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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

February, 2013

Yeah, So Now Anderson Silva Says He’ll Fight Jon Jones in a Non-Title Catch-Weight Bout This Year


(“Then it’s settled: I’ll win the first fight, you’ll win the rematch, and Chael will win the rubber-match via surprise run-in after blinding the referee.”)

During our typical mid-afternoon routine of checking out Brazilian porn sites sport sites and using Google translate to help us out with comprehension — some Brazilian things don’t need translation, but some do — we stumbled across the latest vague and too-good-to-be-true Anderson Silva fight news. Recently, we had a tease about Silva finally fighting the rightful number one contender to his belt, and yesterday we read that, according to “The Spider,” he wants to face UFC light heavyweight champ Jon Jones this year.

SportTV says that last Wednesday Anderson told a bunch of Brazilian cats that he expects to fight Jones this year in New York City but that the bout would need to be a non-title, catch-weight affair. Apparently, fighting James Irvin, Stephan Bonnar, and former champ Forrest Griffin at light-heavyweight is one thing, but fighting the biggest and best talent we’ve ever seen in the division at 205 is another.

Given that nothing appears to be signed and that Jones has the small matter of defending his belt first against wronged pizza baron Chael Sonnen this spring, we can’t get too excited about this development. Still, Anderson’s reported comments paint him as perhaps more amenable to a fight against Jones than he has ever been before.

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And Now He’s Fired: Matt Riddle Cut From UFC After Second Positive Marijuana Test


(Matt’s actual marijuana card, via @riddletuf7)

For the second time in less than a year, UFC welterweight Matt Riddle has tested positive for marijuana in a post-fight drug test, spurring the UFC to release him from his contract. Riddle’s latest failed test followed his split-decision win over Che Mills at UFC on FUEL 7 in London on February 16th, which came just seven months after his 90-day marijuana suspension following his UFC 149 win over Chris Clements. That victory was later changed to a no-contest, and it’s likely that Riddle’s latest win will be overturned as well.

Riddle was already on thin ice with the UFC because of the quality of his recent fights. Here’s Dana White calling him out by name while discussing the UFC’s decision to cut Jon Fitch: “Riddle fights just like Fitch. Has been lately, anyway. He went from being super exciting to now he wants to grab your legs and hold you down.”

Riddle had long maintained that he doesn’t use marijuana to get high, but for therapeutic purposes. As Riddle explained on The MMA Hour last October:

“I do smoke but I’m not smoking to get stoned. I’m smoking so I can finally relax, sit back and just not worry about things. People, maybe they did it in college one way, but for a guy like me, for a professional athlete that goes through what we go through, it’s medicine for me. Maybe for some little stoner sitting on the couch playing XBox, for him, it’s a drug. For me, it’s medicine…

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Demetrious Johnson Out of John Moraga Title Defense Due to Injury; Faber vs. Jorgensen Now Headlines TUF 17 Finale


(That’s right, DJ. Pose through the pain. / Photo via Sherdog)

Due to an undisclosed injury, UFC flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson has been forced to withdraw from his upcoming title defense against John Moraga, which was scheduled to go down at the TUF 17 Finale (April 13th, Las Vegas). At this point, it’s unclear when Johnson will be back in action, or if Moraga will remain on the card.

To make up for the loss, the UFC has booked a new fight to take the main event spot — a bantamweight scrap between Urijah Faber and Scott Jorgensen. Faber is coming off an impressive first-round submission over Ivan Menjivar at UFC 157, while Jorgensen snapped a two-fight losing skid by choking out John Albert at UFC on FOX: Henderson vs. Diaz, a performance that won him both Submission of the Night and Fight of the Night bonuses. Fun fact: Urijah Faber has gone 6-0 in his last six non-title fights, and 0-5 in his last five title fights.

The TUF 17 Finale will also feature Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Travis Browne, Miesha Tate vs. Cat Zingano, and probably Uriah Hall vs. some other guy from the show.

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Knockout of the Day: Vaughn Govia Sends Miguel Saenz Into a Tailspin via One Brutal Face Kick

Major props to our buddies over at MiddleEasy for passing along today’s entry in the Uriah Hall “Did He Died?” Head Kick Hall of Fame, which comes courtesy of last Friday’s STFC: Bad Blood event. In a lightweight contest pitting Vaughn Govia (dubbed Vaughn Goby in the above video) against Miguel “Mikey” Saenz, Govia decides after a few seconds of fight time that a switch from traditional to southpaw stance is in order. Saenz takes note of this and likewise decides that the best way to counter the switch is with a lazy jab. He is mistaken.

Govia responds by firing off a head kick that sends Saenz crashing to the canvas in what we shall now refer to as King slow-Mo, and just like that, another fantastic knockout in what has been a year already chock-full of them is born. Now someone go find a spatula to peel Saenz off the canvas.

-J. Jones

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[VIDEO] Mark Hunt Brings the Pain/Emotions in New ‘UFC on FUEL 8′ Promo

We don’t know about you, but there are so many UFC events being strewn across so many different channels these days that we are starting to forget some of them even exist until about a week out. It’s not something we’re complaining about, but by a show of hands, how many of you realized that UFC on FUEL 8 is going down this weekend in Japan? Well, it is, and it features a headlining fight between Brian Stann and Wanderlei Silva that all of the world’s leading scientists have predicted will end inside of three rounds.

Scheduled just one fight before Stann vs. Silva, however, is a heavyweight contest that shines a spotlight on two of the division’s most unexpected rising stars: Mark Hunt and Stefan Struve. After suffering brutal knockout defeats at the hands of Junior Dos Santos, Roy Nelson, and Travis Browne, many MMA pundits were content to write off Struve as an upper-level gatekeeper who simply wasn’t title-contender material and probably never would be. However, following his most recent TKO victory over the then-undefeated prospect in Stipe Miocic at UFC on FUEL 5, Struve established himself as a legitimate threat in the heavyweight division, one who would make his case for a future title shot with a win this weekend.

But perhaps no fighter in the UFC possesses a greater comeback story than Hunt, who saw his career resurrected in the UFC following a six fight losing streak between 2006-2010. In the time since, Hunt has collected three straight wins in the octagon and even survived a fight with Cheick Kongo with both testicles intact. Despite his introverted nature, “The Super Samoan” has become an inspirational figure if there ever was one, and that inspiration takes center stage in the latest UFC on FUEL 8 promo.

We’ve placed the video above, so check it out and let us know if Hunt’s inspirational story will somehow help him overcome the 12.5 inch reach disadvantage he will be facing against the 6’11″ Struve this weekend. My guess is it won’t, but where inspiration oft fails, an atomic butt drop usually succeeds.

-J. Jones

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So *Now* What Do You Think About Ronda Rousey? [SQUABBLER]


(Ronda Rousey wallpaper via MMAFanMade. Click image for full-size version, and please disregard the blatant spelling error.)

Depending on your perspective, Ronda Rousey‘s UFC debut last weekend either demonstrated that she’s indeed worthy of the name “champion,” or proved once again that she’s a one-trick pony. So I ask you: If you were skeptical of the Rousey hype before her armbar win over Liz Carmouche, did the fight change your opinion of her? And if you believed in the power of Rowdy before, did she move up another level in your pantheon of MMA worship? Is the UFC women’s bantamweight division already more interesting than men’s flyweight?

Once again, our pals at Squabbler have set up a widget (see below) for you to record your 15-second arguments in video form. Click on my face to hear my quick take, and if you disagree, you can record a response by clicking the orange “Let’s Squabble” button. Once we get a few solid entries in the mix, you’ll be able to vote on the best one, which will score a CagePotato t-shirt next week. Any questions, let us know. And follow @Squabbler on twitter to stay up-to-date on more arguments around the Internet.

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‘UFC 157′ Ratings Update: Rousey and Carmouche Prove That Girls Can In Fact Run This Motha


(And the song Ronda chose to accompany this momentous occasion with? Oh, you best believe it was some Geto Boys. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

Of all the controversy that was brought to light in the weeks following the announcement of UFC 157 (WOMEN HEADLINERS?!, Dan Henderson playing second fiddle to WOMEN HEADLINERS?!, etc.), one issue that seemed to cling around more than most was that of pay-per-view buys. Specifically, how the UFC honestly expected a card featuring WOMEN HEADLINERS to draw diddly squat for viewers in the male-dominated sport of MMA. Because if we wanted to see two broads fight over a leather and gold belt, we’d go to Macy’s on Black Friday, amiright?

Well, we hate to spoil the misogynist fantasy, but it looks like WMMA (or at least Ronda Rousey) could turn out to be a huge draw for the UFC. The Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer spoke earlier today about the preliminary PPV estimates for UFC 157 and suffice it to say, they are a lot better than many of us would have predicted:

Over 400,000….they’re absolutely thrilled. The show, it was…they had predicted 250. Budgeted 250, I shouldn’t say predicted. But I mean, the predictions internally were 250-300. So they blew away their predictions, big time…They’re expecting big replay buys. Big replay buys means 25,000-30,000 more than they have right now. It could do mid fours, maybe more, but that’s a nice number to say.

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Poster of the Day: Tank Abbott Returns on 4/13 With KOTC Superfight Title Match Against Warpath Villareal


(Let’s all have a moment of silence for the career of Trevor Prangley. / Props: King of the Cage via MiddleEasy)

Before Tank Abbott re-enters the UFC and takes the heavyweight strap back from these pussy-ass point-fighters, his latest comeback will begin with a tune-up fight against guyliner-clad palooka Ruben “Warpath” Villareal, who has lost eight of his last ten fights. The match will go down April 13th at King of the Cage: Fighting Legends, at Gold Country Casino in Oroville, California.

According to a KOTC press release published last week, Tank Abbott is “the world’s most famous cage fighter” (!!!), and his fight against Warpath will be for the King of the Cage Superfight title, whatever the hell that means. And of course, Abbott’s second-career as a novelist also gets a plug:

[Abbott] recently took a few years off to write a 300,000 word trilogy about the origins of cage fighting entitled “Befor There Were Rules” with the first novel, “Bar Brawler”, now available for purchase as a paperback or digital download from Amazon.com.”

I think it’s really cool of KOTC to keep the misspelling of “Befor,” so as not to embarrass or confuse Tank. Anyway, there’s a little video profile on Tank after the jump hyping the 4/13 fight. Check it out if you want, but just keep in mind that his fascinating toupee is still in hiding.

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Update: Jose Aldo vs. Anthony Pettis Official, Aldo Will Receive a Lightweight Title Shot With Win


(Fan-made poster via CageWall.com)

Since we first wrote about Jose Aldo‘s refusal to fight Anthony Pettis, the UFC featherweight champion has changed his mind about the matchup — twice, actually. First, Aldo said that he would fight Pettis, but only in a non-title fight:

Who deserves a chance in the first place, is Ricardo Lamas, because he has beaten Erik Koch, who was the next contender. He earned the chance after the victory,” said Aldo in an interview with TATAME. “Cub Swanson is another too. They are athletes in the division, struggling for a long time for a shot at the belt, which never arrives according to opponents the UFC is scheduling. If the UFC wants a superfight, I do not see any problem. I fight whoever, but the belt has to be against Lamas or Swanson.”

They created a ranking that is not serving for anything, because they’re pulling people from other divisions. This is only happening on my weight, I see it nowhere else,” Aldo continued, pointing to the UFC’s recent decision to create an official system of sorting their fighters out. “It is an injustice to others.”

Bro, don’t even get us started on the useless goddamned rankings; at least the featherweight champion is concerned about the legitimacy of his division. But there was another twist to this story yesterday — Aldo finally agreed to put his 145-pound title on the line against Pettis at the original August 3rd date, once he was offered an interesting incentive:

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Oh, The Irony: Chael Sonnen Sues Co-Owner of Mean Street Pizza for Embezzlement


(A slice of feta, roasted garlic, and sun-dried tomato pizza priced at $8.99? We *must* be in the rough part of town.) 

When a fighter attempts to cheat or manipulate the system in the world of mixed martial arts, say by faking a glove tap and diving for a takedown, and is knocked unconscious as a result of his own dickishness, we usually chalk it up to Karma and call it a day. However, when a similar situation arises in everyday American society, it is not only acknowledged by those around it, but is often validated with a lawsuit.

Take Chael Sonnen, for instance, who you might recall was involved in a pesky little money-laundering scheme back in 2011 that ended in a $10,000 fine, probation, and the loss of his real estate license. You might also recall that Sonnen opened up a pizza joint last year for the sole purpose of trolling his way into a title shot against Jon Jones. It’s a move some would call “penny smart and dollar foolish,” but you simply can’t argue with his results. In either case, it appears that Sonnen must have consulted his list of personal acquaintances when determining a co-owner for the place, because he now finds himself playing the role of fraud victim rather than perpetrator. Via OregonLive:

Professional mixed martial artist Chael Sonnen is suing his business partner and the co-owner of his West Linn restaurant, claiming he embezzled $20,000 and owes Sonnen another nearly $23,000 in borrowed money and unpaid rent.

The lawsuit filed earlier this month in Clackamas County Circuit Court also seeks to oust Lee Gamble, who co-owns Mean Street Pizza with the Ultimate Fighting Championship fighter, from the limited liability corporation the pair run. 

My God, I haven’t seen irony that…ironic since Sonnen called out Lance Armstrong for PED usage while simultaneously using PED’s. Fraud is no laughing matter, but are any of you Taters finding as much hilarity in this story as we are?

-J. Jones

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