(Easy there, Dave. One second it’s doing your job, the next it’s a lawsuit. via Getty)
By Sam Stilson
Well if we learned anything from UFC Fight Night 61, it’s that MMA is perhaps the most unpredictable sport in the world. That, and Bigfoot Silva is slowing shrinking and will soon be nothing but an Easter Island statue made of glass.
The fact that 10 of 11 underdogs won last week has surely given some hope to the massive long shots featured in both the main and co-main events of this weekend’s UFC 184 card. But confidence is hardly enough when facing the best of the best in the women’s division (though this guy might disagree).
Let’s take a look at who the money-makers are for UFC 184.
My arm hurts, and my brain is nearly empty. After six months of thinking about nothing but a 16 second fight, it’s hard to envision tackling a new project. So instead of making more artwork, Cage Potato has given me the opportunity to tell you a bit about how I made this one.
Ladies and gentleman, the women’s heavyweight division. Where breaks are taken mid-fight to adjust loose-fitting sports bras. Where the referees don backwards hats. Where the only thing that’s thin is the talent.
You know what, despite what I’ve just written, I would actually like to applaud these women for their courage, commitment, and surprisingly impressive cardio. (I’m sorry, I literally can’t help myself.)
After the jump: Round 2. Yes, there is a round 2. Ish.
(Looks like Andy Serkis just found himself out of a job for the Lord of the Rings reboot. Props: r/MMA)
If you’ve been watching the excellent UFC 184 Embedded series thus far, chances are that you’ve been thoroughly entertained by the-GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT THING BEFORE ME.
Captured by r/MMA user lrkr486, the Gollum-esque looking creature pictured above is apparently Expendables star Mickey Rourke, who we can assure you definitely isn’t, as one commenter suggested, “on the heels of a three week crack binge.” It’s more like an eight to ten week binge for sure.
Rourke told the cameras in episode 2 of Embedded that he met Ellenberger while training for a fight in Russia (which, LOL) around the same time Jake was training for a fight of his own, and the two have become buddies in the time since. That being the case, perhaps now’s the time for Ellenberger to gather Rourke’s other closest friends around and hold an intervention for whatever the Hell is happening to
After the Jump: The first 3 episodes of UFC Embedded, via the UFC’s Youtube channel.
(We hear that if you play that song backwards on loop, it lines up perfectly with the Wizard of Oz, maaaaaaan.)
Disclaimer: Guys, I am really digging the articles you’ve been sending in, but especially these Onion-style pieces ala “Ultimate Roided Fucking Killers League.” Here is another such article that’s just as hilarious. — Jared
By CP Reader Scott Johnson
Off the heels of the major announcement made by the UFC last Wednesday, the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) has decided to follow suit with a groundbreaking decision of their own. Beginning June 30th, NSAC will begin implementing a new drug testing policy upon itself in the hopes that it will curb the erratic, irrational behavior that has long plagued its decision making process. (See: everything from the past month)
The new policy will see representatives of the NSAC, which includes referees, judges and commission members, be subject to year round random drug tests as well as mandatory testing prior to any events or hearings. These new changes are expected to help to eradicate the poor decisions that have adversely affected all aspects of MMA.
“After reviewing the hearing that took place on February 17th of 2015, it was clear that changes needed to be made to ensure that the integrity and good name of the Nevada State Athletic Commission would remain intact,” said Francisco Aguilar without a hint of irony or self-awareness in his voice.
By now, you’ve probably seen the video of UFC/Bellator veteran Josh Neer brutalizing Patrick Martin, a non-professional fighter who was talking a whole heap of mess to Neer on the social medias, in his Iowa-based gym. Reactions have ranged from “Dude got what was coming to him” to “Neer is a scumbag who should be brought in on assault charges”, so we figured we might as well weigh in on the story in the most cynical way possible. Starting with…
The original lineup of UFC 184 had fans and media members alike spewing the usual hype terminology (“incredible”, “awesome”, “more stacked than your mom”, and so on) until a plethora of injuries left the card in tatters. Still, UFC 184 features a pretty solid main event and a handful of at least watchable fights, so what are you complaining about, you buncha nerds? IF THE UFC THROWS YOU A BONE, THEY DON’T WANT TO KNOW IF IT TASTES GOOD OR NOT.
Sorry about that; I guess those Dana White negotiating tapes are really starting to pay off. The point is, an event this…lukewarm doesn’t really require one to write huge blocks of tedious text recapping each fighter’s recent matches and predicting how they will win this weekend. So instead, I’ve decided to try out something new and compile an A-to-Z list previewing each and every aspect of UFC 184. Join me?
When I was a kid, my favorite video game was Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. What I loved most about the game was progressing through the rogue’s gallery of fighters and finally becoming champion, because it was only after you became champion that you got to greatest aspect of Punch-Out: The “Dream Fight” with Iron Mike himself. It was the original superfight before the term superfight ever existed.
The recent announcement of the boxing “Super/Dream Fight” between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather finally happening (albeit 5 years too late) has once again gotten us MMA fans talking about what our equivalent could be, and on top of that, what actually makes a fight a “Super Fight” and not just a big fight, championship fight or other random main event.
Usually when I ask that question, it’s in the wake of a pay-per-view and I’m wondering aloud at what’s next for the fighters who competed on it. This time around, I’m talking about something that affects ALL mixed martial artists in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.