stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

April, 2013

UFC 159 Weigh-Ins: Live Video and Results, Starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Now that we’ve told you what to think about tomorrow night’s fights, it’s time to watch the competitors hit the scale, and laugh at them if anybody misses weight. Will Michael Bisping angrily point at Alan Belcher while swearing at him? (Yes.) Will Chael Sonnen leave Bones hanging again? (Probably not.) Does Sara McMann need a Band-Aid? (Wait for it.) Because her abs are friggin’ cut. (BOOM.) Watch the UFC 159 weigh-in action in the player above starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT, and take a peek after the jump for full results, which will be updated immediately afterwards.

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Oh, the Irony: June White is Back With Her Most Hilariously Misguided Venture Yet


(A dead-eyed lunatic who will not stop until she has destroyed her own kin? Where have we seen this sort of thing before?) 

Aren’t the elderly adorable, you guys? With their slow driving and their old-timey racism and their inability to adjust to current technological changes, they are all but walking punchlines just waiting to be set up! Take June White, for instance, who you might remember as the vitriolic, money-grubbing mother of UFC President Dana White. You see, old June wrote a tell-all book about her son a while back in which she claimed he was a soulless devil reincarnate, and has rightfully been raked over the coals for being the deplorable, transparent piece of garbage that she truly is in the time since. Typically, these attacks could be found in the form of comments like the one I just made on her Twitter account or her book’s Amazon page.

While most of us — like our buddies at Fightlinker, for instance — would write off the public’s harsh yet appropriate treatment of June as simple poetic justice, June herself has apparently viewed the backlash as an opportunity to self-implode with irony. Believe it or not, The Baldmother is now attempting to sue anonymous internet commenters with names like Bootyduty3 (If only I was joking) for “defamation, libel and civil conspiracy.” Sea Coast Online has the scoop:

June White, a Hampton resident and the mother of Ultimate Fighting Championship President Dana White, has filed a lawsuit to find out who has been smearing her name on the Internet ever since the release of a highly critical unauthorized biography she wrote about her son.

White claims a troop of cyberbullies — with aliases such as Bootyduty3, Joe Stranger and The Real June White — have been posting “horrific” comments about her and her family for more than a year. She said she fears her son’s company is behind the attacks. “I hate to say it but it could be (UFC that’s organizing the bad-mouthing), and that’s one of the reasons I really want to find out,” White said Wednesday. “If it is, that’s pretty sad.”

That’s Pretty Sad…June, I think someone just came up with the title of their soon-to-be-released autobiography!

More from this story, along with our running commentary, is after the jump.

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Insert “Mr. Not-So-Wonderful” Pun Here: Phil Davis Accused of Domestic Violence, Custody Battle Set for May 7th


(Damn, a Penn State alum *and* a blue belt under Lloyd Irvin? This is not looking good, Phil…) 

I’m no The Mentalist (although I often get confused for him on the street. YOU DON’T KNOW.), but I always saw light heavyweight contender Phil Davis as a kind of introverted, dare I say “nerdy” guy who happens to be a freakishly gifted athlete. Despite the fact that he, you know, chokes dudes unconscious for a living, “Mr. Wonderful” always came off (to me, at least) as a guy who was ultimately harmless when he wasn’t locked in a cage with a dude trying to beat him within an inch of his life.

Well once again, it appears that I don’t know shit about shit. Just one day out from his UFC 159 battle with Vinny Magalhaes, Davis not only finds himself in the middle of a custody battle over his child, but refuting allegations of “crazy brutality, including violent sex” that said child’s mother believes stemmed from his martial arts career. TMZ reports:

According to legal docs — obtained by TMZ — Vantris Patterson claims Davis body slammed her on a couch with such force … when the couch slid into the wall paint came off. And Patterson says, Davis — aka Mr. Wonderful — would often choke her during intercourse, and when she’d plead with him to stop he’d respond, “Shut the f*** up, bitch.” She says Davis has threatened to kill her numerous times if she ever slept with another man.

Now here’s the hook — Patterson claims Davis’ alleged propensity for violence has escalated because of his involvement in the UFC.  She says, “I am afraid that the numerous fights have negatively impacted his mental stability,” and she can’t defend herself because of his “increased strength and attacking ability.”

And if you think that’s crazy, just wait until you hear the allegations Davis lobbed back at Patterson in response…

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Ben vs. Jared: UFC 159 Edition


(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG:
 I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

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Josh Thomson Makes ‘Bitch Ass Lady Sounds’ When He Fights, According to Nate Diaz


(“OMG THOSE SHOES ARE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!!!!” / Photo via Sherdog)

If you thought Nate Diaz was going to accept his UFC on FOX 7 loss to Josh Thomson gracefully, then brother, you just don’t know what it means to be a Diaz. Nate was a guest on BJPenn.com Radio yesterday, where he squeezed enough sour grapes to make a fine red whine. (I’m not even going to ask if you saw what I did there. I know damn well that you saw it.) Here are some of the highlights, as transcribed by MMAMania and MMAFighting:

“[Thomson] didn’t come in there and put no ass whopping on me. You know what I’m saying? He didn’t come in there and make anything happen. I have never fought somebody before who had ever wanted out of a fight so bad. I expected a fight. I expected him to grab me and try to hold on to me or throw some kicks and move and throw some punches and move but that motherfucker was straight running and I had to chase him down. I was chasing him the whole fight. I was the aggressor. I was restless, you know? How can you not be when a guy is running scared shitless for his life? I’m over aggressive trying to get a hold of him and that’s why I got hit, because I’m over aggressive. I’m trying to meet the criteria to win these rounds…

“[He] was scared shitless when I was fighting him. It’s unbelievable how scared he was in there. He was running for his life…He was making bitch ass lady sounds and that’s not bullshit. I’m not here talking shit on him, this is reality. He was making woman sounds. He was running out of the clinch. I hit him in the face and he was going ‘Oh, oh, ehh’ making woman sounds I’ve never even heard out of a man before during a fight. I’m hearing his corner telling him to smile and I’m like, ‘Yeah, smile mother fucker’ and not a single smile came out of his mouth. He had a look of panic the whole fight. You have to be in there to fight these guys to know that. This is how it went. I’ve seen him in other fights, he was smiling at the other guy, bouncing around. He didn’t have no time for that against me. He was frantic and trying not to get his ass whooped…

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[VIDEO] Go Figure, Michael Bisping and Alan Belcher Could Barely Keep Things Civil at the UFC 159 Presser Earlier Today

If there’s one thing that Michael Bisping knows how to do, it’s convincingly sell each and every one of his fights as a “grudge match.” If there’s a second thing Michael Bisping knows how to do, it’s make a bunch of promises about said fights that he has no intention of following through with. Set to face Alan Belcher at UFC 159 this weekend, Bisping has already made sure to check both of those items off his list. First, he promised fans that he will knock Belcher out in the first round — something he has promised ad nauseum over the years yet hasn’t actually done since 2008 — and at today’s UFC 159 presser, he successfully convinced us that his fight with Belcher really is a grudge match. Touche, Mee-kale.

Granted, Bisping is facing a guy who has been calling him out for years now, but it’s starting to seem like Bisping needs to hate the guy he’s fighting in order to get motivated — commonly known as The Diaz Initiative. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if Bisping was truly confident that he could finish Belcher so easily, wouldn’t it have been nice to see him actually take Belcher and Wallace Gilberry up on their bet? Knocking out Belcher would be impressive, sure, but knocking him out and costing his buddy a $300,000 Rolls Royce? That is walking away from an explosion in slow-mo and not looking back levels of cool. 

In either case, Bisping and Belcher made sure to get the shit-talking started early at today’s presser, and we’ve thrown the video above for your enjoyment. So check it out, then let us know how many times you think Bisping will point at Belcher’s face and scream “You’re dead!” come weigh-in time. He seems to enjoy doing that.

-J. Jones

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Afternoon Video Dump: Ronda Rousey Judo-Throw Highlight Reel, Chael Sonnen Gets the Girl + More


(Props: mmadigest)

Proving that you don’t need dramatic music or clever editing to make a killer highlight reel, here’s a must-see compilation of Ronda Rousey judo-tossing the bejeezus out of Miesha Tate, Nick Diaz, Uriah Hall, Aaron Tru, Bas Rutten and a laundry list of opponents and training partners. And now that you’ve seen that, follow us downward for three more of the day’s best sort-of-MMA-related videos…


(Props: AXE)

Chael Sonnen‘s girlfriend is very attractive. Here’s how he landed her, with some sage advice at the end for all you young single fellas out there.

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen’ Edition


(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

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UFC on FOX 8 Adds Demetrious Johnson vs. John Moraga Headliner; Matt Mitrione Comes Off Suspension to Fight Brendan Schaub


(John Moraga leaves Ulysses Gomez in a heap during his Octagon debut at UFC on FOX 4. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

The UFC on FOX 8 bookings continue to pile up, with a pair of high-profile matchups announced last night by the UFC. First off, the July 27th event in Seattle now has an official main event: flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson vs. fast-rising challenger John Moraga, a matchup that was originally supposed to headline the TUF 17 Finale earlier this month before Mighty Mouse was forced to withdraw due to injury.

Johnson is coming off his first title defense in January — a unanimous decision win over John Dodson at UFC on FOX 6 — while Moraga’s two-fight stint in the UFC has produced stoppage victories over Ulysses Gomez and Chris Cariaso…and that’s pretty much all it takes to get a title-shot at 125 pounds these days. Before starting his MMA career, Moraga was a two-time All-American wrestler at Arizona State University, and he currently trains at The Lab in Phoenix alongside Benson Henderson and Jamie Varner.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the fighter-weight spectrum…

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Pro-Wrestling-Style Finishing Move of the Day: Anderson Ramos Wins Via Back Suplex Side Slam [VIDEO]


(Props: Giovani Brugnago via DamnSevern)

This quick ‘n’ nasty video was taken two Saturdays ago at a regional Brazilian promotion called Hawk Fight Championship, and features a dude named Anderson “Adele” Ramos (seriously?) knocking out his opponent with the kind of high-altitude body-slam that you don’t usually see outside of a pro-wrestling match. Though the move looked eerily familiar, I wasn’t sure what to call it, so I asked our resident pro-wrestling historian Seth Falvo if he could lend some assistance. After doing a bit of YouTube research, he directed me to this video of a “Back Suplex Side Slam,” and further explained via e-mail:

It turns out no one used it as a finisher/trademarked a name for it that I can tell. I checked Undertaker, Dr Death, Bam Bam, Backlund, Taz, Kane, DDP…fucking no one named it anything. Vince McMahon’s famous “Whattamaneuver!” is probably it’s unofficial name.”

So there you have it. The Back Suplex Side Slam. Cue shooting star/piano music.

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