Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

May, 2013

UFC Designing New Gloves to Reduce Eye-Pokes, Rather Than Actually Penalizing Eye-Pokes


(“Revolutionary” new glove? Been there, done that.)

Eye-pokes: They’re devastating, career-threatening, unfairly handled during fights, and mysteriously under-penalized. Due to the open-fingered nature of the gloves, gouging is a unique and unfortunately common problem in MMA. But can anything be done to fix it? According to UFC president Dana White during an appearance on ESPN 710am radio in LA yesterday, the promotion is looking at a new solution — changing the design of the gloves:

We actually have started to work on a new glove that actually curves your hand. Like the glove is curved like a U, so you can still open your hand, but your fingers don’t point straight out.”

Bruce Lee’s bulky (but badass) mitts in Enter the Dragon immediately come to mind. But is the eye-poke epidemic really a hardware issue? As UFC Hall of Famer/VP of Athletic Development Matt Hughes told BJPenn.com recently, “I don’t see how you can blame it on the gloves. It comes down to the fighters making mistakes with their hands.”

And that’s exactly it. It’s a discipline problem. Why are we blaming the gloves, instead of blaming the professional fighters who blatantly throw their fingers toward the eyes of their opponents, then claim afterwards that it was an attempt at a punch?

Read More DIGG THIS

Knockout of the Day: Regional Heavyweight Title Fight Ends in One of the Finest Dicknailings Ever Committed to Film


(Props to MiddleEasy for the find, and yes, that is none other than McBeardsly Oxendine handling Buffer duties.) 

We love local MMA shows for many of the same reasons we love Leonard Garcia; technique is often trumped by a need to entertain, punches are thrown like baseballs at a speed pitch machine, and by the time the smoke has cleared, we usually have at least one thing to laugh about or reference at a later date. It’s like watching a Troma film; sure, you won’t learn any life lessons from the experience, but are you gonna sit there and tell us that you would be better off if you had never seen Poultrygeist? That’s what we thought.

So in the name of mindless entertainment, we bring you the XFP 3 heavyweight title fight between Mark Jahad and Wayne Johnson that went down in Raleigh, North Carolina last Friday. All the cornerstones of a local fight are there; ridiculously telegraphed haymakers, both participants gassing out inside of two-minutes, and a shaky and often out-of-focus camera capturing all the action.

But what you might not see coming is the picture perfect dicknailing that comes via a Wayne Johnson punch (no to be confused with a Wayne-johnson punch, which is even more devastating) at the 2:50 mark.

The knockout comes, somewhat ironically, from a wild right hand that any two-eyed individual should have seen coming a mile in advance. Unfortunately, Mark Jahad was not one of those people, and his error resulted in one of the finest dicknailings ever commited to film. Alright fine, it’s not technically film. GAWD, can’t you guys have fun with anything?

-J. Jones

Read More DIGG THIS

And Now They’re Fired: Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Leonard Garcia’s UFC Career Might Finally Be Dead [UPDATED]


(If there was ever an image that summed up Garcia’s UFC experience, this is it.) 

You know, we may have had our fun at Leonard Garcia‘s expense over the years, but when it was passed along that his fighter profile had finally, mercifully been removed from UFC.com’s master list this morning, we were filled with an unexpected sense of dread — the ending of Old Yeller comes to mind.

While it’s true that you could easily fault Garcia for being entertaining to his own detriment (not unlike Chris Lytle, although “Lights Out” did manage to break the .500 mark by the end of his UFC career), it would hard to blame the man himself for being gifted a few decisions or overstaying his welcome in the UFC; Garcia simply showed up when told, always made weight, and put on as entertaining a fight as humanly possible. That’s more than most past or present UFC employees can say, and the fact that Leonard managed to do all this without once testing positive for a banned substance or steroids* should only improve his much grumbled about reputation in the organization.

Unfortunately, Garcia’s 2-7 record in the promotion did little to raise said reputation, hence the removal of his profile — along with the profiles of a few other fighters that we’ll get to in a second — from UFC.com. Dana White had mentioned that Garcia’s UFC future was “not looking good” following his fifth straight loss to Cody McKenzie at UFC 159 last month, so it was only a matter of time before this news broke. With the loss, Garcia joins such company as Steve Cantwell, Elvis Sinosic, and John Alessio as the only UFC fighters to suffer five straight losses in the UFC.

Best of luck, Leonard. Hopefully you can get a couple confidence-boosting wins on the local circuit and work your way back up to the top, because the UFC could always use another fighter who puts the fans before him/herself.

As we mentioned, Garcia’s profile was only one of many to be removed from UFC.com earlier today, so join us after the jump to check out the full list of vitims.

Read More DIGG THIS

Anderson Silva Responds to UFC Fine, Says He Did Not Know of Media Obligations


(Well, I guess it’s back to the dollar menu for a while.)

Anderson Silva was recently fined $50,000 for missing what the UFC described as a day of media obligations in Los Angeles to promote his July UFC 162 middleweight title defense against Chris Weidman. A pissed-off Dana White said of Silva, “Everybody wants more money, more money, more money, but nobody wants to sell the fight or go out and talk to the media. Talking to the media is part of your job, whether you like it or not.”

Had Silva really turned the corner from giving his usual reluctant, terse (if occasionally clever) answers to press and gone Full Diaz — skipping media events entirely with both middle fingers in the air? According to the champ, no. Although his response to getting punished by the organization was quite Diazian. In short: Bro, Anderson totally didn’t even know about these appointments. And, besides, his job is to train and fight, not talk.

“I’ve never missed any commitment to the UFC. I would never have made the trip to Brazil if I knew I had to be in Los Angeles,” Silva said, according to a translation by Sherdog of an interview given to Brazilian outlet, Veja.

Read More DIGG THIS

And Now He’s Retired: Shane Carwin Calls It Quits After Brief and Terrifying Career


(Photo via Heavy/Fightday)

Shane Carwin never needed to fight. For the last 13 years, the former UFC Interim Heavyweight Champion has worked full-time as a design engineer, and he could have made that his entire life if he wanted to. But Carwin happened to be blessed with some extraordinary physical gifts — a level of athleticism that helped him become the NCAA Division II wrestling heavyweight national champion in 1999 while competing for Western State Colorado University, and the kind of eerie, inhuman punching-power that made him one of the most intimidating heavyweights in MMA history.

Unfortunately, Carwin’s supersonic rise to the top was derailed just as quickly as it began, first by a failed challenge against unified champion Brock Lesnar at UFC 116 — with Carwin eating his first career loss thanks to Lesnar’s unexpected resilience and a poorly-timed adrenaline dump — and then by a seemingly-endless series of injuries and surgeries. Inactive since his June 2011 decision loss to Junior Dos Santos, Carwin announced his retirement yesterday evening with a simple message on twitter: Officially retired 2day:-) thank you to my family, friends and fans! #dreambig GOD BLESS!!!

Even before he entered the UFC, Carwin was something of an urban legend, a spook story that MMA heavyweights told their kids at night. Making his professional debut in October 2005, Carwin’s first eight fights all ended in first-round stoppage victories, half by chokes, half by way of his enormous fists. During one stretch in 2006-2007, he stopped three consecutive opponents in the first minute of the fight.

In 2008, Carwin got his well-deserved invite to the UFC, where he faced Christian Wellisch at UFC 84. Here’s what happened:

Read More DIGG THIS

Street Fight Funhouse #4: Interview With the Axe Murderer


(Props: YouTube.com/CagePotato)

And now for something completely different: In the latest installment of our “Street Fight Funhouse” series, MMA fighter/comedian Gerald Harris takes a break from the brawlin’ to do his bad lip-reading take on a post-fight conversation between Wanderlei Silva and Gareth A. Davies. If you don’t laugh at this, damn you to hell.

Subscribe to CagePotato’s YouTube channel right here, and be sure to follow Gerald on twitter @GHurricane!

Read More DIGG THIS

[VIDEO] This Promo for Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp is Crazy and it Doesn’t Even Feature Bob Sapp

In its own beautiful, twisted way, Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp represents a meeting of two MMA titans years in the making. In one corner, you have one of the most notorious (yet somehow, hilariously cursed) can crushers in MMA history. In the other, you have perhaps the most notorious can of all time, a man so pathetic, so feeble, so shameless, that he has openly admitted to folding at the first sign of trouble in most of the fights that comprise his current ten-fight losing streak. It’s a match made in freak show heaven, right up there with Shaq vs. Canseco and Martinez vs. Zimmer II.

So with all that in mind, it’s rather appropriate that the first promo for Emelianenko’s…we wouldn’t call it anticipated return features a bearish looking Aleksander knocking over children’s sand sculptures and doing his best to look as bored as he was with James Thompson. At least that’s what we think happened. The whole thing is in Russian, so some of the context in that intensely metaphorical chain sequence might have been lost on us. The promo does, however, contain the kind of weirdness that simply transcends the language barrier, so we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. In either case, we can’t wait to see Sapp’s response video.

So what’s the over-under on how long Sapp lasts in this one, anyway? Twenty, dare we say thirty seconds?

-J. Jones

Read More DIGG THIS

Sad Knockout of the Day: Valentijn Overeem Gets Alistair Overeem’d By Some Russian Dude in France


(Your speakers. Turn them down.)

Do any of you guys remember when Alistair Overeem nearly killed Kazuyuki Fujita with that knee at K1 Dynamite!! 2009? Picture that, only with Alistair’s older brother Valentijn playing the role of Fujita and some Russian guy playing the role of Ubereem and you won’t even have to watch this video of Valentijn getting KO’d in France a couple weeks back. However, if you lack our photographic MMA memory (MMAmory?) and imaginative powers, allow the above video to do the work for you.

Recorded with the finest and therefore snootiest of French potatoes, the Overeem/Russ N. Guy (What I did there. See it.) fight went down at Pancrase Fighting Championship 5 in Marseilles, France on April 27th. How any event with the Pancrase eponym can have a number lower than 300 attached to it is beyond us, but skip ahead to the 4:30 mark to catch the beginning of this shim sham. Despite knocking his opponent down and nearly snatching up a couple submissions, this fight ends in the fashion we’ve come to expect from Valentijn: suddenly, with “The Python” lying in a coil on the canvas. DO YOU SEE?! DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!

Read More DIGG THIS

12 Weird Facts About Point-Deductions in the UFC [MMA STATS]

The tireless researchers at MMADecisions.com have just released a chart detailing every referee point-deduction in UFC history, for fights that went to decision. It’s a surprisingly short list, but it reveals some very interesting facts. We’ve screen-capped the chart above; click it to enlarge, and visit the “History of Point Deductions” page on MMADecisions to learn more about each individual fight.

Now, what does this chart tell us? Well…

1. In over 11 years of UFC events since 2001, only 22 points have been deducted during fights that went to the judges.

2. None of those point-deductions happened in 2003-2005, for some reason.

3. Herb Dean is the leading point-docker on the list with five points total. John McCarthy, Mario Yamasaki, and Steve Mazzagatti all trail him with four apiece.

4. Kicks to the groin lead the list of most-frequently penalized infractions (five deducted points total), with illegal upkicks to a downed opponent coming in second place (four deducted points). Eye pokes show up only once on the list. Still no love for the balls of the face.

Read More DIGG THIS

Today in “JERRY RIPS!”: Nick Diaz’s Corner Would Prefer That His Opponents Stop Being All Slippery and Sh*t

If there’s one thing we know about Nick Diaz and the members of Team Cesar Gracie, it’s that they will not tolerate bullshit in *any* of its various forms. However, if the latest upload from ever-enigmatic Youtube user Jerry Rips — which features audio of Diaz’s corner during his bouts with Carlos Condit, BJ Penn, and Georges St. Pierre — is any indication, it would appear that wetness is just below bullshit on Team Cesar Gracie’s list of deplorable offenses. And once you realize what the average TCG training session looks like, you’ll begin to understand just what the punishment is for such an offense.

Confused? Well welcome to the 209, bitch. It’s a magical place where, should you find yourself fighting for a(n interim) title in MMA’s highest promotion, you will receive such sound corner advice as “That’s the kind of asshole shit he’s got,” “Fuckin’ dick,” and “Condit, you pussy!” But mainly, your teammates/coaches will be relegated to complaining about how slippery your opponent is. Not slippery in the figurative sense — we mean, like, that pussy just got out the pool or some shit. And don’t even get them started on what’ll happen if this fight goes the judges, who are all probably betting against you anyway. But seriously, they put waaay too much water on that motherfucker, man.

We could watch this all day, but we first feel compelled to ask: Nate Diaz vs. Frito in an academic decathalon — who takes it?

-J. Jones

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA