Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

August, 2013

[VIDEO] Countdown to UFC 163

Are you ready for a behind the scenes look at recent the recent fights and training camps of Jose Aldo, The Korean Zombie (No, he does not have a real name any longer), Phil Davis and Lyoto Machida, all narrated by a gravely but comforting voice? I sure as heck am!

Watch the full Countdown to UFC 163 video above to hear UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo talk about the thrill of fighting in his home country of Brazil, hear Mr. Zombie talk about jet lag and acculturation, see video of NCAA Division I Wrestling Champion Phil Davis get pinned in his first ever match and watch, unable to look away, former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida drink liter after sudsy liter of his own urine.

- Elias Cepeda

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Friday Link Dump: Tito Ortiz Does the Pro-Wrestling Crossover Thing, Maia vs. Shields on Deck, Ronda Rousey Scolds a Jackass Fan + More


(Now that is one athletic, explosive white man. Props: OfficialGSP via Reddit_MMA)

Tito Ortiz Repeats Surprise Entrance in Pro Wrestling; Fans Not Impressed (MMAFighting)

Chael Sonnen’s TRT Exemption Not a Done Deal in Massachusetts (BleacherReport)

Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields Targeted For Fall Card (FightDay)

Association of Boxing Commissions Addresses Knees to Self-Grounded Fighters (Sherdog)

Video: Ronda Rousey Blasts Fan for Asking Inappropriate Sexually-Charged Question (MMAMania)

UFC 163′s Ian McCall Offers Advice to ‘Dork’ Johnson: ‘Be Cooler’ (MMAJunkie)

Tim Kennedy Wants Wanderlei, ‘Wasn’t Thrilled’ About Fighting Belfort in Brazil (BloodyElbow)

The Most Polite Sucker-Punch of All Time (Break)

Diva AJ Lee’s Body Is Slammin’ (MadeMan)

The Best Sports GIFs of July 2013 (Complex)

An Academic Analysis of 7 Iconic Movie Poop Scenes (FilmDrunk)

The Women Available to Alpha, Beta & Omega Males: Where Do You Fit In? (DoubleViking)

Awesome Video: Firefighter Revives Kitten (EgoTV)

Dez Bryant Suing Girl Who Says He’s Into Strap Ons And Getting Peed On (TerezOwens)

Trailer: Elijah Wood Stabs a Bunch of Women in ‘Maniac’ (ReposDelight)

25 Photos of Girls Being Jealous Of Other Girls (WorldWideInterweb)

Why Pot Turns You Into a Slacker (MensFitness)

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Five Hidden Storylines For UFC 163: Aldo vs. Korean Zombie

By Adam Martin

There doesn’t seem to be much buzz about UFC 163, but when you look at it deeper, it’s actually a fairly intriguing card with a number of hidden storylines buried amidst all the injuries and lineup-changes. Here are five reasons why what happens at UFC 163 actually matters.

Aldo vs. Jung: A Fight That May Change The Face Of Not One, But Two Divisions

Not many people are talking about this, but UFC 163’s main event featherweight title fight between champion Jose Aldo and challenger Chan Sung Jung is one of the rare fights that could have an immediate impact on multiple weight classes.

If Aldo wins, he’ll be on a 16-fight win streak, and it’s quite possible that he’ll make the decision to move up to 155 pounds, something that he has hinted at doing for a long time. Now 26 years old, Aldo is finding it harder to make the weight cut down to 145 pounds, and if he can beat Jung in spectacular fashion this weekend, he might tell the UFC he wants to make a run at lightweight.

If he does go to 155, expect Aldo to receive an immediate title shot, which would mean TJ Grant would be out on the sidelines yet again as Aldo would most certainly face the winner of the UFC 164 main event between Benson Henderson and Anthony Pettis later this month.

Of course, it’s possible that Aldo stays at 145 and keeps defending his belt against new challengers such as Ricardo Lamas, but I honestly think a move to 155 isn’t as far away as some think it is.

And if Jung shocks the world this weekend and becomes the man to end Aldo’s streak? Well, Aldo could still move up to 155, or he could stay at 145 and possibly get an immediate rematch since he’s been such a dominant champ at the weight. It’s really his call.

At the end of the day Aldo is going to have some big decisions to make after UFC 163, and they’re decisions that the whole MMA world is going to be interested in. Now, let’s wait and see what happens.

Does The Machida vs. Davis Winner Earn A Title Shot?

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Catch the ‘UFC 163: Aldo vs. Korean Zombie’ Weigh-Ins Right Here Starting at 3 p.m. EST! [UPDATED w/RESULTS]

You gotta love how the UFC continues to promote Chan Sung Jung’s awesome nickname above his actual name for every event he headlines, to the point that the casual fan probably couldn’t tell you who Jung was without first being informed that he was in fact “The Korean Zombie.” Who knows, maybe the UFC is hoping to reel in some last second buys from drunk shut-ins who thought they were ordering a Syfy movie On Demand — it wouldn’t be the first time that the two entities combined forces. If only Wanderlei Silva was a featherweight, we would all be talking about how Axe Murderer vs. Korean Zombie made DinoCroc vs. Supergator look like Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus* around the water cooler on Monday.

I apparently cannot stop rambling today, so let’s wrap things up here. Starting at 3 p.m. EST, the weigh-ins for UFC 163 will be going down from the HSBC arena. We will be hosting a viewing party of said weigh-ins, complete with popcorn (BLAST-O-BUTTER, obvs.), footy pajamas and your mom. Will Jose Aldo triumphantly sprint into the crowd after making weight? Will Phil Davis or Lyoto Machida do anything to convince us that their fight won’t suck? Tune in and find out!

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[VIDEO] Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate Go Head-to-Head on SportsCenter, Zero Birds Flipped

After witnessing the non-fight that was Jake Ellenberger vs. Rory MacDonald at UFC on FOX 8, Dana White vehemently declared that “fights with trash talk always suck.” It was an odd thing to hear coming from a fight promoter, especially one who made enough money off the Ken Shamrock vs. Tito Ortiz trilogy alone to purchase a chalet bungalow overlooking the finest waterfalls in all of Elysium (TOPICAL!). Also, Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen was a thing that happened.

In any case, let’s hope that the second incarnation of Ronda Rousey vs. Miesha Tate — which is being billed as the biggest rivalry in ALL of MMA Rrrrrrrr *catfight sounds* Snap into a Slim Jim oh yeah! — lives up to the additional pressure it is stacking on the already weighed-down shoulders of WMMA. In the past few days, the champ has flipped off Tate during a staredown, labeled her an Anti-Armenian and allegedly threatened to “cram an entire Lincoln Logs set up her boyfriend’s asspussy.” Allegedly. Anything less than an in-ring decapitation or double KO will be an utter disappointment at this point and the show hasn’t even started yet.

Thankfully, the two were able to keep it together during a recent face-to-face appearance on SportsCenter to hype their upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter. You’d think that these two have said all they can say about each other, yet Rousey is still finding new reasons to dislike Tate. Mainly, that smug look of (sexy) disinterest she is always wearing. If DW’s statements about how batshit crazy the both of them are this season have any truth to them, we should expect this conversation to play out several times over the course of TUF 18. 

-J. Jones

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Hot Potato: 15 Photos of Brazilian Model Jhenny Andrade, UFC 163′s Guest Ring Girl


(Click for larger version. Full gallery is after the jump.)

The tireless babe-watchers at MMAJunkie are reporting that Brazilian model Jhenny Andrade has been hired as a ring girl for UFC 163: Aldo vs. Korean Zombie, this Saturday in Rio. As Junkie tells it:

Andrade has previously done some television work in Brazil and briefly studied journalism before electing to focus on her modeling career. She lists UFC 163 headliner Jose Aldo as her favorite UFC fighter.

He seems very nice and personable — very down to Earth,” Andrade said. “He was also the first fighter I ever saw in action, and he fights with so much passion.”

The 25-year-old Sao Paulo native will work the round-cards alongside Camila Oliveira. Check out more lovely Jhenny Andrade photos in the gallery below, and let us know what you think!

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MMA Alternate History: What if Gina Carano Beat Cris Cyborg in 2009?


(Photo via MMAWeekly)

By Matt Saccaro

There are points in MMA history that if one punch is ducked, one kick is thrown, one submission is secured, the entire fate of the sport changes.

Numerous fights hold the distinction of being important enough that history hung in the balance while the combatants tried to incapacitate one another, but one that doesn’t get much attention in the discussion of Griffin/Bonnar-level important fights is Gina Carano vs. Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos (or now Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino. Whatever, we’re just gonna call her Cyborg). Yeah, most people recognize its importance as the first BIG fight in WMMA history, but their appreciation for it doesn’t extend past that. And, historically, it shouldn’t. The fight was a big deal but it lead to nothing good. It sent the most recognized fighter in WMMA away from the sport forever. Ronda Rousey, Miesha Tate, and others had to pick up the mantle that Gina Carano ran away from.

But, for a moment, let us pretend that the result of Carano vs. Cyborg was reversed. That’s what the second installment of CagePotato’s Alternate History series is based on: The fallout of Gina Carano hypothetically defeating Cyborg in Strikeforce.

What Would’ve Happened if Gina Carano Defeated Cyborg in 2009?

Before we get into counterfactuals, let’s briefly discuss what happened historically.

EliteXC (gee it fields weird to type that name again) had a burgeoning women’s division, no doubt to say “Hey, we have something the UFC doesn’t” and to draw attention away from the fact that their male roster wasn’t as loaded as the UFC’s. Not an issue though, because the women were awesome. Two specific ones were more awesome than most: Carano and Cyborg.

Carano was the most marketable female fighter at the time because she’s fucking gorgeous — and not just “fighter” hot, but seriously attractive. She could fight pretty damn well, too. Pushing Carano was therefore a no-brainer.

Cyborg isn’t conventionally attractive but she’s gifted at inflicting violence. Legitimate talent combined with an affinity for smashing fighters in a crowd-pleasing way is easy to promote.

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UFC Man-Cave Guy vs. Diaz Brother Fight-Barn Guy: Who’s More Dangerously Obsessed?


(Props: UFCORIGINALFAN via The UG)

So you think you’re a die-hard MMA fan, just because you buy most of the UFC pay-per-views and because you have a few fruity-ass Georges St. Pierre trading cards in your sock drawer? Let me show you what real obsession is, bro.

A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)

First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…

- A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.

- A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.

- An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.

- The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.

- An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.

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UFC 163: The New Guys (And Girls!)


(Amanda Nunes: Like Michael Chandler if he didn’t spend upwards of 30 seconds playing pattycake with his opponents.)

It’s been awhile since we’ve familiarized you guys (and ourselves) with the hard-working underlings of an upcoming UFC card, but with so many foreign faces throwing down at UFC 163 this weekend, we decided to dust off an old feature for the sake of education. Don’t worry, this article will contain more knockout videos and fart jokes than it will actual information, as per the CagePotato decree.

Amanda “Lioness” Nunes
Experience: 7-3, with notable victories over Julia Budd (see above), Vanessa Porto, and Ediane Gomes. Despite her somewhat modest record, Nunes carries a wealth of experience fighting in top-level promotions such as Strikeforce and Invicta, where she went 2-2. We also hear that her farts smell like Febreeze. Specifically Mediterranean Lavender, which is odd considering she’s Brazilian and all.
Will be facing: Sheila “The German Tank” Gaff (10-5, 0-1 UFC)
Lowdown: Even having dropped two of her last three, the hard-hitting Nunes is arguably in a better position than her opponent, who is facing a quick turnaround after being dominated by Sara McMann in her own UFC debut at UFC 159. In a perfect world, we will see these two strikers throw caution to the wind and go all Merrill Hess on each another until one of them falls down. Actually, that’s the most likely scenario — three cheers for insanely high expectations based on preconceived notions of inequality!

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 163: Aldo vs. Korean Zombie’ Edition

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

This Saturday night, Zuffa heads to Rio de Janeiro — home of beautiful beaches and even more beautiful beetches (waka waka!) – where a seemingly unstoppable champion plans to defend his featherweight strap against a zombie. Come on, that’s gotta be worth sixty bucks. This may be a PPV light on star power, but we all know what happened the last time a card held in Brazil without much star power turned out.

And with each pay-per-view comes the best damn gambling advice you will find on the Internet (YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH), so join us as we break down some of the undercard as well as all of the main card bouts for UFC 163. All odds courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Ian McCall (-380) vs. Iliarde Santos (+315)

In lieu of Demetrious Johnson’s performance last week, -400 for Ian McCall to beat Santos is parlay bound. Santos had trouble getting out of the gate in his UFC debut and will surely put up a stronger performance, but “Uncle Creepy” has fought 6 rounds (and even won a few!) with the champion in the division. There is always a possibility of the hometown judging playing the culprit or Ian having a mental breakdown whilst reflecting on his life as of late, but if McCall loses here, it will almost be worth losing the bet to see what happens next with him. McCall to win.

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