Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

March, 2015

The Only Video Worth Seeing Today: Joanna Jedrzejczyk Arrives in Poland to Raucous Reception

In terms of the news cycle, today would be one of those days that we in the MMA writing biz refer to as “two ducks fucking on a rubber pond.” I never quite understood how that phrase applies to anything really, but the point is that it’s something of a dead zone out there. Sure, we could tell you that one of “the world’s most notorious UFC pirate” was finally caught, or that Reza Madadi is once again free to pursue a life of Snatch-like escapades, but you don’t really care about any of that, do you?

So instead of reading up on all that nonsense, why not just check out this video of newly-crowned women’s strawweight champion Joanna Jedrzejczyk being greeted by a raucous crowd of media, family, and friends upon arriving home in her native Poland? Joanna might not have received the full fledged mariachi band treatment that Junior Dos Santos did after winning his title, but it’s still pretty sweet to see ”The Viper” (our new nickname for her, btw) doing anything but scaring the ever-loving shit out of poor Carla Esparza. Agreed? Agreed.

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Alexander Shlemenko Pops for Elevated Testosterone And This Sh*t Isn’t Even Funny Anymore


(Photo via Bellator)

Let’s kick off today’s “top” story with a classic Russian joke: What did the Alexander Shlemenko say to the dirty syringe?

“I must take you.”

Get it, because Ivan Drago said that once, and he’s Russian? I am criminally underpaid for this kind of material.

Anyway, the point is that former Bellator middleweight champion Alexander Shlemenko has tested positive for elevated testosterone following his KO win over Melvin Manhoef at Bellator 133 last month. Because apparently “Bellator drug test” are a thing that is happening now.

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Cole Presley Finds Balance in Inaugural ‘Shogun Fights’ Title Chase

By Chris Huntemann, Columnist

Ed note: As part of a new, ongoing series here at CagePotato, Maryland-based writer Chris Huntemann will be sitting down with several local MMA prospects, discussing everything from training regiments to what got them into the sport. Enjoy. 

When it comes to mixed martial arts, Maryland welterweight fighter Cole Presley couldn’t have picked a much better fighter to emulate than former UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre.

“I once heard GSP say ‘in racing you need a good driver and a good car. If you have a very good car but a bad driver, you’re not going to win the race. If you have a very good driver and a bad car, you’re not going to win either. So I have a good car and a good driver, which is even more important,’” said Presley, who fights with Clinch Academy in Frederick, Maryland, and is fighting for the inaugural Shogun Fights welterweight title on April 18 in Baltimore, Maryland.

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UFC 185 Aftermath/Results: The King is Dead, Long Live the King


(Photo via Getty)

It seems that more often than not these days, the UFC likes to sell us on the invincibility of its champions. “Anderson Silva is the G.O.A.T.” “Renan Barao is one of the greatest pound-for-pound fighters in the UFC right now, if not the greatest.” “Jose Aldo had sex with my blind wife last night and now she can see!” I’m paraphrasing here, but you get the point.

That’s not meant as a knock on the promotion, mind you. I mean, you tell me how else you’re going to market a humble, softly-spoken foreigner who knows maybe a dozen words in English, if not based on his skills in the cage? This is the fight game after all, and Conor McGregor would still be collecting welfare checks if he didn’t possess the actual skill to back up his mouth. Yet time and time again, it seems that the UFC’s go-to strategy for hyping a fighter becomes akin to placing a hex on them. And when/if the champion in question does lose, it isn’t long before the conversation shifts to “Anderson Silva is a roidhead.” “Renan Barao is going to get smoked in the rematch.” “Jose Aldo is only keeping Conor McGregor’s seat warm.”

To be perfectly clear, this isn’t how I feel the UFC was marketing Anthony Pettis heading into his UFC 185 title fight with Rafael Dos Anjos. The promotion was marketing him on his skillset, sure, which again — how could you not when his highlight reel includes a flying off-the-cage ninja kick? I’m saying that this is how the MMA media seemed to be billing Pettis in the weeks leading up to last Saturday. Blame it on the stupidity and/or rampant fanboyism that affects even the unbiased (and more importantly, credentialed) members, blame it on whatever you want, but there was an air of invincibility surrounding Pettis. We were like a deer caught in the headlights of “Showtime’s” greatness, so much so that we barely even took the time to notice that Dos Anjos was there.

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Friday Link Dump: Live UFC 185 Weigh-Ins, How to Pronounce Joanna Jedrzejczyk, Crafting a Burger the Heming-way + More

Carla Esparza Must Prove She’s Right Strawweight for the Job (Bleacher Report)

How to Pronounce Joanna Jedrzejczyk? UFC 185 fighters Try – and Fail Spectacularly (MMAJunkie)

US Anti-Doping Agency: Mayweather vs. Pacquiao Failed Drug Test Carries Four-Year Ban (MMA Mania)

From Chechnya to New Jersey: Khusein Khaliev’s MMA Odyssey (BloodyElbow)

Roy Nelson Hopes Alistair Overeem Hasn’t Become a Safety First Jackson’s Fighter (FoxSports)

Rousimar Palhares to Undergo Knee Surgery on Friday, Eyes July Return Against Jake Shields (MMAFighting)

Screen Junkies Show: Patton Oswalt Talks DC, Marvel, Star Wars & More! (Screen Junkies)

8 Classic Multiplayer Arcade Games (The Escapist)

28 Innocent Items That Became Accidentally Dirty (Pics) (Radass)

Military Chow: The Four (or Five) Basic Food Groups (EveryJoe)

The Ultimate Foreign Celebrity Commercial Compilation (WorldWideInterweb)

Robert Downey Jr. Presents Real Bionic Arm to 7-Year-Old Boy (Pop Hangover)

For Whom the Dinner Bell Tolls: Crafting a Burger the Heming-way (Made Man)

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Gambling Addiction Enabler — ‘UFC 185: Pettis vs. Dos Anjos’ Edition

By Sam Stilson

Once in a while, Joe Silva likes to set up a card with an easy narrative. ‘Name’ fighters are given tough, but not too challenging opponents. We all pretend it’s a compelling matchup even though everyone knows who’s going to win. The fight happens, the good guy prevails, and it’s on to the next one. Such is the case with UFC 185.

The problem with this kind of card is that the bookies know who’s going to win too. This makes earning a buck off of watching people fight a bit of a challenge. Unless of course you like lengthy parlays or winning quarters off of 5-1 favourites. Still, this is MMA after all and crazier things have happened than a longshot winning a fight. Take for instance, the fact that Clay Guida has beaten both men vying for the lightweight title. Yes, this Clay Guida.

So with that in mind, let’s take a more in depth look at tomorrow’s UFC 185 card and see where we can earn some money to contribute towards CagePotato’s Patreon*.

*By “CagePotato’s Patreon” I of course mean blackjack and hookers. 

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At Long Last, It’s Finally “Showtime” for Anthony Pettis

By Trent Reinsmith 

There’s a scene in The Simpsons episode, “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” where a fight breaks out between Fat Tony’s gang and the Yakuza. While the battle rages in front of the Simpson residence, there is one Yakuza dressed in a white suit that stands with his arms crossed doing nothing. Seeing this, Homer remarks to Marge, “That little guy hasn’t done anything yet. Look at him. He’s going to do something, and you know it’s going to be good.” That’s how I felt watching UFC lightweight champion Anthony Pettis face Gilbert Melendez in the co-headlining fight at UFC 181.

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World Series of Fighting Signs MMA/”Crime” Fighter Phoenix Jones

Now that he’s been profiled by ESPN, it would be safe to say that Phoenix Jones (aka Ben Fodor) is quite the hot commodity right now. His recent Twitter postings seem to back this notion, as does the fact that he’s recently gone full War Machine and changed his name. With a 15-2 ammy record and 5-0-1 pro record at just 26 years of age, it’d also be safe to say that the guy’s made enough noise *and* proven himself enough to be called up to the big leagues. (looking at you, guy whose name rhymes with Bee Phlegm Skunk).

Regardless of how you feel about Jones, WSOF President Ray Sefo told MMAjunkie today that the undefeated welterweight has signed a multi-fight deal with World Series of Fighting, with his debut expected to take place at WSOF 20 on April 10. No opponent has yet to be named, but our bet is on Afro Ninja.

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Ronda Rousey: The Cleaner

By Chris Huntemann, Columnist

Given that it’s tax season, it’s a good time to remember that are there three guarantees in life: death, taxes and Ronda Rousey once again showing why she is the best female fighter on the planet with a first-round demolition of her opponent.

Rousey’s performance at UFC 184 last month was her finest to date. She submitted Cat Zingano, widely regarded as Rousey’s biggest challenge, in 14 seconds. While Rousey was aided by an absolutely horrible strategy by Zingano, her virtuoso performance led to another discussion of who has what it takes to dethrone Rousey. It also led to a ridiculous conversation of whether or not Rousey could compete against and defeat male fighters in the UFC’s bantamweight division. The less time spent on that absurd notion that accomplishes nothing but trying to discredit the great fighter Rousey is, the better.

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Who Belongs In The MMA Hall of Fame? Part 1

By Chris Rini

One day in the not so distant future, you will be sitting down with a son or daughter, neighbor or friend, as they see their first UFC event. You’ll try to explain how amazing Anderson Silva was as he Matrixed around the punches of Forrest Griffin, and wince when they ask, “Is that the guy whose leg snapped in half?” Maybe you’ll be sitting down with your niece or nephew and they’ll hear the term “hammerfist” with no idea that Mark Coleman was an architect of ground strikes (remind them that he’s also the first UFC heavyweight champ).

Occasionally on the forums, I’ll read a comment about how Royce Gracie only won those early UFC tournaments because no one knew how to defend against BJJ submissions and how he’d be no good today. That last comment makes me think of people who tout their smartphones having more processing power than the computers that performed the moon landing. The difference is, one guy went to the moon and the other played candy crush on the toilet.

As the history of Mixed Martial Arts solidifies, its defining moments become clear and we should celebrate the men and women who’ve brought us here. For this series of articles, I’d like to talk informally about what a Hall of Fame for MMA might look like, what it takes to get there, and who belongs in the Pantheon.

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