Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

June, 2014

Don Frye’s UFC 175 “Predator Predictions” Features the Glorious Return of His Facial Hair, Rampant Sexism

(*blows bubbles with sippy straw*)

Do you guys remember where you were when you found out that Don Frye had shaved his legendary mustache? I do. I was on the toilet, weeping into my paperback copy of The Fault in Our Stars while blaring Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboy’s Gone?” to drown out the sound of my cries, as has become my standard Sunday morning ritual. It was with tear filled eyes that I opened up CagePotato to see in what fashion Saccaro had managed to shit on the previous night’s UFC event when I was instead greeted by the horrific image of a plain-lippy Don Frye. There he was, the most rugged man to ever walk the face of the earth, with his upper lip just exposed for everyone to see. Like some kind of broad.

The paramedics told me I had lost nearly a quart of blood by the time they kicked my door down.

It was a traumatic day to say the least, but in any case, I’m glad to see that Frye had the good sense to grow his stache back out for his UFC 175 edition of “Predator’s Picks,” which I’ve kindly thrown after the jump for you.


Beatdown of the Day: Little Kid Bitch Slaps Smack-Talking Foe *While* Ghost-Riding Bicycle (#WeekofDanga)

As you might’ve heard (from me, earlier today), BG is on vacation for the week, which can only mean one thing: The #WeekofDanga is now in full swing. That means no rules, no filters, and most likely, no readers. (*self burn-five*)

What it also means is that I’ll be taking any and all suggestions/submissions in regards to potential news items from the few of you readers who haven’t already removed CagePotato from your bookmarks bars in light of this (albeit brief) coup d’etat, via But let’s get one thing straight; I will not be devoting any coverage to fighter beefs on Twitter, mundane fight-bookings, or other such articles that none of you care to read anyway.

Instead, let us use this week to highlight the absurd, the hysterical, and the just plain bizarre aspects of our once-proud sport that we all know and love. Got a sweet muay Thai fight/KO that you think deserves more coverage? Pass it along. A tenuously-connected gallery idea of hot women doing insert workout here? Let me know about it. In short, this is the week that your opinions actually matter, Tater Nation, so let’s make full use of it.

Take the video above, for instance, in which a small child bitchslaps a foe *while* ghost riding his bicycle. I found it in my inbox this morning, and have watched it no less than 15 times since. Is it in anyway related to MMA? Not really, except for that whole “fighting is in our DNA” shtick Daddy Dana seems to love. Is it undeniably entertaining? Absolutely. Therefore, relevant.

What? I’m just following the business model laid out by the UFC in recent years, best known as “Fuck You, Take It.” If you don’t like the content we churn out this week, you’re probably not a real fight fan anyway. Let the #WeekofDanga commence, Taters.

-J. Jones


Gamblers Beware: Ronda Rousey is Currently a 20-1 Favorite (!!) Over Alexis Davis at UFC 175

(Cheer up, Ronda, you got this in the bag. Photo via Teckler)

There haven’t been many of us buzzing about Ronda Rousey‘s co-main event title fight with Alexis Davis at UFC 175 this weekend, if only because it is the least competitive fight to be booked since Bunny, B. vs. the Bull. How the UFC has managed to avoid marketing Davis as “Ronda Rousey’s toughest test to date” despite this is anyone’s guess, but as ESPN’s Brett Okamoto recently pointed out, Vegas bookies are giving Rousey almost an unprecedented edge here. Take a look for yourself

Not Bonnar vs. Silva. Not McKenzie vs. Mendes. Not Cro Cop vs. Sanchez. None of these squash matches hold a candle to the slaughter that Rousey vs. Davis is primed to be. For Christ’s sake, that barista who fought Daniel Cormier was given 12-to-1 odds, and he accepted the fight on less than a week’s notice.

But rather than fall back on the old standby of how fights like Rousey vs. Davis are a clear sign of the UFC’s rapidly dissolving product, I’ve instead opted to compile a list of things more likely to happen than a Davis win on Saturday…


‘Fight Life’ Fight-Picking Contest: And the Winners Are…

A big thanks to everyone who entered last week’s fight-picking contest! Being that next to none of you even stuck around to catch this weekend’s sorry-ass offering of fight cards, the entrants were limited to say the least. In any case, the closest prediction went to Eric Moss, who had Kelvin Gastelum defeating Nicholas Musoke by unanimous decision.

Additionally, Evan Zivin and Stan Jasinski also earned themselves copies of Fight Life for predicting Ricardo Lamas to defeat Hacran Dias via unanimous decision and Ray Borg to defeat Shane Howell via submission, respectively. Unfortunately, we cannot pay you in Dude Wipes, Stan, but don’t let that stop you from receiving the proper treatment your stank ass undoubtedly needs.

To our winners, shoot us your mailing addresses and we’ll get your copies of Fight Life in the mail ASAP. By which I mean early next week, because BG has the DVDs and is on vacation. #WeekofDanga

Thanks again, guys!

-J. Jones


Hide Your Wives and Guns: Thiago Silva to Return to MMA This August

(Photo via Sun Sentinel)

Remember when Thiago Silva was kicked out of the UFC for breaking MMA’s psychotic rampage record (previously held by Quinton Jackson)? You know, the rampage that involved putting a gun into his wife’s mouth, threatening her, threatening to shoot up everyone in a BJJ gym, and more?

Save for some kickboxing classes, Silva hasn’t surfaced much lately…until now.

This August, he’ll be back:

Fight Time Promotions, owned by famed boxer Howard Davis Jr., recently signed the beleaguered Brazilian. They made the announcement via Instagram. They also sent out a press release, which Bloody Elbow posted earlier today:


Chael Sonnen Tests Positive for HGH and EPO, Fails His Second Drug Test [UPDATED]

(This picture is great in retrospect. / Photo via Getty)

Remember when Chael Sonnen failed his random drug test not too long ago (and was removed from UFC 175 and subsequently retired?) Well, he failed the second drug test the Nevada Athletic Commission issued too…and failed it BIG. was the first to report the news.

Get more details after the jump.


Repentance Alert: Pat Miletich Will Apparently Be Inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame

(Photo via Getty)

Earlier today, MMA Junkie unearthed a rumor about Pat Miletich being inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame.

Their theory? Miletich is one the schedule for the UFC’s fan expo next week in Las Vegas. Do you know what else is also on the schedule? Pat Miletich’s UFC Hall of Fame induction ceremony. So I guess we shouldn’t call it a rumor so much as it’s either fact or one of the UFC’s web design interns made a huge mistake.


The 95 Theses of MMA

(Advance upon me, my brother.”)

A Disputation on the Sorry-Ass State of Mixed Martial Arts, And Its Potential Improvement, by Ben Goldstein and Matt Saccaro.

Out of love and concern for the truth, and with the object of eliciting it, we humbly offer these 95 suggestions — nay, demands — to repair the sport of MMA, which has been deteriorating and fading from relevance for at least the past two years. One only needs to look at the pair of woeful UFC cards that are being offered today as proof of the over-saturation and plummeting quality that has turned MMA fandom into a depressing chore at times. (As a show of protest, we will not be giving those events any coverage. Unless something really crazy happens, obviously.)

If you support our efforts toward MMA reformation, please print these 95 theses out and nail them to the door of your nearest Buffalo Wild Wings.

1. Now that the UFC has proven it can hold two events on two continents on the same day, it must cease doing so at once. The overwhelming quantity of UFC shows has made every card seem interchangeable and generic, and has sapped our interest in the sport. More is not always better.

2. If the UFC refuses to reduce its frantic schedule, then its promoters must at least acknowledge that not every event is of equally high importance. UFC 172 was not “the most stacked card we’ve ever done in UFC history“; such violations of truth should be condemned.

3. The Lord Almighty did not intend for us to still be hearing STEMM’s “Face the Pain” on a regular basis in the year 2014. Indeed, this atrocious song must be banished from UFC pay-per-view broadcasts immediately.

4. The same goes for “Fallen,” a.k.a. the butt-rock riffage that closes out the UFC pay-per-views, and leaves us all with a headache before bedtime. You probably didn’t even know STEMM was responsible for that one too, but they are, God damn them.

5. Any MMA promotion that holds its events on Indian reservations and doesn’t bother to drug-test its fighters is not a promotion to be taken seriously.

6. In addition, it does not befit an A-list promotion to make a fighter’s purse dependent on ticket sales. If this is part of your business model, cease the charade of pretending to be big-time.

7. If the UFC claims to be a legitimate sports league, it must stop pretending that former champions never existed, simply because the president of the company has beef with them.

8. And: The president of the promotion must never do unflattering impressions of how female fighters look while wearing dresses.

9. And: The credentialed media in attendance must not laugh at those impressions, for the love of Jesus Christ.


EA Sports UFC Review: No Country for Button-Mashers

By Joshua Vanderwall,

If you grew up on the likes of Street Fighter and Tekken, then you’re probably accustomed to being able to pick up a controller, sight unseen, and still put up at least a bit of a fight against a more experienced player. Button mashing won’t win you any Street Fighter tournaments, but, unless you’re playing at a professional level, you’ll usually be able to get a few good hits in and not feel too bad about yourself at the end of the match.

That’s not so much the case in EA Sports UFC, where button mashing is punished by the game’s mechanics, and even more so by players that have even a semblance of an idea of what they’re doing. UFC is not a fighting game. It’s a rigorous technical exercise behind an entertaining façade of people beating the pants off each other.

UFC is gorgeous on Xbox One, and ostensibly so on PS4. The fighters look frighteningly realistic while they idle, and even during the action of matches it’s almost eerie how lifelike the characters are. Outside of some hilarious technical glitches during bouts, the physics keeps up with the action impeccably well, making for some almost painful viewing experiences as punches connect and drops of sweat and blood fall to the canvas from the injured fighter. The physics and graphics jive so well together, in fact, that you can almost feel the impact as you land a roundhouse to the temple, or absorb a superman punch.

Where the graphics and physics are generally superb, the controls leave something to be desired for less adroit players. The face buttons on the controller are punches and kicks, which is simple enough to grasp. That’s where the simplicity ends.


Friday Link Dump: Fighters Who Will Have Successful Post-Fight Careers, The Return of Yoshihiro Akiyama, Sexy Argentinian Soccer Fans + More

(Metamoris 4: Sonnen vs Galvao Official Trailer)

5 Fighters That Will Have Successful Post-Fight Careers (BleacherReport)

Brendan Schaub Says New UFC Game Can “Suck a D*ck” (BloodyElbow)

Twitter Mailbag: Another UFC doubleheader, for Better or Worse (MMAJunkie)

Akiyama, Yamamoto, Gomi All Set to Compete on UFC’s Sept. 20 Show (MMAFighting)

‘Shady’ Chael Sonnen Admits to Biting Opponent (MMAMania)

Can Dominick Cruz Return to the Top of the UFC’s Bantamweight Division? (MMACorner)

17 Photos of Sexy Argentinian Soccer Fans (HolyTaco)

Top 10 Most Controversial Family Guy Episodes (EveryJoe)

Quick Look Behind the Scenes of Jurassic World (EscapistMagazine)

Honest Trailers: Forrest Gump (Screenjunkies)

Underboob – Cleavage From A Different Point Of View (Radass)

The 41 Most Entertaining Celebrity Tweets This Week (Guyism)

Classic Hollywood Starlets Colorized (20 Pictures) (WorldWideInterweb)

40 People Slapping Each Other in the Face…And Enjoying It (PopHangover)