11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

November, 2013

Listing the Most Egregious Omissions From the UFC’s “Top 20″ Knockouts and Submissions Lists

Patrick Cote Anderson Silva injured knee MMA photos
(What? KO’s that come via “mind bullets” don’t count anymore? BULLSHIT. Photo via Getty.)

So you might have heard that the UFC celebrated its 20th anniversary on Tuesday, and the organization’s head honchos could not have rang in the milestone more differently: Dana White took a dump on Tito Ortiz’s lawn, Joe Silva bought a new Ferrari, and Lorenzo Fertitta did push ups for 14 hours in a row. The UFC also uploaded two “Top 20″ countdowns to their Youtube page, taking a nostalgic look back at the most impressive knockouts and submissions ever seen inside the octagon.

As is always the case with list-style countdowns, the interwebs have exploded with controversy regarding both the UFC’s placement of certain subs/KO’s on the lists and, perhaps more importantly, their exclusion of several far more impressive entries entirely. Thankfully, we are here just two days late to quell the fires of your outrage.

Check out videos of the UFC’s Top 20 knockouts and submissions after the jump, followed by our scathing takedown of said lists – which we grant you total permission to pile in on.

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Anthony Pettis Hoping to Avoid Knee Surgery That Could Sideline Him Up to Six Months


(Unfortunately, the human body’s ligaments simply weren’t designed to handle this much #SWAG. / Photo via showtimepettis)

After tearing his PCL during his UFC 164 title win against Benson Henderson, UFC lightweight champ Anthony Pettis spent two months rehabbing the injury. As you’ve probably heard by now, that hasn’t really solved the problem.

“The first time I came back (to train in the gym) I got a light kick in the shin and it swelled up real bad,” Pettis told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Pettis was forced to scrap his UFC on FOX 9 title defense against Josh Thomson to have his knee issues resolved, but it’s been rough going so far. He’s already had three different doctors give him three different recommendations, and he’s getting a fourth opinion next week in Los Angeles. If that fourth doctor recommends surgery, that will likely be his course of action.

“Most doctors don’t operate on PCLs, so no one has a clear answer at this point,” Pettis said. “I’m going to L.A. after my brother’s fight to get another opinion. If I do need surgery, the time frame is four to six months off. If we decide to rehab, it’s another four to six weeks. I’m hoping for no surgery, but I don’t want this to be something that keeps happening…I’m trying to figure out the right steps now. My biggest fear is that I give it four to six weeks (of rehab) and then the same thing happens.”

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 167: St. Pierre vs. Hendricks’ Edition


(JUST TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY!! Image via Adam Doyle.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

With a win over Johny Hendricks this weekend, welterweight kingpin Georges St. Pierre will break *three* UFC records: Most UFC wins ever (!), Most title bout wins ever (!!) and dependent on how long the fight lasts, most octagon hours logged ever (meh). It’s an intriguing prospect to say the least, and a fight that headlines a card stacked to the brim with equally intriguing prospects and matchups.

But you don’t care about octagon records or intriguing prospects, you care about money. Cash. Doubloons. “A whole lotta Kale chips,” if you know what I’m saying. That’s where we come in, delivering the pound-for-pound best gambling advice week after week after tireless week. So join us after the jump to sneak a peek at the UFC 167 gambling lines (courtesy of BestFightOdds) and get in on more gambling advice than your broke ass will even know what to do with.

Stay the Hell Away From:

Josh Koscheck (-105) vs. Tyron Woodley (-115)

Koscheck is looking to avoid losing his third straight while Woodley will be trying to avoid going 1-3 in his last four bouts. The skill sets of both fighters here are very similar — strong wrestlers who often opt for a stand up affair — hence the almost even odds here. But in a game of tag where both fighters have found success (coupled with Fraggle’s penchant for his signature eye poke), picking a winner at the window is a true coin flip. Skip it.

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Ben Askren *Released* by Bellator (!) For Being “A Completely One-Dimensional, Utterly Dominant Fighter”


(Bjorn Rebney: Putting the “backhand” in “backhanded compliment” since 2008.)

You gotta love the Bellator business model, Nation. Two aging, injury-prone UFC stars who are 3-7 in their past 10 combined? BUILD A PPV AROUND THEM, DAMMIT. A longstanding (albeit incredibly boring) champion who has dominated every last opponent placed before him? LET HIM SPREAD HIS WINGS AND FLY, DAMMIT.

And so goes the Bellator career of welterweight champion Ben Askren, who was released into the murky waters of unrestricted free agency earlier today. A press release sent out this morning has the details:

Ben Askren is now an unrestricted free agent after Bellator released the undefeated welterweight. The Bellator Welterweight World Title will be vacant until Douglas Lima faces the winner of the Season 9 Welterweight Tournament later this winter when the new Bellator Welterweight Champion will be crowned.

“I’ve said it many times, Ben’s a completely one-dimensional fighter who is utterly dominant in that dimension,” (Ed note: BUUUUUURRRRNNNN?!) Bellator Chairman & CEO Bjorn Rebney said. “I had a number of discussions with Ben and it became clear it was time for both parties to move in different directions. We’ve relinquished any right to match here and Ben can sign with whoever he chooses to sign with. Ben’s been at Bellator since the start of his career, I respect him and what he’s accomplished and wish him the best wherever he goes.”

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Is Georges St. Pierre’s Retirement Talk Misdirection for a Bigger Announcement?


(Georges St. Pierre, getting his lunch money stolen by Midoux and Zahabi. / Photo via LaPresse)

By Elias Cepeda

I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Georges St. Pierre and his camp are messing with us. In recent months, speculation that the UFC welterweight champion might soon retire after he fights Johny Hendricks this Saturday at UFC 167 has run rampant.

For the most part, St. Pierre himself and his head trainer Firas Zahabi have pretty much been the sources of this speculation, and since then they’ve attempted to discredit the rumor that they themselves got started. The latest “Georges should/might retire” item came from none other than St. Pierre’s long time mentor Kristof Midoux, a.k.a. the big old school fighter guy that recently appeared on the third episode of UFC Primetime: St. Pierre vs. Hendricks.

Midoux recently did an interview with French Canadian publication La Presse where he revealed that he told St. Pierre that, should he beat Hendricks in impressive fashion, the champion should retire right there in the Octagon. (Rough translation via Google/us):

I said, after this, it’s over! Shine that night. Finish this guy in front of everyone. Shut the mouths of your critics. If you finish this guy, if you knock him out, then you will be free, you’ll be happy to take the microphone and tell everyone you’re done — to say that you will leave room for others.

I told George, have the courage to take the microphone and say thank you to everyone. Those who do not understand are those who have nothing to understand, those who are selfish. It is time to think about him. This is the greatest gift that he could have. He could enjoy life, spend time with his family.

I want it to happen like that. I really wish he doesn’t make the mistake of so many fighters. I do not want him to keep competing when he’s 35.”

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‘TUF 18′ Semifinal Fight Video: Sarah Moras vs. Julianna Pena


(Props: TheUltimateFighterFX)

Last night’s TUF 18 semifinal fight between Team Tate members Julianna Pena and Sarah Moras was actually a rematch. In April 2012, the two fighters met at a Conquest of the Cage event in Washington, and Moras won by doctor’s stoppage TKO at the end of two rounds, after popping Julianna’s elbow with an armbar. (As Moras explained during last night’s episode, Pena refused to tap.)

The majority of the TUF 18 cast was rooting for Moras to repeat history, as Pena had become the most despised female fighter in the house. The Venezuelan Vixen had other plans, however. Check out the video above to watch the complete two-round scrap, which Pena dominated in the standup and on the mat. Though Sarah searched for another armbar in round 2, she found herself bloodied by Pena’s elbows, and tapped to a guillotine choke when she turtled to escape the abuse.

Pena’s victory earned what might have been the saddest, least enthusiastic round of applause in TUF history. But screw the haters — she’s punched a ticket to the Finals against the winner of Raquel Pennington vs. Jessica Rakoczy.

Sarah Moras actually lost twice in this episode, if you count her living-room wrestling match fiasco against Anthony Gutierrez. You can watch that clip after the jump.

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Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira Confirmed Scratched From UFC 170, Feb. 22nd in Las Vegas [UPDATED, WTF]


(Damn. Even his rope is fabulous. / Photo via GQ)

UPDATE: Uh…just kidding. MMAJunkie reports that the Jones vs. Teixeira fight will *not* take place at UFC 170, as Jones will be unavailable for an undisclosed reason. This is the second time that this shit has happened.

The previously announced light-heavyweight title fight between champion Jon Jones and challenger Glover Teixeira will headline UFC 170, scheduled for February 22nd at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas. The date and venue were announced on yesterday’s edition of UFC Tonight.

Jones is coming off his record-setting sixth title-defense, which came in a squeaker against Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165 in September. The hard-slugging Teixeira is riding one of the longest win streaks in the sport — 20 straight victories, unbroken by draws or no-contests — and TKO’d Ryan Bader in September to pick up his fifth win in the UFC.

UFC 170 marks the UFC’s second pay-per-view event scheduled for February 2014, and means that three of the UFC’s nine titles will be up for grabs that month, including the bantamweight and featherweight title fights slated for UFC 169 on February 1st. And of course, the Machida vs. Mousasi fight will also take place that month in Brazil. Rest up now, fight fans.

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CagePotato Ban: Fighters Being *Too* Honest About Their Sketchy Pasts


(Pictured above: The exception to the rule.)

There isn’t a human being among us who doesn’t have some skeletons in their closet. As a species, we are often genetically predisposed to mental disease, addiction, and all kinds of abnormal behavior. When combined with the meat grinder that is everyday life in the public eye, it is only a matter of time before some of these skeletons, these abnormal tendencies, are uncovered for the world to see and later criticize from our two most prestigious ivory towers, Hindsight and Judgement.

And while there are plenty of combat sports competitors who were raised under “normal” circumstances in a “normal” household, who went on to become poster boys for the “normalness” of their organizations/sports and so on, there are just as many fighters who came from nothing, and when faced with the overwhelming eye of the public, allowed these abnormal tendencies to be placed center stage and eventually destroy them.

One such fighter is Mike Tyson, who after rising to the highest ranks of the boxing world some thirty years ago, saw his fame, fortune, and fanbase crumble beneath the weight of drug addiction and scandal. Nowadays, a wiser, gentler Tyson has emerged, unabashedly sharing the most intimate details of his past in an effort to both restore his shattered reputation and warn young fighters of the potential dangers they could face down the line.

The problem is, “Iron Mike” is being a little *too* candid as of late. Join us after the jump to see what we mean.

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Ryan LaFlare Rolls the Dice, Will Fight Court McGee at UFC on FOX 9 After Five-Week Layoff


(Ryan sticks out like a tall white guy in a room full of Blackzilians. I really want that saying to catch on. / Photo via @RLaFlare)

Let me start with an embarrassing admission: As I was checking out the UFC Fight Night 32 card last week, I was shocked to learn that welterweight Ryan LaFlare was not in fact making his UFC debut that night. Apparently he’d beaten Ben Alloway by decision on the prelims of the Mousasi vs. Latifi* card in April. I had no idea; I’d never heard of the dude before. Anyway, LaFlare is now 2-0 in the UFC (following his decision win against Santiago Ponzinibbio over the weekend), and has a chance to move to 3-0 next month when he fights Court McGee at UFC on FOX 9.

That’s right folks, LaFlare has agreed to step up as a short-notice injury replacement for Kelvin Gastelum, who was forced out of his scheduled match with McGee earlier this week due to a torn knee ligament. Considering that UFC on FOX 9 is scheduled for December 14th, LaFlare will have just five weeks between fights. It’s a gamble, but it’s one that a relatively anonymous 9-0 prospect can afford to make. If he wins, he’s just beaten a TUF winner on a televised card. If he loses…wait, who the hell is Ryan LaFlare again? This is the Long Island native’s opportunity to make his name. Considering that he’s already 30 years old — and was completely inactive from 2011-2012 — the dude needs to make some hay while the sun is shining, so to speak.

And in case you missed the update to our post about Kelvin Gastelum and Jamie Varner’s injuries, Bobby Green is also making a quick turnaround for the 12/14 card. Following his controversial TKO win against James Krause at Fight for the Troops 3, he’ll be filling in for Varner against Pat Healy.

* Hey Joe Silva, are you gonna book Ilir Latifi’s follow-up match any time soon, or what? The Latifi Nation can’t wait any longer.

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GIF-Ranking the ‘UFC 167: St. Pierre vs. Hendricks’ Main Card Fights By Interest Level

gsp georges st. pierre dancing tv show funny mma gifs gif gallery
(If there was ever a time for GSP and Anderson Silva to form a 90′s R&B group, it is now.)

Despite the UFC’s best efforts to protect their pretty boy welterweight champion (SARCASM), Georges St. Pierre will in fact be facing top contender Johny Hendricks at UFC 167 this weekend. The fight headlines what is primed to be one of the UFC’s more stacked cards of the year (*fingers crossed*), which isn’t saying much when considering the cards that have preceded it, but still.

In any case, we’re not always the Debbie Downers you guys make us out to be, so we decided to rank the UFC 167 main card fights using only the power of optimism and the almighty gif. Enjoy.

#5 – Rashad Evans vs. Chael Sonnen

In terms of pure drawing power, it makes sense that Sonnen vs. Evans would find itself as the co-main event of the evening. But when we step back and consider what a win would mean for either fighter in terms of their division, it becomes a significantly less intriguing fight to say the least. (Ed note: I know, it’s not exactly the “glass half full” mentality we were hoping to establish, but baby steps, you guys.)

Simply put, both Sonnen and Evans have done about as much as they can do at 205 lbs: they’ve fought and been dominated by Jon Jones, they’ve picked up wins over aging legends in recent bouts, and they stand about a snowball’s chance in hell of receiving another title shot. Not that every fight needs to be a “#1 contender bout” to interest us, but throw in the fact that Sonnen was already supposed to have returned to middleweight after fighting Shogun, that Evans is coming off a pair of less-than-entertaining affairs and that these guys are friends/co-hosts and you’ve got all the ingredients for a snoozer.

Oh yeah, and Sonnen has admitted that he isn’t exactly thrilled to be fighting Evans in the first place. When The American Gangster can’t even muster up the energy to throw a slightly racist death threat his opponent’s way, look out, brother. Official Ranking:

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