Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

July, 2013

Fight of the Day: UFC Vet Rob Kimmons Scores/Suffers Double Knockdown, Broken Ankle at ‘Epic Fight Night 1′


(Fight starts at the 3:50 mark. I know, it’s no “mumblegumblemurglegurgle” but I promise that the next one will be funnier.

Because we feel obligated to pass along whatever disgusting, pro-wrestling inspired, or plain brilliant videos we come across on a daily basis — often regardless of their relationship to MMA — here’s a video of UFC veteran Rob “The Rosedale Reaper” Kimmons breaking his ankle in three places during his headlining fight with Tyler Stinson at ‘Epic Fight Night 1′ yesterday. While the break itself isn’t all that gruesome when you’ve masturbated to witnessed such horrific moments as Corey Hill vs. Dale Hartt, it’s what leads up to it that truly sets this gem apart from most MMA injury videos out there.

Just over 30 seconds into the first round, Kimmons and Stinson land simultaneous left hooks, sending both fighters crashing to the mat. Murder boner status: Half-mast. But as Kimmons tumbles to the canvas, he does so with his ankle twisted beneath him — think Cro Cop vs. Gonzaga, then tuck it into your belt. The presiding referee fails to notice this, of course, and allows a wobbled Stinson to slinky his way over to a clearly down-for-the-count Kimmons and drop a few more unwarranted punches before calling it a day. Murder boner: Achieved. Mazzagatti disciple: CERTIFIED.

We’d like to wish Rob the best of luck on his road to recovery, as well as ensure him that by the time he is retired, MMA refs will still be mostly incompetent when it comes to protecting their fighters. We’ve never been known for our bedside manner.

-J. Jones

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Josh Rosenthal Sentenced to 37 Months in Prison for Charges Stemming From $6 Million Marijuana Bust


(“Alex, listen to me, you’re going to be alright. That weed you smoked was a new hybrid strain I’m working on. I call it…’The Nelmark‘.” / Photo via Getty)

Six months after pleading guilty to drug charges including conspiracy to manufacture and distribute marijuana and possession with intent to distribute, MMA referee Josh Rosenthal has been sentenced to 37 months in federal prison with no possibility of parole. MMAFighting.com confirmed the news with the office of Senior District Judge Saundra Brown Armstrong, who sentenced Rosenthal today in Oakland, California’s U.S. District Court. Rosenthal will also face three years of probation after being released from the clink.

In case you missed this story when it first broke, we’re not talking about a guy getting hassled for carrying a little weed. Rosenthal was secretly a big fish in the Bay Area marijuana-ecosystem, and owned a warehouse in Oakland containing over 1,300 marijuana plants. Federal agents raided the facility last year, putting the kibosh on an operation that was estimated to be worth $6 million.

Now, one of MMA’s most capable refs is heading to lockup. And yet Steve Mazzagatti is still at large. Just doesn’t seem fair, does it.

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Heads Up, Bachelors: Gina Carano is Single Again!


(You see, Henry? This is why you never date a triple threat, especially when that third threat is “Ability to strangle a man to death with bare hands.”) 

Dependent on whether you’re just a single dude with incredibly unrealistic expectations or a gossip whore with an incredibly loose grasp on reality, you will probably take the news that Gina Carano is once again single as either a gift from the Gods or a travesty on par with the time K-Stew and R-Pats broke up. In any case, US Weekly is reporting that the power couple of Carano and not Christopher Reeves are donzo.

This is normally where we’d block quote something from the actual article, but are you fucking kidding me? THIS IS SINGLE AGAIN, YOU GUYS. Let’s celebrate with photos and gifs after the jump.

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Junior Dos Santos vs. Cain Velasquez III Officially Booked for UFC 166 on October 19th


(“What I want to know is, who is this Hocky Dennis person and why he no get hespect?” Photo via Getty Images.) 

In an interview with ESPN yesterday, Dana White confirmed that Junior Dos Santos and Cain Velasquez will meet in their highly-anticipated rubber match at UFC 166, which goes down on October 19th from the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas. We now go to Joe Rogan for a reaction…

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Don’t Worry, Dana White Is Just Bluffing About That ‘Eliminating Bonuses’ Thing


(“It’s an ‘undisclosed locker room bonus,’ okay? That means we don’t tell the media, we don’t tell the IRS, and we especially don’t tell my wife.” / Photo via TerezOwens.com)

For years, the UFC’s end-of-night performance bonuses have rewarded fighters for outstanding battles and finishes in the Octagon, as well as given fans a metric to determine which fighters are the most consistently entertaining. But now that more and more fighters are publicly coming out to blast the promotion’s pay scale, UFC president Dana White says he’s thinking about ending the practice altogether, and using that money instead to bump the guaranteed salaries of lower-tier fighter. As he explained to media yesterday:

“The bonuses were something we’ve been doing out of the kindnesses of our (expletive) hearts,” White said. “That’s not something that was ever done or structured. We started doing it and that was it. It was something we liked to do, thought it was a cool thing to do. Apparently people don’t like it. They want the lower-level guys to get paid more money.”

Asked to clarify if this was really a move the promotion could make in the not-so-distant future, White answered emphatically.

“(Expletive) yeah, it could happen,” White said. “That’s what I’m thinking about doing. All the (expletive) lower-level guys think they need their money boosted. Everyone thinks it’s not enough money, so that’s easy to do.”

This, of course, is nothing more than a transparent bluff, on par with your father threatening to “turn this car around, goddamnit!” 30 minutes into a family road trip. Now that Dana has suggested that the UFC will transform its pay structure — sacrificing those $50,000 end-of-night awards to fatten the paychecks of prospects — here’s what he expects will happen next:

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Anderson Silva: “If I Fight Jon Jones, I Don’t Think I’m Going to Win”


(Silva vs. Jones: A dream fight that will continue to exist only in the realm of oddly proportioned fan-art. / Illustration via IsraelFelix)

During a media luncheon Monday in Burbank, California, UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva was asked for perhaps the millionth time about a possible super fight against light-heavyweight title holder Jon Jones. This time, however, Silva chose to answer the question, and in a remarkably candid way.

“If I fight Jon Jones, I don’t think I’m going to win,” Silva said.

Silva defends his title against Chris Weidman this Saturday at UFC 162. He has previously sought a super fight against welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre but GSP has seemed publicly uninterested in the bout.

The Canadian champ has cited Silva’s size as a prohibiting factor, but has stopped short of saying that he didn’t think he could beat the pound for pound king. Monday’s comments from Silva may or may not still be the champ acting coy with the media, teasing us with suggestions, denials and non-answers, but it is certainly more direct than anything he’s ever said before on the topic.

“Jon Jones is different,” Silva said. “He’s large. He’s young. But, in the fight, I see in Jon Jones, I see myself from a long time ago. He’s very smart.”

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Power Ranking: Which UFC Weight Class Is Really the Most Entertaining?


(Funny…that’s exactly how we feel about the UFC’s light-heavyweight and women’s bantamweight divisions. / Photo via TitoCouture)

By Matt Saccaro

Recently, we at CagePotato systematically took the piss out of the UFC heavyweight division.

In response to that article, our readers took to the comments section to tell us that the UFC heavyweight division wasn’t unique. The other divisions, too, were flawed and shallow, they said.

And they were right.

This prompted us to examine all of the weight classes side-by-side, essentially taking a snapshot of how these divisions stack up against one another. Are the divisions boring, fun, somewhere in between? Is it a division that’s locked down by the champ or is it a revolving door of equally-matched contenders?

To keep things concise, we’ll be using only three main criteria:

- How dominant is the champion, and how much longer can he/she remain dominant?
- Are the fans sick of that champion yet?
- How many challengers in the division are (or will soon be) a legitimate threat to the champ, and are those fighters popular enough to carry a weight class?

Then, each division will be given a score out of 5, with five being the best (a division where any number of contenders could win the title on any given day) and one being the worst (a division where the person with the belt will have the belt for another decade barring any freak circumstances).

We’ll start with the heavyweights and work our way down.

HEAVYWEIGHTS

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WAG Alert: Chael Sonnen Embarks Upon Life’s Journey With New Wife Brittany


(Photo via @SSBrittanyA, “The First Lady of the Mean Streets of West Linn, Oregon.”)

Our sincerest congratulations and best wishes go out to UFC middleweight contender Chael Sonnen, who married his longtime girlfriend Brittany Smith — aka “Miss Brittany, meeowww” — in a ceremony over the weekend, which his mom reportedly didn’t know about until it was time to get on the plane. Even though Brittany has been a public presence next to the American Gangster since 2011, we still don’t know much about the lady outside of what she shares on Twitter. So, we’ll just celebrate this moment the only way we know how: By posting some photos of her after the jump. Hell of a pull, Chael.

Previously: Gallery of the Day: MMA W.A.Gs

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Could Invicta FC Be Headed to Showtime? Short Answer: Probably


(Well, that’s *one* way to hype a marquee WMMA fight, we guess.) 

When Showtime ended their relationship with Strikeforce this past January, they left behind a massive void in the MMA world that has been tirelessly documented in the time since by…next to no one, quite honestly. Sure, we all loved Strikeforce when it wasn’t moments away from descending into utter chaos (and even when it was), but with the UFC holding an event on 1 of its 14 channels every other week and Bellator quietly putting on smaller-level shows in between, it seems as if we’ve quickly forgotten about Showtime’s once quintessential role in MMA broadcasting.

Well, it appears as if all that could change in the near future, as Showtime Sports Executive Vice President and General Manager Stephen Espinoza recently told FOX News Latino that the network was interested in a return to the MMA world and specifically, a partnership with Invicta FC. This statement did not come without a bit of hesitance, though:

The hesitation right now is really we’re investigating the market. The real question is … given the TV landscape as it stands now, the MMA landscape, is there a demand for more MMA on television? I have my doubts because there’s quite a few hours already being programmed.

(Invicta) knows how to make noise and do good-sized events on a budget. It would be interesting to see what they can do on a bigger platform. 

A move to Showtime would be the perfect move for Invicta to say the least. The promotion has rapidly gained popularity over the course of their first handful of events to the point that the Invicta 4 online stream crashed due to overcrowding.

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Nick Ring Pulls Out of August Fight With Uriah Hall, Probably After Watching That Spin-Kick Video


(“mumblegumblemurglegurgle…anyway, you do that for like 10 minutes and usually the guy cums.” / Screen-cap via FuelTV)

About a month ago, we reported that TUF 17 finalist Uriah Hall would face Canadian middleweight Nick Ring at UFC on FOX Sports 1 1: Shogun vs. Sonnen (August 17th, Boston). On Friday, we posted a video of Hall using one of his infamous spinning back-kicks to drop a training partner who had the audacity to kick him in the head. Today, we learned that Ring has withdrawn from his fight against Hall under mysterious circumstances. Coincidence?? Yeah, it’s probably a coincidence.

Though details are sketchy at this time, MMAJunkie reports that Ring has been forced out of his scheduled match against Hall, and will be replaced by Josh Samman — a fellow TUF 17 vet who was eliminated by Kelvin Gastelum in the show’s semi-finals, but returned at the TUF 17 Finale to score a second-round TKO against Kevin Casey. So it’s like Hall and Samman never left the show, and are now competing for the TUF 17 bronze medal, while Dylan Andrews sits in the corner shouting “what about meeeeeeeee?!?

The current lineup of ‘UFC on FOX Sports 1 1′ is after the jump…

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