MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

January, 2014

Don’t Worry, You Guys, Steven Seagal Says That The Sochi Olympics Will Be Fine [VIDEO]

I think something in my brain broke, you guys.

You see, where I’d typically be filled with blood-boiling rage and simultaneous “Holier than thou” frustration with all the things wrong in the world while watching something like the above video of Steven Seagal pretending to be a security expert on the Sochi Olympics (previously: inventor of the front kickschool shooting task force specialistactormusician, etc.) I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I hated every word that Seagal said, and I really, truly wanted to hate him for saying them, but I’m just too…bewildered, I guess. Apathetic even. Seagal’s self-servicing arrogance has reached a level so unbelievably high that it almost transcends him as an individual. The portrait he has painted of himself and his standing in our society as a source of wisdom is so out of touch with reality that it borders on an Always Sunny episode. How can you make a joke about a joke, you know? You’re not going to “reach” Seagal, because if you looked behind his firing range goggles you’d probably see something like this. He’s just a vessel, a skin suit in which the entity of madness has been contained for the good of the many, until he dies and passes it on to the next generation.

You can’t get mad at Steven Seagal. It would be like screaming at a rain cloud.

The real question is: Which of these facts is makes you the saddest?
a) STEVEN SEAGAL has a better relationship with Vladimir Putin than our President
b) STEVEN SEAGAL is asked to give foreign policy advice to the President in the above video (and does), or
c) There are people out there who might actually find comfort in the words of STEVEN SEAGAL, the same guy who once threatened to “cut off the head and piss down the throat” of that chicken-shit pussy asshole Richie?

THIS GUY’S NOTHING WITHOUT THAT BADGE AND GUN.

-J. Jones

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Henry Cejudo Fined Half His Purse, Faces Suspension for Botched Weigh-In at Legacy FC 27


(Cejudo’s decision win against Ryan Hollis from Legacy FC 24 in October.)

As the youngest Olympic wrestling gold-medalist in U.S. history, Henry Cejudo kicked off his MMA career last year with a ton of hype behind him. And so far he’s lived up to it, winning five straight fights including four by first-round stoppage. But Cejudo has hit a rough patch lately due to weight and “illness” (which might just be a code-word for “weight”).

In November, Cejudo no-showed the weigh-ins for Legacy FC 25, where he was scheduled to compete in the co-main event against Saul Elizondo. According to his manager, Cejudo was suffering from nausea and light-headedness, and was later diagnosed with a stomach flu. The fight against Elizondo was scrapped.

Yesterday, Cejudo showed up late to the weigh-ins for tonight’s Legacy FC 27 card at Houston’s Arena Theatre — where he’ll be facing 4-0 prospect Elias Garcia — and hit the scales at 128.5 pounds for the flyweight contest. As a result, Cejudo has forfeited half of his fight-purse, and the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation is expected to suspend him between 90 and 180 days for being a late arrival to weigh-ins.

Cejudo has had no problem outclassing his opponents at bantamweight in the past, and his drop to flyweight seems somewhat unnecessary, at least at this stage of his career. While a 90-day suspension wouldn’t make a difference to your average UFC fighter, Cejudo fought at a breakneck frequency last year in order to build experience; for him, a three-month suspension might actually sting. It’s a tough break — but perhaps a good indication that 135 is where he belongs right now.

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Catch the ‘UFC 169: Barao vs. Faber II’ Weigh-Ins LIVE Right Here Starting at 4 p.m. EST [UPDATED w/Results]


(Photo via Getty.)

There may be 24 fighters hitting the scales at today’s UFC 169: Faber vs. Barao II weigh-ins, but the eyes of the MMA world are going to be focused on one man. No, not Jose Aldo, nor Renan Barao or Urijah Faber or that Lamas guy; I’m talking about supposed flyweight John Lineker, who battles Ali Bagautinov in a potential #1 contender bout tomorrow night.

I say “supposed” because Lineker has shown up heavy for three of his past five fights at flyweight, attaching an unfortunate asterisk to his current four-fight winning streak. Thankfully, Lineker says he has finally made the correct changes to his weight-cutting regimen, so join us after the jump to see how he and the rest of the fighters competing at tomorrow’s event fare in today’s weigh-ins.

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Friday Link Dump: More on the Julianna Pena “Assault”, George Zimmerman Agrees to Celebrity Boxing Match, Super Bowl Beer & Cheese Pairings + More


(If a swarm of insects were somehow involved, this underwater base jump would literally be my ultimate nightmare scenario. Via Break.)

UFC Boss Optimistic for Chris Leben’s Retirement – Once ‘The Crippler’ Pays His Taxes (MMAJunkie)

Sam Sicilia Responds to Dana White’s Comments on Pena: ‘She Wasn’t Assaulted’ (BleacherReport)

George Zimmerman Agrees to ‘Celebrity’ Boxing Match Under Same Promoter Currently Attempting ‘Tag Team Boxing’ (BloodyElbow)

UFC talking about free agent Anthony Johnson (MMAFighting)

Former UFC Light Heavyweight Vinny Magalhaes Signs Five-Fight Deal with Titan FC (MMAMania)

Video: Bella French Teaches You How to Pick Up Women at a Dog Park (EveryJoe)

Spider Man 2 Super Bowl Trailer Official Part 1 — The Amazing Spider Man 2 (Clevver)

8 Vietnam War Movies From Most to Least Violent (TheEscapist)

This Week in Posters! (Filmdrunk)

Super Bowl Cheese & Beer Pairings (ThatsSoCheddar)

The 50 Biggest Fails in Super Bowl History (Complex)

The Greatest NFL Fan Glamour Shots Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

Honest Slogans (HiConsumption)

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Brace Yourself: Alistair Overeem Will Be Looking a Little Thinner at Today’s UFC 169 Weigh-Ins


(His taste in beach-companions has also…evolved, I guess you could say. / Props: SamuraiLife.net via Yahoo!)

We just wanted to give you a heads up so you don’t spaz out later today: The gigantic, hippo-raping Alistair Overeem that you’ve come to love to is no longer with us. In his place is a noticeably slimmer guy who’s still jacked, but not suspiciously jacked. As the Reem explained to MMAJunkie:

I actually dropped some weight. I wanted improved cardio, so obviously you want to lose some weight. That actually goes automatic. A lot more cardio and you automatically lose a lot of weight. We just wanted [my cardio] to be better.

Overeem, who weighed-in near the heavyweight limit of 265 pounds for his first two UFC appearances, seemed to fade by the third round of his UFC 156 match against Antonio Silva, and got knocked out as a result. But then he weighed in at a relatively svelte 255.5 pounds for his August match against Travis Browne and got KO’d in the first round anyway, so who knows.

More importantly, Overeem recently parted ways with the Blackzilians camp, and has been spending his training camp for tomorrow’s fight against Frank Mir at the SuperPro camp in Thailand. A change in scenery and a change in body type — will it be enough to pull the Dutch slugger out of his losing skid?

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Big Country vs. Big Nog Being Considered for UFC’s Return to Abu Dhabi in May


(Looks like that horse skipped leg day. Photo via Nelson’s twitter.)

On the heels of back-to-back losses to Stipe Miocic and Daniel Cormier, Roy “Big Country” Nelson is in need of a big win if he ever wants to be viewed in a more positive light than “a fucking idiot who couldn’t get a job at Kinkos” by his current employer. Just kidding, Dana White will hate Nelson regardless of how he performs in the octagon. In any case, it looks like Nelson’s bid to become the next executive director of the Nevada State Athletic Commission was about as successful as Mary Carey’s bid to become governor of California, as his next fight is already being lined up.

During last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, Ariel Helwani hinted that a bout between “Big Country” and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (a.k.a “Big Nog”) is being targeted for the UFC’s return to Abu Dhabi in May. Here’s how I know this:

It takes a keen investigative eye to be an MMA journalist, it does.

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Update: Werdum vs. Browne to Headline UFC on FOX 11, Bisping vs. Kennedy Cleared for ‘TUF Nations’ Finale


(Ugh. It’s like the UFC poster-designers don’t even *care* anymore. / Actual props: MMAHeat)

UFC president Dana White confirmed today that the heavyweight title eliminator between Fabricio Werdum and Travis Browne will serve as the main event for UFC on FOX 11 (April 19th, Orlando). Reportedly, the UFC was trying to find an even bigger fight to headline the card, but they couldn’t make it happen, so Vai Cavalho vs. Hapa will have to do. For a free show, we ain’t complaining.

Werdum has gone 3-0 since returning to the UFC in 2012, racking up wins over Roy Nelson, Mike Russow, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. Browne has his own three-fight win streak going, with consecutive knockouts of Gabriel Gonzaga, Alistair Overeem, and Josh Barnett, all in the first round. The winner will face reigning heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez at the end of this year, assuming his shoulder heals according to schedule.

In semi-related news, beloved middleweight heel Michael Bisping has finally been cleared to compete again, after spending some time being jerked around by eye-doctors. Due to complications from a detached retina, Bisping has been inactive since his gouge-powered TKO win against Alan Belcher in April. Now, the Count will finally get to face off against his American nemesis Tim Kennedy at the Ultimate Fighter Nations: Canada vs. Australia live finale, April 16th at the Colisee Pepsi in Quebec City.

(Question for all my fellow Patrick Cote superfans in the house: How crazy was the last episode of TUF Nations? I mean, when the one guy and the other guy started shoving each other, and the first guy was like “I came here to win bro,” and the other guy just started screaming in French and threw a chair through a glass door? And later, when those other two guys fought and the Australian almost hit that flying armbar, then…you know what, I’ll stop. I don’t want to spoil it for the rest of you. You’ve been DVR’ing the show, right?)

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Grossest TRT Defense Ever?: Bigfoot Silva’s Manager Says He Was “Lactating” Before Undergoing Treatment for “Extremely Low Testosterone”


(That nickname is *really* starting to make sense now…) 

Well, it’s safe to say that the recently decided upon Potato Award for “Grossest Mental Image of the Year” is all but a lock now.

As you know, Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva was recently suspended for nine months following a positive test for elevated testosterone at Fight Night 33. This came as a surprise to no one, as Silva previously tested positive for Boldenone in 2008, bringing into question how he was granted a TRT TUE in the first place. As was the case with his former steroid test, Silva is doing everything he can to proclaim his innocence in the matter, including suing the doctor who oversaw his therapy.

While anyone with half a brain should conclude that a) there is no way in Hell a 6’4″, 260 pound former steroid user actually needs TRT to survive and b) even if he did, then he probably shouldn’t be fighting for a living, Silva’s manager, Alex Davis, continues to rally for his client, even if it requires him to relay horrifying and embarrassing stories like this one (via MMAFighting):

This is one of the guys that really have authentic technical reasons to be on TRT. He has acromegaly. His pituitary gland overproduces GH (growth hormone) and that unbalances all his other hormones.

When I started managing him, he was actually lactating. He has extremely low testosterone, so he has a real reason to be on TRT. 

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF NOW, JACK BYRNES?!

So in addition to being a dirty steroid user, Bigfoot Silva is probably the worst person to roll with in the history of ever. Glad we could establish that.

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Why Frank Mir vs. Alistair Overeem Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Happen


(The Mir-Overeem preview segment from ‘Countdown to UFC 169′. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

By Adam Ackerman

This weekend’s UFC 169 card looks to be an entertaining night for MMA fans, featuring Renan Barao defending his now-official bantamweight championship against Urijah Faber, and a chance to (possibly) see Jose Aldo get a decent stand-up test against Ricardo Lamas. It is the next match up — Frank Mir vs Alistair Overeem — that makes me cringe.

Why do I cringe? Because I fear what the future holds for both of these men. Mir is coming off of three losses, including two by violent TKOs. Overeem is in a similar boat, having been put to sleep in his last two fights. When you look further back, even more red flags can be found. Out of the eight losses that appear on Frank Mir’s MMA record, seven have been by some form of knockout. It gets even worse for Alistair, who has lost by KO or TKO 11 times between his MMA and kickboxing careers.

Based on what we now know about head trauma in MMA, it’s safe to assume that both fighters have suffered at least some level of brain injury, which means they could be in for an incredibly wide array of consequences. Depending on the area of trauma and severity, either fighter could suffer cognitive, physiological, emotional, psychological, and behavioral changes. Basic physical functions like hand-eye coordination can also be affected, making those devastating strikes even harder to avoid. And the damage does not end there.

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 169: Barao vs. Faber II Edition’


(“It’s OK Eddie, you’re still the king of the invisible motorcycle dance.” Photo via Getty) 

By Dan George

The UFC returns to lovely…Newark, New Jersey this weekend with UFC 169, featuring a pair of lighter weight title fights and what *should* be a loser-leaves-town fight between Alistair Overeem and Frank Mir that you know who seems unwilling to commit to. There’s also a few badass Russians, a hard-hitting Canadian, and a surging TUF alum thrown in for good measure, so it should be a hell of a card.

And with each UFC pay-per-view comes the p4p best gambling advice on the internet: The Gambling Addiction Enabler. So join us below as we dissect UFC 169 and determine where the best opportunities to make some serious bank lie, because let’s be honest, we’ve all got child support payments to make. What? You don’t have any illegitimate children? I feel like I don’t even know you guys anymore.

The Good Dogs:

John Makdessi (-165) vs. Alan Patrick (+145)

At -165, Makdessi earns the right to be the favorite against undefeated Alan Patrick, who will be looking to make it 2-0 in the UFC. Both fighters are coming off first round knockout wins and while Makdessi has earned his stripes against better competition, it is hard to ignore “Nuguette’s” (?) winning formula thus far in his career. There is no denying that Makdessi is the more talented striker, but Patrick mixes up his striking with takedowns very well which may present problems for Makdessi if he is unable to stop the larger man from taking him down early and often. Against Hallman, “The Bull” showed that his Achilles heel is the ground game and this is where Patrick at +145 is worth some consideration based on what we have seen from him throughout his career.

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