Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

June, 2015

The Top 10 WTF?! Moments From Today’s #UFCFightKit Unveiling Ceremony

If you’re a big follower of MMA personalities on the social medias, you might’ve gotten wind of something called #UFCFightKit earlier today, which rang in the official unveiling of the Reebok’s UFC fighter uniforms (or “kits”). The ceremony — which kicked off in NYC just 20 minutes past its 10 am-scheduled time — was of what we’ve come to expect from the UFC’s “style over substance”-themed press events: A hysterically inept series of flubs that managed to both hyperstimulate and underwhelm at every conceivable turn.

Truthfully, the only enjoyment anyone has been able to scrape out of the whole ordeal has come via the brutal mocking the event has received on said social medias, so join after the jump to check out all the highlights (if you can call them that) from this morning’s ceremony. In keeping with the UFC’s way of doing things, this list will neither be 10 items long nor adhere to any numerical system.

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Fight Night 70 Highlights/Results: Romero Obliterates Machida, Larkin, Santos, and Sims Score Big KO’s


(via UFC on FOX)

Lyoto Machida may have been the slight favorite heading into Saturday’s fight against Yoel Romero, but “The Soldier of God” nearly sent him to Jesus with a series of (as Thomas Myers best described them) “murderous” elbows in the third round of their Fight Night 70 headliner.

Video highlights and a complete list of results are after the jump.

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MMA Bill Fails in New York. Sky Is Blue. Water Wet.


(Wait, you brought Koscheck? NO WONDER NO ONE LIKES YOU. via Getty.)

Should I even bother dressing this article up with fancy words and intro paragraphs? It would just be reiterating that same sh*t New York-born/based MMA fans have been dealing with for as long as I can remember, with the lone exception being the arrest of Sheldon Silver — one of the biggest opponents of the MMA in NY bill — being arrested on corruption charges in January. Nah, I think I’ll just cut to the chase.

The bill to legalize professional MMA in NY has died once again before it reached the legislature. In other news: The sky is blue. Water is wet. Arrested Development was cancelled way too soon.

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UPDATE: Jose Aldo’s Rib *Not* Broken, McGregor Fight Still On For UFC 189


(And he couldn’t be more thrilled, Joe!)

Today is a good day, Nation. The best, even.

After initial reports Tuesday claimed that Jose Aldo had fractured a rib in training and would most likely be removed from “the most anticipated featherweight fight of all time” at UFC 189, the UFC released a statement earlier today rebuffing those claims and offering a beacon of hope in the dreary, dystopic landscape that MMA fans have long grown accustomed to (no hyperbole).

That statement is after the jump.

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Alexander Shlemenko Suspended Three Years by CSAC After INSANE T/E Ratio Revealed


(via Bellator)

So not too long ago, it was revealed that former Bellator middleweight champion Alexander Shlemenko had tested positive for elevated testosterone following his win over Melvin Manhoef at Bellator 133. While our initial shock appeared to stem from the fact that the man above, not his cut from steel counterpart was the one juicing, yesterday’s CSAC hearing regarding Shlemenko’s punishment unveiled some rather mind-blowing information to say the very least.

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BREAKING: Jose Aldo Fractures Rib. UFC 189 Headliner in Jeopardy. God is Dead.


(The nightmare begins. via McGregor’s Twitter.)

(*inhales deeply*) (*buries face in couch pillow*)

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

We all knew that this day would come. Between the next-level trash-talk, the unprecedented world tour, the insane promos — both of which were described by Dana White as “the most expensive ever” – and the talks that the event would need to sell 1 million+ pay-per-views for the UFC to break even (which early figures indicated would happen), we knew that the MMA Gods would simply never allow the UFC 189 megafight between Conor McGregor and Jose Aldo to come to fruition. We knew this, yet we held out hope.

Which is why, perhaps more than ever before, it hurts so much to say this.

According to various sources (but first broke by Combate’s Anna Hissa), Jose Aldo fractured a rib in training early this morning. Two and a half weeks out from UFC 189. While his fight with McGregor has yet to be officially called off, one has to imagine that it’s only a matter of time.

God. Dammit.

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“The Last Hemperor” Caption Contest: And The Winner Is…


(“Can we hurry this up? I’m on my way to the scene of Aleks’ latest crime against humanity.”)

It has been many moons since we had our last caption contest, and boy oh boy did it show in last week’s results. I’d like to think this was you Taters working out the comedy ring rust, so to speak. Some of you opted for stoner jokes, because Nick Diaz, some of you opted to make fun of the gentleman on the right’s attire (WSOF vet Martin Sano, FWIW), and some of you didn’t really even attempt jokes at all, but merely observed that Diaz was in the same picture as the GOAT. Overall, I’d say this was a moderate success.

But onto the winning caption, which came via our Facebook page and completely destroyed the competition…

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CagePotato Poll: Was Ken Shamrock vs. Kimbo Slice a Work?


(Here it is: What will soon be known as the Zapruder film of MMA footage.)

Chalk it up to the marketing brilliance of Ken Shamrock, the Coker Era of Bellator matchmaking, or the undeniable Internet prescence of Kimbo Slice, but here it is Monday morning, and the only thing anyone can talk about is the Bellator 138 main event. Nevermind that there was a perfectly acceptable UFC Fight Pass card over the weekend as well, or that Bellator 138′s co-main event featured one of the most brilliant comebacks you will ever see — all we want to know is: Did the 51-year-old man take a dive against the 41-year-old man?

This is, of course, a ludicrous question to anyone who saw the axe wound that Slice opened up over Shamrock’s eye, but then again, when has a piece of obvious evidence like that ever stopped us from crafting completely nonsensical conspiracy theories? Internet’s gotta Internet, amiright? You can count Joe Rogan among the Shammy-Slice truthers, so with that in mind, we decided mocked up a little survey to make sure all your voices are heard (as long as those voices conform to 1 of the 4 options we’ve allowed you to choose from).

Join us after the jump to weigh in! 

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Fight Night 69 Highlights/Results: Jedrzejczyk Batters Penne, Kawajiri Smothers Siver, “Mr. Finland” Shines Again + More


(Joanna Champion: The simultaneously most adorable and terrifying woman on the planet, next to Alice from Workaholics.)

Jessica Penne is tough as nails, y’all. Unfortunately for her, Joanna Jedrzejczyk has a bowl of nails for breakfast every morning…without any milk. To describe the women’s strawweight champion as “on point” in her main event scrap over the weekend would be borderline disrespectful — Joanna Champy was Chuck Liddell-esque in her tactical destruction of Penne (Joe), putting the TUF 20 alum’s face through the meat grinder over the course of a third round TKO victory.

While it was evident that Penne was outclassed on the feet from the start and unable to get the fight to the mat thereafter, a credit is due to her for taking everything Jedrzejczyk had to offer and not once backing down. We are often quick to praise a fighter’s heart in scenario’s like the one Penne found herself in, but very rarely do we see someone taking a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ like that. It’s not the highest praise, I know, but Penne will be a staple of this division for a while and have plenty more chances to improve and impress.

Check out Champy’s post-fight interview with Dan Hardy above, then join us after the jump for highlights and a complete list of results from Fight Night 69. 

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Friday Link Dump: Coming to Terms With Kimbo vs. Shamrock, A New Twist in the Silva Drug Test Fiasco, America’s Tastiest Wing Joints + More


(The Fight Night 69 weigh-ins. Come for Alan Patrick’s backflip, stay for the incredibly awkward main event staredown.)

Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock is For the Truly Wicked at Heart, Which Might Be You (MMAFighting)

Inside Ken Shamrock’s Quest to Show He’s Still the World’s Most Dangerous Man (Bleacher Report)

The MMA Road Show with John Morgan: Gustafsson, Caraway, Lundell from Vegas (MMAJunkie)

UFC: Berlin Judo Chop – Joanna Jedrzejczyk: Fundamental Footwork (BloodyElbow)

A New Twist In The ‘Spider’ Drug Test Fiasco (MMAMania)

The Escapist’s We Love It Awards: The Best of E3 2015 (Escapist)

Dear Single Mothers Celebrating Father’s Day (EveryJoe)

Movie Science: Could Jurassic World Ever Happen? (ScreenJunkies)

The 50 Funniest Demotivational Posters (WorldWideInterweb)

Marisa Miller Barely Fits Into Bikinis (41 Photos) (Radass)

America’s 8 Tastiest Wing Joints (MadeMan)

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