regret gifs
15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

February, 2013

Bellator 89 Results and Videos: Dantas KO’s Galvao to Defend Bantamweight Title, The ‘Rhino Era’ Continues


(Eduardo Dantas vs. Marcos Galvao video, via allthebestfights.com. Fight starts at the 1:48 mark)

So far, Eduardo Dantas‘s run in Bellator has been flawless. The aggressive Nova União member went 3-0 during the Season 5 bantamweight tournament in 2011, then choked out Zach Makovsky last year to win the promotion’s 135-pound title. Four months later, Dantas fooled around and got knocked out by American prospect Tyson Nam in an utterly meaningless fight for Shooto Brazil. (Bellator responded by threatening to sue Tyson Nam. Not a good look, guys.)

Last night’s Bellator 89 main event offered “DuDu” a shot at redemption, and fortunately, he rose to the occasion. Dantas made his first Bellator title defense against his teammate and former mentor Marcos Galvao, who won last year’s Season 6 bantamweight tourney. Dantas’s stiff jab and overall accuracy gave him the edge in the opening frame, and he turned up the heat even further in round 2, out-landing Galvao and rocking him with a head-kick. After a few more striking exchanges, Dantas found his kill-shot — a right-uppercut that buckled Galvao and sent him to the mat. A few more hammer-fists from the top, and it was lights out for the challenger.

Dantas was very emotional following the fight. “I’m sad and happy,” he said. “Sad because I had to fight my friend, and happy to still be champion of Bellator.” See? It’s not the end of the world, guys.

Bellator 89 also featured the Season 8 middleweight quarterfinals, which featured Bellator vets Brett Cooper and Dan Cramer picking up decision wins (over Norman Paraisy and Brian Rogers, respectively), as well as Russian newcomer Sultan Aliev out-pointing previously undefeated Mikkel Parlo. And let’s talk about Doug Marshall for a second, shall we? After showing up at Bellator 82 and KO’ing Kala Hose in 22 seconds, the former WEC light-heavyweight champ entered the middleweight bracket last night against Season 6 middleweight tournament finalist Andreas Spang, and knocked him out in just three minutes, adding another entry to the walkoff KO hall of fame. A couple more fights like this, and Marshall will have to change his nickname from “The Rhino” to “The White Hector Lombard.”

After the jump: Videos of the Marshall vs. Spang fight as well as a 15-second armbar from the prelims, and complete event results.

Read More DIGG THIS

Possible Rematch Alert: “Shogun” Rua and Lil’ Nog Both Interested in Do-Over of Epic ‘Critical Countdown’ Clash


(Trunchface: When a troll face meets a punch-face, the result is always legendary.) 

You see, this is what we love about “old school” fighters like Mauricio Rua and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira. They don’t give a shit about rankings (probably because they know the UFC’s official ones are shit anyways), the easiest path to a title shot, or sponsorship deals with anyone not named Praetorian. They only care about scores, and specifically, settling them. It is for this reason alone that Lil’ Nog — the same one currently riding a two-fight win streak including a win over Rashad Evans at UFC 156 earlier this month — recently stated an interest in a rematch with Rua — the same one who has gone loss-win in his past 7 contests and is on the heels of a UD loss to Alexander Gustafsson in December. That is of course, according to UFC President Dana White:

(Shogun vs Evans) is a fight, yeah. That is a fight that could happen, yeah. But I keep hearing this thing that Nogueira and Shogun want to fight each other, they want to do the rematch. I don’t know how that makes sense for Nogueira, but that’s what they want, that’s what I’m hearing they want. Far be it from me to not give somebody what they want. 

Let’s just act like that last sentence never happened for a moment and focus on the potential matchup at hand. Rua and Nogueira first met back at PRIDE FC – Critical Countdown 2005, where Rua emerged victorious by way of unanimous decision in a fight that became an instant classic amongst fans of the sport. The rematch (and a TUF: Brazil coaching gig) was first suggested by Nog back in August, and while circumstances have surely changed in the time since, we can’t imagine there would be a lot of resistance to the idea from a fan’s point of view. Clearly White agrees, but how about you Taters?

Now break out your foam fingers and chug some Yunker Fanti, because we’ve thrown a full video of Rua/Nogueira 1 after the jump to get you amped for the all but inevitable rematch. PRIDE NEVA DIE!!!

Read More DIGG THIS

Useless List: 33 Random Google Searches That Return CagePotato in the First Result [UPDATED]


(We couldn’t have landed #16 without you, MMc AA)

I’m going to be honest with you, here — it’s a slow news day. But instead of phoning in a post about the Comcast/FOX deal or Holly Holm’s Bellator debut, I’m going to try something much, much less interesting.

This morning, I discovered that a Google search for ‘new york mma regulation’ returns CagePotato articles in the first three spots, which is kind of exciting for us SEO-minded types. So I started wondering: What other general MMA-related search terms return CagePotato articles in the #1 spot? After about 15 minutes of idle searching, I was able to find dozens of them, and I decided to rank the top 33 below, based on total number of results that come back from that search. As it turns out, the list is a fairly complete overview of the coverage we’ve produced over the last five years — and a reminder of where our priorities tend to land.

The moral of the story? CagePotato might be marginalized as a jokey shitsite from time to time, but our impact on the Internet is kind of indisputable. So let’s give ourselves a self-high-five and proceed…

1. nba mma (#1 out of 114,000,000 results)
2. punch face
 (#1 out of 107,000,000)
3. bad ufc journalism (#1 out of 68,900,000; we also rank #1 for shitty ufc journalism — success!)
4. british ring girls (#1 out of 40,800,000)
5. mma funny (#1 and #2 out of 39,500,000)
6. brazilian ring girls (#1 and #2 out of 35,600,000)
7. worst fighters (#1 and #2 out of 29,600,000)
8. nude ring girls (#1 and #2 out of 21,000,000)
9. mma weight cuts (#1, #2, and #3 out of 16,200,000)
10. ugly mma t-shirts (#1 and #2 out of 13,900,000)
11. japanese freak show (#1 out of 9,160,000)
12. fist pose (#1 and #2 out of 7,240,000)

Read More DIGG THIS

And Now He’s (Sorta) Fired: Aaron Simpson Not Offered New UFC Contract, Already Booked for WSOF 2


(No, I’m watching *you* Jack Byrnes.) 

In a relatively surprising turn of events, 11-fight UFC veteran Aaron Simpson — whose contract expired with the promotion following his second round KO loss to Mike Pierce at UFC on FX 5 – has not been offered a new contract and has subsequently left the UFC.

The two-time All American out of Arizona announced his drop to the welterweight division in April of 2012 following a 6-3 run at middleweight and was expected to face Jon Fitch at UFC 149. Fitch was forced to bow out with a knee injury shortly thereafter and Simpson was eventually paired up with Kenny Robertson at UFC on FUEL 4, a fight he ended up winning by way of unanimous decision. In his next fight, Simpson squared off against the aforementioned perennial welterweight contender in Pierce. After dropping Pierce in the first round, Simpson would unfortunately find himself KO’d for the first time in his career* following a beautifully placed counter right hand on Pierce’s part early in the second.

But it’s not all bad news for Simpson, who has already signed a four fight deal with upstart promotion World Series of Fighting according to Ariel Helwani. And in an ironic twist of fates, Simpson will find himself competing at the promotion’s upcoming second event scheduled for March 23rd. “A-Train” will be stepping in against fellow UFC veteran Josh Burkman, who was expected to face undefeated prospect Ryan LaFlare at the event before LaFlare jumped ship to join the UFC.

Out with the old, in with the new.

*Yes, I recall that Simpson was TKO’d by Chris Leben at the TUF 11 Finale. But that was basically the Kalib Starnes of TKO’s. 

-J. Jones

Read More DIGG THIS

‘UFC 157: Rousey vs. Carmouche’ Extended Video Preview, Featuring Henderson vs. Machida


(“Of course I’m gonna beat Liz Carmouche. And everyone that comes after her. I’m going to retire undefeated, and there’s nothing any of these girls can do about it.” Video via: YouTube.com/UFC)

And here we have the traditional nine-minute preview of the UFC’s next pay-per-view event, which goes down February 23rd at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California. If you’re tired of the Rousey vs. Carmouche hype at this point (Rousey = Mike Tyson, “Lizbos,” etc.), just skip to 5:07 to see the profile of Dan Henderson vs. Lyoto Machida, which begins by recapping the Henderson knee injury that led to the scrapping of UFC 151. At the 5:58 mark, Dana White says that if Henderson beats Machida, Henderson will get the next light-heavyweight title shot, which is direct contradiction of…ah, just forget it.

Also: Henderson hints that he’s bringing a secret weapon to this fight, but if that doesn’t work, he’ll just have to hit Machida with his right hand. (Makes sense.) Of course, Hendo vs. the Dragon is a matchup of power vs. speed/footwork, but as Henderson puts it, “we’ll see how quick this old man is too.”

Read More DIGG THIS

UFC Scores Major Victory in Legal Battle With New York State; Promotion Could Begin Holding Events Under Third-Party Sanctioning


(Is this real life? / Dream-fight poster via NixsonDesign)

A hearing yesterday afternoon related to the UFC’s ongoing lawsuit against the State of New York — which challenges the validity of the state’s 1997 MMA ban on constitutional grounds — ended in the UFC’s greatest victory thus far in its fight to hold events in the Empire State. Jim Genia was on the scene at the U.S District Court of the Southern District of New York, and broke the news for Fightline.com:

In what was supposed to be a day of oral arguments pertaining to the State Attorney General’s most recent motion to dismiss, attorney John M. Schwartz — representing the Attorney General’s office — acknowledged unequivocally that the law prohibiting pro MMA did not apply to amateur versions of the sport, and that as per the statute, a pre-approved third-party sanctioning body could oversee MMA events in the state. The admission of the latter prompted the counsel representing Zuffa’s interests to say that if that were truly the case, then there’d be no further need to pursue the lawsuit – which in turn prompted the presiding Judge Kimba Wood of the U.S District Court of the Southern District of New York to push both sides to immediately settle…

Notwithstanding whether a settlement is reached, the door is now open for Zuffa — or any other MMA promotion — to circumvent the ban by utilizing one of the pre-approved sanctioning bodies enumerated in the statute. Those sanctioning bodies include the World Karate Association (since renamed the World Kickboxing Association, a.k.a. the “WKA”), the Professional Karate Association and the U.S. Judo Association, among others…

Read More DIGG THIS

Poll: Who Is the Least Likable Contestant in ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ History? [UPDATED w/Results]


(Don’t worry, Julian, at least this moment was not forever immortalized by the power of the internet. That would be *super* embarrassing.) 

If BG’s recaps are any indication, this season’s The Ultimate Fighter appears to be void of most of the fabricated, frat boy drama that has plagued countless seasons before it, opting rather for a more straightforward, yet stylistic focus on the fights themselves. And while TUF has undoubtedly matured after some 17 seasons, that isn’t to say that the show has completely rid itself of the kind of unsightly characters reality television oft shines a light on. This season’s Julian Lane is none other than Robert “Bubba” McDaniel, a relentless a-hole who thus far has both bashed teammate Gilbert Smith for being mentally weak the day before he was scheduled to fight and unsuccessfully attempted to troll Kevin Casey into a fight using tactics usually saved for elementary school playgrounds (or the comments section of BloodyElbow).

So while a few of us were discussing McDaniel’s douchiness in the comments section of our latest recap, we (we being ReX) got to thinking: Who was the least likable fighter in TUF History?

After the jump lies a poll with the most obvious offenders (Browning, Lane, Koscheck the participant, Koscheck the coach, etc.) for you to choose from, along with an “Other” option in case you feeling like calling out some of the lesser-known but equally offensive jackwagons to enter the TUF household. I cannot stress enough that I have never entered the TUF household. I’ll announce the results at some point tomorrow, because I do what I want, when I want. OK, you can include me as an option for that statement alone.

Read More DIGG THIS

[UPDATE] Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes Suspended From Boxing Following Epic Flop in Ray Edwards “Fight”


(Only in a freakshow match like this would you hear an audience member ask “What’s he waiting for?” after approximately 4 seconds of fighting.) 

Yesterday, the world was introduced to a man by the name of Nick Capes (which based on his fighting style, we can only assume is a pseudonym for Greg “Ranger” Stott), a hapless marshmallow of a man who somehow found himself in a boxing match against former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards. The results were hilarious, not in the Mark Kerr vs. Ranger Stott kind of way, but in the Dan Severn vs. Shannon Ritch kind of way. Capes flopped is what we’re saying. He flopped hard. Capes flopped so hard, in fact, that he has since been indefinitely suspended from boxing in North Dakota, which should give him plenty of time to continue pushing the fighting style of RIP on methed out tweekers near and far. As TwinCities.com reports:

Combative Sports Commissioner Al Jaeger says a video review of the fight between Nicholas Capes and a much larger Ray Edwards clearly shows Capes was not hit before he dropped to the canvas. Officials are continuing to investigate.

By “continuing to investigate,” we assume they mean “emailing this video to their entire contacts list with a subject line reading Re: Fatty takes a tumble LOLZ.

Read More DIGG THIS

Alexander Gustafsson to Receive Title Shot With Win Over Gegard Mousasi; Henderson/Machida Remain on UFC’s Pay-No-Mind List


(“I would consider it an honor to fight a great champion like Chael Sonnen. LOL, just kidding.” Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Not that reports like this are ever worth a damn, but in accordance with the current mood of UFC President Dana White, Swedish light-heavyweight contender Alexander Gustafsson will receive a title shot if he can beat Gegard Mousasi in the main event of UFC on FUEL TV 9, April 6th in Stockholm.

If Mousasi beats Gustafsson, he skyrockets right to the top of that division,” White said today in London. “And as far as Gustafsson goes, if he beats Mousasi in that fight, he’s in line for a title shot. This is a big fight for both of those guys.”

This, of course, is an old trick — pumping up a non-title-fight main event by declaring that it has title fight “implications.” But the UFC could very likely stick to their word this time, if for no other reason than to further punish Dan Henderson for his role in sinking UFC 151 and Lyoto Machida for refusing a title shot at UFC 152. Those two poor saps will be playing second-fiddle to a couple of broads in ten days at UFC 157.

Gustafsson has won his last six fights, which ties him for #4 on the list of longest current UFC win streaks. Would a seventh win against Mousasi convince you that he’d be a threat to Bones?

Read More DIGG THIS

‘The Ultimate Fighter 17: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen’ Episode 4 — Complete Video & Recap


(Props: ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ on Hulu)

With Team Sonnen up 2-0 following Uriah Hall‘s brutal knockout of Adam Cella, it’s time for Team Jones to shift the momentum before it gets out of hand — and it’s up to their #5 pick Collin Hart to save the day. Here are the brass tacks from last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen, which you can watch above in its entirety.

- Adam Cella returns to the TUF house, still wearing his hospital gown, and claims he has no memory of the fight. Nevertheless, he tracks Uriah Hall down in the shower and jokingly asks Hall why he hit him so hard. Hall still feels uncomfortable about the fact that he nearly ended Cella’s life. The fact that he’s naked while Cella is trying to have a conversation with him does nothing to alleviate the tension.

- Kevin Casey suffered a cut over his right eye during his elimination-round fight against Eldon Sproat, and says he chose to fight Collin Hart — a wrestler — because he runs a lower risk of getting the cut re-opened against Hart than he would against a talented striker, like Bubba McDaniel, for example. So yeah, in a way he is ducking Bubba, but it makes sense from a strategic standpoint. Unfortunately, Collin vows to elbow Kevin Casey’s face in.

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA