(Props: Fightlinker)

Why do I get the sense that this video will eventually be played at Nick Diaz’s funeral or his trial, either of which seems likely to happen in the next six months to a year?  I don’t know, but perhaps no other single video on the internet is so effective at demonstrating that Nick Diaz is a) totally awesome, and b) totally insane.  

Look out, Scott Smith.  Don’t let Nick find out you’re painting your toenails or dyeing your hair.  He will go off.  

("…so I came to the point where I knew my life had become unmanageable, and if I was going to get well again, I had to turn my life over to a higher power. Nah, just fuckin’ with you, I hotboxed in the car on the way over here." Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After Nick Diaz‘s love of the ganja screwed "Carano vs. Cyborg" out of a welterweight title fight, we wondered if Strikeforce would finally decide that the Stocktonite was too much of a liability to keep around. Well don’t worry, Diaz fans, because that little misunderstanding has been completely sorted out. As Scott Coker said during the "Carano vs. Cyborg" post-fight press conference:

(Staredown, courtesy of Combat Lifestyle)

In our exclusive interview with Elite XC’s Nick Diaz yesterday, he made mention of what he perceived as a lack of coverage for the Diaz brothers in MMA magazines. At the time we didn’t think much of it. It just seemed like a remark in passing. But after yesterday’s Elite XC press conference, we’re starting to think that Diaz is really serious about wanting to be in a magazine. Maybe it was this quip that did it:

“I’m happy to be fighting Denny because I always see him on every magazine. I’m never in any magazines so maybe when I win I might get some love from a few publications.’’

And now that I think about it, after he beat Takanori Gomi in that epic Pride bout that was ruled a no-contest due to weed, he made this remark:

“I boxed him up. I gogo’d him. Put me in a fucking magazine or something. Fuck.”

Seriously, magazine editors. What else does this guy have to do? You want him to beg you, is that it? You monsters. Just put him in a magazine! We’d buy a copy, and we can barely read.

If Nick keeps this up, magazines may become the obsession for him that airplanes are for Brock Lesnar.

(Props: MMA Mania)

Skip to the 0:56 mark for this personal statement:

“There’s certain things I can’t do, I’m not going to do.  If someone tells me to do it I’m not going to do it.  I’m going to do what I want to do and that’s why I fight.  I want to do what I want to do.  I want to fight.  That’s what I want to do.  They’d say, ‘Hey, why didn’t you do your work, Nick?’ in class or school or whatever.  ‘Why don’t you do your homework?’  And I’m like, I don’t wanna.  I couldn’t figure out why, I just can tell you right now I don’t wanna.  I’m not going to.  And then when I found out what I wanted to do was I wanted to train jiu-jitsu.  That’s what I want to do.  I wanted to tap people out and train jiu-jitsu.  ‘What do you want to do?’  I want to fight.  That’s what I want to do so that’s what I’m going to do.”

A rare moment of lucidity from Nick Diaz in this old Showtime promo for one of his ShoXC fights gives us the clearest insight yet into his motivations.  I feel like I went to school with a few Nick Diaz’s.  Only instead of becoming famous pro fighters they ended up working at Chili’s, and not the good Chili’s by the movie theater where the girls from the community college all worked.  I’m talking about the bad Chili’s by the freeway where the used car salesmen drank on their lunch breaks.  Not pretty.  If only they’d done their homework.

After the jump, a little something to prepare you for the enthusiasm-over-substance approach of announcer Gus Johnson, who’ll be on the mic for Showtime on Saturday.

Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket.  It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with.  But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’  That’s when it all feels…worth it?

Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view.  For example:

– A decision should not be decided by takedowns.  It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.

– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards.  Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.

(Apparently, California’s hands-free law doesn’t apply to giving both fingers to a videocamera.)

By Jason Moles

For quite some time now Strikeforce Welterweight Champion Nick Diaz has complained at great length about how he wants more money. Apparently earning a cool $175,000 (not including sponsorships) for treating Paul Daley like a punching bag just isn’t enough.  Who could blame him though, what with gas prices topping over $4 a gallon? All kidding aside though (yeah, right!) here are the top six reasons Diaz needs to get some Mayweather money:

Hire A Personal Interviewer

As we’ve said in the past, Nick Diaz is the best/worst interview in the entire world.  However, after taking Dana’s advice about learning to play the game, Nick is going to have to hire his own private interviewer/translator. With a new found favor in the media’s heart, he’s sure to finally make bank. Warning to anyone who takes this job: Don’t start $%*#, won’t be $%*#!

Pay Exorbitant Amount of Money for his Sponsors

Nick Diaz participated in yesterday’s Strikeforce conference call and thank God someone was savvy enough to ask him a question about weed and then get out of the way and let him go.  There’s nothing quite like a good, completely insane Nick Diaz rant to really make you stop and realize that absolutely everybody, everywhere is on drugs, or else they’re an alcoholic.  I didn’t even think about it until Nick said it.

Here are some other nuggets of wisdom to come out of Diaz’s mouth in this one answer to one question about how smoking weed is different than taking pain pills:

– The blood flow stimulated by coughing when you smoke weed might be the healthiest thing you do all day…if you are fat or have cancer.
– He’s not a fucking doctor or scientist.
– He has a lot of friends who do a lot of drugs.
– If you smoke cigarettes, Nick hopes you die of cancer.  He really does.

(Props: backcaster421)

To be fair, I think it’s really cool that your dad is Internet-savvy enough to record video blogs and post them to YouTube. I was a little worried after your mom divorced him, but it seems like he has a good outlet for expressing his opinions now, and he’s probably not as depressed as he would have been otherwise. 

That being said, I have to disagree with your dad’s take on Nick Diaz. Nobody said that every professional athlete has to be a role model for our youth that are growing up, particularly the ones that depend on a "bad boy" persona to be marketable. Diaz may be a loud-mouth punk, but he’s also one of the best welterweights in the world, and some of us actually find his antics entertaining. He’s not for everybody, I know. There might be a generation gap that’s keeping your dad from appreciating Nick’s unique brand of don’t-give-a-fuck-ness. And the middle fingers are a bit much, no argument there. But does that mean he should be banned from the sport, like your dad is suggesting?

As for the part about Robbie Lawler beating Diaz down to his knees and forcing him to his apologize for his mouth, please tell your dad that they fought once back in 2004, and Lawler got wrecked, so he’ll have to find another hero for his Nick Diaz humbling-fantasy. Nothing personal, it just seems like your dad has a lot of anger he’s still working through, and it might be a good idea to look for some new hobbies for him. Anyway, send him my best, and we’ll see you guys at Brian’s wedding, okay? 

Previously: Well-Informed Fight Expert Explains How He Would Beat the Inbred ‘Feedor Emelenkio’

(Nick’s just going to proofread this sucker before sending it out.)

Did Elite XC hold some kind of writing workshop for their fighters’ and their fighters’ camps recently? Maybe one with a special seminar on “Shit-talking statements and rebuttals”? Because suddenly it seems like everyone under the Elite XC banner is putting pen to paper to bash someone else. Not that we’re complaining.

The Gracie camp — home to Nick Diaz — is the latest to get in on the act. KJ Noons’ statement listing his grievances with Elite XC made mention of Diaz several times, and you didn’t think he was going to be able to do that without waking the beast, did you? We’re a little disappointed that this is coming from Diaz’s camp and not Nick himself, who has been known to do some really great work in the ‘stream of consciousness’ field of shit-talking, but we’ll take what we can get.

On Noons’ claim that Elite XC failed to promote his boxing career, as promised:

1) Earth to KJ; you don’t have a boxing career. No one in the boxing world knows who you are. 2) Another MMA company would have paid you less and not given you a title shot, especially when you were 1-1. 3) If you will not fight Diaz due to a breach of contract by EliteXC then why would you fight Alvarez for the same terms?

On Noons’ insistence that Elite XC isn’t promoting him, instead asking Diaz to sign baseball cards for the DVD of their fight:

1) Nick Diaz, Jake Shields and Frank Shamrock were flown in to shoot an instructional trailer on grappling for the CBS show. The signings were an after thought. You weren’t flown in because you aren’t a grappler. We are sure they will fly you in if they need an instructional on whining. 2) Your contract was for Showtime. Diaz and Shields both signed longer deals for CBS. Nathan Diaz signed a special long term contract for Spike TV etc…This is a business not Burger King, you can’t have it ‘your way’.

(‘I’m fighting who, now? You sure?’)

Remember when Nick Diaz and KJ Noons (along with KJ Noons’ dad) got into it after the last Elite XC event in Hawaii and it all seemed like a staged confrontation designed to build up a rematch between them for the July 26 show on CBS? And then remember how Elite XC announced that the event would be in Stockton, Ca., Diaz’s hometown, but instead of Noons, Diaz would be fighting Thomas “Wildman” Denny? Remember how weird and completely counter-intuitive that seemed?

Yeah, well, apparently Denny couldn’t believe it either. As he told MMA Rated, it just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense:

I was really surprised. I kinda think everybody agreed with that, you know the little thing that happened, the little eruption afterwards or whatever. Nick is a showman. I don’t know if you know; he means it all the time. But he comes off as kind of a jackass and a lot of people don’t think he has a lot of class in the sport, and that little eruption that happened afterwards and flipping people off and whatever, I thought, “Man, yeah, they’ll definitely book that”. But I guess Noons wants some time off and wants to take the fight serious, where Nick wants to fight as much as he can.

Good work, Elite XC. Even your fighters are baffled by your decisions.

Denny is doing his part to turn up the heat in advance of his bout with Diaz though, and he didn’t stop at calling Diaz “kind of a jackass.” No, he’s just getting started.

Since nobody knows where the hell in Central Valley Team Cesar Gracie’s biggest introvert is, we figured why not have our readers tell us what they think Nick Diaz ended up doing the past couple days that was so much more important than doing his job.

(Photo courtesy of Complex.com)

From the OC Register’s “Keep Punching” blog, via MMA Mania:

“I’m trying to fight (Hayato) Sakurai, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight Anderson Silva, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Georges (expletive) St. (expletive) Pierre. I’m trying to fight … I didn’t mean to call Georges a (expletive), but I ain’t got no problem getting there and fighting the best people in the world. Georges is a nice guy. I’m trying to fight Jon Fitch, I’m trying to fight Silva, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Takanori Gomi, Sakurai, I’m trying to (expletive) everybody up. (Expletive) this (expletive). This is (expletive) gangster (expletive) warfare. I don’t give a (expletive). You know what I mean?

I don’t mean to sound like … this is … you know … people need to grow up and be mature enough to handle this (expletive). If they can’t and their eyes are not old enough to handle my cuss words and to handle the reality ofo what my life is really about, then don’t (expletive) watch. Because I’m tired of hearing about this and that about how I’m a (expletive) punk and I’m this and that and I’m (expletive) stupid because I didn’t go to school and I don’t know how to talk without (expletive) cussing and say the F-word every five minutes. If you can’t handle it, then don’t listen to me. I don’t give a (expletive).

I’m here to fight. I’m not trying to be a movie star. I’m not trying to wear a (expletive) suit like K.J. Noons. I’ll save my money to buy some (expletive) weed. You know what I mean? I’m trying to enhance the quality of my living. That’s the same reason why I will fight people, I will get high, because that’s a higher quality of life. You know what I mean? I don’t (expletive) do drugs and I don’t do no (expletive). You know what I mean? I’m trying to enhance the quality of my living. Whatever is going to do that. I’m not down for (expletive) chemicals. You know what I mean? I’m down for whatever is going to do it. If fighting and whatever else I do and saying (expletive) you, and being able to do that and still make money, you know, sounding ignorant.

“People are going to think I’m ignorant. But you know what … it’s actually … who is ignorant when you are not the one who understands this sarcasm? You know what I mean? You are just not up to par on how people talk these days or something. Open your eyes and look at the real (expletive) world. Look at the world I live in. That’s all I’m saying.”

And so on, and so on, and (expletive) so on…

In the aftermath of yesterday’s bombshell that Nick Diaz was pulled from his UFC 137 main event fight against Georges St. Pierre, it still isn’t clear what kind of future Diaz has in the UFC. But one thing’s clear — he’s violated Dana White’s trust, and that’s generally not a good career move.

Check out the above video interview from MMA30, in which Dave Farra gets DW’s immediate reactions to Diaz’s press conference no-show. Ultimately, White felt that he couldn’t promote a fighter who was so undependable: “This kid’s not gonna show up in Vegas, didn’t show up in Toronto — what else isn’t he going to show up for? Is he not gonna show up for the fight? I’m not gonna risk that.”

At this point, Diaz would stuff his middle fingers in your face and claim that he has “never not showed up to a fight.” But that’s not entirely true. As MMAFighting reminds us, Diaz went M.I.A. for his pre-fight drug testing when he was scheduled to face Jay Hieron in a Strikeforce title bout back in August 2009, leading to that fight’s removal from “Carano vs. Cyborg“.

As for an apology from Nick, Dana isn’t holding his breath…

(Much like Bob Reilly, Nick Diaz is very interested in agriculture.)

In a bit of news that escaped our notice due to all the UFC 97 build-up and letdown, but is all too appropriate for today’s date (4/20, get it?), Nick Diaz reportedly tested clean following his TKO victory over Frank Shamrock at Strikeforce in San Jose.  The California State Athletic Commission’s Bill Douglas confirmed the news, saying that Diaz “was fine,” and adding that the test also checked for cleansing agents.

Does that mean that Diaz was jerking our collective chain about smoking weed up until the fight and using “herbal cleansers” to remove any trace from his system before the test, or does it just mean that Diaz has the hookup on the best herbal cleansers around?  If we had to speculate (and we don’t, but we will, because that’s the kind of thing we do), we’d say it’s the latter.  The world where Nick Diaz lies about his weed consumption is just not a world we want to live in.

So now who feels like a little bitch?  Answer: the CSAC.  Diaz beat them and Frank Shamrock all in one weekend.  That’s a moral victory for potheads everywhere.  It’s also enough to make you wonder about how effective the drug-testing system is in catching users of actual performance-enhancers.  If they can’t nail Diaz, who laid out his plan for beating the test beforehand, can they reliably catch steroid-users?

(Props: MiddleEasyTV)

Remember when Nick Diaz was booked for the biggest fight of his career in a title shot against Georges St. Pierre, but then decided to no-show two days in a row for media events? Or when he lost an interim title bout to Carlos Condit, was offered an immediate rematch but then couldn’t do the fight because he got high?

Well, we do, and chances are Diaz does as well since he’s been sitting on the sidelines for nearly a year serving out his most recent marijuana-related drug suspension. So it surprised us to hear that Diaz, who is receiving a world title shot for the third consecutive time despite coming off of a loss and failed drug test suspension, still seems to be walking the line with the UFC and its President Dana White.

MiddleEasy recently spoke with White and asked him if he expected Diaz to make good on his pre-event promotion commitments this time around before his scheduled fight with St. Pierre at UFC 158. “He’s been sitting out so long. This is a fight that he wanted. He really wanted this fight to happen and Georges St. Pierre called him out. He’s getting it. So, yes, I expect Diaz to be there,” White said.

When asked if he had actually received such an assurance from Diaz himself, however, Diaz said that he had not even spoken with the fighter recently despite reaching out to him. “I have not. Nick Diaz doesn’t return my calls, texts, nothing,” he said.

Nick Diaz is unquestionably the most gangster fighter in MMA history. This Saturday at UFC 143, Diaz will face Carlos Condit for the UFC’s interim welterweight title. It’s safe to assume that Condit will be body-shotted and called a “bitch” at least once. Here’s a tribute to some of Diaz’s most gangsterish moments, in animated GIF form. Enjoy.

Related: Lock Your Car Door When You See This Crazy Shirtless Mofo

(Props: The Garv)

We have no idea why it took us so long to see this, but at last month’s Xterra World Championship in Hawaii, Nick Diaz, who loves himself a triathlon, had a minor mishap during the biking portion.  For some reason there was a camera mounted on his handlebars, and now we get to enjoy the action without getting our knees and elbows all scraped up.  The best thing about this is that after he falls, as we should have expected, Diaz just doesn’t give a fuck.  He just gets up and grabs his wheels and he’s off and rolling again.  We’d say you got off lucky, bike.  That was worth a Stockton heybuddy at the very least.

(Video courtesy YouTube/Drinkthewine)

I was pretty disappointed yesterday when this video was pulled down before I could post it as a companion to Nick Diaz’s rant about Jason "Mayhem" Miller, but thankfully someone had the presence of mind to save a copy to their computer and re-upload it or we wouldn’t have this little gem to watch today.

In  the clip shot by Diaz while on a toke break during a biking excursion with his buddies and brother Nate, Nick recalls a story from a few years ago when he got into a fight with two burly brothers who took issue with him blocking traffic with his bike.

In advance of the May 31st debut of EliteXC’s Saturday Night Fights, CBS has enlisted referee Herb Dean as well as star fighters Nick Diaz and Jake Shields to make a video focusing on what you won’t be seeing during the broadcast. Watch as Diaz demonstrates a textbook soccer kick and piledriver, while Shields contributes a downward elbow and some fence-grabbing. As the announcer says, “Now you’re ready for ‘CBS Saturday Night Fights’.” If you say so, buddy! More must-see videos after the jump.

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

Earlier this month, Nick Diaz‘s lawyer stated that the Anti-Bullshit Superhero would remain retired unless he was offered a rematch with Georges St. Pierre or an even-more undeserved middleweight title shot against Anderson Silva — heartbreaking news, really. But if there’s any MMA fighter who’s likely to violate our MMA fighters retiring then immediately un-retiring ban, it’s Nick. For all of his complaints about being disrespected by his opponents and getting paid too much but not enough, fighting is in Diaz’s blood, which is a nice way of saying that he has absolutely no other marketable skills and will probably need to come back at some point to earn a living.

So forget those silly retirement threats, and let’s talk about reality — who will Nick actually fight next, assuming that the UFC wouldn’t book Diaz vs. GSP II or Diaz vs. Silva unless they were absolutely desperate. How about Demian Maia, the BJJ whiz who has successfully reinvented his career as a welterweight? Maia’s three-round domination of Jon Fitch at UFC 156 placed him in the top-tier of the 170-pound division, and according to a report from Ariel Helwani on last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, Maia wants to face Nick Diaz in his next appearance, preferably on the August 3rd Aldo vs. Pettis card in Rio.

(I’m just playing, MMA. You know I love you)

We never expected Nick Diaz to stay “retired,” after he lost a close decision to Carlos Condit and got popped and suspended by the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) for marijuana metabolites early in the year. So when Diaz manager/coach Cesar Gracie released a written statement on GracieFighter.com Friday that Diaz will, in fact, return to fighting it just confirmed the obvious.

However, Gracie had another timely bombshell to announce – Diaz would totally fight Anderson Silva, and Diaz’ camp will make the request of the UFC.

(Video courtesy of IronForgesIron)

Nick Diaz has quickly become one of the most polarizing figures perhaps behind only Chael Sonnen in the sheer even number of fans and haters, but it looks like some facets of the Stockton native’s act may be more calculated than we thought.

While making a rare media appearance on HDNet’s Inside MMA last night Diaz told hosts Kenny Rice and Bas Rutten that his callout of UFC welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre wasn’t a spur of the moment decision he made after beating BJ Penn at UFC 137. He explained that he was pretty sure he’d get his previously promised title shot if he chose his words carefully for his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan and that he was happy that St-Pierre took the bait.

(You can thank The Garv for this absolutely necessary photoshop.)

Thanks to reader Kadumel for pointing us to this article in the L.A. Times, in which Nick Diaz reaches new levels of stupidity by telling a reporter exactly how he will beat the California State Athletic Commission’s drug screening process when he fights Frank Shamrock this weekend:

"I’m happy to get loaded, hear some good music . . . I remain consistent. And I have an easy way to deal with [the drug tests].  I can pass a drug test in eight days with herbal cleansers. I drink 10 pounds of water and sweat out 10 pounds of water every day. I’ll be fine."

Goddammit, Nick.  You are fighting in the main event of a card on Showtime.  You are not applying for a job at Hot Topic.  You’re relying on herbal cleansers to keep you from getting fined, suspended, and possibly having the result of your bout changed to a no contest…again!?  Have you learned nothing?

20 years from now when Nick Diaz’s MMA career is over and he is holed up in his mom’s house, video blogging about weed, his past glory and cold fission, don’t say you didn’t see it coming.

In this very Dan Quinn-esque video response to Jason Miller’s recent remarks to Joe Rogan about him on the UFC analyst’s Ustream webcast, Diaz goes off on Mayhem for criticizing his ganster lifestyle and for accusing him for starting the Strikeforce brawl.

(We’ll see if Dana’s still laughing when STOCKTON FC swallows up the entire industry. / Photo via CombatLifestyle.com)

According to a commonly misused F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, there are no second-acts in American lives. But for years, MMA fighters have proven that adage wrong. Tito Ortiz transitioned from a Hall of Fame-worthy career in the Octagon to his current standing as the most effective and eloquent fighter-manager in MMA. Rampage Jackson went into the rap game after leaving the UFC, and now his latest album — Hump Musik — has gone quintuple-platinum. And legendary two-division UFC champ Randy Couture devoted himself to acting following his MMA career, making history as the first man to win Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor (for his cauliflower ear) in the same film.

I kid, because I love. The truth is, finding a new path after a successful career as a fighter can be very difficult. Not everybody can put their name on a goddamned grill and sit on Easy Street for the rest of their life. So when we tell you that Nick Diaz might be launching his own MMA promotion in the wake of his latest “retirement“…well, just keep your expectations realistic, okay?

We first heard about this in yesterday’s installment of MiddleEasy.com’s “Rumor Mill column, which was followed by longtime Diaz-documentarian LayzieTheSavage posting a link to RedditMMA: nickdiazpromotions.com, which contains a logo for something called WAR Mixed Martial Arts, and a “Coming Soon” message. No other details are available at this time, but my God, imagine the possibilities.

It makes sense that Diaz would want to start his own fight club, considering how dissatisfied he’s always been with the Unified Rules, and the ways that the current rule-set can be exploited by weak-ass point-fighters and wrestlers. So what would Diaz’s brand-new MMA promotion actually look like? (Warning: Here come the jokes…)

UFC welterweight Nick Diaz recently filed suit against the Nevada State Athletic Commission, asking for an injunction against their summary suspension of the fighter for his February failed drug test. Yesterday, a district court judge in Clark County denied Diaz’s request for the injunction.

Diaz’s attorney Ross Goodman previously claimed that the NSAC had breached statutes and his right to due process, arguing that the NSAC no longer had jurisdiction over his situation. Nevada Attorney General Catherine Cortez Masto then tried to publicly debunk the argument. Now that Diaz’s injunction has been denied, he can appear before the NSAC in a hearing set by the athletic commission on May 21st. (Check out MMAFighting’s report for more details.)

(“Tell me you aren’t going to miss this shit, bro.”)

Our friends at Kimura.se caught up with Jake Shields ahead of his UFC 144 fight with Yoshihiro Akiyama Saturday in Japan and they asked the Team Cesar Gracie fighter whether or not he thinks his teammate Nick Diaz will follow through on his plan to retire.

(Post-fight press conferences are about to get even more uncomfortable for Ariel Helwani. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

Following up yesterday’s bombshell about Nick Diaz‘s October 29th return to the UFC against Georges St. Pierre, USA Today and MMAFighting checked in with Diaz’s manager Cesar Gracie and picked up a couple more details. Here are the brass tacks…

- Diaz has signed a new eight-fight deal with Zuffa, which allows him to fight for both the UFC and Strikeforce. But the plan for Diaz isn’t necessarily to jump back and forth between promotions. Asked if the new deal marked the end of Diaz’s run in Strikeforce, Gracie replied, “Hopefully. If he’s back in Strikeforce, I would imagine that’s because he lost his next fight.”

(To think that such a beautiful marriage could go so wrong.)

It seems like nothing comes easy for Nick Diaz. First he gets pulled from the Strikeforce show just because of a little medical marijuana, then he tries to get back into action by signing on to fight at Dream.3 on May 11. It seemed fine, what with his next scheduled Elite XC bout not until June 14 in Hawaii, but then big bad Gary Shaw had to show up and ruin everybody’s fun.

According to a report from Sports Illustrated’s Josh Gross, Shaw insisted that Diaz be pulled from Dream.3, much to the dismay of Cesar Gracie, who claimed that Elite XC minions already approved the fight.

“Gary Shaw is going to honor the agreement that one of his underlings made, even though they didn’t pass it by him,” said Diaz’s manager Cesar Gracie. “He would have never agreed to it. [That] is what he told me, because it was too close to June 14. Right now, the fight that’s in jeopardy is the June 14 Hawaii fight.”

Except now it seems that the Diaz camp has caved. Diaz will not fight at Dream.3 unless, in the words of GracieFighter.com, Shaw has “a change of heart.”

Too bad Shaw doesn’t seem like the change-of-heart type of guy. More like the change-of-track-suit type. Those are two very different types of guys.

(KJ Noons splits your face open once and he never lets you forget it.)

Hot off the ratings success of their first CBS show, Elite XC returns to Showtime this Saturday night with “Return of the King” in Hawaii. You’re probably wondering, who is the king in this scenario? Is Elvis on the card? Turns out, no, he isn’t. The king is K.J. Noons, who was raised in Hawaii until he was sixteen and is now returning to fight there. Also he sometimes goes by “King Karl”, just to remind us that alliteration alone is not enough to base a nickname on.

In a media conference call today Noons did his best to dispel reports that he has been avoiding a rematch with Nick Diaz, who he defeated in order to claim the Elite XC lightweight title back in November.

“I’ve won a lot of titles, but winning the EliteXC title was one of the most powerful things to happen to me,’’ said Noons. “I’m just proud that I keep trying to get better and just follow my dreams.

“But I don’t dodge anybody. As a champion, you can’t duck anyone. You only have one option. You fight the best. Whoever that is, that’s who I fight. Unfortunately, Nick’s not the best now. I have to fight the top guy as the champion. Right now that guy is Yves Edwards.

“Of course, it would be great to fight Nick in the future. It would be a great payday for me. (But) Nick is such a big crybaby. Let him rebuild himself and then we’ll fight again. I’d love an easy payday.

“It’s ridiculous what Diaz’ camp was saying. Why would they think I’m dodging him? I gave him plastic surgery on his face. That’s a fact. As long as he can get a doctor’s note, (I’m all for) round two.’’

Uh-oh. You know who’s not going to like that? World-famous hothead Nick Diaz. And here it comes: