MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

May, 2013

UFC 160 Weigh-In Results: Nurmagomedov Blows It, Bigfoot Has a 23-Pound Weight Advantage Against Velasquez


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The 24 fighters on the UFC 160: Velasquez vs. Bigfoot 2 card weighed-in earlier today in Las Vegas — with varying degrees of success. First, the bad news: Undefeated lightweight Khabib Nurmagomedov might have just cursed himself to another year of FX curtain-jerking by coming in a whopping 3.5 pounds over the 155-pound limit. Instead of trying to cut 2.5 pounds to make 156, Nurmagomedov forfeited 20% of his purse, 10% of which will go to his opponent Abel Trujillo, with the other 10% going to the Nevada State Athletic Commission. As if that didn’t make Nurma look like enough of a jackass, he followed up the weigh-in by donning his traditional Ben Askren wig then shoving Trujillo for no particular reason. (Skip to the 9:53 mark of the above video, and you will see a side of Burt Watson you’ve never seen before.)

In other news, both heavyweight bouts on the main card feature 20+ pound weight differentials, with Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva coming in 23 pounds heavier than champion Cain Velasquez, and Mark Hunt out-hefting Junior Dos Santos by 25. Check out the full UFC 160 weigh-in results after the jump, and be sure to come back to CagePotato.com tomorrow night for our liveblogs, starting with the FX prelims at 8 p.m. ET.

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Friday Link Dump: Gina Carano Talks ‘Fast & Furious 6′, Kim Couture Makes Serious Allegations Against Brett Atchley, The Dana White Pull-Up Challenge + More


(Sooooo…any big plans for this weekend? / Check out lots more “That’s Enough Internet For Today” pictures at WorldWideInterweb)

Gina Carano Talks Fighting, Fast & Furious 6 (MadeMan)

Jon Jones and Alexander Gustafsson Trade Shots on Twitter (BleacherReport)

More Women’s MMA Fighters Accuse Manager Atchley of Misconduct; Atchley Continues Denials (BloodyElbow)

Be honest: Can you do more pull-ups than Dana White? (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

It Looks Like Fallon Fox’s Weight Cut Went Well, Check Out This Pic of Her in a Bikini (MiddleEasy)

Cain Velasquez: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know (FightDay)

Happy 34th Birthday to Frank Mir! (FamousBirthdays)

10 Random Thoughts About The Impact Wrestling Scratch Off Game (WithLeather)

The 25 Smartest Athlete Purchases in Sports History (Complex)

Military Made: The Fit for Combat Workout (MensFitness)

14-Year-Old Girl OWNS Van Halen’s “Eruption” Solo (Break)

Five Weird Facts About Game of Thrones (DoubleViking)

Arrested Godfather Is the Greatest Mashup of All Time (TurdFergusonBlog)

20 Models in Really Awkward Poses (EgoTV)

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Ben vs. Jared: UFC 160 Edition


(Cain doesn’t see an enormous head. He sees a big, beautiful, blood-piñata, just waiting to burst open and spill its bounty. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

BG and Danga are back mahfuckas, baaaaaaaaaaaaam! [*cough*] Excuse me. What I meant to say was, UFC 160 goes down tomorrow night in Las Vegas, so CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up once again to discuss all the important themes surrounding the event. Which heavyweight fight on the main card is more likely to end in an upset? Should we write off KJ Noons as nothing more than UFC shark-bait? What’s a Nurmagomedov gotta do to get some respect around here? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

It seems pretty obvious that the UFC is trying to set up Dos Santos vs. Velasquez III, but who stands the better chance of throwing a wrench in their plans, Hunt or Silva?

Jared: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS. The last I checked, Mark Hunt was riding high on the most unexpected win streak in UFC history, turned his last opponent’s jaw into mashed potatoes, and will now be harboring the kind of silent-but-deadly rage that can only be brought about by jet lag. “Bigfoot” is coming off an upset win over a sans testosterone-abusing Overeem, sure, but picking him over the man, the myth, the pseudo-Mexican who reenacted the rock scene from Cannibal Holocaust on him almost a year ago to the day? No thanks, my dude.

Ben: I hate to agree with this jackass — and how dare you try to persuade me by linking to a track from Primus’s underrated Rhinoplasty EP, Jared — so for the sake of argument, I’ll go ahead and say ARE *YOU* KIDDING *ME* WITH THIS?? Mark Hunt has built up a dubious win streak slinging haymakers against guys who allowed him to do so. Junior Dos Santos is far too disciplined to become another victim of the same old rock-’em-sock-’em Super Samoan routine. In a brawl, Hunt has a chance against anybody. But this won’t be a brawl — it’ll be boxing match, and JDS is about as good as they come in that department.

And sure, Hunt has scored a string of upsets against guys like Cheick Kongo and Stefan Struve. Meanwhile, Antonio Silva has scored far more unexpected and dramatic upsets against guys like Fedor Emelianenko and the aforementioned ‘Reem. Bigfoot has heart for days, and fists big enough to dummy up anybody in the heavyweight division on any given night, including the current champion. How many times are you gonna sleep on this guy? #BigfootEra

Gray Maynard vs. T.J. Grant: Who will earn the right to suffer a narrow split decision loss to Ben Henderson next?

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[VIDEOS] Countdown to UFC 160: Velasquez vs. Bigfoot 2


(Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio Silva II)

This Saturday night, you can join us for all the action during our UFC 160 liveblog, but today you can prep for the pay-per-view card with these “Countdown to UFC 160” documentary hype videos, broken up into three segments for the ADD-afflicted among you.

At the top, we’ve got the low-down on the night’s main event rematch — Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva for the UFC heavyweight title. After the jump, check out the story of MMA’s own Cinderella Man, Mark Hunt, as he heads into his number one contender’s bout with former champion Junior Dos Santos. Plus, Glover “Lil’ Iceman” Teixeira continues his path up the light-heavyweight ladder against streaking Kiwi James Te Huna.

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Ok, So No One Really Knows What’s Up With Jon Jones’s Toe Yet


(Thursday’s media scrum with Dana White, via MMA Heat)

Just a couple days after floating the possibility that middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight king Jon Jones could meet in a super fight within the year, UFC President Dana White gave the media another tantalizingly qualified statement pertaining to the matchup.

“[Jones and I] talked [Wednesday],” White told assembled media during a scrum Thursday after the UFC 160 press conference. ”His thing is, he says he feels great and the toe’s healing good. But the problem was that ligament. That ligament popped. Anywhere you tear a ligament, blood flow helps the thing repair itself and heal, and you don’t get a lot of blood flow at the toe.”

Jones injured his toe in his successful title defense over Chael Sonnen last month. He is currently in Russia but White says that when Jones returns, he’ll get an MRI to get a sense of how soon his toe might be ready for training and fighting again.

“Who knows – this thing could be six weeks, or it could be six months,” White said. “It’s a pain in the ass. It’s always some crazy little thing. He’s in Russia, and when he gets back he’s getting an MRI done on his toe again.”

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Booking Alert: Erik Koch vs. Dustin Poirier Added to UFC 164, ‘Jacare’ vs. Okami Targeted for Future Event


(Ricardo Lamas helps Erik Koch re-enact the fire-extinguisher scene from Irreversible, which I will not be linking to, because it’s way too early in the morning, and it’s freaking horrible. / Photo via Getty Images)

We’d forgive you for getting Dustin Poirier and Erik Koch confused. Both are 24-year-old 5’9″ white guys with shaved heads, interesting tattoos, and nearly identical MMA records. Both were considered future title threats in the UFC featherweight division until recent losses set them back. The only real differences between the two men are Poirier’s three-inch reach advantage and Koch’s three-shade tan advantage. And logically, they’ll be meeting each other at UFC 164 (August 31st, Milwaukee) in the greatest “this guy looks like that guy” matchup since Miller vs. Healy.

A product of the Roufusport MMA Academy, Koch will enjoy hometown advantage, and will try to rebound from his first UFC loss in January, a TKO-via-elbows mauling by Ricardo Lamas at the UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson card. Meanwhile, Poirier most recently suffered a unanimous decision loss to Cub Swanson in February, which dropped his Octagon record to 5-2. So who will bounce back to contendership, and who will fall further down the featherweight ladder?

In other booking news…

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Freak Show Alert: Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle to Face Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 23 in June


(McCorkle’s most recent performance: A first round submission via kimura loss to Satoshi Ishii at IGF – Genome 24 via Youtube user Sohc Honda.)

Ladies and gentlemen of the Potato Nation, the creme de la creme of freak show MMA fights has just been booked. No, we’re not talking about Canseco vs. O’Neal or Zimmer vs. Martinez II (the latter of which is as elusive as the great white buffalo). We’re talking about McCorkle vs. Pudzianowski, the SHW showdown years in the making that has finally become a reality. Now, you might be asking yourself, “Danga, how is this the aforementioned pinnacle of freak show fights, you good for nothing piece of hyperbolic human garbage?” Well first ask yourself the three prerequisite questions necessary to determine any great freak show fight, you cold-hearted son of a bitch.

1. Does it feature a crossover MMA fighter who comes from a flamboyant, unknown, or completely fictitious background? Yes…yes it does.

2. Will at least one of the participants show up to the fight weighing no less than 300 pounds? You bet your fat ass!

3. How about the organization; is it shady bordering on incompetent? Brother, don’t even get me started.

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CagePotato Presents: MMA Impressions, With Jade Bryce [VIDEO]


(Props: YouTube.com/CagePotato. Please subscribe!)

Jade Bryce was our favorite MMA ring girl even before she agreed to do this video with us. Now, she’s officially reached CagePotato Hall of Fame status.

Watch as the Bellator beauty does her most faithful renditions of Rashad Evans‘s infamous knockout face, “Just Bleed” guy, drunk dancing mom at UFC 150, Ryan Jimmo‘s celebratory robot, “Rising Douchebag,” and the nose-smushing face-off between Don Frye and James Thompson at PRIDE 34. We had a blast putting this together, and we hope you enjoy it too.

Follow Jade on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and keep an eye out for her new website, coming soon. And if you want to see a sequel to “MMA Impressions With Jade Bryce,” please throw some impression-suggestions into the comments section…

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And Now He’s (Basically) Retired: Former UFC Champion Matt Serra Walks Away from MMA

Fifteen years after starting his professional MMA career, and six years after becoming the UFC welterweight champion in one of the greatest upsets of all time, veteran fighter Matt Serra has told Newsday that he is “walking away” from the sport after a life-threatening health scare.

“I really think I’m walking away,” Serra said. ”I’m going to be 39, I just had my rib taken out. I’m having my third kid. My schools are doing well. What am I doing, looking for another pay day? It’s not really for that. I mean, it doesn’t stink, but it’s not really for that. Am I still trying to hold on for the glory? Glory is a drug, dude. I’m telling you, that’s the problem. It really is. I know why guys can’t walk away. I absolutely get it.”

Serra developed three blood clots that hospitalized him — two in an arm and one more in a lung. “Then I got freaked out,” the Long Island native said. “You don’t catch that [and] after the lung, that stops your heart or your brain. Then you’re done. I’m very fortunate to, basically, be here. Sounds kind of morbid. If I didn’t catch that — I was about to go to bed. I’m like, man, something’s not feeling right.”

Serra now takes blood thinners and has to receive injections of an anticoagulant per day for the next three months. The blood clots in his arm caused another serious health condition, which required surgery. According to Newsday, Serra’s collarbone and first rib on his left side were compressing a blood vessel and restricting blood flow — a condition known as thoracic outlet syndrome — which forced him to have the rib removed in early May.

Despite not having fought since 2010 and now dealing with these serious health issues, Serra cannot bring himself to shut the door completely on fighting in the future or even to use the word “retirement.”

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This Bigfoot Silva/Taylor Swift Mashup is the Greatest Thing You Will Ever Witness Today [VIDEO]

It’s pretty much known by anyone who possesses a working set of ears that Taylor Swift has the vocal range of a walrus being strangled to death by a vibrating belt machine (as opposed to say, Warbringer, who are basically the Three Tenors of our generation). Still, that fact hasn’t stopped her from snatching up damn near every Billboard, CMT, MTV, BET, or Grammy award out there, because musical talent is something that is apparently determined by how many lovestruck 12 year-old girls buy your relationship-prostituting albums nowadays.

In any case, Ms. Swift and her voice have become quite the subject of parody on the Twitters and Youtubes lately, with her hit song “I Knew You Were Trouble” taking the brunt of it. While her duet with a screaming goat might be the most notorious of these parodies, Youtube user FreeFights4You has offered an alternative, MMA-themed take on the song that will surely ascend to the top of the Taylor Swift-based parodies for at least a week.

Featuring none other than UFC 160′s Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva on guest vocals, this parody might just be the greatest thing you will ever witness today. I mean, it’s no “baby monkey riding on a pig,” but what will ever top that slice of fried gold, honestly?

Now if only the UFC would quit being so stubborn and start accepting fan-made promos like “Nick Diaz: Crazy, Shirtless Mofo” and “Knowing About Horse Meat is Half the Battle,” we guaran-damn-tee that they would see their pay-per-view sales increased tenfold. TENFOLD WE TELLS YOU.

-J. Jones

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