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28 Signs You’re Not a “REAL” MMA Fan

(“So, did you find a stream of that UFC fight we bought tickets to, or will we have to show up halfway through the main event to play on our phones during it?”)

by staff

1.You use “UFC” and “MMA” interchangeably.

2. You don’t know how to score a fight under PRIDE rules.

3. You boo fights the second they hit the ground.

4. Your “MMA training” consists of curling in the squat rack, shadowboxing while watching MMA (despite having never hit pads in your entire goddamn life), and picking fights at Buffalo Wild Wings.

5. You don’t have the UFC Fight Pass, security issues aside.

6. You don’t have Legacy FC and Titan FC fight cards committed to memory.

7. Your pathetic DVD collection doesn’t even have any events from Rumble on the Rock.

8. You didn’t create a Facebook to watch preliminary fights.

9. You didn’t post a four paragraph “I don’t even have a Facebook” rant when CagePotato switched over to Facebook comments.

10. You shout “PRIDE NEVER DIE!” during every UFC card, yet you can’t name five PRIDE fighters who didn’t eventually compete in the UFC.
Eric Esch Butterbean Zuluzinho PRIDE MMA freak shows Japan photos videos

11. You’ve never set foot in an Indian reservation to watch amateur-level fights.

12. You’ve never gotten your ass beat in an unsanctioned smoker.

13. You rage about MMA sites mentioning pro-wrestling…when they write about Brian Johnson and Don Frye.

14. There are pictures of you from 1999 in an Austin 3:16 shirt and throwing up the Diamond Cutter.

15. You own zero articles of clothing with skulls, wings, glitter, rhinestones, and metal studs.

16. You don’t even have a tribal tattoo, let alone a tattoo in a language you don’t speak.

17. You think the UFC Hall of Fame is a thing that matters.

18. “Is Silva like the Jones or Smith of last names in Brazil?”

19. You think Muay Thai is a fruity rum drink.

20. Rampage Jackson is *still* your favorite fighter.

21. Tito Ortiz is *still* your favorite fighter.

22. You think leg kicks don’t finish fights.

23. You spell Super Hulk Tournament correctly.

24. You don’t even know who Valdemar Santana is, noob.

25. You think Bruce Lee invented MMA.

26. You think Dana White invented MMA.

27. You get all your MMA news from shill sites funded by the UFC.

28. “Bellator?”

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