Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

March, 2014

Matt Brown vs. Erick Silva, Junior Dos Santos vs. Stipe Miocic Added to May UFC Events


(Brown poses with his two primary investors in Topless Broad FC. / Photo via @IamTheImmortal)

After a poorly-timed back injury robbed him of a chance to fight Carlos Condit in December, Matt Brown will be returning to action on May 10th for UFC Fight Night 40 in Cincinnati. The UFC confirmed yesterday that Brown will headline the event against Brazilian welterweight Erick Silva, who thoroughly styled on Takenori Sato last month at UFC Fight Night 36: Machida vs. Mousasi.

Brown has put together six consecutive wins over the last two years, tying him for the fourth-longest active win streak in the UFC. While it might not be totally logical to match him up against an opponent who’s been steadily alternating between wins and losses during that same time period, you can’t really complain about a booking like this, which pretty much guarantees an insane level of action, and at least one POTN bonus being handed out.

Useless fact: Brown vs. Silva will mark the first time that Brown has competed in his home state of Ohio since his destruction of Pete Sell in March 2009, and the first time that Silva has competed outside of Brazil since his submission win against Charlie Brenneman in June 2012.

In other booking news…

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Why Can’t War Machine Just Get a Motherf*ckin Slurpee? [VIDEO]


(Warning: Language is waaaaaay NSFWProps: YouTube.com/AlphaMaleShit)

Along with his recently launched Alpha Male Shit clothing line, War Machine‘s media empire now includes a YouTube channel where he rants in his car about strangers who he would have beaten up if he wasn’t on probation. War’s latest video blog is above, and it officially places him in the pantheon of batshit car-rant Hall of Famers like Dan Quinn and Nick Diaz.

Here’s the basic premise: WM goes to a 7-11 to satisfy a Slurpee craving, and the clerk on duty immediately asks him to lower his hoodie, since that’s become a rule in places that are often robbed. Not a huge fan of rules in general, War Machine refuses, and literally uses the phrase “I thought this was America.” Another 7-11 worker threatens to call the cops, so War Machine dumps his Slurpee on the floor in protest — you know, like a child would — then leaves. Re-telling the story fills War Machine with the kind of barely contained rage that Werner Herzog should be narrating over.

War Machine gets himself scarily amped up to obtain a Slurpee at a different 7-11 location. He leaves his phone in the car, still recording (“I don’t want evidence in case I freak out”), and then disappears for an agonizingly long two minutes. Anything could be happening in those two minutes. When he returns with his Slurpee, it’s a relief for everyone. The guy who sold War Machine that Slurpee didn’t know how close he came.

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Ranking the Four Most Likely “Huge Announcement” Opponents for Ronda Rousey

As many of us noted following Ronda Rousey‘s quick win over Sara McMann at UFC 170, the women’s bantamweight division is quickly running out of viable contenders. Watching Rousey dispatch any and all opposition has been thrilling these past couple of years, sure, but it has also shown fans just how far above the skill level of her competitors “Rowdy” truly is. And unlike the middleweight division during the Silva era, the women’s bantamweight division is simply too shallow to keep feeding Rousey journey(wo)men and expecting fans to pay the price of admission.

With the division housing their quote unquote “biggest star” rapidly approaching purgatory, the UFC appears to be in dire need of a change-up. That’s where Joe Rogan steps in, as he did during an interview with KROQ’s Kevin & Bean Show (audio above) last Friday, stating that a “huge announcement” regarding Rousey’s next opponent is coming our way:

I can say no more than I’ve already said. I will tell you this, and this is a KROQ exclusive, within the next probably week or so a huge announcement will come about women’s fighting and I’ll be back in [the studio] and we’ll talk some more. It’s going to be crazy. Madness. I wish I could [talk about it now], but I would betray the confidence of my friend and employer.

Knowing Rogan as well as we do (I think Seth bumped into him at an expo one time, maybe?), this can only mean that Rousey’s next opponent is one of four people. Join us after the jump as we definitively rank those opponents in order of probability.

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Reader Roundtable: What Was Your Angriest Moment as an MMA Fan?


(Were you that dumbass who was booing his lungs out at UFC 170? We want to hear from you!)

We haven’t published a reader-submitted CagePotato Roundtable feature in a long time — but every time we’ve tried it, it’s been comedy gold. And so, we figured we’d turn the mics over to the Potato Nation once again. This week’s question: What was your angriest moment as an MMA fan?

For fans of MMA, misery and disappointment come with the territory. But what moment in the sport has left you straight-up furious? Was it a totally botched call by a referee or judge? Ignorant behavior from a big-name fighter or promoter? A blown parlay bet? Maybe talking about it might give you some closure.

E-mail your stories to bgoldstein@defymedia.com by this Friday night at midnight ET. (Please let us know if you don’t want us to print your real names.) We’ll pick a handful of the best ones and run ‘em early the following week. Thanks, guys.

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So Here’s a Video of the (Definitely Staged) Scuffle Between Rampage Jackson and King Mo Lawal at Bellator 110


(Uh-oh, looks like someone fell off the Rockstar wagon. GET OUT OF THE STREETS!!)

We don’t know why this is coming as a surprise to some people, but allegedly, Rampage Jackson and King Mo‘s scuffle at Bellator 110 *might* have been pre-planned. And by “might have,” we of course mean without the slightest hint of doubt whatsoever.

In the main event of what was a pretty decent night of fights at Bellator 110 last Friday, Jackson defeated former Bellator light heavyweight champion Christian M’Pumbu by first round knockout, then proceeded to chug 14 cases of Red Bull off camera (again, allegedly) before conducting his post-fight interview. Old habits die hard, indeed. By the time Jimmy Smith got to Jackson, the electrolytes had already amplified Page’s inherent rage tenfold, causing the former UFC champ to once again blackout and lose his goddamned mind.

After screaming about being “a monster” — although given his history, I think “demigod” would have been more appropriate (*ducks beer bottle*) — Jackson told King Mo, who I believe had been brought into the cage with the Honest-to-God intention of complimenting Jackson on his performance and possibly washing his feet, that he “was next.” For whatever reason, King Mo took offense to Jackson’s correct understanding of a tournament format and engaged Jackson in a sort-of shoving match that was quickly separated by no less than 20 people.

A Nashville brawl it was not, and honestly, the funniest part of the entire incident was watching Jimmy Smith smirk and half-heartedly attempt to hold back Rampage. Unfortunately, like Sonnen vs. Wandy on the TUF set before it, it appears that Page and Mo’s scuffle was all but rehearsed.

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23 Things in MMA We’re Glad We Never Have to Experience Again


(This was a real thing. / Photo via Getty)

By CagePotato.com Staff

1. A Paul Buentello post-fight speech.

2. Anything Kimbo Slice related.

3. A James Toney promo.

4. Nick Serra’s butt-scoots.

5. Fedor vs. Lesnar discussions.

6. Tim Sylvia.

7. Strikeforce vs. UFC debates.

8. PRIDE vs. UFC debates.

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TUF China Finale Results: Here’s What Happened to the Fighters With Wiki Pages


(Photo via Getty)

The UFC’s first TUF season in China is over. Zhang Lipeng defeated Wang Sai to become the first-ever Chinese Ultimate Fighter winner.

But I’m sure most of you don’t really care too much about that. After all, TUF china was a show with a recruitment policy so lax that an 0-0 yoga instructor somehow made it into the cast.

Despite the questionable levels of talent present, there were a few important fights on the card—relevant matches and interesting clashes of styles. Which fights were those? We’re gonna recap them for you.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: How to Stomp Out a Wrestler

Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?

Well, they’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.

And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.

Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

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