(“So, did you find a stream of that UFC fight we bought tickets to, or will we have to show up halfway through the main event to play on our phones during it?”)
by CagePotato.com staff
2. You don’t know how to score a fight under PRIDE rules.
4. Your “MMA training” consists of curling in the squat rack, shadowboxing while watching MMA (despite having never hit pads in your entire goddamn life), and picking fights at Buffalo Wild Wings.
5. You don’t have the UFC Fight Pass, security issues aside.
6. You don’t have Legacy FC and Titan FC fight cards committed to memory.
7. Your pathetic DVD collection doesn’t even have any events from Rumble on the Rock.
8. You didn’t create a Facebook to watch preliminary fights.
12. You’ve never gotten your ass beat in an unsanctioned smoker.
13. You rage about MMA sites mentioning pro-wrestling…when they write about Brian Johnson and Don Frye.
16. You don’t even have a tribal tattoo, let alone a tattoo in a language you don’t speak.
17. You think the UFC Hall of Fame is a thing that matters.
20. Rampage Jackson is *still* your favorite fighter.
21. Tito Ortiz is *still* your favorite fighter.
22. You think leg kicks don’t finish fights.
24. You don’t even know who Valdemar Santana is, noob.
25. You think Bruce Lee invented MMA.
26. You think Dana White invented MMA.
27. You get all your MMA news from shill sites funded by the UFC.