bad celebrity tattoos
20 Celebrities With Truly Awful Tattoos

October, 2013

Times Are Getting Hard, Boys: Jon Fitch Moves Cross-Country to Take Health Club Job


(As if Fitch didn’t have *enough* douchebags trying to get photos with him in public. / Props: Getty)

The past year hasn’t been easy for former perennial welterweight title contender Jon Fitch. After a loss to Demian Maia, Fitch was still ranked by the UFC as one of the division’s very best, but that didn’t stop the promotion from firing him.

After being priced out of his job with the UFC, the top-ten ranked Fitch next fought and lost to Josh Burkman in his World Series of Fighting debut. Now, Fitch finds himself apparently unable to make ends meet through fighting alone and he has packed up his family and moved them from San Jose, California, to Syracuse, New York, to take a job at a mega-gym called Pacific Health Club.

“There are financial things to take into consideration — it’s a salaried job with guaranteed income and health benefits for my family,” Fitch told MMAFighting in a recent interview.

“Those are huge, really. Honestly, California is falling apart. The whole country’s kind of falling apart. But the cost of living here in California is ridiculous, and the taxation in California is ridiculous. I’m not sure it’s any better in New York yet, but I’ve got to start doing something, thinking outside the box trying to keep yourself and your family above water and outside the sinking ship.”

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[VIDEOS] Joe Rogan Names the Top 8 Heavyweight & Head Kick KO’s in UFC History

When he’s not busy chasing Bigfoot, obliterating pads in the gym, or supportively talking Fear Factor contestants through the subtle intricacies of chugging donkey semen, chances are that Joe Rogan is either jet setting around the world to maintain his gig as the UFC’s color commentator or destroying hecklers at one of his standup gigs. Rogan is truly the closest thing to a renaissance man that the UFC has to offer, which is probably why UFC Tonight grants him the exclusive privilege of compiling more “Best of” lists than a Buzzfeed writer born in the early 90′s.

Rogan’s first countdown focuses on the heavyweight division’s greatest knockouts of “all time.” I say “all time” with sarcastiquotes because according to Rogan, the heavyweight division contained zero knockouts of note before UFC 70 in 2007. In fact, 7 out of Joe’s 8 picks have all come within the past three years. WHY YOU GOTTA DISRESPECT BRAD KOHLER LIKE THAT, BRO(gan)?

Check out Rogan’s full list above, then join us after the jump to hear him riff on all things head kick-related.

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‘Velasquez vs. Dos Santos III’ Fight-Picking Contest: Win a Combat Line T-Shirt From Fear the Fighter!


(FTF’s Kickboxing tee. Check out the rest of their Combat Line shirts here.)

This Saturday at UFC 166 in Houston, heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez and ex-champ Junior Dos Santos will meet for the third time in their best-of-seven series. Velasquez is currently sitting at a 2-1 favorite, thanks to the 25-minute whooping he put on JDS during their last fight. But as we’ve seen so many times in the past, heavyweight bouts can end with one punch. So how will things end this time?

Shoot us your predictions for the Velasquez vs. Dos Santos fight in the comments section of this post, and the most accurate guess will score a Combat Line t-shirt from our good buddies at Fear the Fighter. Your predictions should look something like this…

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Cheick Kongo to Obliterate the Testicles of Vinicius Queiroz Live on PPV November 2nd

You know that upcoming Bellator PPV none of you give a shit about? Well it just got SLIGHTLY MORE GIVE-A-SHITABLE.

That’s right kids, Luke Thomas recently passed along the word that some more UFC veterans are going to throw down for the right to challenge whoever Bellator’s current heavyweight champion is (I think it ends in “agrov” or “arinov”?) for the low, low price of 35ish dollars!


(That’s right, three consecutive posts anchored by gifs. Deal with it.)

In one corner, we have the Rousimar Palhares of the testicle world, Cheick Kongo. In the other, we have the only UFC fighter to ever contract Stanozolol from a sauna, Vinicius Queiroz. Both picked up “big” wins at Bellator 102 — the former with a 2nd round TKO of THE Mike Godbeer, the latter with a 23 second knockout of fellow UFC washout Lavar Johnson. CAN. YOU. SENSE. THE MEDIOCRITY.

Contain yourselves, Potato Nation.

-J. Jones

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GIF of the Day: Jorge Rodrigues Silva Shows Us The *Humane* Way to Vaporize a Knee


(Gif via @ZProphet_MMA)

I know we’ve already touched upon this, but I’d just like to say that Rousimar Palhares is a malicious dingleberry whose recent firing was completely justified. That people are attempting to defend a man with an overt history of assholishness by pulling the “he’s just a simple-minded troglodyte who suffers temporary blackouts” card is a testament to our species’ ability to delude ourselves. These are the same people, mind you, that immediately and vehemently condemned Jon Jones for going joyriding after a few too many drinks last May. Because committing an isolated mistake while drunk makes you an unforgivable idiot, but repeatedly disregarding the most basic rule(s) of a discipline you have been training your entire life makes you misunderstood! IS THIS HOW UNICEF WORKS, YOU GUYS?!!

The damndest thing is that Palhares’ lack of empathy is soiling what would otherwise be a string of incredibly impressive submissions. Guys like Jorge Rodrigues Silva, on the other hand, seem to operate under the assumption that impressive submissions can be achieved without malicious intent behind them*. Just check out the sub he pulled off on Ken Jackson at Brasil Fight 7 last Friday. Sure, it was no “Inverted Twister Cruciplata” or “Roor-naked choke” (*dodges vaudeville hook*), but a reverse kneebar secured using only your legs? Golf clap, good sir. Golf clap.

After the jump: A full video of the fight, also courtesy of Zombie Prophet.

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Amazingly, Every Fighter at ‘UFC Fight Night 29′ Managed to Pass His Drug Test


(In retrospect, maybe these guys could have *used* a little steroids. / Photo via Getty)

On the main card alone, last week’s UFC Fight Night 29 event featured a guy who previously pissed dirty for steroids (Joey Beltran), a fake-urine submitting pot smoker (Thiago Silva), one of the UFC’s many “elevated testosterone” violators (Rousimar Palhares), and a guy who failed a drug test for undisclosed reasons, so we’re just going to assume it was weed (Jake Shields). We’ve been waiting for the card’s drug test results with baited breath, and to our surprise, it looks like everybody’s in the clear. As MMAFighting reports:

All 20 UFC Fight Night 29 fighters passed their drug tests. Brazilian MMA Athletic Commission (CABMMA) tested every fighter before their bouts on Oct. 9 in Barueri, Brazil. After the bouts, the headliners – Demian Maia and Jake Shields – were tested again, in addition to four other randomly selected fighters…all results came back negative.”

This is especially good news for Thiago Silva, who has had two of his last four UFC wins knocked down to no-contests, and is now riding his first legitimate win streak since 2007-2008. Of course, Silva missed weight by three pounds for his UFC Fight Night 29 bout against Matt Hamill, so I guess we should put an asterisk next to that win as well, but still, it’s progress.

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Regrettable Tweet of the Day: Conor McGregor’s Three-Way Sex Fantasy, Featuring the TUF 18 Coaches and Toe-Oral [UPDATED]


(Like a BOSS. / Screen-cap via @TheNotoriousMMA)

Irish rising star Conor McGregor is having quite an eventful year: He’s already had his first UFC victory and his first debilitating knee injury — and his first forced apology might be right around the corner.

The tweet above is what happened when a fan asked the fun-lovin’ featherweight a relatively harmless question about who he fancied more, Ronda Rousey or Miesha Tate. And man did he knock this one out of the park. Eric Holden is crying and masturbating in your honor, sir.

To be honest, the most offensive thing about this tweet is the way McGregor sticks all the extra S’s at the end of “toes,” like he’s some over-excited teenage girl who can’t wait to get the new iPhone you guyssssssss!!! I fucking hate that shit. The real question is, which TUF 18 coach would be on toe-duty?

Update: And here’s that apology

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Yushin Okami Signs With WSOF, Will Hopefully Have a Better Debut Than Jon Fitch


(Oh, so *this* is the “wouldn’t get up from butt scoot” guy? Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.)

When looking back at the past few years of their respective careers, it’s hard not to draw a comparison between Yushin Okami and Jon Fitch. We’re guilty of it. Hell, pretty much every MMA site out there is guilty of making the somewhat obvious comparison, and it’s pretty easy to see why. Both guys were perennial UFC contenders (or so we thought) who were ranked in the top 10 of their promotion’s horribly preferential ranking system at the time of their release. Both guys also possess a style that is oft described as “grinding” or “taxing” or “like watching 2001: A Space Odyssey at half speed while on Ketamine.”

Simply put, Okami and Fitch share a lot of common ground. That their similarities is a subject that has been elaborated upon more than that one time Court McGee overdosed on heroin is as frustrating as watching the majority of their fights, but I digress. Of course, it won’t help matters that Okami decided to up and sign with World Series of Fighting over the weekend like Fitch before him. Let’s hope his promotional debut — which is set for “around March” – goes a little better than Fitch’s.

In an exclusive interview with CagePotato.com, Okami elatedly spoke on his new home in the WSOF and new beginnings in general, as well as the emotional toll his UFC release had on his physical well-being:

Yes. Hello. Yushin Okami. Thank you. Yes. World Series of Fighting. Hello. Thank You. Yushin Okami. 

Good to be back, Nation! (*hums Kazoo and hitch kicks off stage*)

-J. Jones

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Fallon Fox Gets TKO’d, Holly Holm and Henry Cejudo Stay Undefeated [VIDEOS]


(Fallon Fox vs. Ashlee Evans-Smith highlights, via AXS TV Fights)

There was a considerable amount of combat sports action this weekend. Timothy Bradley took a split decision over Juan Manuel Marquez, retaining his WBO welterweight title. Tyrone Spong avenged a past draw against Nathan Corbett with a vicious left hook knockout in the second round at Glory 11. But this is CagePotato; we deal in MMA here. And while most of the focus was on Bellator this weekend (which is to say, there wasn’t a lot of focus this weekend), there were three other notable MMA fights that warranted attention. Olympic wrestling gold medalist Henry Cejudo notched yet another victory, and both Holly Holm and Fallon Fox, WMMA prospects fan-favorities celebrities fighters who you know about, fought this weekend. While the results were different for the three, each took a step towards fulfilling what potential they possess. For better or worse.

We’ll start with Fallon Fox, just to get her out of the way. Despite the publicity she’s received, Fox isn’t what you might call a “good” fighter. Her opponents thus far have been terrible, and the supposed advantage she possesses from being transgender is looking tenuous at best after her appearance at Championship Fighting Alliance 12 in Coral Gables, Florida on Saturday. Although Fox had her moments in the first round, her opponent Ashlee Evans-Smith ramped up the pressure in the second and it paid dividends. Smith, in just her second professional fight, managed to take Fox down and almost finish her in the second round before the bell sounded. There was some controversy, as the crowd was so enthusiastic (“virulently transphobic” could also work here) that it was unclear at what point the bell had rung and whether the fight had been stopped. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. Evans-Smith simply repeated the process in the third round, putting Fox away with punches from the mount position.

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‘Rampage vs. Tito’ Ticket Sales Confirm That Bellator Is Pretty Much F*cked, You Guys


(“Move it, asshole, you’re blocking the box!”)

By Matt Saccaro

The ticket sales for Bellator’s November 2nd pay-per-view debut are bad — basically as bad as they could possibly be less than a month out from the card.

On Friday, MMAJunkie’s John Morgan tweeted that the PPV had sold only approximately 1,700 tickets, with another 2,000 on consignment. Matt Roth of MMAMania noted just how dire the situation really is. He pointed out that the venue can hold over 13,000 people, meaning that Bellator would have to sell in the neighborhood of 10,000 tickets in less than 20 days to secure a sellout. That probably isn’t going to happen — not even if Tito Ortiz and Rampage Jackson became giants like in the awful trailer for the PPV.

Bjorn Rebney better be prepared to get a job at his dad’s Winnebago dealership; winter is coming for Bellator. Nobody is going to attend their PPV, and it’s probable that, at an expected price between $35-45, nobody is going to purchase their PPV either. Nobody gives a fuck about their product and their titles are considered worthless. If the UFC stacked three title fights on a card, you’d expect success, even if it were the titles for the three lightest weight classes. But with Bellator, which is offering three title fights on its PPV (although one is a dubious interim title), nobody knows or cares. Hell, we’re a site whose fanbase is comprised pretty much of entirely hardcore fans, and judging by the front page poll, a third of you never even watch Bellator. If they can’t get the hardcores, what fucking chance do they have at getting the casual fans to drop money on this PPV?

Even more concerning is a recent report from MMAPayout about Bellator 102, which UFC “star” Cheick Kongo headlined. The show’s gate was only $73,410.43. A paltry 1,482 people attended the show but nearly half of those tickets (604 of them to be precise) were comped. Now, are you ready to be really amazed? Let’s look at the salaries

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