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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

August, 2013

[VIDEO] Mike Tyson Says He’s “On the Verge of Dying” Because He’s a “Vicious Alcoholic”

Mike Tyson’s latest press conference may not have inspired a lot of faith in his abilities as a boxing promoter, but this two minute clip from it might be the most touching moment in the outspoken and oft controversial boxing great’s long career.

As was the case with Tyson’s first conference as a promoter, the above clip is equal parts sincerity, remorse and honest-to-God hope. Treating the media crew present at The Turning Stone Casino as if they were his personal therapists, Tyson nearly broke down describing his ongoing battle with drugs and alcohol, an admission that seemed to shock even him:

I’m a bad guy sometimes. I did a lot of bad things, and I want to be forgiven. So in order for me to be forgiven, I hope they can forgive me. I wanna change my life, I wanna live a different life now. I wanna live my sober life. I don’t wanna die. I’m on the verge of dying, because I’m a vicious alcoholic.

I haven’t drank or took drugs in six days, and for me that’s a miracle. I’ve been lying to everybody else that think I was sober, but I’m not. This is my sixth day. I’m never gonna use again. 

Tyson’s past troubles — both professionally and personally — have been documented ad nauseum, but the former champion has made somewhat of a turnaround in the public eye as of late. Once the most reviled figure in boxing, Iron Mike has slowly rebuilt his reputation as one of the most genuinely heartfelt individuals in the combat sports community. We honestly hope that his newfound sobriety will ensure that he hangs around for as long as humanely possible, because we’ll be damned if he isn’t an interesting person to listen to (you know what we mean, you shallow sonsabitches).

In case you were wondering what exactly Tyson was referring to when discussing his beef with Teddy Atlas, join us after the jump for the full scoop.

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Legacy FC Signs Olympic Gold Medalist and Undefeated MMA Fighter Henry Cejudo, Debut Set for October


(We still liked it better when Brandi Chastain did it. Photo via FOX News.) 

The mixed martial arts career of Henry Cejudo is off to a promising start, to say the least. Already holding the honor of being the youngest American wrestler to ever take gold in the Olympics, Cejudo made the switch to MMA last March and has already reeled off four first round finishes in the time since. And while his opponents haven’t exactly been the caliber of, say, Ronda Rousey’s first few, comparisons between the two are being made nonetheless.

And now, it appears the bantamweight prospect will be thrust back into the limelight once again (albeit a much dimmer one), as word broke yesterday that the Olympian has signed with well known Texas-based promotion Legacy FC. In addition, Cejudo is primed to make his debut on Oct. 11 against 4-1 Ryan “Riptide” Hollis at the Allen Event Center in Allen, Texas. The event will air live on AXS TV.

The four time high school state wrestling champion spoke elatedly with MMAJunkie:

It was very important to me to join a professional organization that will allow me the opportunity to continue to grow as an MMA athlete. It was equally important for me to partner with an organization that has an established track record of helping fighters grow into world-class athletes and champions. I want to fight for a credible organization and face high-caliber opponents. Legacy is that organization and has made that commitment to me.

After the jump: Cejudo’s aforementioned victory over Matsunaga in the Beijing games, a brief glimpse at Cejudo’s MMA skills via some Spanish news site and a video of Hollis’ most recent performance.

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Knockout of the Day: A Capoeira Cartwheel Kick KO, Just Two Weeks After the Last One


(Props: Apollo Reed via MiddleEasy)

It’s safe to say that the capoeira-style cartwheel kick has officially entered mainstream consciousness in the MMA fight game. At first, the technique only appeared in the arsenals of capoeira die-hards and crazy-ass white-people. Now, we’ve got a Morrocan welterweight rookie named Anas Siraj Mounir landing it at a UK event on Saturday, just two weeks after hot featherweight prospect Julio Cesar Neves stuck the move in Brazil. So if you’re an MMA fighter and you were thinking about trying a cartwheel kick in a fight, do it now, before everybody starts preparing for it. I’ve already said too much.

After the jump: A different angle of the kick. You’ll have to provide your own audio.

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Shill ‘Em All, Part 2: The MMA Media’s Race to the Bottom


(The Baldfather advertises yet another media outlet that won’t be lobbing any critical coverage his way. / Photo via Getty)

By Brian J. D’Souza

Ideally, the relationship between professional sports organizations like the UFC and media members should be about interdependence, where both parties rely equally upon each other. In practice, many MMA media members and outlets often exist as the clingy, powerless co-dependent partners that put the needs of the UFC before the need for factual and accurate sports journalism.

Last week, a Twitter war-of-words erupted between Yahoo! Sports reporter Kevin Iole and UFC president Dana White over whether the UFC was hiding TRT-user Vitor Belfort in Brazil to avoid the scrutiny of an American athletic commission.


(Screencap via Reddit_MMA)

It’s understandable why White feels threatened by media scrutiny; Iole certainly hasn’t pulled any punches regarding the lack of consequences for using performance enhancers in boxing and MMA. While the New York Yankees and Major League Baseball could survive for 211 games without Alex Rodriguez (or the other disgraced players) in the wake of the Biogenesis scandal, the already watered-down cards promoted by the UFC would lose even more star power if known TRT-users (Vitor Belfort, Dan Henderson, Chael Sonnen, Frank Mir — and counting) were culled from the promotion.

MMA fans on MixedMartialArts.com’s UG forum observed that Kevin Iole could be denied media credentials for his failure to toe the UFC’s company line. This is not an empty threat, as many different outlets and individuals including ESPN.com’s Josh Gross, SI.com’s Loretta Hunt, CagePotato.com and Deadspin.com are all barred from press row at UFC events.

(click screen-caps to enlarge)


The public needs to grasp the reality that being an MMA reporter isn’t just about having a nice buffet and a comped ticket at a fight card. It’s about access to prominent fighters, coaches, managers and promoters to get the inside scoop and flesh out stories not reported elsewhere. When newly-crowned UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman visited ESPN headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut, Josh Gross was denied an opportunity to interview Weidman. Banned media members may also miss out on a PR mailing list where media outlets learn about breaking UFC news, conference calls that allow media to ask questions to the headliners of major pay-per-view shows, and other events that media can be invited to.

The fear of losing those perks remains a potent sanction by the UFC in ensuring media compliance. I reference Exhibit A: an e-mail written by Bleacher Report staffer Jeremy Botter (leaked by Deadspin.com) that outlined several ways for MMA writers to avoid conflict with the UFC, including the following points:

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Demian Maia Will Face Jake Shields in Own ‘Back Yard’


(Photo by Donald Miralle/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)

Well, this is kinda cool. In today’s MMA career symmetry news, MMA Fighting speaks with UFC welterweight contender Demian Maia about returning to the arena where he first made a name for himself in MMA.

“Maia became famous in the MMA world on Oct. 7, 2006, when he dominated three opponents in one night to win the Super Challenge middleweight tournament. The event took place at Jose Correa Gymnasium, the same arena that will host UFN 29,” where Maia will fight Jake Shields, they report.

The Super Challenge middleweight tournament had names like Gustavo Machado, Fabio Nascimento, Alexandre Ferreira, Katel Kubis and Leonardo Nascimento involved. In the end, the underdog prevailed for the title.

“I thought ‘okay, let’s see what happens,’” said Maia. “Paulo Vasconcelos was the promoter and he invited me to fight. I said ‘I don’t know, give me a submission or jiu-jitsu fight, but he couldn’t find an opponent to fight me. Josuel Distak, who was one of my coaches at that time, said I’d win the tournament, so I basically was thrown in there by them.”

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Jason ‘Mayhem’ Miller Arrested Again on Felony Domestic Violence Charge, Is Currently Being Held on Bond


(We hope you find the strength to leave him, Noodles. / Image via ennvy)

For the third time since his retirement in May 2012, Jason “Mayhem” Miller has been arrested. According to records, the Orange County Sheriff’s Department arrested Miller on Thursday and the ex-fighter is being held on a $50,000 bond.

Miller’s next court appearance is scheduled for Monday. According to Bloody Elbow, “Mayhem” has been charged with corporal injury of a spouse or domestic partner which is a felony. Less than two weeks ago, on August 11th, Miller was also arrested on domestic violence charges and was released after posting bond.

In 2012, shortly after his retirement, Miller was arrested for allegedly breaking into a California church. Before that, “Mayhem” was arrested in 2011 after a fight with his sister.

We’re not really sure what to say at this point, ‘Taters. For years, it appeared as if Miller was simply having a good time, fighting hard and playing up the more silly parts of his personality. But now it’s evident that he is having problems keeping himself out of bad situations, almost all of them involving alleged violence against others.

We’ll keep you posted with updates as they occur.

- Elias Cepeda

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Ranking the Newest Additions to the UFC ‘Fight for the Troops 3′ Card, By My Interest Level


(This photo of Ronny Markes was included to show Paulo Filho in happier times, and the shorts he bought at the Walmart across the street from this event when he realized he left his gym bag at home.)

Over the past twenty-four hours, ‘Fight for the Troops 3′ has seen several bouts added to a card that will be headlined by the middleweight debut of Lyoto Machida. Some of these fights are worth getting excited about (such as the Jorge Masvidal vs. Rustam Khabilov bout), while others, well, the Facebook preliminary card needs something, I guess. The following bouts are also set for the event, loosely arranged in order of how interesting they are on paper.

Nik Lentz vs. Dennis Bermudez – Lentz has been on a tear since dropping to featherweight, having won all three of his fights in the weight class. I guess I should also point out that he’s currently the #8 ranked featherweight in the UFC, in case it matters to anyone reading this. Bermudez, meanwhile, has won four in a row since being armbarred by Diego Brandao during the TUF 14 Finale – including a Fight of the Year candidate and a Submission of the Night earner at UFC 150.

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[VIDEO] Wanderlei Silva Responds to Chael Sonnen


(Video via WandFightTeam Youtube)

It doesn’t look like Wanderlei Silva is interested in retiring just yet. The former Pride champion and perennial bridesmaid Chael Sonnen are eager to face one another but UFC President Dana White recently seemed to put the kibosh on the match up because he didn’t want to make the fight a pay per view bout and give Silva percentages of the buy rates – something often done for big stars.

“[Silva] said he won’t fight [Sonnen] unless he gets PPV [points] so I guess he’s gonna retire,” White told MMA Fighting.

You can see what we think about that nonsense here, and in the video above you can see, hear and feel what Wand himself thinks. In the video, we get the Wanderlei standard lines – that Sonnen is disrespectful, a less accomplished fighter than champions like himself, Anderson Silva and Shogun Rua, and that he cowardly says things on twitter and in front of cameras that he wouldn’t dare say to someone’s face. You know, well established facts about Chael P. Sonnen.

However, in the video we get all those undoubtedly sincerely-felt expressions from Silva in a seemingly forced and corny presentation. There’s a spot light, horribly bland stock metal guitar music and Silva telling fans to let Dana White know they want to see the fight. Clearly, this is Silva’s way of proving that there is interest in the bout and that White should reconsider giving him back-end money for a potential Sonnen vs. Silva pay per view main event.

Listen, Wanderlei has accomplished more in MMA than Sonnen ever has or likely will, has legions of fans for the way he conducts himself in and out of the ring and already called Sonnen out in the only way that matters – face to face. He’s also taken ungodly amounts of damage throughout his career and should have retired for his health half a decade ago.

There is no need for Wanderlei to fight Sonnen – who still appears in his prime and has avoided excessive damage with a career filled with screaming and tapping out – especially because he has a chance to go out on a win. Silva’s last fight was a brutal affair where he stopped and retired Brian Stann in what is the front-runner for nastiest fight of 2013.

But Silva is the master of his own fate and makes clear above that he wants to fight Sonnen just as much as Sonnen wants to fight him. Some of our favorite Silva quotes from the video after the jump:

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Vinny Magalhaes Was Just Kidding About Retirement, Will Fight Jeff Monson in November


(“A humiliating 14-second knockout loss? Nah…I definitely think I’d remember something like that.” / Photo via MMAFighting)

In case you’ve made the mistake of following the strange things Jiu Jitsu world champion and TUF finalist Vinny Magalhaes has said over the course of his career, here’s his latest verbal turn: He’s not retiring, and will fight this fall.

In the past, Vinny challenged Phil Davis and called him a relatively easy fight before backing out of the very matchup he proposed when it was offered to him, and eventually losing to Davis at UFC 159. (For the record, Vinny also predicted that Chael Sonnen was going to submit Jon Jones on that card.)

Following the Davis fight, the Brazilian was matched up with Australian veteran Anthony Perosh at UFC 163 in Brazil. Vinny said that the 41-year-old Perosh “sucks” despite the fact that “The Hippo” had three times as many UFC wins as Magalhaes had at the time. Vinny said that if he were to lose to the Aussie, he should be cut.

Well, he lost. Really fast and really easily. Then, Vinny said he would retire from the sport if he were cut by the UFC. Vinny was cut by the UFC and the world waited for the 29-year-old to keep his word and retire. Well, that’s not happening either, and so, another CagePotato ban has been shamefully defied.

“I never really thought of retiring,” Vinny told MMA Fighting recently. “I made those comments within twenty four hours after I had lost a fight, so I was still a little frustrated, and I was being too emotional with my responses. That’s why I haven’t said a thing since. I needed to clear my mind before starting to speak about my next moves.”

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Friday Link Dump: Update on Donald Cerrone’s ‘Boat Rage’, Palhares Gets First Welterweight Opponent, 35 Fun Facts About Kobe Bryant + More


(New “Possibilities” commercial from Nike. Jon Jones shows up at 0:43)

UFC: Donald Cerrone Cooperating With Authorities on Alleged Boating Incident (MMAJunkie)

Bjorn Rebney: ‘Tito Ortiz and Rampage Are 2 of the 4 Faces on MMA Mt. Rushmore’ (BleacherReport)

Frighteningly Unsafe Underground Combat League Still Plugging Along (BloodyElbow)

Rousimar Palhares Cuts to Welterweight, Meets Mike Pierce at UFC Fight Night 29 (Sherdog)

Ratings Report: UFC 163 and UFC 161′s Low PPV Numbers Are Just Latest Indicator of Trend (MMAFighting)

*swoon* (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Free Fight: Martin Kampmann vs. Jake Ellenberger (YouTube.com/UFC)

The Bella Twins Are Total Divas (MadeMan)

35 Things You Didn’t Know About Kobe Bryant (Complex)

Bob Harper: Diet Trumps Exercise (Men’s Fitness)

Bizarre Crimes You Won’t Believe Actually Happened (DoubleViking)

What to Do When Someone Is Treating You Like an Asshole (EgoTV)

15 Of The Funniest Reactions To Ben Affleck As Batman (Break)

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