seek the re-instatement of his license, and was unanimously approved, making his scheduled UFC 156 bout against Antonio Silva official.

What’s particularly interesting is what Overeem had to accomplish to make that happen. Here’s MMAWeekly with the details:

According to Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director Keith Kizer, in the last nine-plus months, Overeem has submitted a total of five drug tests of his own accord, all of which came back negative. In addition, the commission tested Overeem randomly on Nov. 16 and Dec. 21, 2012, with those tests also returning negative results.

“I’m ready to get my life back on track,” said Overeem when speaking to the commission.

Following his failed drug test last year, Alistair Overeem denied that he used performance-enhancing drugs and claimed ignorance, blaming his high T-levels on an “anti-inflammatory medication that was mixed with testosterone,” prescribed by his doctor to treat a rib injury. Though Overeem wasn’t subject to the standard fine and suspension that he would have received from the NSAC if he pissed hot for steroids, the Reem lost out on an imminent UFC heavyweight title shot against Junior Dos Santos, and was forced to do appearances in Gainesville, Florida as penance. Jesus. Who says the UFC isn’t hard on cheaters?

(“Keep laughing, Eddie, because as soon as you lose that belt, your ass is mine.”) 

Former President Clinton once made infamous the phrase, “It depends on what your definition of the word ’is’ is,” while answering questions from the Independent Counsel’s office on the all-important subject of Monica Lewinsky. With former Bellator lightweight champion/UFC hopeful Eddie Alvarez and his boss, Bjorn Rebney, the discrepancy appears to depend on what one’s definition of the word “matched” is.

It has been no secret that the UFC wants Alvarez under their banner. The top lightweight fought the last fight under his Bellator contract last October but the promotion has the right to match any contract offered to Alvarez and thus keep him with them.

The UFC did indeed recently make an offer to Alvarez, but it is here where the stories from the former champ and the Bellator CEO begin to differ.

First, Alvarez sat down with The MMA Hour and claimed that Bellator had not matched the UFC’s proposed terms. Rebney then went on MMA Weekly Radio and said that his organization had, in fact, matched the UFC’s contract offer to Alvarez, point for point.

And then things got really awkward.