Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

August, 2015

Gambler’s Gambit: ‘Fight Night 73: Teixeira vs. St. Preux’

By Santino DeFranco

Ah, so fight weekend is once again upon us, and we know what that means, right? No, not another summer hotdog eating contest. It’s bettin’ time. That’s right, we’ve got a reason to throw down disposable income and try to make ourselves feel better about our position in life by earning a few bucks, and, I suppose for some, they’ll be pawning their fiancée’s wedding ring to scrounge together the $5 to bet with but, hey, that’s okay too, sometimes.

Now, if you’re not familiar with my betting strategy, go here. If you are familiar, well, you’ve already made cash since I started writing these for CagePotato, so just listen to my words. And my apologies for not having a Gambler’s Gambit for the last card. I sent it over to my editor too late, but if you want to pester him to show you what I chose for my bets, I went 3-0.

I must disclaim that in 2 of the 3 bets I’m suggesting on this card, I happen to know the fighters I’m betting on. Now, if that scares you away, I completely understand, but know this: I wouldn’t bet on them if I wasn’t very confident in their ability to win their respective fights this weekend. I would, when asked why I didn’t write about their amazing odds to win fights, say something like, “Well, I don’t like to bet on people I know,” which is a complete lie.

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Here Comes A New Challenger: Matches to Make – UFC 190


(via Getty)

By Sam Stilson

We all knew how the main event of UFC 190 was going to end. We had it figured out the moment the fight was booked. Yet, somehow Ronda Rousey still managed to wow us all. The women’s bantamweight champion truly has something special…and that’s the ability to get hundreds of thousands of people to sit through not one but two TUF Brazil finals (and pay for the privilege) just to watch her fight. Incredible.

UFC 190 turned out to be a much better card in practice than on paper and most indicators are suggesting it was more successful than UFC 189. Rousey is well on her way to becoming the new GSP, if she hasn’t already surpassed him, and we can likely expect many more ‘RONDA ROUSEY and a bunch of other fighters’ -type fight cards to come.

Now let’s look at what might be next for the main card competitors.

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Dream-Casting the Upcoming Ronda Rousey Porn Parody, ‘Ronda ArouseMe’


(via Getty Images/Instagram)

Following her superstar-making performance against Bethe Correia at UFC 190 last weekend, it was revealed that Ronda Rousey would be bestowed with the highest honor of celebrity achievable in today’s society: A porn parody based upon her life.

Entitled Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded, the parody from Burning Angel productions will star Kleio Valentien (pictured above) in the titular role, as well as Sammie Six in the role of Rousey’s nemesis, “Miesha Taint.” But because this is the internet, and because the line between pornography and mixed martial arts has always been a thin one, we’ve decided to go ahead and play casting (couch) agent for this surefire AVN awards sweeper, along with some help from the UG.

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Lawler vs. Condit Official for UFC 193, Hendricks vs. Woodley a Go for UFC 192

To quote Uproxx’s Jessica Hudnall, VIOLENCE, WOO!!!

Fresh off their crowd-pleasing, uber-violent wins over Rory MacDonald and Thiago Alves, respectively, the UFC announced via UFC Tonight yesterday that welterweight champion Robbie Lawler will defend his title against Carlos Condit in the main event of UFC 193 on November 14th in Melbourne, Australia. Said an official UFC spokesman:

With the next welterweight champion set to be determined in November, you’re probably wondering, “Well, who will be the next NEXT challenger?! I need to know NOW!!!” First off, calm down and stop being so goddamn needy, and secondly, the UFC is already one step and a few billion dollars ahead of you…

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WTF?! Quote of the Day: Cat Zingano “Didn’t Expect” That Ronda Rousey Would “Go for Her Arm” at UFC 184


(Yeah, I actually prefer this analysis.)

With each successive Ronda Rousey performance, it becomes increasingly difficult to picture any future opponent of hers lasting over a minute, let alone a round, with the “Rowdy” one. She outgrapples wrestlers, pancakes strikers, and submits everyone in between without breaking a sweat, and it’s been like this her entire career — nine of the woman’s twelve professional fights can be captured in a single gif, for Christ’s sake.

Enter Cat Zingano, a hulking physical specimen and tough-as-nails fighter that many of us believed would be the one to push Rousey further than anyone before when they collided at UFC 184. Unfortunately for us (and Zingano), she actually wound up on the wrong side of the shortest title fight in UFC history: a 14-second armbar defeat.

Personally, I chalked the loss up to Zingano simply being overwhelmed by the moment and throwing any strategy she had planned out the door. In an interview with ESPN published yesterday, however, “Alpha” made the mind-blowing revelation that her performance was only hindered by the fact that she didn’t expect Ronda Rousey — Judo master, nine-wins-by-armbar Ronda Rousey — to go for her arm.

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Rousimar Palhares: Noted Asshole, Stripped of WSOF Welterweight Title & Suspended Indefinitely


(You think this photo is crazy? Check out Palhares’ official response.)

Rousimar Palhares turned in an equally impressive and despicable performance in submitting Jake Shields at WSOF 22 last weekend, defending his welterweight title for the second time in the process. But keeping in line with what we’ve come to expect from the Brazilian, the fight was not without its controversies – Palhares not only gouged Shields’ eyes while mounted in the second round (the damage of which you can see above), but held onto the fight-ending kimura long after referee Steve Mazzagatti had intervened.

With it being revealed earlier today that Shields has suffered significant damage to the shoulder Palhares cranked, “Toquinho” has once again found himself in the hot seat following a victory. WSOF VP Ali Abdel-Aziz threatened to strip Palhares of his title upon reviewing the fight, and on today’s The MMA Hour, WSOF President Ray Sefo followed suit, doing just that and suspending Palhares indefinitely following the NSAC’s investigation of the fight.

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Here Are Those Videos of Khabib Nurmagomedov and the Diaz Bros Brawling at WSOF 22

Although the Diaz brothers have always struck me as the epitome of professionalism and class both inside and out of the octagon, it appears that even the most mild-mannered personalities can come unglued from time to time.

Just moments prior to Rousimar Palhares proving his assholishness outright at WSOF 22 last weekend, the youngest of the brothers Diaz engaged in what I’m sure was a rousing debate about the current GOP race with fellow UFC lightweight Khabib Nurmagomedov — I’m guessing Diaz sided with the brash, incomprehensible arrogance of Donald Trump, whereas Khabib was more of a Chris Christie fan. In any case, this argument quickly escalated into an all-out brawl, with members of both crews exchanging haymakers before security could separate them. Then Nick Diaz threw a beer at Khabib, because hey, #Trump2016Bitch.

The majority of the scrap was caught on camera by MMAInterviews, but this being a Diaz brawl and all, you can rest assured that it spilled out into the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino just moments later.

Videos after the jump. 

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Rousimar Palhares: Still an Asshole (WSOF 22 Results)

Rousimar Palhares is an asshole. He has always been an asshole. He was fired from the UFC, in fact, for being an asshole. That he has still been able to find gainful employment as a fighter is a testament to the desperation of mid-tier MMA organizations needing to boost their cards with somewhat recognizable talent.

At WSOF 22 last weekend, Palhares once again proved that he is an asshole, repeatedly eye-gouging Jake Shields before, and you’re never going to believe this, holding onto the fight-ending kimura for long after the referee had intervened and even longer after his opponent had tapped. This led to a somewhat dramatic exchange at the end of the fight, in which Shields punched Palhares after the bell while his corner had to be restrained from gang-stomping Palhares a new asshole.

In fact, the only person who you could argue was a bigger asshole than Palhares that night was referee Steve Mazzagatti — although he fell more into the “incompetent asshole” sub-category of assholes to Palhares’ “vengeful asshole.” Not only did Mazzagatti fail to dock Palhares points for his repeated, blatant eye gouges, but he made nothing of the fact that a man with a history of holding submissions to long, well, held yet another submission too long.

Thankfully, it looks like the WSOF has finally had enough of Rousimar Palhares’ assholishness. Head after the jump for the details.

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The Internet’s Best Parodies of Ronda Rousey vs. Bethe Correia (UFC 190 Results)

By now, you’ve all surely heard what Ronda Rousey did to poor Bethe Correia at UFC 190 on Saturday. The champ humiliated her, simply put, beating the Brazilian power puncher at her own game and flattening her with a right hand 34 seconds into the first round. As she has done countless times in the past, Rousey managed to both meet and defy our expectations in the method and ease in which she put away a clearly outmatched opponent.

But rather than do our usual post-fight recap, we’re just going to compile what have been a fantastic series of reactions to the Rousey-Correia fight, starting with the GTA 5-style “wasted” treatment above. Check out the rest after the jump, but do it quick, because these will likely be taken down within the hour.

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