Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

May, 2014

Why More Fighters Need to Talk Sh*t (Hint: It Works)


(What are you gonna do against the largest arms in the world, brother? / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

MMA is the ultimate “nice guys finish last” sport. It’s called prize fighting for a reason, and “I respect him; he’s a great opponent” doesn’t sell.

This is no secret. Just look at how Chael Sonnen—a perennial mid-carder who nobody knew or cared about—resurrected his career with carefully executed, bombastic trash talk.

Why am I telling you this if it’s common sense? Because it’s only common sense to people who appreciate MMA for what it is—real-life pro wrestling. Unfortunately, most hardcore MMA fans (and some media members) refuse to see it this way. They either believe in a non-existent code of honor, or an even less corporeal competitive architecture. “It’s a sport,” they maintain. “It should be only about competition. Besides, who wouldn’t want to see the best fighters go at it, even if they have less charisma than a light bulb?” The answer to that question: Most of the country.

There’s a sport with no flash, no glitz, and none of the other maligned “entertainment” trappings of the UFC and the WWE. It’s called amateur wrestling, and nobody watches it. MMA turning into amateur wrestling hurts the fighters. If there’s no viewers, there’s no money. It’s crazy that people still need to be reminded of this, but selling the fight is equally as important as fighting the fight. To quote The Simpsons, “Every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner and half P.T. Barnum.”

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: “27 of the Deadliest Poison-Hand Techniques Ever Devised”

This is the jackpot, Potato Nation. It’s the most god-awful Martial Arts Fail we’ve ever seen.

Before you keep reading, watch the video. Our words can’t do it justice. It epitomizes the unfortunate but ever-present fraudulent side of martial arts. For every legitimate school teaching people how to defend themselves, there are 1,000 schools teaching the kind of complete crap in the video.

Did you watch it yet? Because you really need to.

The guy in the video is no martial artist. He’s a conman who calls himself Ashida Kim. Bullshido.net, a website dedicated to exposing martial arts fraud, performed an in-depth investigation on Kim, who’s real name is Radford W. Davis. In addition to peddling this deadly ninja master bullshit, Kim/Davis also mails out phony martial arts certifications. An investigator from Bullshido even managed to get a certificate saying he was a black belt in Vale Tudo from Kim/Davis.

Feeling like you wanna punch this guy yet? Well, he’s got a plan for that. It’s called the $10,000 Challenge, which includes such stipulations as posting a $25,000 “appearance bond” to make sure you don’t skip town as well as paying Kim $10,000 to show, as well as footing the bill for his lodging and food. Nice.

Oh, and this guy also claims he can levitate. Watch the video of him attempting to do so after the jump.

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Bellator 118 Results: Joe Warren Captures Bellator Interim Bantamweight Title

Bellator 118 is Bellator season 10′s penultimate event. Joe Warren had a chance to claim the interim bantamweight title if he beat Rafael Silva. And that wording is deliberate. Silva missed weight, so if he won, Bellator wouldn’t award him the title. It was only a championship fight for Warren. Semifinal bouts for the welterweight tournament and summer series light heavyweight tournament took place as well.

What fights should you fast forward when you watch this card on your DVR and which ones should you watch intently? Read on and find out.

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Friday Link Dump: UFC Targeting Hunt vs. Nelson, Ronda Rousey Talks Bethe Correia, Superior Death Penalty Alternatives + More


(Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas in its entirety, because this is my link dump and I’ll do as I please. -Danga)

Ronda Rousey: Bethe Correia “Could be a Very Interesting Fight for Me” (MMAJunkie)

Mirko Cro Cop Saves Dog Shot by Hitman (TheUG)

UFC targeting Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson in Saitama, Japan (BloodyElbow)

Ovince St. Preux vs. Ryan Jimmo Slated For UFC 174 (MMAFighting)

Mayweather vs. Maidana: Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather Jr. guaranteed $31.5 million purse for ‘The Moment’ (MMAMania)

The Beaten Path: Aaron Pico Is the Future King of Fighting (Bleacher Report)

5 Delicious Cinco de Mayo Recipes So Easy, Even YOU Can Do Them…(PopHangover)

The Most Entertaining and Successful Coaches in College Sports (EveryJoe)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Five Death Penalty Alternatives That Are Vastly Superior to Lethal Injection (HolyTaco)

The 29 Best Autocorrects Of April 2014! (DamnYouAutocorrect)

The Definitive Ranking Of Spider-Man Movies, From Best To Worst (FilmDrunk)

The 50 Most Bizarre Prom Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

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Another Day, Another Horrific EFC Africa Stoppage [GIF]

Not unlike Madonna in the 1980′s, the referees of EFC Africa just continue to churn out hit after hit after excruciating hit. Not many of us thought they would be able to top last month’s chart-topper, “Winning Fighter Begs Ref to Stop Beatdown (The Bernado Mikixi Song)” but wouldn’t you know it, they’ve went and done it again.

In a featherweight contest between Gareth Buirski and Peter Nyide at EFC Africa 29 yesterday, Buirski pulled off a feat rarely seen in MMA when he elbowed Nyide unconscious with elbows from the bottom. It was a victory that would have surely been lauded by many an MMA fan had it not been overshadowed by the absolutely atrocious stoppage that followed. While the first elbow Buirski threw was enough to render Nyide unconscious, it wasn’t until Buirski had thrown fifteen more that the referee realized that the man lying limp and face down *might* be in trouble. Bravo, sir.

Seriously, Buirski threw fifteen elbows in a row — KO’ing and reawakening Nyide at least three times in the process — before the ref jumped in. Perhaps my favorite reaction to this, the latest in what has become an increasingly brutal series of stoppages under the EFC Africa banner, came from the reddit MMA page on which the gif was originally posted:

Thankfully, it looks like Nyide was somehow able to walk away from this one.

-J. Jones

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Kenny Florian and Renato Laranja’s ‘Heat’ Parody Will Make You LOL Hard, Guaranteed

This settles it: Kenny Florian does the best Al Pacino impression in the world (among retired UFC fighters). Also, if Robert Downey Jr. can get an Oscar nomination for playing an Australian guy playing a black guy, then Rhasaan Orange at least deserves a Webby for playing a Brazilian guy playing Robert De Niro.

The rest of the Renato Laranja Show: Episode 1 is brilliant as well — “Are you a chicken farmer? Because you raised my cock. Porra.” — but honestly, that Heat parody needs to be a full-length movie, with Roy Nelson in the Val Kilmer role.

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Barnburner Alert: Donald Cerrone vs. Jim Miller Booked for UFC Fight Night 45 Main Event, 7/16 in Atlantic City


(Budweiser vs. Bass Pro Shops: A battle for the soul of America.)

Fresh off of their fantastic wins last month, lightweight crowd-pleasers Donald Cerrone and Jim Miller have been booked to face each other in the main event of UFC Fight Night 45, which goes down July 16th at the Revel Casino Hotel in Atlantic City. The match will be scheduled for five rounds, and will air on FOX Sports 1.

“Cowboy” has put together three consecutive stoppage victories since his decision loss to Rafael Dos Anjos last August, and most recently choked out Edson Barboza in the first round of their fight at UFC on FOX 11, picking up yet another performance bonus for his efforts. A week later, Miller scored his own first-round submission against Yancy Medeiros at UFC 172. The win gave Miller his 13th UFC victory, which ties him with Gleison Tubau for the most wins in the UFC lightweight division.

Every Donald Cerrone fight is a guaranteed show-stopper, but putting him against Miller is particularly inspired matchmaking. Not only is Miller a New Jersey native, he’s also one of the nastiest 155′ers in the world when he’s on his game (as he has been lately). At this point, the only other fight that’s been reported for the 7/16 event is a bantamweight match between Aljamian Sterling and Hugo Viana. We’ll keep you posted as the card fills up.

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Crime Doesn’t Pay: UFC Sues New York Man Living With Parents $32 Million for Piracy


(I AM INVICIBL-OH SHIT!)

The UFC’s ongoing war against dirty, no-good, PPV-stealing scoundrels wages on, Nation. Following a promise by Zuffa Executive Vice President and Chief Legal Officer Kirk Hendrick to “pursue the people who don’t want to pay for the goods and services they receive” earlier this year, the UFC has taken action against it’s first major target. His name is Steven A. Messina, a 27-year-old man who lives with his mom and dad in Great Kills, NY, and the UFC’s lawsuit against him is seeking a cool…32 MILLION DOLLARS. (My reaction)

While that figure is absolutely batsh*t bonkers crazypants, just wait until you hear how Messina got caught (via the NY Times):

UFC officials took note of Messina after he became increasingly cocky about his growing online status and referred to himself as the “Provider of Best MMA & Boxing rips online!,” the suit states.

He asked viewers to “Help Me Cap PPV!” through his PayPal account, called “MMA Capping Fund!,” according to the court papers, which allege he was trying to become the king of PPV pirates online.

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Ring Girl Booty-Shot of the Day: Jade Bryce Offers Bruce Lee Some Pizza


(Click image for full-size version. Props: Jade’s Facebook page)

Mmm, yes. A fitting tribute to the man who kinda, sorta, but didn’t really invent mixed martial arts — from the woman who made pizza sexy again.

A few more recent photos of Jade Bryce are after the jump, just because she’s the best.

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Let’s Count the Cringe-Worthy Moments in This Amazing/Awful News Segment About a UFC Gym Opening


(Mad props to Nick Newell for sending this to us!)

1. The official name of this news segment is “Ruben takes on the ‘Black Beast’ at the new UFC gym.” The Black Beast in question is a large African-American dude who is never referred to by name. When you are the Black Beast, you don’t need a real name. [Update: The Black Beast has been identified as UFC heavyweight prospect Derrick Lewis.]

2. We hear Ruben before we see him. But once we do…holy crap, it’s wonderful. Ruben is going for the knockout, baby. He is dressed in male yoga pants, a sleeveless zip-up, and fingerless gloves, because he’s a real reporter. He sounds like a young, Latino Richard Simmons.

3. Close-up on a replica UFC belt, held by some kid. “Here it is, it’s the official UFC belt. I’m not lying! Seriously! Right, Randy?” Randy: “That’s correct, it is the actual UFC championship belt.”

4. After a whole lot of chest pummeling, the white guy with the dreads flips his female partner, and Ruben’s like “OH MAH GAWSH, HE JUST TOOK HER DOWN.” Ruben did not see that one coming.

5. Ruben after witnessing a triangle choke: “I wanna try that before I hit the ring with the Black Beast.” Patience, Ruben.

6. White guy with dreads: “Get on your back.” Ruben: “No, I don’t want to get on my back, you get on your back.”

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