(“Hey bro, the supplement ladder is too high.” via Belfort’s instagram.)

Vitor Belfort is getting frustrated, y’all, and it’s easy to see why. “The Phenom’s” middleweight title shot against Chris Weidman has been delayed a half dozen times already, and was most recently pushed back to May after the champ once again went down with an injury. With each delay, the 37-year old finds himself drawing closer and closer to TRT-withdrawal-induced mortality, and to top it all off, he’s being unfairly drug-tested up the whazoo.

What’s that, you’ve taken some issue with our use of the term “unfairly”? Well take it up with Belfort, who despite passing his most recent random test, is still inexplicably being tested at every turn leading up to his UFC 187 title fight with Weidman. As he told the Brazilian media (as translated by MMAFighting):

In 2013, I was the only one (tested randomly). I was tested seven times for my fight with Weidman. Seven times. Did they test my opponent seven times?

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(“Alex goes for a leg, gets a hold of a ghost that’s been haunting the arena, and huge takedown.” Props: Tommy Toe Hold)

By CP Reader Mike Kofman

While I may be a bit late to the party, I recently started playing the much maligned EA Sports UFC game. All I can say is, wow! What an accurate representation of what it’s like to be a UFC fan in 2015. Here are some of the highlights:

1) The Ultimate Fighter. You begin the Career Mode by creating a generic fighter who is cast as a member of The Ultimate Fighter. There, you proceed to fight a number of other generic, randomly generated, no-name fighters. It’s nothing short of brilliant how they managed to capture the very essence of being a viewer of that show in recent years. Kudos!

(Watson, seen here showing Flava Flav how a *true* hype man accepts an award. via Getty)

Rumors have been swirling for days that longtime UFC site coordinator Burt Watson had left the promotion following a mid-show dispute with management at UFC 184. While most of us were hoping that those rumors were just that, today brings the confirmation that Watson has in fact departed from the UFC after a 14-year stint as their “Babysitter to the Stars.”

(Mark, are you giving up?! I need a sign Mark! Literally *any* sign! No? Well, fight on then!” via Getty.)

By CP Reader Steve Hand

It’s hard to believe that a night which saw five fighters finished inside of three minutes could feature so many late stoppages, but such is the incompetency of the modern MMA referee (second only to that of, you guessed it, Frank Stallone the MMA judge). Without using too much hyperbole, I feel comfortable saying that UFC 184 was the biggest reffing travesty since the 2007 NBA Betting Scandal, and maybe of all time. And with that, let’s take a look at just how bad the ball was dropped over the course of the night.

(via UFC on FOX)

As Michael Bisping might say, Cat Zingano didn’t last as long as a virgin on prom night in her long-awaited title bid against Ronda Rousey last weekend, succumbing to an armbar in just 14 seconds of their UFC 184 main event tilt. “Alpha” let her emotions get the best of her, both in the fight itself and in her post-fight interview, and it cost her big time. My heart breaks for the poor woman.

Aside from it’s lightning-quick main event, UFC 184 also saw Josh Koscheck and Mark Munoz get choked within an inch of their lives, Holly Holm pick apart Raquel Pennington (sort of), and Alan Jouban announce his arrival to the welterweight division with a vicious standing hellbow. Join us after the jump for all the highlights from UFC 184, most of which totally aren’t in the form of illegal gifs. (*removes sunglasses*) (*winks*)

(Easy there, Dave. One second it’s doing your job, the next it’s a lawsuit. via Getty)

By Sam Stilson

Well if we learned anything from UFC Fight Night 61, it’s that MMA is perhaps the most unpredictable sport in the world. That, and Bigfoot Silva is slowing shrinking and will soon be nothing but an Easter Island statue made of glass.

The fact that 10 of 11 underdogs won last week has surely given some hope to the massive long shots featured in both the main and co-main events of this weekend’s UFC 184 card. But confidence is hardly enough when facing the best of the best in the women’s division (though this guy might disagree).

Let’s take a look at who the money-makers are for UFC 184.

By Chris Rini

I am dead tired.

My arm hurts, and my brain is nearly empty. After six months of thinking about nothing but a 16 second fight, it’s hard to envision tackling a new project. So instead of making more artwork, Cage Potato has given me the opportunity to tell you a bit about how I made this one.

(Major props: takedownmma via  r/MMA)

Ladies and gentleman, the women’s heavyweight division. Where breaks are taken mid-fight to adjust loose-fitting sports bras. Where the referees don backwards hats. Where the only thing that’s thin is the talent.

You know what, despite what I’ve just written, I would actually like to applaud these women for their courage, commitment, and surprisingly impressive cardio. (I’m sorry, I literally can’t help myself.)

After the jump: Round 2. Yes, there is a round 2. Ish.

And there’s PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. (*cries*)

When it was announced that Bellator had signed Kimbo Slice after a five year hiatus from the sport, we were confused.

When we tried handpicking who he should fight for his big debut, we were cautious, but hopeful.

When Bellator broke the news that Slice would be fighting Ken Shamrock — 51 year-old, bare-knuckle boxing, security guard to the stars(ish) Ken Shamrock — earlier today, we fell to our knees and thanked the Gods, for a great blessing had been bestowed upon us.

(Looks like Andy Serkis just found himself out of a job for the Lord of the Rings reboot. Props: r/MMA)

If you’ve been watching the excellent UFC 184 Embedded series thus far, chances are that you’ve been thoroughly entertained by the-GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT THING BEFORE ME.

Captured by r/MMA user lrkr486, the Gollum-esque looking creature pictured above is apparently Expendables star Mickey Rourke, who we can assure you definitely isn’t, as one commenter suggested, “on the heels of a three week crack binge.” It’s more like an eight to ten week binge for sure.

Rourke told the cameras in episode 2 of Embedded that he met Ellenberger while training for a fight in Russia (which, LOL) around the same time Jake was training for a fight of his own, and the two have become buddies in the time since. That being the case, perhaps now’s the time for Ellenberger to gather Rourke’s other closest friends around and hold an intervention for whatever the Hell is happening to

After the Jump:  The first 3 episodes of UFC Embedded, via the UFC’s Youtube channel.