Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

August, 2013

[VIDEO] So We Guess We Should Post This BTS Video of Arianny Celeste’s 2014 Calendar Shoot, Right?

Bad news, Potato Nation. According to our research, it has been at least 4 days since we’ve posted anything remotely spank-worthy on our site (unless Miesha Tate in jorts really does it for you). As such, our evil, robotic overlords forgiving, kind-hearted supervisors have informed us that if we want to continue enjoying Stir-Friday and Jameson-sponsored-skydiving-Tuesdays here at CP, we best get with the titties. Apparently the occasional Darrill Schoonover post just doesn’t cut it anymore.

So that brings us to the above behind-the-scenes video of Arianny Celeste’s 2014 calendar shoot. We’re not sure if anyone honestly purchases calendars anymore, but what the hell? It’ll provide a few of you with a temporary escape from your jobs that certainly suck more than ours and the rest of you with a chance to act like you totally wouldn’t hit that, so enjoy.

Five bucks out of my wallet goes to the commenter who can make the best “Who would want to be behind Arianny’s scenes?” joke or alternate version thereof.

-J. Jones

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Non-Committal Commitment of the Day: Glover Teixeira Will “Probably” Get the Winner of Jones/Gustafsson With an Impressive Win


(One of these men is on the brink of a world title shot. The other plans on penis-smacking himself in Mexico. You tell us which promotion helps build stars. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.)

Dave Chappelle once pondered what it would be like to be so famous that you could get your dick sucked and the person that sucked your dick would in turn also become famous. Someone who can probably relate to that level of power is UFC President Dana White. While he has yet to make anyone famous for giving him a hummer (besides Arianny, of course. *self five*), all White has to do is merely allude to a newsworthy piece of information and every MMA blog in the world jumps on it like it’s the word of God. I’m not the only one who sees the similarities there, right? Also, does anyone else see these fuckin’ iguanas on my coffee table?

Take this recent tidbit, for instance, which UFC executive Marshall Zelaznik dropped during the UFC 163 post-fight press conference:

Dana [White] and Joe [Silva] have confirmed, with a strong victory by Glover, then he probably gets the winner of the Jon Jones fight. Glover’s got an opportunity to go for that belt with a big win, so we’re expecting big things in Belo Horizonte. 

As you would expect, MMA blogs across the board are jumping all over this statement and claiming that “a title shot is now on the line” for Glover Teixeira. Those of us who are at all familiar with Dana White, however, know that when he throws around the wordsprobably” and the phrase “with a strong victory,” he means “unless a more lucrative option becomes available.”

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CagePotato PSA: A Change Is Gonna Come…

Got a couple things to share with you today, Potatoheads…

- We know that CagePotato’s commenting system sucks at the moment. It’s hard to log into, it’s buggy, and it’s been completely overrun by spammers. That’s why we’ll be switching to a Facebook-login system in the near future, which will be much easier to use, and will hopefully inspire a lot more of you to stop lurking and start leaving some comments on our daily posts.

- Speaking of “overrun by spammers,” it’s time to bid adieu to the CagePotato forums. They’ve actually become dangerous from a security standpoint, and we simply don’t have the resources to update/overhaul/monitor them so that they provide a positive experience for their few remaining users. In the immediate future, they’ll still be accessible at forums.cagepotato.com, but pretty soon, they’ll be gone. They had a good run, but it’s over.

As with any change to the environment of a website you’ve been visiting for months, or even years, now is the time to throw yourself out of a window and vow that you’ll never come here again. I know that some of these changes will negatively affect some of you — the loss of your beloved usernames, no more forums or handbag spam — but this is all being done to benefit of the majority of our readers, who will hopefully have a smoother experience on our site when this is all said and done. And after that, some upgrades to our mobile site will even make browsing CagePotato on your phone less aggravating. So trust us, take our hands, and together we will march forward into a promising future. Thanks, as always, for your support.

-BG

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Florida Blocks MMA Bout Between Fighters With Down Syndrome and Cerebral Palsy


(Photo via Facebook.com/Garret.Holeve)

Back in March, we passed along the inspirational/controversial story of Garrett Holeve, a young man with Down syndrome who trains and competes in mixed martial arts. Last month, Holeve was booked to fight David Steffan, a former Special Olympian in golf who suffers from mild cerebral palsy, and who has also worked hard to transition into combat sports. The “full speed” MMA fight was supposed to go down at a King of the Casino event at the Seminole Casino in Immokalee, Florida, on Saturday. Unfortunately, it was stopped at virtually the last minute. As WINK News reports (via BloodyElbow):

It was a fight that was supposed to be a first of its kind. One both Garrett Holeve, 23, and David Steffan, 28, had been dreaming of, but five minutes before the first punch, the state presented the promoter with a cease and desist letter.

“He cried. It genuinely upset him,” says Mitch Holeve, Garrett’s father. “He’s worked eight weeks in a training camp, training four and a half hours a day for eight weeks getting mentally and physically prepared to do this.”

Garrett has Downs syndrome and his opponent David has cerebral palsy. The fight was supposed to happen because the match was being held on tribal land, but a letter from the DBPR says the scheduled bout between the two amateur fighters is unsanctioned and against Florida Law.

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Recapping the Most Notable/Embarrassing Moments From the ‘Rampage vs. Tito’ Press Conference


(Our favorite moment? The six seconds of lead-in music that was apparently played on a phonograph. Bellator truly spared no expense.) 

Ugh.

We don’t mean to keep hating on Bellator’s Rampage Jackson/Tito Ortiz/MMA/TNA clusterfuck, but literally everything about this matchup has been equal parts humiliating and downright laughable from the get-go. A botched head fake to cap off a horrendously overdramatized staredown? Check. Straight up goofy forays into the world of pro wrasslin’? Oh, BellaTNAor’s got that in spades.

Which brings us to today’s press conference, an hour-long suckfest in which Bjorn Rebney dutifully tried to convince us that he was both a tried and true MMA fan and honestly excited about the prospect of watching the two half-asleep gentlemen sitting on either side of him fight in the near future. He tried, dammit.

Being that your time is way too valuable to spend an hour of it watching Rebney stroke two former champions egos to full completion while they both push their newfound love of the sport on us like a Ronco Rotisserie, we’ve recapped some most notable moments from yesterday’s press conference after the jump.

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WSOF Check-In: Lightweight Tournament Announced, Newell & Spong Prepare for Fights This Saturday


(Learn more about lightweight rising star Nick Newell and the challenges he’s overcome | Video via MMA World Series Youtube page)

We’ve been following lightweight prospect Nick Newell’s unlikely and inspiring career for some time now here at CagePotato, and this Saturday he makes his next big move at the World Series of Fighting 4 event in Ontario, California. Newell will face TUF veteran Keon Caldwell.

Even though Newell hasn’t yet won his WSOF debut, the promotion announced that a win over Caldwell would earn Newell a spot in its upcoming lightweight tournament, which will crown the promotion’s inaugural 155-pound champion. If Newell does indeed enter that tournament, he’ll have a chance to prove once and for all that he’s truly a UFC-caliber fighter.

Why, you ask? Well, simply because the tournament is stacked with top international lightweights including a number of UFC veterans. Dan Lauzon will be in the tournament, as will the winner of an excellent WSOF 4 match up between Tyson Griffin and Gesias Calvacante.

Of course, all this doesn’t sit so well with Keon Caldwell’s camp, who tell MMA Junkie that they are worried of unfair treatment from the WSOF. While Newell has been publicly guaranteed a spot in the lightweight tournament if he’s victorious this weekend, Caldwell has been given no such offer. (“I just think they’re on the Nick Newell hype train,” said Caldwell’s trainer Richard Cox.)

Also fighting this Saturday will be kickboxing star Tyrone Spong, who will be headlining WSOF 4 against California-bred knockout artist Angel DeAnda. It will be Spong’s second World Series of Fighting appearance following his beat-down of Travis Bartlett in November. You can check out a lil’ video of Spong hitting people and acting cocky after the jump. Above, you can enjoy a mini documentary show on Newell’s life that takes you inside his camp, family, and home.

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Sara McMann Out of UFC Fight Night 27 Due to Injury


(Photo via MMAFighting.com)

Due to an undisclosed injury, 7-0 bantamweight Sara McMann has been forced to withdraw from her upcoming match against former Strikeforce champ Sarah Kaufman, which was slated for UFC Fight Night 27: Condit vs. Kampmann 2, August 28th in Indianapolis. MMAJunkie reported the news yesterday, and McMann’s agent confirmed it, stating that the former Olympic silver medalist “will be back in the cage soon.”

It would have been the second UFC appearance for McMann, who scored a first-round TKO against German striker Sheila Gaff at UFC 159. The UFC is currently looking for a replacement opponent for Kaufman. Our suggestion: Leslie Smith, who lost a somewhat controversial split-decision to Kaufman in a three-round war at Invicta FC 5. Time for a rematch? Come on Joe Silva, we know you’re reading this.

UFC Fight Night 27 (f.k.a. UFC on FOX Sports 1: 2) has previously lost Paulo Thiago and Derrick Lewis to injuries. The current lineup is after the jump…

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Anderson Silva Is Back on The Troll Train, Says He’ll Include Chuck Norris In Training Camp

In the moments and even days following his stunning loss to Chris Weidman last month, fans of long-time UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva wondered if perhaps the Spider we had all come to know and love might never return. Silva initially balked at a rematch with Weidman, after all, and said that he didn’t want any more title fights.

As we all know by now, Silva reconsidered that decision and will indeed face Weidman for a second time this December. Still, was Silva burned out at 38 years of age? Had he been pressured into accepting the rematch with Weidman? Did he even have the desire to be Anderson Silva anymore?

Perhaps the clearest indication that Silva is back to his old, weird self came recently during a Brazilian radio interview. ”I had a nightmare with Weidman, but I don’t fear him,” Silva said.

“He is determined, but has two arms and two legs just like me. Now I’ll bring Chuck Norris into my training camp]. I’ll bring both, Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal.”

There you have it, nation. Anderson Silva, super troll, has always preceded Anderson the devastating fighter. Here, in coded language, is Anderson Silva telling all his fans throughout the world, “I am once more ready to fuck with you, mentally, the way I have always fucked with you.”

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[VIDEO] The Latest ‘TUF: Rousey vs. Tate’ Preview Features Guy-on-Girl Action, Chicken Wing Poses, Paint Fights (?)

You know, for being a fairly straightforward ad that clocks in at just over 30 seconds, the latest TUF: Rousey vs. Tate preview offers more than its fair share of interesting moments and head-scratching editorial choices. A few highlights…

00:00 - The preview hasn’t even started yet and already we feel like we’re trapped in one of those Technicolor iPod commercials.
00:04 - Wait…were those gloves covered in yellow paint?
00:08 - Nothing says “Intimidating” quite like MORE YELLOW PAINT.
00:12 - My God, the overediting. Who directed this clip, Michael Bay on PCP?
00:17 - Surely this season will play host to the greatest pool hijinks since Caddyshack.
00:20 - Ronda Rousey, rocking what’s become known as “The Chicken Wing” pose or “The Sassy Arm Triangle of Insecurity.” In any case, we’d appreciate it if women never posed like this again for the rest of eternity.
00:21 - Tate, rocking the cross-armed, no nonsense stance. Point Tate, although we would have preferred she went full on B-Boy style.
00:22 - “Mommy, I think these Hulk Hands are knockoffs. They keep melting whenever I play with them outside.”

The top Youtube comment says it all, really:

-J. Jones

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Jon Jones Tired of Talking About Daniel Cormier, Cormier Not Tired of Verbally Owning Jones


(“Short? No cardio? That’s not what your mother said last night.” / Photo via Getty Images)

Over the course of his dominant UFC career, Jon Jones had proven at least two things — he is an amazing fighter, and it isn’t that hard to get under his skin. Although, as Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Rashad Evans can attest to, simply making Jones feel uncomfortable and irritable doesn’t make much of a difference when it’s time to actually fight him.

Jones is making his next light-heavyweight title defense against Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165 in September, but the Swede isn’t the guy “Bones” is tired of talking about. That would be heavyweight contender and two-time Olympian Daniel Cormier.

Cormier faces Roy Nelson next in a winner-eats-town bout at UFC 166, but after that, the undersized heavyweight says that he is moving down to Jones’s division and that he plans to get an immediate title shot once he does. No less than UFC President Dana White has all but said the same.

This, combined with the near-constant battle of tweets and words between DC and JJ has apparently tried Jones’s patience a bit too much. Recently, while on the UFC’s “World Tour,” the 205-pound kingpin was asked, for what has to feel like the millionth time, about Cormier challenging him. Jones got downright catty with his response.

Trying out his best high school girl insults, Jones said that Cormier is short, fat, and that he isn’t even popular. “I hate answering questions about him,” Jones said of Cormier.

“I don’t think he wants to work hard. I think he just wants to be famous. You can see it in his physique…He has, like, 20,000 Twitter followers. He has short reach, bad cardio [and] he looked terrible in his last fight. It’s like, I’m not worried about him at all.”

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