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23 Ways That MMA Is Like Porn


(So is this a gi class or a no-gi class? Jeez, BangBros, a little wardrobe consistency wouldn’t kill you.)

By the CagePotato staff

MMA and porn go hand in sweaty hand. The similarities are kind of shocking when you think about it. For example…

1. You started watching it when you were a teenager, and you’re still into it, somehow.

2. The amateur stuff can be surprisingly awesome.

3. After seeing a crazy move in an MMA fight/porn scene, you’ve attempted it in your personal life and failed miserably.

4. Most people who start careers in MMA or porn burn out within a couple years — which makes Robbie Lawler and Lisa Ann‘s continued success absolutely miraculous.

5. Your tumblr feed is flooded with GIFs related to both forms of entertainment.

6. Your girlfriend will only watch it with you on special occasions.

7. It’s depressing to hear how little some of these guys get paid.

8. Casual fans only care about their favorite fighters/porn stars. Die-hard fans will watch no matter who’s performing.

9. The rise of the Internet has changed the entire business model.

10. You thought War Machine did a pretty good job, considering.

11. The typical music that accompanies MMA and porn is completely identifiable to both genres after only a couple chords.

12. “Some MMA ‘fans’ watch fights the same way they watch porn: to gratify themselves through the degradation of the performers.”

13. Japanese, Brazilian, and American fans all have their own unique tastes.

14. The whole “two people humping on the ground” thing.

15. Sometimes, a 60-second clip is the perfect amount, but you can find some grueling thirty-minute sessions online if you know what you’re looking for.

16. Both activities occasionally remind us how much bodily fluid a person carries around, just waiting to be squeezed out.

17. Back in the ’90s, you had to go to a very specific video store to find the right tapes.

18. Most of your time on Twitter is spent trying to get your favorite fighters/porn stars to retweet you.

19. #DICKNAILED and #BOOMHEADSHOT are perfectly descriptive in either genre.

20. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen Dakota Cochrane in action. [*clears browser history*]

21. You justify the abusive, exploitative treatment of your favorite fighters/female porn stars with the fact that they get paid more than you.

22. Professional wrestling actually introduced you to MMA and porn. [link NSFW]

23. It might seem like cheating, but it’s always a good idea to grease up beforehand.

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