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21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

January, 2014

UFC on FOX 10 Results: Sergio Pettis Is a Victim of His Last Name


(A crestfallen Sergio Pettis. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

Sergio Pettis isn’t ready for the UFC.

This opinion might be unpopular, but it’s true. UFC lightweight champ Anthony Pettis‘ younger brother just isn’t ready.

Sergio Pettis is talented, of that there is no doubt. While most 20-somethings were complaining about trivial social justice issues on Thought Catalog or watching Girls, Sergio Pettis was kicking ass en route to the UFC, showing that he has ample technique and a bright future. The hype wanted us to believe Pettis’ future was now. Fuck the Super Mario Brothers, it was time for the Super Pettis Brothers.

Alas, like with nearly every young, buzzworthy prospect, Pettis faltered. The hype train managed to steamroll over his pedestrian UFC debut, but not so for his follow-up fight against Alex Caceres at UFC on FOX 10. Pettis lost via submission in the third round. Even though the fight was close and well-fought up until the submission, a loss is still a loss.

“He’s just not as good as his brother,” some will say. Others will be harsher, citing Alexander Emelianenko syndrome. “If it wasn’t for his last name, you’d have never heard him; he’s nothing special.”

They’ll be right, but only about the “if it wasn’t for his last name” part.

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UFC on FOX 10 Results: Henderson Wins Questionable Decision Over Thomson


(Luckily, Josh is no stranger to awkwardly intimate encounters. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

The UFC is back on network television tonight with a four-fight FOX broadcast, live from Chicago’s United Center. In the main event, former lightweight champion Benson Henderson attempts to rebound against Josh Thomson, who may earn a title shot with a win here. Plus, heavyweights Gabriel Gonzaga and Stipe Miocic throw bombs until one of them needs to sit down for a while, Donald Cerrone fights some guy he’s never heard of, and Darren Elkins and Jeremy Stephens face off for the right be taken seriously in the featherweight division.

Handling our liveblog of the UFC on FOX 10 main card broadcast is Aaron Mandel, who will be tossing round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and be sure to tell us how you feelin’ in the comments section. Thanks for coming.

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The CagePotato Rapid-Fire: UFC on FOX 10 Main Card Quick Predictions


(You’ll never go wrong betting on a guy who looks like a stunt-double for a low-budget Jamaican remake of ‘Indiana Jones.’ / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

By Shep Ramsey

UFC on FOX 10 takes place tonight in Chi-Town, and it could be a good night for fading superstars to shine bright like a diamond. Fresh off his title-fight loss to Anthony Pettis, Benson “Smooth” Henderson will attempt to get back up in the mix against Josh “The Punk” Thomson, whose April smash-up of Nate Diaz marked his first UFC appearance since he wound up on Yves Edwards’s highlight reel nine years prior. Meanwhile, Gabriel Gonzaga is working his way to another shot at heavyweight gold, and he faces Stipe Miocic in a *you-don’t-really-get-a-title-shot-but-your-next-fight-could-be-big* contest.

Like many experts in our field do, we’re going to break down these UFC on FOX 10 main card fights in whichever way we damn please, spitting out our rapid-fire predictions by leaning heavily on pre-determined notions and gut feelings. Read on, and be sure to visit our “Henderson vs. Thomson” liveblog, which kicks off tonight at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT.

Benson Henderson vs. Josh Thomson

The biggest fight on this card could be the most entertaining as well — unless Benson Henderson decides to do the right thing and use his superior grappling skills to make this an ugly, dominant fight. But Thomson isn’t too shabby himself when it comes to laying and praying himself; his win over K.J. Noons before getting a title shot in Strikeforce was a prime example of what can happen when one partner is just not in the mood to cuddle.

So, maybe it’s going to come down to striking, and unless Thomson lands a game-changing head-kick like he did against Diaz, Bendo should prove to be the quicker striker who throws more when it comes to volume. Anthony Pettis will surely be watching with a close eye, because if Thomson outlasts Henderson, they have a date. And if Henderson wins and T.J. Grant is still concussed, he’s got his own third date against Pettis. And you know what they say about third dates

Winner: Benson Henderson

Method: Unanimous Decision (5 Rounds)

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Don’t Use Eye Pokes Because the Guy Will Kill Your Family

Last time on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week, we covered absurd and downright dangerous (for you, not the other guy) knife defense techniques.

This week, we’re highlighting an amazing character by the name of “Master Wong“—a Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi expert.

To be fair, the techniques in the video aren’t the worst we’ve seen; they’re the standard sort of compliant, “street” self-defense training that’s peddled in poor martial arts schools across the country. What makes Master Wong’s stylings so notable are his incomprehensible accent (Tito Ortiz-level of poor English) and his insane assertions, such as “you can’t knee fucking shit” and his claims about how poking a man in the eye means he’ll kill your family.

This video is worth a watch, trust us. It’s bad martial arts combined with ridiculous engrish—a win-win! He’s got loads of others too. They’re not quite as good as the one above, but are still fun.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

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Catch the ‘UFC on FOX 10: Henderson vs. Thomson’ Weigh-Ins LIVE Right Here Starting at 5 p.m. [UPDATED w/RESULTS]

All twenty-two fighters competing at tomorrow’s UFC on Fox 10: Here You Go, I Guess are set to hit the scales live from the Chicago Theater starting at 5 p.m. EST, so swing by CagePotato to check out the weigh-ins for a card that has been almost unanimously heralded by journalists like Chuck Mindenhall as “It is what it is.” Not since The Guilt Trip reviews have I seen such apathy, yet such disdain!

In the main event if the evening, Ben Henderson will fight for his right to party and not much else. Elsewhere, Gabriel Gonzaga will think he’s a better boxer than Stipe Miocic and break my heart again, not to mention my parlay, as a result. But it’s like my father said right before he was beaten to death by a bookie, “Go big or go-.” The bookie hit him with a crowbar before he could finish.

Live results for the UFC on FOX 10 weigh-ins are after the jump, and make sure to swing by CagePotato tomorrow starting at 8 p.m. to catch our liveblog of the event.

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Friday Link Dump: Steroids From A to Z, Most Frightening New Fighters in the UFC, Stupid MMA Nicknames + More


(Rashad Evans gets submitted by a little girl in “leaked” training vid. Daniel Cormier is gonna have a field day. via authenticsportsmgmt.)

Steroids From A to Z, and How They Work to Improve Athletic Performance (BloodyElbow)

Dana White: ‘I used to beat the living s–t out of Tito Ortiz’ (MMAFighting)

Brian D’Souza Discusses “Shill Em’ All, Part 4″ on MMA Diehards Radio (MMADiehards)

The 10 Most Frightening New Fighters in the UFC Right Now (BleacherReport)

Excellent banner ad placement on the UFC rankings page… (CagePotato/tumblr)

Twitter Mailbag: Looking Ahead to Bendo vs. “The Punk,” and More (MMAJunkie)

Industry Dominance: The UFC and Its ‘Monopoly’ in the MMA Market (MMACorner)

13 Best Body Shot Knockouts in UFC History (EveryJoe)

Gallery: Your Favorite Athletes Clubbing (Complex)

The 18 Best Grilled Cheese Recipes of All Time (HiConsumption)

4 MMA Nicknames So Stupid They’re Awesome (Break)

Get a Fighter’s Physique in 12 Weeks (MensFitness)

The 15 Must-See Sundance Shorts (Film.com)

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BREAKING: Every UFC Title Fight Will Now Determine #1 Pound-for-Pound Fighter in the World


(Fan-made poster by graphzilla)

See, this is exactly why we put a ban on asking Dana White’s opinion about every little goddamned thing. The last time we saw the UFC’s hyperbolic carnival barker, he was making the absurd claim that bantamweight champion Renan Barao would probably become the #1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world if he stops Urijah Faber — a dude who Barao already beat before.

That win would represent Barao’s first defense of his brand-new unified title. Meanwhile, Jon Jones has defended his light-heavyweight belt six times so far, a tally that includes wins against four former LHW champs. But for the purposes of desperately hyping up a mid-level pay-per-view that could end up competing with the Super Bowl, we’ll just pretend that Jones doesn’t exist.

One week later, Dana White is pulling the same transparent bullshit for a different fight altogether:

“[If Weidman beats Belfort] he’s the best. He’s No. 1. How is he not No. 1 pound-for-pound in the world if he beats Vitor Belfort?” White exclaimed. “It’s impossible not to call him the No. 1 pound-for-pound guy.”

You hear that? IMPOSSIBLE! Don’t even try it, ya dummy! When a reporter pointed out that White recently made the same proclamation about Renan Barao, White made a very cogent argument in support of his new stance. Just kidding:

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On This Day in MMA History — Tito Ortiz Told Us How We Feelin’ Right Now at ‘Affliction: Day of Reckoning’


(Props: chaplinshouse)

On This Day in MMA History” pays tribute to some of the more bizarre and infamous moments from MMA’s past. Five years ago today, on January 24th, 2009, Affliction’s short-lived MMA promotion held its second (and final) event at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California. And though “Day of Reckoning” was a memorable card in its own right — featuring Knockout of the Year candidates from Fedor Emelianenko, Vitor Belfort, and Jay Hieron — the event has become legendary for the botched, tongue-tied commentary efforts of Tito Ortiz. The following post was published on CagePotato two days later.

*********


(An enormous head, filled with 12 pounds of cookie dough. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

We just wanted to share these quotes from Tito’s absolutely stunning broadcast debut at “Day of Reckoning,” collected from these threads on the UG:

Sobral/Sokoudjou

“Here we are with Seraldo Babalu, you did an awesome job, saw why you’re a black belt in jiu-jitsu, getting an awesome submission there, I want to tell me what you see, let’s go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring.”

“You showed the dominance by getting the takedown and looking for a choke in that position. We know the weakness that you had, but you actually showed the heart and determination of a champion of how tough of a light heavyweight you really are, here in the Affliction card. What do you think of the future of you, um, future opponents?”

“Yes, and uh, my back will be better in about three months, so I know all the fans would love to see me and you get it on. You know what, you’re an awesome fighter, congratulations tonight. Everybody lets give a hand to Renato Babalu, one of the greatest light heavyweights, of the night.”

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Shill ‘Em All, Part 4: Hustlers, Marks, And the Long Con of Selling Media Coverage


(Look closely, and you can actually see suckers being born every minute. / Photo via Getty / For previous installments of Shill Em’ All, click here.)

By Brian J. D’Souza

Everyone has a vague idea of how three-card Monte works: a street hustler places three cards face-down. A mark is enticed into finding the money card. Using misdirection, subterfuge and distraction, the hustler dupes the mark into picking the wrong card over and over. Sometimes a “shill” aids the hustler by playing the game and making it appear winnable.

The fight game is a similar hustle where many MMA journalists often play the role of the shill. Rather than being independent, certain MMA outlets and journalists are working in concert with the promoter to achieve a specific aim. Often, the promoter is buying publicity for their product, which is fair game considering that running an MMA promotion is a brutal marketplace where only the fittest survive.

Speaking in direct reference to a then-SiriusXM radio personality Scott Ferrall being paid a talent fee to attend UFC shows, UFC president Dana White said, “Believe me, in building this business, we had to do some things.

It’s critical for an event promoter to spend money on the front end — including giving incentives to journalists — so that they can make money on the back end. Sports leagues require massive amounts of capital, as well as leaders capable of executing a clear vision; save for the spectacular Japanese league PRIDE FC that was backed by the yakuza and their dirty money, no one has done a better job of running an MMA promotion than casino magnates Lorenzo and Frank Fertitta, the majority owners of the UFC.

If the mark happens to be the casual fan being steered into buying an MMA card, so be it. Colonel Tom Parker might have paid girls to scream at Elvis’s early shows, but his product held up to scrutiny over time. No one is holding a gun to anyone’s head and forcing them to buy watered down PPV’s or watch lackluster cards.

On the other end, when the mark happens to be the fighters, it’s a much more serious issue. Successful promotions earn tremendous amounts of revenue from pay-per-view buys, television licensing, live gate, merchandise, and other streams. MMA fighters who don’t know or understand their value will continue to be taken for a ride.

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[VIDEO] Don Frye is Back With More Machismo-Fueled Predictions for UFC 169

Don Frye told us that he’d be back after his UFC 168 installment of “Predator’s Predictions”, and since the only lie he ever told was that he’d call your mother the next day, “The Predator” has returned with UFC 169 in his crosshairs this time around.

What’s that, you say? There’s actually a different UFC event going down this weekend on Fox? THE PREDATOR HAS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR MIDDLING CABLE TV CARDS. And if you don’t like how he does business, he’s sure there’s a Designing Women marathon with your name on it playing somewhere, bud.

After opening up this edition of “Predator’s Predictions” by alienating his dissenters as pathetic girlie-men and thanking Seth Macfarlane for bringing back Brian on Family Guy, Frye launches right into his usual mix of whiskey-soaked predictions and occasionally misogynistic insights. A few highlights:

-On Dominick Cruz’s latest injury: “I didn’t know Cruz had a groin.”
-On Ali Bagautinov: “Ali…Boobanov. He’s like the Tazmanian Devil on crack.”
-On Ricardo Lamas: “I remember Lorenzo from the hit TV show Renegade 17 years ago.”
--On Ricardo Lamas, again: ”You say that your favorite technique is ‘whatever wins me the fight.’ In your fight against Jose Aldo, I might recommend a baseball bat or a gun.”
--On Renan Barao: “He looks like Veeter Belfort’s mini-me.”

If your voice doesn’t drop three octaves after watching this video, you’re either a eunuch or already dead.

-J. Jones 

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