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27 Signs You’ve Been an MMA Fan Too Long

(Image via FAIL Blog, obviously.)

By the Staff

You know you’re a true MMA fan when it starts to negatively affect your work, health, and personal relationships. Check out our latest list below, and let us know which ones apply to you. Props to Buzzfeed for the inspiration.

1. You roll your wrists while blasting “Sandstorm” before every job interview.

2. Kimbo Slice is your favorite professional boxer and Tank Abbott is your favorite author.

3. You used to drive 25 miles to the nearest video store that carried bootlegged copies of King of the Cage events. Now, you complain because there are too many free UFC events on cable.

4. You shout “IIIIIIIIIIT’S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!” before every act of sexual intercourse…

5. …and you find yourself trying to pass guard when you’re in the throes of passion with your lady.

6. You remember when Dana White was a skinny, balding dude with a Boston accent and teeth like a jack-o’-lantern.

7. Whenever some asshole at the bar starts giving you trouble, you threaten to beat him into a living death.

8. You once put your toddler down for a nap using a RNC.

9. You refer to any middle-finger gesture as a “Stockton Heybuddy,” even when the finger isn’t attached to a Diaz brother.

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Cagepotato Comments

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patrick00- May 14, 2013 at 9:55 am
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2and0- May 10, 2013 at 3:19 pm
Eat me Rex.
FightZen- May 9, 2013 at 5:34 pm
#27 is only if you've been around this grand website too long... but really, what's too long?
platch- May 9, 2013 at 5:31 pm

never surrender is a real movie?
ReX13- May 9, 2013 at 1:42 pm
If you refer to the throes of passion as "layin' down the ol' gound and pound" ...
Jessejames03- May 9, 2013 at 11:35 am
Stuuuuuupid!!! U know its not fight week when these post dumb shit!
SethF- May 9, 2013 at 12:22 pm
When these post dumb shit indeed.
Jessejames03- May 9, 2013 at 11:35 am
Tai-Pan- May 9, 2013 at 11:26 am
You still mourn Old Dad.

The Martinez-Zimmer II reference is always a win.
amsterdamheavy- May 9, 2013 at 10:29 am
Fuck me, wayyyy too many of these things apply to me, but not #2, thank fucking god.
Viva Hate- May 9, 2013 at 10:16 am
How about if you remember when every CP article was this funny? HA!
Chri534.- May 9, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Haha, that should have been #1.
DiscoStu- May 9, 2013 at 10:02 am
#10 - BJ "The Protege" Penn...I wonder who his mentor was that turned him into "The Prodigy."
godspeed- May 9, 2013 at 9:17 am
If u wear vampire teeth on halloween but still tell people your andre arlovski!!!!!
2and0- May 9, 2013 at 8:52 am
The tapped out family are the Slabaughs from Goshen. I've subbed that dude in training before. He really fights.
ReX13- May 9, 2013 at 9:33 am
If you can identify rando fighters in their family portraits....
MyFightWiffaCheeto- May 9, 2013 at 8:47 am
ksgbobo- May 9, 2013 at 8:42 am
lol...what a great post!
Nick Bruiser- May 9, 2013 at 8:38 am
literal lol @ #17, i actually did this
teep- May 9, 2013 at 8:20 am
I am guilty of #4, but I usually shout it when I don't want to go somewhere or when certain individuals are invited (invading) my house.
crappiefloper- May 9, 2013 at 8:15 am
1-I would love to motorboat the shit out of the rack that baby's head is in. Stupid babies takin all the good tits
2-the child giff is the freakiest thing I've seen in a looooong time
3-4 and 5 have applied to me. I find the double under pass to be the most seamless transition in these cases.
4-17. Yup
Imnotamoose- May 9, 2013 at 8:10 am
HOLY SHIT!!! Where is that crying baby thingy GIF from and where can I see more?!?
Fried Taco- May 9, 2013 at 8:09 am
28. You read CagePotato.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 9, 2013 at 1:48 pm
29. You post comments on Cagepotato.