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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

April, 2013

Spencer Fisher vs. Yves Edwards, Michael Chiesa vs. Reza Madadi Booked for UFC on FOX 8 in July


(The plaque is nice and all, but Chiesa would have gladly entered the TUF 15 tournament for two dollars.)

Although we can’t exactly accuse Spencer Fisher of violating our ban on MMA fighters retiring only to immediately unretire, he came about as close as humanly possible when he told various media outlets that his trilogy-completing fight with Sam Stout at UFC on FX 4 last June would probably be his last. As we originally remarked, it seemed about as fitting an end to his MMA career as Fisher could have asked for — his pair of previous fights with Stout had not only fueled an intense rivalry between the two (not on the level of Paraguay vs. Uruguay, but still), but had earned the duo Fight of the Night honors on two separate occasions. That he suffered a razor-thin split decision loss should not have cheapened the significance of the moment, at least in our minds.

In either case, it appears that Fisher is not quite ready to call it quits, as he has been booked to face fellow UFC vet Yves Edwards at UFC on FOX 8, which transpires from the KeyArena in Seattle, Washington on July 27th. Fisher has dropped 5 of his last 6 contests, whereas Edwards has gone win-loss in his last 5 fights and is coming off a unanimous decision loss to Strikeforce newcomer Isaac Vallie-Flagg at UFC 156. For Fisher’s sake, we hope he wins this, because ending your career on your own terms sure beats joining the And Now He’s Fired club.

And now let’s address the possible person of interest pictured above, who has also been booked for UFC on FOX 8…

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Picking Five Rivalries Better Suited for the Next Season of ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ Than Canada vs. Australia


(Yeah, we don’t get it either, buddy.) 

Perhaps the most unique thing you can say about last year’s TUF: The Smashes was that it showcased the age old rivalry between England and Australia for fans who might not have known how deep-seated it truly went. It not only raised the stakes between teams to a new level, but it also played a role in the verbal (and allegedly physical) on set squabbles between coaches Ross Pearson and George Sotiropoulos, and culminated in a pretty damn entertaining fight when all was said and done.

And while TUF: Brazil 2 is currently playing LinkedIn to The Ultimate Fighter’s Facebook, there were at least a few of us who were excited to see which rivalry would be showcased on the next other, other version of TUF, which I guess you would label the MySpace of Ultimate Fighters, maybe? I dunno; management keeps telling us that we need to start writing to our key demographic (drunk, agoraphobic 14 year-olds) and I’m just trying to keep up with the times. *stares out window, finishes scotch* 

In any case, MMAFighting has passed along word that the next international season of The Ultimate Fighter will showcase the epic rivalry between…Canada and Australia. I may have lost most of my long term memory in that scaffolding accident, but I can’t seem to recall any conflict every existing between the two –it doesn’t help the Wikipedia page for “Canadian military history” is completely blank.

Why the UFC decided to go with this rivalry (or another season of Australians, for that matter) is anyone’s guess, but here are a few rivalries we think would have better suited the next international season of The Ultimate Fighter…

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The 25 Most Essential MMA Twitter Feeds: 2013 Edition


(Despite what your grandmother thinks, Twitter is not a euphemism and does not warrant a squirt of Dawn in your mouth.)

By Jason Moles

Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ‘em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…

twitter.com/sonnench

Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”

If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.

Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #4/27/13″

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Miesha Tate vs. Liz Carmouche Targeted for UFC on FOX 8, Pending Medical Clearance


(Step one: Distract the Lizbos. / Photo via Miesha’s Facebook page)

Following her loss to Cat Zingano at the TUF 17 Finale, Miesha Tate was slapped with a medical suspension due to a busted nose that would put her on the sidelines for up to six months. But if she can get ENT clearance in time, she’ll return to the Octagon at UFC on FOX 8 (July 27th, Seattle), where she’ll face former title-contender Liz CarmoucheUFC Tonight correspondant Ariel Helwani was the first to report news of the planned bantamweight matchup. For the record, Tate says her nose is fine and the damn doctors are just over-protective.

Carmouche has been inactive since her armbar loss to Ronda Rousey at UFC 157 in February, although she made some headlines recently with her campaign to become the first openly-gay athlete sponsored by Nike.

UFC on FOX 8 is already scheduled to feature the women’s bantamweight match between Julie Kedzie and Germaine de Randamie, so if Tate vs. Carmouche gets the green-light, the 7/27 UFC card will be the first to feature two women’s bouts on the same night. Any early predictions?

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Chael Sonnen’s WWE Shtick Now Includes Swearing on Sportscenter and Feeling Up Their Anchors [VIDEO]


(And just like that, the inspiration for Mean Street Hair Care & Boutique was born.) 

For a dead man walking, Chael Sonnen sure seems to be enjoying the hell out of his final days on death row. The UFC’s favorite hypeman appeared on ESPN’s flagship program, Sportscenter, just hours ago to plug his upcoming public execution at UFC 159 and appeared to be channeling the great Bobby Knight during his brief interview, leaving Sportscenter anchor (and all around fox) Sage Steele grasping at straws in attempt to steer things in any other direction but that of a complete farce. She tried, dammit.

The segment began in typical Sonnen-fashion – interrupting/patronizing the interviewer, throwing a couple WWE-esque threats at Jones, arms, charms, rinse, repeat — but quickly took a turn for what people in the television industry refer to as “What-the-fucks-ville” after Sonnen promised to put Bones “on his ass” on live television. Sure, it was a pretty mild offense given the current spectrum of television, but the remark incurred the subtle wrath of Steele nonetheless. But if there’s one thing Chael P. Sonnen doesn’t understand, it’s subtlety. And being that Chael is mere days away from being beaten into a coma at best, he figured he might as well check off one last item from his bucket list: feeling an African American woman’s hair. It was a weird moment for everyone involved.

Video after the jump. 

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Dead Cat Alert: Ronda Rousey Opened Up as a -825 Betting Favorite Against Zingano


(Photo via ChicagoNow.com)

According to our current homepage poll, 43% of you think Cat Zingano at least stands a chance of victory when she challenges Ronda Rousey for the UFC women’s bantamweight title following their TUF 18 coaching stint. If only the oddsmakers were so confident. Despite Zingano’s comeback thrashing of Miesha Tate earlier this month, Rousey opened up as a stunning -825 betting favorite in the future matchup, with Zingano opening at +475. (Translation: At those odds, you’d have to wager $825 on Rousey to collect a $100 profit if she wins, while a $100 wager on Zingano would pay out a $475 profit if the challenger manages to score an upset.)

We haven’t seen a betting line that lopsided for a UFC title fight since…well, Rousey’s last fight against Liz Carmouche. To put this in perspective, Jon Jones originally opened at just -600 for his UFC 159 fight against the totally-fucked Chael Sonnen, although most betting sites now have Jones in the -800 to -900 range. In other words, the oddsmakers feel that Cat Zingano has about as good a chance of beating Ronda Rousey as Chael Sonnen does of winning a title fight in the weight class above his own. Yeesh. Sorry, Cat.

Bottom line, if you think Zingano has a shot in this one, consider laying down some cash, and quickly. Personally, we’ll stick with our usual investment strategy of flushing $20 bills down the toilet when we find them hidden in our stack of $100s. The price of gold may rise and fall, but that toilet remains as stable as something you sit on and crap into. I don’t know where I was going with this.

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According to Bec Hyatt, Fallon Fox is a Real Dick [RIMSHOT] and Got in Her Grill Before Invicta FC 5


(Somehow we have a feeling that this is not how things went down.) 

I know, I know, we already agreed to stop talking about this. But upon stumbling across the story of Fallon Fox allegedly terrorizing several Invicta fighters backstage at Invicta FC 5, I figured I had to break protocol just this once. Because, regardless of whether you support Fallon Fox’s right to compete in MMA as a woman or not, you should know that when all is said and done, Fox might be a tad bit unstable as a human being. Who saw this coming, amiright?

That is of course, according to Invicta FC strawweight Bec Hyatt, who recently posted the following parable on her Facebook page. As stated by Hyatt, Fox was spotted lurking around the hotel lobby that several Invicta fighters were staying at on the morning of Invicta FC 5, presumably looking for a fight or at the very least, to stir some shit up. I’ll let Becca tell the story:

It’s true that Fallon & I had a “run in” on fight morning in the hotel lobby. Nothing physical, just an unwelcome distraction from my fight later that night. Long story short… I was on my phone Facebook training, as I do, when my husband told me to look up to the second floor balcony. Sure enough I was greeted by Fallon (along with another female fighter??) staring meanie daggers at me & if looks could kill… boy would I be dead LOL!! A Fallon Fox mean mug makes Jasminka Cive’s look child’s play ;)

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In No-Man’s-Land After Latest Loss, Nate Diaz Calls for Intermediate Weight Classes


(“…and I’m just saying, in this new 163-pound division, maybe motherf*ckers shouldn’t be allowed to kick you in your damn neck so much.” / Photo via Esther Lin @ MMAFighting)

Even before he lost his second consecutive lightweight fight to Josh Thomson at UFC on FOX 7, Nate Diaz was eyeing a return to welterweight — a division he’d already bounced out of in 2011, following back-to-back losses to Dong Hyun Kim and Rory MacDonald. So what’s a guy supposed to do if he’s not powerful enough to deal with the beasts at 170, and cutting to 155 is no longer worth the misery? Call it sour grapes if you will, but Nate floated the following suggestion on twitter yesterday:

@ufc more weight classes ASAP?? 163,178,193 More super fights more champion vs champion, closer to weight better fights more potential …

Obviously, that 163-pound division would be tailor-made for the younger Diaz brother, so it makes sense that he’d support it. But self-interest aside, there’s some logic to the idea. While UFC president Dana White has been looking to smaller and smaller fighters as the future of the promotion — 115-pound dudes? seriously? — the UFC already has a deep roster of talented, popular contenders who have suffered from being “in between” weight classes, either ruining their bodies through massive weight cuts to stay competitive, or giving up tremendous size disadvantages to compete at a more “natural” division.

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Erik Perez Out of UFC 159 With Staph Infection; Bryan Caraway to Replace Against Johnny Bedford


(Goyito and Kim Winslow: One sword-swallower short of a freak-show. / Photo via Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports)

Seems like it’s been a while since we’ve had a good-old-fashioned staph outbreak in the world of MMA. The latest victim of the nasty bacterial infection is Erik “Goyito” Perez, the bantamweight up-and-comer who was slated to face TUF 14 vet Johnny Bedford on the UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen prelims this Saturday in Newark. Perez, who holds a 3-0 UFC record with all wins by first-round stoppage, was hospitalized over the weekend with a severe staph infection in his leg. No word yet on a timetable for Perez’s return; let’s just hope his infection hasn’t reached Randleman or McFedries levels of grossness.

Replacing Perez on less than a week’s notice is Team Alpha Male’s Bryan Caraway, who’s coming off a split-decision loss to Takeya Mizugaki at UFC on FUEL 8 in March. Miesha’s boyfriend will need to come correct against Bedford, who’s officially 2-0 in the UFC with both wins by KO/TKO. So will Caraway follow in the footsteps of his teammates’ recent success, thanks to the addition of striking coach Duane Ludwig? And will you care enough to watch it?

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Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC on FOX 7: Henderson vs. Melendez’ Edition


(“Well, Joe, I’d just like to thank God for giving me the strength to-OH SHIT HERE COMES THE REST OF ‘EM.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

Let us begin this week’s edition of the Armchair Matchmaker with a few fun facts about last Saturday’s UFC on FOX 7 event

-With eight (T)KO’s, UFC on FOX 7 tied UFC 92 for the most (T)KO finishes in a single UFC event in the promotion’s history.

-In defeating Jordan Mein via second round TKO, the resurgent Matt Brown now holds the third longest win streak (5) amongst active UFC welterweights, as well as the record for (T)KO finishes in the welterweight division. Yet incredibly, the FOTN check Brown received was the first end of the night bonus he has earned in some 15 UFC fights.

-Frank Mir, like, really dropped the ball against Daniel Cormier.

Now, using those absolute truths and a little speculation, let’s decide who the biggest winners and losers from UFC on FOX 7 should face next, shall we?

The Winners

Ben Henderson: Well, we already know who he’ll be facing next, so that one is pretty easy. The question now becomes: How do you see Bendo taking it? Split decision, unanimous decision, or the always rare majority decision?

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