stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

September, 2013

And Now He’s Fired: Ryan Couture Released From the UFC Following Back-to-Back Losses [UPDATEish]


(Here we are, just a couple of wild and crazy guys!) 

After collecting an impressive 6-1 streak in Strikeforce, Hyan Couture (son of “Handy”) was among the faces to make the transition to the UFC when the promotion was bought out by Zuffa earlier this year*. Unfortunately, it seems that Couture will also be joining the small-but-growing list of Strikeforce fighters who weren’t able to hack it in the big leagues, as the UFC confirmed his release following two consecutive losses earlier today.

Couture last competed at UFC 164 in August, where he dropped a unanimous decision to TUF 15 *finalist* (ouch) Al Iaquinta on the Facebook preliminary portion (Daaaaang!) of the card. In his UFC debut at UFC on FUEL 9, Couture was TKO’d by TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson in the second round.

Although we’re sure this has absolutely nothing to do with the UFC’s ongoing war of words with Randy Couture and company, it will be interesting to see just how many wins Randy Lite will have to score in smaller promotions before he is invited back. Or, if he is invited back (DUN-DUN-DUN).

UPDATE: Three more profiles have been removed from UFC.com. To see who they are, join us after the jump.

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TUF 18 Episode 4 Recap: Piss Fits, Toilet Paper Roll Men, And a Gnarly Dive-Bomb KO


(Rakoczy vs. Modafferi highlights, via Fox Sports.)

While the first women’s quarterfinal bout on TUF 18 featured an ego-driven meeting of Team Rousey and Team Tate’s top picks, the second one pitted the female bracket’s #4 seeds against each other. At the end of last week’s episode, we saw coach Miesha Tate select WMMA veteran Roxanne Modafferi (who comes onto the show with a five-fight losing streak) to go in against Team Rousey’s Jessica Rakoczy, a former boxing champ who has only earned one victory in five MMA fights. Once again, we have a meeting of the old school vs. the new school — not to mention a classic matchup between a grappler who’s shaky on her feet vs. a striker who’s still learning this jiu-jitsu stuff. Spoiler alert: The fight ends by stoppage, and it’s ugly.

Ronda Rousey is psyched about the matchup, though. “They’re such predictable little pussies,” she says. “[Modafferi's] not gonna be able to bully in, you’ll be able to pick her apart, it’s perfect.” Rakoczy apparently suffered a shoulder injury during her elimination fight, but she’s ready, and Miesha Tate will pay for every smile she smirked.

Modafferi thanks Tate for the fight-selection — in Japanese, obviously — and says she’s not going to underestimate Rakoczy, even though her team (and guest coach Dennis Hallman) are convinced that Modafferi’s got this one in the bag. Vengeful MMA Gods, that’s your cue to enter.

Edmond Tarverdyan mean-mugs Hallman and tries to pick a fight as soon as he sees him. Hallman calls his bluff and offers to settle it right then in the training center. Rousey holds her coach back, then gets in Hallman’s face and throws a “piss fit.” (Miesha’s words, not mine.) Dana White has to come in and play peacemaker, which is kind of an unexpected role for him. I’m sure it’s just that infamous reality show editing, but man, Tarverdyan and Rousey are really coming off like crazy assholes here.

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Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira Targeted for February 2014 in New Jersey


(Don’t feel bad, Jon. There are insane, misguided women who would pay a lot of money for lips like those. / Photo via Getty)

No, there won’t be an immediate rematch of 2013′s Fight of the Year. UFC president Dana White confirmed to ESPN yesterday that Jon Jones‘s next light-heavyweight title defense will come against Brazilian contender Glover Teixeira. “That’s what the champ wants,” White said. “We’ll probably have that fight on the Super Bowl card in New Jersey.”

With Super Bowl XLVIII scheduled for February 2nd in East Rutherford, the Jones vs. Teixeira bout would go down the night before on February 1st, as per UFC tradition. Though White didn’t name a venue, it seems likely that the fight would take place at the Prudential Center in Newark, where Jones originally won his title from Mauricio “Shogun” Rua back in March 2011, and made his fifth title defense against Chael Sonnen earlier this year. (Hey, remember when we thought this event might happen at Madison Square Garden? That was pretty sweet. Let’s cross our fingers for 2015, guys.)

Undefeated for eight years and carrying a perfect 5-0 record in the UFC, Teixeira is clearly next in line on the light-heavyweight title ladder. The 33-year-old most recently TKO’d Ryan Bader in just under three minutes at UFC Fight Night 28, overwhelming Bader with strikes after being briefly staggered by the TUF 8 winner.

So where does this leave Alexander Gustafsson? Funny you should ask…

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Jon Jones Opens as -400 Favorite in Future Rematch With Alexander Gustafsson


(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Three months before their title fight at UFC 165, Jon Jones opened up as a massive -800 favorite against Alexander Gustafsson, who was slated as a +500 underdog. In other words, the oddsmakers felt that Jones/Gustafsson would be an even bigger squash match than Jones/Sonnen. Of course, this was back when everybody assumed that Bones could walk through the Swedish challenger with no trouble whatsoever. As it turned out, Gustafsson was the toughest test of Jones’s career, and might have stolen the belt if he hadn’t started to fade in the championship rounds.

We’re still not certain when Jones and Gustafsson will meet up for an encore performance, but that shouldn’t stop you from betting on the hypothetical fight. The opening line for Jones vs. Gustafsson 2 was recently released, establishing Jones as a still-hefty -400 favorite, compared to a +300 mark for Gustafsson. Since then, the line has slightly widened out, suggesting that the early money is coming in on Jones. (i.e., the oddsmakers are making Jones less profitable and Gustafsson more profitable, in an attempt to lure more wagers in Gustafsson’s direction.)

And why wouldn’t people be betting on Jones? Gustafsson may have made the champ look vulnerable during their five-round war, but the reality is that Gustafsson still wasn’t able to come away with a victory, despite putting in the greatest performance of his career. So if you were thinking of laying some cash on Gus in the rematch, here’s what you need to ask yourself: Does it really makes sense to wager on Gustafsson now that he’s significantly less profitable than he was for the first fight? Do you expect Gustafsson to do even better against Jones the second time? Really? Why?

In my opinion, the only logical reason for betting on Gustafsson in the rematch is that the fight could easily turn into another evenly-matched five-round war of attrition — and when a fight like that goes to the judges, you might as well be flipping a coin.

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Video Challenge: Watch This 13-Second Leg Break Without Throwing Up, Win a Free Hat


(The screams…dear God the screams. Video via reddit/MMA.)

The fighter: Frank “Bam Bam” Bloise, making his professional MMA debut.
The event: Panama Fight League – Ultimate Combat Challenge 11

There are no free hats.

-J. Jones

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Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz Are Giant Monsters in Bellator’s New Pay-Per-View Ad [VIDEO]


(Props: BellatorMMA via Reddit/MMA)

To promote their first pay-per-view show on November 2nd, Bellator has released a 30-second ad in which headliners Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Tito Ortiz are depicted as what the Japanese would call kaiju. Think King Kong vs. Godzilla, if King Kong and Godzilla were longtime friends who constantly complained about being disrespected by their former boss.

It’s a none-too-subtle reference to how BIG this fight is, at least for Bellator, whose long-term health as a promotion could be strengthened by a respectable buyrate in their first PPV outing. But as a cynical observer, I’m not expecting an epic clash of monsters in the main event. I’m expecting guys like Michael Chandler, Eddie Alvarez, and Pat Curran to steal the show as usual, while two old relics smush up against each other for 15 minutes before slithering back into the dark and mysterious waters of the Pacific Ocean.

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Shakedown of the Day: Dana White is Coming For His $175K, Ken Shamrock.


(For an abridged version of White’s rant, go here. Video via FightHubTV.)

The war of words/lawsuits between Ken Shamrock and the UFC is as old as the hills that Ken Shamrock’s career went over some five (hundred) years ago, yet it continuously finds ways to entertain us in these troubled times. Ever since ShamWow was defeated by the Zuffa attorneys via first round KO back in 2008, he has not-so-silently been leading the anti-UFC crusade and occasionally ripping off smaller promotions to fund said anti-UFC crusade. His methods, which have included attempting to pay off Zuffa’s court fees with a “superfight” and joining forces with his fellow disgraced UFC fighters for a giggle session on Twitter, have produced few results to say the least.

Recently, however, UFC President Dana White decided to finally address Shamrock during the UFC 168 world tour. The moment was eerily reminiscent of Tony Montana’s final interaction with Frank Lopez.

Ken Shamrock owes ME $175,000.

(*stares directly at camera* *moves in for EXTREME CLOSE UP*)

And I’m coming for it, Ken. I’m coming for the fucking money, you piece of shit. You should have stayed wherever you were, hidden under the fucking porch somewhere.

We reached out to Shamrock for a response this morning, but unfortunately, the traffic light turned green before he could finish wiping our windows with last week’s newspaper. Keep an eye on Shamrock’s twitter account, however, as his local library will be opening its doors any minute now.

-J. Jones

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The Potato Nation Speaks: BJ Penn Has No Chance Versus Frankie Edgar


(Herb Dean convincing BJ Penn not to drop to featherweight. / Photo via Getty Images) 

By Matt Saccaro

The majority of CagePotato readers do not give BJ Penn a chance to beat Frankie Edgar in their featherweight meeting next year. Out of nearly 1,000 people who voted on our previous sidebar poll, 55% believe that Penn will get his ass kicked by Edgar and then retire for a 400th time (and then perhaps break a CagePotato ban by unretiring for a 401st time).

33% of the voters had even less confidence in Penn. What could be worse than getting your ass kicked again, you ask? Not even being able to make 145 pounds in the first place. That’s right. A third of our readership is skeptical about Penn’s commitment to fitness and thinks that Penn at featherweight is a pipe dream.

It also appears that 7% of our readers are delusional (or just decided to be trolls and skew our results by voting for the most insane selection). They believe that Penn will become the UFC featherweight champion by the end of 2014. No joke.

And the ultimate minority, the remaining 5%? They think that Penn will get his revenge on Edgar and then retire afterwards.

Thankfully, it appears that most of our readers have a grip on reality. Penn lost decisively to Edgar two times, largely because he was slower than Edgar and had worse conditioning. These problems will only be exacerbated when Penn, who’s notorious for his poor conditioning and inability to fight to the death, attempts to drop down to featherweight — a weight class Edgar has fought in twice now without any sign that he’s been depleted by the weight cut. Penn, once he realizes that he’s not a young man anymore and that he wasted his prime thinking that he was too good to train hard, will very likely retire again.

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CagePotato Roundtable #26: What Is the Greatest Comeuppance in MMA History?


(Bro, you need a male nurse.)

After spending last week’s roundtable discussion paying tribute to the most foul people associated with our sport, this week we’ll be focusing on great comeuppances — cases when a fighter got too cocky and karma caught up with him mid-match. Some of our picks are knockouts, some are submissions, and all are extremely satisfying to relive. Read on for our picks, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to tips@cagepotato.com.

Ben Goldstein


(Props: Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

It’s one of the most well-known (and feared) unwritten rules in baseball: You never jinx a no-no. When a pitcher has gone a few innings without giving up a hit, you shut the fuck up about it. Teammates aren’t supposed to acknowledge it in the dugout, broadcasters aren’t supposed to mention it on air. These days, you’re not even supposed to tweet about it. If you even so much as whisper the words “no hitter” into your sleeve from the bleachers, the baseball gods will smite you for your hubris and it’ll all come crashing down.

MMA offers all kinds of painful penalties for celebrating early, and you’d think that everyone would have learned the lesson by now. But every once in a while, some asshole comes along and claims that he’ll achieve some lofty feat way before he has any right to. Call it a jinx, call it karmic retribution, but those fighters tend to fall on their face, while the rest of us revel in their defeat. You shouldn’t have tempted fate, buddy. You should have stayed humble. You shouldn’t have jinxed the no-no.

If you’ve been following the UFC for a long time, you might remember a former lightweight champion by the name of Benson Henderson. (He was the guy who held the belt between Frankie Edgar and Anthony Pettis? Long, curly hair? He could do all things through Christ who strengthened him? Does any of that ring a bell?) Anyway, this Benson Henderson guy was known for edging out very close decision wins in title fights — the kind of fights that could have gone either way, but kept falling in his favor. He got a reputation as a point-fighter who never went in for the kill, who only took risks involving toothpicks.

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[VIDEO] Cristiane Cyborg Put on a Muay Thai Clinic Against Jennifer Colomb Last Friday Because of Course She Did

If any of you are like me, you probably can’t watch a video of Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino savaging some hapless opponent without running through a list of “What Ifs” and “Reasons to Hate Tito Ortiz.” What if Cyborg hadn’t asked to be released from the UFC? What if she somehow managed to secure a fight with Ronda Rousey? What if Ortiz hadn’t nuked her career with a series of awkward non sequiturs? (Author’s note: Hopefully the latter can be answered when Ortiz and his besties crash Dana White’s quinceanera or whatever it is they plan on doing.)

It’s a moot issue at this point, but we triple dog dare you to watch Cyborg’s victory over the previously undefeated (and late replacement opponent) Jennifer Colomb at Lion Fight 11 without asking the same questions. Although the fight went down last Friday, a full video of their two round Muay Thai bout has only recently been made available, likely because it was being used as evidence in an assault case filed against Justino that has since been dropped.

As for the fight itself…what would you expect? Cyborg swarms Colomb with a Tasmanian Devil-esque flurry of punches, kicks, knees, spinning backfists/elbows, haidukens, ice freeze attacks, Falcon punches and Bob-ombs at every conceivable opportunity until Colomb just sort of wilts from the sheer magnitude of it all. I’m telling you, have Cyborg strap on (HOLD IT) a face mask and some skates and she would have Milan Lucic shitting out his own eyeballs within the first period.

This is normally where I’d ask an obvious question — something like “Are there any intriguing non-UFC fights left for Cyborg?” — but we all know that answer.

In conclusion: Down with Primetime 360, up with Entertainment 720.

*drops mic*

-J. Jones

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