Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

July, 2014

Signing Cris Cyborg Would Put a Spotlight on the UFC’s Drug Problem — And That’s a Good Thing


(A vision of a terrifying future? / Photo via FightNext)

By Trent Reinsmith

On July 5 UFC women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey positively destroyed #2 ranked contender Alexis Davis. The fight, UFC 175’s co-main event, was Rousey’s fourth UFC title defense, and lasted just 16 seconds, making it the second shortest title fight in UFC history. The fight was so short that the UFC didn’t even make a highlight video available. If they had, it would have been the entire bout.

Leading into the contest, commentators Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg tried to sell fans that Davis was going to be a tough test for Rousey. She wasn’t. Davis landed a total of two strikes during the fight, while Rousey landed 16. Most of Rousey’s strikes came after she kneed Davis to the body and threw her to the ground. Once on the mat, Rousey unloaded a series of punches to Davis’ head, and Yves Lavigne mercifully waved off a fight that had to leave some wondering why the matchup was booked in the first place.

At the post-fight media scrum, UFC president Dana White fielded the inevitable question: When will the UFC sign the one female fighter that many feel will give Rousey some true competition, Cris “Cyborg” Justino? Instead of dismissing the question with a tirade about managers, drugs, weight cutting and death — which is White’s usual play — he turned the question around to the media in attendance and asked if they wanted him to sign Justino to the UFC.

White found only one media member that was opposed to the organization signing the current Invicta FC featherweight champion.

After polling the media, White said he didn’t want to hear the media’s “bullshit” if he does sign Justino. “This shit is going to fucking flip as soon as I sign her, about drug testing and all the other bullshit. It will be the biggest fucking topic. It will be the biggest fucking story for you guys to write on whether she’s — oh my fucking God. The script will flip immediately.”

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#WeekofDanga Caption Contest: And the Winner Is…


(That BJ Penn’s UFC Gym is churning out some killers, I tells ya!”)

Without giving myself too much credit, I think it’s safe to say that the #WeekofDanga was an unequivocal success that is destined to become an annually-celebrated tradition here at CP. Likewise, the #WeekofDanga caption contest churned out a ton of great entries and more fat jokes than your average King of Queens episode. I’m sure Forrest would be proud if he weren’t so steaming mad right now.

But alas, there can be only one winner, as I have but one copy of In the Blood to give. And that winner is B. Donovan Fousel for an updated take on a classic idiom:

One sometimes misses the Forrest for all the trees… And by trees I mean bacon.

I’m not 100% sure if the metaphor even works in this instance, but that’s the kind of pun that forces me to ask the tough questions, you know? For ambition alone I say bravo, Mr. Fousel. Shoot us your mailing address and I’ll get your copy of In the Blood in the mail ASAP. Thanks to everyone who entered!

-J. Jones

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The Trailer For the Next Great MMA Movie, Brutal, Features WWE-Style Clotheslines, Eye-Gouging, and Exposed Bones


(FAAAAAAAALCON PUNNNNNNNNNCH!!)

Let’s face it, there will probably never be a truly great “MMA” movie. Quote unquote “movie-going audiences” (and therefore, the studios that fund these films) don’t give two shits about accurately representing the sport, nor do they care to explore any aspect of MMA other than the fighting itself. To these people, MMA is a spectacle in need of exploiting: take your Karate Kid premise, switch out Ralph Macchio for a couple greased up Abercrombie models, and throw in as many Superman punches as humanly possible. Cut. Print. Never Back Down

Whether its because the filmmakers involved in these movies simply lack any understanding of what mixed martial arts actually is, or because the sport has a tendency to attract the type of dude-bro, mouth-breathing clods that helped make Transformers 4 a success, MMA in film is all but destined to a life of insultingly misrepresentative, focus-grouped tripe like Here Comes the Boom and Hector Echavarria straight-to-DVDs starring actual mixed martial artists. I honestly don’t know which is worse. 

And then, there’s Brutal, an upcoming MMA movie that appears to be equal parts Shutter Island and a wet fart (Sharter Island?). If the trailer you’re about to witness is any indication, Brutal should set MMA back 15 years at the minimum.

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(By the Way, Jens Pulver Retired This Weekend Too)


(Props: Karyn Bryant/MMA Heat)

When BJ Penn announced his retirement last night after getting smashed by Frankie Edgar at the TUF 19 Finale, it signaled the end of an era; yet another UFC legend from the last decade had finally accepted that he couldn’t hack it anymore. But while Penn got to make his final statement on national television to the cheers of an adoring Las Vegas crowd, one of the Prodigy’s greatest rivals made a much quieter exit from the sport.

In an interview with Karyn Bryant published yesterday, Jens Pulver — the UFC’s first-ever 155-pound champion — announced that he was officially retired. Pulver was in town for the UFC Fan Expo, working the FightMatch booth, and had this to say about his competitive status:

I (competed at) 135 for a bit, and I hear everybody saying ‘time to retire’, this and that, and I refused to announce it or say it, but I think I’ve said it like three times today — I’m done. I mean, I’m done. And I think most people are like, ‘Well, you were done like five years ago’.”

It’s the kind of self-deprecating line that we’ve come to expect from the always humble Pulver, but there’s some sad truth to it. Pulver’s career peak came way back in 2001-2002, when he won the UFC’s inaugural “bantamweight” title with a decision win over Caol Uno at UFC 30, then defended it twice against Dennis Hallman and BJ Penn. Since then, his career has been in a long, steady decline, punctuated by just enough bright moments to keep him going.

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Six MMA Trilogies as Pointless as Penn vs. Edgar


(Okay, but can he beat a motivated, featherweight Penn? Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.)

By Seth Falvo

We here at CagePotato.com aren’t the types to say “We told you so,” which is convenient, because we couldn’t even gather enough interest in BJ Penn vs. Frankie Edgar III to mock it beforehand. The fight ended predictably; Penn continued to be no match for Edgar, and “The Prodigy” hinted at yet another retirement from MMA after it was over. Given the trilogy’s one-sided nature and predictable ending, we’re tempted to call it the most pointless trilogy in our sport’s history. But doing so would do the following trilogies a grave injustice:

Bryan Robinson vs. Andrew Reinard

Third Fight: Tuesday Night Fights, 01/24/2002.
Scoreboard: Robinson, 3-0.

A quick glance at the record of every ironman in MMA will reveal multiple victories over fighters who can best be described as “victims” and “warm bodies.” Reinard is Exhibit A: You can watch his entire three-fight career in only forty-eight seconds.

[Author Note: Robinson vs. Reinard is a stand-in for every pointless trilogy that other MMA ironmen have been involved in. Coincidentally, Robinson himself accounts for
seven (?!?) of Travis Fulton's career victories.]

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TUF 19 Finale Results: Frankie Edgar Destroys BJ Penn, Penn (Kind of?) Retires for the Umpteenth Time


(Photo via Getty)

The TUF 19 Finale headlined by BJ Penn vs. Frankie Edgar is now officially a candidate for saddest card of all time–not because of the entertainment value of the card, but because of what happened in the main event.

BJ Penn looked…old. He looked old, slow, and generally terrible. He came out with this bizarre, vertical stance reminiscent of a pose a non-fight fan would do if they were parodying a boxer. It looked really strange. Nor did it suit Penn’s style. His footwork couldn’t keep up with Edgar, nor could his hands. Edgar tagged Penn at will, and even managed to take the Hawaiian down at will. This was doubly depressing because Penn’s takedown defense used to be legendary. Eventually, Edgar landed a prolonged flurry of ground and pound in the third frame, prompting a stoppage.

BJ Penn didn’t fight like BJ Penn, and he admitted to it after the fight. He (rightly) stated he didn’t belong in the cage, and hinted he was going to retire.

But there were other important fights on the card–namely the TUF 19 finals.

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UFC 175 Proves the UFC Can Still Be the “Super Bowl of MMA” When It Wants To Be


(Two of the best fighters on earth about to enter unarmed combat. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

Oversaturation. Lack of stars. Declining interest. Record-low numbers. An ephemeral casual fanbase. A hardcore fanbase that doesn’t care anymore. A resurgent competitor with a new, well-liked, adept president backed by a financial titan.

Those topics have all been under substantial discussion in the past few months–as they should be. Those are the very real, very pressing problems the UFC faces as we enter the second half of 2014.

But last night at UFC 175, the MMA world was able to forget all that–specifically because of the PPV’s main and co-main events.

The co-main event featured UFC women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey taking on challenger Alexis Davis. As Rousey headed to the cage, I took to CagePotato’s Twitter and presciently stated Rousey-Davis would be the most one-sided fight we see all year. That’s exactly what it turned out to be. Rousey vs. Davis made Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie seem well-booked and competitive.

I know what you’re saying, “Why is the UFC-sponsored cash cow Ronda Rousey winning a squash match something to get pumped up about?”

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Watch Dana White’s Reaction to the “Biggest F Up Ever” at UFC 175 [GIF]


(Dana White establishing a neural link with the production truck. / Photo via Getty)

We’d say Ronda Rousey was the hammer and Alexis Davis was the nail at UFC 175, but that doesn’t even come close to how badly Rousey destroyed her Canadian opponent. Instead, we’ll put it this way: Ronda Rousey was a 500 kilaton hydrogen bomb and Alexis Davis the arid desert or frigid Siberian tundra it was tested on.

The fight wasn’t a fight. Calling it a squash match doesn’t even convey how one-sided it was–that’s how one-sided it was.

Since Rousey, at least as far as the world knew at the time, suffered no damage in her 16-second trouncing of Davis, people thought she might be able to save the day at UFC 176, a card desperately in need of a main event.

One of the people who thought this was a UFC production truck employee. During Rousey’s post-fight interview, Rogan claimed the truck asked him to inquire as to whether Rousey would want to fight at UFC 176. She was friendly but gave a diplomatic non-answer, stating she needed knee surgery and it depended on what her coaches said.

Dana White, however, was not so friendly about it…

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Here Are Some Pics of Ronda Rousey’s and Uriah Hall’s Nasty Injuries


(Photo via Getty)

UFC 175 was a great card, but its gravitas was lessened if you were among the squeamish.

What happened?

We’ll start off with the least serious injury first: Ronda Rousey’s hand stitches.

Conceptualizing how Ronda Rousey could’ve possibly gotten injured in her 16-second OBLITERATION of Alexis Davis is beyond the mental faculties of mid-tier MMA bloggers. Somehow it happened though. Rousey hurt her hand, and even had stitches on it by the end of the right. Joe Rogan stated this was why she couldn’t headline UFC 176 in August.

See two photos of the injury that have been circulating on Twitter after the jump…

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UFC 175 Results: Weidman Decisions Machida, Rousey DESTROYS Davis


(This 4th of July weekend, let’s declare our independence from “Machida drinks pee-pee” jokes. #cagepotatoban / Photo by Esther Lin for MMAFighting.com)

When UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman knocked out Anderson Silva last July, fans called it a fluke. When Weidman snapped Silva’s leg by checking a kick in their rematch, fans called it a fluke again. Tonight at UFC 175 in Las Vegas, Weidman has the opportunity to prove that his title reign is the real deal when he takes on Lyoto Machida, who could become just the third fighter in UFC history to win a belt in two different weight classes.

Also on tonight’s main card, bantamweight baroness Ronda Rousey will publicly execute Alexis Davis, and Stefan Struve returns to action against Matt Mitrione. Plus: A couple of prelim-caliber fights that somehow creeped onto the PPV due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control.

Fresh off his liveblog of the last UFC PPV (sorry about that, dude), our friend Barry “Bear” Siragusa is BACK in the saddle agaaaain, and will be posting round-by-round results from the “Weidman vs. Machida” pay-per-view broadcast after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section or on twitter @cagepotatomma. Thanks for coming.

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