(Illustration via OctagonBuzz)

By Elias Cepeda

In a move that will likely make both fans and former Strikeforce fighters quite happy, CagePotato has learned from multiple sources close to the UFC that the promotion intends to increase the average number of fights per event in order to accommodate former Strikeforce fighters.

The UFC currently plans to feature twelve fights at UFC 160, their May 25th card in Las Vegas (main event TBA). From then on out, we are told, the organization plans to regularly produce twelve- and thirteen-fight cards in order to create more spots for former Strikeforce fighters. This would be a 1-2 fight per card increase over what the promotion has been doing lately. Most of the UFC’s recent cards — including UFC 156, UFC on FOX 6, and UFC on FX 7 — have each featured 11 fights.

(Seagal, seen here donning various items of clothing he had stolen from the cubbies of children he cared so dearly for.) 

Somewhere between Hard to Kill and Cockpuncher, Steven Seagal experienced a Christ-like resurrection of his career using only the power of audacity and the “free member for life” coupon to Old Country Buffet he had secured through a sponsorship deal in 1989. Seemingly overnight, the aging sensei emerged from a bargain bin of straight-to-DVD cop films (which to be fair, is a game he’ll never truly leave behind) and gut-bustingly awful musical endeavors to become the personal mentor of the pound-for-pound greatest fighter in the world, inventor of the front kick, and a “respected” member of the law enforcement community. Like the Phoenix who rose out of the Arby’s wrappers of its former self, Seagal was able to successfully come back from the dead and reconnect with semi-fame. And he is not letting go this time.

Take the events of this past weekend, for instance, in which Seagal was able to use said fame to join forces with the Maricopa County Police Department and assemble a posse (his words, not mine) of school shooting response specialists. Because if anyone knows how to react to a real life crisis situation, it’s the guy who has made a career terribly pretending to react to fake ones.

After the jump: A video snippet of this hilariously misguided endeavor, featuring paintball warfare, some misplaced picketing, and a surprising lack of firing range goggles*.

(MY GOD DEM ARMS. NOT SURE IF WANT. / Photo via allelbows)

No matter how Ronda Rousey‘s UFC 157 title fight against Liz Carmouche turns out, at least one more women’s bout will take place in the UFC this year — and it’s a good one, too. UFC officials confirmed today that former Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champ Miesha Tate will make her Octagon debut at the Ultimate Fighter 17 finale (April 13th, Las Vegas), where she’ll face 7-0 prospect Cat “Alpha” Zingano.

A native of Broomfield, Colorado, Zingano’s most recent appearance was at Invicta FC 3 last October, where she submitted Raquel Pennington by second-round rear-naked choke. Prior to that fight, Zingano pulled off a body-slam KO against Takayo Hashi, TKO’d Carina Damm, and won Ring Of Fire titles at bantamweight and flyweight. In other words, this lady is serious business. And forget Cris Cyborg — Zingano is probably the most absurdly-jacked female fighter we’ve seen since Rin Nakai.

So will Zingano be successful in her UFC debut, or will she suffer the blankety wrath of Takedown Tate? Shoot us your prediction — as well as your general interest level in this fight — in the comments section.

(Fan-made poster via NixsonMmaPosters. Let’s just pretend that Siver isn’t there.)

We wouldn’t expect a FUEL card in London to be “stacked” in the traditional sense. But although this coming Saturday’s UFC on FUEL 7: Barao vs. McDonald event is low on star-power, it’s actually loaded with great matchups. Here’s why these fights are worth paying attention to…

1. The main card is a hot mess of blue-chip prospects.
Even more so than UFC on FUEL 7′s headliners, I’m excited to see the return of three guys who looked like juggernauts in their UFC debuts. First, we’ve got our old pal Ryan Jimmo, who entered the Octagon on a 16-fight win streak at UFC 149 and proceeded to sleep Anthony Perosh in just seven seconds, then gave fans their money’s worth by busting out a celebratory robot. Can he possibly repeat that performance this weekend against James Te-Huna?

Also in the light-heavyweight division, 12-0 Nigerian-English mauler Jimi Manuwa — who has never been to the third round in his entire career, by the way — will face Cyrille Diabaté, five months after Manuwa whipped Kyle Kingsbury to a doctor’s stoppage TKO after ten minutes of action. And finally, Icelandic grappling master Gunnar Nelson will follow up his swift choke-out of Damarques Johnson with a fight against Jorge Santiago, in a welterweight bout that will probably go very badly for Santiago.

The prelims also feature a few more guys who almost fit in the same “hot-prospect” category, including Stanislav Nedkov — who’s still technically undefeated after his loss to Thiago Silva was overturned in November — and Paul Sass, the submission wiz who took the first loss of his career against Matt Wiman in September.

2. Michael McDonald could become the youngest UFC champion ever* — and by a fairly wide margin.

We honestly have no idea who Sasa Drobac is. A quick Google search of his name led us to a Croatian MMA League website which goes by — we shit you not — “Only Men Stuff.” If you didn’t click on that link, we wouldn’t blame you is all we’re saying. But the fact of the matter is, we don’t really need to know anything about Drobac to know that the dude is a badass in the truest sense of the word. Just check out the above video of his fight last weekend and try to tell us otherwise.

After getting caught with a front kick to the chest and eating a flurry of punches that would have made a sans-steroids Alistair Overeem crumble to the mat in agony (RELEVANCE), Drobac proceeds to leap into a counter flying armbar so beautifully timed that I think it gave me an STD. Hopefully it’s one of the fun ones, because chlamydia hasn’t exactly been the 24/7 laughfest that the mainstream media would have you believe it is.

If you have any information on this mysterious Drobac fellow (MMA record, age, list of known superpowers), feel free to give us a shout in the comments section.

-J. Jones

(Props: ESPN Sportsnation)

Ready to get your hearts broken again, MMA fans? ESPN’s SportsCenter and Sport Science programs are collaborating on a new Greatest Athlete of All Time bracket, in which legendary athletes from 16 different sports go head-to-head based on a “unique metric that factors in attributes such as speed, power, reaction time and more.” Naturally, the MMA representative is UFC middleweight deity Anderson Silva, whose astounding 16-0 record in the UFC includes 10 consecutive title defenses.

Let’s get one thing straight: Anderson Silva is not going to win this little competition. To advance out of the first round, he’ll have to beat Olympic swimming golden boy Michael Phelps, and if by some miracle he pulls that off, he’ll face the winner of Michael Jordan vs. Tiger Woods in the quarterfinals. Silva is just a patsy here. Roadkill. A half-assed nod to fans of a fringe sport. To demonstrate how little ESPN cares about us, here’s how Sport Science host John Brenkus sums up Silva’s career:

(Video via YouTube.com/CagePotato)

There’s nothing more entertaining than a bad street fight. With that in mind, CagePotato is kicking off a new collaboration with our old friend Gerald Harris, in which the MMA fighter/comedian overdubs some hilarious new dialogue to infamous street fight videos.

Check out the first installment of “Street Fight Funhouse” above, in which Gerald takes on a classic Canadian street-scrap from 1991. If you’d like to see future installments of this series, please subscribe to CagePotato’s YouTube channel right here. We’ll be putting out a new episode every other week. And show Gerald some love by visiting his own amazing YouTube page (HAHAHurricane) and following him on twitter!

Thanks for watching, and let us know what you think.

(Remember the good old days? Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

No, there is absolutely nothing sarcastic about the title of this article. Michael Bisping, who has the ability to sound like a total asshole even while saying things that many fans agree with, has respectfully released a statement on a hot-button issue. He has managed to disagree with other side without playing the role of a cocky British stereotype. I’m being dead serious.

On Friday, Bisping took to his website to release an official statement about Vitor Belfort’s testosterone replacement therapy usage for their fight at UFC on FX 7. As you may remember, following the event there was much speculation that Belfort may have failed his drug test due to information being leaked that one of the fighters from the card pissed hot. Even though the news regarding the actual fighter who failed his drug test turned out to be rather anti-climactic (read: not Belfort), many people feel that TRT has no place in MMA, including Michael Bisping.

Here’s his official statement, in all of it’s non-dickish glory:

(Party’s over, Ryan. Time to get back to work)

It didn’t take long for new UFC lightweight Ryan Couture to get his first bout with the organization booked, and it won’t be an easy one. According to Sherdog.com, the former Strikeforce fighter will put his four-fight win streak on the line against Ultimate Fighter Season 9 winner Ross Pearson on the UFC on FUEL 9 card, taking place in Sweden on April 6th.

Pearson is coming off of a TKO win against fellow TUF Australia vs. the U.K. coach George Sotiropoulos last December. Couture last fought and won last month in Strikeforce’s final event against KJ Noons.

Fans have wondered what type of opponent Couture would get since his signing with the UFC was announced last week around the same time his father, retired champion Randy Couture, and the organization acrimoniously split when he signed with competitors Spike and Bellator.

As is usually the case with UFC matchmaking, Couture is certainly getting a stiff challenge in the much more experienced Pearson, but he’s also getting a huge opportunity. With his experience and quality of opponents Pearson may be the favorite in this fight, but it is certainly a winnable contest for the younger Couture.

Should Ryan beat Pearson, he’d immediately make himself known as a major player in the UFC’s lightweight division. How do you see the fight, nation? And is this a reasonable first UFC bout for Couture?

- Elias Cepeda

Props: HDNetFights

The hope of a Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos superfight in the UFC may have just gone up in smoke, for good this time. According to Cyborg’s manager — a bespectacled fellow by the name of Tito “The Brain” Ortiz — the formerly-feared Brazilian striker has officially refused to drop to 135 pounds to compete in the Octagon, and she’ll now be seeking opportunities elsewhere. Here’s what Ortiz had to say last night on Inside MMA:

Right now, we’re actually waiting for [the] UFC to release [Cyborg]. We asked for them to release her, so Dana White actually talked to me yesterday. They gave an offer, I went to Cyborg and she said she didn’t want to do it—and we just asked for her release.

Since [the UFC] isn’t doing a 145-pound weight class, what else can they do? Now, she’s going to be released. Maybe we’ll go look somewhere else and you can see Cyborg crush another woman’s face in.

As Ortiz tells it, Cyborg was willing to drop to 140 to meet Rousey at a catchweight — though not until her fourth fight in the UFC for some reason — but cutting an additional five pounds would be physically impossible for Cyborg, and the UFC didn’t want to budge on the point. (Women carry less water-weight, and can’t cut as much weight as men, Dr. Ortiz explained.) Now, the only female MMA superfight available isn’t happening, which is also a serious blow for the future of women’s MMA in the UFC. How long will fans care about a division that only features one star?

Look, Ovince, all I’m saying is that maybe Lane Kiffin is slightly underrated and doesn’t deserve so much hatred. Props: fightinginsider.com

You could make the argument that Strikeforce has been more relevant since its demise in January than it was during its final year of existence. With Gilbert Melendez earning an immediate title shot against Ben Henderson and Strikeforce veterans pulling off massive upsets at UFC 156, it seems like we’re spending more time talking about it now than we were when it was still in business.

It is now being reported by Long Island Newsday that two of Strikeforce’s best light heavyweights, Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante, will fight each other at UFC 159 in Newark, New Jersey.

A former college football player for the University of Tennessee, Ovince St. Preux went 4-4 before being signed to fight on the undercard of Strikeforce: Nashville in 2010. St. Preux provided more than just a cheap pop for the organization, as he would defeat Chris Hawk in only forty-seven seconds. OSP would win his next six fights before dropping a unanimous decision to Gegard Mousasi at Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Masvidal in December of 2011. St. Preux’s most recent fight was a knockout over TJ Cook at Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman in August.

(Man, could you imagine if he was like four feet closer to his opponent when he threw that punch? Devastating. / Photo via MMAWeekly)

When you think about it, it is really remarkable how successful and durable UFC featherweight Manny Gamburyan has been in his MMA career considering how many serious and ill-timed injuries he’s sustained. The Armenian judoka lost TUF 5 after suddenly injuring his shoulder during the finals against Nate Diaz and has been sidelined multiple times since then.

Well it happened again, just two weeks before another crucial fight for him. SI‘s Melissa Segura first reported via twitter earlier today that Gamburyan has pulled out of his scheduled UFC 157 fight against fellow top featherweight contender Chad Mendes, due to a broken thumb and fractured elbow. Gamburyan later confirmed the report to MMAJunkie.

“I just want to apologize to the fans and (UFC President) Dana White and the UFC. I’ve been training really hard. We’ll fight down the road for sure. My team was the main event, and we’ve been training together for many years, and I really wanted to be part of it too,” Gamburyan said, referring to his teammate Ronda Rousey, who will be fighting Liz Carmouche in the UFC 157 main event.

“A true warrior never puts down his sword and I love to do it. It’s as simple as that. I never left.”

Those were the words spoken by MMA pioneer and schnauzer-impersonator Tank Abbott yesterday when he announced his return to the sport of MMA after a three year absence. Yes, despite dropping 8 of his last 10 contests by first round stoppage and venturing into the bizarre worlds of celebrity boxing and backyard wrestling in his spare time, the 47 year-old Abbott is giving this MMA thing another try. We guarantee this judgement call has nothing to do with the fact that he just spent the last of the money he made for the Kimbo Slice fight on a bottle of Fleischmann’s that is now empty.

Even more shocking than Abbott’s decision to knock ten more years off his life was his decision to ditch the gorgeous hairpiece/Santa beard combination that we last saw him donning. The interviewer in the above video also noticed this, and showed a shocking lack of awareness when asking Tank why he decided to shave it off, as if it was ever real hair to begin with. “I don’t need long hair when I’m training,” Tank calmly replied, also bewildered that his bird’s nest could have possibly fooled someone that wasn’t legally blind.

After the jump: A full video of Tank’s last performance, in which he clubbed the back of Mike Bourke’s skull like a baby seal at the same event that saw Ken Shamrock defeat a now-deceased, morbidly obese white dude with cornrows before testing positive for steroids. Simpler times, simpler times.

(TURN DOWN YOUR SPEAKERS. YOU WILL THANK US.) 

Right now, the East Coast has basically been shut down by Snowstorm Nemo, a frigid, unrelenting bastard of a blizzard that has cast the majority of our coastal cities into a state of chaos. The streets of Boston, for instance, are either gridlocked beyond the point of visibility, or conversely barren, save the ever-increasing presence of snow. It’s the kind of storm that makes you feel like using hyperbole when attempting to describe it, and if you’re an MMA fan, it’s also the kind of storm that makes you want to cancel all your plans and surf the web for knockout videos while drinking yourself into an early grave.

Luckily for you, I’ve already done all three of those things for you, starting with the above video of the Collin Reuter/Gerald Fike fight that went down at SAARFC II on February 1st. The fight has gained some notoriety around the web over the past week, not for ending with a spectacular technique ala Uriah Hall, but rather for the manner in which Fike collapsed to the canvas once he was knocked out. Not since the unconscious masturbater have I seen such a hilariously brutal reaction to a KO as Fike, who appears to mimic one of the Golden Arches before crashing head over heels into the fence.

Here at CagePotato, we’ve been responsible for trademarking such unique knockouts as “The Falling Tree” and “The Lawn Chair,” but this one had even us at odds when it came to deciding upon a name. “The Slinky,” “The Reverse Cowgirl,” and “The Gumby” were among our top choices, but we’ll leave it up to you Taters to decide. Just this once, we ask that you don’t make us regret our decision. Just. This. Once.

And if you think that KO was great, join us after the jump to check out a couple more…

(“Progidy.” “The 30-something Randy Couture of the 40-something crowd.” “I don’t speak-a the Portuguesa.” “Leg kick to the midsection.” All the classics are here. / Props: zombie00713 via MiddleEasy)

Thiago Tavares ‘Surprised’ By Recent Failed Drug Test Following UFC On FX 7 (Fightline)

‘Bigfoot’ Silva’s Manager: Cain Velasquez Rematch Possible, but Slower Path to Title Preferred (MMAFighting)

Johny Hendricks Calls Georges St. Pierre an ‘Idiot’ for Thinking Nick Diaz Deserves a Title Shot Over Him (MMA Mania)

Anthony “Showtime” Pettis and the Evolution of Mixed Martial Arts (BleacherReport)

If Condit Gets Hurt, Tyron Woodley Wants to Fight Rory MacDonald at UFC 158 (MMAConvert)

Jack Slack’s Greatest Strikers: A Brief Look At Giorgio Petrosyan (BloodyElbow)

Pictures: Joe Lauzon Competes In Food Decathlon (FightDay)

Steven Seagal and Joe Arpaio Are Training a ‘Posse’ of School Shooting First Responders (FilmDrunk)

The 40 Softest Athletes in Sports History (Complex)

2013 Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (MensHealth)

7 Must-See Photos That Haven’t Been Photoshopped (DoubleViking)

Everyone Is Doing the Harlem Shake Right Now (Break)

50 Horrible Photos Taken By Horribly Professional Photographers (WorldWideInterweb)

(Ryan Couture poses for a photo with his father, billionaire fragrance-baron Randy Couture.)

By Elias Cepeda

To say Ryan Couture’s MMA career has moved fast is an understatement. The son of perhaps the most accomplished MMA fighter in history, Randy Couture, Ryan left a banking job just a few years ago to train full-time in Las Vegas with his father, and only two and a half years into his professional career, he has put together a four-fight win streak against great fighters in Strikeforce.

Though his last name has created a whirlwind around him since day one, the junior Couture has kept his head down and stayed humble while working hard to perfect his craft. With the week Ryan has had, it is a good thing that he had practice at keeping cool and collected amidst craziness.

The 30-year-old lightweight upset K.J. Noons in mid-January on Strikeforce’s final card. It was assumed that several Strikeforce champions and contenders would be offered UFC contracts after that event but nothing was certain for Couture.

Like all up-and-coming fighters, it was Couture’s dream to make it to the UFC. He took some time to rest after the Noons fights, got back to light training and waited for word about his future.

“I have a rule where I take one week after a fight and do nothing but eat cheeseburgers and drink beer,” Ryan says with a chuckle. “But after that, I got back to lifting and doing strength and conditioning with Jake [Bonacci], just trying to ease back up to working on the mat because my face was banged up.”

Then, a week ago Couture says he got a life-changing call from UFC President Dana White. Ryan was offered a UFC contract, but it came with one serious caveat.

(Truer words have never been spoken. YEAH, I SAID IT.) 

Although TUF 14 alum and noted Dragon Ball Z enthusiast Marcus Brimage might not be a name on everyone’s tongue at the moment, he is quickly gaining a reputation as the featherweight division’s greatest hype train derailer (?). An African American T.E Lawrence with better tumbling skills, if you will. In his past two contests, Brimage has thrown a wrench into the plans of such highly lauded 145ers as Maximo Blanco (who to be fair, had his hype at least partially deflated by Pat Healy in his previous fight) and Jimy Hettes. Clearly the UFC has recognized Brimage’s current position as a litmus test for future prospects, as he has recently been booked to take on Irish phenom and two-division Cage Warriors champion, Conor McGregor, in a featherweight bout at UFC on FUEL 9.

When we last caught up with McGregor, he had moved up to lightweight to secure his second championship belt via a spectacular KO of Ivan Buchinger. Currently sporting a 12-2 record that includes 11 (T)KO victories and 9 first round stoppages, McGregor has put together an eight fight win streak over the past two years.

Will Brimage pull off yet another upset, or will he end up as another entry on McGregor’s lengthy highlight reel? Check out a couple videos of the Irishman in action after the jump and let us know in the comments section.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

In advance of the UFC’s first women’s title fight on February 23rd, Ronda Rousey and Liz Carmouche are getting the Primetime treatment, with a three-episode mini-series introducing viewers to the fighters’ personalities and personal histories. As we learn, Rousey and Carmouche both found themselves directionless after formative experiences — the Olympics for Rousey, the Marines for Carmouche — until MMA opened new chapters in their lives. The similarities end there, pretty much. Rousey is currently living the upwardly-mobile life of a UFC champion, while Carmouche is still broke as hell, working full days at the San Diego Combat Academy just to make ends meet.

A win for Carmouche would be life-changing, and she revels in the opportunity. “I absolutely think I’m going to spoil the UFC’s plans,” she says with a smile. (Hey, whatever happened to looking out for the company?)

Even if Liz is set up as the scrappy underdog who has fought tooth and nail to get where she is, the episode makes sure to push the adversity in Rousey’s life even harder. For better or worse, the Primetime series reaches an all-time high of emotional intensity in the final segment of this episode, as Rousey describes the heart-wrenching story of her father’s suicide, then breaks down in a moment of self-loathing for telling it. “I feel like I’m prostituting his memory for my own career gain, and it makes me feel like a fucking asshole,” she says through tears. Powerful stuff. Give it a look, and you’ll see a side of “Rowdy Ronda” that you might not have known about.

(The Shlemenko vs. Falcao stoppage)

Last night’s Bellator middleweight title fight between ever-twirling Russian Alexander Shlemenko and hard-sluggin’ Brazilian Maiquel Falcao didn’t disappoint. After an evenly-pitched first round that featured both men making statements with their striking — and Falcao mixing in a couple takedowns — Shlemenko focused his attacks on the body in round 2, hurting Falcao with a liver punch then dropping him with a short right hand. Shlemenko fired down a few more body shots from above before KO’ing Falcao with a precision head-shot. Shlemenko earns the vacant middleweight title in impressive fashion, and will now take a break until the Season 8 middleweight tournament produces his first challenger.

Also on the Bellator 88 card, the featherweight tournament quarterfinals were highlighted by returning contender Mike Richman, who scored his third knockout under the Bellator banner with a head-kick-and-punches stoppage of Mitch Jackson — pretty much the same thing he did to Jeremy Spoon last October, only this time with Dan Miragliotta doing his lovable late-stoppage thing. You can watch the Richman/Jackson KO after the jump, along with five more stoppages from the event. Full results are below.

Main Card
- Alexander Shlemenko def. Maiquel Falcao via KO, 2:18 of round 2
- Marlon Sandro def. Akop Stepanyan via majority decision (28-28, 29-27, 29-27) – Stepanyan was docked a point in round 2 for fence-grabbing
- Mike Richman def. Mitch Jackson via TKO (head-kick and punches), 4:57 of round 1
- Alexandre Bezerra def. Genair Da Silva via submission (armbar), 1:40 of round 1

Preliminary Card
- Frodo Khasbulaev def. Fabricio Guerreiro via submission (arm triangle), 1:15 of round 2
- George Hickman def. Stephen Upchurch via submission (rear-naked choke), 2:19 of round 1
- Clay Harvison def. Ururahy Rodrigues via KO, 3:34 of round 3
- Ronnie Rogers def. Shane Crenshaw via unanimous decision (29-28 x3)
- Joe Elmore def. Jerrid Burke via KO, 4:11 of round 2

(“OK, Jon, let’s call it a day. I’ve got to go get some fans.”)

Greg Jackson, world-renowned mixed martial arts trainer and Dana White-described “fucking sport killer” is known by MMA fans near and far for his ability to predict the mindsets of opposing fighters and react accordingly. He has created intricate, masterly crafted gameplans that have in turn helped propel the likes of Georges St. Pierre, Rashad Evans, and Jon Jones to the ultimate level of MMA glory. But as they say, “Those who can’t do, teach.” “They” were clearly referring to none other than Greg Jackson, who stated in an interview today that he didn’t “foresee any future problems” with the UFC despite the fact that he’s hopped on board Bellator’s upcoming TUF-ripoff reality show:

No, I don’t think so because like Randy (Couture) I’ve worked with Bellator before, and I don’t think it should be a problem. My fighters are my fighters, and I’m me and like Frank (Shamrock) said as well, I think it’s good for the sport.

Even Dana (White) would admit that it’s good for the sport to have other organizations around.  So I don’t foresee any problems.

Oh Greg, you ignorant slut. After all this time in the game, you think you would have a better understanding of The Baldfather’s view on friendly competition.

(Just like his mentor Kimbo Slice, Ray would find himself done in by the much smaller man when all was said and done.) 

When the list of Strikeforce fighters headed to the UFC was first made available to the public, the most glaring omission fans noticed from the get-go was easily that of Jorge Masvidal, the former lightweight title challenger who was set to face Pat Healy at Strikeforce’s final event before he was forced to withdraw due to injury. While a couple of fighters had been left off the list because they had already booked fights in the UFC (most notably Tyron Woodley and Bobby Green), fans were left scratching their heads in regards to Masvidal, who had both an open calendar and the kind of skills that could make a big impact in the sport’s highest promotion despite their apparent decision to pass him over.

Well you’ll be happy to know that “Gamebred” has in fact been brought over to the UFC and will be making his promotional debut at the lightweight-heavy UFC on FOX 7 card set for April 20th. Across the cage from Masvidal will be Tim Means, the 18-3 powerhouse who basically summed up the injury curse of 2012 when he was pulled from his UFC on FOX 5 fight with Abel Trujillo at the very last second for being KO’d by a sauna floor (Author’s note: By now, you’re likely attempting to compliment me on the clever wordplay displayed in this article’s title. I can only ask that you hold your applause for a time when my brilliance is less obvious.) Currently 2-0 in the octagon, we last saw Means at UFC on FX 3: Johnson vs. McCall, where he delivered the most painful one minute beating in recent memory to opponent Justin Salas. Expect fireworks in this one, Taters.

Masvidal vs. Means is just one of many intriguing fights that have been booked today. Join us after the jump to check out the full list…

(By the way, he’s supposed to be Danny Zuko from Grease. I’m guessing these costumes were not his idea.)

Dan Henderson fans, get your cash out. MMA Mania gives us the heads-up that Hendo is as high as a +196 underdog for his UFC 157 fight against Lyoto Machida on February 23rd. (In other words, a $100 bet on Henderson would return $196 in profit if he wins.) Considering that Henderson is coming back from a knee injury, it’s understandable that the oddsmakers don’t have complete faith in him. But considering how dangerous Henderson has looked in his last four fights — the epic war with Shogun Rua at UFC 139, and his knockouts of Fedor, Feijao, and Babalu in Strikeforce — it still feels like he’s being sold short.

Then again, you have to consider how Henderson matches up with Machida specifically. Sure, Hendo can turn your lights off with that H-Bomb if you stand in front of him, but he might have a problem with Machida’s skill at evasion and his perfectly-timed attacks from unorthodox angles. Are the odds juicy enough to warrant a bet on the old ‘dog?

In a related story, Ronda Rousey — who opened as a ridiculous -1500 favorite against Liz Carmouche — is currently sitting at a still-ridiculous -1050.

(Pretending to talk on the phone when your opponent is waiting for the face-off: Gangster. Photo via @BellatorMMA)

Bellator 88 goes down tonight at The Arena at Gwinnett Center in Duluth, Georgia, headlined by Alexander Shlemenko and Maiquel Falcao meeting for the promotion’s vacant middleweight title. This is a big freaking deal, relatively speaking. Here’s why you should care, and perhaps even tune in to the Spike broadcast at 10 p.m. / 9 p.m. CT.

Currently riding a nine-fight win streak, Shlemenko is 7-1 under the Bellator banner, winning the Season 2 and Season 5 middleweight tournaments. Though he lost his first title challenge in a 2010 decision against Hector Lombard, Shlemenko at least holds the distinction of being the only guy who Lombard wasn’t able to KTFO during his Bellator run. (We’d call that a “half-win.”) Shlemenko’s Season 5 tournament sweep in 2011 should have secured him a rematch with Lombard, but the Cuban slugger buggered off to the UFC, vacating his title.

Enter “Big Rig.” After an odd one-and-done career in the UFC, Maiquel Falcao eventually landed in Bellator, where he scored three consecutive unanimous decision victories last year to win the Season 6 Middleweight Tournament. And so, Bellator’s last two middleweight tournament winners will now face each other. So will Falcao’s power triumph over Shlemenko’s fancy spinnin’-shit? Check out some relevant videos after the jump and let us know what you think…

(“I’LL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME, JAY, WHO TATTOOED THIS AFFLICTION SHIRT TO YOUR BACK?!”) 

If the first month is any indication, 2013 is going to be a good year for MMA. There hasn’t been a significant injury in weeks (sorry Patricky), title fights are almost starting to make sense, and on top of it all, the UFC’s primetime ratings are slowly beginning their climb out of the abyss. Throw in the fact that Bruce Buffer’s upcoming autobiography is all but a shoe-in for a Pulitzer and we are left with little to complain about. It feels…good.

So before we jinx ourselves, let’s get to the great news regarding the preliminary portion of UFC 156, which was able to pull in record numbers during its run on FX last Saturday despite the fact that it featured several debuting fighters and not a lot of name power. As MMAFighting’s Dave Meltzer reports:

Saturday’s UFC 156 prelims drew 1,897,000 viewers, topping the previous UFC on FX record of 1,860,000 viewers set two weeks earlier for the Vitor Belfort vs. Michael Bisping card from Sao Paulo, Brazil.

The number was a huge increase from the prelims on FX on Jan. 26 before the FOX network special from Chicago’s United Center which did 1,208,000 viewers.

The largest previous audience on FX for prelims before a big show came on July 7 when theUFC 148 prelims did 1.8 million viewers. But that was to be expected, since there was more interest in UFC on that day with the Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen middleweight title rematch than any day over the past two years. 

After almost ten minutes of research, we have determined that there are only two real explanations for the UFC’s sudden viewership jump:

(“Don’t worry about me, Josh. I’ll be telling the media how much of a fucking joke you were to begin with by this time tomorrow.”)

It is being reported by multiple sources that Josh Barnett has officially turned down a UFC contract, despite the fact that we did literally everything within our power to hype up his return. The ungrateful son of a bitch former UFC heavyweight champion has been in negotiations with the organization to rejoin their ranks after his most recent home, Strikeforce, exited the fight game with a whimper last month.

Barnett’s manager, Leland LaBarre, seemed to suggest that show cash was not their issue with the UFC’s offer, which is pretty surprising considering the ridiculous rate Barnett was receiving over at Strikeforce. According to LaBarre, there were other, undisclosed issues between Barnett and the UFC that simply could not be worked out:

We agreed on guaranteed compensation.In fact, we never even countered. We accepted their original offer. There are some outlying issues – one in particular – that as of this point we were unable to agree on.

(Photo via @misscarlybaker. Full gallery is after the jump.)

As confirmed by the UFC UK twitter account, British “model/dancer/singer/actress/presenter” Carly Baker will appear as a guest Octagon Girl for UFC on FUEL 7: Barao vs. McDonald, February 16th at the Wembley Arena in London. Hailing from South West London, Carly has been modeling since the age of 14, and was formerly a member of the pop music groups Mynxsters, Holla, and SW1. (Never heard of any of them, but I’m going to assume they were all fantastic.) She has been featured in pictorials for Nuts, Zoo, FHM, and The Sun, and caught some attention after appearing in this music video.

See lots more of Carly on her official website, follow her life on Facebook and twitter, and check out some of our favorite Carly Baker photos in the gallery below…

(Hey, you can’t blame Vitor for following in the footsteps of his lord and savior.) 

File this one under “News that absolutely no one should be surprised about.”

We knew something had to be up from the moment Vitor Belfort gave his incoherent, rambling, Animal Farm-esque response when questioned about whether or not he had hopped on the TRT bandwagon currently sweeping through MMA. Either Belfort just really, really feared being ostracized from his future bridge group at the UFC retirement home — the Ultimate Fusspot CareCenter — or he was simply feeding the interviewer whatever thoughts he could string together whilst trying to find the nearest exit. And now that the drug test results for UFC on FX 7 have come back, the UFC would like you to know that Belfort was definitely doing the latter.

Earlier today, UFC officials confirmed that Belfort did in fact receive a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy in the weeks leading up to his main event bout against Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7. But fret not, for his post-fight test “did not indicate the presence of any prohibited substance for increasing performance improvement.” Thank de Jesus for that.

(Already, Bruce? But you have so much more living to do…)

From Chuck Liddell to Matt Hughes to Forrest Griffin, we’ve seen plenty of UFC legends share their life stories in published autobiographies. But for the first time, one of the UFC’s peripheral characters is releasing a tell-all. Unfortunately, it’s not Joe Rogan, who definitely should write an autobiography someday, or Burt Watson, who probably knows more inside-dirt than anybody. No, it’s actually Veteran Voice of the Octagon™ Bruce Buffer, whose book — It’s Time!: My 360-Degree View of the UFC — will be released on May 14th. So, is anyone interested in hearing the rags-to-riches story of the guy who introduces UFC fights? Allow Bruce to give you the hard sell (book description via Amazon.com):

If you’re reading these words, chances are that you, like me, are a fan of the great sport we call MMA.*

And if you’re a fan, then you probably recognize my face.

Yeah, that’s right — I’m that guy you see at every UFC match, spinning around and roaring into the microphone and getting up in fighters’ grills.

Okay, so I might not be the most subtle or refined announcer in the business. But I hope I communicate my passion for the sport in a way no other announcer does.

I’ll say it again: Passion. Because that’s what this book is about.

(Don’t worry, it’s the guy on the bottom. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

Relax, Potato Nation, we can all rest assured knowing that Vitor Belfort did in fact beat the colon cannonballs out of Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 without needing a banned substance to do so (Author’s note: Not that we would judge him if he did. Because when you judge someone, it sounds like you are a God. And we live in a freedom country, where you are either a Republican or a Democrat. Who is right?). And while that’s all well and good, one of the tests from the event did come back positive, as Dana White had mentioned earlier this week.

According to Brazilian news outlet Tatame, the fighter who pissed dirty at UFC on FX 7 was…Thiago Tavares:

After many rumors, the results of doping tests UFC Sao Paulo left [Note: Fucking Google translate, I tell you]. According to TATAME, the name of the athlete caught is Thiago Tavares. Our sources, however, need not know the substance used for light weight. His suspension will be nine months.

Yep, the guy we last saw eating Khabib Nurmagomedov’s elbows like they were acarajes is the one who got popped for what we can only assume is some kind of steroid. It kind of makes sense when you realize that Tavares regularly drops 20 pounds in between fights to fulfill his double life as salsa artist Marc Anthony.

(Click chart for full-size version. For previous Databombs, click here.)

By Reed Kuhn, @Fightnomics

Last week we broke down the UFC Featherweight division in key striking metrics. This week we’ll look at the largest (numerically) UFC division, the Lightweights. A full explanation of the chart and variables is included at the end of this post.

The Winners

Sniper Award: Daron Cruickshank finally showed off his striking skills in his second UFC appearance against Henry Martinez on the UFC on FOX 5 card in Seattle. With nearly 50% accuracy, he looked like he was practicing on a heavy bag before mercifully dropping an iron-chinned Martinez with a head kick KO. Interestingly, the “Detroit Superstar” is set to face another division sniper, John Makdessi, in March at UFC 158.

Energizer Bunny Award: Tim Means is two wins into his UFC career, and has almost doubled the standing output of his two opponents. He also maintained good accuracy and scored two knockdowns in those performances.

Biggest Ball(s) Award: Melvin Guillard has been punching above his weight for a long time in the UFC. To date Guillard has 12 knockdowns, putting him 3^rd all-time in the UFC behind Anderson Silva and Chuck Liddell. Not bad for a lightweight.