Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

February, 2015

Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 184: Rousey vs. Zingano’ Edition


(Easy there, Dave. One second it’s doing your job, the next it’s a lawsuit. via Getty)

By Sam Stilson

Well if we learned anything from UFC Fight Night 61, it’s that MMA is perhaps the most unpredictable sport in the world. That, and Bigfoot Silva is slowing shrinking and will soon be nothing but an Easter Island statue made of glass.

The fact that 10 of 11 underdogs won last week has surely given some hope to the massive long shots featured in both the main and co-main events of this weekend’s UFC 184 card. But confidence is hardly enough when facing the best of the best in the women’s division (though this guy might disagree).

Let’s take a look at who the money-makers are for UFC 184.

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“Gone In 16 Seconds” — An Animated Short by Chris Rini

By Chris Rini

I am dead tired.

My arm hurts, and my brain is nearly empty. After six months of thinking about nothing but a 16 second fight, it’s hard to envision tackling a new project. So instead of making more artwork, Cage Potato has given me the opportunity to tell you a bit about how I made this one.

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Behold, the Worst WMMA Fight of All Time


(Major props: takedownmma via  r/MMA)

Ladies and gentleman, the women’s heavyweight division. Where breaks are taken mid-fight to adjust loose-fitting sports bras. Where the referees don backwards hats. Where the only thing that’s thin is the talent.

You know what, despite what I’ve just written, I would actually like to applaud these women for their courage, commitment, and surprisingly impressive cardio. (I’m sorry, I literally can’t help myself.)

After the jump: Round 2. Yes, there is a round 2. Ish.

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Thank You, MMA Gods: Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock to Headline June 20th Bellator Event


And there’s PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. (*cries*)

When it was announced that Bellator had signed Kimbo Slice after a five year hiatus from the sport, we were confused.

When we tried handpicking who he should fight for his big debut, we were cautious, but hopeful.

When Bellator broke the news that Slice would be fighting Ken Shamrock — 51 year-old, bare-knuckle boxing, security guard to the stars(ish) Ken Shamrock — earlier today, we fell to our knees and thanked the Gods, for a great blessing had been bestowed upon us.

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Screengrab of the Day: Mickey Rourke Is Slowly Turning Into Your Aunt


(Looks like Andy Serkis just found himself out of a job for the Lord of the Rings reboot. Props: r/MMA)

If you’ve been watching the excellent UFC 184 Embedded series thus far, chances are that you’ve been thoroughly entertained by the-GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT THING BEFORE ME.

Captured by r/MMA user lrkr486, the Gollum-esque looking creature pictured above is apparently Expendables star Mickey Rourke, who we can assure you definitely isn’t, as one commenter suggested, “on the heels of a three week crack binge.” It’s more like an eight to ten week binge for sure.

Rourke told the cameras in episode 2 of Embedded that he met Ellenberger while training for a fight in Russia (which, LOL) around the same time Jake was training for a fight of his own, and the two have become buddies in the time since. That being the case, perhaps now’s the time for Ellenberger to gather Rourke’s other closest friends around and hold an intervention for whatever the Hell is happening to

After the Jump:  The first 3 episodes of UFC Embedded, via the UFC’s Youtube channel.

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NSAC to Begin Implementing Intensive Drug-Testing Procedures…on NSAC


(We hear that if you play that song backwards on loop, it lines up perfectly with the Wizard of Oz, maaaaaaan.)

Disclaimer: Guys, I am really digging the articles you’ve been sending in, but especially these Onion-style pieces ala “Ultimate Roided Fucking Killers League.” Here is another such article that’s just as hilarious. — Jared

By CP Reader Scott Johnson

Off the heels of the major announcement made by the UFC last Wednesday, the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) has decided to follow suit with a groundbreaking decision of their own. Beginning June 30th, NSAC will begin implementing a new drug testing policy upon itself in the hopes that it will curb the erratic, irrational behavior that has long plagued its decision making process. (See: everything from the past month)

The new policy will see representatives of the NSAC, which includes referees, judges and commission members, be subject to year round random drug tests as well as mandatory testing prior to any events or hearings. These new changes are expected to help to eradicate the poor decisions that have adversely affected all aspects of MMA.

“After reviewing the hearing that took place on February 17th of 2015, it was clear that changes needed to be made to ensure that the integrity and good name of the Nevada State Athletic Commission would remain intact,” said Francisco Aguilar without a hint of irony or self-awareness in his voice.

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Four Brief Thoughts on Josh Neer’s Gym Fight Video and the Ensuing Investigation


(Still a better fight than Dan Kelly vs. Patrick Walsh.)

By Jared Jones

By now, you’ve probably seen the video of UFC/Bellator veteran Josh Neer brutalizing Patrick Martin, a non-professional fighter who was talking a whole heap of mess to Neer on the social medias, in his Iowa-based gym. Reactions have ranged from “Dude got what was coming to him” to “Neer is a scumbag who should be brought in on assault charges”, so we figured we might as well weigh in on the story in the most cynical way possible. Starting with…

1. Dude *did* have it coming to him

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UFC 184: A Complete A-to-Z Preview

By Nasir Jabbar

The original lineup of UFC 184 had fans and media members alike spewing the usual hype terminology (“incredible”, “awesome”, “more stacked than your mom”, and so on) until a plethora of injuries left the card in tatters. Still, UFC 184 features a pretty solid main event and a handful of at least watchable fights, so what are you complaining about, you buncha nerds? IF THE UFC THROWS YOU A BONE, THEY DON’T WANT TO KNOW IF IT TASTES GOOD OR NOT.

Sorry about that; I guess those Dana White negotiating tapes are really starting to pay off. The point is, an event this…lukewarm doesn’t really require one to write huge blocks of tedious text recapping each fighter’s recent matches and predicting how they will win this weekend. So instead, I’ve decided to try out something new and compile an A-to-Z list previewing each and every aspect of UFC 184. Join me?

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The Myth of the MMA “Super Fight”

By Ryan Anderson

When I was a kid, my favorite video game was Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. What I loved most about the game was progressing through the rogue’s gallery of fighters and finally becoming champion, because it was only after you became champion that you got to greatest aspect of Punch-Out: The “Dream Fight” with Iron Mike himself. It was the original superfight before the term superfight ever existed.

The recent announcement of the boxing “Super/Dream Fight” between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather finally happening (albeit 5 years too late) has once again gotten us MMA fans talking about what our equivalent could be, and on top of that, what actually makes a fight a “Super Fight” and not just a big fight, championship fight or other random main event.

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The UFC and PEDs: Where Do We Go From Here?


(Photo via Getty.)

By Chris Huntemann, Columnist

Usually when I ask that question, it’s in the wake of a pay-per-view and I’m wondering aloud at what’s next for the fighters who competed on it. This time around, I’m talking about something that affects ALL mixed martial artists in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

The UFC announced last week that it will implement far stricter, far more comprehensive drug testing in the wake of fighters like Anderson Silva and Hector Lombard failing tests for performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs), while Jon Jones and Nick Diaz failed tests for cocaine and marijuana, respectively.

Increased drug testing and harsher penalties can only help the UFC, and mixed martial arts in general. But what brought on this increase in failed tests?

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