Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

October, 2014

The UFC Needs to Massively Scale Down The Amount of PPVs Each Year


(“PPV buys are higher than ever, dummies. These goofy Internet fucks know NOTHING. Everything is fine.”—Dana White doing his best impersonation of this guy. / Photo via Getty)

By Mike Fagan

Cain Velasquez became another victim (again) of the UFC’s so-called “injury bug,” pulling out of UFC 180 with a knee injury. This is great news for people who want to see a weirdo holding a UFC heavyweight title as Mark Hunt stepped in to fight original challenger Fabricio Werdum. This is bad news for fans who want to watch the greatest heavyweight talent in the sport since Fedor Emelianenko. It’s horrible news for the UFC, who set up this event in Mexico City to both help cultivate the Mexican market and provide a similar atmosphere for Velasquez that Conor McGregor received in Ireland earlier this year.

It’s another blow to the UFC’s pay-per-view business. UFC Chairman and CEO Lorenzo Fertitta told Sports Business Daily that “about 80 percent” of fights they wanted to put on have been cancelled. That’s probably an exaggeration (at least if we’re looking at the entirety of the UFC’s matchmaking), but the reality isn’t much better. Of the 14 events including and between UFC 168 and UFC 181 (including the cancelled UFC 176), only five have escaped an injury to a fighter in either the main or co-main event. That is, 64% of UFC PPVs within that timeframe have had alterations or cancellations to one of the featured bouts at the top of the card.

Combined with the loss of Georges St-Pierre (quasi-retirement) and Anderson Silva (wishboned leg), the injuries at the top of marquee events have led the UFC to its worst year on pay-per-view since 2005. In 2005, the UFC ran six pay-per-view events for a total of 950,000 buys and an average of 158,000 per event. This year hasn’t been that bad (2.22M total buys/277,500 per event), but that’s far below the “down years” of 2011-13. (It should be noted that those “down years” are in line with the total PPV business the UFC did prior to the 2009-10 Lesnar Era.)

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Cutting Through The Bullsh*t: UFC 179 Edition

By Alex Giardini

UFC 179: “Aldo vs. Mendes 2” proved to be exactly what we expected it to be, and that was a one-fight boxing card with a scintillating main event for the ages. The “greatest featherweight fight in history” was nothing short of amazing, with Jose Aldo defeating Chad Mendes for the second time after knocking out “Money” at UFC 142 almost three years ago. The battle was full of wild punches, eye pokes, a lot of heavy breathing, and at times, flying shit that didn’t land.

With a certain “joker” sitting cageside, let’s examine UFC 179, and why it was great and equally pathetic…

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UFC 179: Aldo vs. Mendes 2 — Main Card Results & Commentary


(“Alright guys, kick some ass tomorrow night and give all these fans a great fuc-HOLY CRAP LOOK AT CONOR‘S CUFFLINKS.” / Photo via Getty)

Two years and nine months after their controversial first meeting, Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes are once again throwing down for the UFC featherweight title in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, this time at the Maracanãzinho. But that’s only the main attraction at UFC 179 — tonight’s card will also feature Phil Davis vs. Glover Teixiera, and…well, not a whole lot else. It isn’t exactly a must-buy PPV, but that’s why you have us, right?

CagePotato liveblogger Alex Giardini will be posting live round-by-round results from the main card after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page for all the latest UFC 179 results, and hit us with your own thoughts in the comments section or on twitter @cagepotatomma. Thanks for stopping by.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Obese Russian Jedi Knight Teaches You How to Fight

We don’t have a ton of information to go on in regards to this week’s Martial Arts Fail. All we know is that a guy named Lev Ivanov (not THAT Lev Ivanov) uploaded this video (and a bunch of others) to Facebook, claiming they’re a badass example of the martial art Systema. The video itself is pretty great. It’s just some fat dude living out his fantasy of being a super awesome Jedi and flinging padawans around with the force like it’s nobody’s god damn business.

A quick Google search for “Lev Ivanov systema” only yielded this Facebook page and other Facebook pages sharing these videos — and then a ton of links to the more famous Lev Ivanov, a Russian ballet dancer.

But we urge you to watch all of this dude’s videos because they’re all equally horrific. There’s one after the jump that’s arguably even worse than the one above.

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Bellator 130 Fail-GIF: Bobby Lashley’s Opponent Flops to Mat, Loses


(Props: ZombieProphet)

We know that some of you think we’re die-hard Bellator haters, simply because we have no problem calling a garbage show a garbage show. But believe us, we don’t go out looking for ways to embarrass America’s #2 MMA promotion — this stuff just has a way of finding us.

Like tonight at Bellator 130, for example. We were prepared to give Bobby Lashley a respectful pat on the back for running through his fifth consecutive non-Wiki opponent. But it was the way Lashley won that made us shake our damn heads.

The former WWE star and current TNA attraction faced off against undefeated British heavyweight Karl Etherington, who had come into the fight with a 9-0 record, and all wins coming in the first round — seven of which were earned in under a minute. On paper, Etherington is no can. He was also billed as a judo black belt, which is kind of hard to believe when you watch the GIF of the finish, in which the Brit tries to pull Lashley to the mat, loses his grip, and flops onto his stomach where Lashley bashes him until Etherington taps to strikes. Not exactly Rousey-esque.

For God’s sake, Coker, it’s time to give Lashley one of your real heavyweights. Like…uh…um…Joey Beltran? I have no idea. This is about as good as heavyweight MMA gets in Bellator, unfortunately. Full Bellator 130 results are after the jump, with links to GIFs of the finishes courtesy of the Zombie. Short version: Emanuel Newton defended his title against that guy, and Marloes Coenen won her Bellator debut against some lady.

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Friday Links: UFC 179 Weigh-In Results, War Machine’s Latest Jail Letter, Cung Le Demands an Apology + More


(“The Night Earnest Lost His Sh*t at the Kumite” — classic karate footage, via MMALatestNews)

Three Fighters Miss Weight at UFC 179; Scott Jorgensen Fined (MMAJunkie)

Cain Velasquez Has Successful Surgery, Hopes for March Return (MMAFighting)

War Machine Tweets From Jail, Asks Fans Not to Harass Christy Mack (BloodyElbow)

Cung Le Calls for ‘Rightly Owed’ Apology From UFC Following Mishandled HGH Test (MMAFighting, again)

Details: Anthony Johnson Due Back in Court Next Wednesday for Restraining Order Hearing (BloodyElbow, again)

The MiddleEasy WWE Hell in a Cell Preview (MiddleEasy)

The 50 Coolest Celebrity Photos of All Time (WorldwideInterweb)

Adam Sandler’s Story of Trying to See Shaq’s Penis to Conan Got Animated (PopHangover)

The Live-Action Halo TV Show Gets its First Trailer (TheEscapist)

Jaylen Fryberg Named as Marysville-Pilchuck High School Shooter (EveryJoe)

Top 4 Models To Follow On Instagram (VFD Marketing)

Creepy Halloween Costumes That Will Give You the Chills (22 Pics) (Radass)

Truly Ridiculous Superstitions From Around The World (DoubleViking)

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Conor McGregor vs. The Haters: UFC Fan Q&A in Brazil Turns Hostile [VIDEO]


(Any time you need a security detail to do a live interview, you’re gonna have a bad time. / Props: UFC)

Since UFC featherweight Conor McGregor is in Rio this weekend to mean mug at Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes at UFC 179, the promotion decided to book him for a fan Q&A at the Maracanazinho Gymnasium. Yes, the UFC had an Irish superheel do a live show in front of a bunch of Brazilians who hate him, and yes, it was kind of a fiasco.

As Helwani summed it up: “This is like Andy Kaufman in Memphis. They hate him and he’s eating it up…Never experienced something like this. Basically every fan is coming to the mic to tell Conor how much they hate him.” Here are some highlights…

0:44: McGregor tells the crowd that the “Brazilian mamacitas” like his hair.

3:45: “It was your MOTHER.”

4:28: “The next time Jose steps into the Octagon after Saturday night, it will be to face me.” The crowd cheers, then starts chanting something that is either “Aldo” or a death threat.

6:49-7:13: One of the attendees goes on a rant that the translator doesn’t even try to pass along to McGregor, perhaps out of fear. Eventually, he huddles up with McGregor to give him the basic gist of what was said.

8:15: The guy is still talking. Paula Sack attempts to restore order. McGregor never responds to what was said and the next fan steps up to the mic.

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CagePotato Roundtable #34: What is the Single Worst Tattoo in MMA?


(And this debate is ALLLLLLLL OVVVERRRRR!!!)

Don’t let the “A” in MMA fool you, mixed martial arts fighters are *not* artists…at least, not  in the traditional sense of the term. Look no further than the hilariously atrocious inkwork that so often adorns their bodies for proof of this. Between the non-tribal tribal arm bands, the last name tramp stamps, and the ill-advised branding attempts, MMA fighters (and their fans — see above) sport some of the worst tattoos you’ll ever see outside of a prison cell. But who has the worst tattoo of them all? The CagePotato Roundtable investigates… 

Ben Goldstein

Matt Horwich‘s musical pencil is like something out of a nightmare. It’s a bunch of unrelated visual signifiers held together by an inscrutable logic, and the only thing being conveyed is dread. You wake up sweating after seeing this thing, and you tell your wife, “Shit, I had that dream about my stepfather again, but this time he was a pencil,” and she looks at you, trying to feign sympathy, but the apparition simply can’t be verbalized. Words will never do it justice, because it’s so much more than just “pencil, musical notes, angry face,” it’s what the pencil represents. That goddamned abusive drunk piece of shit, who hated himself because he couldn’t write songs like Neil Diamond, so he took it out on you and your mom. That face. You could put it on a cantaloupe, a hammer, the front of a steamboat, and it would still be him.

Look, I get it, Matt Horwich is eccentric. His concept of reality is not the same as yours. I’m trying to avoid judgment here, but I just can’t relate to the sort of mind that would put this on his body. It’s awful. A worn-down pencil with a ragged eraser. A face devoid of most human characteristics. And three notes — whole note, half note, quarter note! — flying upwards. It’s not a singing pencil. It’s a scowling pencil with musical notation ejecting from the end that is responsible for deletion, not creation. It’s a contradiction, and it’s unsettling. The pencil seems to be straining to get these notes out, and for what? To express that the artistic process is torture? Does the pencil wish it was a violin instead? Does Matt Horwich even remember getting this tattoo, or did it just kind of appear one day? You’re seeing it too, right? The pencil with the face? I’m not crazy, am I?

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Great Job, Nevada!: Vitor Belfort Has Been Drug Tested Exactly Zero Times Since Being Re-Licensed by NSAC


(Well, the visual evidence is definitely on Belfort’s side.)

Back in July, UFC middleweight Vitor Belfort went before the Nevada State Athletic Commission to answer for his failed drug test for elevated testosterone in February. It went pretty well, which is completely unsurprising since a big-money fight against Chris Weidman hung in the balance. Belfort was given a conditional license, and his title challenge against Weidman was immediately booked for December 6th in Las Vegas.

But NSAC commissioner Anthony Marnell left Belfort with this dire warning: “[W]e’re going to drug test you to the day you retire…We, in my opinion, should be in and around your career until the day you call it quits.”

Hell yeah! Nevada is gonna be up in them guts, son! [Ed. note: Gross.]

Except, no, not really. The truth is, Belfort hasn’t been drug-tested at all (!) since July 23rd, and the NSAC has no intention of testing him before his fight against Weidman, since that fight will now likely take place in California in late February at UFC 184. MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani breaks it:

On Wednesday, MMAFighting.com spoke to NAC executive director Bob Bennett, who said he currently has no plans in place to randomly test Belfort because the UFC recently informed the commission that the Weidman vs. Belfort fight would probably take place in California next year. (Note: the UFC has yet to publicly announce the official date and location of the title fight, however, UFC president Dana White recently said it would happen in February.) Bennett also said the commission had yet to test Belfort, despite the fact that the title fight was official for two months before Weidman had to pull out. Weidman confirmed he had not been tested, as well.

Bennett was confident that California State Athletic Commission executive officer Andy Foster “will spearhead” the Belfort testing, if the fight does in fact end up in California.

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MMA’s Last Taboo: Sexual Abuse and the Sport’s Silent Victims


(“The reason I put it into the book is there are a lot of people that have a secret like this…and if that’s weighing you down, then get rid of it.” / Frank Shamrock on his own experience with sexual abuse)

By Brian J. D’Souza

The storylines emerging from the latest all-female season of The Ultimate Fighter are the usual potpourri of banal tripe: Angela Hill passes gas; Felice Herrig is disliked by her cast mates; Carla Esparaza has a crush on Urijah Faber, and so forth.

As much as the search for the UFC’s first flyweight champion should make headlines, there’s a darker undertone to the proceedings that Oprah Winfrey would be much more suited to handle than FOX media personality Karyn Bryant—the issue of sexual abuse and how it relates to MMA.

Outside of mentions like former UFC champion Frank Shamrock revealing he’d been sexually abused in his groundbreaking autobiography Uncaged, overall, there has been little or no press on MMA athletes who have been sexually abused. The moratorium on coverage might be because MMA is a relatively new sport; it might be because journalists feel uncomfortable asking these kinds of personal questions or it may be an attempt to protect the victims. Either way, the decision to open up lies solely with the athletes.

Athletes in other combat sports, like boxing, have talked openly about their experiences with sexual abuse. Prior to the 2012 Olympics, USA Boxing president Hal Adonis caused a massive ripple effect when he was quoted in the New Yorker as saying “Half of our girls have been molested; half of our girls are gay,” of the US women’s boxing team.

While Adonis faced widespread condemnation and was suspended for two years in the wake of his insensitive and politically incorrect comments, several Team USA female boxers have told their stories of personal tragedy: lightweight Queen Underwood spoke about being molested by her father to the New York Times in February 2012; flyweight Tyrieshia Douglas told the New Yorker that she’d been beaten and raped in foster care; middleweight Claressa Shields—the only US boxer to win a gold medal at the 2012 games—revealed to Essence magazine that she’d been raped by a family acquaintance as a child.

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