(Have you seen me?)

First Nick Diaz implored him not to be scared, homey. Then Jared Shaw went looking for him on the back of a milk carton. Now even Fabricio Camoes is getting in on the K.J. Noons bashfest. Maybe the force of public opinion will be enough to force Noons into a fight after all. You just have to wonder how much longer he can stand criticism like this:

“I’m waiting, I’m looking forward to fight him (KJ Noons). Inside EliteXC everybody had the chance and lost, but I’m here. I’m with six victories, two inside Elite and want to face him… I came to get his belt…I don’t know if he’ll accept a fight with me. They offered Nick Diaz and he didn’t wanted. The event is negotiating to try to put me to fight, I hope he accepts it”, said Fabricio [Camoes].

“The champion of the event picking the opponents… The champ has to fight whoever the event wants. Nick Diaz has qualities to steal his belt, and I want to get into this battle too. If you have the belt, you need to be prepared to fight everybody. Every fighter that goes to EliteXC wants to fight for the belt, nobody signs a contract thinking about fighting the worst opponent.”

Honestly, Noons needs to break his silence soon. Otherwise he risks going down in MMA lore as the champion who wouldn’t fight. It’s one thing to have Nick Diaz call you out. All that means is that you have a pulse. But when mid-level guys like Fabricio Camoes start implying that you may or may not be a total pussy, then you’re about one step away from being called out by Rue McClanahan.

For his own sake, Noons should at least let everyone know why he doesn’t want to defend his belt, whether it has to do with money, choice of opponents, or general disdain for Elite XC. Something, please. Even if he said he was quitting fighting to study jazz tap, that would still be better than nothing. We don’t want to say that he’s a punk, but he has been displaying some very punk-like qualities as of late.

(Noons vs. Diaz I.  Yeah, we’re assuming there’s going to be a II soon.)

It’s been over a year since K.J. Noons was stripped of his EliteXC title and accused of all manner of bitchassery by everyone from Nick Diaz to Jared Shaw, but he’s finally decided to sign with an MMA promotion and give this crazy sport of ours another try.  Sherdog reports that Noons has signed with Strikeforce and will make his debut in either December or January. 

What we really want to know, however, is how long until the Noons and Diaz clans get to go at it again.  There’s some serious unfinished business there, and with Nick Diaz’s recent wins over Frank Shamrock and Scott Smith while Noons was off being a mediocre pro boxer, maybe "King Karl" can see fit to give Diaz a rematch and settle this thing once and for all, weight classes be damned.  Like the prophet said, "Thou shalt not be scared, homey."  Only if/when those two do get together again, maybe Strikeforce shouldn’t plan on doing it California.  MMA’s Rosa Parks still isn’t ready to make nice and give up his seat just yet.

(What do you want to bet that particular hunk of metal and leather is hanging in a San Diego pawn shop right now?)

After bailing on EliteXC and their weirdo 160-pound title to become one of those fighters who wear big gloves and agree to stand and bang using just their fists – or, to put it more succinctly, a boxer – K.J. Noons might be eyeing a return to MMA with Strikeforce.  Talking to WatchKalibRun, Noons confirmed that he had dropped his somewhat notorious manager, Mark Dion, and was talking with Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker, who saw this thing coming a mile away.  While that’s far from an agreement to fight Nick Diaz and finally prove that he is not scared, homey, it’s at least a step in the right direction for a talented fighter with sometimes questionable motivation.

Noons said that he’d be “down” to face Diaz again, and claimed he wouldn’t mind going up or down in weight.  What he didn’t say, however, was that he wants to be a full-time MMA fighter.  He seems to think he can be both a boxer and an MMA fighter.  He lost his last boxing match in March via decision, and it’s fair to say that the boxing world in general does not give a damn about him (at least compared to MMA, which gives at least a little bit of a damn), you have to wonder why he won’t just commit himself to a sport where he could actually go somewhere?  Come on KJ, are takedowns and leg kicks really all that bad?

Sure, why not — here’s Krazy Horse’s fight against K.J. Noons at EliteXC: Destiny (2/10/07), which we discussed earlier. It’s a leg-kick battle for a while, until the guys start throwing leather and Noons walks into a sledgehammer right hook. Entertaining as always, Bennett does his backflip thing a couple times after the knockout then leaves the cage before the cops can show up.

(Jeez, I haven’t seen such poor fight choreography since Sonny Corleone went to town on that punk Carlo for beating on his kid sister.) 

If our past few posts are any indication, it doesn’t really matter what the subject of this article is, because you Taters will inevitably turn the comment section into a discussion on a feller who goes by dipsetkilla, whether he fucked your mom or not, and how gay you would be based on whether he fucked your mom or not. Personally, I think we should have dipset and bootystar (remember him?) engage in a winner-takes-all battle of incoherent superiority. Then again, dipset is probably hitching up his trousers and throwing a five dollar bill on my mother’s nightstand as we speak, so clearly I have a dog in this fight. Maybe I just miss bootystar and such whimsical gems as: “I bet the gladiator got asked cuz he was caught starring at the pork barrel sausage in the littereen next to his bald headed one yed jack of pades” but I digress.

Aaannnyyway…a pair of bouts have been added to Strikeforce’s stacked (LOL!) final card that will feature Luke Rockhold vs. Mr. Glass, Daniel Cormier vs. some dude, Josh Barnett vs. Imhotep, and Whoshisface vs. Whatshisname. We don’t mean to over-hype these fights, but needless to say, they will forever change your definition of the word “Superfight.”

Yesterday, we brought you the live scoop of EliteXC’s conference call. The main topic was Kimbo’s upcoming February slaughter of Tank Abbott, but Gary Shaw also announced they would be following their March 29th event with a show on April 26th in Hawaii. The March event features Frank Shamrock against Cung Le, and the April throw-down will likely see the return of Nick Diaz – exploding eye sockets and all.

“He’s had surgery on his eye to repair all that scar tissue, and I think that Nick needed a rest,” said Shaw “He’s doing the right thing for Nick right now, and we’ve encouraged him to rest as well.

“But I think he’s fighting on the April 26 card.“

An opponent?

According to GracieFighter.com, Nick Diaz will no longer be fighting Hayato “Mach” Sakurai at DREAM.5 (July 21st; Osaka, Japan) for the league’s vacant welterweight title, due to contractual obligations with EliteXC: “Apparently EliteXC has other plans for Diaz and the July date might conflict with their plans.” You could probably figure out what those plans are, but for the record, sources have informed FiveOuncesofPain that a rematch between Diaz and K.J. Noons for EliteXC’s 160-pound title will be added to the next “Saturday Night Fights” broadcast on July 26th.

Though the event was initially rumored to be held in St. Louis, it looks like that idea is being scrapped, as several major sporting events (including a monster truck rally; go figure) are already scheduled to take place in the Gateway City around that time. Now, the buzz is that the Diaz/Noons bout will take place somewhere in Stockton, California, the city that spawned those rotten Diaz brothers. Obviously, it’s a wise move from a marketing standpoint — just as EliteXC’s “Street Certified” event featuring Kimbo Slice was a hit in Kimbo’s hometown of Miami, and “Shamrock vs. Le” did bang-up business in San Jose, Nick Diaz’s rabid civic pride could translate into a wild sellout crowd in Stockton, which would be a perfect backdrop to a live television event (providing that there are no riots in the arena, of course).

At this point, EliteXC: Unfinished Business (working title) will still be headlined by the middleweight championship rematch between Robbie Lawler and Scott Smith, as well as Jake Shields vs. TBA for the vacant welterweight belt.

(Photo courtesy of Complex.com)

From the OC Register’s “Keep Punching” blog, via MMA Mania:

“I’m trying to fight (Hayato) Sakurai, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight Anderson Silva, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Georges (expletive) St. (expletive) Pierre. I’m trying to fight … I didn’t mean to call Georges a (expletive), but I ain’t got no problem getting there and fighting the best people in the world. Georges is a nice guy. I’m trying to fight Jon Fitch, I’m trying to fight Silva, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Takanori Gomi, Sakurai, I’m trying to (expletive) everybody up. (Expletive) this (expletive). This is (expletive) gangster (expletive) warfare. I don’t give a (expletive). You know what I mean?

I don’t mean to sound like … this is … you know … people need to grow up and be mature enough to handle this (expletive). If they can’t and their eyes are not old enough to handle my cuss words and to handle the reality ofo what my life is really about, then don’t (expletive) watch. Because I’m tired of hearing about this and that about how I’m a (expletive) punk and I’m this and that and I’m (expletive) stupid because I didn’t go to school and I don’t know how to talk without (expletive) cussing and say the F-word every five minutes. If you can’t handle it, then don’t listen to me. I don’t give a (expletive).

I’m here to fight. I’m not trying to be a movie star. I’m not trying to wear a (expletive) suit like K.J. Noons. I’ll save my money to buy some (expletive) weed. You know what I mean? I’m trying to enhance the quality of my living. That’s the same reason why I will fight people, I will get high, because that’s a higher quality of life. You know what I mean? I don’t (expletive) do drugs and I don’t do no (expletive). You know what I mean? I’m trying to enhance the quality of my living. Whatever is going to do that. I’m not down for (expletive) chemicals. You know what I mean? I’m down for whatever is going to do it. If fighting and whatever else I do and saying (expletive) you, and being able to do that and still make money, you know, sounding ignorant.

“People are going to think I’m ignorant. But you know what … it’s actually … who is ignorant when you are not the one who understands this sarcasm? You know what I mean? You are just not up to par on how people talk these days or something. Open your eyes and look at the real (expletive) world. Look at the world I live in. That’s all I’m saying.”

And so on, and so on, and (expletive) so on…

(KJ Noons splits your face open once and he never lets you forget it.)

Hot off the ratings success of their first CBS show, Elite XC returns to Showtime this Saturday night with “Return of the King” in Hawaii. You’re probably wondering, who is the king in this scenario? Is Elvis on the card? Turns out, no, he isn’t. The king is K.J. Noons, who was raised in Hawaii until he was sixteen and is now returning to fight there. Also he sometimes goes by “King Karl”, just to remind us that alliteration alone is not enough to base a nickname on.

In a media conference call today Noons did his best to dispel reports that he has been avoiding a rematch with Nick Diaz, who he defeated in order to claim the Elite XC lightweight title back in November.

“I’ve won a lot of titles, but winning the EliteXC title was one of the most powerful things to happen to me,’’ said Noons. “I’m just proud that I keep trying to get better and just follow my dreams.

“But I don’t dodge anybody. As a champion, you can’t duck anyone. You only have one option. You fight the best. Whoever that is, that’s who I fight. Unfortunately, Nick’s not the best now. I have to fight the top guy as the champion. Right now that guy is Yves Edwards.

“Of course, it would be great to fight Nick in the future. It would be a great payday for me. (But) Nick is such a big crybaby. Let him rebuild himself and then we’ll fight again. I’d love an easy payday.

“It’s ridiculous what Diaz’ camp was saying. Why would they think I’m dodging him? I gave him plastic surgery on his face. That’s a fact. As long as he can get a doctor’s note, (I’m all for) round two.’’

Uh-oh. You know who’s not going to like that? World-famous hothead Nick Diaz. And here it comes:

If you’re a fan of quick, one-sided demolitions, last night’s EliteXC: Return of the King card didn’t disappoint. In the main event, lightweight champ KJ Noons and top contender Yves Edwards sparred for the first thirty seconds of their bout before Noons caught Edwards with a jaw-punch that sent him to the mat. Noons leaped onto Edwards and started raining down blows like a man possessed by both Satan and PCP; the ref called it at the 48-second mark, and a dazed Edwards was left wondering what the hell had just happened.

Following the match, Nick Diaz — who weighed in a full nine pounds over his 160-pound limit for his earlier match against Mushin Corbbrey — stepped into the cage to confront the man who’d handed him his last loss at EliteXC: Renegade last November. In an apparent attempt to hype a re-match with Noons, Diaz (along with his brother Nate) mouthed off to Noons and stuck his middle fingers into the faces of Noons and his father. The Noonses lunged at the Diazes, but security intervened before things got out of hand. Amid a chorus of boos, Nick and Nate left the cage, their beloved middle fingers extended toward the crowd.

Diaz certainly had no reason to be cocky. Besides coming into the fight a full weight-class over Corbbrey (which Diaz is trying to blame on the ocean),
Diaz needed nearly all of the three scheduled rounds to put away an outmatched, outsized Corbbrey, which he finally did via strikes from the mount.

In other action, Murilo “Ninja” Rua made Tony Bonello pay for a seriously ill-advised guard-pull at the beginning of their match, dropping elbows and punches from the top until the fight was called, while Icon Sport middleweight champion Kala Kolohe Hose was quickly choked out in a non-title match by King of the Cage/Freestyle Cage Fighting vet Robert “Bubba” McDaniel. Full results are below, and a couple vids are after the jump, courtesy of MMAScraps.

MAIN CARD
K.J. Noons def. Yves Edwards via TKO, 0:48 of round 1
Nick Diaz def. Muhsin Corbbrey via TKO, 3:59 of round 3
Murilo Rua def. Tony Bonello via TKO, 3:16 of round 1
Dave Herman def. Ron Waterman via TKO, 2:19 of round 1
Rafael Feijao def. Wayne Cole via TKO, 2:47 of round 1

UNDERCARD
P.J. Dean and Dean Lista fought to a draw
Mike Aina def. Kaleo Kwan via unanimous decision
Mark Oshiro def. Chris Willems via submission (triangle choke), 2:12 of round 1
Robert McDaniel def. Kala Kolohe via submission (rear naked choke), 0:41 of round one

(“Yeah man, so this is like, one of the *actual tires* that came off of Rampage’s truck. No shit. Got it off Craigslist.” Photo of The Grim by Esther Lin.)

Nick Diaz and Brett Rogers won’t be sitting on their hands waiting for their arch-rivals KJ Noons and Kimbo Slice to become available — MMA Junkie reports that both fighters have been scheduled to appear at EliteXC’s November 8th event, which will be broadcast on Showtime. Their opponents haven’t been announced yet, but EliteXC’s Jared Shaw confirmed that Joey Villasenor will also be part of the event; rumor has it that he could face Robbie Lawler for the middleweight title.

Speaking of the Showtime card, FiveOuncesofPain reports that EliteXC wants to add Eddie Alvarez to the lineup, and build up to a fight for the vacated lightweight title if him and Nick Diaz win their fights and KJ Noons continues to be a problem. Side note: Before Diaz competes again for EliteXC, he’ll head to Japan to battle Hayato “Mach” Sakurai at DREAM.6 (September 23rd; Saitama, Japan) for DREAM’s welterweight title. In other EliteXC news…

— A fight between Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos and Yoko Takahashi has been officially added to the undercard of Saturday Night Fights III on October 4th. If time permits, the match will be shown on the broadcast on a tape-delay basis. Cyborg vows to improve on her last performance by knocking Takahashi out three times in the first round.

— EliteXC’s heavyweight champ Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva has released a longer statement about his steroid bust. Some highlights:

(Grow some bushido, y’pansy.)

“I guess they were trying to get Aoki, but he’s got no bushido. I don’t think Aoki wants to fight me. He’s got no warrior spirit. He’s from Japan, who would have thought?” — Jake Shields issues his own “Don’t be scared, homey” to Shinya Aoki, who allegedly turned down an offer to fight EliteXC’s welterweight champ.

“This is the flaw with American fans. On the one hand, the American fan is incredibly intelligent and gets the game and understands what’s going on, but literally the other hand is, the other 50 percent of them are morons who have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.” — Frank Trigg on the superiority of Japanese MMA fans.

“To be honest he was really slippery and I don’t mean that like technically-wise, he was really slippery. I don’t know, I don’t want to speculate and say that something was used or whatever but he was just hard to hang on to and that was from all the positions. Even when I had him in like a headlock or a guillotine everything was just really slippery…all I know is I’m good at keeping those positions and I know the difference between sweat and something else and it felt like something else but who knows. (Jokingly) Maybe it’s Albolene left over from the day before from the weight cut!” — Kenny Florian politely accuses Roger Huerta of being a filthy, greasy cheater.

“I would say the only guarantee K.J. has is to pull up a chair and watch the event and get comfortable on that chair because he’ll be sitting for a little bit.” — EliteXC VP Jared Shaw on K.J. Noons’s options if he declines the fight with Nick Diaz.

Sam Caplan has a solid interview with new EliteXC lightweight champ KJ Noons on his ProElite.com blog, where Noons discusses his training, a possible rematch with Nick Diaz, and his pro boxing ambitions. But the most telling quote comes right at the beginning:

Sam Caplan: After you beat Nick Diaz, how did you celebrate?
K.J. Noons: I showered up and we went out to a Fudrucker’s [sic] that my buddy owns in Corpus Christi. I had about 40 friends and family down there that drove from Houston and he re-opened up his restaraunt and (there was) an open bar. Open bar and food. It was kind of like a private party. It was fun.

Okay, for all of you who have never been to a Fuddruckers before, when KJ says there was an “open bar,” he’s referring to Fuddruckers’ famous Toppings Bar, where you can turn your hamburger into a “Burger Masterpiece” by dressing it with as much lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, peppers, cheese, seasonings and sauces as you want — and in any combination. It’s what ensures that no two Fuddruckers burgers will ever be quite the same. And you don’t have to be an MMA champion to use it!

Also, when he says that it was “kind of like a private party,” he means that the last customers had gone home four hours ago, and except for the homeless drifter that sleeps outside of the women’s restroom, they basically had the place to themselves.

I’m not exactly sure what he meant by “It was fun.”

(Josh Barnett vs. Mighty Mo. Skip to the 6:28 mark to see Barnett accept a knee to the groin as repayment for the one that happened during the fight. Video courtesy of 19054771 via Bloody Elbow.)

Full results from today’s seven-bout card in Yokohama are below; more videos after the jump.

– Bibiano Fernandes (champion) def. Joachim Hansen via split decision
– Josh Barnett def. Siala-Mou "Mighty Mo" Siligia via submission (kimura), 4:41 of round 1
– K.J. Noons def. Andre "Dida" Amade via unanimous decision
– Ryo Chonan def. Andrews Nakahara via unanimous decision
– Cole Escovedo def. Yoshiro Maeda via KO (head kick), 2:29 of round 1
– Katsunori Kikuno def. Kuniyoshi Hironaka via KO (strikes), 1:26 of round 1
– Ikuhisa Minowa def. Jimmy Ambriz via submission (toe hold), 2:42 of round 2

It was bad enough when Mike Pyle’s contract disputes prevented Jake Shields from taking home a well-deserved EliteXC championship belt in November. Now it looks like his fight against Drew Fickett at this Saturday’s Strikeforce/EliteXC event — which many assumed would officially establish Shields as the welterweight title holder — won’t even happen.

It’s being reported that the Shields/Fickett bout is being postponed due to Shields pulling a muscle in his back while training last week. Says FiveOunces:

[Shields] flew to Los Angeles in order to meet with a specialist. While he had experienced some improvement with the injury, it was determined that he would not be ready in time for Saturday’s fight. A decision was then made to postpone the bout. A re-scheduled date for the bout has not been set, but Shields indicated that the title fight could take place within the next couple of months.

I guess that’s what you get for letting Brandon Vera give you a pinkbelly; that shot probably dislodged at least four discs. Shields’s dropout is just the latest blow to an event that had already suffered the loss of one big name, when Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos was forced to pull out of the card due to visa issues.

In related news, an EliteXC lightweight title fight between Yves Edwards and K.J. Noons has been postponed to June 14th. The two fighters were supposed to meet at an April 26th show in Hawaii, but that event has reportedly been canceled altogether. Our first thought is that EliteXC is canceling the show to reserve some talent for their first CBS broadcasts, but we’ll let you know if/when they release an official statement.

("Actually, Bobby is the one who’s adopted. Long story." Photo courtesy of allelbows.)

Clear your schedules, Potato Nation. CagePotato.com will be liveblogging tomorrow night’s Showtime broadcast of Strikeforce: Houston starting at 10 p.m. ET, so be sure to stop by. The fighters just stepped on the scales at the Toyota Center, and 86% of them were able to successfully hit their marks. Pretty impressive, guys! The numbers are below:

Main Card
Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal (203.75) vs. Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante (203.5)
Tim Kennedy (185) vs. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza (184.75)
K.J. Noons (156.25)* vs. Jorge Gurgel (154.75)
Bobby Lashley (246.5) vs. Chad Griggs (228.5)

Preliminary Card
Daniel Cormier (249) vs. Jason Riley (256.5)
Andre Galvao (170.75) vs. Jorge Patino ()**
Vinicius "Draculino" Magalhães (144.5) vs. Rocky Long (146.25)
Kier Gooch (155.5) vs. Adam Schindler (155.5)
Jose Santibanez (154.25) vs. Reynaldo Trujillo (155.25)
Humberto DeLeon (127.25) vs. Chad Robichaux (131)***
Chad Cook (205.25) vs. Arteneus Young (204)

* Gurgel allowed Noons the extra quarter-pound; Noons will not have to shed the additional weight.
** Wasn’t present at the weigh-ins; will weigh-in later this evening.
*** Was given an extra hour to lose one pound for the 130-pound catchweight bout.

Unrelated: You have the rest of the weekend to get in your final submissions for our ongoing desktop wallpaper contest with Throwdown. The entries have been awesome so far — but we want MORE! So get hustlin’ for your chance to win that $250 gear package.

A light heavyweight tilt between former Strikeforce 205-pound kingpin Gegard Mousasi and controversial American Kickboxing Academy fighter Mike Kyle has been added to Strikeforce’s March 3 “Tate vs. Rousey” event in Columbus, Ohio.

Kyle revealed the news today via Twitter.

(My God, Daniel Cormier is going to WRECK this dude.) 

Tomorrow night, the once great promotion known as Strikeforce will fade into obscurity, joining the ranks of such infinitely-inferior-yet-similarly-dissolved promotions as Affliction, EliteXC, and the oft forgotten Tank Abbott’s Backyard Brawlin’ Beergut Buddies.

So with their future careers on the line, make sure to swing by CagePotato at 5 p.m. EST to catch weigh-ins for all of the fighters participating at tomorrow’s Strikeforce: Pros vs. Joes event. Who knows? Maybe some of the randoms plucked from MMA obscurity will be too scared to show up, or piss themselves when they realize the huge mistake they’ve made. In either case, it should be fun.

("Yep. Definitely sharted." Photo courtesy of MMA Junkie)

Strikeforce’s six-bout just-for-the-hell-of-it middle-of-the-damn-week event goes down tonight at the Nokia Theater in L.A., and will be broadcast on Showtime beginning at 11 p.m. ET/PT. If you’re still awake, come back to CagePotato.com at 11 p.m. ET for round-by-round updates from the main card. Will Renato Sobral earn a title shot against the light-heavyweight champ who won’t fight him? Will Robbie Lawler earn a title shot against the middleweight champ who won’t even be around after next month? There’s just so much at stake! Yesterday’s weigh-in results were…

Main Card
195 lbs. Catchweight: Robbie Lawler (195) vs. Renato Sobral (193.5)
Welterweight: Evangelista Santos (171) vs. Marius Zaromskis (169.5)
Middleweight: Tim Kennedy (185.5) vs. Trevor Prangley (185.6)
160 lbs.: Conor Heun (159.5) vs. K.J. Noons (159.5)

Preliminary Card
160 lbs.: R.J. Clifford (159.6) vs. Jeremy Umphries (159.5)
Bantamweight: Marcus Kowal (134.8) vs. Hugo Sandoval (135.6)

(The man on the ground is now EliteXC’s lightweight champion. The man in the air is now under a bridge selling oranges, possibly.)

Gary Shaw must have a boner for flying knee knockouts.

When EliteXC signed K.J. Noons, he was a pro boxer who was riding three-straight knockout victories in MMA matches for Icon Sport. His first fight for Elite in February ’07 resulted in a knockout loss to Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett, and he was relegated to a ShoXC card for his next match in July. Fortunately, he scored a dramatic flying-knee KO of Edson Berto in that fight, and despite having just seven pro MMA fights under his belt at that point he was given an immediate title shot in the 160-pound division against UFC vet Nick Diaz. Incredibly, that fight didn’t go so well for Diaz.

Now, it looks like Noons’s first title defense will be against Yves Edwards. And how did Edwards earn his shot? Coincidentally, with a hopping-knee knockout of Edson Berto, which must have tickled Gary Shaw something fearsome. To be honest, I kind of wish other fight organizations operated like EliteXC, where title shots don’t depend on a string of victories over top competition or marketability, but rather on who just pulled off the last ridiculous KO.

So yes, American Top Team confirmed today that Edwards will face Noons on April 26th in Hawaii for EliteXC’s 160-pound title. And not everybody’s happy about it. Nick Diaz called Noons out for ducking a rematch — according to Diaz, he just had surgery to fix his face, and that inconvenient blood-explosion thing won’t happen again — after which an insulted Noons responded with the following:

“First of all, I don’t dodge anybody. Whoever is the best, I want to fight them. As champion, you can decline who you want to fight. You only have one option as to who you’re going to fight, and that’s the best. Whoever the best is, that’s who I have to fight. In regard to a rematch with Nick, that would be a great pay day for me. Unfortunately, he’s not the best.”

Noons went on to express his desire for a rematch with Krazy Horse Bennett, which we’d love to see. And now, just for fun, here’s Yves Edwards’ acrobatic head-kick KO of Josh Thomson at UFC 49. I know we’ve discussed Steve Mazzagatti’s horrible reffing in the past, but this, I swear to you, is his worst performance of all time. Watch how he wanders into the frame like somebody’s lost grandfather after Edwards puts Thomson’s lights out, and slow-walks over to the fighters as Yves lands uninterrupted shots on Thomson’s face. It’s literally as if Mazzagatti forgot where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. Amazingly awful.

(That moment when you get hit so hard you shit your pants in front of the whole gym.) 

Having worked with everyone from Manny Pacquiao to Andrei Arlovksi, it’s fair to say that Freddie Roach knows damn near all there is to know about the stand up game.

So when he sat down alongside current WBA (super), WBC, and The Ring super middleweight champion Andre Ward on last night’s edition of Inside MMA, the inevitable question came up: who does he think are the top five best boxers in MMA?

Check out Freddie’s top five, along with his thoughts on GSP vs. A. Silva, after the jump.

Yeah, she spent more time on the cage than in it. (Photo: Las Vegas Sun)

Since the late 90′s I’ve seen the same assertion rear its head on MMA email lists, usenet groups, and internet forums from time to time: The best fighter in the world isn’t in the cage or the ring. He’s toiling away in a South American coal mine or defending his land in Sub-Saharan Africa. His legend will never extend beyond the shores of his remote Pacific island and he’ll never be able to prove his abilities to the world. To a certain degree, this must be what life is like for Gilbert Melendez.

Finding out that your company is staying afloat and that your job is secure would normally be terrific news, but despite his admirable towing of the company line, you have to know that “El Niño” was gutted when he realized that Strikeforce wasn’t going anywhere and neither was he. The bright lights, big networks, and top paydays of the UFC will not be his. More importantly, neither is the opportunity to prove himself against the best in the world.

When Nick Diaz rails on about how KJ Noons is ducking him, we generally chalk it up to Nick being his usual abrasive self. Turns out it’s not just trash-talk — EliteXC has been desperately trying to set up a rematch between the two 160-pounders for its October 4th show on CBS, but Noons’s management isn’t even returning EliteXC’s phone calls. Said Jared Shaw:

“I don’t understand it. This fight on CBS is maximum exposure and the opportunity for maximum sponsorship dollars, way more than he could make on Showtime. At this point, I question his management…For some reason (his camp) is not coming straight out and saying no, but they are making it very difficult to make it happen. His manager doesn’t want us talking to him directly. Who knows what K.J. even knows about the situation, but his management is holding us hostage…K.J. signed a contract. All we want is for him to honor that contract, fight on October 4th on CBS, and prove that he’s the champion we think he is. Right now, he’s not representing us as the EliteXC champion.”

You may recall that Noons previously had major contract disputes with EliteXC related to him appearing on CBS cards, so there’s surely more to this story, as much as Diaz would like to believe that Noons is simply terrified of him. But whatever Noons’s motives are, avoiding this fight seems like an offense worthy of a belt-stripping. EliteXC needs the heat from this matchup to boost their third CBS card, which is a do-or-die moment for the organization in some ways. If Noons can’t fulfill the responsibilities of a champion, he’s basically useless to them. Besides, wouldn’t KJ want to prove that his cut-stoppage TKO over Diaz last November was more than a bullshit technicality? Is he cool with being a paper champ?

(At a press conference today, Strikeforce president Scott Coker said predictions of his promotion’s demise have been greatly exaggerated.)

In an attempt to disprove  Dana White’s assertation that they are a "bush league, C-level promotion that will probably be out of business next month," Strikeforce today demonstrated a desire to outlive the moratorium date predicted by the UFC president with an announcement that they are organizing a June 16 mid-week show.

I smell a June 16 UFC Fight Night announcement on the horizon.

The yet-to-be-named event, which will be broadcast on Showtime at 11pm ET will take place at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live and will feature former EliteXC lightweight champion KJ Noons, former EliteXC middleweight champion Robbie Lawler and ex-WWE wrestling star Bobby Lashley.

(Hey Gil, hold up a finger for each title defense you’ve given a shit about lately.) 

OMG, you guys. Rematches are like SO HOT right now. So hot, in fact, that they are being booked regardless of whether they are necessary or not. Or, in the case of the recently booked Gilbert Melendez/Josh Thompson trilogy match, whether we even want to see them.

Don’t get us wrong, the first two scraps between these two were entertaining affairs, and the third should be no different. However, its matches like these that bring into question why Strikeforce is still in existence, you know, other than the ladies. Just check out the current roster of lightweights in the promotion and scoff accordingly. There are less contenders in that lineup than your average season of Dancing with the Stars, and even your friend Randy, who blew his hand to pieces with that M-80, could count the entire talent pool using his fingers and toes, and still have some left over.

Either Strikeforce needs to start recruiting fighters fast, or Melendez will be able to defend his belt more times than Anderson Silva and GSP combined…against Josh Thompson. Given that the UFC is currently purging all of Strikeforce’s remaining talent, it seems the latter is an inevitability. What will be most interesting to see is how Strikeforce will continue to market this from here to eternity. WHO’S READY FOR MELENDEZ/THOMPSON 10 IN OUTER SPACE?!

(“Overeem is my son. Scott Coker is my uncle. Gina Carano is my hot cousin. Josh Barnett is my sister’s meathead boyfriend.”)

Betting odds for the complete lineup of tomorrow night’s Strikeforce card were released yesterday, and looking over these numbers, it seems like the perfect opportunity to dig yourself out of the hole you put yourself in by following our previous gambling advice. Now, we don’t actually recommend the use of off-shore gambling sites these days, in light of the government’s recent eRaids, but hey, entertainment purposes and all, right? Check out the juiciest lines for Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, then listen very carefully to what we have to say…

Main Card (Showtime, 10 p.m.)
Alistair Overeem (-321) vs. Fabricio Werdum (+300)
Josh Barnett (-319) vs. Brett Rogers (+309)
K.J. Noons (-144) vs. Jorge Masvidal (+135)
Daniel Cormier (-300) vs. Jeff Monson (+325)
Valentijn Overeem (+111) vs. Chad Griggs (-122)

8. Tito Ortiz’s grave-digger routine

We don’t know how many times Tito must have practiced this thing in the mirror at home — but you have to admit it was pretty badass the first time you saw it. To be figuratively buried under the Octagon is the pinnacle of pwnage.

7. Phil Baroni’s soliloquy
A CagePotato favorite. And we quote: “I’m the best! I’m the best eva! I’m the fuckin’ best! I’m the man! I’m the man! I’m the man! [unintelligible], you’re next! I’m the man! I’m the best eva! Eva! I’m the man! Yeaaaaahhh! Yeaaaahhhh! I’m the best! I told you.”

(tie) 6. B.J. Penn can’t stop kissing Matt Hughes

We could have sworn smooching was outlawed back at UFC 15, along with headbutting, small-joint manipulation and hair-pulling. But nevertheless, B.J. Penn leaned over and planted a big wet one on Matt Hughes after stealing his welterweight belt at UFC 46, then did it again once Hughes was able to get to his feet. As a repressed Christian farmboy, the incident may have brought up some latent desires in Matt that he wasn’t quite ready to deal with.

(tie) 6. “B.J. Penn is leaving the building!”
Sometimes you get overwhelmed with emotion; sometimes you just really need to take a dump.

(A loaded bowl, nunchucks, and a ball on a string. In Stockton, this is how you go gently into that good night.) 

I just can’t anymore with Nick Diaz, you guys. I just can’t.

Earlier today, Diaz’s (likely overpaid) attorney, Jonathan Tweedale, told MMAMania the following:

Right now Nick is retired, unless he gets rematch with Georges St. Pierre or the big Anderson Silva fight. Apparently, if he doesn’t get those, he’s going to remain retired.

As a longtime fan of Diaz (his fighting style, at least), this “news” did not come as a shock to me, but was disappointing to hear nonetheless. Not because it means we won’t be seeing Diaz in the octagon anytime soon, but because this “I won’t play unless you pass me the ball,” retirement-as-a-bargaining-tool mentality represents the straw that has finally broke this camel’s back.

Look, I could set aside Diaz’s glaring mental deficiencies and overall jackassery back when he was laying waste to the Strikeforce welterweight division (or kicking Frank Shamrock’s ass…especially when he was kicking Frank Shamrock’s ass). When Diaz returned to the UFC after a five year absence, I was generally excited that we would have a new player at 170 lbs. Hell, when Diaz screwed himself out of a shot at St. Pierre, then dropped his next fight to Carlos Condit, then tested positive for marijuana metabolites and subsequently “retired” for the first time, I was still willing to hold onto the hope that Diaz vs. GSP would become a reality just so we could finally put all the debate to rest.

But then, it did happen, and let’s face it, Diaz choked.

(Looks like this year’s harvest will be even better. Sanguis Bibimus! Corpus Edimus! Photo via Getty Images.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

This Saturday night, Cain Velasquez will attempt to make WILL MAKE the first title defense of his career in his second term as UFC heavyweight champion when he rematches Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, Mark Hunt will look to continue WILL CONTINUE his Cinderella run in the co-main event against former HW champ Junior Dos Santos, and a possible #1 contender the next lightweight title contender WILL BE DECIDED in the sure-to-be-brawl between Gray Maynard and T.J. Grant. Whew.

With one of the strongests undercards (on paper) in what feels like an eternity, UFC 160 is primed to become, at the very least, a night chock full of wild finishes and entertaining scraps that will leave *no fan* unsatisfied. I really hope I’m not overselling it. Anyway, join us now as we try to underline the right favorites and highlight some possible underdogs in the hopes of finding that ever-elusive payout for UFC 160. The gambling lines, as always, come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Brian Bowles (-280) vs. George Roop (+240)

Having only lost twice, to Urijah Faber and injuryweight world champion Dominick Cruz, Bowles comes in as a healthy -280 favorite (and rightfully so) against the woefully inconsistent George Roop. Roop is coming off a less than convincing win over Reuben Duran in his return to bantamweight, whereas his opponent is looking to get back on the short list of top contenders in the division. Bowles should be able to close the distance on Roop and get this fight to the mat, where we may see a submission victory for the former WEC champion. Bowles makes the parlay at -140 and the prop bet that he is able to end things before the final bell.

(Nick Diaz was right! If you listen close enough, you can hear the ocean!)

Last weekend’s Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey event gave us plenty to talk about, a rare feature of a Strikeforce card these days. Ronda Rousey officially became the most successful one trick pony of all time, Ronaldo Souza showed us that he is ever improving in the stand up department, and the Strikeforce matchmakers let Nazi pedophiles worldwide know that they could still earn a shot in the big time through hard work, *cough* rape *cough*, and dedication to your craft.

Nowadays, we all know that cash rules everything around us, so let’s first talk about the recently released salaries from this weekend’s “Tate vs. Rousey” card, as they are surprisingly generous for most parties involved. It’s good to know that all of Frank Shamrock’s hard work has paved the way for this new generation of fighters. Per usual, this list does not include any undisclosed/locker room bonuses or any of that noise.

Ronda Rousey: $32,000 (includes $17,000 win bonus)
Miesha Tate: $19,000

Josh Thomson: $80,000 (no win bonus)
K.J. Noons: $38,000

Kazuo Misaki: $50,000 (no win bonus)
Paul Daley: $45,000

Lumumba Sayers: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Scott Smith: $65,000

Ronaldo Souza: $92,000 (includes $22,000 win bonus)
Bristol Marunde: $10,000

Sarah Kaufman: $25,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
Alexis Davis: $4,000

Roger Bowling: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Brandon Saling: $5,000

Pat Healy: $22,500 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Caros Fodor: $12,000

Ryan Couture: $10,000 (no win bonus)
Conor Heun: $8,000

Join us after the jump for our thoughts on the payout, along with a look at the medical suspensions from the event.