(Hopefully the meter maid didn’t give Spencer that shiner.) 

UFC lightweight Spencer Fisher was arrested in Bettendorf, Iowa on Tuesday for "interfering with an official act," which could mean anything from tearing up a parking ticket a meter maid was writing him to refusing to allow animal control to take his dog that had gotten loose from his yard.

He was released on $300 bond on his own recognizance.

Here’s the section of the Iowa criminal code that deals with the misdemeanor charge:

IOWA CODE 1999
719.1 Interference with Official Acts.
1. A person who … who knowingly resists or obstructs the service or execution by any authorized person of any civil or criminal process or order of any court, commits a serious misdemeanor. …
3. The terms “resist” and “obstruct,” as used in this section, do not include verbal harassment unless the verbal harassment is accompanied by a present ability and apparent intention to execute a verbal threat physically.

(And here we thought Canadians were afraid of a good old fashioned war.)  

It seems that lately it has become harder and harder to gauge what an MMA fighter means exactly by the word “retirement.” UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture has finally come to terms with his, whereas Jamie Varner apparently retired as part of an elaborate heist that involved almost immediately coming out of said retirement, picking up a couple quick wins in a small promotion, filling in as a late injury replacement against a huge favorite, and promptly screwing millions of people out of their hard earned money. And to think, George Clooney need the help of more than a dozen people to rob some measly casino. Chump.

According to the man himself, we might just see long time UFC lightweight Spencer Fisher add his name to the list of recently retired MMA fighters come Friday night, as he told Ariel Helwani that he’s “pretty sure” it will be his last fight as a professional. His reasoning was similar to that of Chris Lytle’s — desire to spend more time with his family:

I’ve been missing a lot of stuff with my family. It gets tougher and tougher as they get older.

Although “The King” has flown under the radar for the past few years, dropping four of his past five contests, he is without a doubt one of the more exciting guys that helped the UFC’s lightweight division rise to popularity following its reinstatement in the promotion at UFC 58, which coincidentally was where Fisher made his lightweight debut against none other than his opponent on Friday, Sam Stout.

It is perhaps the most fitting end to a career that one could ask for.

(The plaque is nice and all, but Chiesa would have gladly entered the TUF 15 tournament for two dollars.)

Although we can’t exactly accuse Spencer Fisher of violating our ban on MMA fighters retiring only to immediately unretire, he came about as close as humanly possible when he told various media outlets that his trilogy-completing fight with Sam Stout at UFC on FX 4 last June would probably be his last. As we originally remarked, it seemed about as fitting an end to his MMA career as Fisher could have asked for — his pair of previous fights with Stout had not only fueled an intense rivalry between the two (not on the level of Paraguay vs. Uruguay, but still), but had earned the duo Fight of the Night honors on two separate occasions. That he suffered a razor-thin split decision loss should not have cheapened the significance of the moment, at least in our minds.

In either case, it appears that Fisher is not quite ready to call it quits, as he has been booked to face fellow UFC vet Yves Edwards at UFC on FOX 8, which transpires from the KeyArena in Seattle, Washington on July 27th. Fisher has dropped 5 of his last 6 contests, whereas Edwards has gone win-loss in his last 5 fights and is coming off a unanimous decision loss to Strikeforce newcomer Isaac Vallie-Flagg at UFC 156. For Fisher’s sake, we hope he wins this, because ending your career on your own terms sure beats joining the And Now He’s Fired club.

And now let’s address the possible person of interest pictured above, who has also been booked for UFC on FOX 8…

(Wait…it’s already been FIVE YEARS since these two last fought?!!) 

Trilogy fever has officially struck Zuffa.

Word has it that lightweight scrappers Sam Stout and Spencer Fisher will meet for a third time at UFC on FX 4 this June, in a fight that will be an early front runner for “Fight of the Night” to say the least. Both Fisher and Stout are coming off losses to Thiago Tavares, so it seems a good a time as any to have these two square off once again, because MMA fans eat up rematches like fried Kool-aid nowadays.

Fisher and Stout last met way back at UFN 10 in June of 2007, where Fisher was able to erase the memory of his split decision, “Fight of the Year” earning loss to Stout at UFC 58 by walking away with a close but unanimous decision victory. As of late, however, Fisher has descended further down the lightweight ladder with each performance, to the point that he could be fighting for his job come June 22nd. He has dropped 4 of his last 5, with the lone win coming by way of UD over UFC washout Curt “The War” Warburton at UFC 120. Yes, you read that correctly; Curt Warburton’s nickname is “The War.” What a crafty SOB.

Stout has seen quite a bit more success recently, scoring wins in 4 of his last 6, including a first round starching of Yves Edwards at UFC 131 last year. After his long time trainer and close friend Shawn Tompkins suddenly passed away, however, Stout pulled out of his bout with Dennis Siver to do some “soul searching” along with fellow Team Tompkins members Chris Horodecki and Mark Hominick. Upon returning to the octagon, the aftereffects of such a tragic loss were still noticeable, as both Stout and Hominick suffered defeats to Tavares and Chan Sung Jung, respectively.

In other fight booking news…

UFC Fight Night 13 - tentatively scheduled for April 2 – will now also feature a lightweight showdown between Spencer Fisher and Marcus Aurelio, reports MMA Junkie. Sources have confirmed that both fighters have agreed to the fight, although nothing has been signed. We do know that UFC Fight Night 13 will be the lead-in for “The Ultimate Fighter 7” season premiere and it’s rumored to go down in Colorado.

Spencer Fisher is 31 and owns a record of 20-4, with three of those losses happening in the UFC. He lost a decision to Frankie Edgar at UFC 78, but did rock Sam Stout at UFC Fight Night 10 to avenge his earlier loss to “Hands of Stone” (incidentally, a nickname trying so hard to sound tough that it might make our next worst nicknames list). Marcus Aurelio is three years older than “The King Fisher” (get it? The Fisher King!) and had lost three fights in a row before getting back on track – also at UFC 78 - when he TKO’d Luke Caudillo in the first round. He stands at 15-5, but hasn’t been too impressive in his two UFC fights.

(Melvin Guillard shuts down Dennis Siver. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

MMA Weekly has confirmed that UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago) will feature a lightweight bout between Spencer Fisher and Melvin Guillard. Fisher (21-4, 6-3 UFC) is coming off a decision win against Jeremy Stephens at the TUF 7 finale in June, while Guillard (21-7-2, 4-3 UFC) is coming off a 36-second KO of Dennis Siver, which won him the “Knockout of the Night” bonus at last month’s UFC 86. Seems like a decent matchup, though Fisher’s coach Pat Miletich isn’t so pleased: “Spencer has no reason to fight that guy,” Miletich told MMA Weekly. “I don’t think Melvin’s earned the right to fight him yet. I think Spencer should be fighting somebody where he’s got something to gain.”

Also in the lightweight division at UFC 90, Sherdog reports that Hermes Franca (who has dropped his last two fights to Sean Sherk and Frank Edgar) will be facing Gleison Tibau (who has dropped his last two fights to Tyson Griffin and Joe Stevenson). It goes without saying that the loser of this match could find himself bounced out of the UFC. Tibau currently trains at American Top Team, and Hermes Franca — a former ATT member — considers him a friend.

MMA Weekly also lists a third high-profile lightweight bout — between Sean Sherk and Tyson Griffin — on its UFC 90 Rumors page. The event will feature the middleweight title fight between Anderson Silva and Patrick Cote, as well as a potential #1 welterweight contender match between Thiago Alves and Diego Sanchez.

In other UFC news…

— Wanderlei Silva will return to the Octagon in December against Unknown Fighter.

— Ever wonder why Luke Cummo looks so damn healthy and energetic? Partly the pee-drinking, mostly the pre-fight fasting.

— Brock Lesnar isn’t ruling out a return to pro wrestling.

— Dana White allows you into his world.

(Photo courtesy of Newsday.)

— TUF 3 finalist Ed Herman, who broke a two-fight skid in April with a unanimous decision win over David Loiseau, has been tapped to replace James "Job" Irvin against Wilson Gouveia at UFC 102, according to Sherdog. Irvin was forced to withdraw from the fight this week due to yet another serious knee injury. Herman was previously scheduled to face Aaron Simpson at UFC Fight Night 19 (September 16th, Oklahoma City).

— UFC 104 (October 24th, Los Angeles) will reportedly host a lightweight battle between Joe Stevenson and Spencer Fisher. "Joe Daddy" broke a two-fight losing streak of his own when he scored a decision win over Nate Diaz at the TUF 9 finale in June. Fisher is riding a three fight win-streak and most recently outpointed Caol Uno at UFC 99. The match will likely be on the main card, supporting the light-heavyweight title fight between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua.

(You ever get the feeling that Eddie developed his style of jiu-jitsu specifically to put hot chicks in uncomfortable positions?)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Vadim Finkelstein: Fedor Emelianenko’s agreement with the UFC is still possible (LowKick)

– Falling Action: Winners and Losers in the Aftermath of UFC 116 (MMA Fighting)

– UFC 116: Lesnar vs. Carwin Exclusive Photos (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Maybe the next time you see Ubereem, you should just move out of his way lady [GIF] (MiddleEasy)

– FIGHT! Life: José Aldo – The Beautiful Game [VIDEO] (Fight! Magazine)

– WEC 50 ‘Benavidez vs Cruz’ Trailer (MMA Scraps)

– Your UFC 116 MVP and Maybe MVP of 2010… (Watch Kalib Run)

– Spencer Fisher vs. Kurt Warburton booked for UFC 120 (Five Ounces of Pain)

(Either he’s suffering from jet-lag, or he stayed up all night watching a Bad Girls Club marathon. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After getting soundly handled by Kenny Florian last month, Takanori Gomi will get another chance to prove himself in the UFC — but it won’t be easy. As first reported by MMA Mania, the Fireball Kid will compete at the next "UFC on Versus" show (August 1st, Salt Lake City) against UFC lightweight contender Joe Stevenson. Though Stevenson is coming off a decision loss to George Sotiropolous at UFC 110, he looked better than ever in his previous victories over Spencer Fisher and Nate Diaz, and has to be thought of as the favorite in this matchup. It’s an absolute must-win for Gomi, who would likely be released by the UFC if he loses. Anybody think he’s got a shot?

Semi-related: Randy Couture is slated to appear on the UFC’s August 28th card in Boston, which has fired speculation that he will be facing former boxing champ James Toney, who he previously called dibs on. You’d better hope this doesn’t actually come together, Randy — this guy’s daddy was an original death fighter, for God’s sake…

(You just signed your own motherfucking death-warrant, Gugerty.)

After the jump, for spoiler-haters…

(Caol Uno vs. BJ Penn at UFC 34. Okay, so they weren’t all brilliant performances…)

After nearly six years away from the organization, one of the UFC’s early lightweight stars will be making his long-awaited return this summer. MMA Junkie reports that Japanese grappler Caol Uno has re-signed with the UFC and will likely step back into the Octagon against Spencer Fisher at UFC 99 (June 13th; Cologne, Germany). 

After beginning his MMA career in Shooto, where he eventually won the league’s 154-pound title, Uno entered the UFC in 2001 and immediately fought for the UFC’s "bantamweight" (155-pound) title against Jens Pulver. He lost a decision to Lil’ Evil, but after going 2-1 in his next three fights — including wins over Fabiano Iha and Yves Edwards, and the 11-second loss to BJ Penn shown above — Uno was invited to compete in a four-man UFC tournament to fill the lightweight title that Pulver had vacated. Uno defeated Din Thomas by decision in the tourney’s first round at UFC 39, but ran into Penn once again at UFC 41 in February 2003. The two fought to a frustrating five-round split-draw, which led the UFC to disband the 155-pound division for three years.

Uno fought for K-1 during that time, scoring notable wins over Hideo Tokoro, Rich Clementi, and Kultar Gill in their Hero’s promotion. Last year, Uno entered DREAM’s lightweight grand prix, where he choked out Mitsuhiro Ishida in the quarterfinals before losing to Shinya Aoki by decision in the semis. In recent weeks, Uno was mentioned as one of the fighters that the UFC wanted to use to break into Japan. Said Dana White: "Caol Uno, I love him. He’ll always be a part of the UFC. And yeah, we’re talking to him, too." 

Uno’s next opponent, Spencer Fisher, is 7-3 in the Octagon and has won his last two bouts against Jeremy Stephens and Shannon Gugerty; he also holds UFC wins over Thiago Alves, Matt Wiman, and Sam Stout. So, it won’t exactly be an easy "welcome back" fight for the Japanese veteran.

Two videos of Uno actually winning fights are after the jump…

(Fisher…out!)

First, a blown-out knee threw a monkey wrench into what was going to be the most interesting fight of UFC 85. Now it’s Ultimate Fight Night 13‘s turn to lose a highly anticipated bout, as a shoulder injury has forced Spencer Fisher to withdraw from his match against Marcus Aurelio on April 2nd. Said Fisher’s manager Monte Cox:

“Marcus Aurelio is not the kind of fighter you want to fight at 80 percent. [Fisher] was willing to fight but we decided it just was not a smart decision.”

Aurelio is now expected to face Jim Miller, a 10-1 lightweight who has never set foot in the Octagon, and whose sole loss came at the hands of Frankie Edgar at a Reality Fighting event in 2006. Should be a……………….ah, sorry, nodded off for a second there.

In related news, 6-0 middleweight Bryan “The Beast” Baker has stepped in to face Chael Sonnen next Wednesday at WEC 33, which will be headlined by a light-heavyweight title fight between Doug Marshall and Brian Stann. Paulo Filho is still drying out in a Brazilian rehab facility, working the program and taking it one day at a time.

With all of the hype that UFC 134 has been riding, one had to assume that tickets would sell pretty quickly. According to MMAjunkie.com, tickets to the event sold out in only 74 minutes yesterday afternoon. The arena where UFC 134 will take place, the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, can accommodate nearly 17,000 fans. In addition to UFC 134, Dana White has announced that the UFC plans on booking multiple events in Brazil next year.

UFC 134 marks the UFC’s first visit to Brazil in over a decade, and first visit to Rio de Janiero. The last event to take place in Brazil, UFC Ultimate Brazil (October 1998 in Sao Paulo), saw Frank Shamrock defend his middleweight title against John Lober and Vitor Belfort punch out Wanderlei Silva. The event also saw Pat Miletich defeat Mikey Burnett to become the organization’s inaugural welterweight champion.

The official fight card for UFC 134 after the jump:

(And if they touch chins? Forget it, bro. Total chaos.)

Despite an official 4-0 record in the Octagon, TUF 10 vet Matt Mitrione won’t be getting a big step up for his next bout. The UFC confirmed yesterday that ‘Meathead’ will be taking on fellow heavyweight Christian Morecraft at UFC on Versus 4 (June 26th, Pittsburgh). Morecraft tasted victory last month with a technical submission over Sean McCorkle, but was knocked out by Stefan Struve in his UFC debut last August. Mitrione last competed at ‘Fight for the Troops 2′ in Janaury, where he scored a first-round TKO over Tim Hague, but injured his left hand during the fight.

Also announced for the UFC on Versus 4 card was the return of Joe Lauzon, who will be trying to bounce back from his kimura loss to George Sotiropoulos at UFC 123. J-Lau will face British lightweight prospect Curt Warburton, who recently outpointed Maciej Jewtuszko at UFC 127, following a decision loss to Spencer Fisher in his debut. The current list of matchups for the UFC’s first trip to Pittsburgh is after the jump…

(Props: caposa)

In case you missed it, all fighters made weight for tomorrow’s UFC 120 event; the numbers are after the jump. Remember to come back to CagePotato.com tomorrow night at 8 p.m. ET for our tape-delayed "live"-blog of the Spike TV broadcast.

One notable absence from today’s weigh-ins was light-heavyweight Steve Cantwell, who ripped a knee ligament in training yesterday and was forced to withdraw from his fight. The general consensus on this week’s installment of The Bum Rush Radio Show was that Cantwell — on a two-fight losing skid and slated to face scary Bulgarian Stanislav Nedkov — was in serious danger of getting fired after Saturday. So maybe this is for the best…

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

We know that times are tough. So when you have a chance to bet fake money on an event that’s being broadcast for free on basic cable, you have to jump on it. This week, MMA Fightpicker presents questions related to Saturday’s UFC 120 event in London (Spike TV, 8 p.m. ET/PT). Will Bisping vs. Akiyama go the distance? Will the main card’s heavyweight feature end with a dude getting his ass KTFO? Out of the seven British fighters in the lineup, how many will actually win? Check out the full list of pool questions after the jump, and throw down your predictions at fightpicker.cagepotato.com or apps.facebook.com/fightpicker…

(We’re a little freaked-out too, Mike.)

UFC 120 (October 16th, London) is one of those international events that will be shown for free on Spike, so we didn’t really expect a massive headliner, but still, this is a bit of a slap in the nuts. Fighters Only reports that the card’s main event will be a middleweight contest between soap-opera star Michael Bisping and Yoshihiro Akiyama. Yes, that Yoshihiro Akiyama, the one who was submitted by Chris Leben last weekend. Akiyama deserves a headlining spot about as much as Mark Hunt deserves a UFC contract after going winless for four years.* Of course, the prospect of Bisping beating up a foreign fancy-boy will probably be enough to get the locals to come out. We’re just glad we don’t have to pay for this one. The rumored UFC 120 lineup currently looks like this…

Michael Bisping vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama
Dan Hardy vs. Carlos Condit
Cheick Kongo vs. Travis Browne
John Hathaway vs. Dong Hyun Kim
Spencer Fisher vs. Kurt Warburton
Rob Broughton vs. Vinicius Quieroz
Alexander Gustafsson vs. Cyrille Diabaté
James Te-Huna vs. Tom Blackledge

* Turns out, the UFC contractually owes Mark Hunt fights due to their 2007 purchase of PRIDE.

(They used to be boring wrestlers until Guida stopped being boring and Sherk stopped wrestling.)

Seems like it had to happen eventually: According to a new report on MMA Junkie, a lightweight showdown between Clay Guida and former champion Sean Sherk is being penciled in for UFC Fight Night 21 (March 21st, Denver; live on Versus). With his wrestling prowess and relentless pace, Guida has long been a threat in the 155-pound division, but he’s dropped his last two fights against Diego Sanchez (via split decision in June) and Kenny Florian (via second-round rear-naked choke in December). Meanwhile, Sherk has lost two out of his last three appearances — most recently a unanimous decision against Frankie Edgar at UFC 98 — due in large part to a decreasingly effective focus on boxing. Sherk was supposed to make his Octagon return earlier this month against Rafaello Oliveira, but was struck down by The Curse.

As we previously reported, the 3/21 card will be headlined by Jon Jones vs. Brandon Vera, and will likely include Anthony Johnson vs. John Howard. A lightweight scrap between Spencer Fisher and Duane "Bang" Ludwig, and a light-heavyweight tilt between Vladimir Matyushenko and TUF 8 vet Eliot Marshall are also being reported for the event

All fighters made weight today in Cologne, Germany, for tomorrow’s UFC 99 event — though things got off to a tense start for the undercard fighters. During the heavyweight faceoff between Stefan Struve and Denis Stojnic, the much-taller Struve leaned in to rest his forehead on Stojnic’s face, and the much-fatter Stojnic shoved him off; Dana White had to jump in to separate them. Then it happened again in the very next staredown, as Paul Kelly pushed his forehead against Roli Delgado‘s, and the Crazy Cuban angrily pushed Tellys off of him. The meeting between Dan Hardy and Marcus Davis was disappointingly cordial. The numbers are after the jump…

(Here goes Wanderlei, telling another one of his obviously bullshit fishing stories.)

The UFC’s summer venture into Cologne, Germany on June 13 is beginning to take shape, and that shape is already pretty intriguing — much like a dodecahedron, only not as pretentious.

MMA Weekly reports that Rich Franklin and Wanderlei Silva are likely to meet at a catchweight of around 195 pounds or so.  While it’s not the kind of fight that would determine a title contender – and even if it did we wouldn’t know for sure which weight class that contender might be in – it is the kind of bout that is interesting just ’cause.  Franklin and Silva are both on a sort of downward slope in their careers, so why not fight each other and see how it turns out?

Also a possibility for UFC 99, at least in his own mind, is Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic.  Fresh out of surgery on an injured knee, Cro Cop told a Croatian website (which was then translated by our friend Robert at Betwwx.com) that he was “very confident” he’d be fighting for the UFC in Germany this June.  As for potential opponents, Cro Cop mentioned Randy Couture and sounded pretty pumped about the idea.  

Sounds good to us.  If the UFC can add Cro Cop-Couture and Franklin-Silva to a card that already has Caol Uno-Spencer Fisher and maybe, possibly even B.J. Penn-Kenny Florian, Germany’s world will officially get rocked, as The Scorpions might say, like a hurricane.

What a bizarre night. If, like me, you can’t quite make sense of what you saw last night, the video above gives you another chance to sort through it all. What does it say when Bruce Buffer provides more intensity than the main event?

Bonus awards for UFC 90 were $65,000 a piece and it played out like this:

Fight of the Night: Sean Sherk and Tyson Griffin
Submission of the Night: Spencer Fisher
KO of the Night: Junior Dos Santos

Awarding bonuses this time around must have felt like a strange process. There were only two submissions (Thales Leites’ choke of McFedries was not impressive enough somehow) and one knockout, and picking a fight of the night had to be a lot like picking a favorite Arena League football team. Apparently 15,359 people showed up to be disappointed by the most unsatisfying UFC in recent memory, with a live gate totaling $2.85 million.

Dos Santos’ vicious knockout of Werdum is after the jump, along with the so-called fight of the night and more.

(Photo courtesy of MMAFrenzy.com.)

We previously mentioned that UFC lightweight Melvin Guillard had to pull out of his UFC 90 bout with Spencer Fisher for undisclosed reasons. Well, now those reasons are disclosed — and it ain’t lookin’ good. Sherdog is reporting that the Young Assassin is in custody at the Harris County jail in Houston, due to an August 13th arrest for violating probation on a 2007 drug charge. Guillard will be released to a drug treatment facility “as soon as space becomes available per the terms of his recently amended probation.” And it probably won’t be one of those cushy drug treatment facilities that lets patients take days off to go fight in Chicago, so there you have it.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Guillard has had drug/legal trouble since his UFC career began in 2005. The New Orleans native was suspended for eight months after testing positive for cocaine following a submission loss to Joe Stevenson at UFC Fight Night 9 in April 2007. (Guillard admitted using the drug six days before the fight, thinking it would be out of his system within 72 hours.) Four months later, he was arrested for possession of a controlled substance, but got off with a fine and two years probation — which he has now violated.

If you’ve been keeping score, that’s three strikes. Unfortunately, Guillard’s not nearly valuable enough to the UFC for them to keep giving him chances; we’d expect a semi-official announcement of his dismissal sometime this week. Guillard is still an exciting-enough fighter to continue to get work in smaller shows, but we’re more concerned about his health and well-being at this point. Let’s hope his latest incident compels him to clean up for good…

I wish I could embed this — but you’ll have to click the picture above to see a “leaked” clip from this Wednesday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, in which C.B. Dollaway playfully kicks Rampage during a training session, which spurs Rampage to take his pants off and challenge Dollaway to a submission grappling match. We’ll just say that he should have kept his pants on, and that Nick Klein is a dead man.

Speaking of The Ultimate Fighter 7, the undercard for the season finale (June 21st, live at 9 p.m. ET on SpikeTV) has been officially announced. Right now, the lineup looks like this:

Evan Tanner vs. Kendall Grove
Diego Sanchez vs. Luigi Fioravanti
[match between the show's two middleweight finalists]
Spencer Fisher vs. Jeremy Stephens
Josh Burkman vs. Dustin Hazelett
Marvin Eastman vs. Drew McFedries
Jeremy Horn vs. Dean Lister
Matt Arroyo vs. TBA?
Rob Yundt vs. TBA?

Other bouts featuring the show’s castmembers are also expected to be included in the three-hour telecast. I’ll sell my third testicle if Dollaway isn’t involved.

Another must-see: Remember that thing about Kimbo Slice presenting at the CMAs on Sunday? Well, it was even more awkward and uncomfortable than we thought it would be. Vid is after the jump…click if you dare.

(Seriously, click it.)

A new link on UFC.com (shown above) is soliciting applicants for the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter, which will apparently focus on the big boys and the wee ones. The link takes you to TUF‘s standard application; the deadline is just two weeks from now, so if you’re actually thinking about giving it a shot, get movin’. Or just sit on your ass and let life pass you by, either way.

In other Octagon news…

— Jason “The Punisher” Lambert will likely be returning to the cage at UFC 85 (June 7th, London) against Luis Arthur Cane. Both men are coming off of losses — Lambert due to an out-of-nowhere comeback knockout at the fists of Wilson Gouveia at UFC 80, and Cane due to an illegal-knee disqualification loss against James Irvin at UFC 79.

— Lanky TUF 6 weirdo Ben Saunders may be returning to the Octagon at UFC 86 (July 5th, Las Vegas, headlined by Rampage vs. Forrest). Saunders is 5-0-2 professionally, and has been training with the murderer’s row at American Top Team.

— Speaking of ATT fighters, Marcus Aurelio may actually be facing UFC newbie Ryan Roberts at UFN 13 rather than Jim Miller. Spencer Fisher is definitely still injured.

(Props: MMA Junkie)

[Lightweights] Frankie Edgar def. Spencer Fisher via unanimous decision

[Middleweights] Ed Herman def. Joe Doerksen via K.O. (punch, third round)

[Welterweights] Karo Parisyan def. Ryo Chonan via unanimous decision

[Light heavyweights] Thiago Silva def. Houston Alexander via TKO (punches, first round)

[Light heavyweights, main event] Rashad Evans def. Michael Bisping via split decision

Full report to come tomorrow, but here’s a sneak preview: This was the dullest and most disappointing UFC event I’ve ever seen. And that’s not just sour grapes because my prediction* turned out to be inaccurate. Name me one UFC card in the AF era that was worse than this one.

* If my dream wasn’t a foretelling, what do you think it meant? (There’s no “MMA” entry in my dream dictionary.) I’m open to all (most) suggestions.

(Hold on to your asses: Jason “Coked Out Steve Carell” Reinhardt vows to make it chaotic for Tiequan Zhang. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Directly before this Saturday’s pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 127: Penn vs. Fitch, you’ll be able to watch five of the event’s seven prelim fights absolutely free of charge — assuming you use Facebook and your cable package includes the ION network. The action begins at 5 p.m. PT / 8 p.m. ET on Facebook.com/UFC, which will feature a live stream of Anthony Perosh vs. Tom Blackledge and Jason Reinhardt vs. Tiequan Zhang.

Then at 6 p.m. PT / 9 p.m. ET, the fights move to Ion Television for a live broadcast of Nick Ring vs. Riki Fukuda, James Te-Huna vs. Alexander Gustafsson, and Ross Pearson vs. Spencer Fisher.

At this point, the only bouts that won’t be guaranteed TV time are Mark Hunt vs. Chris Tuchscherer and Maciej Jewtuszko vs. Curt Warburton — and since either of those fights could end in a short, violent stoppage, you may see them pop up in the pay-per-view broadcast. The complete lineup of UFC 127 is after the jump.

(Weird, that’s the face I make when I even consider drinking urine.)

While you can usually find odds on the full fight card for a UFC event – even the dark matches that some ticketholders don’t bother to show up for – most online bookies seem to be trimming back their activity for UFC 104.  Is that a statement on the undercard itself?  An indicator that they’ve realized the futility of trying to lay odds on guys who most people know almost nothing about?  A freak occurrence?  We have no idea.  All it means to us is that we’ll have to scratch Stefan Struve over Chase Gormley from our parlay.  Bummer.

The best lines on the internet come courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Lyoto Machida (-405) vs. Shogun Rua (+353)
Cain Velasquez (-290) vs. Ben Rothwell (+280)
Joe Stevenson (-225) vs. Spencer Fisher (+205)
Anthony Johnson (-300) vs. Yoshiyuki Yoshida (+300)
Ryan Bader (-412) vs. Eric Schafer (+355)
Antoni Hardonk (-115) vs. Pat Barry (+115)
Yushin Okami (-215) vs. Chael Sonnen (+200)

The breakdown…

Just a friendly reminder to those of you who have yet to enter your UFC 99 picks in this forum thread, you only have until midnight PST tonight (Friday, 6/12) to get them in.  You know you want to see what Lyoto Machida’s “Karate for MMA” DVD set is all about, while also establishing your dominance as the MMA prognosticator of all prognosticators.  This is the best chance to do both at once.  Take our word for it, nothing impresses the ladies like bringing them back to your place, popping in a Machida instructional DVD, and telling them how you won this puppy free of charge thanks to the power of your brain.  It helps if the ladies are very drunk and not listening to you at all during this.

After the jump, check out our UFC 99 picks and be amazed.  Or just mock us in the comments section.  Either way.

(It’s going to take more than a Sandstorm to intimidate Rich "The Cyborg Soldier" Franklin. Just like it takes more than two weeks of acting classes to hang with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.)

Just a few days from now the UFC will invade Germany with the force of the Allies, the Soviet Red Army, and David Haselhoff all rolled into one.  If you’re anything like us, you’re sitting there right now wondering how you can make a quick, labor-free buck off the whole thing.  Take a good hard look at the latest betting lines, from BestFightOdds.com, and let’s see what we can come up with:

Wanderlei Silva (+126) vs. Rich Franklin (-139)
Cain Velasquez (-181) vs. Cheick Kongo (+165)
Mike Swick (-200) vs. Ben Saunders (+190)
Marcus Davis (-200) vs. Dan Hardy (+180)
Spencer Fisher (-188) vs. Caol Uno (+175)
Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic (-390) vs. Mostapha Al Turk (+350)
Dennis Siver (-170) vs. Dale Hartt (+150)
Terry Etim (-350) vs. Justin Buchholz (+300)
Paul Taylor (-350) vs. Peter Sobotta (+300)
Paul Kelly (-400) vs. Rolando Delgado (+325)
John Hathaway (-140) vs. Rick Story (+120)
Stefan Struve (-130) vs. Denis Stojnic (+110)

So where’s our money going?

(Ah, the Rumbleweight Diet, or as it’s known to the general public, the Fatkins diet. Well, played, Mr. Guida.) 

Just a reminder to make sure and swing by CagePotato at 4 p.m. ET/1 p.m. PT to catch the live weigh-ins and results for tomorrow night’s UFC on FX 4: Maynard vs. Guida event, which goes down from the Revel Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Although the card may be somewhat lacking in terms of drawing power, it does feature some top to bottom great matchups that are sure to entertain. And let’s be honest, it’s more stacked than any pay-per-view event you’ll be purchasing stealing this weekend. Aside from the five round main event between perennial lightweight contenders Clay Guida and Gray Maynard, we will be treated to the anticipated trilogy bout between Spencer Fisher and Sam Stout, which may very well be Fisher’s last in the octagon, as well as a pair of great contests between Muay Thai “Bad Boy” Brian Ebersole and submission whiz T.J. Walburger and featherweight sluggers Ross Pearson and Cub Swanson. The undercard kicks off with the long-awaited return of our boy Dan Miller, who will be taking on Brazilian Ricardo Funch.

We will be liveblogging all of the action starting tomorrow at 9 p.m ET, so if your Friday is looking less than spectacular, why not spend an evening with your favorite drunken slobs?

Video and full results after the jump.