stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

January, 2014

UFC Fight Night 35 Aftermath: Rockhold TKO’s Philippou With Body-Kick, Dana White Returns Fire on GSP at Post-Fight Press Conference


(Props: FOX Sports)

Erasing the bitter memory of his unsuccessful Octagon debut, Luke Rockhold began building his own UFC highlight-reel last night at UFC Fight Night 35 with a first-round body-kick TKO of Costa Philippou. Rockhold picked up a $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for the effort. At the post-fight press conference, Rockhold did what every surging middleweight does after a big win — he called out Michael Bisping:

“I’m looking at anyone in the middleweight division to get myself back into (title) position,” Rockhold said. “I already let it be known Bisping’s out there. A lot of people are calling him out, but Bisping went on national TV and told everybody he was the unofficial Strikeforce champion. He calls it a joke and this and that, but I say he’s got bad taste and he needs to pay for it.”

In other bonus news, featherweight Cole Miller won Submission of the Night for his second-round rear-naked choke of Sam Sicilia — which Miller followed up by calling out Donald “Clownboy” Cerrone in the post-fight interview — while middleweights Yoel Romero and Derek Brunson both got $50,000 bumps for FOTN. Highlights from both those matches are embedded at the end of this post.

Romero — who earned his third-consecutive KO/TKO win in the UFC by stopping Brunson with savage ground-and-pound in the third round — claims to have not pooped his pants during the match, despite damning Vine evidence to the contrary. However, Romero can’t deny the dick-punch he landed on Brunson. That was ugly, bro.

In injury news…

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UFC Fight Night 35: Rockhold vs. Philippou — Main Card Results & Commentary


(Luke and Costa face off in front of the wax replica of Dana White that the UFC has been sending to non-essential events. No offense, guys. At least you’re not on Fight Pass. / Photo via Getty)

Look, what can we tell you about UFC Fight Night 35 that we haven’t already expressed via dog GIFs? Luke Rockhold and Costa Philippou are a pair of highly-regarded middleweights who are trying to avoid a two-fight losing streak. Supporting their main event is a worthwhile list of TUF vets (Brad Tavares, TJ Dillashaw, Cole Miller, Sam Sicilia), a former flyweight title challenger (John Moraga), and a fast-rising knockout artist named Yoel Romero. It’s on cable TV, and early enough to watch while you’re eating your salisbury steak. Take it or leave it.

Handling our liveblog of the “Rockhold vs. Philippou” FOX Sports 1 main card is Matt Kaplan, who will be sticking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and if you’re watching along with us, join the conversation in the comments section.

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Squirting on Camera: The 10 Creepiest Lines Jesse Holland Has Ever Written About Brittney Palmer

If you’re not familiar with MMAMania’s Jesse Holland, well, he’s kind of like the Gene Shalit or Pete Hammond of MMA writing, in that he specializes in pun-ridden “articles” with upworthy headlines that are usually bereft of any intellectual or comedic value whatsoever. I realize the irony in saying this just a day after writing an article composed mainly of dog gifs, but there’s a fine line between intentional absurdity and plain corniness (or creepiness) and Mr. Holland has dragged his ass along that line under the false guise of “MMA reporting” for far too long.

You see, when Jesse isn’t cramming as much loathsome and nonsensical puns into an article as humanely possible — puns like “Jugs, not drugs” (while discussing Miesha Tate’s breasts) or “cuckoo for Cuoco’s puffs” (on the Henry Cavill/Gina Carano split) — he’s probably penning alliteration-heavy headlines using sickening, pornography-based puns to lure in the middle school troglodytes who actually find his material humorous. He’s the Peeping Tom version of Eric Holden, essentially, but with a semi-respectable publication to back his self-masturbatory musings.

In any case, one of Mr. Holland’s favorite subjects to cover is that of UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer (or should I say, Brittney Palm-Her), who you might have heard hosts a web series called “Hot & Slow,” which itself is an incredibly lame pun. After reading Jesse’s most recent gag-inducing headline, “Brittney Palmer squirting on camera during FOX ‘Slow & Hot’ painting webisode” we (I) decided that someone had to put an end to his click-baiting agenda or at least call him out on it. Because while CagePotato may be a website that is 50% ring girl galleries and and 50% MMA reporting (okay, 60-40), we at least grant our readers the common courtesy of occasional subtlety.

So join us after the jump as we take a look back at 10 of the creepiest lines Holland has written about Brittney Palmer in the hopes that he will end this MMA charade and just get a job with OMG! Insider already.

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Why the Current PED Testing Policies in MMA Are Bad for the Sport


(My advice? Put on this song, hold each other tight, and remember why you fell in the love in the first place. / Photo via @lorenzofertitta)

By Jon Mariani

Responding to Georges St-Pierre’s news-making claim that the UFC didn’t support him when he did VADA drug-testing for UFC 167, UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta told Yahoo!, “It was extremely disappointing to hear Georges make those comments because I don’t think any organization has embraced drug testing as we have.”

Fertitta also went on to state in an interview with ESPN, “Maybe Georges didn’t understand the level of drug testing Nevada was doing. They are the ultimate authority that handles drug testing, medicals and everything else — and they are very capable.”

The first problem with Fertitta’s statement is that the UFC didn’t exactly embrace drug-testing when GSP tried to bring VADA into the mix. As UFC President Dana White stated, “It’s a little weird,” that St-Pierre wanted the enhanced testing. White went on to say that “He doesn’t have to do it, but I guess he wants to do it. What are you gonna do? Knock yourself out, Georges. Good luck.”

Clearly, that’s not the kind of “support” St-Pierre was looking for.

The larger problem is that when Fertitta says “they are very capable,” referring to Nevada’s athletic commission and drug-testing standards, it couldn’t be further from the truth. The current testing employed in Nevada is a joke, and here’s why…

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The 23 Worst Things About Being an MMA Fan


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

1. Having to explain that the UFC is not the WWE.

2. Boxing vs. MMA discussions.

3. MMA “lifestyle” brands thinking you’re a goon who’ll only wear clothes if it has skulls, wings, or a tribal pattern on it.

4. Hearing casual fans talk about Kimbo Slice every time you decide to catch a PPV at a bar.

5. Hearing non-MMA fans talk about “this rolling around on the ground” every time you decide to catch a PPV at a bar.

6. The obscene cost of being an MMA fan (PPVs, Fight Pass, etc.).

7. Other MMA fans saying you’re not a TRUE fan because…[insert bullshit reason].

8. After the fight scene in a movie or TV show, everyone glares at you because they know you’re about to bash it for how unrealistic it was.

9. Debates about who was the GOAT.

10. People still going on about how awesome Pride was. Yeah, it was awesome, but it’s still dead and it ain’t coming back!

11. Dealing with other “fans” who “train UFC”

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[VIDEO] Gina Carano Returns to the Small Screen in February on Almost Human


(Thanks to CP reader Steven Wong for the tip/image.)

Good news, Taters! Former MMA starlet Gina Carano is making her triumphant return to the world of television and all we can say is Hnnnnnng

Carano, who is coming of a successful turn in Fast and Furious 6*, will guest star on the next episode of Almost Human, the future cop/Robocop buddy cop show on FOX. If the episode promo after the jump is to be believed, it looks like Carano will be playing an emotionless cyborg killing machine that has gone off the reservation…Haywire, you might even say. (*sad rimshot*)

Carano also has two projects currently in the works — In the Blood (a.k.a female Taken) and an untitled Adi Shankar project (a.k.a female Expendables). It’s always nice to see an old friend finding employment, but especially so when that friend is Gina Carano and that work involves corsets and fishnets.

The next episode of Almost Human airs February 3rd on FOX, so join us after the jump for a sneak peak.

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Georges St-Pierre Blasts the UFC for Lack of Drug-Testing Support; Lorenzo Fertitta ‘Disappointed’ By Comments


(The UFC’s French-Canadian company-man has officially left the building. / Photo via Getty)

During a media appearance in Montreal yesterday, former UFC welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre was uncharacteristically candid about his motivations for stepping away from the sport, and how he felt about the UFC not supporting him when he attempted to arrange enhanced drug-testing prior to his UFC 167 title fight against Johny Hendricks.

“It bothered me enormously,” St-Pierre said (in a translation by MMAFighting.com). “That’s one of the reasons why I stopped fighting. Not really to teach them a lesson, because that would also punish me. I wanted to do something for the sport. I love the sport. I see the direction it’s going, and I don’t think it makes any sense. This is stupid.”

“I tried to do something to change the sport,” St-Pierre continued. “Unfortunately, there were other people, for different reasons, maybe for money, in fear of losing money, because if you canceled the fight because someone tested positive there are millions of dollars [lost]. Also, the sport’s image…If you start testing everyone, how many will get caught? I don’t want to say in public because I don’t want to accuse anyone, but the sport’s image will be hurt. Don’t forget, I have internal information. I’m an athlete. I know what goes on, so that disappointed me greatly.”

Later, St-Pierre described the UFC as a “monopoly,” and suggested that he wouldn’t return to competition until the promotion’s drug-testing policy was improved:

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All Fighters Make Weight at ‘UFC Fight Night 35: Rockhold vs. Philippou’ Weigh-Ins

All 24 fighters competing on tomorrow’s Fight Night: Rockhold vs. Philippou card made weight at today’s weigh-ins, which went down at the Arena at Gwinnett Center in Duluth, Georgia at 4 p.m. EST.

Although the event got off to a smooth start, things took a turn for the worse during the main event staredown. For seemingly no reason, Philippou suddenly decided to blind Rockhold with a Three Stooges-style double eye poke (a signature move of his), causing the final Strikeforce middleweight champion to stumble off stage and knock himself unconscious. Stepping in to fight Philippou on extremely short notice will be Mayhem Miller, who promised to “Force-feed that Cypriot his own ass and then drag his assless corpse to the local cineplex” before launching into a series of robot and Batman sounds. Should be a hell of a fight.

That’s a lie. None of that happened. The full weigh-in results for Fight Night 35: Rockhold Miller Lucky Patrick vs. Philippou are after the jump.

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Jason ‘Mayhem’ Miller Re-Emerges in Mostly-Coherent Interview About Unretirement, Forgiveness, And the Uriah Hall Incident


(Props: MMAInterviews.tv)

As Jason “Mayhem” Miller puts it in the above video interview, “2013? Pretty unlucky number for me.” Indeed, the semi-retired MMA fighter and former media personality spent the past calendar year getting arrested, getting arrested, getting arrested, and dropping N-bombs during a public scuffle with Uriah Hall. Now, a humbled (but still pretty kooky) version of Mayhem is training full time with Rafael Cordeiro at Kings MMA, looking for a return to competition, and he has a few things to say about the controversies that have surrounded him recently. Some notable quotes…

On leaving MMA and coming back: “I took some time, I retired, I totally got away from it, and realized the love and the passion that I have for the sport is just undeniable. I realized I love it so much. And the way I am, I got real passionate and jumped right back in. I’ve been here training at Kings for about a year now, and I feel like a new fighter. I’m ready to get on out there. I’m entertaining some offers from some different leagues that are around the globe, and I’m just trying to find my home.”

On who he’d like to fight next [WARNING, MAYHEM AHEAD]: “I don’t know man, I would like to fight Stephen Hawking. I’d like to punch him out of his wheelchair, maybe get him in an armbar. He can’t defend. No one can defend. [*pauses, switches to Stephen Hawking robot-voice*] Ow. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Physics!

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Patricio Pitbull, Daniel Straus Rightfully Pissed About This Whole ‘Straus vs. Curran III’ Thing


(via Pitbull’s Twitter.)

Last night, I decided to jump on a grenade and inform you of everything that was wrong with Bellator’s decision to book a third fight between Daniel Straus and Pat Curran at Bellator 112. That I have somehow managed to avoid being dubbed a “jealous h8r” for my opinion up to this point is a miracle on par with Stefan Struve’s return to sparring, but I digress.

In any case, the main point I outlined in the case against Straus vs. Curran III was that there was a far more interesting (and logical) matchup to be had: Straus vs. Pitbull 2. You see, not only had Patricio “Pitbull” Freire won the season 9 featherweight tournament in November with a first round TKO of Justin Wilcox (the third TKO win in his past 4 fights), but he remains the only man to defeat newly-crowned champion Daniel Straus in Bellator. Throw in the fact that Straus was utterly dominant in his victory over Curran just two months ago and you’d have to be a short-sighted nincompoop to rebook Straus vs. Curran III, right?

Wrong. Bellator booked it, and now Patricio Pitbull is pissed right the fuck off. Which can only mean that he will be forced to fight for Bellator for the rest of his natural life, Amen.

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